Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If he could try hard enough, Shikamaru's peaceful face could perhaps just mean that he had fallen asleep again.

If he could try hard enough, the thin line of blood trickling down his dear friend's chin was in actual fact, drool, and then they'd be back in their academy days when Naruto would wait patiently for Shikamaru to wake up so he can make fun of him for that.

He sounds like Shino, and the thought sends yet another wave of grief crashing through him.

I can't cry. I can't cry. I can't cry.

There was nothing to cry-cry about. And even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to. And he needs to preserve his water. No one could afford being dehydrated or hungry at this time.

He wishes he were still a child, selfishly sometimes. Because if he was a child, he could wail and sob all he wanted, and he couldn't bring himself to care it he was called a cry baby for it.

He'd been called worse, and at least it gave him proof that someone was still there to actually insult him for it.

He's still a child though. He's seventeen and god-his birthday was coming in a week. He'd be an adult in a week. He prays no one remembers.

Could he dare himself to imagine it? The normally calm and collected face of Shikamaru, hanging open in embarrassment and shock, before he splutters himself an explanation while hastily wiping the drool off his face?

Except, Shikamaru's eyes stay closed. He does not wake up.

Even when the rain drenches him from head to toe, even when Sakura quietly tries to console him while not so subtly steering his frozen body inside, Naruto can't seem to move his gaze away from the hastily built stone grave of his friend, even when they have to move soon, because he is coming and, they don't have the strength, and-

He can't move his gaze as he watches the grave get crushed to bits before his very eyes.

Oh god, he's so cold. It's because he keeps standing in the rain. It's strange, right? They're still in the Land of Fire. The weather is supposed to be dry and pleasant, even if perhaps not as dry as the Sand. It rarely rained, and when it did, it was always a pleasant drizzle. 

It's pouring. It's always raining nowadays, as if they'd moved to Nagato's home country instead. But that's alright. The rain covers their scents at least, even if Madara would be to track every other thing that was available.

Kurama? He still asks sometimes, before catching himself once more. 

Ah, that's right. He's still so very cold. 

And then Sakura's hands go cold too and-and everyone's still looking at him, as though he held all the warmth that is left in their broken world. He is stared at until he feels like he's on fire and yet inside his veins are still frosted ice.

Don't look at me.

Naruto spends what he thought were his final days waiting for his death. Everyone now looks at him in a sort of resignation and tells him he's done his best. They wait to die together. 

When he's not waiting, he mourns for the dead, and mourns for the living. It has to be him, no matter what others may tell him. 

He has to die last, so that he won't have to die knowing he's left someone behind. Naruto doesn't even know where Sasuke is, or if he's even still alive, but thinking about him hurts all just the same.

It's a familiar ache already, a scar that runs deep in his body. It shouldn't hurt anymore, but Naruto couldn't leave it alone no matter what people said. So, due to his obnoxious prodding of the old wound that keeps reopening, because he hoped that it would heal faster if he could just take the risk-

The scar is now twisting, ugly, just like the electric map Sasuke had carved on his chest with his chidori as a final parting gift.

Naruto says he does not play favorites as a reassurance, because no one wants to be forgotten when they die. He lies, because despite his best efforts, it's Sasuke. Of everyone, he mourns for Sasuke the most, whether or not his raven haired companion still lives.

-

Madara eventually finds them, he always does. Sometimes Naruto even wonders if he's purposely dragging the wait out just to see if the waiting kills them first, or if they start to hope instead and then he swoops in, taking out half of what's left, and then lets a bit of them leave, for next time.

Naruto is now what's left of what once was everyone. 

Everyday he wakes, he runs. Naruto's final days were no longer of him waiting, trying his best to count his breaths and heartbeats until they return to some semblance of normal as nothing happens, no. 

Naruto's final days are spent running. The only form of rest he gets, are of his shattered form hitting the ground, exhausted and wheezing. Unconsciousness was a blessing, and yet his pounding heart knows, even when he's so tired every limb is like lead weighing him as he trudges through an ocean in a futile attempt to preserve his own existence, it was also a curse.

He is up and running again from the moment he hears the slightest fracture in the nearest branch.

And then he dies. There's nothing much to say. It was no way, heroic, or dramatic, or poetic, or complicated. But he is tired from running, from thinking, from waiting for some miracle to arrive. 

He'd lost that kind of hope a long time ago. 

Ah, perhaps there's one thing Naruto still hopes for, even as he shudderingly gasps his final breath.

He hopes Sasuke is dead too, that he'd die sometime before Naruto had, so that Naruto really has, truly become the last one left alive.

Well-that title actually belongs to Madara, but Madara has so little left of a conscience at this point, and Naruto is simultaneously too weak and too exhausted to still consider him a person.

And so, Naruto dies.

-

-

-

Naruto wakes up to four Hokage heads on the monument, instead of six. 

But that's right. Because Jiji hasn't died yet. And the fourth has, so Jiji is resuming his position as the San-dai-me Hokage. 

He hadn't been 'Jiji' for a long time. Most days, he's now just referred to as the Third. Naruto misses him fiercely nonetheless.

A throbbing feeling spreads in his chest.

Naruto blinks in confusion and rubs his eyes. Could you miss someone who was still alive that much? After all, you're still seeing them everyday, they're still breathing, and laughing maybe not with him, but at him but-

Surely, that must be better than thinking about their corpse or the last time you see them and the things you wish you could say to them? You have no idea 

It had been a rather strange dream, he thinks, this time checking for the expiry date on the back of his milk carton.

Something isn't right here.

Naruto wakes up to four Hokage heads on the monument instead of six, but a large piece of him missing, and what's there in its place is infinitely larger than than what was there before, and all the edges are jutting out at awkward angles so he feels ugly and dread and everything is wrong wrong wrong-

This isn't right.

The milk carton drops from his hand and he'd spilt milk all over his wooden floor. If he doesn't clean it up soon, it'll stink for the next several decades.

Chapter Text

Naruto walks to the Academy. 

The puddle of milk in his apartment had been swiftly taken care of, so Naruto walks to the Academy. He doesn't really like going, no. Normally, he would have just ran away and skipped class for another day, and then Iruka-sensei would have to go track him down again and give him another lecture. 

Iruka-sensei always hastened to reassure him that he didn't need to act out in order to receive attention from him, and yet, Naruto still feels bliss whenever he is taken aside and scolded. Old habits die hard.

Even the harshest words can turn into honey as long as it's directed at him.

Naruto likes the attention, even when they leave him bruised and broken with tears running down his face.

But something in Naruto tells him he needs to go today. Just to check for something. For what?

Naruto's no good at taijutsu, or ninjutsu, or god forbid, genjutsu. But he does know Sexy no jutsu, his very own special jutsu that he invented, so if he could just remove the whisker marks and add on some clothes, he'd be like any normal civilian child. Of course, Naruto always undos the henge when he arrives at the Academy before going into the classroom, because it would be embarrassing if anyone found out he had to disguise himself to school.

He's supposed to be headstrong and stubborn, and announce his presence to the world until people acknowledge who he was. That was why people looked up to him. But not today. Today, just for today, Naruto allows himself to be weak for once and throws on a henge to school. He can't stand being looked at today. 

He sits in his seat in the Academy and…does not pay attention to anything Iruka-sensei says. He should feel guilty about this, a distant part of him wonders, because Iruka-sensei cares so much about him, more than anyone else has had in his entire life, so couldn't he be grateful for once and look up to the board to see what his teacher was writing about?

Shikamaru nudges him lazily, head still buried between his arms, and glances over to the direction of the board as a silent gesture of, the teacher's calling on you.

Naruto follows his gaze and catches Iruka-sensei staring at him with a slight twitch in his eye.

