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The sun was shining down the trees and bushes, kissing it orange as autumn was at its last legs. Wind breezing through branches that took with them leaves that turned gold and orange, a sign of fall to end and winter to stay.
Reki stretched his limbs, the stiffness on his neck curating discomfort. To ease the pain, he shifted to the other side of the hammock he's laying on, his body swiftly swaying under the teasing sunset.
Surprisingly, in his hands was a book. Fingers flipping through pages, small and light. Here he was facing a contradiction because, truth be told, Reki wasn't really much of a reader. Since he was a kid, reading novels was his type of sleeping pill. Whenever he opens one, his pillows would get wet with a drizzle of drool, the book left solemnly abandoned on his side, forever stuck at page five.
But today, his focus was drilled into this particular book.
Mainly because he was reading a book about love.
Love wasn't something that he expected to be engrossed in. But before he could stop and oversee himself from falling in, his smiles had already grown wider, cheeks redder, and eyes softer. Moreover, the thumping on his chest that started off as gentle beats, now drummed ever so loudly in protest. Almost like it wanted to jump off his body and tell the world that he had indeed fallen over heels.
All of this wouldn't have occurred if a certain snowflake didn't enter his summer afternoon.
"Reki!"
A cheerful voice called over breaking Reki out of his reverie. Immediately, his eyes stare at the other's gem-like ones, a smile almost automatically stretched along his cheeks. Only seeing a portion of his face, Reki propped himself on his elbow, angling his neck to have a proper view.
"How did it go?" Reki asked, closing the book with deft hands hiding it behind his back. The last thing he wants to happen this afternoon is for Langa to know what he was reading. Especially because it's a topic he's not ready to talk about.
Langa obliviously walked closer to him, his face handsome and kissed by the gentle breeze.
"My mom agreed. We can go ahead and hang out at your house."
“Nice. Go pack your things up.”
There’s a shift in the air under Langa’s sharp gaze. Under such close observation, Reki’s skin started to tingle.
“...What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
The blue haired boy only kept his mouth shut, not breaking his hawk-eyed gaze. He stepped closer and closer, erasing the once wide distance in between them. The close proximity made Reki lay on the hammock, back flat, his ears growing redder by the second. The book getting sandwiched behind his back felt rather uncomfortable.
Langa leaned in. “You look like you’re hiding something from me.”
“N-no. I'm not hiding anything.”
Hearing Reki’s reply, he only raised a singular brow, a quizzical expression on his face as he looked closer at Reki. Without a moment’s delay, Reki only did what was normal for a person who is obviously falsely accused of hiding something by following the other’s intensity in the other’s stare, brows slightly furrowed.
Both were silent, lips were sealed yet between the heated atmosphere of silence, they had a coherent conversation without the use of any verbal words. Moreso, there was no sign for one of them to let up any time soon.
Then Langa took that one more step towards Reki.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
What Langa was doing was obviously not just nothing. The hammock dips as another weight was added to the already taut fabric. Reki’s eyes widened in surprise as he felt like he’s about to fall but the shakiness came to an end when Langa submitted all his weight to gravity. He was laying right on top of Reki, his head right on top of Reki's wide chest.
“This is not just nothing! Get down, the branch will snap.”
Reki tried arguing, his cheeks feeling red and hot. Langa paid no attention to Reki’s quarrel, letting the words travel in the air and leaving it to float upwards towards the purple sky. The sun was dipping, and the night curtain was nearly covering the neighborhood. With only a few more minutes, the sunset would be out of sight and with Reki's adamant refutal, Langa buries his head deeper into Reki's chest.
His heart was racing, blood rushing in his veins as he felt the pressure from his toe shooting up to his scalp. Reki wished Langa couldn't hear how fast his heart was beating. Occasionally holding his breath on purpose to stop the excitement. Little did he know that his efforts were all for naught.
Warmth and comfort. Two words that could describe how it was to be this close to Reki. Langa shifted under the fall air, his arms resting unmoving on Reki’s chest as his ears were now planted against the walls of Reki’s heart. Inside his ribs was an organ that played a symphony that was harmonic to the drums, quick and unfastened. Langa listened with a serene expression on his face, the skies tugged the edges of his lips.
