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Karkat Vantas is about to go on his first date with Eridan Ampora. He’s so fucking nervous even though he shouldn’t be, they’re literally just going to watch movies at Eridan’s hive. Still, Karkat’s very nervous. No one knows why.
As Karkat approaches Eridan’s front door, his hands shake quite a bit as he reaches for the doorbell. He manages to press it without having a fucking seizure. A few moments later, Eridan opens it and greets Karkat.
CA: hey kar!
CG: HEY, ERIDAN. UHM.. CAN I.. COME IN..?
CA: kar, wwere goin on a date. wwhy wwouldnt ya be allowwed in?
CG: RIGHT, RIGHT.
The highblood steps back a few so the mutant troll could come in. Eridan notices the fact that Karkat looks very, very nervous.
CA: kar, hun, ya dont havve to be nervvous wwere just wwatchin movvies
CG: I KNOW, I KNOW. IT’S JUST OUR FIRST D,,, DATE,, AND BEING NERVOUS IS INEVITABLE.
CA: i understand that
CA: noww, wwhat movvie wwould you like to wwatch dear?
CG: 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, DEFINITELY.
CA: you really like that one dont you? you talk bout it a lot although ivve nevver seen it
CG: YOU HAVEN’T?! WE NEED TO WATCH IT.
CG: THIS ISN’T A REQUEST, IT’S A DEMAND.
CA: hahaha alright
CA: wwhere do wwe wwatch it?
CG: AMAZON. OR ILLEGALLY, I DON’T CARE. MAYBE JUST AMAZON THOUGH, I DON’T WANT TO SEE ‘’AANNAA IS 5 MILES AWAY!’’ WHILE WE’RE TRYING TO ENJOY IT.
CA: youre payin
CG: AREN’T YOU LITERALLY RICH?
CA: im not wwastin my cash on this movvie, you like it enough, so you pay
CG: FUCK YOU.
CA: go ahead
CG: WHAT?
CA: nothin, cmere
Eridan leads Karkat to the couch, or sofa, or whatever you wanna call it. The highblood sits down and pats the spot next to him, gesturing for the mutant to sit there. He listens, and takes the spot.
The violet hands the remote to the candy red so he could find and put on the movie. He quickly does so, taking no time at all.
CG: I HAVE TO WARN YOU, THERE’S NO TALKING FOR AROUND 20 MINUTES OF IT.
CA: wwhy?
CG: I’M NOT SURE.
CA: youre obsessed wwith this movvie, you lovve talkin bout it, nonstop i might add, but you dont knoww wwhy theres no talkin for 20 minutes?
CG: YEAH.
CA: howw
CG: I DON’T KNOW.
CA: wwoww
CG:
They sit in silence after that, watching the movie. At around 57 minutes in, Karkat goes fucking insane over the AI appearing for the first time.
CG: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! IT’S THE FUCKING ROBOT GUY!
CA: wwho?
CG: THE RED GLOWING CIRCLE THAT WAS THERE FOR A SECOND!
CA: is that hal?
CG: YEAH!! (:B
CG: HE’S REALLY COOL I SWEAR!! WAIT ‘TIL HIS INTRODUCTION.
CA: wwhats so special bout him that ya think hes ‘’really cool’’ he seems like just some robot
CG: HOW DARE YOU. HE’S NOT JUST SOME ROBOT. HE’S HAL. HE’S AWESOME.
CA: wwhatevver ya say kar
CG: ):<
Again, silence. Except for the squealing noises Karkat fails to hold in everytime HAL appears on screen. A bit later, Eridan suddenly holds Karkat’s hand. The candy red fucking bluescreens. Or, redscreens. The violet laughs a bit at this, and continues holding his hand.
Once the movie’s over, they start talking about it. Karkat’s very happy about this.
CG: SO UM, DID YOU LIKE IT,,?
CA: surprisingly, yeah
CG: GOOD! YOU BETTER. I’D HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU IF YOU DIDN’T.
CA: thank gog i like it then, i dont wwanna break up with ya
CA: youre too adorable to lose
CG:
CG: I’M ADORABLE?
