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“You are the father, aren’t you? That is what you are trying, but failing, to tell me. Your wife.”
“Yes.”
You turned away from your husband, not to hide from him, merely to stop for a second, to allow yourself to think before you spoke. Your husband has already shown you that he could not do that, let alone think without his cock.
“What do you plan on doing then?” You asked instead.
“I don’t understand..”
“Of course you don’t,” you turned back to him, not bothering to cover the look of anger and hurt on your face, “I have lived in the capital for seven years. The queen does not have to marry, only provide heirs in whatever way she deems fit. If she were a king, she’d have to marry, but she is not. It is a matriarchal society. What do you plan to do?”
“I-“
“You have just told me that, despite being my husband for the past seven years, have fallen in love with another woman, the queen, and have bred her. What is your next move?” You held your hands together in front of you to ground yourself.
You felt like an idiot. When you had married Anakin, you were young, barely 16 summers old while he was 19. He was charming and handsome, and he still is, when you were introduced by your mother. Apparently, your mothers were childhood friends before they moved away south towards the capital, while you stayed in the north. You were swept very quickly off your feet by his passionate smile and dedication. He was determined to be a knight before he could properly walk apparently, and was well on his way to becoming the best one Naboo had ever seen.
Now at 23 and 26, he was good enough to be the queen’s personal sword and guard. And lover, apparently.
“I have wanted a child from you since the day we married,” You turned away again, this time hiding your trembling hands, “Seven years I have been a faithful and dutiful wife. Even when you stopped sharing our marriage bed I never strayed. What do you think people have been saying about me, as a wife and woman during our whole marriage? For if people were to find out that while we have been married you have started having heirs with anyone but me. Your wife. They will talk of how shameful it must be for me for your seed not to root with me. But what if they know it’s because you can't stay in our bed long enough for it to take root? Then they shall speak ill of you.”
The pain in Anakin’s eyes told you enough. It felt good, for him to hurt after all the pain he had caused you.
“What do you wish for me to do?” He asked, clearly not knowing what to say or do. Foolish, he is.
“Return my dowry so I may return home,” You demanded, “Let me be free to finally have a child you won’t give me. I don’t care what shame will befall me in my home, but if I were to stay here? And wait to see what the babe looks like? I can’t, I won’t allow myself to be humiliated by someone I thought I loved, that I thought loved me at some point. Let me go now before it is too late.”
“They shall still talk,” Anakin stressed taking a step towards you, but you brushed his pleading hand away.
“Indeed, they will. But I will be home, with my family. And maybe some shred of my reputation will allow me to remarry and hopefully have a family of my own in the future.” The resigned tone of your voice was making Anakin uneasy, you could tell.
“Have you been planning this?” He demanded to know.
“No.” You answered coolly, “but I have long had my suspicions of you and where you have been. Did you know that yesterday was our wedding anniversary?”
And he faltered. No, he did not.
“No matter. I have confided in Sir Kenobi, and he has told me that if you agree to dissolve our marriage he would kindly escort me home.”
“Why would you talk to him?!” He flared, anger and annoyance once again returning. If you and he were younger, and if the circumstances were different, you’d think him to be jealous as he has in the past of male acquaintances. But you know he is simply hiding his true feelings and intentions. He doesn’t like to be called out or to be proven wrong.
“He was your master and has been my only friend in the capital since we’ve been married, Anakin. He is the one who guiltily confirmed my suspicions of you.” You did not allow your own anger to show at him now, “Do you know what it is like? To have to go to your guard captain's home, to ask what has become of my husband? To ask him, our dearest friend, why my husband has strayed from me?” As much as you fought it, your eyes watered and your voice quivered, “To ask what I did wrong to make him not want me?” You added quietly.
Anakin started to say your name but you swiftly cut him off. He was guilt-ridden. But he needed to feel your anguish.
“But no matter. I have decided that even if you do not return my dowry and allow me to leave, I will regardless before the child is born.”
He was silent. At a loss for words now.
But truly, what was he expecting? That he could have his marriage with a mistress of the queen’s caliber on the side? With the joy he was ripping from you by having children with another?
