Archive of Our Own

“Why am I here?” Bakugo stood with his arms crossed, watching the small group gather before him in a hum of chatter. He felt the weight of Kirishima’s elbow lean against his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to see the grin plastered on the red head’s face.

“Cause it’ll be fun.” Bakugo couldn’t help a small smile from appearing. He’d been convinced to leave the dorms even though he was deep in mid term study mode. Kirishima promised him dedicated study time for the next three evenings as long as he came out to a group event. He had agreed, not knowing this would be the group, or that this would be the activity.

“What colour ball do you want?” The uninterested teenager asked dryly as Midoriya and Uraraka parted from the gathering of students, heading up to the attendant.

“Can I get one green and one pink?” Midoriya stepped up first, thanking the kid as two brightly coloured golf balls were passed over the counter. Before turning around, he reached to the right to grab two putters. He gave one putter to Uraraka, who blushed as she reached out for the pink ball.

“You’re so sweet,” she pocketed her ball before grabbing a score pad and pencil.

“I’ll take an orange one,” Kendo stepped up next.

“I’ll do a black one,” Mina went next.

Where the two boys stood near the back of the lobby, Kaminari hopped up, wrapping his arms around Bakugo and Kirishima’s shoulders, forcing the two to separate slightly.

“Are we doing teams? Any bets on who will win? I put my money on Kacchan,” Kaminari squeezed Bakugo’s shoulder. Bakugo grumbled, shrugging off the blonde as he pushed his way through his classmates to step up to the counter.

“What?” Kaminari sulked, looking at Kirishima for support.

“Nothing. He’s fine,” Kirishima reassured Kaminari.

“Are we getting ramen after this?” Kaminari’s attention already moved on to the next idea.

“I’ll go with you at least if no one else does. The place around the corner got a new dish. I’ve been dying to try it!”

“Do you think they have yellow?”

“The…noodles?” Kirishima tried to keep up with Kaminari’s thought process.

“The ball.” Before Kirishima could respond, Bakugo returned holding three golf balls. He held out a red one to Kirishima, a yellow one for Kaminari, keeping an orange one for himself. Kaminari smiled so wide, Kirishima thought for a moment he would hug Bakugo. Instead he grabbed the yellow ball, running over to Jirou, who held her own bright blue ball.

“So we should do teams, right? A little friendly competition?” Mina’s voice carried over the hum of conversation.

“Yes! So who’s on what team?” Uraraka chimed in immediately. Everyone else seemed to follow suit in agreement. Bakugo and Kirishima still hung back towards the main entrance; Kirishima watching the commotion of designating teams and Bakugo trying his best to ignore the increase of excited energy filling the lobby.

Bakugo took the distracted moment to steal a glance at Kirishima. The cold weather outside meant Bakugo was still wearing a long, knit scarf, having hung up his coat with the rest of the group’s in a small room next to the front counter. Kirishima, on the other hand, had walked over from the dorms in just a beige hoodie. Bakugo was tempted to shove his cold hands under the hoodie, just to watch Kirishima squirm from the freezing touch. Before he could act on the impulsive thought, his attention was brought back to the group when he heard his name.

“How about me, Ochaco, Kiri, and Kacchan?” Midoriya spoke up. Bakugo sighed, but didn’t hate the suggestion, so kept quiet.

“No, no. I’ve got it!” Mina pulled Kendo towards herself, stepping out to grab Kirishima’s arm with her other hand, pulling him towards her and away from Bakugo. “Me and Kirishima, Kendo and Bakugo. Versus Midoriya and Ochaco, and Kyouka and Denki.”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes towards the bubbly girl. Playing mini golf was scrapping the bottom of his current interests, and Mina’s enthusiasm was pushing his desire to be here even lower. He just grumbled his disapproval, not putting up a fuss; at least he would be on Kirishima’s team. The night would not be a complete disaster.

“Not going to work, Mina. Two orange balls-“ Kendo pointed out, holding up her ball and motioning to Bakugo. “Why doesn’t Bakugo and Denki switch-“

“No!… I mean, there’s an easy solution for that.” Mina grabbed Kendo’s ball, turning to the boy behind the counter. “What else you got?” He startled at her immediate demand, fumbling with the basket of coloured balls behind him. He pulled out a white ball, handing it over to Mina, who tossed it softly at Kendo. She shrugged her shoulders, clearly not caring what colour she got.

Everyone resigned to Mina’s idea, slowly trickling in through the glass door separating the large arena of challenging holes from the lobby. Uraraka and Midoriya pulled Mina aside before she had a chance to run off. They waited for everyone to pass by before whispering intently.

“What was all that? Do you have something planned?” Uraraka said with wide eyes. Mina just smirked.

“Well, to be honest… I’m working on something. I’ve been trying to hook him up with someone since second year. I’ve only got four months left, and I’ve made a vow to make this happen before graduation.”

“Who?” Uraraka asked suspiciously.

“Bakugo,” Mina kept her voice low.

“What?!” Midoriya said loudly, turning a few heads to look back at them.

“This is my Everest…” Mina ignored Midoriya’s incredulous exclamation, her eyes glazing over as she imagined herself triumphant.

“Wait…” Uraraka held up her hand, trying to get Mina’s attention. “Who are you trying to set him up with? Not you, Mina. Please tell me…”

“Fuck, no!” Mina laughed.

“So…” Midoriya prompted.

“Kendo.” Mina’s response was met with silence. The couple blinked in unison before Mina continued. “Think about it! They’re both natural leaders, care about their friends, and are both extremely attractive. Trust me on this.”

Midoriya stifled a laugh, trying his best not to offend Mina’s determination. Uraraka elbowed him in the side.

“Mina…” Uraraka‘s soft voice was coated in concern. She snuck a glance at Midoriya, unsure what she should say. “Are you sure they want you to do this?”

“They don’t know what they want. Besides, I know what I’m doing guys. I mean, I was smart putting Kiri with us. At least if Bakugo gets too… Bakugo… then Kirishima can reign him in. This is not my first set up.” Mina shot a final smile at the pair before bounding away to join the rest of the group.

“We should tell her, right?” Uraraka’s eyebrows furrowed together. Midoriya reached over, pressing his index finger into the crease and rubbed slightly. Her concern slowly washed away, a smile reappearing as she looked up at him. She liked how much he’d grown in the two years they’d been together. There was something comforting about her being small enough to snuggle into his arms at any time of the day.

“It’s not our place. And you know what?” A smirk appear on Midoriya’s face. “Let’s watch this play out. It might be fun.” He placed his arm over Uraraka’s shoulder while they walked back to the group. Even though he and Bakugo had become far closer these past few years, Midoriya relished the thought of tormenting him, even just a little. He would spend the night watching Bakugo squirm. And he would enjoy every minute of it.

——————-

“Hey, Kendo… did you know Bakugo-“

“Dammit Mina! Shut up for two seconds! I’m trying to hit the ball and you’re so fucking distracting!” Bakugo glared back at the two girls huddled behind him. On the first hole, Mina insisted Kendo go first. After she was finished with her turn, Mina pulled her to the back of their group and started on her incessant yammering. Most of her chatter consisted of stories about Bakugo, which had been annoying him all night. Kendo always politely stood beside Mina, listening to her stories and awkwardly smiling in return. After seven holes of the same routine, Bakugo’s fuse was at its end.

“Bakugo…” Kirishima nervously patted Bakugo’s shoulder, attempting to diffuse his anger. Bakugo shrugged his shoulder up, pushing off Kirishima’s hand.

“What? She only does this when it’s my turn!” Bakugo gripped his putter, turning his knuckles white. He wished he could throw it and his ball away, and just leave, but he felt that would look too much like a tantrum. He took a deep breath, refocusing himself. Kirishima took a step back, turning to grab Mina’s shoulder, pulling her away from the starting line of the eighth hole.

“Seriously, Mina. He’s not wrong,” Kirishima whispered to Mina. She just smirked, wriggling out of his hold to step back next to Kendo.

Bakugo squared his shoulders, aiming the ball to the left edge. He took his shot while it was finally quiet. The orange ball hugged the edge, rolling evenly down the minuscule curve on the green. It bounced off the edge of a concrete triangle structure laid in the middle of the green to block the hole from the starting line, sending his ball towards the back of the green. The last knock against the edge angled the orange ball to glide slowly back towards the hole, pausing before it fell in.

