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It has been one hell of a year. Seungcheol feels overworked, he has taken every double shift and extra hours he possibly could to save up some considerable money. He doesn't mind. He likes the feeling of being busy, he likes the reward of finding a pretty boy sitting at his kitchen table when he gets home. Kiss him on the cheek, hold him by the chin, ask him about his day. He listens as he washes the recipients he always brings his lunch to work. Said food that is delightfully cooked by Mingyu, and he could never get sick of it, not even if he tried.
Their apartment wasn't all flowers though. With the little money they made after moving to a different town, they were only able to pay so much rent. That led to them living in a dangerous neighbourhood, in a very little apartment with paper thin walls that could hear anything from their neighbours. It was okay since they didn't own much, and they were only two. But everything was too far, and they wished for a, well, better homey home.
That's why Seungcheol started working as much as he possibly could, following Mingyu's remarks that he would get sick one day, and slowing down whenever he physically had to. And Mingyu started some serious money control situation, making sure they spend just what they need, opening a few exceptions for when they were too tired and needed some treats.
Eventually, they saved enough to change apartments, and they had just gotten the keys to it, the second week of december.
The place was better located, and they finally had a living room that didn't have a bedroom and a kitchen inside of it. Walls thick enough to give them some privacy, and the peacefulness of not worrying about parking their bicycle for ten minutes on the street.
It did however have a downside, one they had both discussed a lot about before making any final decision.
This apartment came with no furniture whatsoever.
So it was the 15th of november, they entered their new house holding one key, in Seungcheol's left hand, a backpack in Mingyu's back, and each of them with exactly one cardboard box, which carried mostly clothes, personal items, the few food they couldn't consume before moving, and some little gifts they got each other over the months.
And they slept on the hard ground that first night.
Not really bothering unpacking, since they have no wardrobe to keep their clothes, no shelves to put the little pieces of decoration they own, nor a fridge to stock food.
Not really minding sleeping on the cold floor, not when they have each other to warm their bodies, although Seungcheol wakes up with terrible back pain the next day, from being used to sleeping on a mattress that almost swallows his whole body.
So they decide to go first thing in the morning shopping for a new mattress, one to call their own.
They found one, big enough to fit them and nothing else, they tell themselves they love to sleep hugging anyway. They get distracted at the store, dreaming about picking a couch over its looks other than its price, failing to afford one either way. They go past the kitchen session, only realizing now how some stuff aren’t simple luxury, yet a necessity. Getting desperate that they can't live in a house with zero furniture. Wondering if they messed up. If they made the wrong decision.
Seungcheol checks his bank account, they will have to choose between a hand-down fridge or a microwave.
Mingyu remembers them about grocery shopping for the month and that they need to also get pillows, and maybe bedsheets if possible.
"Listen..." Mingyu starts, voice showing he knows what he's about to say is a bit insane, but it's the best he got, "Fridge is just storage, with a microwave we will be able to actually make some food." He is almost pouting as he finishes, cooking is important to him, Seungcheol knows it.
Seungcheol smiles as if good teeth could erase all the sadness in the world, "Even if we live for the next months of popcorn and cup noodles?"
"Hyung, I'm pretty sure we can make rice at those too, and other things too, we'll adapt"
Seungcheol pretends he can’t feel the electric wave taking over his body when he hears honorifics that Mingyu ended up dropping years ago.
"If we buy it, then it's more money we can invest in other stuff, yeah?" He searches for the bright side of it.
"Yes! And I can buy only what we will eat for the day, so they don't spoil, every day"
"Gyu, that's… stressful, for starters" Seungcheol grips his chin again, as he does every night.
"I can manage, I'm not very busy now, plus, we don't have to get a 30 minute bus ride just to get near a market anymore, there is one just four blocks away now." And just by the voice, Seungcheol can hear Mingyu cheering up again, making plans for his new routine, he knows that it will be fine, they will be fine, "It will only be for a while, then next thing we get is a fridge, alright?"
Seungcheol greets the idea with a small kiss on his forehead.
Mingyu has been his ride-or-die ever since they smashed a car together, on that old junkyard that became probably a limiar place at this point. He wonders if his flowers adapted and kept growing or if they are far gone dead already, wonders if the table he has made for Mingyu is dusty and useless or if someone has found and put it to some good use. If the stools he used to rest on have grown weeds at this point.
It doesn't matter. For all the fondness and meaning that place held, he is in a better place. He can look back but he doesn't have to travel back. If anything, Seungcheol was always one to focus on the future. And past him would have never guessed he has now a decent full time job, with coworkers he could have a decent relationship with, a stable home that doesn't fall apart with every other inconvenience, and above all, a pretty boy to kiss his lips and hold him at night, not any pretty boy, Mingyu.
