Part 1

The spring sun was already warming the house with its evening glow when Kym finally heard the keys in the lock turn. He was late again. She didn’t mind William's chaotic hours, she was used to it and she wasn’t one to complain when her own duties often called her at ungodly hours. But lately, she’d noticed her husband was getting more and more tired. Tonight was no exception, as when he shut the door behind him, she could hear him grumble from the bedroom.

William couldn’t believe how nightmarish his day had turned out. Since he’d become captain of the 12th District, his responsibilities had been taking over all the enjoyment he had about his job, and he was still struggling to establish his authority among his lieutenants. But what was worst about all this was that his job sucked up all his time and energy and he barely could ever really relax at home. It felt to him lately like he was only getting home to sleep and going back to it right away. Even though Kym was always supportive and a beam of light in his life, it felt like they hadn’t spent any time together for ages. And right now, he was feeling terribly guilty being late, once again, on this very day. This was supposed to be an evening about Kym, he’d even canceled a couple of meetings to make sure he’d be able to get back home early. But that was forgetting about his coworkers’ ability to procrastinate paperwork.

He however put a smile on his face before looking for his dear wife. He found her in their bedroom, pulling a few outfits out of their wardrobe for him. She was already dressed, wearing a green and red tutu dress. Of course, she was. She had not seen him enter the room, clearly focused on choosing a tie for him. His smile softened, seeing his firecracker of a wife dressed like an 8-year-old kid on her birthday. Well, it was her birthday, and what else could he have expected her to wear?

“You know, I don’t have to wear a tie tonight, it’s not going to be such a formal event.”

She turned to look at him, and her beaming smile- from her genuine joy to see him- transformed immediately into a smirk.

“Oh, my 30th birthday isn’t worth dressing up for the occasion?”

He came closer and put his arm around her waist, pulling her to kiss her forehead. “You know very well it is, love. I just don’t have to look like an uptight police captain for this.”

His eyes fell on a tie that was only slightly poking out from under all his ties in various shades of black, grey, or marine blue. A white tie, with a pattern of clumsily drawn watermelons all over. A tie Kym had gifted him a couple of years ago, more as a joke than a real piece of clothing she’d expected him to wear. She’d made it as part of a secret Santa at the precinct back when he was still working there. He’d never worn it, but tonight seemed like the perfect occasion to. It would go perfectly with her outfit.

Her eyes widened when she saw him take the tie in his hand, and turn to the outfits she’d suggested to choose which one would go best with it.

“I know it’s my birthday, Will, but you don’t have to wear it.” 

He was already undressing from his uniform to put on a new shirt. “I know that, but I feel like wearing it tonight. Some change for once.” He wrapped the tie around his neck and shot her a flirty smile. “What do you think? Does your husband still look boring?”

She grabbed the tie in her hands and adjusted the knot, pulling his face closer to hers. “You never look boring, Mr. Ladell. But right now you look very…” she trailed off, searching for her words. “Well, you look like a tired dad forced to wear his father’s day present.”

He laughed. “Oh well, I kinda like that vibe. I’m keeping it!”

As he turned to finish dressing up, Kym felt a throb in her stomach. He really did look like the perfect dad, and she couldn’t help but feel responsible for him not being one. Added to the fact that he’d been behaving quite off lately with her, she feared he was starting to grow resentful at her for not wanting children.

She didn’t have time to mope for too long as the bell rang downstairs. Lauren was here. She ran to open the door to her friend who was waiting with a big wrapped box in her arms. When Lauren discovered how her friend was dressed, she couldn't repress a cackle.

“Happy birthday! How old are you again? Are you even old enough to drink this?” She took a bottle of what appeared to be champagne out of her bag.

“Don’t tell the cops about this and I’m sure we’ll be fine” replied Kym with a wink, while grabbing the bottle and letting Lauren come into her home.

Will, now fully dressed, came down the stairs to greet their friend. He raised an eyebrow seeing the bottle in Kym’s hand.

“You realized we’re going to a bar and there will be plenty of alcohol there, right?”

Lauren elbowed his side. “Oh come on, Will! What prevents us from starting to celebrate before getting there?”

Kym passed an arm around her shoulders “YES! Let’s pop that bottle!”

As Kym put her words into acts, Lauren was already in the kitchen fetching three flutes. They clinked their glasses in cheerful laughter and started drinking.

“Alright, I’m here to help you guys get ready for tonight. First step, getting you all pumped up, check! Now, I believe there’s a cake to bake!”

She drowned down her glass and settled in the kitchen to get started. Kym and William exchanged a glance. She seemed a bit overly enthusiastic. It felt off.

“Are you ok, Lauren?” William asked as she was already filling her glass again. “Maybe we should slow down and not take too much of a head start before our guests tonight?”

Lauren laughed nervously. She was feeling quite on edge tonight, and it probably showed.

“Yeah, sorry, you’re right. I’ve had a bad day today, I guess I’m a bit over excited at the prospect of tonight to blow off some steam.”

Will frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, Hard case, my partner isn’t too thrilled to work with me since Hermann keeps being on our ass.”

“Ugh!” Lauren knew she could always count on Kym for complaining about their captain. “After all these years, I can’t believe Hermann’s still giving you a hard time. Heavens, I can’t believe he’s still here!”

“I envy our colleagues in the 12th district. I wish you could have stayed and become our captain and put that snake into retirement…”

William hadn’t been able to stay in the precinct when his promotion as captain had been decided. The APD rules did not forbid work relationships- and seeing how the 11th district had turned out that was for the better- but did not look keenly at a captain supervising their spouse as lieutenant. He had been forced to change to the 12th, to everyone’s disappointment.

“I really wish I could have stayed too. To be honest, had I known what the job as a captain over there involved, I maybe wouldn’t have accepted the promotion and I would have stayed with you guys instead.” He sighed. “Sometimes I just want to quit and start over.”

Kym swallowed her champagne sip with difficulty. Again at it he was with his regrets and wishes to change everything…

“Tell me about it! I can’t stand Hermann’s overbearing ass anymore, I wish I could just do my work without him lurking over me constantly. You know, choosing who I work with, which case I work on, having my own schedule, and not having to report on every. single. thing. I do. I mean, come on, man, it’s been nearly 10 years since that Sake incident, I earned my place back as a detective ages ago, but apparently, the badge or even results for a decade won’t ever make him trust me ever again I fear.”

Lauren had officially gotten back her detective badge when her involvement in the fall of the Phantom Scythe had been discovered, several years ago. But the confirmation she’d been a part of Lune and her refusal to give her Phantom Scythe partner away had kept fueling Hermann’s resentment towards her, and he’d never let her out of his sight ever since.

Kym raised her hands, placing herself between the two sad clowns “Alright, alright, people! Maybe let’s try not to whine too much on my birthday? What do you say? Let’s stop the pity party and start the party party!”

Both William and Lauren looked at her fondly. She was right, now wasn’t the time to complain but to celebrate the 30th birthday of the chaotic, unpredictable, fun, and warm human being that was Kym.

“You’re right!” agreed William putting his arm around his wife’s waist. “But for that, we still need to make a cake, darling. So let’s get started, shall we?”

They gathered around the counter, Will and Kym putting the ingredients and baking tools out of the cupboards.

“I really don’t understand why they didn’t have any watermelon at the farmer’s market. That’s a crime against my human rights, we should get them arrested.”

“Wow there, Lieutenant, I think they have extenuating circumstances since, and I hate to break it to you, honey, it’s April, and watermelon season doesn’t start till June” laughed Will as he put a bowl of chocolate chips on the table.

Kym pouted. “But I heard people talk about global warming… I was excited, I thought it would bring summer earlier?”

They all laughed at her falsely disappointed look and got busy making the batter. Lauren didn’t want to ruin her dress and asked for an apron. That made Kym raise an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, it would indeed be a shame to stain that. You do look unusually pretty today. Wow, you even did your hair! And what even is this dress? Is it new?”

Lauren tried to hide her blushing by spinning around to show off the light fabric of her dress skirt.

“It is, I felt like I should look good for you today.”

“Right. And I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that a certain someone RSVPd for the first time in years.”