“Nicely done, man!” Kirishima slapped Bakugo’s shoulder in congratulations. Bakugo smiled to himself; his fifth hole in one. With one more hole to go, he didn’t even need to play and he would still win. He stepped aside, resting his putter over his shoulder as Mina took her place.

“I guess it’s only fair if I start talking over your turn now, huh?” Bakugo smirked. Kirishima glanced his way, frowning at his childish attitude.

“Not manly, bro. Just leave it alone.” Kirishima coaxed. Bakugo threw up his free hand in surrender. He glanced over at the other team, already on the last hole. Midoriya stood with his arms around Uraraka’s waist, his head resting on her shoulder as her hand laid in his hair. Jirou was putting her ball; tongue out in concentration. Denki stood just behind her cheering her on.

“There was this one time…” Bakugo heard Mina talking as she was squaring up her shot. “…we were all exhausted from a training session Aizawa put us through. No one had eaten in hours! So Bakugo comes up with this idea to do hot pot and if it wasn’t the most delicious thing any of us had eaten-“

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bakugo interrupted her.

“I’m just talking about-“

“Me! Why? What the hell is up with you tonight?” Bakugo growled at her.

“I think it’s sweet,” Kendo smiled between them. “She’s bragging about you.”

“Why the fuck… to who?!” Bakugo let go of his putter when Kirishima grabbed for it before it could become a weapon. He tried to step in front of Bakugo, but Bakugo stepped aside to keep eye contact on Mina.

“To Kendo, you dense boy!” Mina shot back.

“Huh?” Bakugo was lost. He had never been on the same wavelength as Mina in the past, but this confused him on a whole other level.

“Bakugo, it’s sweet. She’s just bragging about her boyfriend. I like hearing…” Kendo trailed off when she realized the three 3-A students were starring at her in disbelief.

“Huh?” Bakugo said again.

“What?” Mina’s mouth was agape.

“What?! Are you two-“ Kirishima turned to face Mina, his forehead crinkling, showing his confusion.

“No!” Bakugo and Mina shouted in unison.

“I’m trying to get you interested in him,” Mina explained to Kendo, realizing she needed to lay her plan out to save herself from Bakugo’s wrath.

“Why me?” Kendo laughed quietly, taking the miscommunication in stride.

“I thought you two would make a good couple. And I’m not wrong! Once you get passed Bakugo’s temper, he really is an amazing-“

“Ashido!” Bakugo barked at her, making her jump. “You had no right to do this. I’m definitely not interested in Kendo.”

“Why? What’s the harm in trying?” Mina tried smiling to ease the thick tension growing around their group. Kirishima acted quickly, heading towards the second group as he felt he may need back up to level this argument. He was sure Midoriya would be able to help him coax Bakugo off this ledge, or at least be able to help drag him away from Mina until his anger subsided.

Bakugo shot a glance over his shoulder as Kirishima left. He took a deep inhale, trying his best to calm himself.

“I need you to leave this alone.” The anger in Bakugo’s voice had quieted.

“But you never know-“

“I know.” Bakugo stole another quick glance at Kirishima to make sure he was gone. He was still explaining their situation to Midoriya and Denki.

“She’s amazing! She’s strong… you like that right?” Mina insisted.

“I think you should drop it, Mina,” Kendo softly chimed in, placing her hand gently on Mina’s arm, only to be brushed away.

“Not the point, Mina.” Bakugo’s focus landed back on Mina.

“So what’s wrong with her?” Bakugo needed this to stop. He needed to get out of here.

“She’s… a she. She’s a girl.”

“Yes. And a fucking perfect girl. So why won’t you give it a chance?” Mina stood with her arms crossed, annoyed with Bakugo’s stubbornness. Kendo turned to face towards him, tilting her head with a smile of understanding. Bakugo sighed.

“Fuck it. Mina, I’m in love with Kirishima. So drop it.”

“You’re what?” Kirishima’s voice asked from behind him.

“No… fuck, no.” Bakugo shut his eyes tightly, vanishing the shocked look of Mina’s wide eyed face and Kendo’s smile being covered by her hands. He wanted the world to disappear. He couldn’t believe he could be so stupid. “I’m done with this night.”

Without turning around to see Kirishima, Bakugo’s boots pounded against the floor as he nearly ran towards the glass door exit. He heard it close behind him, relieved no one had followed. Taking the few steps to the outer doors, he was tempted to turn back for his jacket, realizing how biting cold the December air would be. Fuck it, he thought. I’m not risking someone coming out. He slammed his palms into the exterior door, letting the cold pierce into his skin like a thousand needles. He wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, burying his face as deep as it would go. He hoped anyone walking by him would think the pink on his face was due to the cold, not his utter embarrassment.

———————

“Hey, Bakugo!” The sole voice Bakugo did not want to hear in that moment called out from behind him. He shook his head, pushing forward through the crowded street.

Not quickly enough, however, when he felt the heavy grip of Kirishima’s hand wrapping around his wrist. The touch brought him to an immediate halt, turning around to see Kirishima’s wide smile starring at him, holding up his black jacket.

“You forgot this,” Kirishima said. Bakugo reached for it, grabbing harshly and pulling. Kirishima didn’t let go, essentially tethering Bakugo to him.

“You love me?” Bakugo couldn’t tell by Kirishima’s tone if he was disgusted or concerned. Disgusted that he was loved by him, or concerned that he would have to ruin their friendship by rejecting him.

“Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair. I just said that to get her off my back.” Bakugo tried to backtrack the last twenty minutes. Just make this go away, he thought.

“Oh.” Kirishima dropped his hold on the jacket. He stood watching Bakugo’s face, as if looking for the lie.

“Yeah…”

“Why did you say my name?” Kirishima’s voice seemed loud, even above the bustle of people around them.

“Huh?” Bakugo wanted to pretend nothing was said at all. He wanted to erase this night from existence and start over. He screwed up and he fucking hated it when he screwed up. The rare times it would happen. Once. This one time. He’d only ever screwed up once and this was it and it felt disgraceful and he-

“You could have said anyone’s name if it was a lie. You could have said Uraraka. Denki… fucking Midoriya. So why me?” Kirishima snapped Bakugo out of his spiral, bringing his attention back to the boy in front of him. Fuck, why didn’t he lie? Why did he say Kirishima’s name?

“I don’t know! You’re the first name I thought about, okay? You’re the first…person I think about.” No! Why? Bakugo kicked the back of his leg with his steel toed boot. His calf started to throb.

“What does that mean?” Concern. It wasn’t disgust. It was concern. Kirishima was going to never speak to him again.

“I’m cold and I want to go home.”

“Bakugo!” He said his name the way he always said his name. It sounded like a smile. His smile. Bright, sweet, genuine.

“Just… walk home with me, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, Bakugo turned to slowly start walking back to the dorms.

“I’m just going to text Denki.” As Kirishima pulled out his phone, Bakugo paused, turning back to watch him looking down as he frantically typed out a message. His hair wasn’t spiked up tonight. It rarely was anymore. Only when he wore his hero costume. A few strands fell in front of his face so when he looked back up, Kirishima had to tuck his hair behind his ear. He shoved his phone in his back pocket, jogging the few steps towards Bakugo. They found their stride easily, walking back in the cold in silence. Bakugo still held his jacket between them with an excruciatingly tight grip of his hand.

—————

Bakugo expected Kirishima to depart from him after the entered the large front door of their dorm; whether he was distracted by the kitchen, the common room, or just found someone new to talk to. The common area was quieter than normal, as a large portion of the chaotic classmates were left back playing mini golf, most likely dissecting the embarrassing display Bakugo presented before escaping to protect his sanity.

Sero and Momo were having a subdued conversation in the common room, but to Bakugo’s surprise, Kirishima only waved hello to them both rather than breaking away to join their chat. Instead, he followed Bakugo to the elevator, waiting behind him in a comfortable silence. Bakugo would have rather been alone; left to wallow as his despair ate away at him. Alone he would have torturously replayed back the moment he heard Kirishima’s voice behind him. He would have imagined any other scenario where he hadn’t been so fucking honest with Mina. He would have rather played along with Mina’s ridiculous and annoying plan to hook him up with Kendo than live a moment where he blurted out his actual feelings. But in this moment, alone in the elevator with Kirishima, the knot in his chest loosened. The warmth from Kirishima’s company hugged him. Bakugo felt oddly comforted in this moment rather than shamed. In the silence of the enclosed space, alone with Kirishima and no prying eyes to their conversation, he had an urge to speak. To let everything he felt tumble out. He knew if he opened his mouth, he wouldn’t stop. He wanted to confess. And to hear those same words from Kirishima. But there was a fear he’d never felt, even in battle while facing down firepower outside of his comfort zone; villains larger than life itself. It was just words. Just say it. As Bakugo opened his mouth, the elevator doors slid open.

