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"Hey," Amelia stepped to the nurses station, "Your husband's looking for you."
"I'm aware your brother is looking for me," Meredith grumbled, "I'm hiding."
Amelia furrowed her brows curiously. She had just spent dinner with them the night before and had noticed how annoyingly happy they were. Their children were healthy, happy, and they had been their disgustingly happy selves. If you had asked her years ago if this is the life she imagined for her brother, she would probably answer no because her brother was a jackass. But she was happy to have been wrong.
"Why are you hiding?" Amelia whispered, "What'd he do?"
"Nothing. Everything."
"Mer!" Maggie bounced a little as she made her way towards the nurses station, "Derek's looking for you."
"I know!" Meredith gritted through her teeth. Her eyes bulged out of her eyes as she sunk further into the chair.
Amelia and Maggie glanced at each other before Maggie shook her head, "Geez, he was in such a happy mood I thought you two were fine."
"No! We're not-" Meredith groaned as she straightened up, "We're not fighting but he is-"
A cheerful whistle coming down the hall caught their attention.
Meredith grimaced as she watched her husband turn the corner. Derek smiled brightly at the trio before fixing his eyes on his wife, "There you are! You ready to go?"
Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Where are you off to?" Amelia asked.
"Christmas shopping for the kids," Derek threw his tablet on the charger before peering at his wife who seemed to want to shrink in her chair, "I'm dragging your sister with me."
The pair of women chuckled as they well knew Meredith hated this.
"Stop laughing at me! It does not make me a bad mother to not enjoy being surrounded with a million other people shamelessly buying gifts for their children just because of a big fat man dressed in a red suit," Meredith scoffed, "I love my kids, I just know that there's an easier way of getting all of the shopping done without suffering in the stores. That's why it was invented. "
"You are no fun," Derek shook his head amusingly, "We can't even get any packages at the house without the three little Grey Shepherds going through them so we have to actually do the shopping this year."
Last year had been a total fiasco. Packages had arrived earlier than expected on a day where both parents were on call and the kids were home with their nanny, Erin. In a blink of an eye, Ellis had gotten a hold of one of the packages that just so happened to have the one thing she wanted that year- effectively ending the whole believing in Santa thing. She was heart broken and she didn't buy the excuse her parents had given her one bit about Santa delivering it early.
"What if you do the shopping and I give my stamp of approval?" Meredith grinned in an attempt to sway her husband.
"Not gonna work, c'mon, we gotta go, today's the only day we can actually do this," Derek reached to pull her chair out of the station. Only far enough where she knew she had no choice but to get off of the chair and join him into the claustrophobic mess.
"I swear you need to cheer up, you've been moping the entire ride here" Derek teased as he opened to the door to the toy shop, "Where is your holiday spirit?"
Meredith let out a heavy sigh as she stepped into the shop with other overwhelmed parents.
"You forced your surgery junkie wife to reschedule her surgeries," Meredith teased back, "It's called a withdrawal. No holiday spirit will be found."
An overwhelmed couple passed them with two children in tow. They couldn't have been older than eight and they were immediately mesmerized by each toy in front of them.
Rookie mistake, Meredith thought, Never bring the kids to a toy store during a busy season.
Derek laughed, "Oh get over it, it's for the kids."
Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. All incredible individual children who had inherited their father's annoying overly optimistic love for the holiday. It was charming, really. And if Santa really did exist, she was convinced that they'd be on the nice list.
"What are we gonna get them?" Meredith sighed, "They already have everything!"
Derek picked up a mask of a superhero he was sure his son knew the name of, "Well Bailey wants a new lego set to add to his whole collection so we got that covered."
Meredith furrowed her brows at the strange way her husband sounded. It was as if his voice had been muffled. She turned around and rolled her eyes at the red mask he wore over his face. Meredith laughed lightly and shook her head. Her eyes closed at his way to seemingly make her forget that there was an endless amount of people surrounding her.
She reached him and took the red mask off to reveal her husband's bright smile under, "You are such a dork."
Meredith threw the mask on the shelf next to them as he reached to embrace her.
"But now you're smiling," he walked next to her as they continued browsing, "You were moping a minute ago and now I got a smile out of you."