"Oh! Iruka-sensei! Sorry, I didn't see you there!" He says loudly, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. The rest of the class giggle at him.

Iruka-sensei just sighs, like he always does. "Naruto, can you tell me what the five elemental affinities are?" 

Naruto blinks, he opens his mouth to say, " 'Course I don't know what that is, Iruka-sensei, can't you give me a better question?"

 What came out instead however, was, "Sure! It's um-wind, lightning, earth, water and fire 'ttebayo!"

Iruka-sensei stares at him for a while, a stupefied expression on his face. Then, he breaks into a grin. "That's-that's right Naruto! I'm glad you've been paying attention." 

Naruto instinctively grins back, glowing under the praise, before pausing. How… had he known that? It was like instinct, his answer, as if someone else from a lifetime ago had that drilled into their heads and gave him that answer. The rest of the lesson continued in shocked silence, Shikamaru still stares at him like he'd grown a second head when they leave for recess. 

Because Naruto had gotten a question right, and you didn't even need to be the one sitting next to him to know that he does not pay attention.

As always Naruto sits on the swing and, despite all of his denial, mopes over his loneliness. He couldn't help himself! Everyone has someone to tell their day to, to talk to, to gossip and other juicy stuff he could only dream of having. Weirdly enough, he feels an odd sense of grief too, as he watches his classmates yell and scream together.

That aching sense of longing he often feels was tenfold today, it was as though he could just keel over and collapse with how much his heart throbbed seeing them together like that. Happy, happy without him.

But the weirdest sensation has to be the overwhelming relief he feels too, watching them all. They're all still alive- Of course they were alive.

Briefly, he lets his eyes roam through the playground. He sees a tiny black dot with the Uchiha clan crest at the back of his shirt, and instinctively, he thinks, Sasuke , the talk of the class. He was handsome, cool, and did everything effortlessly. Everyone liked him. Especially as a clan heir, his status and power made it so that practically everyone swooned and fawned over him, Naruto thought, instinctively scowling. He grips the ropes tight, swinging slightly faster.

But his eyes focus on Sasuke, and Sasuke, noticing that he is being watched, glares right back.

Naruto is suddenly choked with dread as he stares back into the inky pools of Sasuke's eyes, not yet dyed red with the Sharingan. 

The Uchihas get wiped out, about a year from now. His own voice tells him. He is bombarded with flashes of images that stay with him, however brief it may stay for. 

An empty compound. 

"I'm home." No one responds. 

Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate kill him kill ki ll him kill him

Take revenge. Mom's dead. Dad's dead. Itachi killed them all.

Mangekyo. Kill your best friend.

-

-

-

The Infinite Tsukuyomi.

The moon is dyed blood red like-like

The Sharingan.

Naruto falls off his swing and face plants into the dirt. Everyone gathers around and laughs at him until recess ends and they all return to their classrooms. Naruto is the butt of every joke that exists among children in the village.

There are no consequences after all, if you are mean to the demon brat of the village.

Stepping into the classroom again feels hollow. Naruto has not so much glanced at Sasuke ever since what he dubbed The incident in recess. 

Kiba kept eyeing him worriedly and even Choji held a fistful of snacks at him to eat. Naruto had eyed the nutritional value of them before, and despite eating so much ramen it could make a grown healthy shinobi cry, even the sheer amount of saturated fat that existed in a single chip was enough to make him queasy.

Naruto just keeps quiet and lowers his head to rest between his arms, mirroring Shikamaru.

"Hey-" Shikamaru starts, before cutting himself off, sighing. 

"You look dead, Naruto. Is everything alright?" Perhaps dead was not the right word, Shikamaru thought after he said that. Naruto looks haunted, normally bright blue eyes seemingly have gone muddled and several tones darker in the duration of recess. By all means, it shouldn't add up. This was not the first time Naruto gets laughed at, and much to Shikamaru's reluctant dismay, it would not be the last, either.

Naruto felt his eyes widen. He gave a nervous chuckle and went back to hiding between his arms. "I'm fine." Comes his muffled response. After all, it's true. Why wouldn't he be fine?

"Just checking." Shikamaru mutters before going back to sleep. He offers no more explanation, and if it weren't for the fact that he keeps one of his eyes open to survey the classroom as he usually does, Naruto would have thought he was actually asleep.

Naruto feels his own eyelids drooping shut. Ah, he hopes no one notices him sleeping again, before slumping forwards, breathing slowly.

-

Naruto wakes up in the sewers and he wishes that had been an exaggeration. Everything around him is tinted in a sort of sickly yellow, and he feels as though he's trudging through fog. None of this should be familiar, and yet, it is.

The Kyuubi no Kitsune lounges lazily behind its cage, and yet the aloof action does nothing to hide his sharp fangs, long claws and nine bright, swishing tails, blooming like fire from behind him. His act of boredom does nothing to hide the longing behind his half lidded blood-red eyes or the fact that he lays here, completely alone.

And then a human comes. 

If it were any human, he would just snap forward and sink his teeth between their soft and tender flesh as his jaw fills with crimson. But this wasn't any human. This was his jailer.

So soon? He wonders fleetingly. Normally the child should be twice the age he is currently before he is sent here to steal his chakra. He decides to entertain himself while the Jinchuuriki is here. 

The Kyuubi darts forwards and snaps his jaws against the cage he is caged in, snarling. If this had been some fluke, an accident that had lead the child here some life threatening accident it is, because he doubt jinchuuriki could normally access this place at will then he would have no issue chasing him out, and become afraid of him. 

The child does not react. 

"Hi! He says, still bubbly and as bright as his obnoxiously blond hair. "What's your name, Mister Fox?" And Kurama freezes mid-lunge, causing him to awkwardly slam his snout onto the bars, drawing an instinctive whine out of him. 

Embarrassed, he releases a low warning growl from the back of his throat, and retreats back to the darker corners of his cage. 

"I didn't mean to scare you!" Naruto calls, desperate for it to stay. "I'm sorry!" 

When the Nine Tails speak next, his voice is ancient and powerful, words vibrating deep in Naruto's bones.

"You're rather strange, human." 

Kurama returns to his position, lying down, tails returning to their idle flicking. "What is it that you want?"

"I just told you!" The child says, face scrunching up like he's about to sneeze. It pulls against his whiskers and Kurama might admit that this one is…cute, because the old fox had met Naruto all the way back from when he was isn Kushina's womb. The whiskers were a sort of memento he left behind for the kit, but now he's trapped inside Kushina and the Yondaime Hokage's spawn, and he is still bitter.

"Your name!"

"I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune. One of nine tailed beasts made of chakra. And you," he says, extending a claw to poke at Naruto's stomach, " Are my warden."

"That's not a name 'ttebayo!" Naruto says, stepping closer to the cage. Does he have some kind of death wish? From here, Kurama could so easily crush him and free himself, just like he had often found himself fantasizing every night he spends in this damp, dark, cellar. Kurama does nothing.

"That's more like a title, that's what Iruka-sensei says. Now tell me what your name is. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and you better remember that name 'ttebayo! I'm not telling you twice!" The little kit stands with his arms crossed proudly at his declaration. Kurama is silent now.

" Kurama." He utters the syllables, much quieter than before. 

"Great!" Naruto says, beaming. But then his eyes widened like he just registered what Kurama had said. 

"Wait!" He squawks, gesticulating wildly. "I'm your- Warden? Did I put you in here? I don't remember putting you here though-" he continues, frowning to himself.

And then Naruto says, "-How do I get you out ? Is there a key somewhere?" And if Kurama had been a lesser fox his eyes would be bulging out of his sockets by now.