“Sorry tonight was kind of a mess.” Kirishima’s voice startled Bakugo. The red head walked out first, heading quickly for his door. Bakugo took a few long strides to catch up to him. They both paused outside Bakugo’s door. There was a pulling in Bakugo’s chest; his own will attempting to force him to speak. Instead they stood in another silence. Bakugo thought for a moment that Kirishima was waiting for him to speak. When the silence carried on, Kirishima turned, walking the few paces to stand in front of his own door. Bakugo couldn’t look at him. But he also couldn’t leave. He stood in the hallway, starring at the plain, wooden door, his hand gripping the round knob. His knuckles turned white and he finally spoke.

“You’re kind to everyone you know. You’re genuine…and you try. You try to make people feel comfortable, to make people smile. You’re strong. And determined. You’ve never tried to change me… and that’s pretty rare. You…” Bakugo cleared his throat. “I do love you.”

Bakugo turned the knob, opening his door and disappearing into the darkness, leaving Kirishima alone in the hallway.

——————-

The large oak table was strewn with open textbooks, a few notepads, pens and highlighters thrown haphazardly amongst the books, and Bakugo’s laptop. The table was long enough to house eight students, yet Bakugo found himself pleasantly alone. The library was spacious; the rows of tables were more often than not accompanied by stressed out students studying for exams, or trying to find a quiet place to write assignments. Bakugo was engrossed in the former, while also utilizing the quiet area as a safe space from his classmates. Or so he thought.

A puff of green hair entered, wearing a white hoodie and multicoloured knit scarf. The corners of Bakugo’s mouth turned upwards involuntarily as he thought of Inko Mindoriya pushing the hand made, All Might coloured scarf into Deku’s hands as he boarded the train heading to school. Or maybe sneaking it in to his suitcase. Or mailing it as soon as the first snow fell.

Midoriya beelined directly to Bakugo’s table, quickly sliding into the wooden chair across from him, propping his elbows on top of a few loose, blank papers. The smile on the freckled face starring at him made Bakugo’s scowl reappear. He knew what Midoriya would want to talk about. And this was the exact reason Bakugo was hiding in the library.

“You know what I’m going to ask,” Midoriya said, flattening his palms on the table, disturbing more of Bakugo’s study notes.

“Fuck off, Deku,” Bakugo growled in response.

“Shhhhhh.” A sharp shush carried across the library from a few tables down. Both Bakugo and Midoriya glared in the general direction. Midoriya lowered his voice to a whisper.

“Are you guys dating now?” His smile made Bakugo want to punch him.

“What are you talking about?” Bakugo also kept his voice to a whisper, mainly due to the nature of their conversation; he didn’t want anyone prying further into his life.

“Umm… last night, Kacchan. We were all there. You said-“

“I know what I said!” Bakugo shut his mouth quickly, pausing while he waited for the criticism of his volume to return. He leaned lower to the table, Midoriya mimicking his action. “I was…joking.”

“Joking?” Midoriya frowned. “Bullshit.”

“What the fuck, nerd? Like you know anything-“

“Kacchan, it wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a lie. Come on, it’s me. Talk to me.” Midoriya’s leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms and waiting for Bakugo to speak. Instead, Bakugo sat frozen in place, still leaning forward over the last three hours of work messily placed before him. It was chaos. He felt his life falling into chaos and he didn’t like it. He sighed, dropping his chin to his chest as he leaned back as well.

“Whatever, Izuku. It’s nothing. It… it’s pointless. It’s-“

“How you feel,” Midoriya quietly interrupted.

“What do you know about what I feel?” Bakugo was getting annoyed. He didn’t want to talk about last night. He avoided the common room this morning while everyone was having breakfast. He shoved as much study notes as he could grab and his laptop into a bag, charging through the lobby and across the field until he reached the library in peace. He had not seen Kirishima since he closed his door last night, leaving him standing in the hallway. There wasn’t a slew of texts from him this morning. No sign of him in the dorms. He most likely carried on with his usual routine, so Bakugo would pay no mind to him either. They could continue as if nothing was said last night. Bakugo didn’t care. He swore to himself he didn’t care

“I’ve known you almost your whole life,” Midoriya’s voice snapped Bakugo back to the present. “I’d like to think I know a bit about you. And I’d like to think that the way you are with Kirishima… the way you look at him, and talk with him, and act around him… it’s more than just friends. There’s something about him that brings out something wonderful in you.”

“You’re being sappy. It’s disgusting.”

“You love him.”

“So what?” Without an immediate denial, Midoriya‘s smile widen twice as much. Bakugo’s frown deepened. He sighed, resigning himself to the conversation.

“Kacchan-“

“I told him last night. After we got back to the dorms. I told him. I outright confessed to him. And he didn’t say anything. He just stood there. And he hasn’t said anything since. So I think the answer is pretty clear. He doesn’t feel the same way. So I’m done. I’m over it.”

“You’re over what? Loving him?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Sure it is. I’ve ignored it for nearly two years. What’s a few more months?”

“Give it time, Kacchan. He may just need to adjust to the idea that his best friend is in love with him,” Midoriya said as he started to sort through the loose papers on the table, making small stacks.

“Stop it!” Bakugo swatted Midoriya’s hands away from tidying. He let out a long, slow sigh. “Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to tell me he would never in a million years think about me-“

“Fuck that.” Bakugo froze in place, starring blankly at Midoriya. He was not accustomed to Midoriya swearing; it always put him off his rhythm every time he did. “He loves you, Kacchan. Give him time to show you.”

“What do I do in the meanwhile?” Bakugo slapped Midoriya’s busying hands one final time. Midoriya shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket, stopping himself from sorting through Bakugo’s work.

“Nothing.”

“Sounds tantalizing.”

“I mean nothing different. Go to class. Study. Go to work. Hang out. You’ll be fine.” Midoriya stood up, rewrapping the scarf tighter around his neck.

“Where are you going?” Bakugo asked.

“Some of the girls are going shopping for our gift exchange. They asked me to go with them.”

“Shit,” Bakugo mumbled.

“You forgot.” It wasn’t a question.

“No… well, yes. When is it again?” Bakugo slunk into his chair, resting his head on the hard back.

“The first Saturday of winter break. So… next week.” Midoriya watched Bakugo squint his eyes closed in annoyance. He sighed, not surprised. “Who do you have?”

“Yaoyorozu,” Bakugo mumbled.

“Easy! She’s been wanting to try this exclusive tea that Equator is getting in for the season. It’s a jasmine tea…” Midoriya trailed off as he watched Bakugo’s eyes look up at him, silently pleading.

“Do you think-“ Bakugo started.

“Fine. I’ll buy it. You owe me. And I’m not wrapping it.” Midoriya turned to leave the library without waiting for the smug smile to appear on Bakugo’s lips.

——————

Uraraka, Jirou, and Tsu walked a few paces in front of Midoriya as he carried the few bags they’d accumulated. They had almost completed their outing, except for one more stop for Tsu to get a stuffed elephant for her younger sister and Midoriya still needed to get the tea for Bakugo. He reached his hand out for Uraraka’s, lightly touching her palm to grab her attention. As she spun around, the bright smile on her face widened as she saw someone behind him. He stopped himself from speaking when he saw her waving above his head.

“Kirishima! What are you doing here?” Midoriya noticed the glimmer in her eye that he knew all too well. This was the first moment they had seen Kirishima since watching him run out after Bakugo last night. He knew Uraraka would start her line of questioning and in his attempt to protect Bakugo’s semblance of sanity, Midoriya waved the other two girls off, mouthing to them that they would catch up later.

“I think the same thing you guys are… gift exchange.” Kirishima explained while holding up a bag, showcasing his successful trip.

“By yourself?” Uraraka prodded.

“Nope!” Kirishima motioned behind him to no one in particular. “Denki’s here…somewhere. He’s having a hard time picking the perfect gift.”

“Right. He has Jirou, doesn’t he?” Uraraka asked, an air of sympathy in her tone as she assumed Denki’s struggle in finding the perfect gift.

