Work Text:
The past comes back to haunt us, but it doesn't have to define us. Sometimes the promise of the future is all we need.
Ezra was reclined on the couch reading when he heard Sabine come home. Even before the lift to the tower opened, he could sense the tumultuous emotions swirling around his wife like a dark cloud. He heard her footsteps leave the lift, the front door slam, and the refresher door open and then also slam shut.
He sighed. It must have been a rough day at work. That, or she was angry at him for something. (Force only knows what that could be). The shower turned on, the sound of the water muffled by the door, so he continued reading. It would be a little bit longer until he found out if he would live to see the sun set that night.
Fifteen minutes later, Sabine emerged from the refresher wearing sweatpants and a towel wrapped around her chest. She stormed over to the closet without a glance in Ezra’s direction, fabric rustling as she dug through the dresser.
Cross off her being angry at him—if she had been, she would have confronted him the moment she left the refresher. And he would probably dead, dying, or close to death if it was bad enough. What a way to go out, though. This evening her presence was troubled, frustrated, but not outwardly toward him. Something else was bothering her.
After a long moment of shuffling clothes around, Sabine growled and slammed the drawer shut. “I can’t find my kriffing shirt!”
“Which one?” Ezra replied calmly.
“The purple one I always wear to bed.”
“I don’t know where it is.” When she didn’t turn around, he sighed. “You can borrow one of mine.”
Sabine’s demeanor changed in the flip of a switch; her head lifted, expression softening.
“Really?” she asked in a small voice.
Ezra chuckled. He knew how much Sabine liked wearing his shirts. They were always too large, so she was swallowed up by the fabric, but she always claimed they were comfy and smelled like him.
“Of course. Go ahead.”
She disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared a few moments later with a cobalt blue shirt on. The shirt was predictably too large, but looked comfortable on her. She approached the couch slowly, eyes low and shoulders taut with tension as she hugged her arms. She really was upset.
Oh, starling. Ezra opened his arms, already knowing what she needed. Sabine exhaled through her nose, a soft sigh, and collapsed on top of him. Her arm draped lazily over his chest and she tucked her head into the crook of his neck, hiding her face. He used the Force to pull the blanket draped over the other armrest of the couch over them.
“Tough day at work?” Ezra asked, dropping a kiss onto her forehead. She nodded and he rubbed her arm. “What happened now?”
“Just my coworkers being lazy imbeciles.”
He chuckled. “Want to talk about it?”
Sabine sighed and her breath tickled his throat. She shifted closer, arms wrapping tighter around him. “...Not right now.”
“Okay.” Ezra sensed that there was more to it, but for now he traced soothing patterns on her arm and continued to read. He trusted her to tell him when she needed to. They laid together in silence for a few minutes before Sabine shifted to glance at his tablet.
“What are you reading?” she asked.
“It’s a fiction that Kallus suggested. He told me that it’s a classic on Coruscant and was popular with the Jedi youth. Thought I might enjoy it.”
How Kallus knew that much about it, Ezra didn’t know. He’d given up trying to keep track of the random knowledge the former ISB agent had stored away in the libraries of his mind. Sabine hummed and nestled closer to Ezra, brushing her nose against his pulse.
“Sounds interesting. Is it a romance?”
“Some of it. The hero tries to save a princess, but she turns out to be a warrior goddess. Or something like that. I’m only halfway through.”
Sabine chuckled. “I see why you enjoy it. Is she attractive?” she teased.
“I realized that they don’t describe her specific appearance often, leaving much to the imagination,” Ezra said, a small mischievous smile twitching at his lips. “But I imagine her with slender amber eyes that turn into honey in the sun, hair as dark violet as the night sky, a perfect lean body, with a dangerous tendency for violence…”
Sabine hummed and chuckled, kissing his jaw. “She sounds incredible.”
“You don’t know half of it.”
They relapsed into comfortable silence then, the only sound being the quiet hum of the air conditioning and the gentle puff of their breaths. Sabine’s heartbeat and breathing steadied then slowed. She wasn’t asleep, but Ezra knew that she was in a mental state akin to meditation—the limbo between sleep and wakefulness when the mind and body finally goes still.
The sky was darkening outside when Ezra finished this chapter: The hero and princess were separated by the villain, who took the hero and dragged him away to the final battle just before the princess could confess, leaving the reader in a state of tension and anticipation building up to the climax. Ezra sighed and placed the tablet on his bedside table. When fiction becomes too similar to reality, it ceases to be fiction at all. What was the point in reading something he’d already experienced?
