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“Hey, can we all go to the living room after we’re done eating?” Chan called out, seemingly out of the blue.
Usually, everyone would have ignored his words and teased the leader. However, this time, Seungmin and the rest of the members could sense the seriousness of Chan’s voice. Everyone was mostly done eating dinner by then, so Seungmin headed over to the sink to wash his plate and hands. He could see Hyunjin and Felix following him, and in the background, heard Jisung teasing Changbin about doing the dishes as they pushed their chairs back, though the teasing was quieter than usual, worry evident in their voices..
What could Chan be calling them for? He didn’t seem worried at all earlier. Seungmin would have noticed if something was off with any of the members. Today was New Year’s Day; it would be terrible if there was a problem today. Seungmin wasn’t that superstitious, but Felix, Jisung, Changbin, and Jeongin were firm believers of basing the rest of the year on whatever happened on New Year's day. He knew that they would be really upset if something went wrong today, claiming that it was a sign for the rest of the year.
Taking a seat next to Jeongin on the edge of the couch, Seungmin saw Minho trying to send a silent “do you know what’s wrong” his way. He shook his head back at him before settling down. It was a little tight—the couch was not meant to seat five people—but he would rather go jump around in a tutu live while proclaiming that Leebit was the best Skzoo than give up his place on the couch. It was one of the best couches to ever exist. The others were also of the same opinion, though maybe not as far as the Leebit and the tutu part.
Chan entered the room last, seemingly lost in thought. He sat down—on a wooden chair, not the overworked couch—and stared at the other members. Seungmin and the others stared back.
“...Chan?” he tried finally, after it seemed like Chan wasn’t going to say anything.
Chan blinked. “Yeah?” Seungmin would have laughed at the look on his face. Chan looked so confused, like he had completely forgotten why he had asked them here in the first place.
Felix picked up where Seungmin left off. “Why did you call us here? Is there a problem?”
Chan just looked at Felix. “A problem? Why would there be a—oh!” he shook his head, face breaking out in an embarrassed smile. “Ah sorry, I think I zoned out completely earlier. I didn’t mean to make you worry. It’s nothing bad, I promise.”
Seungmin relaxed, just realizing that he was tensing his body earlier. He felt a shove and saw that Changbin had shifted his position to cross-legged at the other end of the sofa. He shoved back lightly, but a look from Minho stopped Hyunjin from causing the Sofa Wars of 2023 from the center of the sofa. A shame—Seungmin was prepared to go all out now that Chan said there wasn’t a problem.
“What’s it for then?” Jisung piped up from next to Minho.
Chan scratched the back of his head. “Well, as you know, it’s a new year. Last year, so many good things happened, but we all worked so hard too. Everything was so physically and emotionally straining.”
Emotionally straining was an understatement. Seungmin couldn’t count the number of times a member, including himself, broke down or just crashed. He loved STAY so much, and he would do anything for STAY, even pushing himself past his limits, but at times, “past his limits” wasn’t a few feet past, it was several miles.
Chan gave a soft smile to the group. “I know that this year is going to be extremely hard as well, but I was thinking that I needed to do something to ease that burden even just a little.”
“Chan, you aren’t taking our stresses and hardships on you.” Jisung stared down at Chan, and Seungmin joined him in his glare. Chan already worked too hard, both as the leader and a producer of the group. He didn’t need the additional work.
“Don’t worry Sungie, I’m not doing anything like that. My idea involves the whole group.”
The whole group? Seungmin felt Jeongin perk up and exchanged glances with Jisung across from him. This was interesting.
Chan continued, gesturing wildly with his hands. “I was thinking that we could go around and say one wish or goal for this year, something that you really want. It can be anything, from some food to something in a song. Please make it attainable, though. Don’t say something based on chance, like an award, or something downright impossible. And, everyone else can help make that wish a reality. I just want to do something that can make you all happy, and put your minds at ease.”
There was a silence as everyone took that in. Seungmin brainstormed a little. What was something he desperately wanted? A new camera? No, he still liked his old one. What else?
“I know what I want,” Jisung declared. Seungmin shifted positions to face him, almost hitting Jeongin’s face.
“I want to have an official cheesecake day every month where we replenish our cheesecake supply.”
Everyone just looked at him until Chan snorted, effectively breaking the tension.
“Of course you want cheesecake,” Felix said fondly as Minho flicked Jisung in the forehead. Changbin threw a pillow, but it ended up near Seungmin instead.
“Well, that works. Not what I was expecting, but it works,” Chan remarked, his laughter dying down. “Who’s next?”