"You wish to free me ?" He rumbles, incredulous. "It can't be comfortable there." Naruto fires right back, and he's right, Kurama does not quite have a physical body as he is a being made of chakra, but his joints ache, after being confined in such a cramped space for so long.

"Hn." He grumbles, closing his eyes. 

"Now you just sound like Sasuke." Naruto says, after a pregnant pause. 

"The Uchiha?" Kurama says, peering one eye open. Suddenly, Kurama's ears flick up, like they've detected something. 

"You should leave, kit. Your flesh bag teacher is calling you. Come back here later or something." Naruto smiles at him and disappears.

It's only then that Kurama mutters a silent curse, having realized not only did he give that human a nickname, he had also given him an invitation to return.

-

Naruto wakes up to Iruka's warm hand gently nudging his back. He hums in response, peering one tired eye open. "Iruka-sensei? What are you doing here?"

Iruka-sensei smiles back gently at him, and that aching feeling that had faded throughout the day returns to him full force. "Class is over. Everyone's gone home." 

"Oh." Naruto says, yawning. "You should…leave too then, Iruka-sensei."

Then, Iruka frowns at him. "Naruto, you've been a bit off today, are you alright?" People have been asking him that a lot lately, and everytime, he responds to it the same way: he's fine.

But when Iruka-sensei says it, it feels different. It hurts in every way imaginable and yet-so relieving. He feels like a cracking dam trying its best to hold all the water at bay, and Iruka-sensei's words tell him it's alright to let go and break apart and let the water wash away all the village the dam is supposed to be protecting. 

"I-" Naruto says, and to his horror, his voice starts cracking. "Iruka-sensei." He tries again, voice sounding far older than any six year old should sound. Iruka's eyes widened in slight alarm, worry pulling at the scar on his nose bridge. 

"Naruto-is everything alright?"

"You won't-you won't leave, will you?" Iruka chuckles at his question, even as several alarm bells go blaring inside of his head. 

"Of course I won't leave you, Naruto." And then Iruka-sensei opens his arms for Naruto to fall into. Naruto cries, but he does not hiccup or sob. Tears stream silently down his face, as if someone else had simply taken over his body and began crying. 

Iruka-sensei was one of the first to die. He dies the best way a teacher, or perhaps-even a parent would have, protecting Naruto.

Chapter Text

Iruka-sensei takes him home and does not stop asking him questions.

"Have you been eating well?" He asks for what seems to be the fifth time that hour, leaning over to look at Naruto in concern.

"Nothing different from what I normally eat." He responds, because that didn't feel like a lie. His cupboards are stacked full of instant ramen cups, because he's barely tall enough to reach the tips of his fingers over the counter without a stool propping him up, because he couldn't afford to buy anything else, and because ramen is the best.

"What about sleep?" Iruka-sensei prods, subtly taking Naruto's hands into his own when he trips. 

"Well enough." He huffs, slightly defensive. Too well, in fact. In recent times, Naruto has been sleeping so well he's afraid he'd just stop waking up one day. The temptation of sleep is still ever high, even now, as he yawns right after he said that, prompting Iruka-sensei to raise one eyebrow at him. 

"'Cause I've been sleeping so much." Naruto explains, while trying and failing to stifle another yawn. 

"Right." Iruka-sensei says, before yawning himself. 

"Hey Iruka-sensei," Naruto teased. "Maybe you should get some more sleep yourself."

Iruka-sensei makes a half-hearted grumbling noise and ruffles his hair. "I don't need to! That was just because you yawned and I caught your yawn-bug!" 

Naruto looks at him questioningly. "A yawn-bug? Should I ask Shino if he knows what that is?" Iruka-sensei just laughs, and then bends down to ruffle his hair again. Naruto puts his hands protectively around his head. "Stop ruffling it-you're gonna mess up my hair even more than it already is."

Iruka-sensei chuckles again. Then, he sobers up. "Naruto. If anything is bothering you, you know you can come to me, right?"

Naruto stares at him. 

"Yeah, 'course I know." But even that sounded hollow to his own ears. 

Naruto walks back to his apartment alone.

"I'm home!" He announces, sliding off his sandals and clicking the door shut. As always, silence greets him. 

"Welcome back." He whispers, staring at his too empty apartment. Naruto swiftly turns to grab a ramen cup for dinner, so his eyes don't start watering. Perhaps if Naruto made a clone of himself he'd not be so lonely anymore. But that just makes his life sound even more sad, and he told himself he was done with wallowing in self-pity a long time ago.

He still needs to go to the Academy tomorrow, and he has homework to do-which he normally does not do, but it's nice to reassure himself that he is productive but his last pencil broke and he is out of ink for his brush. He pulls out Gamma-chan. She's still fat with money, but he'd rather not bother himself with shops. He gets kicked out of them, anyways. He gives her an affectionate pat and returns her to his pocket. 

It's kind of silly, because Gamma-chan's not actually alive. She's only a frog wallet Jiji had been so kind to give to him on his first day in the apartment. But it's kind of like caring for a pet, he muses. He has to always make sure that Gamma-chan is fat and healthy. It'll be no good for him if Gamma-chan stays skinny for too long. It was nice to pretend he wasn't alone. Human whim, he supposes. 

The water finished boiling. He pours it into the ramen cup. And now, the part he hates the most. 

The three minute wait. 

Naruto lies on the floor of his apartment and counts the cracks on the ceiling. Despite all the dirt and grime on there; he'd never really been the best at keeping things clean, he couldn't bring himself to care. He debates on glancing up at the clock to see how much time has passed, but knowing from experience, only about ten seconds had probably passed. 

Naruto closes his eyes, and opens them to a familiar cage with a familiar fox inside.

"Kurama!" He says, sitting up, exhaustion all forgotten. 

"Human." Kurama rumbles, not even bothering to open his eyes. 

"It's Naruto!" He insists, jumping up and down, splashing the water slightly. Strangly enough, he does not get wet. "Na-ru-to U-zu-ma-ki!" He spells the syllables out.

"You shouldn't even be here." Kurama starts, a slight twitch in his eyebrows giving away his foul mood. Naruto gets an inkling that he's always 'in a foul mood' but he was nothing if not determined.

"But you told me to come back!" He says, walking closer. 

"A lapse in judgment on my part. Leave." The fox snarls, tails flicking in agitation.

"I don't get it. You were so- friendly earlier." Kurama does not respond. "I'm not gonna leave. Kurama-" 

That had been the wrong thing to say. " No one gets to call me by that name." He hisses. The water from inside the cage turns orange and begins bubbling. " The only people who do are either dead or locked away- like me." 

"But-" Naruto says, haltingly. "I was going to find a way to free you, remember?" Kurama only snarls at him, a warning growl building at the back of his throat.

"You want me to leave?" He rumbles, subtly extending hot red chakra over to Naruto.

" Your own father locked me in here!" He taunts, but it doesn't give him his desired satisfaction to see the little blond kit flinch like he's been struck.

"You know about-about my parents?" He says meekly, feeling the foreign word roll in his mouth.

"What were they like?"

"You don't get to make demands. You're stuck here with me."

"Yeah! That's why I'm trying to free you, d'you see? 'Cause its not comfortable there and I'm sure you don't wanna stay either, so-"

" I'm the reason why they all hate you!" Kurama roars, shockwave so big it sends Naruto stumbling back clumsily until he falls over.

What?

"Are you-" Naruto cuts himself off, a choked sound making its way up his throat. Kurama prepares himself for the familiar sting of the word ' monster'. 

"Are you real, then?"

"You wish to know what happens if I leave ?" Kurama cuts him off, instead of dealing with the clusterfuck of feelings building in his chest.

Naruto gives a tiny decipherable nod, still looking at him in what the nine tails hope is fear. 