“How do you know that?” Midoriya asked.

“I know who everyone has,” she smiled coyly.

“Oh really? Who do I have?” Kirishima tested, playfully jabbing her shoulder.

“Sato. Midoriya has Tsu. Tsu has Bakugo. Bakugo has Momo. Momo-“

“Got it! Say no more,” Midoriya grabbed her hands to stop her from ticking off her fingers one by one as she flexed her prowess.

“Did you just ask Mina?” Kirishima laughed. Uraraka pouted, looking anywhere else than at the two boys.

“No…” she mumbled. “Fine! I just wanted to know who had me!”

“That’s not the point,” Midoriya sighed, happy they had been able to avoid the elephant in the room.

“So, Kirishima!” In that moment, Midoriya knew he had spoke too soon. Uraraka stepped closer to Kirishima. “What happened after you guys left last night?”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima was either playing coy, or genuinely didn’t know what she was referring to.

“I mean, you ran after Bakugo. After he… you know. Said that he-“

“No!” Kirishima smiled widely, waving both his hands as if brushing away her thoughts. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. He wasn’t serious. He just was so annoyed at Mina.”

“Well, what about after? Back at the dorm?” Midoriya regretted telling Uraraka about his conversation with Bakugo in the library. He should have known she would try to force the issue.

“What are you talking about Uraraka? Do you know something I don’t?” Kirishima stared blankly at the two.

“I sure hope not,” Uraraka sighed as Midoriya rested his hand on her shoulder.

“Kirishima, did Bakugo say anything to you when you guys got back to the dorms?” Midoriya prompted.

“Not really.” Midoriya shot a quick look at Uraraka as Kirishima pensively reminisced about the last eighteen hours. “We pretty much walked back to the dorms in silence. He was pretty pissed, after all. Rightfully so. But I guess he felt kind of shitty after. He was oddly nice to me right before he went into his room. Saying how kind I am to others. Guess he was talking about me being too lax with Mina about the whole Kendo thing. I can’t blame her though. She had good intentions-“

“Kirishima,” Midoriya interrupted the stream of consciousness pouring from Kirishima. He placed a hand on Kirishima’s arm, focussing him on the couple. Both Uraraka and Midoriya looked seriously at Kirishima, who starred back wide eyed.

“Did Bakugo say…” Uraraka looked at Midoriya to make sure she should go ahead. Without any resistance, she continued. “…say ‘I love you’?”

“Yeah.” Kirishima agreed as if this was not revolutionary news in his life. Confusion flooded Midoriya and Uraraka; they froze in place, unsure how to continue their prying. “But I’m his best friend right? It would be totally unmanly if he didn’t… oh, well, that’s not to say Midoriya that you’re not his best friend too. I mean…oh… that wasn’t cool of me.” Kirishima’s hand reached to the back of his neck, a sign to Midoriya he felt insecure.

“No, it’s fine,” Midoriya waved off the apology. He needed to get back on track. “You don’t think-”

“Midoriya, don’t worry. I’m not freaked out by what he said last night. I mean, he’s my best bro. I love him too, you know? And if saying that gets Mina off his back, I’m fine with it. It’s no big deal you guys.”

“But-“ Midoriya rested his hand on Uraraka’s shoulder when she started to speak. She looked up at him to see him grinning, eyes nearly closed. He looked back at Kirishima.

“Totally right, Kirishima.”

“This conversation is getting weird,” Kirishima laughed nervously.

“Yes it is. So we’re going to catch up to Tsu and Jirou. Wish Denki good luck in his gift search. Tell him he’s overthinking it.” Midoriya and Uraraka turned to walk away.

“Doubtful!” Kirishima laughed again, waving goodbye as he headed back to find a guaranteed panicking Denki.

—————

Midoriya walked into Bakugo’s room without knocking. Bakugo lay on his bed, his laptop propped on his knees, watching a boring romance anime, resigned to finishing it since he was already 10 episodes in. Bakugo glared at Midoriya until a small handle bag was dropped on Bakugo’s desk, his face relaxing with gratitude. Neither one of them spoke, but Midoriya knew Bakugo was relieved.

As Midoriya turned, his hand already holding the door knob to close the door, he paused.

“You’re in love with an idiot,” Midoriya said quietly.

“I know,” Bakugo sighed.

——————

Bakugo mourned the completion of midterms. Without the distraction of studying, or training, or going to work, he could only avoid his classmates by locking himself in his room. And he was becoming stir crazy. He’d finished all his new manga and had no desire to start a new show before going home for a week in a couple of days. He knew he would have to socialize that afternoon; the energy of holiday spirit had been flooding the dorm for the past four hours as his classmates set up the common room for their gift exchange.

He looked over at the perfectly wrapped cube on his desk. He borrowed wrapping paper from Midoriya; a green paper with red poinsettias splashed randomly throughout. He put a gold bow on top and scrawled Yaoyorozu’s name on a tag. He was proud of the clean lines of his wrapping. He thought for a moment how Yaoyorozu might appreciate the precision in his wrapping, but then also realized she would praise even the worst wrapped gift for doing a great job. He grimaced at himself, wondering for a moment why he put so much care into a gift for her. Then shrugged his shoulders as he picked up the box. Not that much care, he thought as he opened the door to leave. I didn’t even pick out the gift.

He opened his door to head down to the gathering, nearly tripping over a small box on the floor; if the awkward shape could be classified as a box. It was square in nature, but the red wrapping paper around had clumped in odd places, forming bunches that stuck out of the sides. Tape secured the paper together in what Bakugo could only characterize as a desperate attempt. Some pieces were too long, stretching over the whole side of the box, but others were short, layered on top of each other to create a thick bulge of adhesive. He picked up the box, just small enough he could hold it with one hand, his finger spread wide around it. There was no tag, nothing to say who it was from, or that it was even for him. It had a bit of weight to it, so there was definitely something inside. Was this a gift for him? He thought Midoriya explained they would all hand out their gifts together. He tossed it back into his room, softly landing on his bed with a bounce. Whatever it was, he’d deal with it after the party.

———————————

In spite of Ida’s best efforts to keep the common area clean, wrapping paper was strewn over the floor, table, and chairs. Any bow from gifts had ended up being stuck to Aoyama, who resigned quickly enough to the trend. Bakugo sat on the couch beside Denki, with Sero on the other end. He slouched down, his head resting on the back of the couch, realizing he still wore the stupid Santa hat someone shoved on his head the moment he entered the common room. He couldn’t remember if it was Uraraka or Tsu that put it on him this year. It wasn’t Mina as she was still avoiding him. He lazily pulled the hat off his head, dropping in on the floor beside him. He closed his eyes, every ounce of his social energy had faded away. Bakugo had become so used to holing up in his room for the past week he had forgotten how obnoxious everyone could be when they got together.

“You’ll have to join! Tetsu and I were going to try to meet up there over winter break.” Bakugo heard Kirishima’s voice excitedly talking to someone. He didn’t care who. He hadn’t heard Kirishima’s voice since before he confessed to him. He’d been avoiding his friend like the plague; planning when to eat and bathe based on when he knew Kirishima would be out of the dorms. He’d seen him a couple times in passing as he ran out the door to hide away in the library. During exams, he showed up just as the papers hit the desk, and left as soon as he finished; always before Kirishima.

But now, sitting in the same room as him, watching Kirishima’s face light up as he opened his gift, seeing him get excited to see what everyone else got, listening to his voice, Bakugo’s heart sunk. He hated the feelings coursing through him. Yearning. Hopelessness. Defeat. It sickened him. But he still couldn’t stop his eyes from watching Kirishima, noticing where he was as he moved throughout the groupings of classmates. He still picked up on his voice, carrying over the hum of multiple conversations.

“Do you like the gloves?” Bakugo smiled, his eyes still closed, as he heard Kirishima’s voice clearer than ever. No. Clearer because he was close. So close. In front of him. Talking to him. Bakugo’s eyes shot open, seeing Kirishima sitting on the armrest of the couch, looking down at Bakugo with a huge, cheerful grin on his face.

“What?” Bakugo didn’t mean for the question to come out as a growl, and was thankful when Kirishima just brushed his tone away without offence. Like he always did.

“Your gift,” Kirishima said, motioning towards Bakugo’s hands. Tsu had given him a pair of black gloves with a simple, minimalistic All Might logo design embroidered into the fabric. He had put them on after the attention had left him to land on the next gift opener.