Lauren laughed a bit too loud to look natural.

“Of course not. Plus he’s coming with someone, so there would be no reason to be excited over this.”

William snorted. After twenty years of being Lauren’s best friend, he’d learned how to read her like an open book. And didn’t need her ability to see right through her lies.

“Sure. You tell yourself that.” Kym exchanged an amused smile with him. She couldn’t escape them, but it was kind of fun to see her try.

“How long has it been since you last saw each other?” asked William, trying to catch Lauren’s avoiding eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know, something like six years? He visited quickly once to meet with a colleague I think. I barely saw him that time though, he was really busy.”

“Wait,” started Kym. “Are you saying you only saw him once since he left? Bruh you were crawling over each other’s mouths for months, suddenly broke up amicably, and then what? Nothing, no contact?

“I’d hardly say we were crawling over each other’s mouth.”

Kym and William didn’t know about Kieran’s involvement in the Phantom Scythe or even their partnership as Lune, though they must have suspected something. When he had decided to leave Ardhalis, he and Lauren had staged a breakup. They needed to end things anyway, they wouldn’t have kept pretending to date forever.

“And not nothing really. We’ve been writing to each other sporadically, but that’s it. I mean, we barely have any relationship at all, I even think the last letters we exchanged were almost a year ago. I don’t really care about him anymore”

“Hmm”. Kym replied noncommittally. She didn’t seem too convinced about that but didn’t push further. She didn’t want to upset Lauren who seemed already anxious. She decided to slightly change the topic of discussion. “So, tonight we’ll be a big dozen people there. I even got Lukas and Lila to agree to come. Ugh, since they’ve had Tim we hardly ever see them…” 

She side-eyed William, who seemed very happy by the first piece of information.

“Oh that’s so nice I miss that bunch, since I left our precinct I seldom get to meet them!” 

Kym felt her chest tighten again.

“Well, you should get to see all your favorite colleagues again tonight! Plus a couple from the investigation unit. And I managed to avoid my parents coming, so we can get as drunk as we want tonight!”

Lauren laughed. “You know, Kym, you’re 30, I don’t think your parents would get mad at you for getting drunk tonight. Or ever, if you want my opinion.”

“Oh I know that, but if they were here I would need to stay sober to temper their unhinged asses.”

They kept talking while finishing up the chocolate cake, and as soon as it finished baking, they started walking towards the bar Kym had privatized for the evening.

Part 2

There were more people than expected in the bar, and Kym was thrilled to see so many friends gathered in her honor. She was jumping from one group to another, quickly catching up with those she hadn’t seen for a while, and teasing those she saw every day, including Lukas. Especially Lukas.

“You’re getting old, Randall. I bet you haven’t caught any blackmail material for ages”

“The night is still young, Ladell, don’t you worry about that,” he hissed between his teeth. He could deny it as much as he wanted, but he was enjoying himself a lot and Kym had noticed it. She even had caught an oh-so-rare smile on his face when his son had kicked Lauren in her knee for refusing to give him a glass of punch. Yeah, that man would never admit it, but he was getting softer as the years passed.

The one Kym was greatly missing from the party was actually Lauren. Even though she was there, smiling and talking from time to time with her former colleagues from the patrol unit, she seemed stuck near the entrance, and Kym had noticed how her eyes were barely leaving the doorway.

Kym approached Lila.

“Look at her. I think I’m gonna need your help to nudge her away from the door. Our girl needs to relax a bit, she’s been so tense from work lately.”

The two women exchanged an understanding look, and Lila felt appointed with a high-importance task. With a nod addressed to Kym, she turned towards the entrance and went to Lauren.

“Hey, lovely Lauren, it’s been too long since we’ve been out together. Let me pour you a drink to celebrate!”

Lauren looked at Lila with a fond smile, and her eyes drifted between her and Kym lurking in the background. Understanding what was happening, she nevertheless accepted her friend’s invitation and followed her into the bar’s depths to share a glass of punch with her.

“I know what you’re doing Lila.”

“I don’t see what you mean, Lauren. Can’t a friend want to catch up with you?”

“I’m sure you do. In any case, thank you. How have you been lately? It’s been ages, you’re right.”

“It really has! I’m good. A bit tired but, eh, you know, parenthood. Tim has taken a liking to music lately, so he sings and dances all over the house all day long.. He can be… a lot sometimes. He can get very grumpy from time to time when he doesn’t receive as much attention as he’d like. Just like his father.”

Lauren chuckled. “I can imagine that. You have a double burden there, but I have no doubt you’re managing these two like a chef. Oh, Lila… I’m so glad to see you, I’ve missed you guys lately. Sometimes I miss working with you all. Now that I’m in the investigation offices I hardly ever see you in the precinct.”

“Lauren, hon, you were too good a detective to be kept in the Patrol Unit.”

“Yeah maybe, but still. I really miss those da-”

She was interrupted when her eyes caught the movement of the door opening. She wished she hadn’t. She wished she had been able to forget about that door. She wished she hadn’t been so focused on each and every person entering the bar. But she had. And now, everything that was around her, her friends partying, Lila, whom she was literally in the middle of a conversation with, Kym’s smirk, everything in the bar seemed to disappear and the only thing she was aware of was the two men entering the bar. One of them being her former partner.

A wave of panic invaded her chest, and she felt the urgent need to excuse herself to Lila and run towards the restroom. She needed to collect herself, and right now. How could she react this way just seeing a face she hadn’t seen for years? Gods she hadn't even caught a good look at him, just seeing his form and his everlasting loose ponytail had been enough to dig up all the burrowed feelings she’d tried to erase for so long.

She was still trying to take control of her breathing when Will appeared in the corridor and extended a hand toward her.

“You’re gonna be OK, I’m right here with you, Ren. Let’s go and meet them together whenever you’re ready.”

Lauren felt a wave of gratitude for her friend, and in that moment, for once, she was glad he knew her so well. She accepted his hand and squeezed it as she gathered the strength to face everyone. When she regained full composure and she was sure the blush on her face could not be distinguished from a slightly inebriated state, she nodded to William and they made their way towards the bar.

All the team was gathered around Kieran and his companion. Lauren remembered then that they were not only her former colleagues but Kieran’s as well. He was grinning, visibly happy to see everyone, and his eyes met hers for an instant, a smile on his lips.

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up, White,” said Kym while giving him a bear hug she only knew how to do.

“Kym, you know I would never miss your 30th birthday!”

“Well, you did miss the previous ones despite my invitations. I wonder what made you change your mind this year.”

“I…” His eyes seemed to flutter in Lauren’s direction. “Well, I missed you a lot and this is no usual birthday, 30 is a big milestone!”

Kym was very dissatisfied by his answer, which was not at all the one she’d wished he’d given. She felt like this was yet again a clever way to evade Lauren’s lie detector. She’d know, she had become some sort of an expert with it. She knew she wouldn’t get a better answer now.

“And sooo… Are you going to introduce us to this handsome lad you came with?” She flashed her eyelashes at the said handsome lad.

Kym’s description of Kieran’s companion was quite accurate. He was a tall dashing man, with curly chestnut-brown hair that cascaded on his shoulders. But what was most striking about him was his smile, genuine joy emanating from his face. His emerald eyes were sparkling with excitement, as he was visibly thrilled to be there. 

“Sure! Everyone, this is my friend Damian Campana! Damian, this is-”

“Oh, wait, let me do it!” Damian interrupted him. He started shaking Kym’s hand. “You’re Kym, the firecracker of the precinct, from what I heard. And you’re William, right? And this is Andrew, Grace, Lila. Oh, is this Grumpy Cat I see behind you?”

“I heard that” replied Lukas, throwing a killing glare in their direction. “I don’t know you yet but I already hate you.”

Damian chuckled “And now I feel included! Oh, and I suppose you’re the infamous Lauren.” He extended his hand towards Lauren, who was too dumbfounded to even answer, and simply shook wordlessly his hand. She noted to herself the softness and delicacy of his skin, thing she wasn’t used to find in a man’s hand. 

“Dang, Damian, did you stalk us or something?” asked Grace. “That’s some impressive guessing you did there. How did you know?”