"Well, yeah but- my parents-?"

 " Fine ." He hisses, not letting the little blond change his mind, and the red chakra creeps up onto his ankles, and it burns so much but before Naruto could even open his mouth to scream-

The piece of paper stuck infront of the cage goes a bit out of focus-Naruto thinks it says 'seal', but the rest of the kanji was an decipherable mess, and he hadn't even gotten that good at reading yet-

He peels, just a little, just a bit of it, off.

He blacks out.

-

Naruto wakes up to a trashed apartment. Everything is in ruins. His curtains are torn, threads hanging loosely like they think they still can cover up his windows somehow. Plants? Smashed and wrecked, dirt strewn everywhere on his floor. His table leg is broken, his chair thrown across the room with a missing armrest. His ramen, a sad puddle spilt on the floor stares back at him. 

It's cold.

In the back of his head faintly, there's a growl that fades out, but it says, 

" …You'll grow up eventually, and you'll come back here to steal my chakra like all the rest…it won't be long now… " it says, like its exhausted all its energy on hating again. 

" I've only shown you what would happen if only a little of me comes through. You see? " A little laugh. "That's why they lock me in. I'm dangerous." It said, like it was mocking the sentiment. 

"You shouldn't let such a bad fox roam free...because it is the monster that will destroy everything."

Then, there was nothing more, like it had gone to sleep. Or as if he had dreamt the entire line up in the first place. 

The walls were decorated with claw marks, and it would make a pretty cool wallpaper, if it weren't for the fact that his fingertips are throbbing and his blood is dripping steadily onto the floor. Naruto hastily wipes it off on his shirt, even if the rough texture causes his wounds to scream out. He really didn't want to dirty the floor more than he already had. 

He examines what once was the table and to his horror, there are bite marks on it. He gives his teeth a little check running his tongue through them. Which reminded him: his throat was dry, the realization drawing a weak cough to escape him. His throat felt like he had just swallowed mass chunks of wood, which dear god, he hoped wasn't the case. The missing areas around the table don't help. 

Abruptly, Naruto felt a bit like crying. He must pull himself together.

Right. Naruto needs to stop mourning over the sorry state of his apartment and clean up before anyone sees this. He doubts it would do much, because his ninja-stalkers go to his apartment when he's not in it. And then Jiji would find out. Ah, there was no point then.

I'm the reason why they all hate you

That's what Kurama had said, Naruto thought, a small frown tugging at his lips. He can't even think of how he'll fix this, because the sun was already up. He had to go to school.

He tries, just one more time-to go back to the sewers to apologize to Kurama, because that had felt important. Because he still wanted to be friends. Because despite everything, Kurama had been there from the very begining of his life, and even before that, so he must knew Mom and Dad too. 

What greets him instead, when he closes his eyes, is vicious snarling and an intense feeling of hate killing intent, paralysing him with primal, instinctual fear before shutting him out. When Naruto opens his eyes again, they are watering.

He does not try again.

Naruto reaches the doorknob-and then his vision starts going funny. Like he's seeing in double and it's tilting and swaying like he's on a boat. Not that, he's been on a boat before. 

Naruto leans against the wall a bit for support, and tries to breathe through his nose. His whole body ached and burned, and it wasn't often that it did, not to this degree. It was rather strange how quickly he got used to the sensation before opening the door and leaving the apartment. 

-

Naruto hadn't realized he'd forgotten to use a henge until the first pebble hit him on the side of his head, causing him to stumble slightly. Some toddlers laugh at him from afar before being ushered away by their parents. And then another pebble hits him. And then another. And another. Then another-until he's running for his life. The adults never get physical with him, not really. The only thing they could do to him was throw harsh words at him and gossip. Even if they wanted too, his ninja-stalkers made sure they were taken care of before they could cause any real harm. They were under strict orders not to interact with him otherwise.

It's a different story for children. They're so unpredictable you couldn't tell if they actually meant any harm and, seeing as there were never any consequences for doing anything to him, well…human nature, right? They must think it's funny, watching him run like some cartoon character as he is pummeled with pebbles. 

There's a gash on his forehead-and it's not healing like it usually does. It's a bit harder to run with blood leaking into his eyes but-no biggie.

It's times like these that Naruto remembers why he absolutely has to remember to graduate from the Academy. To save everyone To prevent rocks from hitting his forehead, because all genin and higher ranked ninjas get forehead protectors. 

Maybe he'd tie it on his neck, cause that's the most vunerable part of his body. A rock strikes his arm, causing him to grimace, still panting for air.  Or his forearm, then, maybe.

He never really got to decide, in the end, so he went with the standard look. Changing it so suddenly felt awkward, and he never knew what to say to explain himself if anyone was going to ask for an explanation. Somehow, it hurt more to think that no one would notice, or care.

He makes it to school-on time. Naruto all but collapses onto his seat, and tries to calm his racing heart. To say he felt bad was a complete understatement. 

Throughout out the day, there's a sort of-sluggish and forceful way that he moves, that surely earned him some odd glances. One moment, he's bouncing up and down and grining just that bit too hard , the next, he looks like the world just ended and he moves like a drunken man. Or a suicidal shinobi on a mission, take your pick.

-

This time, in recess, Naruto sits on the high bar instead, and stares out onto the Hokage heads with a strange expression on his face.  

The goal of being Hokage, just a few days ago seemed like something within reach, something that he had wanted to achieve more than anything in the world, to earn such a title that would make all respect him and see him as who he is. Now, filled with this strange feeling of despair and hopelessness, Naruto abruptly feels like giving up on everything. Would becoming Hokage really mean that everyone would finally love him?

He likes to fantasize a life as Hokage sometimes. The earth, sea and mountain would bow before him, Sasuke would be on his knees fawning over him, girls squeal whenever he walks pass them, maybe even start frothing up and fainting if he ever was feeling coy and winks at them. Any enemy shinobi would show up that mean old man who won't sell him fish would show up at his door step grovelling for Naruto to save him, and then BAM!

Naruto comes to the enemy shinobi.

Maybe they just had some issues with the village or something, because Naruto gets it. The village can frankly suck sometimes, so its perfectly understandable to want to leave and then plot to destroy the whole place. And they'd talk it out over some tea, like how Jiji does whenever he pulls a particularly nasty prank, and then he'll tell them to apologize to the mean fisherman. Teruchi and Ayami would get to move into his newly-built Hokage castle, and make him ramen everyday and everything would be so great. And then, maybe Sasuke would see how awesome he would and ask to play with him, or fight with him, for realsies! Maybe they'd interlock hands and eat ramen together everyday too!

Even if the enemy shinobi doesn't listen and want to kill anyone anyways, then that's okay too! Because by then Naruto would have become strong, and tall, so tall, the tallest! Even taller than Sasuke, who'll look just like a toothpick standing next to him, and then Naruto would just beat the enemy shinobi until they are ready to listen.

When he thinks what life is going to be like when he becomes Hokage, those are still the first few things he thinks of. But it sounds so far away, like its something that would only exist in a perfect world, like the Infinite Tsukuyomi however, it isn't real, and can never be. Naruto is smart enough to know that if Jiji doesn't live like that, and if all his predecessors don't have such selfish, selfish ambitions, then all the things he wants to happen will never come true.

Even if all of that were to happen right this moment, Naruto wouldn't be able to bring himself to feel happy, either. Because no matter how badly he dreams about it every night, it's something that he can't ever see himself becoming for real. And that was why he rejected the Eye of the Moon plan. Having every proof that something you've worked for his real is infinitely more satisfying than an event going the way you wanted on a whim. In conclusion?

Naruto was going to be in real trouble if he doesn't find himself a different goal soon.

