Work Text:
The night on Speer when Rin is born is warm and quiet; even the sea is calm. You can clearly see all the stars in the night sky, because there are no clouds or smoke which could cover them. You can hear kids’ laughter and the melody of ancestors' song, you can hear gentle waves and rustle of leaves in the trees.
But all Hanelai is hearing at that moment is her little daughter’s cry, and this cry makes the young mother’s heart break. She doesn’t want her child to cry, to suffer, never.
She would kill to keep Rin safe.
She would die to keep Rin safe.
・~・~・
Mai’rinnen is so small, she’s even smaller than she should’ve been. And Hanelai is worried, because her child is so tiny and vulnerable, she doesn’t have control over her life yet, she fully depends on others. And it is no secret that the world is a cruel place, dangerous at every turn. Rin could be hurt or killed so easily it makes her mother terrified.
Her little daughter, her sunshine, her biggest love. A child who wasn’t even supposed to be, and yet, here she is, and Hanelai knows she hasn’t made a mistake. Because after all, this is what she has fought for, isn’t it? She wanted Speer to be a better, safer place, so that the next young generation will be able to live a normal life. So that they won’t be forced to serve in the army, won’t be treated like animals, won’t be opium addicted. She wanted it all for her nephews and nieces and now she wants it for Rin as well.
Hanelai looks at the baby she is holding in her arms.
The future of their nation. A ray of hope.
・~・~・
Raising a child alone is not easy, obviously, but she has never expected it to be so. She knew from the very beginning that the universe won’t be merciful. It has never been merciful. Hanelai’s life has been filled with difficulties and obstacles she had to overcome from the very day she was born. Not to mention that for the post of general in Nikara’s army she has paid with tears, blood and mental sanity. But it was worth it in the end. She made her point and she accomplished great things. And there’s still a lot of work to be done.
But the work has to wait. Not now.
Now she’s observing how baby Rin is lying in her cradle and playing with her favourite plushie, which Hanelai’s mother has made for her grandchild. The plushie looks like a reddish and orange-ish bird and oddly resembles a Phoenix. What a grotesque kind of gift. But little Rin seems to like it and it’s all that matters.
Hanelai’s observing and watching, she is making sure that her little daughter is all safe and sound, as the mother always does. There’s no way something will happen to Rin, not when her mother is by her side.
・~・~・
Altan truly adores Rin. When Hanelai was pregnant, he would visit his auntie every day, with a joyous “Is my cousin here already?!” shout. Every single day.
And the day when his cousin finally arrived (Altan was starting to get impatient to meet Rin, so it was a high time), he was looking at the baby with his red eyes wide open, with a serious look on his face. He was very careful not to make even a single loud noise.
“How are you going to name her, auntie?”
“I was thinking about Mai’rinnen. You know, like the queen from old stories. I feel like it would suit her.”
Altan nods and Hanelai smiles.
“Rin,” Altan says quietly. “My little cousin.”
There isn’t even a single day where Altan wouldn’t come to visit his auntie in order to spend some time with Rin. He feels truly responsible for her, even though he is only five. He tells her some stories that father Trengsin and grandfather Trengsin have told him, he plays with Rin with her beloved plushie and he promises that when she is old enough, he will teach her how to fight.
Hanelai looks at these two kids, one hers, one her brother’s, always making sure that nothing bad happens to them.
・~・~・
Hanelai doesn’t know yet what she will say when Rin is old enough to ask about her father. It’s so difficult. Although she regrets nothing, it’s still like a rupture on a tile of a perfect plan, the plan which isn’t even fulfilled yet. The problem that needs to be solved, but she doesn’t know yet how.
Gods.
The world is too cruel for creatures as pure as Rin. If she could just keep her daughter by her side forever, to always make sure that she’s safe and nothing can hurt her-
She knows she can’t, no matter how painful it is. This isn’t how the world works. Kids grow up and they make mistakes and sometimes, they get hurt. And it’s okay. It’s hard, but it’s okay.
One day, Hanelai will watch her daughter trying to walk and run for the first time, and scratching her knee for the first time. She will cry, but that’s okay.
Hanelai can’t wait for her daughter to speak for the first time. What will her first word be? Either way, it’ll be so exciting.
One day, she will watch as Rin tries to write for the first time. She will struggle with holding a pen but she will learn eventually. Of course she will, she’s so bright.
One day, Hanelai will teach her daughter how to fight, so she could protect herself and become a powerful shaman, a pride of their island. Hanelai will be so, so proud of Rin. Actually, she already is.
Hanelai will braid Rin’s hair and teach her how to dance.
They will be taking walks by the sea shore, talking about nothing and everything, like a mother with her daughter. Hanelai will tell Rin beautiful stories, and one day, she will tell her the story of their past.
Hanelai loves her little daughter.
・~・~・
Hanelai never got to see Rin run for the first time, or write, or fight, or dance, or hear her speaking. She never heard her own daughter’s voice.
Her dead eyes are faced towards the barely visible coast of Nikara Empire.
Jiang Ziya. You promised.
Keep our daughter safe.