Archive of Our Own ^beta

Donatello, with all of the scientific power invested in him, would dispute time and time again that ‘twin telepathy’ was not, is not, and will never be a thing. Telepathy in and of itself, down to its very essence, was impractical and impossible and, quite frankly, terrifying in ways most people couldn’t fathom. Honestly, who would want the ability to hear someone’s thoughts? It was an equation that could only end in disaster, and Donnie was well acquainted with more than his own fair share of equations. 

So to narrow down the spectrum of ‘everyone telepathy’ to ‘twin telepathy’ boded no better results than the general umbrella term. Sharing a womb or hatching at the same time while having the same mother didn’t somehow make someone more likely to be able to share telepathic powers with their sibling because telepathy in and of itself was impossible . 

Donnie didn’t care how many times Leo claimed them to be twins—which Donnie knew was impossible—and he most certainly didn’t care how many times Leo would shoot him a knowing look when something freakily coincidental occurred and claimed it to be twin telepathy because Donnie was a man of science, and science showed that telepathy was nonexistent. 

So when Donnie began to get these pits in his stomach regarding his claimed twin with a strong sense that something was off, he did his best to ignore it. Sure, his skin crawled with a familiar feeling of anxiety and his fingers tingled, begging to be tapped in anticipation and his feet ached, begging him to carry himself toward the blue-clad turtle to figure out just what was wrong with him so he could put an end to his mental torment, but he figured if he was feeling this strongly about something being wrong with his brother, then surely the others had picked up on something, too. After all, it was never difficult to figure out when something was wrong with Leo, as loud and eccentric as he was. 

However, when Donnie stepped out of his lab to grab his third cup of coffee for the night—definitely not to survey the emotional status of the rest of his brothers—he was irritated to find that Raph and Mikey seemed…normal. Like there was nothing wrong with anyone or anything, and they conversed with Leo, who was sitting in the den, eyes glued to one of the newest Jupiter Jim movies, as though their brother was acting normal. 

And Donnie could tell with blatant certainty that Leo’s behavior was most certainly not normal. 

He couldn’t tell you how, and if anyone ever asked him to explain it, he’d find that his tongue would grow numb and refuse to lull itself into any sort of speech, and he’d find that his hands wouldn’t find any signs either to converse his concerns. He just knew that something was off with Leo, and no one could convince him otherwise. Not Mikey and Raph who he could hear laughing loudly in the den over a corny joke Leo told them, not Splinter who constantly told him he should take more breaks and learn to relax a little, and not April who did her best to help Donnie through his emotional constipation. Donnie could feel that his so-called twin wasn’t alright like a constant shuttering through his bones, and he couldn’t tell you why.

But he’d certainly tell you it wasn’t because of twin telepathy. 

“Yo, DonTron!” The very person of his anxieties called from the den after Donnie acquired his coffee and began to head back to his lab. He sat on his knees on the couch, facing away from the TV with his hands gripping the headrest. “You should totally join us! Jupiter Jim movie marathon?”

The offer was enticing if Donatello was honest with himself, and not for the sheer fact that he’d have a window of opportunity to personally analyze Leo to see just what might be eating at him. He couldn’t remember the last time all four of them participated in any type of movie marathon, their time having been far too taken up with training and missions that a sane person would dub them too young for. But it was for that very reason—missions and an unfair responsibility to keep New York safe—that Donnie couldn’t participate in movie night. He had far too much to work on and, quite honestly, he was further behind in his tech enhancements than he’d hoped to be. He wasn’t the most egotistical person on the team, not by a long shot, but he had half a mind to realize that he was the one who had to engineer new developments to ensure their safety. And he wasn’t going to accomplish anything of the sort by watching Jupiter Jim movies he’d seen a million times over. 

So he shook his head, pretended not to care when he noticed the corners of Leo’s lips slump down from their smile just a fraction of a bit, and shot down Leo’s tempting offer. “I’ve got too much work to do, ‘Nardo. Another time, perhaps?” It was the best he could give them, but if there was anything Donnie knew, it was that his best was seldom good enough.