“Yeah. They’re warm.” Bakugo didn’t know what else to say. I love you. His own voice echoed in his head. He shut his lips tighter, worried for a moment that he might accidentally speak the words tumbling around his mind.

“They’re awesome, bro! I’m happy you like them.” Kirishima smiled at Bakugo, turning his attention to Denki. I love you. Bakugo shut his eyes again, tuning out the world around him and trying his best to silence his own mind.

He was startled when he felt the couch shifting, Kirishima’s weight flopping on to all three boys. His feet kicked up onto Sero, Denki hugging his waist as his head fell into Bakugo’s lap. It wasn’t uncommon to find the four of them piled on the couch in some formation. Bakugo kept his eyes closed, his head resting against the back of the couch again. He listened to Kirishima and Denki chatter away, feeling calm in the familiarity.

“Hey, Kiri, are you going home during the break?” Denki’s question peaked Bakugo’s attention.

“No. My moms have gone to Thailand until January. They came by just before midterms to hang out with me for a bit. So, no one’s at home. Kind of pointless to head all the way back. I’ll just crash at the dorms.”

“Yeah, I think Sato and Ojirou are both staying too.” Sero chimed in.

Bakugo heard Kirishima yawn. He couldn’t help the smile from briefly appearing. He prayed no one noticed.

——————-

Bakugo was trapped under a sleeping Kirishima. After the excitement of the afternoon wore off and people started dividing off into their own groupings, Denki, Sero, and Kirishima all fell asleep on the couch. Bakugo could have disrupted the group by getting up and escaping to his room, but they were actually quiet for once, granted unconscious, but quiet nonetheless, so he resounded to sitting here in silence.

Bakugo heard Midoriya’s footsteps behind him, ill prepared to fend off his hand slapping down on Bakugo’s head, rubbing his hair. Bakugo could only swat him away, grimacing at Midoriya as he walked around the front of the couch to perch on the coffee table.

“Fuck off, Izuku,” Bakugo whispered.

“You guys are so sweet,” Midoriya whispered back, tilting his head slightly as he smiled at Bakugo.

“Yeah. Adorable. I’m literally imprisoned. What the fuck do you want?”

“Are you taking the train home for the winter break? Uraraka and I are going to my mom’s first, so I wanted to know if you wanted to take the train with us?” Midoriya kept his voice low.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? Are you staying here?”

“I might,” Bakugo said. His glance quickly landed on Kirishima’s sleeping head, nestled in his lap, before shooting back up to focus on Midoriya.

“What’s Mitsuki going to say about that?”

“I’ll tell dad. He’ll smooth it over for me.” Bakugo brushed off any thought of upsetting his mother. It would be nothing he hasn’t dealt with before.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to be by yourself? That’s a bit lonely. We could stay too.” Midoriya offered.

“Hey, nerd. It’s cool. I won’t be alone.” Bakugo smiled. He cleared his throat, forcing his lips back to a frown. “Sato and Ojirou will be here,” he added.

“And Kirishima,” Denki’s groggy voice chimed in beside Bakugo. His eyes were still closed; he was unmoved aside from his mouth.

“Oh.” Midoriya smiled knowingly.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Bakugo shot at Midoriya. “And I thought you were asleep,” he directed at Denki with a glare.

“I am,” Denki mumbled in response.

“Are you officially going to tell him?” Midoriya brought Bakugo’s focus back to him.

“Tell him what, Deku?”

“That you love him,” Denki chimed again.
Bakugo glared at Denki, turning back to see Midoriya smiling and nodding in agreement.

“I fucking did! I already did. It didn’t work out. Kirishima doesn’t love me back. End of story. We’re all moving on and never speaking of this again.” Bakugo forced every ounce of his anger down so as not to yell and wake up Kirishima. The heavy breaths indicated Kirishima was still in a deep sleep.

“Bullshit.” Midoriya said. Denki stayed motionless. Bakugo couldn’t tell if he’d fallen back asleep.

“Then why hasn’t he told me yet?”

“I think, maybe, he doesn’t believe it himself. He doesn’t see your true meaning. He just thinks…that you think… it’s platonic? I don’t know, Kacchan. But I know he does love you. I can just feel it.” Midoriya leaned forward towards Bakugo, urging him to believe him.

“Well it doesn’t matter what you ‘feel’. He hasn’t said anything to me yet. So it’s moot. We’re just friends and I’ve come to terms with that.” Bakugo crossed his arms, careful not to bump Kirishima’s head.

“I think you need to try again. Really show him how you feel,” Midoriya urged.

“Drop it, Deku. We’re just friends,” Bakugo grumbled.

“And you’re staying over winter break to hang out with him…as friends?” Midoriya shot a suspicious look at Bakugo.

“Yes,” Bakugo snapped.

“Okay, Katsuki.”

“Go away, Izuku.”

“Will do.” With that, Midoriya stood, patting Bakugo twice in the shoulder. Bakugo flinched under the sympathetic pats, watching Midoriya exit the common area. He was once again alone with his thoughts, except now Midoriya’s voice wormed his way intrusively inside.

How the fuck do I show him? With that single question, Bakugo knew he hadn’t given up.

————————

The last day before everyone left for winter break, minus the four boys staying behind, was absolute chaos. Bakugo kept his door closed, not even chancing an exit for food, in case of being swaddled in the constant train of goodbye hugs. Did these idiots not realize they would see each other again in one week?

As loud as the noise had peaked, in an instant, it was quiet again. Nearly deafening. Bakugo lay in his bed, watching the sun set through the blinds. He debated what to make himself for dinner; kotsudon or ramen.

Bakugo didn’t realize he was anticipating an interruption until none came. His disappointment that there was no knock on his door infuriated him. He expected Kirishima to bug him about their plans for the week. To ask him to make him dinner. Or even to ask him to go to the gym. But why would he. Thinking back since before their gift exchange, even before midterms, Kirishima hadn’t spoken to him since he confessed. Bakugo closed his eyes tightly, disgusted by the pain in his chest.

Fine. Kirishima wasn’t going to bug him to hang out. Bakugo was fine with it. He pushed himself off his bed. He didn’t need to see Kirishima this week. It’s not like he didn’t go home so they could finally spend time together. He was just trying to avoid his mom. Bakugo knew he was lying to himself.

He ate dinner that night alone in his room.

—————

Bakugo left his room early the next morning. He decided if Kirishima was going to avoid him, he wouldn’t make it easy. Bakugo would do whatever he wanted this week, and if Kirishima didn’t like it, he could hide out in his own room.

He made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a pan and a few eggs to start making his breakfast. The kettle was already close to boiling, indicating to Bakugo someone else was awake. He focussed on slowly whisking the eggs in the pan when a cheery voice interrupted his internal grumbling.

“Bakugo!” Kirishima entered the kitchen, his hair was wet, clinging to his forehead, and a white towel was bunched around his neck. He was shirtless and barefoot, only wearing a loose pair of grey sweatpants. Bakugo was startled to see him awake so early. He looked back at the pan, grunting a greeting in acknowledgment.

Kirishima filled up his cup with the boiling water from the kettle, holding the brewing tea in one hand as he wrapped his other arm around Bakugo’s shoulders.

“I didn’t know you were staying! I thought you left yesterday, bro!” Kirishima peeked over Bakugo to look at his breakfast, mid scramble. He moaned softly. “Looks good…”

Bakugo turned his head slightly, smelling the soap on Kirishima’s skin. He sighed, resigning to himself that half of his breakfast would be shared.

“Do you want some?” Bakugo offered, not caring what the response would be as he moved out from under Kirishima’s arm to grab two plates.

“No…it’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Kirishima said as he was aggressively handed half the slices of the rolled omelette from Bakugo. They both took a seat side by side, Bakugo focussing more intently on his food than he ever had before. After a few moments of silence, he was left pushing around a final morsel of egg, not wanting to finish as that meant he would need to leave the table.

“Thanks for giving me some of your breakfast, Bakugo. I could have-“

“Don’t mention it,” Bakugo grumbled.

“I really didn’t know you were staying. Don’t be mad.” Bakugo heard a hint of guilt in Kirishima’s voice. He shot his head up, looking at Kirishima straight on.

“What are you talking about, dumbass?” Bakugo bit his tongue, regretting his harsh tone.

