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Day 1: Glimmer and I chatted today. I asked if she would be able to visit for the holidays, but she couldn’t give a solid answer. I guess her new job must keep her pretty busy. Still, I hope she can make it; I haven’t seen her or Bow since I moved into the new place. It’s not that I don’t like my new roommate, but Catra is… well, standoffish at the best of times. She doesn’t exactly exude holiday spirit.
So I’ve decided to take it upon myself to get a Christmas tree and spread some holiday cheer. I’m sure even a sourpuss like Catra can get into the spirit, if given the chance.
Day 2: Okay, so it is clear that Catra really does not understand the concept of a Christmas tree. I don’t understand how she’s gone her entire life without encountering one, but she seems convinced that I’m insane for wanting to bring an outdoor thing indoors to decorate it.
Maybe she has a point. It is kind of a weird thing to do - I’m not even sure where this tradition comes from or why. Still, you can’t really do Christmas without a tree, right? Of course, now I need to get some decorations - garland, lights, ornaments. Do I have the money for all this?
Too late now - I wanted this Christmas - time to make the most of it.
Day 3: The popcorn garland I made last night disappeared. I asked Catra about it, but she claims she doesn’t know anything. That seems highly unlikely, but I have no evidence that she’s done anything with it. Also, it is completely gone - nothing in the trash, no stray popcorn pieces or string. I don’t get it.
Whatever. I’ll get the lights up tonight, make a new string of garland, and maybe put up a few of the cheapo dollar store baubles I picked up today. Hopefully I can get this tree decked out by the end of the week!
Day 4: So, first off, the popcorn garland disappeared again. Catra maintains her innocence - yeah, right. 🙄 This is getting pretty annoying. Do you have any idea what a pain it is to make these things? Literal. Pain. Sure, it’s a cheap decoration, but it is so much work! I have bruises from all the times I stabbed myself with the needle. She better not steal this one - I might actually kill her.
Speaking of murder… Catra saw the tree lit up for the first time and almost instantly went psycho killer on it - fully dilated murder eyes. I just barely managed to wedge myself between her and the tree as she tried to pounce it. I spent the next 4 hours guarding the tree against any further attacks. I’m going to have to find some way of distracting her.
Day 5: You know I found Catra honing her claws on the tree this morning?! First, she claims it’s crazy to bring it inside. Now, she’s using it as a scratching post? What is her problem?! We yelled at each other for half an hour before I had to step out and get some air.
Oh, and I still can’t figure out what she’s done with the popcorn garland I keep making. Three days, three strings of garland, and no evidence they ever existed! I feel like I’m going crazy.
I don’t know why she’s so determined to ruin Christmas, but I’m not going to give up.
Day 6: 😂🤣😂 OMG! I found out what happened to all the popcorn garland I’ve been making. Catra spent half the morning yowling and cursing in the restroom. Turns out, she’s been eating the garland - string and all! I almost feel bad for her - it can’t be comfortable trying to expel 20 yards of garland that’s built up over a few days. Of course, I said “almost” - serves her right for all the trouble she’s made over this Christmas tree. What was she thinking?!
One thing is certain - I’m going to have to come up with an alternate idea for garland. I found a cute star topper from a local thrift store that I’m going to put up tonight. Even without the garland, that should round things out pretty well.
Day 7: Well she finally did it; Catra absolutely destroyed the tree! 🤬 I really don’t know what her deal is! I was doing this for us - so we could have something cheerful this holiday. I’m pretty sure Catra has never had a particularly good holiday. I don’t really know - she isn’t super cheerful most of the time, but I get the impression that holidays are particularly rough for her.
If I’m being honest, this year hasn’t been great for me, either. I haven’t seen Glimmer and Bow for so long, I’m not even sure when we last saw each other. Sure, we still text and keep up, but it’s not the same. I just wanted something cheerful and happy to brighten up the holidays.
I lost it at Catra. We both shouted at each other for a while until I broke down in tears. She left after that - I don’t know where. I don’t really care, either. I can’t be around her right now.
Day 8: Catra was out all night last night. She didn’t return until late this afternoon. I was still really angry with her, but she also looked absolutely miserable. We didn’t really talk at first. She went into her bedroom, and I did my best to clean up the mess from yesterday.
I know I said that she absolutely destroyed the tree, but looking at it now, the tree itself is mostly intact - some branches missing, and a whole lot of ornaments ruined, but I think I can salvage most of it.
