Chapter Text
“Okay so, to be clear,” Luke starts slowly, dipping his gingerbread cookie into his coffee. They're all piled into their usual spot, a corner booth, at the cafe where Reggie works. Julie's by his side as always. Reggie, who is not on break, and trying to hide in their little booth so he won't get caught, is opposite to them. The usual empty spot is taken up by Alex, who's laid out his holiday dilemma in careful detail. “If they’re going to try and find a girlfriend for you all Christmas, why don’t you just take a boyfriend home with you?”
Julie shoots Luke a disgruntled look from her spot as Alex watches him with a practiced patience, the kind that's been specially molded by Luke and Reggie, fingers tapping rhythmically against the table. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Luke.”
“Well, yeah, I know that they don't. You can just take a friend. I’d do it.”
Alex doesn’t even smile. “No.”
“Oh, come on, it's a great idea.”
Alex groans, turning to Reggie and Julie, “Any other ideas?”
Julie shakes her head helplessly.
“I’d go but I promised Ethan I’d be there this year,” Reggie admits shyly.
The table shares a few cautioned looks, knowing Reggie’s family all too well. The only time Reggie talks about them is during the holidays, braving the hurt of being home for his little brother and Alex understands that all too well.
“Thanks Reggie,” Alex murmurs, reaching over to squeeze his hand. Reggie beams at Alex and Luke’s expression dims.
“How come you’d take Reggie but not me?” Luke whines before he can help himself.
Reggie takes a long sip of his peppermint hot chocolate, sharing a look with Julie. He’s only met with silence until Julie snaps her own cookie in half, a mirror of the tension, as Alex answers, “’It's not gonna work.”
“I can be a good boyfriend,” Luke argues, “And besides you don’t have any other ideas.”
Julie rolls her eyes at the incoming argument, offering Reggie the other half of her cookie. The distress on Reggie’s face doesn’t go unnoticed either but Luke can’t reel his temper in now. Alex always brings his emotions out a little too hot.
“Look, there's no way my parents are going to buy the fact that you’re my boyfriend.”
Luke crosses his arms, brows furrowing, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re not exactly the boyfriend type,” Julie interjects gingerly. Luke glares at her and she looks away quickly, blubbering about Reggie’s cute new jacket.
Reggie thanks her, before turning to Luke and offering a hasty, “She’s right, dude.”
“I could be if I wanted,” Luke doubles down in his own defense, but no one seems to take it to heart.
It's not really their fault. He's never had a long-term relationship.
“We should drop this,” Alex says, hand moving in a clear stop motion. His mood ring is an ironic blue.
“Fine,” Luke says crossly, trying not to step over boundaries.
Reggie is called away shortly after and Julie has to go home so they part ways in the parking lot, and for some reason, Luke can’t get the idea of being Alex's boyfriend out of his head. It’s not like he’s never thought of Alex that way.
The first time the two had met was at one of Carrie’s parties, after last year's finals. Luke had been fluttering through the crowd, drink in hand, when he caught sight of Reggie by the door, peeling off his leather jacket and waving to someone. Blonde, pretty, drunk, dancing with a passion that could only match Carrie’s. He knew every Dirty Candi move like the back of his hand, and he was there beside her, drawing Luke in like a moth to a flame. He might have walked up to them for a chance to get to know Alex but it was clear Alex had wanted nothing to do with him. His replies to Luke were short, more courteous than polite, and his eyes wandered elsewhere every time Luke tried to ask about his life. It stung a little, but Luke knows disinterest well, so he slipped off to find another drink.
And then, they had ended up dancing at some point, after Luke had a few lemon drops and half of something pink and orange Julie was sipping on. The energy was more damning up close. Luke didn’t know how to dance, he struggled to keep up with Alex, attempting to mirror every step, all too aware of the challenge in Alex’s eyes, until he was dizzy. He paused, panting, to watch Alex move. Alex got them both a drink after. Their hands brushed, a small magnetic moment as Alex leaned over him, Luke’s body drawing closer as the blood rushed in his ears. And then Julie had called out for him across the room and everything was lost in a blur. Alex hadn’t looked his way again that night and Luke was sure if he imagined the whole thing.