“You’re pissed at me about something, right? I would have invited you to the gym this morning, but I didn’t know-“

“Kirishima!” Bakugo interrupted. “I’m not pissed you didn’t invite me to the gym. I’m not pissed you didn’t know I was here… no, wait. How did you NOT know I was here?”

“You’ve been saying for a month how you were going home for the break. ‘Happy to not have to look at you extras for seven days,’ is how you put it, I believe.” Kirishima’s hand rubbed the back of his neck. Bakugo looked away. He did remember saying that. “And I didn’t see you at all last night after everyone left.”

“Well, there was a change of plans.”

“That’s awesome! Same with me. I didn’t know I would be staying until just before midterms.” Kirishima laughed.

“Right.” Bakugo sighed. He was annoyed with himself. He had put his heart on his sleeve when he confessed how he felt. And whether he wasn’t clear and Kirishima didn’t understand how he truly felt, or if Kirishima didn’t feel the same way and was just being too kind to reject him, didn’t matter. Either way he had failed. He never failed.

“Did you see the gift Uraraka got Midoriya?” Kirishima snapped Bakugo out of his internal turmoil as he cleared their plates. Bakugo turned around in his seat, following Kirishima’s movements as he dropped their dishes into the sink. He walked back, tossling his damp hair with the towel still draped over his shoulders. He perched on the table, facing Bakugo.

“No. She didn’t get him a gift. Someone else had him. Umm…” Bakugo tried thinking back to the other night, realizing he hadn’t paid attention to anyone else’s gift exchange. He had spent the entire night focussing on Kirishima; noticing his reaction to their classmates opening gifts, laughing when Denki would crack a joke, helping Iida clean up when he clearly got stressed over the chaotic nature of the group. But he was certain Deku got a gift from Sero. Maybe Shoji.

“Mina had him for the exchange. But Uraraka still got him a gift. You know…” Kirishima trailed off, avoiding eye contact with Bakugo.

“Cause she’s a sentimental sucker?” Bakugo scoffed.

“Cause she loves him. You know? Like, she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to give him something as a way to show him she loves him.” Bakugo could hear the smile in Kirishima’s voice. He thought her actions were sweet. Bakugo thought it was pointless.

“Now you’re a sentimental sucker,” Bakugo chuckled. Kirishima finally looked back at him. Bakugo’s heart caught in his throat when he saw Kirishima’s smile.

“Yeah. I definitely am.” Kirishima slapped Bakugo’s shoulder, ready to change the subject. “What are you doing today? I was just going to laze around; do absolutely nothing and not feel bad about it. You in?”

Bakugo stood, feeling for a moment they could go back to normal.

“I’m in. Just let me get dressed and I’ll meet you down here.” Bakugo headed towards the elevator as Kirishima made his way to the couches. Bakugo paused, turning back slightly. “What did she get him?”

Kirishima stopped in confusion, not sure what Bakugo was asking.

“Uraraka. What did she get Deku?” Bakugo clarified.

“She made him a knitted All Might doll,” Kirishima answered before disappearing into the common room.

“Fuck. That’s good,” Bakugo mumbled to himself. Should he get Kirishima a gift? Bakugo watched the elevator doors slide shut slowly, thinking of the look of Kirishima’s face as he recalled Uraraka’s gift. She wanted to show Deku she loved him. Bakugo could do that. Bakugo could get him the best gift. He still had time. He would show him he loved him. He would make his feelings so apparent that even a dumbass like Kirishima would understand.

——————

Kirishima had started a show with Mina that he insisted he would not fall behind on. When Bakugo walked into the common room, Kirishima was pressing play, already underneath a layer of blankets.

“Thanks for not waiting, Shitty Hair.” Bakugo lightly slapped Kirishima over the head as he passed behind him.

“Hey, this was my plan today. You’re joining me. And I’ve got to get through this. Mina doesn’t know I’m a few episodes behind her,” Kirishima moved over as Bakugo flopped on the couch, kicking his legs up to rest on Kirishima’s lap.

“How far behind are you?” Bakugo reached over to the table to grab a bag of popcorn he assumed Kirishima brought from the kitchen.

“I’m on episode two.”

“How many do you need to catch up on?”

“The last one came out last night” Kirishima grimaced. “So… like, eleven? I feel terrible! With work at FatGum’s, and midterm studying, I didn’t have time to watch any. But I knew I could catch up now so I just kept lying to her… saying I’ve been watching. So I have to get through it. If you don’t want to watch with me-“

“Shut it, dumbass. I’m watching with you, okay?” Bakugo turned his attention to the tv. An incredibly hot, dark haired boy stood under a store awning as it rained outside. “What is it about?”

“That’s Jung. He just transferred to this prestigious school and is trying to focus on his career path, and met Minko on his first day, but was terrible to her because he thinks she’s stuck up and out of his league. But she’s not like that at all, and he’s starting to fall in love with her, but she now thinks that he’s an ass, and everything he tries to do comes off an insincere.” Kirishima rambled on quickly, stealing glances at Bakugo to see his reaction.

Bakugo kept his attention on the screen, nodding at Kirishima’s explanation. He wiggled his way further into the couch, lying low enough that his head could lean back on the armrest. He reached over to Kirishima, pulling the blanket over his legs and opening the bag of popcorn.

“Sounds interesting. Let’s crush it.”

——————

“Why couldn’t you just tell me?”
“Because you hated me.”
“I never hated you, Jung. I actually-“
“Yes?”
“Nothing.”
“No, it’s not. How can it be nothing? Your feelings…who you are Minko…is never nothing. You’re everything. You’re everything to me.”

After nine hours of binging, Bakugo found himself completely invested in the show. Seated beside Kirishima, he was leaning forward with his elbows perched on his knees, his hands covering his mouth in disbelief.

“Oh man.” Bakugo heard Kirishima mumble beside him. Kirishima was leaned back, his legs resting on the table in front of them, with his arms outstretched over the back of the couch. Bakugo turned his head to see Kirishima’s eyes glistening.

“Seriously,” Bakugo groaned. “Can he just say it already?”

“Can’t she just see that’s what he’s trying to say? My god! I thought she was smart. He can’t be any more obvious!” Kirishima didn’t want to admit how wrapped up he was in the story, but Mina was right. He would cry. And this would be the first time he lost a bet to her.

“Minko. I need to tell you something. That first day, when I-“ Jung was cut off as another dark haired boy stepped between them, addressing the girl with urgency.
“Minko, we’ll be late for the committee meeting. Let’s go.”

“Fuck off Hyun!” Bakugo yelled at the tv as the chances of the main character finally confessing were dashed away.

“Wait, that’s not it, is it?” Kirishima sat stunned, watching Minko following Hyun down the school hallway, his hand wrapped around her wrist as she looked back confused at a disheartened Jung. The screen faded to black and reset to the homepage of their streaming service.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding. There has to be one more episode,” Bakugo reached for his phone to look up an episode guide.

“That was episode 12. That’s it.” Kirishima said, dejected by the lacklustre finale. Bakugo tossed his phone on the other side of the couch, realizing in that moment how close he had moved to Kirishima over their hours of vegging. Without his attention glued to the tv, he was suddenly acutely aware of their proximity; his thigh pressing against Kirishima’s. He quickly stood up, but with no plan of where to go, he just stood awkwardly.

“Shitty though. I mean, he was finally going to confess. Like actually say he loved her. That would have been so manly.” Kirishima said, still seated and seemingly unbothered by Bakugo’s bizarre movement.

“Yeah. Like she would have noticed, though,” Bakugo mumbled.

“Huh?” Kirishima, oblivious, looked at the back of Bakugo’s head. Bakugo sighed, flopping back down to his lying position he had claimed when they first begun their marathon.

“Nothing. It’s just…he may have said I love you, but do you really think she would have believed him? Or just brush it off like ‘that’s so unlike you, Jung’.” Bakugo grumbled, crossing his arms as he pouted.

“I mean, from her perspective, yeah, it’s unlike him. But I doubt she would brush it off,” Kirishima defended.

“Oh really? I guarantee you had he actually said it, she would have said nothing back. And just pretended he didn’t say anything at all.”

“Maybe,” Kirishima looked away from Bakugo. “Maybe she wouldn’t say it back. Maybe she would just want things to stay the way they are because they were just getting to a spot in their friendship where they understood each other and she didn’t want to complicate it. And… maybe she wanted things to stay the same so that she didn’t have to face her own feelings. She didn’t have to admit that she loved him back. Because then what happens? How does she get the courage to say it back? To end their friendship. And maybe start something that doesn’t work.”