It was about the time when I had the tree set back up, most of the mess put away, and was sorting through which decorations could be salvaged when Catra came out and kinda sorta apologized?
She didn’t say sorry or anything, but she did confirm my suspicions that Christmas has never been her thing. I didn’t get a lot of detail, but her mother sounds like a real piece of work - narcissistic, controlling, always making Catra seem lesser somehow. I gather that any holiday celebrations they did have were mostly about Mommy Dearest and not Catra. I can’t even imagine what that might have been like. Not that it excuses her behavior, but I think I understand her a little better now.
I did my best to explain that the tree is for both of us and that she’s welcome to be a part of the decorations, if she wants to. She doesn’t seem entirely convinced, but she agreed to stop attacking it - although the side-eye she gave the tree at that point makes me doubtful. Oh well! A truce is a truce; I’ll take what I can get.
Day 9: The tree is mostly looking like its old self again. I still have to come up with some new ideas on what to do for garland and replace about half the ornaments, but I’ve been looking at some ideas online for inspiration. There’s a few craft projects I want to try.
Catra hasn’t really come out of her room all day. I don’t know if she feels guilty or angry or is just being her usual antisocial self. I guess I can understand if she doesn’t want to talk more after yesterday. Still… I wish I could see her. We’ve been roommates for a while and… yeah, I consider her a friend - even if we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. Maybe I’ll ask her if she wants to come out and watch a movie or something.
Day 10: Catra’s idea of what constitutes a holiday movie is… interesting. I understand that something like The Santa Clause isn’t going to be her thing, but Home Alone shouldn’t have been as big of a sell as it was. She also seems to think Die Hard is a comedy? I mean, yeah - it has its moments, like any action flick, but the way she laughed at McClane’s “Now I have a machine gun. Ho! Ho! Ho!” was pretty unnerving.
I guess I can’t complain; sitting through 2 holiday movies with her was great. It certainly distracted from the tree, for once. We snuggled up under the extra large sherpa throw and ate way too much popcorn! [no strings attached 🤭] I, uh… caught her staring at me a couple times while I was giggling my head off at Kevin’s burglar traps in Home Alone. She probably thinks I’m a huge dork or something. Oh well…
Day 11: It’s cookie time! Somehow, miracle of miracles, I managed to convince Catra to take the afternoon off so we could work on some gingerbread cookies together. Honestly, I’ve never baked anything from scratch before - I’ve baked some sliced up logs of cookie dough from the store a few times, though. I figured gingerbread can’t be much more difficult.
I guess it can be. Catra doesn’t seem to have any more baking prowess than I do, and about half of the cookies we attempted either fused together in the oven or came out half burnt. Eventually, we managed a couple decently edible batches. Of course, decorating is another thing entirely, and by the end of the day, I’m pretty sure our kitchen qualified as a superfund site.
At least we have some cookies. It’s already feeling more like Christmas.
Day 12: Over the past few days, I’ve been trying my hand at this thing called amigurumi - basically crocheting little dolls and things. I made a pokeball and a Baby Yoda! Okay, they’re pretty sloppy - but I made them! And they’re cute! They’ll go great on the tree.
Day 13: Why did I think ornaments made of yarn balls would be a good idea? 😫 To Catra’s credit, she did actually apologize this time - not that that brings back my ornaments. Back to the drawing board.
Day 14: I convinced Catra that we should exchange gifts. When I first suggested it, she almost seemed scared - her face was some mix of surprised, horrified, and maybe just straight up confused. That kinda makes sense, though, given what she told me the other evening about her Christmases past. She probably never had a gift exchange that included her. So, we agreed to keep it simple - one gift each, $20 budget. I wonder what she’ll pick out for me!
Day 15: We got about a foot of snow today. That was nice. The power also went out. That was less nice. Still, we made the most of it, playing board games and reading some of the holiday fanfiction I had downloaded onto my phone. Things were fine, until I wrecked her at Sorry! and she yeeted the board at the tree. It was too dark to assess the damage - I’m sure the tree is fine, but I won’t be able to clean up the mess until the morning.
We had a good time reading some stories though, laughing off some of the more improbable setups. Catra is really funny - kind of a vicious sense of humor, but I was laughing my head off at the jokes she made when the stories got a bit uncomfortably romantic.
Speaking of uncomfortable, it was a little awkward huddling together around my phone, but kind of in a good way? I’ve never really been this close to Catra before - certainly warmer than the alternative - and I couldn’t help notice how good she smelled. Kind of earthy but with a hint of spice - like the sort of smell you’d find deep in a forest in late autumn. I could still smell it on me when I went to bed.