Later on, the silence caught up to them as Reki forgot the words he was repeating to Langa. Under the canopy of astral lights and moon shine, shadows surrounded them due to a singular streetlight at the corner of the garden, illuminating small silhouettes of their noses and lips. Reki gulped as he closed his eyes. Preparing his mind, he wrapped his arms around Langa’s waist.
“It’s cold.”
“Then, let’s get up.”
“Mmm. Let’s stay like this for a little longer.”
Langa only released a short burst of warm breath before succumbing to Reki's deep embrace.
Under him, Reki was in an array of clustered pandemonium. There was the drumming of his chest resounding like giants jumping on the ground causing the whole earth to shatter in its wake and even with his efforts of trying to calm the clamor beneath his ribs, his breaths were out of rhythm and betrayed him.
What he was not well aware of was the same thumping, jumping sound inside Langa's disarrayed chest. Both of them had their hearts on overdrive and Langa is listening to the red haired boy's heartbeats. His cheeks heated, fingers tingling.
The sounds of both their hearts betrayed nothing.
A good minute or more had passed before the two stood like saplings at the door as they waved their goodbyes to Nanako-san, taking off on their skateboards as they rolled off hills and unperturbed streets to Reki's place.
The wind was fierce on Reki’s skin. It was cold and it bit like frost, producing droplets of tears at the corners of his eyelids. He would stare at Langa’s advancing form, the way his body would flow like a listless river where his movements connected like dots in the sky. The evening zephyr was plainly cold and dry, but skating with a certain blue haired boy has gotten his heart encased by a warmth so tender and so thick. He hid a smile along his eyes, Langa completely oblivious of the gentle gaze on him as he let his wheels roll down another hill.
The book, however, was also now rolled up and folded inside Reki's bag. He thought of putting it away once Langa is asleep.
Completely lost in thought, Reki had his lips closed like a lock. The key out of sight. Langa found this unusual and cranked his neck back to look at him.
"Reki, you wanna go to the park for a bit?"
The light in his eyes came back after a few seconds, letting his soul answer the recall. The red haired smiled and so their wheels wavered to a different path.
The night was still young and the moonlight veiled along the lines of the non living, soft and sharp shadows danced along the ground. A moment of jumping and flying had gone and Reki felt his lungs chasing air so he stood on his skateboard, hands stuffed between his pockets, as he focused himself to calm.
While the other continued breezing through ramps, the night aura caught between the locks of his snowy hair. He was nothing but a coordinated dancer, rolling and flipping through groundless spaces, fear was absent and nowhere to be seen within his eyes.
Watching him from the side, Reki felt his heart race yet again making him feel embarrassed. The sole warmth coming from the middle of his chest has invaded his bones, permeating through his skin as it reached the apple of his cheeks. Aside from the happiness of doing something he loves, and with the realization he's come up with these past days, he wasn’t wrong with adding two and two together.
To do the things you love with the person you adore the most is truly a lovely matter.
"Reki!"
Two pairs of eyes met under the stars, constellations effortlessly forming in between.
Turning his head, Langa looked at Reki with an expectant gaze but was surprised to see red eyes already staring at him. Warmth coursed through his bones, red glowing all over his cheeks.
"Look at me."
Langa managed to squeeze out those words despite the astringent sensation in his chest. Like a thick rope looped around his heart, there's a tension around it that's making him feel breathless, a blooming excitement. He kicked the ground with one foot to pick up speed, rolling in the speed of light and inhaled.
The ramps around the park were lacking variety and all had the same heights and even sizes. The color of the surface of the ramp was supposed to be apple red but because of time and consistent use, the color has eroded to a mahogany brown and a few scratches and scabs had detailed itself across it. He was heading towards the ramp near Reki, sensing the other's gaze on him as he kicked off.
A surging bubble filled with gentleness has welled up inside Reki's chest. His gaze followed Langa as he soared through the skies, beautiful like a painting. His hair was swaying with the wind, eyes glinting with unconfined mirth. In the illusion of the starry heavens, Langa was almost floating with wings on his back. Reki took note of the height that Langa just reached, eyes open wide as he ran closer to Langa with building elation.
“Langa, you are absolutely kidding me. Did you see what you just did? That was higher! Definitely higher! That’s a few inches higher than last week!”