Leo proceeded to stand fully on the couch, draping himself over the back unceremoniously and dramatically. “C’mon, Donnie! You could stand to take a break! I mean, look at you! It’s ten at night, and you’ve got a cup of coffee in your hand.”

Leave it to Leo to point out Donnie’s flaws. The purple-clad turtle merely tightened his grip around the white ceramic mug. “Crime doesn’t take breaks, Leo,” he reminded him as gently as he could muster. “Besides, I’m almost done. And once I am, I promise we can have a marathon for as long as you dumb-dumbs want.”

“But Donnie,” Mikey whined, joining Leo on the couch, but only showing his eyes behind the headrest, “you’ve been in your lab all day—no, more like the last three days! We hardly see you anymore!” Donnie could hear the pout in the youngest brother’s voice, and he refrained from the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

“Not tonight, Mikey,” he pushed. “I need to-”

“I’m actually with Leo and Mike on this one,” Raph piped in, the only one who wasn’t sitting on the couch in some way, instead standing in the corner of the room, arms folded over his chest. “When’s the last time you slept?”

Irrelevant. 

“I sleep enough ,” Donnie ground out, deciding he was done with the conversation before the others were, moving to slink back to his lab. He ignored the calls for him to come back or for him to listen to them because, honestly, he was doing just fine .

It was Leo they should be worrying about. And maybe it was selfish for Donnie to wall himself back in his lab when he could very easily step back out into the den and watch over Leo for any telltale signs of what might be bothering him, but the scientific turtle never claimed himself to be thoughtful, nor would he probably ever. Besides, he wasn’t pushy. As long as Leo wasn’t in danger, he wasn’t going to push the annoying brother to speak about anything he wasn’t ready to. Donnie knew about being forced to speak all too well, and all it ever did was make problems worse.

So he worked because that’s the one thing he knew how to do best. He worked until his fingers grew numb from wielding welding tools for too long and from typing repetitively at his keyboard for longer than what was considered healthy. He stared at spreadsheets and flamework and screens until his eyes grew dry, begging that he do more than blink to keep them hydrated. He continued to upgrade, reevaluate, and invent as the seconds went by that shifted into minutes that grew into hours. He was used to that routine and probably always would be. He was a workaholic to a fault, one that he had intentions of fixing, but oh well. If someone wanted to moan and groan about it, he’d have no issue pointing out their own flaws and hypocrisies as well. 

Like…Leo, for instance. The first one of that night to make a comment on Donnie’s unhealthy work style. He had no room to talk when he could barely find it in himself to come to his brothers when he had problems that were bigger than him; problems that threatened to swallow him whole and made Donnie’s skin crawl with apprehension. 

Problems that Donnie knew his brother was dealing with now but hadn’t brought up to anyone. Which was fine , but…

Donnie shook his head, questioned why he was so worried, to begin with, and tried to shake the pinprick sensation that ran up and down his arms and left his stomach tied in knots. 

God, why was he the only one who seemed to notice something was wrong? Emotions weren’t even his thing. It would’ve been much easier if Mikey noticed something was up with their wise-cracking brother so he could bring out one of his many personas like Dr. Feelings or Dr. Delicate Touch…not that those personas were very… effective in their means of talking to others, but Mikey was much better at helping people through emotional struggles than Donnie could ever be. Hell, even Raph would’ve been a better candidate for this sort of situation, but no, it just had to be Donnie to notice. 

Whatever, he figured. It wouldn’t even matter unless Leo came to him and tried to say something because Donnie wasn’t pushy, especially when feelings were involved. He’d much rather keep the wretched things locked in a titanium vault. Of course, he didn’t want his brothers to have the same feelings or take the same approach towards emotions because he’d be the first to admit that his opinion was unhealthy, but it was different when it was just himself involved. 

He felt Leo’s presence before Leo actually made his presence known, which made Donnie feel weird. One of those freaky coincidences that Leo would surely boast about if he knew about it—which was exactly why Donnie wouldn’t tell him about it. Donnie could practically feel his brother’s appearance oozing through the concrete flooring and radiating up into his bloodstream, alarming him that, not only was the blue-clad turtle there but there was something seriously off about his demeanor. Something Donnie couldn’t put his finger on, but something he knew existed. 