-

Naruto looked awful the whole day. Perhaps it was a weird sense of guilt, suddenly realizing how much years of constant degrading and mocking could do on someone, because no matter how much they tried to tell him to shut up, he wouldn't, and that was a testement to how strong he was.

The silence today was deafening. 

To his relief, no one mentioned and weird waxy paleness to his skin, the way his hair seemed wilder and his eyes seemed duller, or his forehead now caked with dry blood running down on oneside of his face.

Most of his wounds from yesterday night had begun scabbing over already. 

It was class with Mizuki-sensei today, not that the man cared much about the currently condition of his health. Because he's a traitor. He's going to hurt Iruka-sensei and I need to stop him before he does.

"Hey Iruka-sensei." A tiny mop of blond appears, barely going past his teacher's desk. Naruto fiddles with his fingers a bit, and although the act may seem innocent at first glance, the myriad of angry red lines snaking his hands say otherwise. 

"Thanks for…err," He swallows, like he wishes to say more. "Thanks for walking me home yesterday." 

"Sorry I always cause so much trouble, but maybe you won't have to deal with me tomorow 'ttebayo."

He sniffs once, then shakes himself out of whatever stupor he found himself in. His eyes are shining with unshed tears but just for a moment it makes them look brighter.

He smiles a little, but it's the first genuine one he'd offered in the day. He takes out a small candy wrapper he fished out from the trash, because Naruto is kicked out of every candy store he comes near to, and in shaky handwritting, repeats his message. He gently folds it and puts it on Iruka-sensei's desk, in which the man in question is leaning over ever so slightly, snoring softly. 

The Uzumaki in his name is still a bit too complicated for him to remember, not that he'd tell anyone he can't spell his own name, so he draws a poor imitation of a Naruto fishcake on some ramen instead, and hope his teacher understands, that it is enough.

When he turns and utter the words,"Good-bye." It felt like a resignation. Like he'd given up on fighting entirely.

Kiba watches from the windows, and drops the onigiri he was eating.

-

The walk back to his apartment now was the worst, because Naruto knows what's waiting for him beyond the door. 

It's not as if he could stay out in the open either, because they will eventually look at him, and he has no one to help him out of this.

The Third Hokage stands, cigarette in mouth and the room is stuffed with squadrons of his ninja-stalkers the Anbu black OPS. 

Hound is among them. Kakashi-sensei

"Hi Hokage-Jiji." Naruto says tiredly, still trying to smile up at him regardless. 

Hiruzen smiles back at him, and even if it feels forced and pained, Naruto let himself be lead away.          

Chapter Text

The wait in the office was tense. Even with all his pranks, he's never gotten the entire office this tense before. They look at him like a ticking time bomb, look at him like he's a relic, a memory, a mere residue of those in which they loved, and more importantly, look at him like all those in the village do.

It felt like a betrayal. 

Naruto hides the shaking of his hands by fisting them into his shorts, hides the chattering of his teeth by clenching them together, showing his gums and baring teeth, and hides the way his eyes seem to water up every few seconds by staring down to his hands and blinking rapidly. He knew it was coming, he knew he had no way to stop it, and yet it makes him frustrated all the same.

"Naruto-kun." The Third Hokage starts, sitting down, in that same solemn tone he uses when he advises him on something, like apologizing to that lady who called him a monster and shoved him to the dirt for wandering just a tad too close her shop for vandalizing what was apparently, her late son's memorial-which in his defense, was a block of stone on the corner of the shop with some gibberish kanji on it, and the memorial wasn't the only thing he'd vandalized. 

He had actually felt a bit guilty, and even attempted to clumsily fix the chipped memorial after muttering out an awkward sorry, but she simply slapped his hands away, because this place had been permanently tainted by his touch, and nothing could ever bring him back.  

She moved out shortly, and he never sees her again. It's not the first time, in which he wonders if everything he touches really is destined to decay and rot into something ugly. 

This time, in the office, there is no soothing scent of tea to distract him. He smells the faint pine in the wooden floorboards and the faint scent of cigarette smoke that lingers around the Third. 

"...You aren't in trouble now, Naruto." And Naruto oddly feels like scoffing. "But we've found some… concerning evidence of…a-a hypothesis if you will and-" 

The Third goes about talking in metaphors (or well at least, it had felt that way) and beats around the bush for the next five minutes. Naruto thinks he might have popped a vein. 

"We just want to make sure that is not the case." 

He lets them inspect his stomach, making sure to sound oblivious and stupid. "Was it something I ate 'ttebayo?" -which draws a snort out of the Hokage, one which he tries to muffle behind his robe. "I suppose that's one way to put it."

Then he frowns-forehead wrinkling up in a funny way. "Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary." He says, after a while. And he would be right. Nothing was. Kurama hadn't-hadn't done anything when he could have, so why? Why wasn't that enough for them to believe that Kurama isn't a monster?

"Naruto." The Third Hokage turns to him. "Have you…? Experienced any large gaps in your memory recently?"

"Not that I can remember!" He chirps, giggling slightly. If anything, he would have been experiencing excess memory instead, because rather than a chunk of something that's missing he gets a new, giant brick shoved into his perfect little library of recollections. 

Really-that had been where the majority of his issues began. But Jiji wouldn't really get it if Naruto told him. Jiji could be nice sometimes, he supposes, and Naruto loves him very much, but Jiji never took the time to understand his issues either, and all the advice he gets-it's like he's being spoonfed a page of a parenting or child psychology sketchbook, or god forbid-one of the lousy pieces of advice parents would say to their children to get them to shut up and stop whining about their issues.

The Hokage turns away from him and talks to the people in ANBU. "Why else would his apartment look like that?" And Naruto tries to stutter up a lie, noticing an opportunity.

"M-maybe-!" He starts a bit hesitant, feeling hot all over as all eyes turn to him. "Maybe it was that cat with the bow that always runs off 'ttebayo!" Ignoring the almost instantaneous exasperation and yet fond and nostalgic voice that followed after it that said, Tora, he continues, "I-I stole some fish from it the other day ya know', Bow on its left ear, who belonged to that crazy-rich lady who'd always hired their particular team to come after her dear pet.

-Until he got sick of it.

Shut up.

"-and-and-maybe it got so mad it trashed my apartment!" He finishes at almost a yell, voice high pitched. If the Hokage does not believe him, he might just be arrested for lying to the Hokage. 

He's not sure if that's an actual rule, but that's what everyone says so the children behave, and even the adult shinobi follow it. 

The Hokage nods distractedly and shoos him away. "We'll take a note of that for now."

Naruto gets sidelined. His grin fades a little, before returning full forced.

"So-so!" He says, almost hopping on one foot with hopeful relief, "You'll leave it then?" 

Silence meets him, and the speed in which his expression falls is one to behold.

Instantly, childish anger threatens to consume him as Naruto immediately understood what Jiji had meant by that. 'Until we can find more evidence of what we believe, whatever you say does not matter'. His hands curl into fists. 

"Keep an eye out." Jiji says, talking to the ANBU. They nod. "Check his seals, bug his apartment, look over everything until we have proof that the Kyuubi is-"

"You're not listening to me 'ttebayo!" He bursts out accusingly, cutting the old man off. Several dozen ANBUs twitch like they're about to move forward and intervene, like he really was a ticking time-bomb and that does nothing to quell his sudden, uncontrollable rage. 

"Naruto! Stop this childish outburst of yours-" The Hokage says, and it's like-Naruto can't even hear him anymore. "You're a fully-fledged shinobi now, behave like it!"

Jiji's mouth is moving and yet Naruto can't comprehend a single word he says.