“I am of the north. I was never meant for the warm weather of the capital anyways,” you said offhandedly, “I miss my furs, my coats, and having boar for dinner after a successful hunt.” You hated how lonely you sounded, but it was the truth. “My brother will take me in if my mother does not.”
“There is nothing I can say to make you stay, can I?” Anakin asked, sitting in front of the hearth that was never lit beside the night of the winter solstice.
“No.” You shoot your head, “You’ve betrayed me beyond measure, Anakin.”
He nodded, his eyes finally revealing that he was finally grasping the situation. What he had done.
“Do you love her?”
“… I do.”
You nodded, thinking as much, “Good. And she loves you?”
“I think so.”
“I may not be happy with what has become of my marriage, but you were my friend once, a confidant. And I do want your happiness, even if I am the cause of it. Raise that child in a loving home. They don’t deserve anything less.”
You bid your husband a good night, knowing it was much too early for sleep, but you didn’t think you could eat anything, let alone cook for the two of you. You would allow him to think your words over, knowing that he would not give you an immediate answer. He had matured a bit in that area as he aged, but still had a bad habit of letting his temper through.
-
It would take two days and two nights before he would speak to you again on the matter.
You also had not seen him or heard of him during those two days and nights. Not that that little fact was a surprise to you. He had to speak with his lover, the queen, about what you had asked. Any and all possible divorces were passed through the queen’s council so that such an event could be properly documented for both parties. Divorce was not common in your kingdom, but it was an option for those who needed it. It was something Queen Padme’s predecessor was adamant about implementing early into her reign. It was not a new concept to any of you.
What you were surprised about was coming home to not only your husband standing in your living quarters, facing out the bay window there but the Queen herself was perched on the sofa that faced the window as well.
Elegant as ever, she sat with a straight back, her purple robes and skirts billowing softly around her form. She was beautiful and knew any fool could easily fall for her. You could not blame Anakin in that department.
Your soft noise of surprise alerted them to your presence as they both turned towards you.
Quickly, you placed the few necessities you ran to the market for, in preparation for your eventual travel beside the door, closing it quietly behind you before you could offer the queen a deep curtsy and greeting.
Your lips were pursed when neither of them said a word as you moved more into the space, heading for the kitchen.
“Would you like some tea, your grace?” You asked, breaking the silence, and the two out of their stupor.
“That would be lovely,” she nodded, perching herself back on the sofa, her billowing skirts flaring out a bit more at the action.
As you got to work on the tea, you heard their hushed voices from behind you but did not bother to try to make out what they were saying. They obviously were here about your request, but you would allow them to broach the subject.
The tea took no time to boil and steep, unfortunately for you, making the encounter come much quicker than you wanted. Even though you were confident and straightforward, it was only because you’ve had more time to process the end of your marriage way before the two of them even thought of broaching the subject. They never saw you finally reaching a breaking point in tears day in and day out when Kenobi confirmed your suspicions. You did have Sir Kenobi you could talk to, he was the only one you could talk to. Anakin didn’t even know that his former master was your only true friend in the capital.
So with a heavy sigh, you placed three tea cups, sugar and cream, and the teapot on a tray before you made your way back to the pair.
Placing the tray on the table, you placed a cup in front of everyone before removing the teapot and fixings. You placed the tray on the liquor cabinet behind the sofa before you started making everyone’s tea.
You knew how Anakin took his tea, so you poured his first.
“How do you like your tea, your grace?” You asked softly as you filled her cup.
“Cream and sugar please, only one though,” she requested.
After the queen’s and your tea were finished, you sat beside her on the sofa, and the three of you sipped the tea in silence. As stated before, you would not be broaching the subject.
Over your teacup, you watched the two exchange a glance before the queen placed her cup and saucer on the table with a sigh.
“The council and I have decided that your divorce and the return of your dowry shall be done within the next few days,” You nodded to her words.
“How quickly were you wishing to leave?” Anakin asked, his eyes downtrodden. Not that you blamed him. He was speaking before his wife and lover, discussing his divorce.
“I can delay if needed, I did not give Sir Kenobi a specific date, just that it would be before the next moon.” They nodded, knowing that meant you still have roughly a fortnight before you wished to leave.
Another shared glance, “I only ask because my mother would like to see you off. She… she knows and is the only one I told. She did not believe me when I said we were splitting due to you simply wishing to return home, and I found I cannot lie to my mother even after all these years not living with her.”