The rapping on his lab door made him jolt, despite knowing his brother was behind it. He whirled his head towards the heavy door, waiting for Leo to barge in (it was weird that he knocked at all). When he didn’t enter, however, Donnie cocked a drawn on eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Can I come in, D?”

If anyone who didn’t know Leo heard him speak, they’d have thought nothing of his tone or words. They sounded normal, upbeat even, but Donnie could sense a foreign weight with each and every one of the syllables Leo spoke. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he said normally, hoping his twin wouldn’t pick up on his concern. 

The heavy door swung open, and behind it revealed Leo, clad in his typical striped pajamas as he padded his way in and shut the door behind him. 

Donnie turned back towards his project, goggles covering his eyes. “I thought you guys were doing a movie marathon,” he said. “It’s…what, a little before two in the morning? That’s barely enough time for you guys to get two movies in.”

Leo shrugged, but Donnie didn’t see it, too busy making himself look like he cared about the project on his desk. “Mike and Raph said they were tired, so they went to bed early.”

“And you’re up because…?” Donnie quipped. 

Leo made his way towards Donnie’s desk, sitting in the far, unoccupied corner. “Insomnia’s a bitch, amirite?” 

Well, he was right, and their affinity for never sleeping until ungodly hours of the morning was just another ‘twin-like’ trait they shared—Leo’s words, not Donnie’s. But Donnie felt this ache in his stomach that Leo’s usual fight with insomnia wasn’t the reason for being awake. After all, insomnia was nothing new to Leo, and it wasn’t as though he sought Donnie out every time the irritating sleep disorder decided to hold him in its clutch. 

“Literally speaking, yes,” Donnie partially conceded, fingers moving to wire delicate parts on a circuit board, “but is that really the only reason you’re in here?” 

The silence that followed was, truthfully, all the answer Donnie needed, but he was one who rathered to have concrete answers than have to make assumptions. So he waited until his twin answered verbally, not allowing him off the hook. “Yeah, that’s it.”

A lie, but fine. No one in their family was entirely truthful. They were all entitled to their own secrets. 

“Ok, so what do you expect me to do for you?” Donnie said a little harsher than he’d wanted to. It wasn’t his fault, honestly. Between trying to make himself sound like his normally passive self and swallow down the concern that kept trying to erupt from his throat like vomit, he felt like he was going crazy. 

“Nothing, really,” Leo answered. “Just didn’t want to be alone. Besides, you flaked on us for movie night, so I figured you’d be up for some company, or at the very least, I could help you with…whatever it is you’re working on.”

Unlikely. As much as Donnie loved his brothers, their ‘help’ in the lab often brought out more harm than good. He was still finding glitter in abnormal places after Mikey’s last helping fiasco. Donnie looked up to tell Leo such, only for his tongue to fall limp and his heart to falter. On the outside, Leo looked fine. Like typical, regular ol’ Leo. April could come over, take a single glance at their arrogant brother, and deem him his usual self. However, the discomfort and apprehension Donnie could somehow feel radiating off of Leo were borderline tangible . Almost as though they were their own tendrils dripping off of him, threatening to choke Donnie out in their wake. 

How was he supposed to say no?

He groaned and rolled his eyes. “Fine. But! You must do as I say, and don’t deviate to do anything else. Understand?” 

Leo smiled brightly at the instructions, saluting his brother. “You’ve got it, D! I’ll do whatever you want me to!”

Donnie was doomed, he was sure of it. 

He cleared his throat. “Right…well, uh…I’ve just been working on some more high tech means of defense, which has… primarily gone swimmingly.”

“Primarily,” Leo repeated with a shit eating grin, “which means not everything has gone well.”

Donnie bit back the urge to growl and instead took a deep breath in through his nose. Leo probably needed this. He wasn’t about to snap at his brother at a time when he could feel his brother’s anxiety oozing off of him. “Yes, well, I’ve been having a couple of issues with some binary features. Nothing I wouldn’t be able to figure out with time, it’s just…taking longer than I’d like it to.”

Leo cocked a metaphorical eyebrow at him. “Binary?”

