Chapter Text
It started, like most of Remus's moral dilemmas, with Sirius.
The night before the incident, the marauders and their fellow gryffindors had spent the evening downing whole bottles of fire whiskey and watching with amusement as Marlene and James attempted to set fire to Peter's hair.
It had been a fun night, Remus mused. Although, truthfully, he hadn't been concentrating all that much on most events, rather gazing like a lovesick fool at a certain ebony haired boy all night, who was staring back with the same burning intensity, flashing him that Sirius Black grin after every drink he downed.
It had taken a while for the gang to pull their heads out of their arses and notice the boys' relationship as it crossed the line from friends to something more. But when James found Sirius and Remus in a rather compromising position in the prefect bathrooms after a certain someone – Remus was adamant that it wasn't him – had forgotten to lock the door, well, it wasn't long before the story had gotten around the group, and after that, the boys didn't bother keeping it a secret.
At least now Remus could shamelessly cuddle with his boyfriend on the common room sofas until the others found them and teased them over how disgustingly cute they were, call him pet names until Sirius flushed red and hid his face in the crook of Remus's neck, and snog him in all the hidden nooks and crannies of gryffindor tower until Sirius forgot his own name.
Which is how he found himself in his aforementioned moral dilemma. Remus knew that Sirius had the second most sporadic sleeping habits after Marlene. Remus found ranking them in such a way quite pointless, as all of his friends were unique in the ways that they avoided cooperating with sleep schedules – all except James, who insisted on needing his full 9 hours of beauty sleep each night, so that he could 'woo Evans' in the morning.
Remus himself couldn't say much regarding his sleep schedule, although, he was at least consistent in that he stayed up far too late and slept in equally so.
But Marlene and Sirius could get anywhere from 12 hours of sleep in a single session in the middle of the day to not sleeping at all for 36 hours before crashing.
So it was a matter of chance if Remus would wake up and start his morning alone or if he would have company. It looked like today it was company. Sirius was awake, although he was arguably not actually conscious. He was sipping at his tea mug – presumably stolen from the kitchens on an early morning escapade due to his insomnia – and then he missed his mouth by a couple centimeters twice before his lips found the rim properly. Remus should have found it exasperating at best, seeing as his boyfriend had clearly not gotten enough sleep. Instead, his chest gave a little spasm of fondness.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said.
Sirius grunted in response, but he did give Remus a sleepy smile.
His hair fell in elegant waves, falling slightly over his face so that Remus couldn't see his eyes, but his boyfriend apparently noticed that Remus was uncharacteristically disheveled, the buttons of his collar were misaligned. Remus watched as Sirius reached out over the common room counter to correct them.
It was quiet, and Sirius was focused on the task at hand, so it was quite a few moments before he felt the weight of the eyes on him. He looked up and Remus was a little wild-eyed, breathing hitched.
His boyfriend's face flushed, and he cleared his throat.
“Moony, was there something-?”
Remus's only response was to slowly wrap his hand around Sirius's collar and pull firmly until Sirius tipped forward and their mouths met.
Sirius hummed, a little confused but undeniably pleased.
His hands were still on Remus's collar, and when Remus gave a light nip to Sirius's bottom lip Sirius's hand pulled reflexively.
Remus groaned, and the kiss went from warm to burning, and it seemed like only delirious moments later that Remus was fumbling to his feet and gently but inexorably dragging his boyfriend out of the common room by his collar.
In hindsight, they probably should have gone down for breakfast, but he knew very well they weren't going to.
Now this was truly where the moral dilemma came in. All Remus wanted to do was spend the day cuddling with his boyfriend. However, he knew for a fact that, among many things that had happened at last night's drunken get-together, James had been planning a prank on their dear classmate, Snivellus.
Usually, Remus wouldn't stoop so low as to call him that but he was annoyed, and rightfully so. Here he was, attempting to relax with his boyfriend – after a very pleasant wake-up call – and because of Prongs and Snape, he had to get out of bed.
