Archive of Our Own

In theory, joining Valorant should’ve been the best decision that you had ever made. In theory.

In practice, every day felt even heavier than the last one, and even if you didn’t want to admit it to anyone else, you started to feel like you were going to snap at any given moment. You weren’t a field agent, battling your way through doubles and mirror earth to unravel it’s secrets, but rather an engineer, someone whose job was to sit on a lab every day, checking that everything worked and that a jamming gun or malfunctioning gadget wouldn’t ruin the mission for agents that risked everything every time they went to their operations. It also meant that your work was doing the same things over and over again, but not everyone could’ve been blessed with Radianite powers suited for the field, and it was a cold truth that your powers weren’t nearly developed enough to join others in the missions around the globe.

You pressed the button on a coffee machine, and hot tea started to stream to your glass. Every moment you were awake, your head was filled with thoughts, and it felt like your brain was like an overclocked computer that desperately needed something to cool it down before it would shut down because of overheating. However fast the machine would be, it was not fast enough not to make you impatient, so you stared at it aggressively while tapping your foot to the floor as a sign for it to hurry up.

“I don’t have all day.” You talked to the machine. “Gimme my damn tea so I can have at least something nice.”

Your mind went to the exact direction you didn’t want it to go when you started to go through the mission agents had been sent over two weeks ago. Every detail in every weapon and machinery that you had checked, every part of them and if there was something, anything, that you had overlooked and would cause the mission to be a failure.

“Thank you, finally.” You grabbed the cup as soon as the machine gave you the beeping sound as an indicator that it had finished.

There was no Raze’s loud music in the hallways, no Phoenix’s laughter or Brimstone telling you that if you trained hard enough, you could maybe join them at some point. There was no Neon running around, and no Chamber telling you about his cat. There was no Chamber telling you what his cat had done.

“I can’t take this.” You sat at the sofa and threw your legs to the other side without caring if your shoes would stain it or not. “I’m seriously at my fucking limit.”

The tea was too hot to drink, so you had to be alone with your thoughts for a while longer. When you had joined everything had felt good, that this was the one place that you could call home while also being useful. Then the reality had hit you, the loneliness, the dark thoughts and the homesickness. When Chamber had talked to you in this same area, tired and a smell of cigarette smoke lingering around him, you had felt that there could maybe be at least one person on H.Q. that was willing to listen to you.

“Why can’t I be strong enough to join them?” You curled into a ball and pushed your head against your knees.

Even if you wanted to get information about the ongoing mission, there was no way to contact anyone on the field, as it might endanger the agents. You were left alone with your thoughts, and in your current mindset that was something you were not happy with.

Why couldn’t you be stronger? You buried yourself deeper into your cocoon, and let your mind fill up with thoughts until you curled against the backrest of the sofa. Nobody was in the area anyway, so nobody would care if you fell asleep here or not.


At some times, your dreams were a means to escape the harsh reality and everything that made it worse. At other times they brought up everything bad, and you woke up sweating and tired. This time it was neither, just a nice darkness where the time passed and you were able to just drift into the nothingness.

“Bonjour chéri.”

A gentle touch on your shoulder. A soft voice. A familiar smell of smoke and gunpowder. The darkness swapped into something nicer, something that you had yearned for and even if it would just be a simple dream, it would make you feel a little bit better.

“Don’t go.”

Your fingers intertwined with his, and you pulled his hand to you. You didn’t want to open your eyes, because if you did, there was no guarantee that you could return this dream.

“Oh no, I am not going anywhere, mademoiselle Y/N.”

The voice dug deeper, and you started to question if you were just imagining things or if you were brave enough to see if this was a dream or not. On one hand, you could keep your eyes shut, and enjoy the moment of comfort before the harsh reality of you being alone would hit you again, but what if he really was there.

“I don’t want to be alone.” You squeezed the hand.

“If you hold on so tight, you most certainly won’t be.”

“You promise?”

“I am here, yes.”

You opened your eyes a bit, just enough to see blurry shapes to confirm that you weren’t just talking to yourself, and if you were, there was still a possibility to fall back to your comforting dream.

“You believe me now, yes?”

The glow of the golden tattoos was the first thing your mind registered. Then the familiar white button-up shirt with light detailing, and the watch which shared the colour with the tattoos. After thinking for a moment you turned your head from the backrest, and slowly saw the familiar face above you, looking directly to your sleepy eyes that were still somewhere between the dream and the reality.

“Chamber?”

You opened your eyes wider to confirm that indeed you weren't dreaming, and when you were sure that he indeed was standing besides you, you climbed yourself up from the sofa and smiled to him, and even if you didn’t realise it at that moment, it was the first smile you had had for a long time.

“My apologies, I hadn’t intention of interrupting your sleep.” Chamber said and sat on the sofa. “We just returned, I was going to return my equipment but saw you while I was passing the area.”

You looked at the corner where the large sniper rifle laid against the wall, next to the large bag. “Sorry, didn’t mean to.”

There was still some kind of invisible boundary between you and Chamber, and even though you had shared a close moment with each other at his quarters a while back, it didn’t mean that you had permission to do whatever you wanted. Although even if you had, your shyness would interrupt you sooner than later.