Donnie sighed. “Yes, binary,” he replied, scooting his circuit board over in favor of his keyboard, typing something in before directing Leo’s eyes towards his computer. “It’s a complex computer code and dealing with it can be rather difficult.”

Leo looked it over, eyes looking just as lost as Donnie would expect. “Even more complex than trying to get Dad to spend time with us?”

“Oh, definitely ,” Donnie answered with a shiver. “Each letter of a word is in a string of a certain amount of ones and zeros, which, as you can imagine, can be extremely hard to memorize. Of course, I do have it memorized, but it can still be tricky trying to decode and encode everything.”

Leo continued to look over his screen, looking at the complex strands of ones and zeros as though he might be able to figure out what it says himself. It’s at that moment that the uncomfortable sensation Donnie could pick up on rages, wrapping thick and inky tendrils around his wrists and ankles to ensure he can’t move, which is absolutely bogus because he can move, but the longer Leo stands there, seemingly thinking things over, the more Donnie feels glued in place.

“So binary code is sort of like a pattern?” Leo eventually asked, hand resting on his chin.

Donnie nodded his head back and forth. “I suppose you could say that.”

Another beat of silence passed, Leo’s lips pressing into a tight, thin line. “Would you say you’re good at recognizing patterns?”

Donnie couldn’t help the gentle laugh that passed through his lips. “Well, yeah . I am the scientific genius of the family, and part of science is being able to recognize recurring patterns.”

And Donnie wasn’t sure what he was expecting Leo to say next because so far, the entire night had been an unpredictable range of events. From Leo’s nighttime visit to the strange feelings that were still ravaging Donnie’s mind and body in ways he didn’t like, surprises seemed to lurk around every corner. 

Leo’s face fell a bit, smile fully erasing itself from his lips, and that’s how Donnie knew that whatever the blue-clad turtle was about to say next was going to be heavy, or, at the very least, the man issue circulating around Leo’s psyche, the very essence of what his entire dilemma was caused by.

And though Donnie knew that, he still couldn’t help but feel shocked and confused by what left Leo’s mouth.

“So…have you ever noticed how in the movies we watch, it’s always boys with girls and girls with boys?”

Donnie may be a genius—and he’d never let anyone forget that fact—but the question left him confused. “What?”

“Y’know, in the Jupiter Jim movies and whatever other shows Dad watches, it’s always boys with girlfriends and girls with boyfriends. It’s like a never-ending pattern without a chain break. Hero saves damsel in distress, damsel in distress falls in love with her hero and they live happily ever after. Always boys with girls and always girls with boys.”

Donnie was at a loss here. He’d expected a confession of nightmares, persistent insomnia, or dammit, even just frustration at Leo himself, but media analytics was definitely not where he’d thought Leo was going. “I mean…y-yeah, I guess-”

“There’s never a boy with a boy or a girl with a girl,” Leo continued on, seemingly without hearing Donnie, still staring at the binary code. “It’s always one way, and nothing changes. Does that…does that bother you?” Heterochromia eyes moved to finally meet with Donnie’s own heterochromia eyes, distress pooling so heavily in them that it only added to Donnie’s plethora of sensations that radiated from Leo. 

It hadn’t before if Donnie thought about it, but only because he hadn’t thought about it before. Now that Leo brought it to his attention, though, he definitely agreed with his brother that girl-boy relationships took the media by storm over anything like boy-boy or girl-girl relationships. He was all for inclusivity, he just honestly hadn’t thought about it before.

What made Leo think about it? 

Donnie rubbed at the back of his neck. “I guess…not before it hadn’t?” He answered truthfully, stomach jolting at the way Leo’s expression darkened. “Why? Where’s this coming from, Leo? Does that bother you?”

Leo’s eyes took on a mysterious sheen, one that made Donnie’s discomfort levels rise significantly. Leo shook his head. “N-No, it’s fine, forget it,” he dismissed, voice shaky in a telltale sign that he was on the precipice of crying. “It was stupid of me to bring it up. It was stupid for me to come in here. I’m just gonna-” he turned on his heel to leave, ready to speed walk out of the lab, but Donnie knew better. 