"I told you it was Tora!" -nevermind the fact that he shouldn't even know what the cat's name is, because the cat isn't supposed to be real- " Now leave it! Leave me alone, and stop looking at me like-" he hates the way his voice breaks off at the end. " Like-"

Jiji stares at him like he is terrified. 

But Naruto does not stare back. Instead, his gaze extends over past the Hokage and rests on the window in the office, in which outside, shows the sky darkening and the lights slowly coming on, in which reflects back to him a visage of an angered wrinkled up face with red eyes blazing and even more scarred over looking whisker marks to match it. 

He thinks this might just be what a monster looks like

(Then, a smaller voice says, no, not a monster. The only thing that scared him was how livid and angry he had looked. He looked like he hated-he looked like the villagers)

"...Get it." Comes the trembling voice of the Hokage, looking at Naruto in what looks to be a sick expression of grief.

Naruto swallows bile. "It?" He says, voice crackling. 

"Wait! Wait! You've gotten it wrong 'ttebayo! It's me!" He says, taking a small step back towards the door. Do they-? They can't have, please please-How many more pleases must he say before they just did what he asked?

The ANBU step forward. Hound steps backwards.

"Hokage-sama-" Comes Hound's voice, clearly hesitant. "I don't think this is-" 

Kakashi slumps to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. Another ANBU comes out from behind him.

"You must not," the Hokage says, voice raw like he's about to cry, and god, Naruto wishes to throw up. This can't be happening.

"You must not let yourself be fooled. This is no longer Naruto." Any hope he had crumbled away to ashes. Panic settles in. "No!" He screams, stepping back again. "I'm me! Uzumaki Naruto!"

They won't stop stepping closer. Kakashi lies on the floor and he does not get up. What did they do to him?

"I understand that Hound is still too mentally compromised for this task." The third Hokage continues, like anything he's done is noble or justified. "So the responsibility must rest on me."

The window might break if he rams against it hard enough, right? The door might swing open fast enough if he tries hard enough, right?

"Get it! Seize the Kyuubi no Kitsune !" 

He runs.

"The seal must be breaking!" Yells the Hokage from a distance, voice getting smaller and smaller through the blood roaring through his ears. 

"He's too young-the Kyuubi's chakra-" He has a name, Naruto wants to desperately scream. He's not-allowed to use it for some reason but- Kurama's not an 'it' not a monster like they all said he was not- "-shouldn't be leaking out of him at this stage yet!"

Kurama Kurama Kurama, he finds himself begging, as he strains himself running onto the rooftop. It shouldn't be that hard to outrun the ANBU normally with the times he's had to run to escape their pursuit after a prank, shedding his orange jumpsuit normally does the job, but-but- he's exhausted, and his seal is burning and-

If it weren't for that constant radiating pain coming from his stomach, Naruto thinks he might've already gone paralyzed from the killing intent directing itself at him.  

Briefly, Naruto thought, while struggling to suck air into his lungs, if he should go to Iruka-sensei, but his teacher was such a stickler for rules he's afraid that-

He won't be able to handle it when Iruka-sensei hands him over to the ANBU in a misguided attempt of care.

And that was when he truly despaired. No matter where he ran or how fast he took his legs, they would catch up to him eventually, and he had nowhere to go. Naruto stops, and instantly, he is tackled to the floor. 

"It's not me! I didn't do anything! And it's not-" his voice cracks as his face is pressed harshly to the dirt. "-not the fox's fault either he was just so angry you put him in me and everyone hates us and he didn't even mean to kill all those people it was-genjutsu- " he broke himself off with a gasp, choking on soil. How had he known all that? He thinks, with fervent panic, clawing on the ground as a futile attempt to escape. 

"I'm sorry, little one." The Third walks towards him, cigarette in mouth. 

Naruto simply snarls at him, attempting to mask his erratic breathing and the tears gathering around his lashes.

"But until we deem you stable enough, you must be locked away." 

"Don't do this to me, don't do it, Jiji-" he croaks, still hyperventilating. Some of the dirt got in his nails, not that he ever keeps them that clean anyway. There's still so much he has to-has yet to-

More ANBU hold him down, and something cold pricks his neck. No no no no no-

The scream he let out was nothing short of animalistic.

Chapter Text

" Why did you do it?" 

A voice growls at him, the first thing he takes note of when he wakes up. As much as he could in the cramped confinement of his cell, Kurama paces around, agitated. His nine tails flick wildly around him, a clear tell to his current distress.

" Even when they seized you and-" The Kyuubi cuts itself off, making a sound of frustration. " It should be more convenient for you if you just stopped defending me! Now you're in this mess because you didn't see me as a-" 

Monster.

"I won't take it back 'ttebayo!" The puny human stands up, voice unwavering. Kurama is stunned into silence "You were mean when you wrecked my apartment-which cost a lot of money ya know?" Kurama scoffs loudly; that was a whole lot more than just, mean. But Naruto didn't look like he was done yet.

"You should have just left me alone! None of this would have happened if you never insisted on befriending me!"

Naruto flinches, hurt evident on his face. Kurama almost considers taking it back. Almost.

"But-you didn't kill anyone!" Naruto splutters out on what Kurama tells himself are only excuses "Or-or stay po-ses-sing me!" Naruto says, slowly pronouncing the syllables of a particularly difficult word. "And I don't go back on my word! It's my ninja way. You aren't a monster, no matter what anyone says! Even you!" 

Even you.

How ironic it is, Kurama having to convince Naruto to hate and despise him and call him a monster-even if that is the last thing he wishes to be called. 

Kurama just stares at him. His fangs are still barred, but no longer in a grimace. He settles at last, attempting to mask a facade of calm. "I don't believe you." He rumbles, after a moment. Naruto opens his mouth to argue-

"Humans, they are all the same." He mutters, seemingly more to himself. "Fleshbags and meat sacks at the end of the day."

And yet. And yet.

"But we'll see to it."Kurama essentially blurts, before he could stop himself. Perhaps just this once, he'll indulge himself, he attempts to justify. Kurama has to visibly look away at the pure look of joy emanating from the brat's stupid face. After all, it will be a long time in which he'll have to stay here. Might as well seek some form of entertainment. He'll prove the brat wrong with his thousand years of experience.

It all ends the same, so really-there was no point trying to prove anything to the brat who was just going to turn against him eventually and steal his chakra.

But Kurama still opens his mouth and says,"We'll see."

-

Naruto wakes to bright fluorescent lights shining above him, causing his pupils to shrink into pinpricks as he struggles to get used to the sudden change in brightness.  

"You've made the right choice, Hiruzen." A voice he doesn't recognize drawls. The voice is dripping with malice and ill intent. Instinctively, a growl leaves his throat. He does not like this man. 

"Is this a bit much, Danzo?"

"Not at all, Hiruzen. This is what must be done to keep the Leaf safe. You trust me on this, yes?" The blurry image of Jiji nods. Then he says, "Yes." after a moment. 

The lights are still so harsh. "Why have you not altered the seal? Is this not why you brought him here, to my doorstep?"

"If we mess up, the Kyuubi may escape. It could mean the end of everything with just one wrong brushstroke. Not even Jiraiya contained the necessary draftsmanship in fuuinjutsu to play around with such crafty handiwork, courtesy of the Yondaime Hokage." Naruto didn't know what over half of those words meant, but he does understand that for now, he and Kurama are safe. He untenses ever so slightly.

"What do you suggest we do then?" Danzo says, throwing it out as if it were courtesy. "...We keep him in the cells until he is deemed safe enough. A wooden one. You can ask Cat to make it himself." 

"Was that all you needed me for, Hiruzen? For one of my pets? For Mokuton?" Danzo says, almost unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. 