Damian gave her a heartfelt laugh. “Well, Kieran here never stops drawing your faces and talking about y’all. There are sketches of you all over the walls at home. So I guess I got to know you all through his pencil lines.” He elbowed Kieran's side. “Pretty talented, this one.”

At home. Lauren did not expect these two words to hurt that much. She didn’t flinch, however, and kept her polite smile glued on her face.

Kieran quickly hugged each member of the group gathered around them. Everyone was genuinely happy to see him again as they still remembered that sweet and flirty archivist he was back then.

“It’s a shame you left us, Kieran, the archive room never felt the same without you,” said Lila while she kissed both his cheeks.

Kieran had only stayed a couple of months in his position as secretly-spying-for-the-Phantom-Scythe-archivist. Seeing all these people he’d only worked with for a short while be so excited to see him was quite heartwarming.

He turned towards Lauren who he had not really acknowledged yet. He didn’t know how to approach her. Everyone knew – well, thought – they’d broken up just before he left, and he knew all eyes were locked on them. He wished he could have reunited with her in a more intimate setting. He opted for the same hug he’d given everyone, and when pulling her body against his for a quick embrace, he lingered for a second over her shoulder to whisper in her ear.

“Been a while, Detective. I would love to catch up with you later tonight.”

She nodded silently and quickly turned toward Kym to focus on something, anything else. She gave her the best smile she could produce at that moment and pulled her in the direction of the dance floor. She knew her friend would understand the situation and indulge her.

Kym and William had hired a small group of musicians for the night, and the tune they were playing was quite lively. With an amused smile, Kym grabbed Lauren by the waist and started leading her in a raging foxtrot. Her eagerness pulled a laugh from Lauren, who let her swing her form all across the room. She felt lucky to have friends that understood her so well and were willing to go to such lengths to take her mind off her worries, even when she refused to admit them to them.

When the tune slowed down to a balad, they kept dancing but adjusted their pace to the new rhythm. Kym pulled Lauren closer and wrapped her arms around her neck. Lauren let her head rest on her friend’s shoulders.

“Thanks, Kym. I owe you for this.”

“I know, I’m a great dancer. You should feel honored that I blessed you with a dance.”

Lauren was astonished by Kym’s ability to say such things without lying. That woman had self-esteem that went through the roof.

“Are you better now? You were practically shaking back there.” There was a hint of worry in Kym’s voice. As much as she loved teasing Lauren about Kieran, she didn’t like to see her as tense.

“I’m better. We should probably get back to the others soon though.”

Instead of releasing her, Kym tightened her hold on Lauren.

“Wait. Not just yet. I- I think I too need this right now.”

Lauren frowned at this. Kym had always mastered the art of hiding any pain or worry she experiences behind a curtain of jokes and cheerfulness. Lauren had learned over the years how Kym’s way to process things was different from most people, and she usually needed space to handle her problems by herself. Lauren had learned to trust her to be able to reach out whenever she needed to, and that was rare.

She slightly pushed Kym away from her, just enough that she could see her face. She realized her friend was on the verge of tears and immediately pulled her back in a tight embrace.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what it is. It’s probably me panicking because I’m aging, right?”

“Yeah, probably,” Lauren didn’t need to point out the obvious lie there. “Is it work-related?”

Kym scoffed bitterly. “I think like I’m the only one fine with her work actually. You guys seem miserable lately, but I on the other hand really like where I’m at right now. It’s so fun, I love it.”

“That’s good, Kym! I’m glad you’re enjoying work. But then what is it? Everything alright with Will?”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s great, he’s great, I love that dummy. But I don’t know, he’s been… He’s been so caught up with his work we barely see each other - but I’m fine with it - and he seems sad all the time. I fear that he’s not happy, he keeps talking about change and… I don’t know… I think part of me fears that I am a part of that change if that makes sense?”

“You know Will is ridiculously in love with you and you are in no single scenario part of any change he might want to have, right?”

“I know, I know. But I feel like maybe he’s been holding himself back because of me for some things. That I may be stopping him from experiencing some things. I don’t know, Laur, my mind is a mess right now.”

“Are you thinking about something in particular?”

“No.”

“Kym…”

“Kids.”

Lauren raised her eyebrows with surprise. “What about them? I thought you guys didn’t want any.”

“ I don’t want them. Lately, I’ve been asking myself if I could have somehow swayed his answer when we talked about it.” She buried her face in Lauren’s shoulder to hide her tears. “I think he’s beginning to regret it and I fear he would resent me for it.”

Lauren’s heart throbbed for her friend in pain. “I think you need to trust him about this. I don’t think he would ever resent you for something like this. Have you tried talking about it with him?”

“No. I’m too afraid of what could come out of it. Lauren, I really, really don’t want any children. I’m not going to change my mind about this. But I love him so much, I don’t want to lose him…”

“Wow, I think you’re jumping to the conclusion too quickly there. Kym, William loves you, he’s the most loyal and honest man I’ve ever met. You guys need to talk about it. Don’t let this consume you. Especially not on your birthday, this is supposed to be a joyful night. Put all this in a corner of your mind, forget it for now and let’s dance!”

Even though the musicians was still playing a slow tune, Lauren grabbed Kym by the wrist and, with a playful grin, she spun her under her arm and dipped her in an over-dramatic pose. That drew a chuckle from her friend, who answered this by pulling her face close with a flirtatious gaze. Lauren couldn’t repress the guffaw that took her, and they both lost their balance and fell on the floor in a loud noise of laughter. Helping Lauren get back up on her feet, Kym mouthed “Thank you.” and then turned to their friends who were all looking at them now, and gave them a theatrical bow..

“Umm, excuse me? Can I have everyone’s attention please?” The singer had taken advantage of the audience’s focus directed towards the dance floor. “Someone requested a moment to play something for the lady of the hour. I feel like now is the right moment, so please, everyone, give your warmest applause for Mr. William Ladell!”

All the guests clapped their hands to encourage Will, who sent a wink to Kym as he climbed onto the stage to sit behind the piano. The singer set the microphone so that Will would be able to sing while playing, and the lights in the room dimmed except for one spotlight directed at him. His hands started dancing on the piano keys, creating a soft melody.

When I am with you can’t get much better
Light as a feather sun in my hair
Out of the dark away from the madness
Funny it happens whenever you’re there

His voice was tender, and his eyes locked into Kym’s. Nothing else in the room interested him at that moment.

When I get lonely like I’m the only
Soul on this journey I travel for miles
On the horizon I see your eyes
And something just happens
When I see you smile.

Lauren’s hand was still in Kym’s since they’d gotten up, and she squeezed it slightly. Kym was holding her chest with her free hand, eyes fluttering with awe and love for her husband.

And You make me so very happy
The things you say and the things that you do
You’re extraordinary and I just want to tell you baby I love you

Lauren leaned on Kym’s shoulder and whispered in her ear “Told ya” with a snicker, but she was pushed away without so much as a glance.

“Shhh, I’m listening.”

With a chuckle, Lauren released Kym’s hand and started to turn away, when her eyes met two azure pupils that were staring at her. Kieran smiled at her and made a movement with his head suggesting to meet away from the crowd. 

Here’s to thе good times here’s to thе old times
All of the moments through thick and through thin
I’ll pick you up and carry you with me
And we’ll just enjoy any trouble we’re in.

“It’s been a while,” started Kieran once Lauren had joined him by the bar. “It’s good to see you, you look fine.”

He was his elbows on her counter, mesmerizing eyes peering at her keenly. Lauren could feel her heart beating through her dress, and she could have sworn it was visible. She cursed herself for reacting this way. This was just Kieran, they’d known each other for ages now, nothing to panic about. She was just excited because she hadn’t seen him for so long. 

“So do you. How have you been? What’s new?”

“You know what? I am pleased to announce to you that nothing’s new, really. For once, at last, my life has become somewhat of a routine without too many surprises.”

She chuckled. “So… Boring, then?”

“Oh gods, Lauren, yes. So boring! What is life without Kym’s shenanigans and our little adventures?”