You grinned into your teacup. You were quite fond of Anakin’s mother, and the fact she knew something was up on Anakin’s part and not yours made you want to giggle. Anakin was a terrible liar.
“I would love to see her before I leave, and it would be nice to have a friendly face seeing me off.”
He nodded.
“We are going to backdate your divorce,” Queen Padme said suddenly as if it was something she did not want to reveal, “To make it easier on me, so I may one day announce the father of my child. I don’t want the people-“
You held your hand up as she got ready to nervously ramble.
“You don’t need to explain it to me, your grace.” You said easily, obviously having come to better terms with this situation than she. She may be older than both you and Anakin, but these types of situations must bring out some sort of nervous energy. “You are a good queen. I understand, don’t worry. I won’t confirm or deny anything that is asked of me. It is my personal business that no one but we need to know. I wouldn’t seek to make you look bad in any light. I don’t… I don’t care how it happened but it did. Whether it be a lapse in Anakin’s judgment or yours, it is in the past and this was always going to be the outcome. I’ll be fine, I always am in the end no matter how long it takes.”
The queen said your name so gently, you don’t think your name could have sounded sweeter, “If you need anything, anything at all please let me know before you leave. I may be your queen and your senior, but you have handled yourself with such grace compared to anyone else in your shoes. And I know I cannot ask for your forgiveness, but I am sorry. You deserve better.”
“Thank you, your grace, I do deserve better, hence why I believe it is best for me to return to my home. But unless you could find me a new husband in the north I doubt there is anything you can give me,” you replied humorously, making her crack a grin.
“I know that you are only jesting with me but I do know many lovely noble families who would treat you well.” She smiled gently, before standing. “May I ask why it is Sir Kenobi escorting you?”
“He is my only true friend here, in the capital,” you explained, “And the only one I confided in on my deteriorating marriage and the one who confirmed your dalliances. He’s always seen you as a brother, Anakin, and wanted to make sure you weren’t getting into any more trouble than usual.” You smiled to yourself, truly appreciating their relationship.
“I see. I am happy that he has agreed to escort you. You’ll be safer with him than ten of the Guard’s best men.”
You nodded, quickly standing, giving her a quick curtsy as she excused herself.
Anakin lingered. He had something else to say.
“Only my mother, Obi-Wan, and Padme’s advisor Organa know about this,” he vaguely gestured between the two of you, “The truth about it anyways, as the council has to document our divorce. Will you… truly be ok?” He asked, that was the real question about it all. He wanted to know why you weren’t cursing him, fighting him, giving him a piece of his own medicine when it came to temper.
“Eventually, as I said,” you nodded, clasping your hands before you, “I’ve had a much longer time to process this. I’ve known since winter.”
Anakin sucked in a sharp breath at that admission. You were coming up on summer now. You’ve known for months.
“I’ve had time to cry, to rant and rave to myself or Sir Kenobi. How he even still considers me a friend, or a lady, after all I’ve said. I accused him of being a part of the conspiracy and keeping it from me at one point. But in truth, he had only just found the true nature of your relationship right before I confronted him.” You sighed, turning to pick up the tray to bring the used teacup to the sink.
“And Obi-Wan… he’s just a friend to you?” he couldn’t help but softly accuse.
You rolled your eyes at his question, not turning from your task at hand. The question was rational, he was committing infidelity, and it was natural to assume you would be doing the same.
“Yes, he is only a friend. Sir Kenobi is the one that insists we are, but I cannot see myself calling him by his first name, it wouldn't be proper. Nor did I think it was appropriate to be friends with your former, unmarried, master, but he’s always been kind and friendly towards me. When he assumed we were friends, I assumed he was just being nice as I was your wife,” you shrugged, “it will take me some time to open my heart again, I think. As much as I want a family, a loving devoted husband,” you couldn’t help the bite in your tone, “I need time. You broke my heart, Anakin. I loved you, and I still do.”
And finally, it seemed like the knight truly knew what had been done. It was more than a man taking a mistress on the side. He had fallen in love with another woman. You did not know if he ever loved you in the first place, or just saw your marriage as a one of convenience as it was arranged.