"No, 'course not Danzo-"

"It's a lousy plan anyways. You're losing your touch, Hiruzen." Danzo turns away as Hiruzen rubs his head sheepishly. It was a strangely…human interaction between the two, as though they were friends.

"What do you suggest then, Danzo?" Even from the blurriness of his sight, Naruto could spot that cheshire grin from a mile away, like a hunter who had successfully caught meat lying in his trap. 

"I think…" Danzo says, pronouncing the 'k' at the end, "I suggest we kick it up a notch. What do you say?" His smile dampens a little at Hiruzen's lack of enthusiasm, but it wasn't due to discouragement. He just looked mildly annoyed instead, like Hiruzen didn't understand nor was amused at whatever joke he just told.

"He is an Uzumaki and the Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Think about it. The sheer amount of chakra this child surely has. Just wood won't be able to hold him." Hiruzen raises an eyebrow.

"Where are you going with this?"

"We should find a way to constantly drain his chakra somehow to keep him from having enough energy to escape. The Kyuubi is a being made of chakra, is it not? All tailed beasts are, and that is what makes them magnificent weapons." Naruto feels like he's spectating his body from the outside, and yet is coherent enough to begin snarling at Danzo. Danzo just looks at him patronizingly, the way a disappointed mother would. He feels sick.

"This one ought to learn some respect," he mutters under his breath. "I would have suggested we borrow some chakra draining bugs from the Aburame clan, but those are costly to maintain, and I'd rather not develop myself a bad case of entomophobia, you know how creepy their clan is with their insects ." Danzo had spat the word out, highlighting his particular distaste for them. 

It sounds to Naruto Danzo had already gotten himself a particularly bad case of-of well- however you said that word. 

"Instead, I reckon our fuuinjutsu team could put together a chakra draining seal, which we could use to supply our shinobi with essentially- an infinite amount of chakra. " Naruto sluggishly attempts to move his arm, but is met with resistance instead. He's only realized now that he had been completely strapped onto a table. 

A faint whine leaves him instead. 

"Jinchuuriki are known to heal fast, and Uzumakis are known for their stamina and vitality, Hiruzen. Naruto is strong, and he would recover." The Hokage seems to visibly deflate, nodding over Danzo's words. 

"But you know…" Danzo drawls, fingers ghosting over Naruto's quickened, but weak pulse going thump thump thump ,  "I could always use one more ROOT member, and I'm sure," Slender fingers wrapped around his bony wrists-"I will be able to discipline this one into obedience, Sharingan or no." 

"Absolutely not." The Hokage says immediately, all traces of mirth gone from his voice. "I am only barely allowing you to keep your organization made up of traumatized young orphans with shady backgrounds, out of trust of you as a friend."

Faintly, Danzo mutters, "He fits the criteria." Before smiling slyly and saying, tilting his head to one side, "Worth a shot." The Hokage laughs with him. 

"How will we know if this works?" Hiruzen asks, one eyebrow raised. "Would constantly draining his chakra really make the fox's influence subside over the boy?" 

"I suppose you can only test it to make sure." Danzo makes a shrugging motion. "We can do that." They move and more cold-bad-stuff gets pumped into him once again. His heart flutters like a fleeing hare, muffled whimpers escape him as he slowly feels himself succumbing to drowsiness. I don't want this. 

He wants to go home, wherever that place is. He wants to go to Iruka-sensei and they have ramen together, he wants to see his classmates again, even if they always treat him like a loser because there's still Shikamaru and Choji, which Naruto thinks care about him, there's still Kiba, and Hinata-even if she behaves oddly around him, and he wants save everyone, even though no one has died yet-he wants-he wants so badly.

And what he wants, he cannot get. 

Naruto sinks.

-

He wakes to his knees, already healed over despite him scraping them as he got tackled to the ground digging against the hard wooden floor.

It takes him a moment to register that statement. The hard, wooden floor. The next thing he takes in, are the scrolls of kanji and seals, littering his cell, sapping his chakra away, little by little. Naruto feels like a reservoir, but someone has broken his dam, and his water comes spilling out at an alarming rate. 

Then he feels the sucking sensation, even when he feels like he's nothing left to give.

If you worked in ROOT, occasionally, you would be granted access to the basement, usually to retrieve important files for a mission. Anyone who has gone down there would tell you, that is, if they could, that there, the sound of a child wailing did not stop for three days and three nights. 

Naruto feels his strength waning and he goes to sleep tasting salt.

-

"Is their plan really gonna work?" Naruto looks up at him, blinking his blue eyes owlishly. 

"Will you… be gone?" Naruto asks, as if he's too afraid to say 'die'. There's an odd sort of vulnerability in his voice as he says that though, as though he's grieving already before he even gets a confirmation of the fox's answer.

"...It shouldn't, in theory. But we won't let them know that." Naruto feels his mouth twitch into a smile as Kurama slowly stops referring to them as 'you' or 'I', rather 'we', as the old fox begrudgingly accepts that this must be the way things are if they want to make it out of this alive.

"Promise me you'll live?" Naruto says, extending a-pinky finger? Kurama snarls, instinctively pressing his body away from his cage.

" What is that?" He hisses, eyeing the motion cautiously. " A blood contract? A trap? What are you doing?" Naruto glanced at his pinky, briefly confused, before a laugh suddenly burst out of him in understanding. 

"No no! This is-ah…" Naruto trails off, rubbing his head sheepishly. "It's a universal sign of a promise, but there's no real-consequences to breaking it 'ttebayo."

"You just gotta swear on it, on your honor." 

Kurama experimentally mimics his hand into that same odd gesture Naruto had, testing the foreign motion out.

"Fishcake."

They shook on it.

-

This time, when he wakes, Naruto feels sluggish. Every minute twitch of his fingers cost as much effort as hauling a boulder up a mountain with limbs weighed like lead. Even the action of breathing, something he does automatically, has never been more difficult. Naruto thinks he wants to go to sleep again. Staying awake felt like a chore, and his brain kept getting this weird-electric shock-tingling sensation, like he was going to pass out anyways regardless of whether or not he wanted to stay awake. So.

He does.

-

"Back again already?" The Kyuubi peaks one eye open, leering over the tiny figure floating on the sewage water. 

"You've been oddly talkative lately." Comes Naruto's faint response.

"I'm bored." The fox answers simply, sliding his eye shut.

They both need to conserve their energy, after all.

-

"Hey." Naruto rasps to the ROOT-san guarding his cell, coughing slightly. He doesn't remember the last time he's had food or water, much less a steaming bowl of ramen wafting in front of him. He wants to cry.

He might not even have enough water for that.

ROOT-san twitches, indicating that they heard him, but did not respond. 

"How long-" his voice cracks. "How long has it been-"-dattebayo? His voice dies before he could even say his verbal tic. It felt like a loss.

The ROOT member tilts their head at him like a bird. "Since when?"

Even if Naruto did give them an answer, the ROOT never gave him anything else. 

-

But Naruto wakes one day, or night(?) And he feels it in his bones that something is going to happen. His first thought, oddly enough, was to visit the memorial and buy some flowers at Ino's shop and then going to check on Sasuke- Normally, the more rational part of him would fight against this, but Naruto is covered in dust, grime and sweat, he's so tired, and his head is pounding. This hasn't happened yet, he realized, with a start. Then, with that, comes dread.

He knows that today, the ANBU are guarding him instead, because they're usually a bit more talkative. Not that Naruto ever sees or remembers seeing any ROOT members talk outside of duty. 

"ANBU-san!" He calls, despite it grating against his vocal chords and prompting him to collapse over his restraints, wheezing to catch his breath. He can't afford to stay in here, not while-not while-

"The Uchiha! They're in danger!" He reaches to claw weakly at the bars holding him behind. 