***

When his song ended, thunderous applause exploded in the crowd for William. But all that mattered was the way Kym was looking at him right then. This was worth all the songs in the world, and even though William never loved performing in front of a crowd, for Kym’s smile he’d face it any day. 

His hands continued to play with the keys, almost automatically, as he started a new melody, one he didn’t need to sing over this time. He loved playing piano so much. That was one of the very few things from his childhood he loved. This and Lauren. It pained him that he didn’t get to play so much lately because of work. He wished he could, and promised himself to play for Kym more often since it seemed that she enjoyed it very much. She deserved to enjoy every moment she experienced. 

He hadn’t seen Tim approaching him, and noticed him only when the 4-year-old boy sat next to him on the bench. The kid looked at him with sparkling eyes.

“You alright, Tim? Wanna play the piano with me?”

The boy’s eyes widened with excitement.

“Yes! Can I try please, sir?”

William smiled. He recognized Lila’s warmth and politeness there and indulged him. He lifted him to put him on his lap, just at the right height to reach the piano. 

“You see if you push this key, it makes that sound.” He put the boy’s finger on a white key and showed him. “Then, you can do this, and it starts making music. Let’s try together.” He slowly helped Tim through the notes of Twinkle twinkle little star, to the child's utmost amazement. 

Kym was looking at them from a distance, the joy and passion she’d felt for Will a second before being wiped away by the return of her fears in an instant. 

“He seems good with kids.”

At first, she didn’t recognize the voice coming from behind her. When she turned to see Damian, she realized it was because she barely knew this one. Oh boy, he didn’t know how much she didn’t need to hear that.

“Yup.” She didn’t want to be rude but didn’t want to engage in this conversation nonetheless.

“Is he a music teacher?”

She looked at Damian with surprise. Where did that come from?

“He’s not. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I don’t know, a professional pianist good with kids, you know…”

“Wait, he’s not a professional pianist either . Did Kieran not tell you he’s a cop?”

“Oh! Yes! Guess I forgot. He doesn’t look like a cop though. Maybe it’s the tie… Sorry, I met a lot of new people tonight, it’s hard to keep track.”

Kym chuckled. “You’re fine, Damian, no worries.”

“But for real, if he ever wants to take his business elsewhere, I know people who would die to hire such a pianist.”

Kym gave him an interrogative look. 

“Oh, yeah I guess I didn’t tell you. I’m an orchestra leader in Rosebridge. I can identify talent when I see it and your husband is definitely one talented man.”

“Oh! Is Rosebridge where you guys live?”

“Yes, I met Kieran when I visited the art school with the orchestra a couple of years ago.”

“Oh, that’s nice. So I take it you teach music there as well?”

“Oh! Gods no, I leave that to the professionals. I was only there to give them a little show and introduce them to the instruments. Kids? Ugh, no thanks.”

She laughed softly. After all, she liked that guy. 

“You should go talk with Will tonight. He loves to share his passion for music and would be elated to speak with you.”

“I intend on doing just that,” Damian replied with a wink.

Before he turned his feet to get to the stage, Kym held him back by catching his arm.

“Hey Damian, I’m glad Kieran brought you with him. It’s really nice to meet you tonight.”

He threw a charming smile at her before heading toward Will.

Part 3

Catching up with Kieran was extremely enjoyable for Lauren. She’d realized that, once she’d gotten warmed up, their old banter habits were quick to return and she felt just as much at ease with him as she once was. She’d missed it.

“So how are the kids treating you at school?”

“Oh they’re great. They’re the easiest, I love drawing with them. It’s with the adults that I sometimes have more trouble.”

“Oh yes? That’s strange, I would have thought you’d get a lot of success with adults.”

“Don’t laugh ok? That's actually part of the problem.” He chuckled nervously. “I swear, I’m gonna snap if I need to put up with one more person swooning at me instead of drawing.”

Lauren snickered. “Swooning at you?”

“Yes.” He took an overdramatic voice. “Please Kieran, can you show me the muscles on your arm so that I can draw them more accurately? Oops! I dropped my brush, let me slooowly retrieve it and flash my butt at you. Oh Mr White you have such large hands, are those calluses there because you handle brushes all day long?”

She snorted.

“Yeah. I figured I shouldn’t tell them why for this one.. Oh, I didn’t even tell you the worst one. Oh please Kieran, can I put some paint on your skin to check I have the right shade to paint you?”

“Wow, that really happened?”

“More than once!” he exclaimed. “Never subtle. I’m actually considering dropping adult classes. It’s starting to be insufferable.”

“Oh that does seem like hell!” Now that she was more comfortable, she allowed herself to look at him more carefully. He mostly hadn’t changed. The most notable exception was how he smiled. He didn’t smile that much before, and now she noticed smiling suited him wonderfully. Small lines were drawn under his eyes every time he did, a residual trace of his joy. She liked it. 

“And how are you, Detective? I gather you stopped investigating at night in secret? That’s a shame…”

“Well, I don’t have my subordinate by my side to save me from danger anymore, so I figured I should remain on the lawful tracks now.”

“I stand by what I said, that’s a shame.” He paused, looking into her eyes, for longer than comfortable for Lauren. He was about to say something when Kym appeared from behind him, putting her arms around both of them.

“Well well well, what a sweet reunion we got here! Are you reminiscing about old memories? I hope I’m not interrupting.” 

“You didn’t interrupt anything, Kym.” Lauren groaned. ”Kieran is all yours, I’m heading to your husband for a sec. Catch you guys later!”

Even though Lauren loved Kym with all her heart, right now she’d preferred if she had not come. Waving goodbye at them, she turned her feet toward William.. 

Once Lauren was out of ear’s reach, Kym turned a mischievous face to Kieran.

“So… I talked with your boyfriend just now.”

***

As Lauren made her way to the scene, she saw William absorbed in his discussion with Damian. They seemed to get along quite well. When she reached them, they greeted her with a smile and stopped talking.

“Oh, please, don’t stop for my sake, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Damian flashed a beaming smile at her.

“No worries, Lauren. William was just telling me about his duties as a captain. Do you work with him?”

“We used to work together,” answered William, “but I had to leave the precinct when I was promoted.”

“Which was a great shame, if you want my opinion.” The voice came from behind Lauren, and Grace appeared to be climbing on the scene to join them. “You make a way better captain than you-know-who.”

“Oh you work in the same precinct as well, Grace?”

“I do.”

“Are you a forensic?”

Will, Lauren and Grace shared a bewildered look.

“Ok, Damian, how do you do it? I must ask again, did you stalk us or something? We could arrest you for that”

Damian burst out laughing.

“I swear I didn’t, Grace. It’s just a guess. Your skin is quite pale while it’s been really sunny lately. So you’re not a patrol officer. You have delicate hands, so I guess you don’t handle firearms. Sure you could be an archivist, but you’re not since it was Kieran’s job. Then, the skin on your fingers seems a little bit dry, probably by wearing chemical gloves all day long. I just figured, a forensic, that seems to fit. I take it I was right.” He was wearing a proud smile.

“You sure know how to compliment a lady as well, I see. I look pale? I have dry skin?”

“I think you forgot about the delicate fingers part, darling.”

Lauren chortled and William leaned toward her ear.

“He reminds me of someone,” he whispered.

“For real, thought, Damian, that is some strong detective skills you have there. Did you ever think about joining the force?”

“Ha, Grace, and to think I was the one trying to recruit tonight.” He glanced furtively at William. “But please, do tell me more about your job, it seems fascinating.”

He offered his arm to her, and they started walking away, visibly enjoying their discussion. William stood up, letting the pianist take back his seat and play along with the rest of the musicians.

“Glass of watermelon juice?” he offered, waving at a table full of empty glasses and with a half-full jar of reddish juice. “I think Kym’s the only one who drank that so far.”

Lauren accepted the offer, a fresh drink would do her some good. 

“You look better than earlier.”

“I feel better than earlier.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for caring, old friend.”

“Always, small one.”

“What about you? I didn’t want to pry in front of Kym earlier, but you seem really down with work lately. Are you ok?”

“I’m not sure. I really need a break, I think. I need to think about what I really want in my life, I think I’ll be reaching my wits’ end soon if things don't change.”