“If I had wanted I could’ve just passed you.” Chamber laughed. “You weren’t going to wake up any time soon if my eyes were correct.”

“What time is it anyway?” You brushed your hair with your hand. “What part of the day is it even?”

“Almost a midnight. Morning wasn’t probably the most accurate thing to greet you with, I have to admit.”

You touched your tea cup. Cold. Not freezing cold but a was asleep a good couple of hours cold.

“Welcome back.”

“Merci, Y/N.”

“I was worried that something had happened when I didn’t hear anything from you.”

“It was an intense mission, yes.”

Even if Chamber hadn’t said that, there was one sign that confirmed that he had been through something that he hadn’t planned to. When he was sitting close to you you were able to smell cigarettes all over him, on his clothes, his clothes and probably even on his skin.

“You are back here now. That’s what matters.”

Chamber placed his arm on the backrest, and you wondered if he wanted you to move closer. When you had met here the first time you had mistaken the cigarette smoke lingering around him to the malfunction of the coffee machine, and if your memory serves right, you had called him smelly by accident. Thinking about that made you chuckle.

“How has it been here? It must’ve been… quiet.”

“Honest answer or neutral answer?”

“Do not think that the neutral answer will suffice after you said that.”

“Lonely. Really lonely.”

“Oh, weren’t you able to talk to other research personnels here?”

“They are all busy with their own stuff so I didn’t want to bother them.”

Chamber’s hand wandered to your shoulder, and you looked as he watched how you would react to that. “Please tell me if I do anything that you are not comfortable with.”

You pulled yourself close to Chamber’s side, allowing him to wrap his hand around you. As you rested your head against his hand, you smelled the cigarettes on his fingertips, and inhaled the familiar and safe smell, and even if it was not a nice smell, it was calming because it meant that he was close to you. This was something that you had wanted to feel again, and now when Chamber had returned, you took everything you could from him being so close to you.

“I missed this.”

“So did I, Y/N, so did I.”

Just sitting in silence, feeling Chamber’s warmth next to you and holding his hand that was wrapped around you helped you not to drown into your thoughts. You felt his touch, and could count his breaths, and there was no need for either of you to move from this spot.

“Did it go alright? The mission.”

“Yes, in the end. There won’t be another for a while though, not before Killjoy is done with extracting all of the data we were able to secure.”

“She’s gonna be excited about that.”

“Oh she is, she already started on our way to the headquarters.”

You pushed yourself even tighter against Chamber, and let go of his hand that was resting against your shoulder, only to hug him tightly. Your face pressed to his vest and tie, and you noticed that Chamber returned your act of affection to you by wrapping his hands around your back.

“I’m sorry I’m using you as my outlet for human contact again.” You laughed a little bit while hugging him. “It just feels like this helps me to remember that I don’t completely hate my time here.”

“Y/N, I assure you that you are not the only one in need of this.” Chamber sighed.

Something about that moment made you wonder what Chamber was thinking at this very moment. Had he also missed you, or did he only want someone to hold him close after a long mission? What had he had to go through?

“How was the mission?” You realised that it was not the best thing to ask as soon as the question left your lips. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Forget it.”

“I do not mind, Y/N. One good thing about being a marksman in the past life is that you stop to think about everything that is not critical for the mission to be a success. You get the brief, you do what you are needed to do, and you move to the next one.”

“So you just… go there and do what is told?”

“It is easier than to question. It is hard enough to keep the nerves in check as it is. You can probably smell that, yes. Mes excuses.”

“It’s the smell of you. Both the smoke as well as the cologne.”

“Ah, I aim to be presentable even after a long mission.”

“In that you succeeded.”

You felt how Chamber breathed heavily, and how his arms crossed even tighter around you, before letting go. You let go too, and gazed upwards to his face, and noticed that even after everything he had been through, he looked as good as always. His eyes met yours, and you felt the tension that had suddenly built around you.

“Pardon, Y/N.” Chamber said in a low tone. “But you are most definitely not the only one who is guilty of wanting to feel another person here.”

Chamber’s hands cupped your cheeks as he leaned close, and you felt how his lips gently brushed yours. Your hands pressed to his chest, and leaned upwards to him. Your heartbeat became faster, and when you felt Chamber so close to you, it felt like there was a small fire warming you from the inside.

One part of you wanted to say something, but instead of that, you pressed your lips tighter to his, devouring his taste and taking something you had wanted since you fell asleep to his arms before he left for the mission. Now when Chamber had returned and broke the invisible barrier between you, there was no way you were going to let go of him before you absolutely must.

Your hands grabbed the neckline of Chamber’s vest, and you pulled him to you, kissing him and only parting for breathing quickly before returning to him.

“Would you like to accompany me to the apartment, mademoiselle?” Chamber said and smiled. “As much as I enjoy my time here, it would be an awful shame to get interrupted.”

You nodded and took Chamber’s hand as he helped you up from the sofa. The tea that had already gotten cold was left on the table. Chamber took his golden sniper rifle from the corner and tossed the bag to his shoulder before taking your hand to his, leading you to his place, where a certain someone was waiting for his return at least as eagerly as you were.