"It will be okay." Four words that they whisper in each other's ears like crazy every time they get slightly concerned about something, never a lie.
----
First thing Seungcheol does when waking up is rub his eyes, always. He checks his phone for the time and it hits almost 4am. Bed feels too cold, and that's how he notices the lack of another body close to him, or the abundance of space left, which he dislikes.
"Gyu? where are you" his low, barely awake voice asks as he leaves the bedroom. He can spot a single lamp lit, his eyes take some time to adjust and realize his boyfriend is using a cardboard box as a table. It makes him smile.
Seungcheol knows his stubborn boyfriend well, he won't go to bed unless he is dragged into it, or charmed with little kisses.
"So, what are you doing baby?". It takes him sitting next to Mingyu to have his presence acknowledged. It's not a problem.
"I just, I have my head stuck on this… Cheollie, what if we can't afford all of this?"
"I can see you are uptight, my love." Seungcheol warms him with a hug, "It's too late to find a fix now, can you come and rest with me, then we can worry about this together?"
Mingyu is reluctant of course, but he gives in after some small kisses deposited on his cheeks. Easy as that, it doesn’t take long for them to fall asleep together.
—
Days goes by, they adjust to their new life, new apartment, and this is something they have learned very soon in life, how to adapt. It’s not a problem, nothing ever truly penetrates their skin as a problem, not when their skins are forever merged into one. Mingyu’s heart is what pumps blood to Seungcheol’s muscles and ever since they lived like that the worse that can happen with them are inconveniences.
An empty room is a privilege, it gives space for something that they dreamed too much but had too little, freedom. They dance in the free furniture living room, nobody watches them, nobody cares. Mingyu does not hide whatever he’s doing when someone enters the room, because he knows the only thing allowed inside his house is safety. Seungcheol expands his horizons, and is now allowed to be his wildest, loudest version, without any ugly looks and insults. Freedom.
So Mingyu doesn’t mind spending almost every day of his vacations walking to the market, picking up the random meal he’s gonna try to make it work using only a microwave and all of his creativity. But the holidays are coming, and seeing families grocering together with lots of items and full carts makes him feel nostalgic… or better, concerned. He doesn’t know for sure.
“So… Christmas, what are you thinking for our plans?” Mingyu asks when he’s sweeping the floor they just ate at, and Seungcheol is washing the dishes.
“Well babes, I wasn’t actually, is there anything specific you wish to do?”
Mingyu sits on the ground, he takes a deep breath, and Seungcheol is patient enough to let him conceal his feelings without any pressure. “Yeah, It’s just the holidays vibe you know, I do wish we could do something special...” He takes another deep breath, and it’s time enough for Seungcheol to dry his hands and hug the boy from behind. “Special is not a problem Gyu, we can definitely arrange something nice".
Seungcheol deposits one kiss on the top of his head, which works as a reminder to make the boy relax his body. “But we are sort of limited here, I don’t think we actually can do something, anything.”
“Hey, we just have to get creative, I’m pretty sure we’re not gonna be the first ones to cook a whole feast for two in a microwave”
Mingyu glances at Seungcheol as he is insane. “You are not cooking a whole feast in our microwave, mister” Seungcheol chuckles at it.
"Are you the one who's gonna stop me" the words come off as daring, they are welcomed with three punches and of course, a beaming smile.
And this is what Seungcheol likes, a cheered up boyfriend, and a secret task to plan and arrange the perfect christmas night in three days only.
—
Seungcheol wakes up in a cold body, cold sweat. He thinks he had a nightmare but he can't tell for sure.
The curtainless windows are beautiful during the day, but they do succeed in setting a haunted atmosphere after midnight. They have a small night lamp, guitar shaped for his fear of the dark, but this time is not enough.
"Babes.... Babes, I'm scared"
Lucky him, his boyfriend is a light sleeper.
So it doesn't take Mingyu long to wake up, even less to hold the boy's hand. "I'm here my love, what's wrong?" His voice is hoarse, but concerned.
"Do you wish we weren't here, do you wish we were back home?" He means their old town, and Mingyu gets it. His dream disgracefully flashes through his brain, that rainy day years ago, the image of Gyu leaving and not coming back for weeks. Two distinct memories that make him hate his brain for mixing things up. Everything is okay, he tells his brain as he tries to take some deep breaths.
"No baby," Mingyu is a bit more awake now, alert for his boyfriend, to dismiss any monster whispering bad things in his ears, "No I don't baby, I am exactly where I wanna be."
"I had a bad dream..." His voice gets melancholic and his eyes teary. He leans in for a hug, Mingyu holds him like he'll never let go.