Sirius groaned contentedly, snuggling further into Remus's chest, his grey eyes blinking sleepily. Remus supposed he should mention to Sirius that if they didn't get their arses downstairs now, James would end up with another bloody Saturday detention for hexing Snape's mouth shut.
However, as he was contemplating the idea, the door to the boys' dorm was yanked open by a panting James, Peter bent forward and wheezing behind him. They were both more disheveled than usual and red in the face, presumably from sprinting all the way from the great hall to the dorm.
Remus blinked, and there was a beat of silence before, “Bloody hell, Prongs. Spit it out,” Sirius enquired.
James's eyes were wide, but he had a wide, self-satisfied grin plastered on his face as he spoke, “If you guys are done shagging, you're gonna want to see what we did to Snape just now,” he rubbed at the back of his neck with his sleeve, “We would've waited but…”
Remus smirked despite himself and hauled himself out of bed, groaning as his joints protested “C'mon Pads,” He kissed him on the mouth, ignoring Peter's muttering about how it was 'too early to deal with their lovey-dovey bullshit'.
Sirius sighed, resigned to his fate, and let his boyfriend drag him out of bed, fond and exasperated, to get dressed.
Remus waited until Peter and James had settled at the gryffindor table to grab Sirius's hand and give it a squeeze, hoping for a little less notice this early in the morning.
Sirius squeezed back, diving into his meal.
“If anyone here is bloody fireproof, could you please pass me the soup? I'd be quite appreciative,” Mary grumbled, after her fifth failed attempt at picking up the steaming soup bowl.
“And here I thought you were a world class chef,” drawled Lily.
“Shut it Lils. I may be a splendid cook but I'm not invincible, as lovely as that would be-”
Remus watched as James made a show of lifting the bowl and passing it across to Mary, “It is lovely being invincible, I must say.”
Mary laughed, “Yeah, yeah, Prongs: Lord of the forbidden forest, et cetera, et cetera – well, I’m the damn unchallenged queen of this castle here.”
“Forest's in the castle.”
“So’s Rowena's diadem, you gonna claim that, too?”
“You know,” said Peter wearily, “Sometimes I wonder what it might be like to have a peaceful breakfast. Civil discussions. Manners.”
“Pete, you mean to tell me you're not going to back me up in my own castle?”
“I mean to tell you exactly that,” said Peter, smugly, “And it's not your castle.”
“Forest's in the castle, Wormy.”
Remus didn't know what to expect when he meandered into potions to find Sirius and James cackling at the back of the classroom.
He couldn't help the tiny smirk of fondness that graced his lips at their utter ridiculousness, as he walked over to his desk – right in front of theirs, next to Lily, who wasn't present. He'd hung out with James enough to know that he was, in fact, a complete idiot. A loveable idiot that he'd grown incredibly close to, but an idiot, nonetheless.
It was after this thought that another one struck him. He sat down, “Hey, James,”
James's mop of hair flew across his face as his head whipped up, “Alright, Moons?”
“Where's Snape?”
James's lips turned up in a menacing grin, “Probably in the hospital wing. Thought we'd see him in the great hall for breakfast but I guess he thought he'd skip.”
”Merlin, what did you do?”
Sirius grinned, “Bloody moron turned his hair green.”
Remus sputtered, “You what!?”
James and Sirius began laughing again – Remus supposed that's what they'd been laughing about earlier.
The sound of boots clicking caught Remus's attention, “Hey Lils.”
Lily's eyes found his, “Remus,” she smiled.
“Oi, Evans.”
Lily's expression soured, but Remus noticed how she smoothed out her skirt, and suppressed a smile, “Potter.”
“Look alive, boys, Evans has arrived.”
“Shut it, Siri, not you too,” She glared playfully.
“Guys, you might want to bloody quiet down,” Remus heard Peter whisper-shout from a few rows in front, “Slughorn 'll be here in a few.”
“Sit tight, Wormy,” Remus responded, already focused on finding the correct page in his textbook for the lesson.