However, Kallus had been right. It was a good book, and Ezra could see why young Jedi enjoyed it once upon a time. The morals were sound and similar to the Code’s, but the action and drama was still thrilling and enjoyable. And of course, the romance was cheesy and melodramatic, but sweet. Maybe Ezra would finish the book tomorrow, but right now his princess needed him.
(He always joked that Sabine was, in all but name, a princess since she was the daughter of a Countess, which he naturally decided was basically royalty. Sabine always fervently refuted him, complaining that his ‘reasoning’ was ridiculous and baseless and therefore irrelevant. He dropped it eventually, but would still call her his princess from time to time. The endearment must have grown on Sabine, because she stopped snapping at him when he brought it up.)
He pulled the blanket up to Sabine’s shoulders and shifted so his head rested over hers and both arms held her gently. She stirred at his movement and two caramel eyes opened and peered up at him. “You okay?”
Ezra smiled and brushed her hair away from her face. He didn’t want to trouble her after she’d obviously had a bad day, but the crease in her brow and sincerity in her eyes convinced him not to lie.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he sighed. “The story just hit a little too close to home.”
Sabine scooched up until her face was hovering over his. “Hey.” He met her eyes and she smiled softly. “You’re not there . You’re here.”
Ezra smiled. Leave it to Sabine to know exactly what was going through his mind. Sometimes, he questioned if he actually was the Force-sensitive one here.
“I know.”
She nodded, satisfied with her work, and settled on her side next to him, using his arm as a pillow. “Good. I love you. You know that, right?”
Ezra leaned forward and kissed her, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “I love you more.”
Sabine shook her head, but before she could respond, a yawn swallowed her words. She sighed in content and nestled close to him again.
Ezra chuckled and kissed her temple. “Let’s get you to bed.”
She didn’t protest as he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He set her down in the soft blankets of their bed and joined her a moment later. Sabine shifted closer again and set a hand on his chest over his heart.
“ Jate ca, cyar’ika ,” Sabine mumbled.
“Goodnight, love,” he whispered back.
Sabine sighed and Ezra closed his eyes, letting the Force envelope him and the haze of slumber seep into his mind. He felt Sabine’s breath against his neck, her warmth against his skin, and her presence everywhere he searched; inescapable and wonderfully persistent. With a small smile dancing on his lips, Ezra let his subconscious seep into relaxed darkness.
Moments like these were a long time in the making. He wanted to enjoy them for as long as he lived.
Yes, the two of them went through tumultuous journeys, both separate and together, to achieve this peaceful life, but it was worth it. It was all worth it.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Ezra didn’t know how long he slept, but sometime later he felt a disturbance. When he looked at the bed beside him, only the empty sheets, still warm, remained. Brief panic flooded through him before he realized that he could still sense her nearby. Upon further investigation he found her standing outside, blaster drawn in hand as she stared up at the stars.
“Sabine?”
She startled and glanced behind her. “Oh, hey. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Are you okay?”
Sabine seemed shaken. She looked out at the fields again before nodding. “Yeah. I’m okay. I just thought…” She shook her head. “Nevermind.”
Ezra flashed her a gentle, understanding smile and rubbed his arms to fend off the nighttime chill. This wasn’t the first time either had woken up to phantom demons haunting them, but it was the first time it had happened in a while.
“It’s cold. Come back inside.”
Sabine didn’t move from her spot. Instead, she gazed back out at the glowing cityscape in the distance and the luminant twin moons above, perfectly still. Ezra approached slowly and gently pried the blaster from her fingers, releasing a breath once he had.
“Love? Are you sure you’re okay?”
Sabine sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. Ezra got the message and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They stood in silence for a few minutes, just looking out over their home. Ezra closed his eyes and reached into the Force, hoping to draw some warmth closer to them; one of the many tricks he’d learned being lost in wild space.
“Cyare?”
Ezra opened his eyes and looked down at Sabine. She played with the hem of his oversized shirt, brows knit together.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever miss… how it used to be?”
Oh. Ezra hadn’t been expecting that.
“Do you mean… before the Siege of Lothal?”
Sabine nodded. He leaned his head against hers and rubbed her arm, considering his reply before saying: “I don’t miss the Empire.”