Can’t contain the joy inside him, his voice echoed in the empty park, shouting all types of praises. Langa stayed quiet as he landed perfectly, his form superb and proper up to the last motion. Hearing Reki’s cheers, his heart immediately softened, cheeks burning.
“You’re so awesome, dude! Miya would be losing his head when he sees that. Damn, we should have got that on tape.”
"I wouldn't have done it without you."
The words were delivered with a deep sincerity, Reki felt the pressure and was caught by surprise.
"Oh? Hmm. Yeah, of course!" His lips grew robotic, tinkering with his insides like a hurricane. There was pure chaos, a maelstrom that was sucking his soul to the depths of the great unknown.
Did Langa just say that? What did he mean by that? Am I thinking what he's trying to say?
Langa sure noticed the sudden stiffness on Reki's face. He's damn flustered and he can't help but find it incredibly adorable. He got down on his skateboard and squatted down.
With Langa momentarily off his sight, Reki threw his gaze everywhere that is not Langa, feigning interest on random things out on the horizon without thinking too much about it. He first started looking at the trees, then the sky, then the bag of plastic taken by the wind. His heart was beating furiously in his chest and he wanted it to stop.
"Oh, your laces are untied."
"H-huh?"
Not given even an inch of a second to react, Langa scooted over Reki's foot and welcomed himself by tying his laces. From above, Reki watched Langa busying himself and at this moment, Reki's brain was off the rails. The alarm bells are ringing, red lights flickering.
The person I like is tying my laces. Reki quietly thought to himself, a funny expression painted on his face.
Aside from the wildfire ceaselessly burning inside his chest, his thoughts were like a broken video tape that has been playing on loop. In the span of what seemed like a long moment, his head was filtered and only a single name was in it. A person that could send his breath away, a raging waterfall that couldn’t be seized. He was right before him, so close. His eyelashes trembled under the waning moonlight, chest growing even tighter and losing control.
"L-langa."
"Hmm?"
Failing to keep a fraction of his thoughts to himself, he randomly blurted out the snow haired boy's name. He stuttered, mumbled incoherent words when Langa was suddenly inches off his face. Langa was quick to respond and when Reki had called him, he straightened up instantly, not letting another second go to waste. Their eyes meet, the ocean looking at the sun and the sun looking at the ocean. He could swear the floor was spinning under his feet. Growing dizzy, steam rose off his face from too much heat.
"N-nothing."
He looked away, dropping his chin and gazed indifferently on the floor. Reki tried his best to look aloof like the close distance between them was totally normal and had no cheery effect on him.
The quietness has indeed become really loud. Langa didn't utter a single word and Reki decided to keep his mouth shut not to let another stray and dangerous thought spill out. Their breathing was the only sound that catered the bubble between them while Reki struggled to lull the gashing waves of his lively heart.
His pulse was erratic, minutes away from exploding.
“Actually, it’s not just nothing. Langa, listen to what I have to say.”
With enough courage, Reki lifted his eyes to meet Langa. What he didn’t prepare for was Langa’s eyes were already staring back at him, the pupils flashing back a bright warmness. Reki’s heartbeat quickened.
“I’m listening.” Langa reassured, stepping a little closer towards Reki.
Feeling the nervousness building inside him, he wasn’t letting it topple over him and decided to get on with the act. With the constant drumming of his heartbeat on his ears, Reki opened his mouth, looking determined.
“I’m hiding something from you.”
There’s a seriousness to it, dashed with a slight embarrassment and even fear. Langa raised a brow, stared at his garnet eyes before searching his gaze for a more detailed explanation.
A second passed and Reki was looking all tense. Langa couldn’t hold it much longer and caved.
“Pfft–”
A loud laughter broke out, interrupting the serene atmosphere. Reki looked down and saw Langa’s curved smile, the top of his hair looking cute against the dim lighting.
Reki thought he was adorable.
“What?” Reki asked with a gullible note.
Langa looked up to him, and said. "Go on. What are you hiding from me?"
Langa grinned sheepishly as he waited for Reki to say the words he'd been meaning to say. Reki can't help but observe Langa and be under the impression that he has an inkling of an idea of what his secret is. The thought added more fuel to the flame, his nervousness flaring.
“I–” Reki dragged on.
“You?” Langa followed.
Reki gritted his teeth, hyping himself up so as to not run away. “Y-you know how we have been friends for quite a long time now, and you’re really awesome and so nice.”