“Moony, darling,” said Sirius. Remus, anticipating Sirius's attempt at distraction, swiped to deter Padfoot's hand reaching for his box of scarab beetles.
Remus missed, and Sirius smirked triumphantly, waving the hand holding the wooden box.
Remus sighed, exasperated, and turned back to the cauldron in front of him, “You know, you and James have your own ingredients,” he said lightly. Sirius didn't seem cowed, instead wrapping his hands around Remus's waist and letting out a rumbling sigh that vibrated through Remus's chest, making him shiver.
“Yours work better,” Sirius muttered.
“If you say so,” Remus said dubiously. He moved the cauldron off the heat and turned to smile down at his boyfriend.
“You know, you two could be a little subtler,” Lily teased, dropping a red spider in their cauldron, and grabbing the scarab beetles off Sirius's desk.
“Shut it, Evans,” Remus gave her a halfhearted glare, wishing the lesson away, so he could kiss his boyfriend as much as he wanted, without worrying about leaving his skele-gro potion so long that he set fire to it.
As the marauders walked in the direction of transfiguration, Remus found himself again wishing that he could skip class with his boyfriend, that they could go for a smoke or cuddle. His bad mood only soured when they passed Mulciber and his friends, the former spotting them and glaring daggers.
Sirius rolled his eyes, “The prick's just mad Snivellus got hexed.”
Remus grunted, expressing his agreement, “What did he even do?”
“Called Lily a mudblood yesterday. S'why she was so quiet last night.”
“Oi, Potter.”
Remus turned, along with the rest of the group, to see Mulciber stalking towards them.
“Oh bloody hell, Mulciber, you still pissed?” James grinned from ear to ear, seemingly thrilled that the Slytherin boy was picking a fight with him, “I didn't mean to hex your boyfriend's hair green, if that's what this is about.”
Mulciber's face turned impossibly more sour, “You bloody well did.”
Remus watched as Sirius supressed a grin, “Thought you liked green.”
Mulciber whipped round to face him, “Shut it, Black.”
Really, they were just trying to get under Mulciber's skin, but Remus wondered whether this was the first time Mulciber had gone after the marauders by himself, usually he'd have Rosier and Snape at his heels if he ever dared pick a fight, but he had seemed rather agitated in their potions lesson – deliberately screwing around with several students' cauldrons, including Peter and Gideon's, after his own potion had turned a sickly green colour, signifying that he'd overheated it.
Sirius scowled, striding forward, “What's the matter Mulciber, don't tell me Snivellus wouldn't fight us himself. Was he too scared? Knew he'd lose did he?”
Mulciber opened his mouth to retort but Sirius didn't stop there, “That's what I fucking thought. Tell you what, why don't you run along and find your Slytherin groupies, we don't want to have to send you to the hospital wing without a fair fight.”
“You gryffindors think you're fucking invincible don't you?” Mulciber's face twisted, “Merlin, it's disgusting. You're all so bloody full of yourselves, you can't stand the sight of anyone who doesn't meet your standards.”
“Pull yourself together Mulciber, you think our standards are high? You lot would rather die before socialising with a bloody muggle-born.”
Mulciber shoved Sirius's chest and Remus went to step in front of him but Sirius waved his hand, gesturing for him to stay where he was.
His boyfriend narrowed his eyes, “You bloody elitist shit, Snivellus got what he deserved.”
“You think we won't hex your hair green too?” James added.
“You think you're the only ones smart enough to look in the restricted section?” Mulciber's hand went to his pocket for his wand, prompting the four of them to do the same, but Mulciber just smirked, shaking his head, "Well, we've been planning a fun little prank ourselves.”
Remus's eye twitched, what was he playing at?
“You'll fucking regret that oversight, Black,” Mulciber took out his wand and, too swiftly to shield from, muttered a short hex, unintelligible, his wand pointed directly at Sirius's chest.
Remus watched, open mouthed, mind racing yet too slow to react in time, as his boyfriend collapsed to the ground.