Alex's friendship had always been like that. Warmth in between sharp teases and casual until the small moments that had Luke’s head spinning. Alex thawed over the months, becoming someone to trust in all of Luke’s best moments and some of his worst, but he never warmed up to Luke the way he had to Reggie or even Julie. They rarely saw each other alone. Luke wanted to know him, though, feverish with curiosity, and sometimes there was a glimmer of hope that Alex might want that too.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
Alex [8:38pm]
So why aren’t you going home for Christmas?
Luke [8:41pm]
my parent are going on a cruise
Alex [8:41pm]
Don’t make me regret asking but…
Can I take you home for Christmas?
Luke [8:42]
you must be getting desperate
Alex [8:42]
I am
My brother texted to tell me they’re already planning a date
Alex [8:45]
with a “very nice christian girl”
Luke [8:45]
i promise to be on my best behavior
Alex [8:48]
Don’t be
I rather watch them struggle to accept my sleeveless rock and roll boyfriend
Luke [8:50]
do you look at my arms a lot
Luke [8:51]
??
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
Luke reaches out to turn the radio dial as they pull onto the freeway, hoping Alex will be distracted enough by the road to miss his movement. He doesn’t though, one hand swiftly moving from the wheel to swat Luke’s hand away. Luke groans as he settles back in his seat. Alex doesn’t even look his way.
Friday has stretched on for hours on the road, with the grating pop music being the only thing Alex has allowed.
Luke’s not blind to the fact that the small pride flag that usually hangs from his rear-view mirror has been swapped out for a cross and a candy necklace. Alex has tension written in his every moment, the car seat straighter than it needs to be, brows furrowed just a little even when he smiles. Luke has tried to provide some relief, tossing out a few jokes and talking about the classes he could care less about just to help him relax but there seems to be no undoing Alex’s worry.
The ring of Alex’s phone startles them both, and Alex swears under his breath as he accepts the call. Ellie Mercer flashes onto the screen and Alex turns the volume up as the car connects it over the speaker. “Hey, Ellie.”
“When are you getting here?” Ellie’s voice comes out with a sniffle and Luke looks at Alex through his lashes.
“We still have a few hours,” Alex tells her, not unkindly, earning a groan in response.
“Josh's new girlfriend is a bitch.”
Alex grins catishly, then whistles low, “I don’t think you’re allowed to use those kinds of words Elle Belle.”
“She treats me like I’m six, and she gave me this really obnoxious bow for my hair, and she always corrects my manners.”
“You’re not still six?”
“I don’t know why I bothered calling you,” Ellie says, her voice suddenly venomous. Luke swallows a laugh, leaning his head against the car window. “Are you still bringing the boyfriend ?”
“Yes, Luke is still coming.”
There’s a certain giddiness that swells inside him over Alex calling him his boyfriend. Even if it’s all pretend. Luke tries to ignore that thought, burying it deep down in the back of his mind.
“Dad says it’s awful suspicious you never mentioned him before.”
Alex’s finger taps rhythmically against the steering wheel. “Well when’s the last time dad has called me?”
Silence answers him, and Alex carries on, “Besides, it’s… a new development.”
“Is he cool?”
Alex turns on the blinker, two short ticks, and then gives a hesitant, “You’ll like him.”
Ellie whoops and then there’s a loud clatter on the other end. “I gotta go,” Elle says in a rush, the phone call clicking to an end. Alex sighs, tension seeping from his shoulder.
“Does that mean you think I’m cool?” Luke asks with a teasing lilt.
Alex shoots him a glare and then he turns on the radio again, pop music blaring louder than before.
Luke is suspicious about the amount of sleep Alex got the night before, so they pull over about an hour later to switch places. They don’t talk about it.