“Mhm.” Langa urged.
“And you and I have been spending a lot of time together and your face is amazing, I mean, really handsome and good looking. Oh, and very pretty.”
Seeing Reki get all flustered with fingers fiddling and words dragging, Langa felt his heart quicken its pace. The corners of his mouth have reached maximum curvature, his cheeks aching at the relentless tugging where his joy overflowed.
Reki is breathtaking under the moonlight.
“You find me pretty? That’s your secret?” Langa probed, studying Reki’s array of reactions. First his face has turned white, then pink, then white again, and ended where his face was finally glowing beet red.
“Ah– yeah, yes. That is my secret. I find you pretty. Wait, no. No, that is not my secret.”
Reki was having a full-on breakdown right before his eyes and Langa was melting. What was with this secret that has gotten Reki all unsorted and tongue tied? Langa could guess from the redness of the boy’s cheeks, the despair and hope flickering in his smile, and the gentleness in his words that cradled Langa’s being.
Seeing Reki digging a ditch for himself, Langa raised his hand and hovered it over Reki’s delicate bones. The suddenness of his actions had caught to his heart, spiking the rhythm and slightly pushing his emotions off balance. His blood rushed through his veins and the pressure was getting stronger, his face was calm but his heart was not.
Two pairs of eyes observed the space between their hands in a stalemate. Neither moved, and the inch of the gap between was neither lessened, nor increased.
Seeing the standstill of their hands being so close to each other, they raised their chins as their gazes locked, both their hidden yearnings were in a fatal state. The scene tasted sickly sweet, almost dangerous. Reki gulped, throat growing dry.
“L-langa, what are y-you doing?”
The throbbing of Reki’s heart has increased in rate, accelerated to velocities that have gone off range and speeded to destinations that might end in a gruesome accident or could be an express straight to paradise.
Langa saw the apprehension that flashed inside Reki’s pupils and that display of weakness had gotten Langa succumbed to his inner voice. Unreluctantly, Langa grabbed onto his hand, gripped his fingers and palm firmly, not too tight and not too loose.
“Don’t mind me. I’m here to listen. Just say what you need to say.”
He encouraged him with tender words, not even disguising the affections dripping off his lips. Langa was fixated on opening his chest up and laying his heart bare. Hoping his actions would manipulate the tides and inspire the sparks flying about Reki’s fingertips.
The sudden close contact was lucrative and was the catalyst that ignited the flames under Reki’s skin. Langa’s voice was a safety net ready to catch him from the courageous stunt he is about to perform. The boiling water poured into a pot of burning oil as the steam rose recklessly, Reki smiled with relief.
“I have feelings for you.”
The confession came out as a whisper parallel to a feather free falling peacefully before crashing into dust on the solid ground.
Given enough courage, the repressed flower that was clawing at the walls of his heart, begging to break out, escaped. The flower only started as a mere seedling bore out of interest, teased and coddled by the sun shining down on it. The bud was unsuspecting. Completely unaware of the potential changes that would be lavish in manner.
The flower was scared to know it was a flower, hiding itself away from the sun. Inside the room of isolation, the budding plant left a small window for the sun to peek through. Yet the sun has poured out its rays which were warm and smelled like honey. Even when taken in moderation, the seedling flourished. The abundance of sincerity was victorious, breaking through those darkness.
To pay back all that kindness, that affection, the flower has to bloom. To stretch out its leaves and petals, accepting the consequences of genuine compassion and honesty.
There’s wetness forming along the corners of Reki’s eyes. Looking directly at Langa’s equally dewy gaze, he whispered, “You’re most special to me.”
His voice was immensely delicate. Fragile like a piece of glass threatened by the winding heights.
“I think about you, everyday. I like the way your hair flows with the wind, and your smile. You have a really pretty smile. And you’re so kind. You always make me feel safe and happy. I like you. I really like you, so much.”
The latter part was so softly spoken, Reki’s unsure if the wind was able to carry them to Langa’s fair ears. The flower was now out in the open, the sun was looking down on it, taking in the transformation it had become.
Langa stood tall like a statue. His long legs were frozen in place, feet nailed to the ground. Yet, what Reki didn’t notice was that behind those clear dazzling eyes were perturbed fireworks erupting. The turbulent rockets traveled under Langa’s snowy skin, seeping all the way into his bones and flared wildly.