The mask was left behind on the shelf behind them as they continued to walk down the aisles. Shelves were filled with toys.
Meredith noticed how he'd often stop in front of some sort of contraption that caught his attention. Like a little boy, his eyes would glimmer with glee, and he'd press all the buttons until he was sick and tired of it.
"Oh my god," she gawked, "You were one of those kids!"
"What? What kids?" his eyes didn't leave the toys.
"You were one of those kids," she chuckled, "The kind that would walk into the store, take stock and made an endless list of things you wanted. You were that kid."
"I was not!"
"Oh, you so were, you probably tortured your poor mother," she chuckled, "I know that little sparkle in your eye. You're son has it."
"I stopped being that kid when my dad died," he quietly muttered.
Meredith gently turned to look at him.
"The last Christmas we had together, he gave me a watch," he quietly shared, "My mom had it- I think. I left it in my childhood bedroom. I didn't want to lose it when I left for Bowdoin but a few years ago I couldn't find it."
"You never went back for it?"
"No," Derek released a long breath, "A part of me was pissed about it for a long time because it was the last thing he gave me. I asked my mom and she didn't know where it was so-"
He shook his head absentmindedly as he poked at an action figure. It made a noise that made his mouth slightly curve up before whispering, "Gone. Just like that."
Meredith bit her lip. She knew better than to add or ask anything else. Conversations about his father always led to a morbid conversation of what ifs and plans of what to do if the worst should happen. She was cynical, but not enough to have these kind of conversations.
His dad had been brutally murdered when he was a kid. The man who stepped into his father's store that day stole a life and a potential life that Derek, Amelia, and the rest of the sisters could have had. He had stolen Carolyn of a husband. A reality no good person should ever had to endure.
"What about a bike?" Meredith changed the subject, "He did have a growth spurt this last year."
Derek shook his head out of the trance he was in, "The one he has now is still good. I'd give it another year and stick to the Lego set."
"Mm," she hummed as she continued to eye each shelf. She took a few steps and paused in front of a puzzle box.
An overly peppy and wide eyed animatronic puppy was placed in front of the puzzle box. It barked at her in a hight pitched tone calling her attention.
"What about a puppy? They're always asking for a puppy," Derek beamed proudly as he saw how it brought out another smile from his wife.
Meredith giggled as she shook her head, "I can't take you anywhere!"
"Technically I brought you," he chuckled, "Oh, there are the Lego sets."
"Okay well then I can't go anywhere with you," Meredith rolled her eyes, "He doesn't have that-"
"Don't point to the Star Wars one," he shook his head, "Don't you dare- don't laugh, it's not funny!"
Meredith strided to the box sets and picked one out. She tauntingly shook it in front of him claiming victory.
"So sensitive," Meredith poked her tongue out, "It's not my fault your kid likes everything you hated back in the day."
"And you say he's just like me," Derek shook his head. He had never shared why he hated the damn series, but if memory served her right, it had something to do with his dad. Everything did.
But their son had loved all things Star Wars. All things superheroes. Like any kid his age. So Derek reluctantly indulged and slowly those memories had turned into better ones. The kind he cherished because he only had so little time with his son. Soon, his son would be running off with his friends. So he'd milk what he could.
"He is," Meredith raised her brow, "Seriously, he'll like this one."
"Yeah, he will. We're gonna have to make some room on his shelf for this," Derek shook his head as he took the set from her hands, "Ellis said she wanted roller blades."
"She'll need a helmet," Meredith walked ahead and turned another corner, "We can get those on the other side of the store."
The walked in comfortable silence to the blades. Meredith scanned them as she looked for a pair her daughter would like. No pink. No purple. Those colors were banned for Ellis Grey Shepherd. Brown or green were her favorite. Blue was passable.
A sudden flash caught her attention, "Oh my- Derek! Please don't tell me you're doing what I think you're doing!"
He passed by the aisle again on a unicycle. Why she married this man, she had no idea.
"You think if I signed up for the circus, they'd take me in?" He winked as he climbed off, "I can juggle you know?"