Bakugo sat up, starring at Kirishima as he spoke. When silence fell over them, he took a pause before speaking.

“She’s… perfect for him. It’s because they’re such good friends that they are perfect for each other. Admitting she loves him shouldn’t be that hard, right?” Bakugo felt safe talking about the characters they’d become so invested in. He didn’t feel awkward or annoyed as when he had tried talking about his own feelings. He could disassociate. He could just being analytical.

“Knowing it and saying it are two separate things.” Kirishima stood up, collecting the garbage and dishes that had accumulated around them.

“Yeah. But saying it does take a weight off your chest, if nothing else.” Bakugo thought there was more Kirishima was admitting in their conversation. Bakugo wanted to be subtle, even though it wasn’t his strong suit. He truly wanted to yell at Kirishima to be outright, but knew that wasn’t the reaction Kirishima needed right now.

“Sometimes it’s hard to say things.” Kirishima disappeared into the kitchen. Bakugo sat on the couch, debating his next actions. Against his will, he heard Deku’s voice nagging in his head.

“I think you need to try again. Really show him how you feel.”

“Fuck off, Deku,” Bakugo mumbled to himself. His internal debate complete, he pushed himself off the couch. Grabbing his jacket from the hooks by the front door, he pulled it on quickly as he opened the door.

“Where are you going, bro?” Kirishima yelled from the kitchen, noticing Bakugo leaving.

“Out.” Bakugo yelled back into the dorms as he shut the door heavily behind him. I’ll fucking show him if it’s the last thing I do, Bakugo stormed out into the cold, both angry and determined.

——————-

“Ow! Fuck!” Bakugo flinched after poking his finger with a needle, sucking the tip as it started to bleed. He shook his hand, moving on from the pain to continue working. He had left the dorms yesterday, making his way to the craft store in the mall. He had just enough time to grab a handful of essentials before the store closed. Although he had never tried sewing, he hoped the fabric, needle and thread, a package of stuffing, and a video tutorial would be enough to drag him through this ordeal.

He had pricked his finger enough times that he had almost thrown the needle across the room. Luckily, this being his only needle, he had stopped himself before acting on his impulsive thought. Lying on his bed, propped up by a pile of pillows, Bakugo was surrounded by strips of fabric, loose pieces of thread and his laptop playing a video that was already on step five while he was still trying to complete step two.

“Fuck this.” Bakugo dropped his current progress; three red felt triangle pieces attached together by uneven hems. He starred at the mess in front of him, a fire burning inside of him. He couldn’t tell if the feeling was frustration, or his competitive drive. He wanted to finish this, but he knew what he was making wouldn’t turn out the same as the video. It may even be completely unrecognizable. He wanted to finish it to give to Kirishima. But he also didn’t want anyone to see this atrocity and he wanted to burn the evidence of his efforts.

“Tie a knot and viola! You’re done!” The chipper voice congratulated him as it faded to black.

“Screw you,” Bakugo grumbled to the video. He rested his head back against the wall. This wasn’t supposed to be challenging. This was arts and crafts. How could he be so inept at such a simple task? How could he be failing again?

No. He couldn’t give up. He wasn’t giving up on this. He would finish this stupid stuffed toy, and give it to Kirishima. He would show him this is how much he loved him. He would do something; he would make him something that Kirishima would love. And if Kirishima didn’t say anything back this time, he was done. He wouldn’t try again. He wouldn’t keep pushing it. This was his last effort. He was going to try as hard as he could.

Bakugo sat up, replaying the video from the beginning, and continuing to sew together the triangle pieces until it resembled a long, cylinder shaped body he was expecting. Don’t give up, Bakugo coached himself. He pricked his finger again, but didn’t pause or flinch; he kept working through the pain.

——————-

It took him another hour, and two more replays of the video, but Bakugo finally tied off the last knot. He set his project on the bed in front of him. It sat upon a pile of shredded red felt and balls of stuffing. It looked misshapen. It looked a bit sad. But he didn’t care. He wanted to give this gift to Kirishima as his last effort. He would try to be extraordinarily clear in order to penetrate the rock hard brain cells of this idiot boy he loved so much.

Bakugo stood, cracking his back after his long stretch of being hunched over his work. He glanced around his room, looking for a box or bag he could use to wrap Kirishima’s gift. His eyes landed on the hazard of a present that had been forgotten on top of a pile of midterm study notes. Bakugo took the few steps to his desk, picking up the box. No one had mentioned the mystery gift during the exchange. For a moment he had thought Deku had given him something in secret, but it didn’t look like how he wrapped his gifts. Firstly, he exclusively used All Might themed wrapping paper, and secondly, he was far more obsessive about presentation. This atrocity looked like it has been thrown together in a hasty moment before being tossed on his doorstep.

Bakugo shrugged his shoulder, deciding he may as well open it now. He ripped apart the paper, tossing it casually beside his feet, to reveal a simple white box secured shut with an excessive amount of tape. Popping the tape off, he reached into the box, pulling out a clear glass grenade containing a fairly viscous red-ish orange liquid: hot sauce.

The smile on Bakugo’s lips appeared immediately. What the fuck, he thought to himself as he spun the container around in his hand. He couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him. This was perfect. Absolutely the most wonderful gift someone could have given him.

A white tag stuck out, attached to the neck of the grenade. Scrawled in blocky writing read: Merry Christmas, bro.

Bakugo turned quickly, ripping his door open with a bang. He stomped towards the elevator, pounding on the button with his fist, still holding the glass grenade in his other hand. The moments of waiting in the slow elevator to bring him to their common room didn’t temper his annoyance; in fact, he found his anger rising as he waited longer and longer.

With the slow ding of the bell, the doors inched their way open, revealing Kirishima sitting on the couch chatting with Ojirou. Fuck it, Bakugo resounded as he beelined for the pair.

“Oi! Shitty Hair. Seriously?” He held up the grenade shaped bottle, the liquid splashing around inside.

“Yeah.” Kirishima stood, walking around the other side of the couch. Bakugo saw Ojirou slouch down, avoiding eye contact with him; clearly wanting to distance himself from any potential explosion that may arise. “Do you hate it?”

“What? Hate it? Are you joking? This is the best fucking gift anyone has given me. I fucking love it, you idiot.” Bakugo couldn’t figure out why he was sounding so angry. “You got me a gift?”

“Yeah. Of course I did.” Kirishima made it seem so obvious. “Did you just open it now?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? I gave it to you four days ago.”

“I didn’t know who it was from. There was no tag. Although I should have realized it was you; it was wrapped like a toddler. But, yeah… I just kind of forgot about it.” Bakugo felt himself rambling. He was hesitating from saying what he was itching to say. He took a deep inhale, asking hurriedly as he exhaled, “Why did you get me this?”

“I saw it when Kaminari and I were shopping. And I just had to buy it for you. I thought you’d love it.” Kirishima’s hand was rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s it?” Bakugo asked, hopeful there might be another reason.

“Yeah. We’re friends…” Kirishima looked down at his feet, immensely engrossed in his black socks.

With those three words, Bakugo felt a pit in his stomach drop. His lungs emptied as he found his breath shortening. He wasn’t angry or sad; he was hopeless. His heart sank, leaving his chest feeling empty. Without acknowledging Kirishima, or providing any indication their conversation was over, Bakugo turned and made his way silently back to his room. He didn’t remember riding the elevator, or walking through the hallway, or even entering his room. He found himself suddenly in a darkened, quiet room starring at a pile of trash on his bed; a small, red, stuffed shark precariously perched on top.

He delicately placed the glass bottle on his desk beside the discarded wrapping paper and mangled box. He loved it. It was the perfect gift. But he wanted to smash it. To destroy it. To watch shards of glass impale the wall as red flowed and stained the carpet. But he knew he would never bring himself to break it. Or throw it away. Because even though it now represented Kirishima rejecting him, it still proved to him that there was someone in his life who understood him. It seemed bizarre that a trinket like this, that appeared so insignificant and trivial from the outside, could symbolize such a substantial significance for him.

He wanted to collapse, face first, onto his bed, but he needed to throw out the remnants of his efforts. He grabbed the trash can from under his desk, picking up handfuls of fabric. He placed his laptop on the nightstand. After a few brief moments, his bed was clean again, save for the small, stuffed shark. He couldn’t bring himself to throw it out. It would only be fair, having been gifted something from Kirishima, he return the favour. Although his gift would symbolize a higher degree of affection, he felt comforted in Kirishima’s dense nature that he wouldn’t pick up on it. He left his room, this time much calmer, with the shark in hand.