"You don't have to tell me now okay, just know that I am here for anything you need okay?" Seungcheol answers with a small humming, and gets pampered with lots of gentle strokes on his hair and back.
Mingyu tells him another time about that one night he woke up to spill an "I love you", only to fall asleep again. They giggle about it together, and that's Cheol's last memory from the night.
—
"So.... No gifts policy yeah?"
Mingyu scoffs, "What are you trying to do boy?"
"Me?" Seungcheol puts his hands on his chest pretending to be offended, "I'm just checking for holidays policy, nothing else"
It's the 24th of december, morning. Seungcheol made breakfast, and Mingyu just changed his clothes.
"I have a sense i shouldn't trust you, mister" Mingyu takes a bite of his pancakes, no cinnamon, cause one day he gave his boyfriend such a big dose of the condiment, he traumatized the boy for life. It feels a bit flavorless like that, he doesn't seem to mind, "However, if you think just because we are short on money I'm not getting you anything you are very wrong..."
Seungcheol serves himself, a smirk on his face that Mingyu could swear it never really left. "So you are the outlaw this time, interesting..."
Mingyu laughs at him, breakfast conversations never felt this comfortable, "Cut it out boy, I'm not giving you any hints"
"Jokes on you, I didn't ask for any" Those smart ass eyes, Mingyu would do insanities for them.
"I know you, Choi Seungcheol", with emphasis in each and every word, as who says you are impossible
"Yet, I didn't ask for anything yet. Let me finish, Jesus'' For that, he gets eyes rolling and a kiss in the forehead, Mingyu loves each and every of his games, willingly biting every bait, wishing for it to last longer, a game he doesn't mind losing, there is always a win for him in each corner.
"Let me tell you baby, I don't think I'll get home soon enough to be cooking for us..." Mingyu regrets.
He got a barista gig last week, just for the holidays season, which is good for the money, but they see each other less now, and they depend more on Cheol’s (lack of) cooking skills. The sad thing is, Cheol could get his Christmas eve day off, but Gyu couldn’t, which kinda ruined their plan of spending the day being cheesily in love together.
However, Seungcheol has experience in turning the game around, and he knows exactly what to do.
"Oh" Seungcheol knows he's serious, but he also knows how to brighten the mood, "Should I put my chicken in the microwave plan in practice then?"
"Boy, no!" He scolds the boyfriend, almost screaming, fully joking. Perhaps a bit concerned about the guy's sanity.
Seungcheol laughs, affirming he loves to be the devil, "I'll arrange something okay, and yes, I will make it special, don't worry" Mingyu hums, and it's funny how it always sounds in disbelief even when it's not, "Hey I'm serious, I can handle it."
"I never doubted you in the first place," Now it's his turn of laughing, "I'm leaving darling, I'll be back by six alright, try not to miss me too much, love ya". Key chains spinning is the last sound Cheol hears, he didn't realize how quiet the apartment was when one of them was missing, it makes harder to take the silence when all he wished was to spend the whole day with lazy couch hugs, movies and snack, the smell of his boyfriend infiltrating each and every cell of his body, paradise - he doesn’t have a couch.
He knows very well how to deal with missing Mingyu. He needs to do something, for Gyu, with his hands. Thankfully he had an idea after learning from his neighbour their little building had a rooftop. Accessible rooftop. Then he had just to do a search pestering all of his coworkers to see if anyone could lend him a tent. Then he just needed something to grill, and he would be settled. He leaves home with his wallet, bike, backpack, and a 9 hour mission begins!
—
Seungcheol works like a clock in his brain, unfortunately, he still hasn't learnt the ability of having a map inside it as well. So he has to make multiple stops to check his phone for the routes. He almost got lost a few times throughout his journey, but he finally got to his friend's house. They greet and wish for happiness and health, cheesy holidays norms, except Seungcheol means this time, moving out of the rabbit hole his old town felt, living with Mingyu, changed him a bit, he doesn’t know if it’s emotional maturity, more sensibility, but he has certainly grown. He is not the bitter rager teenager he was in the past, getting in trouble and only being aware of his own little world. Mingyu has changed him. And he loves it. So he has a new house, and a new job, and a boyfriend, and even friends now, good, truthful friends. There is some growth there.
The tent comes in a bag, which is convenient for transportation, but tricky when you are a clumsy biker. He figures it out, and pedals his way to the nearest supermarket.
And in his way he finds some abandoned brick blocks on the sidewalk. It’s perfect, it’s almost a christmas gift, he doesn’t think twice, he will get back for them, but first things first, he knows how to respect a to do list.
He does his groceries, his plans are far from tradition, but he’s an obvious man (his boyfriend knows this very well) and at least he’s not sticking to the chicken in the microwave plan so, that’s a win.