Day 16: Catra cleaned up! Without being asked! She said she didn’t want to hear me complaining about attacking the tree again. Actually, I think she's finally come around to the tree but didn’t want to admit it.
After the snow, I thought we could go ice skating. It was so beautiful out! Cold… very, very cold… but everything glittered in the sunlight. With all the colorful decorations out, it definitely felt like Christmas.
As it turns out, despite all her athleticism, Catra sucks at ice skating. For the entire time on the ice, she was practically halfway climbed up on top of me, screaming herself breathless. She also didn’t like how much I was laughing at her, but I couldn't help myself. It was adorable! And ridiculous! What else was I supposed to do?
On the way back home, she got back at me by pelting me with a snowball. I hastily packed and threw one at her, and we were suddenly all-out battling. For all her clumsiness on the ice, Catra has one hell of a throwing arm. I might actually bruise after some of those hits!
The whole snowball fight must have lasted at least an hour - certainly, that's what it felt like. It only ended once Catra straight up sprinted and leapt at me, knocking me over and pinning me down. At that point, I was already breathless and a little dizzy, so I wasn’t really thinking when I pulled her in closer.
I can't say why I did it, but I can say that she smelled amazing - just as she did last night. I can also say that I became increasingly aware of just how close my lips were to hers, and I began to wonder what it would be like to kiss them. It was about that point that I realized how extremely weird I was being, so I just stared in shocked silence. Catra must have been just as shocked because she stared back at me, and we kind of laid there for a bit until she got up and chuckled about what a weirdo I am. She’s right; I felt like a huge weirdo.
Day 17: Catra and I are going to do our gift shopping today, which means I won’t see her until this evening. It’s probably for the best, as I could use a little space from her to sort out just what in the heck is going on with me lately. I really can’t go around grappling my roommate and smelling her like some deranged stalker.
We've been having so much fun lately, and I feel much closer to her than we've ever been, but whatever this is I’m feeling, I don’t want it to jeopardize our friendship. For now, I want to concentrate on giving her a super fun, festive Christmas.
I found a cute little boutique shop that had custom choker necklaces. They’ll even print a custom plate with your name on it, so I got a little one with spikes that said “Catra.” I also picked up a Christmas tree scent spray while I was there and some peanut butter biscuit cookies that tasted terrible 🤢 - must be some sort of health food.
I hope Catra will like her necklace!
Day 18: I didn’t wind up seeing Catra at all yesterday, but I found the present she got me under the tree this morning. The wrapping job she did was so terrible, you can easily see the gift underneath 😂. She seems to have gotten me a replica of the sword from Power Princesses, my favorite anime.
So, that surprise is ruined, but it’s really cute how much she tried to conceal it. It’s actually pretty surprising that she picked up on my favorite show - I’ve never really discussed it with her before. I kind of want to cry a little bit; it makes me happy that she really seems to be picking up the holiday spirit. It’s a kindness I’m not used to seeing from her. I absolutely have to act totally surprised when I open it up!
Day 19: Jingle bell garland! Ha! I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it before… cute decorating item AND early warning system if Catra decides to attack the tree. I couldn’t have timed that addition better, as Catra was going absolutely nuts tonight!
That’s also how I found out that the Christmas tree spray I bought was actually catnip spray. 🙃 A bit of quick thinking while I did my best to keep Catra from destroying everything in the apartment, and I managed to encourage her to join me for a run around the block.
That turned out to be more like 10 runs around the block. O Holy Night, she is fast! I’m exhausted… but it worked. I can’t salvage the ribbon she shredded, but no major damage to the tree or apartment. I’ll count my blessings.
Day 20: We’ve had our shares of ups and downs over the past few weeks, but things have been pretty decent lately, for the most part. I wanted to reward Catra for being actually kinda nice for a change, so I offered to make dinner tonight.
I made a pot roast with potatoes and carrots. It was a little underdone, but Catra didn’t seem to mind. She said she preferred it that way, though she might have just been messing with me - I can’t always tell when she’s joking.
Either way, it was a lovely dinner - I’m pretty sure we both enjoyed it. Near the end, Catra got this look - eyes blazing in the dim light of the tree and the candles I had set out. With a crooked smile and an almost imperceptible bite to her lower lip... as though she wanted to pounce me like the tree. I wasn’t sure how to react to that. My mouth went dry, blood rushing from my head to my gut, my thighs burning like I have never felt before.