Donnie outstretched a hand quickly without thinking twice, fingers clamping tightly around Leo’s wrist to keep the other in place, if not from his grip alone, from the disbelief that Donnie , of all people, initiated any form of touch. Leo’s head whipped back around, eyes locking onto each other’s as Donnie tried to assess the damage so he could better control it. (See, it’s thoughts like those that make Mikey so much better at this stuff. Donnie sees emotions as some equation that he needs to control whereas Mikey rarely thinks because emotions are supposed to come naturally .) 

Donnie swallowed, throat tight with words he didn’t necessarily know how to say and brain cloudy with thoughts that were simultaneously screaming to be heard. “No, it wasn’t stupid of you to bring up or to come here. Just…we can…let’s talk about this, ok?” Donnie’s heart was hammering in his chest, ears borderline ringing as the tenseness in the room raised, so tangible he could cut it with a scalpel. He just wanted Leo to sit and talk with him so he could stop feeling like his skin was trying to crawl off of him. He wanted Leo to be ok. 

He thanked every scientist, alive and not, when Leo nodded silently, moving to sit back on the corner of the desk he’d occupied just minutes before. He drew his knees to his chest, arms wrapping around them to hold himself steady in an all too uncharacteristic way of making himself seem smaller. 

“I…think something’s wrong with me,” Leo eventually breathed out. He was so quiet that, had Donnie not been intensely staring at him, too afraid he’d miss something crucial if he looked away, he wouldn’t have heard him. 

Donnie nodded slowly. When things go wrong, Donnie’s always got a fix. He was the fix-it man of the family for a reason. There was almost no problem he couldn’t find a solution for. “Ok,” he said slowly. “What’s wrong?”

A couple tears spilled from Leo’s eyes, but Donnie didn’t mention it. If whatever Leo was upset about was making him cry, it was serious. Donnie put a supportive hand on Leo’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze to show his support. To show that whatever Leo was dealing with, he wouldn’t have to deal with it alone. 

Leo took in a deep breath. “I don’t like girls,” he said flatly. 

Briefly, Donnie wondered if the sound of his heart breaking was genuinely audible, or if it was something only he could hear. “What?”

“I don’t like girls,” Leo repeated, a bit louder, sniffing and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “We watch those Jupiter Jim movies all the time, and ever since we were kids, I’ve always looked at him with such a strong sense of admiration. I used to think it was just because I wanted to be him, but…” he laughed wetly, sniffing again as more tears trailed down his face, “I started to realize that I didn’t want to be him. If I wanted to be anyone, it was the pretty girl he was saving who’d always end up getting to kiss him. I wanted to be with Jupiter Jim. I didn’t want to be him .” Leo palmed harshly at his eyes, so harshly Donnie wondered if he’d develop a headache. “But there’s no show or movie we’ve seen where two boys end up together. It’s always a guy and a girl, so there’s obviously gotta be something wrong with me, right? This…I’m not normal .” He was really crying now, tears flowing freely down his face at a speed Donnie couldn’t thumb away even if he wanted to, and dammit did he want to, if he could get his body to move from the pure agony he felt at Leo’s admission and distress. 

“I’ve tried to be, though,” Leo continued through sniffles. “I’ve tried to fix myself and like girls because I don’t want something to be wrong with me, but nothing I do ever works. It just makes me feel worse. Like I’m drowning in a sea of self-hatred, and no one’s around to throw me a lifevest. I want to be normal, Don, but I don’t know how .”

Donnie felt something wet run down his cheek, but he didn’t care enough to wipe it away. No, he gripped both of Leo’s wrists in his hands, once again throwing the blue-clad turtle for a loop, eyes filled with pain at his twin’s suffering. Donnie did his best to smile, but he was sure his lips were shakier than he wanted them to be. “Leo,” he said breathily, “Leo, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

Leo blinked with disbelief. “But I-”

“Leo, you’re gay ,” Donnie said between humorless bouts of laughter. “That’s all this is. You’re a boy and you like boys and that’s ok. There’s nothing to fix.” And that was true. Because Donnie had seen through his days of research on varying topics the effects of homosexual “cures” and just what they do to someone’s mind. He remembered reading articles and watching documentaries about people who’d been put through conversion therapies, only to not be around anymore. And Newton , Donnie would never understand how someone found it more important to ensure someone ends up straight than stay alive. 