Alex briefed him before the drive on all he needed to know about the Mercer family. His mom and dad are high school sweethearts. His older brother, Josh, is sporty. He’s got a football scholarship. He has younger twin sisters, named Ellie and Amy, who are complete opposites. He hasn’t spoken to his parents since he moved out two years ago, with the rare exception of holidays where they all ignore the distance they’ve created since he came out. Last Christmas had ended in a disaster over three girls his parents had poached.
Luke told him about his own family, in return, the only child of a single mother who remarried when he was seventeen. They adopted a little girl, Charlie, who Luke adores even if he rarely gets to see her. He rambled a bit too long about their Christmas traditions until he noticed the ache in Alex’s eyes and apologized.
“It’s not your fault,” Alex had whispered, “They’re the ones that choose to make their love so... conditional.”
When Alex drifts off, he cautiously changes the station. The car smells like fried food from their gas station stop, both of them getting hot dogs and tater tots at the gas station. Alex’s bottle of coke is still settled in between his thighs. He pushed the seat way back, hood over his head and arms crossed across his chest.
Luke doesn’t wake him up when the sun starts to set like he promised. Alex looks far too cozy and he’s pretty sure it’d be better for his sanity to just stay asleep.
He mumbles something about orange juice as Luke drives into the city. Luke turns the radio down, a little confused. “Do you wanna get a drink?”
When Alex doesn’t answer Luke leans forward to look at him, amused to find Alex is still asleep. He glances at the GPS and shakes his head fondly.
Luke’s phone goes off as he’s driving through the neighborhoods, a little slower than the limit to take in all the lights. Snow is piled over the grass, and a few kids outside the building are making what he’s sure is supposed to be a snowman as someone inside flickers the poor light.
He answers quickly, happy to see Julie’s name. “Did you guys make it?”
There’s laughter in the background, and Luke knows that Julie must be home. He hears a shrill scream he’s half sure is Carlos. “Five minutes,” Luke tells her.
Julie clears her throat, a door shutting behind her. “I just wanted to make sure everything was going okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Last time we were together you were looking at Alex a little…differently.”
“I’m not going to do anything stupid,” Luke says quickly, despite the number of impulsive thoughts he’s been having about Alex lately.
It does nothing to convince Julie, who’s known him too long to buy it. “I just don’t want to see you getting hurt. I know you’re trying to help Alex out, but maybe you need to admit that it’s a little bit about your new crush too.”
“Julie I don’t have a-”
“I’m just worried about you, okay? You’re always so quick to act on your own feelings without thinking them through and I thought you were over the crush but clearly something changed.”
“I appreciate the concern, Jules, but my hopes aren’t up. I know how he feels and I’m not trying to change that.”
“I saw what you got him. For Christmas.”
Luke flushes, coming to a stop as a couple crosses the road.
“That was really sweet of you, Luke.”
“I’m a sweet guy.”
“I disagree,” Comes Alex’s reply, voice thick with sleep as he reaches out to turn off Luke’s music. Luke glares at him. “Who’re you talkin’ to?”
“It’s Julie,” Luke tells him. “I’ll call you back later, okay Jules? Tell everyone I said hey!”
“Be careful,” She tells him warmly.
Luke drives up to the house at the end of the could-a-sec, bright string lights around the roof, candles glimmering on the window sills. He tried to study Alex through his peripheral vision hoping he hasn't somehow figured out what they were talking about- or his rekindling affection.
Alex tells him to park in the driveway, his voice suddenly grave.
“Thanks for letting me sleep,” He says as he steps outside the car. Luke follows him with a small hum and they pull out everything from the trunk. Alex slides the scarf Reggie made him as they walk the short distance together.