“You are still young-“
“I am aware,” You quickly said, taking the tray of used teacups to the kitchen, Anakin close behind, “but I will also be a young, divorced woman. I don’t have my virtue intact that would incite most men into a marriage with a woman. Nor do I have social standing. I was only given a title when you were promoted as an official knight.” You carefully placed the dishes in the basin before looking over your shoulder at him, “These are my problems now, Anakin, you don’t need to worry."
"Until you cross the border, I will worry." He said firmly, "I... I am sorry," He said softly, "I believe you are the last person that I could wish this treatment upon you, but I have gone and done it. I can only wish one day you can forgive me."
"Thank you," You nodded, not promising to forgive him, but understanding.
-
Just under a fortnight, you were ordering a few young boys looking to make a few coins, where you wanted your belongings loaded on the carriage that would be taking you north.
Obi-Wan spoke to the carriage driver, only glancing back at you or the boys every once in a while as they went over the plans and what route they would be taking one last time.
With insistence from the queen, you were traveling with two carriages, one that held the majority of your things, the other for you and Obi-Wan's comfort. She also assigned three other knights, younger ones that were looking to earn their place, that would ride with you, along with the normal carriage staff.
Anakin's mother arrived just before everything was loaded, greeting you with a smile and a warm hug.
"I have a going away gift for you," She was dressed in a modest green dress, neither being too loose nor too tight on her form.
Even after all the luxury Anakin showered her with, she still kept to her humble roots.
"Oh, you did not need to do that," You returned her smile, looking down at the bundle she held before you.
"I know, but my sweet girl," She squeezed your arm in a comforting manner, "You deserve it. It is not much, I promise. Open it please?"
You conceded and unwrapped the bundle.
"Shmi..." You whispered, eyes misting as the blanket unfolded.
"You always spoke of how fond you were of Anakin's blanket, how you made me promise on the first birthday you shared with us as a family that I would make one for your child when the time came. I know that you are no longer formally my daughter-in-law, but I hope when that day does come, your little one will enjoy this."
She had made you a baby blanket, a hand-stitched one just like the one you had seen in her home that was once Anakin's. It was not red as Anakin's was, but white and yellow, soft and just as sentimental that she had remembered your request as a young girl.
"Thank you," You gave her a watery smile, that she returned in kind, eyes just as cloudy as yours, "I will treasure this, even if no child comes from me."
"Oh you are more than welcome, my sweet girl," She brought you into another hug, "And your time will come. Be it a child of your own, or one chosen." She looked past you, at Obi-Wan.
He looked like he had finished all his own checks of the carriages, also paying off the boys before you could even think of opening your coin purse.
"I believe it is time," He called over to the two of you, making you nod, holding the blanket to your chest as Shmi held you at arm's length.
"Please keep in touch?"
"Of course." You nodded vehemently.
You gave her one final goodbye before joining Obi-Wan at the carriage.
The captain helped you into the coach with a careful hand, joining you as soon as you were settled.
With one last wave, you were off.
Anakin has said his final goodbyes the day before, surprisingly not with the queen in attendance.
Every time you were in his presence, she would accompany him. When the divorce was finalized, it was required by the council, that along with your dowry he must pay for half of all of your combined assets as they heard of your wish to return home.
Normally, you would have refused the extra, but Anakin was insisting and assured you that he would not be harmed by the amount. That was when the queen herself insisted on the extra security for your trip, you would be traveling with quite the amount of coin.
So you relented.
Your journey would take you just under one month to make it to your birthplace in the north. You remembered your trip when you first arrived in the capital, you felt as if the trip had taken ages, but you were confident that this time would feel different.
You longed to see your family, to feel the crisp air of the snow melting in wake of the summer months.
You gave Obi-Wan a blinding smile as the carriage left the gates of the city, heading towards the border of the capital.
The older man mirrored your smile with one of his own.
"Thank you for accompanying me, Sir Kenobi."
"You know, you may call me Obi-Wan, I have always asked you to refer to me as such," He commented casually, making you flustered.
"I am aware, but habits are hard to break," You stammered, "But I will try."
"That is all I can ask, my lady, we do have a long road ahead of us.”
You look back out the window of the coach, nodding absently at that. “We do, don’t we?”