Meredith rolled her eyes as she shoved him, "We need to finish, stop playing around!"
"You need to get in touch with your inner kid," Derek pulled her closer and kissed her cheek, "Any thoughts on Zo? We got her a whole microscope set last year. It's gonna be hard to top that one."
Meredith chuckled before raising a brow, "You should probably start saving up for the car you promised her all those years ago."
"What about a drum set? A guitar? Saxophone?" Derek insisted as they made their way to a section with ammature instruments.
"If this is your way of getting the kids to follow in you band footsteps, it's not working."
"You want to see my sax skills?" he teased as he faced her with a saxophone in his hands, "They're pretty impressive-"
"No! And I don't want to hear the guitar either!" Meredith rolled her eyes and pushed him lightly, "This is your idea of torturing me isn't it? Taking me all over a toy store with the excuse it's for your kids while you go around playing with toys!"
"Yes!" Derek laughed as he set the saxophone down, "We better find something for Zo."
Meredith looked around the store. Rows and rows of toys stared at her until one stand completely took her breathe away.
She walked towards it and released a breathy chuckle.
"What is it?"
"Oh it's- it's nothing, just," she sighed, "My mom used to buy me these books everytime one was released. She'd take me to the local library and sometimes the writer would do readings there so I would sit and listen to her read chapter after chapter."
"In Boston?"
"Yeah," Meredith laughed as if she remembered an old memory, "Now I get that she took me there on purpose because I'd either read or I would listen to whoever was there reading and she could be off studying."
She skimmed through the pages, set the book down, and picked up another, then another.
Meredith rolled her eyes as she turned to her husband, "Even when it didn't seem like it, the woman had it all planned out for herself."
Derek chuckled as he took a book and skimmed it. These were little pieces Meredith would sometimes share with him. Little reminders that his wife had a childhood in which a merry Christmas was foreign. Where she didn't have traditions like setting up a tree or building gingerbread houses or writing letters to Santa. Despite this, she created these traditions and shared his own traditions with their beautiful children. Children who had happy memories- because of her.
"Tessa's the reason why I wore red sneakers throughout third grade. She had a messy life like I did," Meredith put the book back, "I used to have a few copies that she signed somewhere lying around."
"Used to?" Derek furrowed his brows, "they're not at the sister house?"
"Probably. I don't know,," Meredith shrugged, "Haven't seen them in years. When Zola came home, I tried finding them because I wanted to pass them on to her."
Meredith turned to her husband with a small grin, "They're all signed so, I thought it'd be… I don't know. Kind of like your watch."
Something to pass down. Something to share.
"What's the premise?" Her husband asked.
Meredith released a breathe and lightly shook her head, "She loses her parents. She goes off on these massive adventures and she just- I wanted to be like her and not let it get in the way of anything ."
Derek watched as she briefly traveled back in time to her childhood. "It" had been the fact that Thatcher had abandoned her and Ellis was practically absent.
"We both know how that went," she chuckled, "But later on, like Tessa, I got a happy ending even if it was messy."
Derek smiled fully knowing she meant it.
She patted the books lightly before taking a full box of each of the books.
"I know what we're getting Zola," she raised a brow and walked away.
Derek opened the door and rushed into the house, "Mags! Amy!"
"What happened?" Amelia asked, baffled at how out of breath her brother had been.
Maggie followed her out of the kitchen, "Are you okay? What's wrong with Mer? Are the kids okay?"
"Oh my god, she finally kicked you out," Amelia joked.
"Not funny," Derek glared, "Maggie, where did you find the letter Ellis wrote to you?"
"In the closet by the mud- wait, how do you know about that?"
"Meredith tells him everything," Amelia rolled her eyes, "You know that."
Derek ignored the pair and ran to the mud room leading to the backyard. He pulled on the closet door and searched for box after box.
"What are you looking for?"
Derek sighed and threw the empty boxes back in the mud room carelessly before pushing past Maggie and Amy. They saw him sprint up the stairs, up to the attic, and tagged along.
"Derek, what are you looking for?" Amy asked, "Maybe we can help."
"A set of-," he mumbled to himself, "C'mon she couldn't throw them away."