Alex stands outside his childhood home, eyes narrowed, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie as a storm brews in his mind. He looks cute, Luke thinks absentmindedly, all bundled up in the scarf and hoodie. He watches from a few steps back, sleeves cut off of his thin Rush t-shirt, not shivering in the slightest despite the snow. The tall house in front of them is cookie-cutter but it feels welcoming in the dark. He understands Alex’s hesitance all too well, so he doesn’t push him. When the cold begins to bear too much for Luke, he draws closer to Alex, pressing their arms together. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”
Alex makes a sharp displeased sound before he steps up and rings the bell. Luke laughs brightly in return.
His mother greets them both, a gingerbread print apron tied around her body. She beams at Alex, a sharp hopeful glaze in her eyes as she looks over her son. She sweeps him into a hug with a watery smile as she asks how he’s been and about his classes. There’s no room for him to answer before she turns to Luke, and then she freezes. Her eyes sweep twice over his outfit and then to the tattoos on his arm before darting quickly back to Alex as if she’s unsure this is really the boy he’s brought home.
“You must be Luke, then.”
“Yes ma’am,” He says, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Her gaze grows from sharp to cautious, clearly relieved that Luke has manners.
“And you as well, come in, come in, you must be freezing. Alex did let us know he’d be bringing a friend home. I hope you won’t mind sharing a room?”
Alex’s brows raise and Luke’s tongue grows heavy in his mouth. Alex had said before that Luke would be put up in the guest room considering Josh’s girlfriend took one of the girls.
“Oh, of course not, ma’am.”
“Sarah is fine. Alex can show you to the bedroom and then the kitchen. Everyone’s already helped with dinner so once you two wash up we can eat.”
Luke thanks her before she disappears down the hall. Alex leads him up the stairs, not noticing when Luke lingers. A plethora of framed photos hangs over the wall, wedding photos, small children playing, and school portraits that look assuredly better than any of Luke’s. He stops to study the picture of an old golden retriever with a much younger Alex hanging over him in a Woody costume. An older boy, Josh, Luke thinks, stands to the side in an oversized Buzz Lightyear costume. A grin grows on his face. There’s another photo of Alex at a school dance, arms interlocked with a much smaller girl who looks a bit familiar, another boy standing to the side with shaggy black hair. “Who’s that?” Luke asks, but as he turns he finds Alex has already disappeared up the stairs. Luke picks up the pace, lifting his bag over his shoulder, with a small pout. He wants to know everything he can about Alex.
Alex is waiting at the end of the hall, the blue door held slightly ajar. The first notable thing is the full-size bed with black sheets and a duvet. The paint inside matches the door. There are a few posters tacked up on the wall of singers and movies Luke recognizes. The Paramore one piquing his curiosity the most. Two wooden shelves sit behind the bed, a few nondescript trophies and figures aligning them. Luke favors the small Kirby holding on to a star.
“Still haven't wiped these down,” Alex muses to himself, standing in front of the closet. Luke turns to face him, catching sight of the chalkboard-painted doors. A terrible drawing of a dragon is scribbled high up in red chalk, a few stars are littered here and there, and there’s a smeared drawing of a suspicious dog-shaped blob in the corner, a weird green lump in its mouth. Luke squints at it, head turning left as if the doodle will make more sense. Alex laughs, moving a little closer to Luke, “I was never really a good artist.”
There’s a comfortable silence as Luke sets his bag down on the desk. Alex shuffles through the dresser drawers, before starting to put his own things away. “I’m sorry about the bed thing,” Alex says softly, sneaking a glance at Luke as he plops down on it.
He lays back, letting his eyes fall closed. It’s definitely more comfortable on a mattress than he has at home, and the duvet is soft and warm.
“I don’t mind.” His cheeks flush as he realizes how the words might sound, and then in honor of what he said to Julie, “I could sleep on the floor if you want.”
“Huh? What? No, you’re definitely not doing that. You don’t think I’m that bad of a friend?”
“No,” Luke says quickly, eyes widening as he pushes himself up, “Of course not! I just don’t want to make things weird.”
“Nothing isn’t weird about this,” Alex says, a coy smile on his face telling Luke that he doesn’t really mind.