“And what kind of change do you have in mind?”

***

“Would you look at those two. What do you think they’re talking about?”

Kym pointed at William and Lauren, talking as they stole some of her watermelon juice.

“Oh, that seems pretty obvious to me. Oh, Lauren, it is so hard to be in love with Kym, we haven’t talked for 5 minutes and I miss her so much I’m dying. -Well at least you get to get home with her every night, William. It breaks my heart every day when I need to say goodbye and she leaves home. I want her for myself.”

“Yeah, definitely that. Not at all whining about their jobs.”

“Oh gods, I heard about that. Does Will complain about that too?”

“ALL. THE. TIME!!! Dude, I tell you, I love him, and that sucks that he’s miserable. But whenever Lauren’s around, that’s all they talk about. I feel bad because I can’t help them, and now I feel bad for complaining about them too.”

“I guess they need to figure things out about this.” Kieran patted Kym on her shoulder. “It’s alright to feel annoyed sometimes, even when he’s not good. I’m sure you’re still always supportive. And, hey! If you want to grizzle, you can always come to me. I love grizzling with you.”

“You might regret that later, White.” She felt like he was giving her a challenge. “So let me tell you about Hugues Hermann, or, as I like to call him, Huge Vermin.” 

She started telling him about all the stories involving Hermann being a killjoy in the precinct, from that one time he’d given them one year's worth of paperwork to do in a week, forcing them to work day and night without any sleep, to the constant bullying he was doing to Lauren. There were so many stories to tell, and Kieran seemed delighted to hear them. It was nice finding their groove back. She really liked him and had found it weird when he and Lauren had broken up. There was definitely more to those two than what they had let people know, and though she’d always been curious about the real nature of their relationship, a part of herself knew she didn’t really need nor wanted to know.

She lured him towards the food table, where some burgers had just been added and were steaming hot. Challenging him to an eating contest, she did not stop her blabbering even when she shoved the burgers in her mouth. Kieran was amused to see her so enthusiastic and realized how much he’d missed her. They had not been the closest friends when he was in Adhalis back then, but he’d always enjoyed the moments he’d shared with her. 

They were both so absorbed in their competition that they did not notice Lauren and William coming closer. Kym was still going on about their insufferable captain, her mouth trying to chew and speak at the same time.

“I'm pretty sure one way for Hermann to be pushed into retirement is for a certain lieutenant to be promoted captain in her own precinct,” said William while catching Kym’s waist. “I think this time she wouldn’t have to change precincts, since her husband is already working in another one.”

She swallowed the rest of her bite quickly. “You wish! I have you at home complaining about being a captain. I have no desire whatsoever to become one as well.” She welcomed him with a kiss on his cheek and fluttered her eyelashes at him. She talked in a low, flirtatious voice. “Hey. It’s been a while.”

He answered with his own charming smile he alone knew how to make. “It has. May I have this dance, dear wife?”

He offered her his hand.

“Why, sure, my beloved. Lead the way.”

She did not have time to wave goodbye to their friends before he pulled her away toward the dancefloor. Lauren laughed softly looking at them.

“I can’t believe it took them so long to realize how much in love they were. What a bunch of idiots.”

Kieran did not answer. They watched with affection Kym and William spinning at the tune’s pace for a while.

“I know it’s been a few years,” Kieran began, extending his hand to Lauren, “but I’m sure you remember I’m quite a fine dancer.”

“Well, if I remember correctly, you were so caught up in our little tango I had to spot Anslow with my head upside down.”

“You know you loved it, darling.”

A warm feeling was triggered at the call back of the old term of endearment. It sometimes really felt like they were back to being partners. She took his hand, and he led her slowly to the dance floor. As she followed him, she couldn’t help but notice how much softer his hands were from her memories, despite what his flirting students seemed to think.. She figured he didn’t handle his sword so much anymore and his skin had had time to heal over the years.

The tune was quite slow, for which Lauren was grateful. They would be able to keep catching up. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she put hers on his shoulders. 

As they started moving slowly, he gazed at her.

“You look beautiful tonight.” His eyes were all over her. “The years have been kind to you, you haven’t changed much.”

Lauren looked at him disconcerted. He used to always mix his compliments with a teasing comment or a flirtatious joke. This, however, sounded genuine, without any blather. That felt… weird. She gave him a mocking smile.

“You don’t look too bad either. I see, however, some strands of white hair trying to hide in your bun, subordinate.”

He chuckled. “Well, even the Purple Hyacinth has to dance with the Lady of Time.”

“Then I sure hope he’s a good dancer.”

“Hmm, wouldn’t you like to know?” His smirk transformed into an inscrutable look, as he delicately took one of her locks of hair between his fingers.

“Your hair is shorter. It suits you.” He placed it behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her dangling earring. The shiver that took her had then nothing to do with the entrance door opening and closing behind guests leaving, letting in draughts of cool air. “I never realized your ears were pierced. Is that new?”

“No, they have been since I was a child. I just don’t wear earrings often.” She snickered when she met his eyes. “I guess there are still some things for you to discover about me.”

“Color me intrigued. What secrets does Lauren Sinclair still keep hidden from me?”

“Hmm, wouldn’t you like to know?”

They shared a soft laugh and fell into a comfortable silence for a while. No matter how many years had passed, once they were past the first discomfort of their reunion, it felt natural to be together. Their gestures, their banter, it all felt right.

Kym and William were still dancing not far from them. Kym’s head was resting on her husband’s shoulder as they slowly swayed at the music’s pace. 

“Kym seems a bit less anxious than earlier,” Kieran noted.

“Oh, you noticed? Yeah, I think these guys have some things to figure out and talk about together.”

“Yeah, they should communicate and stop hiding their feelings,” he scoffed a bit dryly.

Lauren squinted at him but he was deadpan. “You’re rather cryptic tonight.”

He strengthened his hold around her, swinging her frame across the room.

“Well, we did talk about saving some mystery for one another,” he answered with a grin.

Lauren smiled at him, somewhat marveling at the fact they were still falling into place so easily. She’d missed it. 

She suddenly remembered, to her deepest shame, that Kieran hadn’t come alone. She’d been so caught up in enjoying his presence she’d forgotten he was very much accompanied. However, she couldn’t see his companion anywhere.

“Where’s Damian? Did he leave without you?” She asked while pushing him slightly away from her.

Kieran had a soft scoff. “Well, he seemed to hit it off quite well with Grace, I think I saw them leave together a while ago.”

“Oh… Oh! Wait. Weren't you two…” she trailed off, realizing she’d been drawing hasty conclusions.

He raised an eyebrow, his smile turning to a mocking grin. “My, my! Did my favorite Detective lose her skills when I was away?” 

Ugh. Eight years had passed and he still was the same irritating man.

“But he talked about your drawings at home…”

“He’s my roommate, love, so we indeed share a home. Did you really think we were a couple? I did say he was my friend.”

Lauren could have slapped herself right then. She’d been overwhelmed by the mixed feelings that came with Kieran's reappearance she hadn’t been thinking straight. However now was not the time to show him she was disconcerted, and she replied more dryly than she wanted to:

“Well, I lived with Tristan regularly meeting his “friend” Dakan for years.”

“Fair point.” He chuckled. “Well, we’re not. That would be quite impossible actually, he’s only interested in women, and I’m already…” 

He stopped, knowing full well that what would come next would contain way more information than what he was willing to share at the moment. As she started opening her mouth, a troublesome question forming on her lips, he followed up quickly, pulling the rug from under her. 

“You came alone tonight.”

“I did.”

If Lauren noticed the smile her answer sparked, she did not show it. 

“I guess it’s getting late. Would you care for a stroll under the moonlight?” He offered her his arm. 

Turning her head around them, she realized there were not a lot of people left. Kym and William were already helping the bar owner tidy up the place, which was already quite clean. They didn’t look like they would need any more help. With a smile, she then accepted Kieran’s invitation and slipped her hand on his forearm.