“I have mine,” Felix answered. “Can I have more high notes for future songs? Not a lot! I know that STAY really likes my deep voice. But I want to sing more songs like how I did for Deep End.” He looked nervous from Seungmin’s angle, which was ridiculous. STAY loved Felix’s higher voice too. He voiced that out loud to the group.
“Seungmin’s right. STAY loves your voice, no matter how high or low it is. But, of course, we can make songs with you singing higher.” Changbin smiled at Felix, cuddling into his side.
Felix let out a warm giggle in return. ”Alright.”
“I have a wish too.” Hyunjin murmured. He had an embarrassed smile on his face, though, from what Seungmin could see, the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Go ahead, Jinnie,” Chan encouraged. He looked curious about what Hyunjin had to say.
Hyunjin bit his lip. “It’s just, remember I told you how I was lonely in school? Every now and then, the feelings come back up and I feel lonely here too.”
Seungmin froze. Hyunjin felt lonely? How…how had he missed this? How long had he felt this way? The others looked like similar thoughts were running through their heads.
Hyunjin noticed the looks on everyone’s faces and backtracked. “No, I’m not lonely. All of you are so amazing and I feel so loved here. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s just insecurities, that’s all.”
Jeongin shifted and Seungmin saw him give Hyunjin a rare hug, a show of support and love. “If you ever feel like we are ignoring you, tell us. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way.”
Hyunjin let out a breathy laugh. “You aren’t ignoring me, none of you are. Like I said, don’t worry. The reason I brought it up is that, every now and then, so that my insecurities don’t get in the way, can you just remind me that you are here for me? A lot of my dark feelings are around the fact that I put so much effort for others, and receive almost none of it back. I’m not saying you don’t show me any affection—that is not what I’m saying,” he rushed, seeing everyone’s faces fall again. “Just, remind me, okay? Remind me that there are seven amazing people who love me, and they care about me as much as I care for them. Just show me you’re thinking of me, that’s all.” Hyunjin gave a warm smile to everyone before snuggling into Jeongin and Felix.
Seungmin still felt upset that Hyunjin had ever felt that way, but he relaxed when Hyunjin shot him a look for worrying too much. He knew the others would help too, but he resolved to fulfill this wish the best he could, better than all the other wishes. (Jisung’s was ridiculous so he wasn’t planning on putting a lot of effort into it. Felix’s wasn’t his department anyway; he couldn’t produce songs as well as 3RACHA did. And he didn’t know anyone else's wishes anyway.)
Chan still looked concerned, but he decided to move on to the next person, and one by one, they all said their wishes for the new year, and promised to grant them as best as possible. Seungmin and Changbin wanted the exact opposite of each other; Seungmin wanting to rap and Changbin to sing. Chan wanted the group to communicate more, so that any issues they had could be resolved as early as possible (Seungmin would definitely try, but he could make no permanent promises). Minho’s wish was less heavy, and he just wanted the members to get stuff for his cats (Seungmin rolled his eyes at this). And finally, Jeongin wanted to officially be in charge of the group’s Instagram account (as if he wasn’t already).
A few weeks later, the group gathered in the cafeteria for lunch after a particularly tough morning of dance practice. Hyunjin had struggled a little with the new choreography, and so seemed quieter than usual. The group, including Hyunjin, were still quite loud, and chattering excitedly the entire time, poking and teasing each other.
As Seungmin took a bite out of his salad, he noticed that Hyunjin didn’t react as enthusiastically as he normally did when Jisung did something funny and silently asked if everything was alright as soon as he got Hyunjin’s attention. Hyunjin just smiled and went back to his food, causing Seungmin to worry a bit. He didn’t want to cause a scene—Hyunjin would hate that—but he didn’t want him to feel upset and alone, like he described weeks earlier on New Year's day.
Getting an idea, Seungmin took out his phone and opened their group’s chat. He pinged Hyunjin on there and decided to send a wall of emojis in the chat, specifically the wink tongue emoji, which he knew Minho hated, a bonus to his actions.
As if on cue, Minho made a sound of annoyance. “Kim Seungmin, I will kill you,” Minho glowered at him.
Seungmin stared back, poker faced and ready to start bantering with Minho. He was interrupted, however, by a giggle diagonally across from him.
Hyunjin stared at his phone, which was open to their group chat. His entire face had brightened, and his eyes were in those little crescents that Seungmin would never admit melted his heart every time he saw them. He looked better than he had been all morning, which meant that Seungmin’s plan had been a success.
Minho followed Seungmin’s line of sight and softened a bit, realizing what had happened. Minho was always incredibly observant, and had probably noticed that something was off. That didn’t stop him from turning to Seungmin again and starting a verbal sparring match.
Seungmin let himself fall into the easy banter. Hyunjin was feeling better, and that was all he wanted.