Sabine chuckled. “Me neither. It’s just… sometimes I wake up and hear TIE fighters outside, but then I go to look and… and it’s only the wind. It’s so hard to relax even when I know I’m safe.”
Ezra sighed. He felt the same a lot of times. He would hear lightsabers igniting, see Darth Vader standing in a shadey alleyway, smell gasoline and almost feel the purrgil breathing beneath him… Their experiences in their adolescence would never leave them. It was a simple, painful fact. They might fade with time, but the past couldn’t be erased.
“I know. It will take time for us to heal. But in the meantime, how about we just worry about your imbecile coworkers.”
Sabine chuckled, but then frowned. “See, that’s the thing. I was raised in war. It’s in my blood. The Mandalorian people have fought centuries of constant battles. Now that there is none… it feels wrong not to fight. I should be doing something more than running an art gallery or dealing with my annoying coworkers. I should—”
Ezra pressed a finger over her lips. “You should be right where you are. Here. With me. Living your life because now you can . We fought for this. Now, we need to look forward to the future.” Sabine sighed and he tilted up her chin. “I understand your frustration. Believe me.”
She smiled and leaned into his touch. “I know.”
“So let’s think about the future, okay? What are you looking forward to?”
Sabine hummed and played along. This had become a game they played whenever memories of the war became too much to handle. Each would take turns pointing out something positive in the future—far or near—that they were anticipating.
“Okay.” She looked back out over the rolling fields, letting the breeze blow through her hair. “I am looking forward to… opening art classes for the students at the school.”
Ezra smiled. “That’s a good one.”
“Your turn.”
“I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my hopefully long and peaceful life with you.”
Sabine smiled bashfully and kissed him. “Good one. I’m looking forward to Hera and Jacen’s visit this weekend.”
“Same. I’m looking forward to Jacen’s birthday so I can give him the parts to his lightsaber.”
“I can’t believe he’s turning nine already.”
“I know.” He stifled a yawn. “Okay, one more and then we actually need to go to bed.”
Sabine thought for a moment and then leaned against him. “I’m looking forward to raising kids with you.”
Ezra’s heart fluttered and he chuckled. “That will be wonderful, whenever it happens. But probably not for a while, right?”
Sabine hummed and stood straight, voice quiet when she whispered, “Not as far away as you might think.”
Ezra blinked and suddenly every sense was alight. He could feel his heartbeat in his chest and his pulse in his ears. Did she mean…
“What?”
Sabine smiled and a hand brushed against her middle. “I’m going to the doctor tomorrow. I won’t know for sure until then.”
“You’re joking.”
Sabine shook her head, eyes sparkling. His heart did a thousand somersaults, dropped into his stomach, and returned to his chest.
“Remember when I was sick last week?”
Ezra nodded, his mind spinning.
“Well, I wasn’t sick. I took the test earlier after work. Like I said, we won’t know for sure until tomorrow, but…” She took his hand in hers, cheeks flushed and eyes soft. “I’m pregnant, Ezra.”
His hands shook as he pressed a hand against her belly. He reached into the Force and searched, searched, and— here it is! A tiny little light, just starting to flicker to life.
“I don’t think you’ll even have to go to the doctor,” Ezra whispered. “I can feel it! Sabine!”
She laughed joyfully as he hugged her, both gasping for breath through the tight embrace. When they pulled back, there were tears in both of their eyes.
“I can’t believe this,” Ezra whispered again, cupping her face. “You’re going to be a mom.”
Sabine giggled and kissed him. “And you’re going to be a dad.”
“Oh, Force be praised.” He lifted her up and spun around as she laughed. When he set her down, he held her close. “When is your appointment? Who knows? How long?”
“Slow down,” she laughed. “I took work off tomorrow. It will be early in the morning. And so far, only you and I. As for how long, I don’t know yet. We’ll find out tomorrow.”
“Okay. What are we still doing up? You need to rest!”
“I’m fine, Ez.”
“Nope. We’re going to bed and you will sleep. You can’t risk exhausting yourself.”
Sabine laughed as Ezra dragged her inside. “I swear, are you going to fret like this the entire time?”
“Yes. You’re my princess. I am at your service.”
“Not this again. Ezra! I come from a line of warriors! My mother—”
“Carried you into battle on her back as an infant, I know. ”
She smiled and lightly punched his arm. “Then you know that we’ll be okay.”
Ezra smiled as well and squeezed her fingers beneath his own. “Yeah. We’ll be okay.”