CA: yeah you are haha
CG: ,,HOW?
CA: wwell, you got really excited ovver seein hal, squealed evvery time he came on screen, crashed like a husktop because i held your hand, wwas nervvous wwhen ya got here, and didnt get my pailin joke
CA: id say thats adorable
CG:
CG: DO YOU KNOW WHAT ADORABLE MEANS? NONE OF THAT’S ADORABLE.
CA: yes i do kar
CA: youre the definition of adorable at this point
CG: YOU CLEARLY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS IF YOU’RE CALLING ME IT.
CA: kar im not stupid i knoww wwhat adorable means
CA: youre adorable my lovve
CG: OK WHATEVER.
Karkat tries to hide the blush creeping up on his face. He fails.
CA: awwww
CG: SHUT UP.
CA: make me
CG: GLADLY!
CA: wwh-
Eridan gets cut off by Karkat pulling him into a kiss. Now Eridan’s the one blushing. No, actually, they’re both blushing. They pull away after a bit, because they obviously need to breathe. No one’s dying here.
CG:
CA:
CG:
CA:
CG: THAT WAS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER DONE.
CA: same
CG: WANNA WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE?
CA: sure! wwhat do ya got in mind?
CG: 2010: THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT.
CA: really,,?
CG: PLEASE.
CA: fiiiiine
CA: youre still payin
CG: YOU’RE LITERALLY RICH, WHY CAN’T YOU FUCKING PAY FOR IT!! IT’S LIKE 9 BUCKS!!
CA: youre the one that wwants to wwatch it dear
CG: THAT DOESN’T MEAN I’M THE ONE THAT HAS TO PAY FOR IT! YOU HAVE THE MONEY!
CA: fine fine
CG: (:B
CA: :]
Eridan pays and puts it on. Karkat’s very excited.
CA: wwoww, theres actually talkin at the start! im surprised
CG: SHUT UP.
The mutant has another fucking seizure when HAL comes on screen. The violet laughs at this. They finish the movie a while later, and Eridan’s fallen asleep on the other, so Karkat’s decided to pester his moirail about what’s been happening without waking him up.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 00:05 --
CG: DUDE, YOU UP?
BA: yeah dude
BA: hows the date with eridan
CG: IT’S BEEN AWESOME, MAN. WE WATCHED 2001 AND 2010.
BA: of course you did
BA: whats going on now?
CG: HE’S FALLEN ASLEEP ON ME. WE JUST FINISHED WATCHING 2010.
BA: sick
BA: do anything other than watch movies
CG: I KISSED HIM.
BA: oh ok
BA: wasnt expectin that
BA: but congrats dude
CG: YEAH, YEAH. HOW’S YOUR NIGHT BEEN GOING?
BA: ive been playing splatoon and various other games for 5 hours
CG: OOOOF COURSE YOU HAVE. SOUNDS LIKE A GREAAAAAT NIGHT.
BA: hell yeah it is
BA: ive won all of my splatoon matches
CG: NO WAY.
BA: yes way
CG: YOU’RE LYING TO ME.
BA: would i lie to you karkat
CG: YES. YES YOU WOULD.
BA: ur right
CG: OF COURSE I AM.
CG: ANYWAY, I’M GONNA GO. I DON’T WANT ERIDAN WAKING UP.
BA: cya man
CG: <>
BA: <>
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 00:11 --
Karkat puts his palmhusk back in his pocket, smiles at Eridan, and falls asleep too.
Eridan wakes up hours later, realizing he fell asleep on Karkat. He doesn’t really mind, though. He just goes back to sleep. They both wake up later ( 2:12pm ) with dozens of pester notifications asking if they’re awake. And they’re both by BA and AG.
-- breakableArtist [BA] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 9:24 --
BA: you up yet
BA: thats a no i guess
-- breakableArtist [BA] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 9:31 --
-- breakableArtist [BA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:31 --
BA: are you up yet bro
BA: eridan isnt
BA: i hope you are i wanna play minecraft
BA:
BA: ok youre not either
-- breakableArtist [BA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:37 --
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 9:45 --
AG: Heard you kissed the mut8nt.