——————

“Here.” Bakugo stood behind the couch, where Kirishima sat once again with Ojirou, although as he approached, he sensed their conversation was much more subdued than the last time he interrupted them. He held out the stuffed shark towards Kirishima. The instant his fingers touched the small animal, Bakugo let go, leaving Kirishima struggling not to drop it.

He didn’t wait for Kirishima’s reaction. He didn’t want to risk the possibility that Kirishima would understand this insignificant gift symbolized more than he could bring himself to say; again. He gave Kirishima a small smile, hoping he wasn’t coming off as too much of an asshole, then turned to leave. In rushing to the front door, he grabbed a jacket. Only after escaping into the freezing cold did he realize it was not his jacket.

“Hey!” Bakugo heard Kirishima’s voice not far behind him. “Can you give me a second, Bakugo?”

“A second for what?” Bakugo didn’t stop, or even slow down. He couldn’t take another instance of rejection. It literally sickened him.

“You made me something. You made this! You’re amazing! I love him.” Kirishima had stopped chasing Bakugo. When Bakugo heard the praise, he stopped as well, turning to face Kirishima, who was holding up the shark, looking at it with a smile on his face. The smile that made Bakugo’s stomach drop.

“You…love him.” Bakugo’s tone was biting. It was childish, to be mad that Kirishima loved a stuffed toy, but not him. He wanted to scream at Kirishima, to rip the shark out of his hands and throw it far away. To tear it apart into shreds of fabric and stuffing. He suddenly hated this thing he made. It was meant to make Kirishima love him, not the shark itself. But how stupid could he be; he can’t force someone to love him. How could anyone love him?

Bakugo was too lost in his own thoughts and anger than he didn’t notice Kirishima walking slowly towards him, closing the gap between them. He wasn’t looking up, just starring at the shark in his hands. When Kirishima was just one step away from him did Bakugo finally pay attention to what he was saying.

“I couldn’t say… I’m a coward. That’s why I can’t say it.”

“Are you serious? You’re not a coward Kirishima. You’ve done more brave things than I can count. You’ve run through fire without a thought of your own safety. You’ve saved Mina’s fucking life! You’ve protected me more times than I care to admit. Fuck, I’ve even seen you jump off a hundred foot cliff before. How the hell can you call yourself a coward?” Bakugo’s mouth went dry when Kirishima finally looked up at him.

“That’s different. None of those things are as terrifying as…”

“What? Me? Are you scared of me?”

“No! It’s not that I’m scared. I’m…I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship. I’d rather not say anything at all, and just…keep hanging out with you.” Kirishima was turning the shark around in his hands, happy to have something to fiddle with as his heart raced.

“Is that why you ignored me? When I told you? Before midterms,” Bakugo asked, thankful that his voice was quiet. He was shockingly calm.

“No. That’s not why. I… didn’t believe it. Until now. Until this.” Kirishima held up the shark.

“How could you think I was lying about that?”

“No! Not lying. Just…I didn’t think you loved me…romantically.” Kirishima winced.

“Kirishima-“

“Can you blame me? How could someone like you love me?”

“Easily.”

“I see that now. I feel…kind of stupid. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brushed it off. I should have talked to you about what you said.”

“You are stupid.”

“Not manly, Bakugo.” Kirishima smiled weakly.

“Shut up. You put me through hell.” Bakugo took the last step between them. He was cold without his jacket. The snow was starting to seep into his shoes.

“Say it again.”

“What.”

“Just say it again, Bakugo.” Kirishima’s voice was soft. Bakugo took a deep inhale, grimacing as he finally spoke.

“Kirishima Eijirou. You’re an idiot. But you’re my idiot. You’re kind to everyone, but most considerate of me. You’re protective of the people you love, and you’re one of the strongest people I know; inside and out. There are not many people in this world that I like, and even less that I love. I didn’t ask for you in my life, but you came when I needed you the most. I can’t imagine my life without you by my side. You make me a better person. If I haven’t been clear; I fucking love you, you idiot.”

“I love you, Bakugo. You care more than-“

“Shut up, Shitty Hair. I don’t need to know why. I just need to know that you do.”

“Yeah. I do.”

———————

The dinging sound on his laptop woke Bakugo up earlier than he wished. He tore off his sheets, sighing as he ripped the laptop open, seeing a video chat request from Midoriya. Immediately accepting, a window opened with Midoriya’s face centre on his screen.

“Merry Christmas Bakugo!” His chipper voice grated Bakugo ears. He grumbled, sitting at his desk.

“Merry Christmas, Midoriya.”

“How’s your week been? I feel it’s been so long! Mom says hi! She wishes you’d come back home. She wanted to give you a gift. But I’ll bring it back with me-“

“Deku!” Bakugo cut off his rambling. He chuckled a bit to himself. He liked seeing Midoriya getting excited over silly things. “We were going to head home tonight, actually. So we’ll stop by your mom’s place.”

“Wait, seriously? Awesome!… umm. We?” Midoriya paused, raising his eyebrows. Bakugo took a deep breath, regretting his choice of words. But he knew he’d have to get this conversation over with eventually, so best to do it long distance where he could easily hang up if Midoriya became too overbearing.

“Yes, we. Things…worked out with me and Kirishima. You…fuck. You were right.” Bakugo grimaced at the smile Midoriya was poorly hiding as his hand covered his mouth as he craned his neck trying to look passed Bakugo’s shoulders into his room. “He’s not here, nerd! What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know. But I just thought… where is he?”

“In his own room! You called at 8am! Shitty Hair will probably be asleep until noon.” As if he sensed a conversation about him was occurring, Kirishima walked into Bakugo’s room without knocking, holding a duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Hey! Good. You’re up. I’m all ready to go.” Kirishima walked over to the desk, leaning down to rest his arm on Bakugo’s shoulder. Bakugo cleared his throat as he felt Kirishima leaning in to kiss him. His tactic worked; Kirishima caught sight of a prying Midoriya, turning his attention to say hello.

Bakugo slunk out from under Kirishima, who quickly took the seat to continue their conversation. Bakugo grabbed a bag from inside his closet, stuffing in a couple sweaters, pants, and underwear. He didn’t care what he brought, as long as it was warm. He glanced over at Kirishima, talking animatedly with Midoriya. Both were laughing about something Bakugo couldn’t care less. All he knew was that he was happy in this moment.

“…you guys are here, it’s not too far. We can meet up before Ochaco and I leave.” Midoriya was finishing inviting them both somewhere. Kirishima was nodding along in agreement.

“Yeah, man! I’d love that! I can’t wait to see your mom again!” Kirishima looked back at a Bakugo when he placed his palms on Kirishima’s shoulders.

“We’re going to catch the next train, Izuku. I’ll call you when we’re almost home.” Bakugo didn’t wait for a response from Midoriya; instead just shut the laptop with a heavy click.

Kirishima tilted his head back to look up at Bakugo. His smile made Bakugo’s breath catch in his throat.

“Do you think your mom will like me?” Kirishima asked quietly.

“You’ve met her before, dumbass.” Bakugo smirked. “She liked you just fine.”

“Yeah. But not as your boyfriend.” Kirishima’s smile faded, his forehead creasing between his eyes. Bakugo leaned down, placing a kiss above his nose.

“Yes. Mom will love you. You know why?” Bakugo paused, watching the concern fade slightly from Kirishima’s face. “Because I love you.”

Kirishima stood, holding Bakugo’s hand and grabbing his bag with the other. As the two started to leave his room, Kirishima pulled back on Bakugo’s hand.

“Hey,” Kirishima smiled as he pulled Bakugo towards him, leaning down slightly to meet their lips together. He let go of Bakugo’s hand to rest his palm against his neck, pulling Bakugo closer to deepen their kiss. Bakugo had waited years to do this, and was thankful Kirishima finally took control. Bakugo regretted telling his parents they would come visit today. He wished they could spend the day like this; together - alone. When Kirishima finally pulled away, Bakugo felt dissatisfied. More. He wanted more.

“Merry Christmas.” Kirishima’s voice was soft. He whispered into Bakugo’s neck, keeping their bodies close.

“Merry Christmas, Eijirou.”