Part 4

When Kym and William finally got home, she was uncharacteristically silent. William had not been oblivious to Kym’s mood tonight. As much as she’d tried to hide her anguish with her smile, he knew something was troubling her. He had decided not to pry during the party, that was not the right moment, but now they were home he wanted to talk it out with her.

She’d gone straight to the bedroom and when he entered the room shortly after her, she was already undressing to put on her nightgown. He sat by the dressing table, removing his tie and watching her hurrying to bed. Once he was in his night clothes as well, he slipped under the sheets by her side. She was turned the other way. Bracing himself, he stayed half sat and put his hand on Kym’s arm, pulling her gently so that she’d turn a bit, but she didn’t budge.

“Kym, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired, that was a big day today.”

“I know. But that's not just it, right?” She exhaled. Her breath was shaking. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew she was trying to hide her tears. “Hey, my love, please talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

She put her hand on the one he’d put on her arm but didn’t answer for a while. After a minute or two, she slowly turned to face him, hiding against his chest, her eyes shut.

“I’m afraid.”

He put his hand on her head, soothingly stroking her hair. He waited for her to continue at her own pace.

“You’ve been down in the dumps for a while now because of your job. You’ve seemed unhappy for a while now. And I- I don’t know what to do to relieve you. I can’t-”

“Hey, hey, Kym.” William slipped his arm under her neck and lounged to hold her close. “You’re not responsible for my being unhappy at work.”

“But it’s not only just your work though...”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been talking about starting all over. Wanting to change everything. Am.. Am I a part of that?”

“What? Kym, I wouldn’t change you for anything in the world.” His heart hurt seeing she could think he’d want that.

“Even i- if I was holding you back from your happiness?”

“What are you even talking about? Kym, you’re my light, you’re my Soleil, remember? You’re not holding me back from my happiness, you’re pulling me into it.”

“But I’m keeping you from being a father...” Tears were falling on the sheets. She was holding onto his arm, as if he would vanish at her words.

He took the softest voice he could gather. “Honey, where does this come from? We talked about that, we both agreed we didn’t want children. Why would you think I’d change my mind?”

“Because I pressured you into it.”

“Kym Ladell, love of my life, I can assure you, I let you pressure me into things I want, and I never felt like you imposed anything on me. Especially not on such a matter.”

“You’re not having second thoughts?”

“About kids? Heavens no!” He paused for a second. “You know, you’re plenty to handle yourself. I don’t need more!” He was trying to lighten the mood, but wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. She was the expert of that, not him.

She chuckled softly, to his relief.

“I’m sorry, I’m a mess. I was scared for a second.”

Will laughed softly. “Well, I guess we kept the tradition going tonight. 30th birthdays are chaotic with us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, remember mine?”

“Your father had died a week before.”

“Yes. Even in death he managed to ruin something that wasn’t about him. I was working so hard to prove myself to get the promotion at the time I was exhausted. And when my birthday came, I forgot you were planning a dinner for me.”

“You thought I’d leave you because you were working too much.”

“I completely panicked, I was sure you were resenting me and you would leave me over dinner.”

Kym chuckled. “What a dumdum. I was trying to make a restful night for you, just the two of us, and you fled the house because you were too afraid to talk to me.”

“I’m glad you ran after me that night.” He squeezed her small frame in his arms. “And do you remember Lauren’s 30th?”

“Oh, do you mean the night known as the one Lauren tried to burn all of Kieran’s letters?”

“That very one. You know, I was actually surprised you seemed fairly alright all night long. I almost thought you were breaking the curse.”

“I think that Damian guy made me overly sensitive and anxious, making comments about how you looked good with kids.”

“Hmm.” William nodded noncommittally, which was unusual for him.

“What is it?”

“I may have something to talk to you about, but I didn’t think tonight was the right moment.”

“William L. Ladell, tell me what it is right now before I lose my mind again.”

He raised an eyebrow at the new nickname.

“Well, I did talk a lot about being dissatisfied with work and wanting a change. Up until tonight, this was all very abstract, but then I talked with Damian. Did you know he’s an orchestra leader?”

“Yeah he told me about it. Said you were talented and he wanted to recruit you.”

“Hmm, he didn’t want to recruit me but someone else. Apparently, an old friend of his is a piano teacher here in Ardhalis, at the music conservatory, and he wants him to join his orchestra.”

“What does it have to do with you?”

“Well, the guy has been refusing for years because there’s no one to replace him as a teacher if he leaves, and he doesn’t want to leave his students without making sure they have a good teacher after him.”

“Oh. Damian did mention you were an incredible player. I didn’t pay too much mind because I already knew that, though I might be biased.”

William laughed softly against her hair, and put a light kiss on her forehead.

“And you said he noticed I was good with kids. That’s why he told me about all this. He thinks I could be a good piano teacher, good enough to convince his colleague to join him in Rosebridge and leave me his position.”

“And you’d quit your position as a captain?”

“I would. This is all hypothetical, Kym, and if I went through it, that would change a lot in our life. The pay would be considerably lower, we wouldn’t be able to share as much as before about work, I’m not even sure I’d be more available...”

“Will” She wiggled away to see his face better and put her hands on his cheeks. “The only thing I need in my life is that you’re safe and happy. I don’t care about money, we have more than we need anyway. I don’t care about long hours, we already do that and we’re fine. I don’t care about talking about our cases, you’ll tell me about music instead and I’ll be happy about it. The question is, do you want to leave the APD? Is this something you want? If you do, then I’ll support you with all my heart.”

He took one of her hands and kissed her knuckles one by one, deeply moved by her words though they didn’t surprise him for one bit.

“I think I’d be happy if that happened.”

“Then there you go.” She chuckled softly, both relieved about their talk and excited about her dear William’s prospects. She really could imagine him teaching music to kids, that suited him so well. The events of the day and night had drained her from her energy, and all of a sudden, tiredness took over her whole body, triggering an enormous yawn.

She nestled more comfortably into Will’s warm arms, and closed her eyes. He turned his bedside lamp off and promptly took back his position against her. As she was still lazily caressing his chest with her fingertips, he whispered faintly in her ear

“William L. Ladell. That was for “Lame”, wasn’t it?”

She breathed more than said her answer. “You know me so well, Willame.”

Her breathing steadied into a regular rhythm as she sank into slumber against him.

***

Lauren and Kieran’s steps had led them to stroll along the Eastern shore. The night was calm and only the sound of the small waves crashing against the rocks disturbed the silence. On their way there from the bar, they’d crossed the Golden Clover and old memories had resurfaced. Yellow-tinted images of what once had been Lune. Kieran had never been able to forget Lauren that night, the version of her he’d met who could be teasing, terrifying, deadly efficient. Stunning. Reminiscing about that night together, several years later, had felt somewhat soothing to him. She’d looked like she was holding these memories dear and wasn’t bitter about that time.

After walking along the coast for a while, they stopped to sit on the edge of a pier, their feet hanging above the water. The closest building and streetlamp were quite far, but the full moon’s shine was giving enough light to enjoy each other’s presence, as its reflection glistened on the moving sea. Staring at the stars in the cloudless sky, they stayed like that for a while, as they told each other’s life. They were rediscovering their bond, falling back into the comfort of their easy conversing. 

After a moment they wouldn't be able to measure, it felt like they didn’t need to talk anymore. As quiet settled between them, Kieran started to move his legs back to the ground so that he could get back up, but Lauren’s hand fell on his and he stopped.

“Why are you here?” She asked abruptly. She was glad he was there, obviously, but couldn’t help but wonder what had driven him to come this time.

A soft smile appeared on Kieran's lips. “Why, you hurt me, darling. Kym is my friend too. She invited me and I gladly came.”

She raised an eyebrow. “But you never came to anything, why now?”

“If I told you I missed you terribly would you believe me?” 

“Need I remind you I can hear lies? I’d believe you if that was true. Did you?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” Lauren repressed the spark of joy this triggered. “Did it take nearly ten years for you to start missing me?”

Of course not. He’d missed her the very second he’d stepped foot out of Ardhalis. He’d missed her every day he’d been away. But he couldn’t allow himself to be this selfish. To keep imposing his dark presence on her. To remind her every day through his existence alone of all the suffering she’d been through, suffering he’d had a part in. No, the real answer was that after ten years the empty space she’d left in his heart had become unbearable, and he couldn’t help but be somewhat selfish just for tonight. 