So he goes home, he leaves with his backpack and a rope, and prepares to tie as many bricks he needs on his bike, he goes to some other store, he can’t help but arrange one christmas light, his lover loves lights! So he has everything, and 2 and a half hours to prepare and set things up. He can do this, he tells himself.
He starts upstairs. With much, much effort he brings all the bricks to the rooftop, and arranges them forming an empty little square, to which he fills with some charcoal, and puts a grill grate on top of the bricks.
Their own little oven, Cheol will grill some burgers for them, his favourite, and he hopes Mingyu won’t mind, (he’ll make it delicious, Gyu will love it). Next step is setting up the tent, they will sleep in there, and cheol got lucky enough that their mattress fits there.
It was hard work to go up two sets of stairs with their mattress, but he manages, and he loves the challenge.
He has a bucket where he puts the cheapest wine he could find and fills it with bought ice, he gets a box and fills the bottom of it with ice, and puts his ingredients inside, easy as that, you have a refrigerator, and he contemplates how far you can go with creativity.
Little clockwork Choi Seungcheol has lost track of time, and now he has only 30 minutes to shower and get ready, to pretend he had only a boring empty day. He does so, he’s all pretty dressed and perfumed when his boyfriend arrives.
And they talk, and they kiss, and Mingyu’s smile is brighter than any high tech flashlight. So Seungcheol gives Gyu some time to shower before he hijacks his boyfriend to the rooftop, but mostly, all to himself.
—
Despite all the trust he has on his boyfriend, Mingyu can’t help but be a bit terrified after Seungcheol insists on blindfolding him. The guy is full of tricks, a generous amount of fear is allowed, almost required.
He is guided, and Seungcheol is a very reliable man, but when Seungcheol alarms him of steps he starts getting really concerned. He hears the opening of a door, he feels wind hitting his face and messing his hair, he feels a smile growing.
His vision adjusts to night stars and possibly the best landscape view he’s ever seen. His young self loved watching the street sitting on the small junkyard walls, he has now a whole city to monitor, to enjoy.
It is beautiful. Seungcheol set everything for them, for him. He jumps on Seungcheol, reliable, as he knows, he’s unprepared but barely trembles. It doesn’t matter that Mingyu is a few inches taller, he wraps his legs around the boy, and he can take his weight.
“This is perfect love, perfect” Mingyu feels Seungcheol’s body relaxing, as if he was nervous he wouldn’t like the surprise, impossible. “I love you” Mingyu repeats until the words lost their meaning.
“It’s all for you my love”, Seungcheol finally lets Mingyu away from his arms, “Hungry my love?”
And he walks towards his little handmade furnace, setting fire and blowing wind to get the heat he wants, which is not much, but fire sets a vibe. Mingyu serves them some wine, looking at the man of his life, wearing the same baggy black pants he’s always wore, fluffy hair, best snuggles. The man of his dreams.
“Hope you like camping sweetheart” Seungcheol says, while showing the insides of the tent, Seungcheol stuffed all the blankets they had to make it more comfortable, his notebook was there, he pre downloaded the nightmare before christmas so they can watch at night together. Mingyu’s favourite.
They grill burgers and eat together, one holding each other, head of one on the leg of the other, and hands together as they are tied. They are, always have been, there’s nothing Mingyu would rather hold than Seungcheol’s hands.
"Listen I don't want to break the magic, but I do think this is sort of a fire hazard... like, kinda illegal" Mingyu was debating with himself for a while, if he should say that, he says it because it’s before everything, funny, that is such a Seungcheol thing to do.
Seungcheol clumsily gets up and does his best effort to instantly light the fire out, as expected. Mingyu goes right behind him, hugging him closely, calming his body
He turns his lover's body to face him, preciously holding his head, like nothing else matters, kissing his lips, Mingyu is absurdly in love with this man.
“I think we’re good, love”, Mingyu kisses him again, Cheol doesn’t sound convinced, "You live by your own law, my darling" He kisses the boy again, "And I fell for you exactly for that."
Seungcheol smiles, like a kid smiles after they beat a game. Like a man smiles before he kisses his lover at the altar. Like an elderly smiles after telling his life stories for his grandchildren. Like someone who knows they won in life already.
"Let them burn, yes?"
They look at each other's souls through the eye.
"Let them burn, Seungcheol"
And they burn in love that night. The only fire causing crimes that night is their own. They sleep in a borrowed tent, with cheap christmas lights, a new mattress, and arms for a pillow. The infinity of a night sky is not borrowed today, rather stolen, from knowing that this is their future, forever, this is how they choose to live everyday, everyafternoon, everynight, everychristmas. Knowing they want so much, but need nothing more, being together is enough, more than enough, it’s the dream, one they already achieved.