"What are you talking about?"
He didn't answer. They stopped asking. He searched through box after box after box until he left of things of tattered toys and dusty books.
There was one box left. Just one. Overly ripped and squashed.
"Ha!" he pulled out one ratty old book. And another. And another until there were at lease seven out. He looked up at his sisters and smiled, "Found them."
"What's that?"
"It's for Meredith," he whispered as he picked up a blue book and opened the inside. Tattered pages told the story of a little girl who read the book over and over and over again.
Meredith hummed as she felt a pair of lips by kiss her shoulders, "Morning."
"Merry Christmas," Derek whispered as she turned in his arms, "We have a few minutes before the Little Grey Shepherds run in here."
Meredith giggled, "No unwrapping gifts then?"
He tenderly kissed her lips, "I can unwrap mine right now."
He kissed her until her small fists pushed him back, "Not yet, we have incoming."
The door burst open as three overly enthusiastic children ran up to their bed.
"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" Ellis jumped on top of her parents as the other two sat on the edge.
"No it's not," Derek teased.
Ellis furrowed her brows together and crossed her arms, "Daddy, there's a stack of presents under the tree-"
"Alright, alright," Derek conceded, "I know that look, let's go."
Meredith giggled as she watched her youngest and her favorite dad jumped off the bed and ran out the room.
"Alright you two, what are you up to?" Meredith raised her brow at her two eldest.
"Nothing," they said in unison with a mischievous grin across their faces.
"Meredith!"
She squinted her eyes and pushed herself off the bed.
As she ran out of the bedroom she spotted her husband standing by the breakfast bar with Maggie standing across.
"Hey guys," Maggie grinned, "Merry a Christmas!"
She hovered over a stack of breakfast foods and winked at the two oldest that ran from the hallway.
"This was their idea," Derek nodded to their children as the ran behind their Aunt Maggie, "Christmas breakfast."
"Ohh," Meredith gasped, "Best present ever!"
"You guys always give us the best present so we asked aunt Maggie to help," Zola beamed.
"Breakfast first," Bailey smiled, "Presents later! Right, Ellie?"
Ellie sighed in a dramatic fashion, "Fine."
"Thank you," Meredith whispered to her sister. Maggie winked at her as she helped her nieces and nephew prepare their planned surprise for their parents.
Amelia had joined the family later in the morning with Scout, who had been genuinely clueless as to what the holiday was. But Ellis had let him be the first to open his presents.
Amelia helped him cheer as he opened his last present, an elephant plushie like his cousin's. Amelia clapped as she watched him play with it, "Oh I know who this is from!"
Amy looked towards Ellis and smiled shyly, "He likes my old elephant so I wanted him to have one too."
Amy looked towards her brother and smiled. Who would've guessed that the pair would grow so close.
Ellis opened hers next, and was profusely thrilled to see a pair of green and blue roller blades along a brown helmet with flowers painted all over.
She ran to both her parents and gave them each hugs, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's just what I wanted!"
Derek smiled, "Your mama chose it. She said something about you hating pink and purple."
Ellis laughed and unboxed them. The glee in her face was evident and her mother smiled as she took pictures.
"Okay Bailey, your turn! Now you can open it," Meredith cheered on her son, who tried his best to patiently wait. He unwrapped his gift and smiled happily at his father and then his mother.
"Yes! It's exactly the one I wanted! Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!" He grinned.
"Okay, Zo," Meredith smiled, "I got one for you!"
Zola smiled. She hadn't asked for anything. This past year had been filled with so much for her. A diagnoses of generalized anxiety had rattled the parents. And their constant traveling had only induced it. Minnesota had hurt them as a couple and as parents. An almost encounter with an infatuated surgeon and Derek's over jealousy were nothing compared to what Zola went through. They were determined to put it behind them and to move mountains for their children.
Meredith pulled a box wrapped with a purple bow. She looked to see her other children who were happily distracted with their dad.
As Zola opened the gift, Meredith explained the meaning, "You know that I had not-the-easiest time as a kid but whenever I wanted to forget I would read these books over and over again."