However he couldn’t show this to her. He’d been away for that very reason, and was leaving the next day anyway. So instead he offered her his on-brand smirk.

“Do I detect sadness in your question, love? Did you miss me so?”

“Of course, I did, Kieran.” Her outspokenness caught him off-guard. He wished his heart hadn’t fluttered the way it had at this answer. “We spent months working nights and days to end the Phantom Scythe. We fought together, investigated together, almost died together. You were the person I was closest to, the one who knew me best. And then, suddenly, a couple of weeks after it all went down, you just told us you were leaving. No notice, no time to really say goodbye, you just left. Honestly Kieran, I hated you for this for a while.” 

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves around Lauren’s form. He couldn’t help himself. He’d been such an idiot. Leaving because his self hatred couldn’t allow him to consider the possibility that she could have actually wanted him in her life. Leaving to protect her ended up hurting her anyway. 

“I needed to leave. I needed time away to heal and start over. As someone who wasn’t the Purple Hyacinth, among people I’d never made suffer, in a place where every street didn’t remind me of a murder I committed. In a place where I wouldn’t remind anyone of what I’d done. I’m sorry, I never wanted you to hurt in the process.”

“Hm.” She leaned into the embrace for a moment. “Did you find what you were looking for, then?”

“Yes and no. I found peace. But I lost something I was not aware at the time I was not willing to lose.”

“What was that?”

Kieran held her eyes for a moment. “You,” he answered. “Leaving you behind was the hardest thing I did in my whole life and there has not been a single day I did not regret that decision. When I left, I lost the only person I could share my deepest secrets with, the only one I genuinely cared about, and I never felt whole since.”

His voice was shaking more than he wished it did, but it felt so good to say that out loud to her. Finally. Still, he was feeling awfully selfish for displaying his heart out in the open that way, for hitting her with the rawness of his feelings. 

For what seemed to him an eternity, but was more probably just a few seconds, she did not move. She did not speak, hell, she did not even seem to breathe. 

After a while, though, she sighed heavily, pulled herself away from the embrace, but stayed close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. “I am a bit pissed at you right now.”

There it was. He should have never come back. He should have kept it all bottled up like he’d been doing for the last 8 years. Why did he have to say all this to her? After all, that had worked quite well so far. Why did he have to say this to her? Why did he have to ruin it all?

“Why is that?” he asked with a heavy heart.

“I’m realizing how much I love being with you and it hurts knowing you’re leaving tomorrow again.” She raised her face to meet his eyes. The ocean in his irises looked like a storm of thoughts she couldn’t decipher.

Oh.

“Should I have not come back?”

“You know that’s not it. I’m glad to see you.” She started fidgeting and avoided his mesmeric glare. “I just feel… Like I’ve been missing out on you for all those years, and I don’t want to stay that way anymore.”

His hand appeared in her field of vision, grabbing one of hers very softly.

“I may have a suggestion for that.”

Lauren looked at him fazed. “What is it?”

The most tender smile drew itself on his lips.

“When I leave, come with me. Don’t miss out on me any more.”

What? Did she hear that right?

“Leave Ardhalis, just like that? Are you serious?”

He had a feeble laugh and looked away. 

“Half serious. Though I’d love to see you every day, I know there’s no way you’d leave your life here for Rosebridge where there’s nothing for you.”

“Hey, stop that, Kieran. You couldn't be farther from nothing.” She did not know when or how their fingers intertwined, but now that she had noticed, she tightened her grip and leaned toward him trying to catch his eyes. She couldn’t bear the self loathing he constantly put himself under, as if he didn’t mean anything to anyone, as if he didn’t mean anything to her. “You’d make the trip worthwhile any day. At least for me.”

“Wait. Are you seriously considering coming back with me?”

She considered his question for a second, resting her forehead against his. She wanted nothing more than to be by his side. The more she was thinking about leaving, the more it was making sense. 

“Why not? I really need a break from work anyway. I could come see you… stay with you for a while…”

It seemed to dissipate the cloud of confusion that was all over his face. He was starting to get it. Their faces were now so close he could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips. He could see the softness of her skin. He could smell the sweet scent of her hair. Her eyelashes fluttered, eyes locked on his lips. His voice was now barely more than a whisper. 

“Would you… would you stay with me forever?”

Her eyes met his again, and he lost himself in the glowing honey-like shade of them. When she answered, her lips were so close to his he could have sworn he felt them graze his own.

“I think I just might.”

It would be hard to say which of the two closed the narrow space between their lips. That was not what mattered. When their lips met, it was as if they had waited for each other for years. Which, well, was the case. They lost each other in that touch, in that soft kiss they hadn’t dared imagine for fear of never getting to experience it. It only lasted for an instant, as Kieran pulled out with a bashful chuckle.

“Er, Lauren, could you maybe release my hand?”

She lowered her eyes, realizing she’d been hanging onto his fingers so tightly his fingertips were turning white. She released his hand, and she didn’t have time to form an apology on her lips that Kieran’s were already back on them, as he had immediately put both of his hands on her cheeks to pull her closer. 

Having one more hand was indeed quite useful and Lauren made the most of it, using her newly freed hand to reach Kieran’s mane, soft silk slipping between her fingers. If their first kiss had had the taste of an introduction, a tender greeting, this one was more eager. There was everything to discover and they had been waiting for this for years. They relished in each other’s touch, taste, scent. There was a restlessness to their gestures.

Adjusting her position to embrace Kieran more comfortably, Lauren dived her hands under his coat, anxious to feel his warmth, to catch the feel of his form through his shirt. There was relief in their embrace, as all the adrenaline, all the tension built up to this moment was lifting from their chest, and they could just give in to this languid kiss. They were melting into each other, their lips parting only to meet every inch of uncovered skin. Kieran’s head was spinning- be it because he was breathing haphazardly or because of the overflow of emotions he was feeling. Molding his lips against hers, he slowly took her in, taking his time to savor every single instant their clasp was offering.

All of a sudden however, Lauren started convulsing and Kieran pulled away, worry in his eyes. Was she crying? 

That’s only when she raised her eyes back to him that he saw this was laughter. Without knowing the cause of her hilarity, seeing her giggling sparked a glee in his chest he was not able to contain and he joined her in an uncontrollable laughter. He did not remember ever seeing such a smile on her face. She looked utterly happy, completely taken over something that was out of his grasp. Filled with love and bliss, he pulled her against him and surrounded her with his arms, squeezing her small form against his body. How had he been able to stay away all this time? Why did they inflict this to themselves for so long? Unable to steady her shaking self, Lauren grabbed Kieran’s collar and burrowed her face into his neck, wiping her tears with the fabric of his shirt. They kept laughing for a while, slowly stopping to resume. Over and over again. 

Trying to control the giggles that were still shaking them, Kieran finally managed to ask her “What is th- this about?”

She was starting to regain countenance, but remained where she was, snuggled against him.

“Th-this is silly.” He wiped a stowaway tear on her cheek with the back of his hand. “I- I was thinking about ea- earlier. K- Kym said- Hahaha! Kym said that b-back then, we used to b-be “crawling all over each other's mouth” a-and right n-now we were…”

“Doing just that.” He tenderly kissed her forehead, securing his grasp around her. “I don’t mind proving her right if it’s for this. I just regret that we didn't do this earlier.” 

He shot her a winsome smile, and marveled at the residual traces of mirth lingering on her face. She was so beautiful. 

She snorted softly. “We’re idiots.” Her face suddenly turned from a playful smile to a serious gaze and Kieran’s heart skipped a few beats. She raised her hand to brush his blushed cheek. “I’m sorry it took you leaving for years for me to realize how much I love you.”

Words had never sounded truer from her mouth, and Lauren was feeling a mix of relief, excitement and elation. So many emotions bursting inside her she could have shouted her love to him. However, it seemed like Kieran had completely frozen. 

His mouth was dry, his mind full of all the words he wanted to say to her, and yet none of them he could make sense of. He’d already found it hard to believe he could be this happy, now his brain was shutting down in front of the undeniable reality that Lauren Sinclair loved him. 