Leo looked confused, cheeks flushed from crying and eyes beginning to rim red. “B-But I…but shows-”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Donnie sighed sadly, “there’s not a lot of coverage on TV about gay couples, and that’s completely unfair because it puts standards and expectations like this on people,” he said, gesturing at Leo. “There’s a lot of useless stigma and controversy around this, and that’s completely unfair because, Leo, gay, straight, bi…you’re perfect how you are. The media can’t change that.” He scooted his projects further across his desk, making room for himself to crawl into the newly formed empty space next to Leo. “I don’t have a fix for you, ‘Nardo. But that’s because there’s nothing here to fix.”

Leo sniffed again, leaning his head against the wall. “You’re not mad at me?”

Donnie shook his head. “There’s nothing to be mad about.”

“I don’t make you disgusted?”

“No more than you already do,” Donnie joked, glad to hear the genuine laughter emit from his brother. “No, I don’t think of you any differently than what I thought of you when you walked into my lab. You’re still the same annoying, loud, eccentric, repulsive, and impulsive Leo I know. Only now, I know that—whenever you want to tell April—she’s going to try to set you up with so many guys, you won’t ever want to see another man again.” 

Leo laughed again, and Donnie never thought he’d be so relieved to hear the sound that usually annoys him so much. But his laughter eventually died down and hugged his knees tighter. “You don’t think she’d care?”

Donnie snorted. “Leon, if she didn’t care that we’re literal mutant turtles , then the probability that she’ll be turned away at the prospect of being your friend solely based on your sexuality is highly improbable.” He leaned against Leo ever so slightly. “I mean, c’mon, this is April we’re talking about. April who had the ability to live a completely normal human life but decided to dip her toes into the abnormal simply because—for some reason—she enjoys our company. While we’re, by definition, literal hermits, she isn’t. She’s used to differences, and I have yet to see her turn anyone away just because they’re unique. That’s just not her style.”

Leo took a moment, listening to everything Donnie said before taking in a deep breath and nodding. “Ok, you’re right.”

But that wasn’t it. No, it couldn’t be because Donnie could tell. Maybe it was the way Leo resulted to gnawing at his bottom lip or maybe it was because Donnie could feel Leo’s grip around his knees grow tighter and tighter, but whatever was the final tip off, Donnie could feel it. So he nudged his brother gently. “That’s not all, is it?”

Leo smiled weakly at him. “How’d you guess?”

‘Twin telepathy,’ Donnie had to stop himself from saying because there’s no such thing, and he won’t give Leo the satisfaction of caving in and calling them twins, upset or not. He’d always have a point to prove, but that was ok because Leo would do the same to him. He shrugs. “You’re like April once she comes here directly after school when there’s been several pop quizzes sprung on her and she had no time to study—tense.” Which was true, and Donnie hated it.

Leo rubbed the palm of his hand against his eye, laughing wetly. “Guess nothing get’s past you, Don. That’s what I get for trying to hide from the genius.” He takes a deep breath through his nose and exhales through his mouth, a breathing technique he’d taught Donnie when they were younger and the scientist started getting anxiety attacks. “So…April would probably be ok with how I am, but…what about the others?”

Hawkins , Donnie didn’t want to laugh, he didn’t want to laugh, he didn’t want to laugh . But at the same token, this was their brothers they were talking about. Mikey was Mikey, plain and simple. Mikey loved without invisible strings attached to anything and it took a lot for that love to be snipped and conditionalized, something being gay wouldn’t do. And Raph? Raph did everything with his younger brothers’ best interests in mind. As much of a helicopter brother as he tended to be, he deeply cared for each and every one of them with a love that ran so deep he’d do the unthinkable just to keep them alive, safe, and happy. Who Leo loved wouldn’t change that.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Donnie said softly. “Mikey couldn’t hate you even if he tried to. He’s Mikey . He couldn’t even bring himself to fully hate Meat Sweats after his attack on us because he had so much respect for him from his cooking show. If that couldn’t sway Mikey’s overall opinion over someone he doesn’t even know, why would who you love make him love you any less? And Raph…‘Nardo, sometimes I think we’re all he thinks about. He loves us so much. He puts up with your and Mikey’s idiocy,” he ignored the gentle slap on the head he received for that, “and does his best to ensure we’re always safe and well. He just wants us to be happy, and he’d hate for you to feel the need to pretend to be someone you’re not because you’d be miserable. Our brothers love you for who you are. This won’t change that.”