Reki wasn’t the only one feeling nervous about this.
Despite the turmoil at the bottom of his heart, Reki stayed recklessly staring at Langa’s ocean eyes. His heart was beating so loudly he could feel it reverberating on his throat, even his ears. Reki detected the lack of reaction, Langa was just staring at him with sparkling eyes, and couldn’t take it any longer. With a sharp breath, his chest trembled as he looked away.
“I’m scared.” Reki murmured, closing his eyes as a teardrop broke out his dark eyelashes.
Reki’s grip grew tighter, his fingers interlaced with Langa’s cold ones. “Please, don’t hate me.”
Four words heavy as boulders struck like lightning, causing the earth to shake and waking Langa out of his reverie. The light inside Langa’s eyes burned brighter, reaching out a hand to Reki’s chin.
“Don’t be scared! I’m here, Reki. I’m not leaving.” Langa pulled Reki’s attention towards him, gentle touches along his face and cheeks to wipe away the wet tears flowing down his eyes.
Seeing Reki dressed with sorrow felt like stabs along his chest, the sharp blade lacerating his skin and his lungs. Langa hates the pain on Reki’s face. The first thing he wants to do every time he witnesses such a heartbreaking view is to rush over and comfort him, to trap him inside his embrace.
Langa moved his hands and placed it on both Reki’s cheeks. Holding his head in place, thumbs drawing circles on his skin.
“Listen, I have a secret too. Reki, I feel the same.”
Red eyes flickered, then like a torrential storm, his tears that have ceased from Langa’s light touches have again poured.
“Y-you? You like me too?” Reki asked, reluctantly and unbelievingly.
Langa didn’t let the question sway any longer and erased the doubts with one single action. He leaned closer and observed Reki’s face up close, looking at each other fondly with knowing eyes. Langa creased his eyes as he smiled, tiptoed, then planted a kiss on Reki’s forehead.
The warmth on Langa’s lips have transferred densely on Reki’s skin. He kept the contact for a few seconds before breaking away and gazing warmly at the man right in front of him. Langa watched as the redness on Reki’s face had gone darker in shade, the top of his ears heating up.
Reki’s mouth was slightly agape, making sounds that were all gibberish and incomprehensible, mumbling consonants that have failed to communicate his frantic elation.
Langa found the sight funny, his uncontainable happiness coursing around his entire body. In an attempt to calm a certain boy, Langa held Reki in a tight embrace, locking his arms around his waist and drawing closer before resting his chin on the boy’s broad shoulders.
“It’s my time to speak, so listen well." Langa said, his voice was low and quiet. Making sure that his words were only for Reki to hear.
He inhaled, the cold air hitting the cave of his lungs.
"Reki, since I’ve met you, there’s not a day that I have not thought of you. You’re kind and sweet. Your laugh is addicting. In days that I feel down, you were there and brought me joy. I like you. I like you more than you know.”
Under his embrace, Reki evidently shivered. The person inside his arms was shaking. It took a moment before Reki returned the hug with his hands wrapped on Langa's slim figure. Their lips were sealed tight, no words were exchanged between the two.
Langa pulled his face away and gazed at Reki’s tear-filled eyes. He studied Reki’s face with mirth. His nose was red at the tip, and it looked adorable.
“Spending my days with you, skating with you, I cherish it. All of it, I appreciate because of you. I adore you, in every way, in the most loving way possible.”
The smile on Reki’s face evolved into a frown before sobbing like a baby. Langa was surprised, his eyes widened. With one hand he cupped the other’s head to his chest while the other found its way to Reki’s waist, pulling him and hugging him again with tenderness.
“There, there.” Langa soothed.
Reki’s arms wrapped around Langa, embracing him like a koala who has no plans of ever letting go. Langa let the scene play as he knows that deep in his heart, both of them need this too.
“I’m so happy.”
“So am I.”
They stayed in each other’s embrace for a long time before breaking apart and going home to Reki’s place. They were taking the same roads, same hills and yet somewhere inside them had changed.
Tonight marked the day their hearts started beating as one.
“Langa!”
Reki called out as he rolled down on his skateboard. “Let’s do this for a long time.”
Langa smiled, a sweet warmth coursing along his veins.
“A long, long time.”