Seeing him struggle with his thoughts, Lauren’s heart melted. She didn’t need him to say anything. He’d already said it all- with words, with glances, with gestures… He didn’t need to gather his thoughts and find the right words right now. Because she now knew that they both had all the time they wanted to be together. She cupped his face with both hands and caught his gaze. She dived into his eyes, golden beacon light calming tidal waves in his ocean blue pupils. He slowly eased in her grasp, and brought her back into his arms to nestle his face against her neck. 

“In what world do I deserve this?” His voice was barely a murmur, and muffled by her skin, but she heard him nonetheless.

She didn’t answer, and they stayed like this until the early spring night reminded them winter wasn’t too far from them and the cold started to make it through their clothes. To revive their limbs, quite sore after spending they didn’t even know how much time on the cold ground, they got up and started walking.

Kieran’s hand felt warm in Lauren’s and she didn’t want this night to end. They strolled around the pier, circling the neighborhood, as they kept telling each other all the small things they’d missed in each other’s life. How Kieran had met Damian, how Lauren had been Kym’s witness at her and Will’s wedding, how he’d started teaching art, how she’s left her uncle’s mansion to live on her own… There was not enough time to tell everything tonight, but they knew it didn’t matter.

When recalling an anecdote involving Kym breaking into her flat to surprise her, and discovering about the letters they’d sent to each other, she realized she had to ask him.

“Why did you stop replying?”

He squeezed her hand, and gave her a teasing smile. “Why did you never visit?”

He could evade the question all he wanted, she knew he'd answer her eventually. “Well, you never invited me.”

“You never needed my invitations to invite yourself at my place, love.”

She stopped, and looked into his eyes. She was not joking. 

“Kieran... When you left, I could understand that everything in Ardhalis was too much for you. That you needed distance from it all. Me included, that I reminded you of all the pain and trauma you’d been through. That hurt but I accepted it. I couldn’t come and ruin the peace you’d been building yourself.”

He didn’t reply for a while. He was beginning to grasp how much they had tried to protect each other for only ending hurting more. He shook his head, as he didn’t need to answer this, she knew. She knew he would have wanted nothing more than her breaking the peace he’d tried to build, because no peace was worth it if not with her. He kissed her lightly.

“I cared too much about the letters.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to let you go. To forget you, or at least for my feelings to go away. The letters only fuelled them. I figured, if I stopped writing to you, you would eventually stop invading my thoughts every day, every instant. I thought, maybe you’d resent me and I would be proved right to have gone away. For the first part, that didn’t work. Quite the contrary actually. I spent all my waking hours thinking about what I could write to you, how I could apologize, how I could tell you how much I love you, how I could ask you to run away with me… I buried myself under impossible fantasies. So I hung onto the fact that you probably hated me. Kept me away enough.”

“But then, why now. What made you come, really?”

“Kym. She didn’t send me an invitation like she did every year. She called me. I don’t even know how she found out my number. But, yeah, she called.”

“What did she say to you?”

“That was actually a weird phone call. She first told me how she missed me and she wasn’t the only one. She blabbered some nonsense, about trust, and change, and hope.” He laughed softly. “I was completely lost, that was so odd. We talked a bit about our lives, she gave me some news about everybody, except you. So I asked how you were. The only person I really wanted to know about. But instead of answering me, she just told me something like “Come ask her yourself.” I really didn’t want her to, but she somehow managed to spark hope in me. So here I am. Forever grateful she called me and kicked me out of my hiding-hole.”

He looked away, towards the horizon where the sky had been getting clearer and clearer for a while now. Morning was just around the corner, they had not felt the time go. Lauren hugged him under his coat, and raised her head to meet his eyes.

“When are you leaving?”

“Hmm… I suppose it could be postponed for a bit.” He brushed a lock of hair off her face. “When are you leaving?”

“Hmm… I suppose it could be sped up a bit.” She chuckled, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Come home with me, we’ll talk about all this after a couple hours of sleep.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep, if I’m being honest.”

She coughed with surprise and shoved him away. “Kieran!”

He smirked at her. “I’m not the one having inappropriate ideas here. I only meant that it’s closer to the hour I usually wake up to than the one I go to sleep to, so I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep.” He pulled her close by the waist and breathed in her ear. “But hold on to that thought anyway.”

All those years away from each other were nothing when it came to his teasing, as he still seemed to know exactly how to get under her skin. However, for the first time, she was willing to indulge him and didn’t fight the smile that crept its way to her lips too much. Taking his hand and turning her feet away from the sunrise, she led the way to her apartment through Ardhalis’ slowly waking streets.

Epilogue

“Okay! I think that’s the last one”.

Damian was covered in sweat, and it was not only due to the dozen boxes he’d moved inside the house. The heat of the summer day was particularly difficult to bear, and he cursed his friends for choosing that very day to move.

Kieran took the box from his hands, and turned to the kitchen. “Alright! Break time then! We’ll empty those after a fresh glass of lemonade. Who’s in?”

Kym was already chomping on a big piece of watermelon, watching everyone working from her high chair by the kitchen counter. “I’m in!”

A disheveled William threw a falsely scolding look at her. “Some of us deserve it more than others.”

“Oh come on, Willame! You’ve been just playing piano all day long for weeks now while I’m busting my ass catching criminals. I deserve a longer break.”

William rolled her eyes, and turned to wash up his sweat dripping face.

“Alright, one glass of lemonade for everyone coming right up!” shouted Lauren, filling five glasses of the freshly made drink.

Damian slumped on the sofa. His cheeks were red and his shirt soaked with sweat. Kieran frowned at him.

“Hey, don’t ruin the fabric, we just bought that!”

“I bought you that and I could still take it back. You really need to be more thankful to your generous friends, lover boy.” Damian replied, lunging even farther into the couch. 

Lauren frowned at him. “Didn’t you have a date anyway? Shouldn’t you be on the train to meet Grace?”

“She’s coming instead. We figured after helping you guys move I’d be drained and wouldn’t want to travel all the way to Ardhalis.”

“Oh that’s nice!” exclaimed Lauren. “It’s been a while since I saw her! She should come here and we’ll all get dinner together!”

“Nuh uh, Lauren sweetheart. I love you guys and all, but there is no way I’m spending my date with you all. Plus I have a whole apartment for myself, now.”

“To be honest, Ren, we should get going not too late as well. The last train to Ardhalis is in less than an hour, and I have a class in the morning.” William emptied his glass, thankful for the cool liquid pouring in his overheated body.

Kym took Lauren and Kieran in her arms, squeezing them tight in her embrace. “I’m glad we got to help you guys settle in your new house. Took you long enough to stop being blind dumbasses.” She then took a step back and took Lauren’s hands. “A- and, er… Don’t be a stranger, ok? You’ll come visit us often, right?”

Moved to see her friend stutter with emotion, Lauren pressed her cheeks between her hands. “We’re only a quick train trip away. I promise I won’t do like Kieran and take years to come back. You might even get tired of me.”

"Never, Laur." Kym replied with a kiss on her friend's cheek.

Once everyone had said their goodbyes, and they were left alone in their new home, Lauren and Kieran fell on the couch, still damp from Damian’s passage. Lauren snuggled against him.

“I never thought I’d leave Ardhalis one day, and yet, here we are.”

Kieran adjusted his position to wrap his arms around her. “Any regrets, love?”

“None whatsoever. I don’t think I could be happier.”

The way she was looking at him only proved her words to be true. He placed a tender kiss on her cheek.

“Should we start unpacking, Detect- sorry, private investigator?”

“Ugh, nope. You’re not saying that, subordinate.” She shivered.

He chuckled and removed some crimson hair that stuck on her sweating face. “You’re not answering my question though.”

She turned to look into his eyes. She knew she’d be able to see them every day, now. She would see them when she wakes up every morning. They would be the last thing she sees before she falls asleep. They would be looking at her with that loving glow every day. A smile appeared on her face as she finally answered. 

“Not right now. Let's just stay like this for now. We have all the time in the world for the rest.”