Zola curiously glanced at her mother and then at the books as she continued to listen, "I can try to paint everything pink with pretty bows but you're too smart for that. And sometimes we need messy stories so this-this is a little messy but it has a happy ending so-"
Meredith sighed as she realized she was rambling. Where was she going with this? Right. Happy endings.
"I read them over and over and over and I wasn't always sure I'd have a happy ending but-," Meredith looked around to her family until her eyes met with the person who so wanted the big happy family for her.
He locked eyes with her and gave her his classic smile. Filled with delight.
"Sometimes life surprises you," Meredith turned to her daughter again.
Zola clutched the books closely to her and smiled, "Thank you, mom. I love them."
Meredith smiled at her oldest and pulled her into a hug. So much change in the last year. And her daughter had carried a load of it, but through it all she knew she'd be alright.
"He finished it," Derek walked into the room with a proud grin, "Bailey finished building the whole thing and it's right at the center of his collection. He's so proud."
Meredith giggled as she pulled the comforter up, "And to think you wanted to find him another."
"I think I may need to go find another one," Derek smiled as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Minutes passed and and Meredith's mind kept busy with the book she had been reading. She was close to it finishing but even she knew the ending might not be the one she was hoping for. Not a completely happy ever after thing. But then again wasn't life always like that?
The door opened and she almost missed him approach her and sit in front of her, "What? What do you want?"
"Nothing," he shook his head in amusement, "I have something for you."
Meredith raised a brow, "We agreed, no Christmas presents for the grown ups. Just the kids-"
"I kind of broke that this year," he shrugged as he pushed forward a box, "C'mon open it."
Meredith shook her head, "Well see now I feel less guilty because I also got you something."
Derek furrowed his brow as she pushed the comforters off and ran to the drawer set by the wall. She pulled a small box and ran towards the bed like an excited child- well like their own children really.
"I'll open mine if you open yours," she widened her eyes with a grin.
Derek shook his head, "You didn't have to-"
"Oh shut up and open the thing or whatever!" Meredith rolled her eyes as she watched him take the box.
She wanted to see the look in his eye. She was waiting to see it all morning except when she opened her own, she was wordless.
Derek had been anxious all day hoping she wouldn't find the box. He had been waiting patiently and a part of him was dying to bring it out when he heard Meredith and Zola in the living room except he knew she would need a minute to process it. But her own gift had caused him to remain speechless as well.
"You got me a watch," he whispered as he looked at it carefully. It was a pitch black band and golden roman numerals. Something not overly pricey back then but something with value. And knowing Derek, a watch was right up his alley. Emotions tied and all, "It's just like the one my dad got me when I was a kid-"
He felt his breathe hitch and he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Mer-"
"You found the books," she whispered as she looked up at him with tears in his eyes, "I thought they were- I mean a part of me thought they were lost for good. You went to the house and looked for the books."
She pulled one by one out. Book by book, she checked the inside. An old bookmark fell out. And another had the corners of a few pages marked. And each one was signed by the author.
"I thought uh-," Derek mumbled, "Maybe down the line, you could pass it to Ellis since you got Zo a new set or I don't know I just- Meredith you got me a watch-"
"We tried searching for the one your dad gave you," Meredith looked up, "I called your mom and asked her about it and when she didn't find it I searched until I got my hands on one. It's vintage and it's exactly the same so-."
His thumb brushed the back of it the watch.
"Something to pass down like your dad did," Meredith whispered before looking back down at the books, "Where the hell did you-"
"Old box in the attic," he whispered, "Just like you said. I promised Maggie and Amy I'd go back later this week to clean up the mess I made."
He chuckled a little before reaching to push a wisp of blonde hair back, "You deserve a happy ending. Even if it's messy."
Meredith's lips curved into a gentle smile. She carefully placed each book inside the box and set it aside before sitting up on her knees and crawling towards him. His hads found his waist as she settled onto his lap with her hands wrapped around his neck.
"I do have a happy ending," she whispered as she pecked his lips gently, "It's very messy but it's very happy."
Derek smiled as he leaned in to kiss her deeply and let them both lose each other in their combined bliss.
Happy endings were Christmas miracles in and of themselves- even with the mess attached.