But there was more, Donnie could tell, and this one seemed to nag at Leo the most. Leo’s heterochromia eyes shifted to the floor, tears continuing to pool in them despite Leo’s obvious efforts to keep them at bay.

“What about Dad?”

And Donnie froze at that one because what about Dad? While he knew exactly how April and their brothers would respond—arms wide open with acceptance and love—it was much more difficult to gauge where their father might stand on this sensitive subject. Their father was unpredictable at best, sometimes saying one thing when really meaning another. He was once human, so clearly he’d be at least somewhat knowledgeable of this topic (unlike Donnie’s brothers who’d lived under a rock with little access to the internet), but that didn’t mean Donnie knew what Splinter’s opinions would be on the matter, or if he had any at all. Donnie bit back the instinct to tell Leo how he saw it: unknown, a gamble. Because a tiny part of him, one that so rarely ever made itself known whispered in his ear and told him that that wasn’t what Leo needed to hear now. He needed reassurance; he needed support.

And by gold, if Donnie wasn’t going to be Leo’s number one supporter through thick and thin.

“Dad’s…a little more complicated,” Donnie admitted. “But I don’t see why this would cause any issues to form. Sure, he’s not always… present or necessarily truthful or maybe even sane,” the look Leo was giving him told Donnie that he needed to get to the comfort portion of this speech sooner rather than later, “ but …at the end of the day, he’s still our dad. He’s raised us since we were tiny turtle tots, and despite how annoying I know we all were,” Donnie laughed, “he still kept us around. He could’ve dropped us all at any time if he’d wanted to. He had no obligations to us. But he didn’t. He chose to stay. After all these years, all of the fights, tears, birthdays, father’s days, Christmases, movie nights, and so forth, he’s stuck with us. I don’t see how you being you will change the way he feels. You’re still his kid. For now till forever.”

If Leo had been trying to hold his tears back before, he wasn’t now, thick, crocodile like tears sliding down his cheeks and dripping onto Donnie’s desk with careless abandon. Before Donnie knew it, Leo was burying his face in the purple-clad turtle's neck, deep and agonized sobs reverberating harshly in Donnie’s ear. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard his blue-clad brother in so much pain. How long had he been carrying this by himself with anxiety filled uncertainty about whether or not he’d be accepted? The question tore at Donnie’s heart that he so frequently forgot was organic and not mechanical, sending shooting pains of sympathy throughout his chest. 

Cautiously, Donnie wrapped an arm around his sobbing brother’s shoulders, tightly squeezing him closer to himself as he let his brother cry his anguish and relief out. “There, there,” Donnie said in an attempt to soothe his brother, “it’s alright. It’s going to be fine. I’m here for you. I’ve got you.” He hoped his words sounded more confident than he felt. He must’ve been doing something right, though, because Leo’s sobs slowly began to quiet down until he was resolved to nothing more than occasional sniffles. Though, it was clear to Donnie that his brother had little intention of leaving his hold any time soon.

“Thanks, ‘Tello,” Leo said, voice breaking on nearly every other syllable. 

Donnie continued to rub at his shoulder, unoccupied hand snaking over to find one of Leo’s to hold. “Anytime, bro. Literally, anytime.” He gave his brother’s hand a squeeze. “And…not that there’s any rush because there isn’t, none whatsoever, but whenever or if ever you’re ready to tell anyone else and you want someone there for emotional support, I don’t mind sitting next to you and holding your hand through it. We’ll face any challenge you want together. All you’ve gotta do is say the word.”