AG: How’d it go?
AG:
AG: You gonna fucking respond, seadwell8r?
AG: Fine. Don’t.
AG: 8itch. /j
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 9:50 --
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:51 --
AG: I heard you kissed the seadwell8r.
AG: He’s too far away on the hemospectrum from you. You’re 8reaking all of the rules.
AG: Someone’s gonna cull you for sure.
AG:
AG: Are you going to ignore me too?
AG: Whatev8r.
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:55 --
Karkat’s the first one to awaken after this. He checks his palmhusk and finds he has 13 Trollian notifications.
CG: ,,ERIDAN?
CG: HEY, ERIDAN, WAKE UP.
CA: ,,,wwhats up kar i wwas sleepin pretty good
CA: better havve a good reason for wwakin me up
CG: I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF TROLLIAN NOTIFICATIONS AS I DO.
CG: PEOPLE KNOW THAT WE FUCKING KISSED?
CA: they do??
CA: did ya tell anyone??
CG: I TOLD BA BUT THAT’S IT,,
CA: he mustvve told others then
CA: bitch
CG: FOR REAL.
CA: remind me to kick his ass later
CG: WILL DO.
CA: anywway wwanna kiss again
CA: it wwas nice
CG: HELL YEAH.
Unsurprisingly, they kiss again. It’s unsurprisingly because they just said they were going to. After the quick bit of kissing, they decided to talk about the Trollian notifications.
CG: SO,, WANNA ANSWER THE TROLLIAN NOTIFICATIONS?
CA: sure
CA: nothin else to do right noww
CG: OK.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 2:21 PM --
CG: DUDE.
CG: WE WERE SLEEPING.
BA: oh
BA: that explains a lot
CG: WE CAN’T PLAY MINECRAFT RIGHT NOW. NEITHER OF US ARE NEAR OUR HUSKTOPS.
BA: damn
BA: wait youre still at eridans hive
CG: YES. I AM.
BA: cool
BA: let me know when you can play mc
CG: WILL DO.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 2:25 PM --
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 2:25 PM --
CA: wwe wwere sleepin
BA: i know now karkat told me
CA: how didnt it occur to ya that wwe wwere sleepin
CA: did ya never go ‘’hey wwhat if these twwo trolls are sleepin thats wwhy theyre not respondin’’
BA: no i didnt
CA: youre stupider than i thought
CA: ok bye
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering breakableArtist [BA] at 2:27 PM --
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] at 2:27 PM --
CG: VRISKA, WE WERE SLEEPING.
AG: No, you were ignoring me.
AG: I can tell whenev8r someone is ignoring me.
AG: I’m not stupid.
CG: OK, BUT WE *WERE* SLEEPING.
CG: YOU MIGHT BE STUPID.
AG: I’m not stupid!!!!!!!!
CG: YES YOU ARE.
AG: Whatev8r!!!!!!!!
CG: BYE NOW.
AG: Farew8ll. ::::)
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] at 2:30 PM --
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] at 2:30 PM --
CA: wwe wwere sleepin vvris
AG: Karkat just told me that.
AG: 8ut I don’t 8elieve it!!!!!!!!
AG: It’s really 8asy to tell when someone’s ignoring me.
CA: vvris
CA: wwe
CA: wwere
CA: sleepin
CA: no ones ignorin ya
AG: Whatev8r.
-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] at 2:33 PM --
CG: WELL, THAT’S THAT TAKEN CARE OF.
CA: yup
CG: I’M HUNGRY.
CA: lets make food
CA: im good at that!
CG: SURE YOU ARE.
They make some random food together, although they had a hard time because both of them suck at cooking. Karkat decides he wants to watch another movie, and Eridan watches as well, seeing as he has nothing else to do currently. It’s South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
CG: THIS IS A GREAT MOVIE.
CA: i knoww
Suddenly, and for no reason, Karkat cuddles up to Eridan. He finds this adorable. They both fall asleep for the second time.