So, I did what any cool and collected rational adult would do in this situation. I stammered out an awkward apology, excusing myself from the table while stumbling into every bit of furniture as I rushed my way into the longest, coldest shower I’ve ever had in my life.
I really, really wanted to be that tree tonight.
Day 21: I can’t stop thinking about Catra and her look last night. Really, I can’t stop thinking of the past few weeks. Somehow, I’ve managed to completely fall for my roommate - not exactly the Christmas cheer I was going for at the start of the month.
Do I tell her? Can I tell her? Every time I try to think about how I’d even broach the subject, all I think of is that look… and her eyes… and those lips I would beg to nibble on… and how good she smells. Ugh! I can’t think straight!
Christmas is coming up in just 4 days. We have gifts to exchange. I can’t screw things up by talking to her about this. I’ll wait - put these feelings aside for now before things get more awkward between us. Just 4 days. I can do that.
Day 22: This is not going well… at all. Catra seems mad at me. She’s asked about why I left so suddenly at dinner a couple nights ago. I didn’t really have an excuse, so I muttered something about indigestion. I doubt she believed me; she just kinda frowned and walked away at that point.
A few times, I’ve tried talking to her… just as friends. Back the way it was before - before I lost my mind and fell in… fell for her. I can’t. I always break up and feel like crying. Every time. And every time she frowns. She probably hates me.
Day 23: I haven’t left my room today - I’ve straight up ugly cried for the past hour. I can’t face Catra like this. Things were going so well! And now we’re 2 days out from the big day, and I’ve ruined our friendship and Christmas! I think she’s knocked at my door a couple times, but I’ve been concentrating so hard on choking back my sobs, I couldn’t really tell. It’s not like I can talk to her, anyway.
I hate this Christmas! I don’t want to feel like this. I messaged Glimmer to get her advice. If my best friend in the whole world can’t talk me down, nobody can.
Day 24: Glimmer is such an amazing friend. We talked for hours last night, and she helped me realize that these feelings don’t come out of nowhere. That look had to mean something, right? Maybe Catra… She could like me too, right?
So, I’ve decided to tell her tonight. I’m so nervous, but I feel like if I don’t say anything I’ll explode. We’re going to open up our gifts to each other tonight instead of the morning. She’ll open up the necklace I got her, and I’ll open up that abomination of a wrapping job she did. 😂
And then I guess I’ll… I’ll tell her then. I dunno… I’m prepared - well, as prepared as I’m going to be - if she doesn’t feel the same about me, but I hope we can still be roommates and friends. I just really don’t want to mess this up.
Day 25: Wow. So, uh… yeah. Catra feels very much the same about me. When I told her how I felt, all she said was, “Fucking finally!,” grabbed me by the collar, and practically dragged me to her bedroom. I don’t think I can really share what happened at that point, but suffice it to say I spent the next few hours learning the exquisite pain of being bitten in various places - among other things. 😏
Oh, and uh… that wasn’t a necklace I got her. It… it was a collar. From a pet store. 😳🤦 She really liked it, though, so… mission failed successfully?
When I woke, she was practically curled up on my chest, purring. We just stayed like that for most of the morning, curled up against each other. She is so beautiful. I love her.
Oh! Glimmer and Bow came over this afternoon to celebrate Christmas with us! Really, it’s been too long; I’m glad they could make it. Glimmer looks absolutely amazing. She carries herself with the strength of a queen now - I swear, the air almost felt electric with her around. Maybe it’s the new promotion - or maybe she’s always been this way and I just forgot. I’ve missed her so much!
You should have seen the Christmas outfit Bow was wearing! 🤣 I had almost forgotten the tradition he has with his dads. It is SO much more than an ugly Christmas sweater thing. They pretty much make the most over-the-top clothes they can, and a prize goes to the most ridiculous. Bow seems to have created the clothing equivalent of one of those houses with the christmas lights fully synced up to their favorite music. I’m sure he won this year.
He also had these animated reindeer antlers on, and uh… well, I was only just too late to stop Catra from attacking them. It took Glimmer and my combined strength to pull her off of him. And yeah, Glimmer had some choice words about that moment. So, not the highlight of the day, but we all calmed down over some eggnog and gingerbread cookies, and things were fine after that. It’ll probably be some time before Catra really warms up to them - or them to her, for that matter. That’s okay; we have time.
I have to say, having my absolute best friends over and Catra… all these people I love together in one place… it was amazing. Merry Christmas! 🎄