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“There you go my darling.”
Loki smiled down at you as he gently cradled your head, laying it back down on the newly fluffed pillow beneath, smiling that gentle, heart-breaking smile that made him so beautiful you were nearly brought to tears. You traced the crinkles around his smiling, loving eyes, remembering a time when those eyes knew only hatred and mistrust toward everyone and everything, most of all himself. The contrast was as stark as sun and storm, the pale blue-green irises now as bright as a lighthouse beckoning you home. You allowed your hands to cup the soft, ivory skin of his razor-sharp cheekbones before you were overcome with guilt and remorse, the tears you bit back from seeing his precious smile making themselves known in spite of your internal protests. His smile vanished as he rubbed your tears away with his thumbs, peppering your face with kisses.
“My love why are you crying? Are you in pain? Please my heart tell me what you need.” His voice was laced with concern he didn’t bother to conceal for with you he swore to always be honest.
“Loki-“ You choked back a sob. “I’m so sorry. You’ve made each day a gift since the moment I met you and now… now I am cursing you in return. Oh Loki I’m so sorry I’m going to hurt you.”
Your tears wracked your body with violent shudders that had him wrapping his strong arm around you and stroking your back.
“My love-“ He tried to coo before you cut him off.
“I’m sorry you met me, I’m sorry you love me. I have been so cruel to have you love me when I knew that I- That I’m- I’m going to-“
Before another word could be spoken Loki had pushed you back, grip tight on your shoulders as he forced you to look into his now fiery gaze burning with a fury that had you stopping dead in your tracks, sobs subsiding as he garnered all your energy and attention.
“Don’t you dare ever say that.” Voice a low growl before his eyes softened back to their tender gaze. “I hadn’t lived until I met you, you are the reason my heart beats and my lungs breathe air. Your love has never been cruel to me, it is your love that healed me. You saw my scars and you did not turn away so why should I have from yours? You think you have cursed me but only a life having never known you would be a curse.”
He grabbed your hands in his large ones as you coughed and your tears ran again, half in relief and half in sadness.
“It’s going to hurt you Loki…” You whimpered, nails digging into your skin as you tried to feel angry at the unfairness of it all, but finding yourself being drawn onto his lap, being calmed by his steady heartbeat.
“Yes it will. But that will never compare to the joy that came before it. When you rest my love I rest with you, for my place is by your side. Not illness nor death will ever change my destiny for you are my glorious purpose. I live only to see your smile, hear your laugh, cradle you and calm your cries.”
His thumb and forefinger gently pinched your chin, drawing your eyes back to meet his.
“Wherever you go I will find you my darling love, that I promise as the God of Mischief. Everyone knows nought can beat the Trickster.”
He smiled that smug, wolfish, signature grin causing a laugh to bubble croakily from your throat, the sound setting his heavy heart alight. You caressed his cheek, tears finally subsiding as you kissed him deeply, pouring as much love as you could into it in the hopes it would stay with him long after you could not.
“Promise me you’ll live happily. Find your joy and live in the light my wonderful Mischief. Live in the knowledge you are no monster, you are a person as deserving of love as any God and man alike. More so! Though my opinion may be biased.” You chuckled and preened when he echoed it.
“I love you Loki.”
“I love you too my darling.”
“What are you going to do now brother?”
Thor stood close to his brother having just banished the rains at his request. You loved rain, but you loved sunlight in spring moreso, yet to Loki the sunlight was much dulled today. They stood at the tree with your marking, the one that overlooked the river where the foxes often played, Thor’s question falling on deaf ears as Loki gripped the daffodils in tight fists. Thor nodded in understanding, drawing his brother into a gentle embrace, but when he heard Loki’s giggling laughter Thor’s heart twisted in concern. He worried Loki would not take this well. He held Loki back so he could look upon his face, finding it tear stained but not manic as he suspected, rather a look of hope in his eyes.
“They told me to find the joy brother, and that is exactly what I intend to do!” Loki cheered as if that made it obvious.
“What do you mean brother?”
“I’m going to find them Thor! I’ll find them in every lifetime, no matter how long it takes. I’ll wait for them.”