Leo sniffed again, heavier than the last few, and Donnie briefly panicked that Leo was about to cry again, but instead of sobbing, he laughs halfheartedly. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Donnie said teasingly, earning him a noncommittal jab to the ribs, “but I know you’d do the same for me if the roles were reversed. I’ve got your back, Leo.”

Leo hummed, nuzzling his head against Donnie’s neck like he used to when they were kids. “Thank you so much, D.”

Donnie just squeezed his hand again. “No need to thank me.”

What are twins for?

“I couldn’t ask for a better twin.”

Ah , if that didn’t get Donnie’s heart. He didn’t even have it in him to correct Leo and say no, they’re not twins , and sue him if he maybe wanted them to be twins. 

He squeezed Leo’s hand again. “Ditto,” he said barely above a whisper. 

They stayed like that for a few moments more, long enough for Leo’s breath to begin to even out and for Donnie to fear his brother fell asleep. A quick glance towards the digital clock on the wall showed big, bright, red numbers flashing an unsavory 03:04 . While Donnie was content with pulling another allnighter— always content with overworking—he knew it would be in Leo’s best interest to ensure the emotionally tuckered out turtle into bed. So Donnie shook him gently, watching as Leo’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “Can’t imagine it’s comfortable to sleep here,” Donnie half joked. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

He maneuvered their bodies slowly, allowing Leo to fully gain consciousness before making any major moves. Even so, Leo whined, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. “Don’t wanna sleep alone.”

As if Donnie needed another twist to be thrown at his emotionally deprived heart. The whole ‘coming out’ situation had been enough to tank him psychologically for a month or two, but to hear something like that come out of Leo’s mouth made his chest ache tenfold.

It was almost like they were kids again.

He sighed heavily in faux annoyance. “Do you really need-”

“Please?” Leo interjected, quiet and small. “I know you’re not big on touch, and I’ve definitely probably doubled your typical quota from this alone, but…” he trailed off, words losing their direction. “I’m not…I can’t…I don’t…”

Donnie just rolled his eyes and hopped down from the table, extending his hand. “Come on,” he said. “But we’re sleeping in your room.”

Leo’s eyes lit up at that, genuinely, as though nothing had been wrong to begin with. “Fine by me.” He clamored off of the table after Donnie, taking his twin’s offered hand and holding it tight the entire way to Leo’s room. 

Once in his room, Leo flopped onto the bed first, quickly scooching over to make room for Donnie, who entered the bed much calmer than his counterpart. “It’s a wonder you haven’t broken the bed bouncing on it like that. 

Leo rolled his eyes, pressing his shell against the wall. “I invited you in here for support, not a lecture.”

“Why not both?”

“D, I’ll smother you in your sleep.”

“That a threat?”

“A promise.”

Donnie fell into a small fit of laughter at his brother’s words. “Just be quiet and go to sleep, alright? It’s early, and I’m sure we’ll have training or some mission tomorrow.” 

Leo laughed to himself as well. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m trying.” Leo looked hesitant for a moment, precariously outstretching his hand towards Donnie, allowing it to hover. “Can I…?”

Donnie snorted before throwing an arm over Leo. “I expected as much. Come here, but don’t expect this to become a habit or routine.”

Leo shook his head with a smile, throwing his own arm around Donnie’s waist before nuzzling his head into the crook of Donnie’s neck. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Silence fell over them as both made themselves comfortable, basking in the gentle warmth of each other as they waited for sleep to claim them. Right before Donnie fully went under, however, a voice broke the silence. “‘Tello?”

“Hm?”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

Donnie smiled to himself, and if his grip around his brother grew just a smidge tighter, neither of them mentioned it. “‘Course. And just because I’m tired, just this once, I’ll admit that I love you, too. You know that, right?”

“Mmhm,” Leo hummed. 

“Good. Now go to sleep.”

Silence bathed the room after that for good, breathing evening out as they both finally succumbed to much needed sleep for their weary souls.

And if in the morning Raph found the two sleeping entangled like that and he pulled Donnie aside, later on, to ask how he knew something was up with Leo, Donnie wouldn’t say twin telepathy because telepathy didn’t exist. 

But if he couldn’t help but believe otherwise, even for a moment, well, that was nobody’s business but his own.