"..."

"Please!"

"This sounds crazy and-and I don't know why I know it but- something bad is going to happen-" he breaks off from rambling coughing, struggling to get enough air into his lungs. The ANBU look at him in a strange sense of alarm.

"Save them-" He starts choking as tears force their way through his eyelids. " They didn't deserve it, Sasuke didn't deserve it-Itachi didn't deserve it and they-" he doesn't even know what he's saying, words bursting and flowing out of him like it's someone else piloting his body entirely. 

He'd been so busy trying to get it all out, Naruto doesn't even realized the ANBU weren't listening to him until he hears them say:

"Shall we muzzle it?" 

No. No no no no no no- 

"No!" Naruto screams for the first time in ages, adrenaline flooding him out of sudden fear. The fox within him also thrashes around. They're muzzling us like we're some fucking dog, Kurama howls. But they've made up their mind. The door to his cell clicked open. "No, no no no-" he chokes off a whimper. "You can't-" he cuts himself off, gasping. 

" You can't do this to me-please-"

"Hold it down!" He's tired of being called an 'it'. He's tired of this constant worry and anxiety coursing through him screaming that something's wrong and everyone's going to die unless he does something- but he doesn't know what it is that he needs to do. 

"You can't treat me like-" the cold metal dug harshly into his cheeks. He smells the copper of his own blood. 

"- this." -But they could. Anyone could do anything they wanted to him and no one would bat an eye. No one would care because of who he is, or more accurately, who he contains. 

No one would cry for me. The thought breaks him, and Naruto dissolves into tears as they secured the-the god, saying it makes him sick.

The muzzle onto him. "Please listen to me." He grits, breathing harshly through his nose as the ANBU begin to stand up. 

He wishes he could open his mouth to scream. Instead, he just cries harder, digging his face towards the floor as if it could get the muzzle loose.

They don't listen to him. 

-

But one of them brings it up to the Hokage, offhandedly later on in the day. 

The human whim is a strange thing. We always try to justify the things we do with facts and logic, and yet sometimes, there are things we do without rationality or certainty. Impulse. Someone visits the compound on the night of a full moon. It's not Sasuke.

Itachi is found, tears streaming down his face, sword hovering over the resigned faces of his mother and father. 

The last time Sasuke sees his older brother, Itachi simply smiles at him as he is put in cuffs and says, "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I guess there won't be a next time."  

Everyone is dead save for Mom and Dad. 

-

"Why did you do it?"

"I had to protect the Leaf, and our clan was going to overthrow the village."

"Is the Leaf dearer to you than I?"

"..."

"No."

"Not dearer than you."

Only you.

-

"Tch." Kurama clicks his tongue. "Even after what the Uchiha put you through in school and what they did to me you still wished to save their clan?" 

"I think you should save your energy Kur-Kyuubi. Neither of us have energy for this right now." The Uzumaki's voice sounded faintly detached, Kurama noted. Like there was a part of him that had been carved out, what lies there now barren, and hollow.

"Hn. You're glad I'm too exhausted to call you out on that slip up just now." 

-

He hates being so hungry and thirsty. He hates that he can trace the faint outlines of the ribs on his chest. He hates how impossibly dry his mouth and throat feel. He hates that they never removed the muzzle, never asked how it appeared and just accepted it as a part of life.

He hates that they'd pry his mouth open every once in a while to feed him gruel and water, not caring if he chokes while swallowing.

He hates he hates he hates, but he does not want to forget how to love.

-

With each of his passing visit to the dephs of his mindscape, Kurama's voice grows quieter and quieter. 

Naruto feels sick as he slowly counts the ribs on Kurama's torso, but he can't even throw up, because he himself has eaten so little, too. 

"You won't die, right Kyuubi?"

-

"Hey, if I just went ahead and ripped out that seal thing in front of the cage, would that free you?"  Naruto says one day.

"You're hanging around here an awful lot lately." 

Naruto says nothing to that, instead standing and moving closer to examine the seal. 

"If you removed it, you'd instantly manifest at least eight of my tails and I could easily take over your vessel and rampage over the village."

"Would you?"

The old Kurama perhaps would have snapped that he would without a second thought. Kurama now is exhausted and stretches languidly, letting the question sit for a while. 

"I could."

"That doesn't answer my question 'ttebayo." Kurama yips out a laugh. "Has anyone told you how weird your laugh sounds? It's not even scary or anything." 

"I bet you intentionally make your laughs dramatic to scare people." Naruto points a finger accusingly. 

"We're trapped in this cell with our chakra constantly being sapped away and this what you're thinking about, brat?" 

-

It's kind of chilly here, but he doesn't really feel it anymore.

-

"Can I…" Naruto walks inside the cage. The gaps are big enough for him to wiggle through. Kurama says nothing.

"Don't die please." Naruto says, leaning his body against Kurama's bright orange fur, which had begun fading to a rusty brown color recently.

"I'd miss you."

Kurama says nothing, but curls his tails around Naruto.

-

He's still alive, so they must still be feeding and hydrating him. His cheeks aren't hurting anymore.

But the smell of copper won't leave his nose.

-

Kurama was at his most vulnerable when he asks, seemingly out of nowhere, in a rare moment when he genuinely fears he won't come out of this alive, "When you grow older…" he rumbles, voice gruff. Naruto perks up, tilting his head.

"It would be your duty as your Jinchuuriki to come and steal my chakra." And for a moment, Naruto says nothing. "You'd come here and you'd open the seal. I sense a bit of your mother, Kushina in there, and she'd help you pull all my chakra away from me." He muses, flicking a tail idly. 

A few years from now-Naruto would be very much taller-and his face would lose some baby fat-well, not that he's had much of it as of currently. Perhaps if they got lucky, standing before Kurama would have been a roguishly handsome young man, confident in his own strength. 

"And then I'll be locked back up in here, forgotten to all the world until you grow frail and old, and I get transferred to a different jailer." That's right. For all his anger, he's already beginning to forget what the world was like, outside. Kurama is still so angry, but more than anything, he was tired.

"Can't we share 'ttebayo?" Kurama feels his eyes crinkle up in mild amusement.

"Perhaps we could. But you know…it's not proper for Jinchuuriki to do that sort of stuff. You aren't supposed to befriend tailed beasts." And that was what it came down to. The idea of humans and tailed beasts becoming friends with one another was utterly ridiculous. 

Humans saw the bijuu as powerful chakra weapons, capable of mass destruction to be used against one another in their petty squabbles called 'war', and the bijuu saw humans as nothing but a pass time snack which had the audacity to try and tame and control them. 

And yet, one Uzumaki Naruto stood before him, and said, "Watch me." 

Kurama thinks he might be beginning to believe it, and much to his dismay, he can't bring it in himself to feel unhappy about that fact, either. 

"Yes." Kurama sighs, deciding after a while, "I suppose we can share." 

He's not. He's not supposed to get attached so quickly to this puny human. Especially not after spending almost a hundred years rejecting his previous jailors. He's not supposed to feel hurt and a pit in his stomach whenever he lashes out and strikes Naruto. He's not supposed to want to say 'sorry' afterwards, and his heart isn't supposed to clench whenever he thinks about the sad predicament they both are currently finding themselves in.

But Naruto is not supposed to be kind to him. Naruto is not supposed to treat him like a person more than a monster, not supposed to cry for him, and not supposed to miss him if he dies.

Kurama still hates and rages, that much has still not changed. But if there was still any shred of love left in his heart, he thinks, then no one would deserve it more than Uzumaki Naruto. 

Chapter Text

Something is wrong.

Kakashi knows this the moment he wakes up on his bed, gasping for breath. 

He'd always prided himself with how well he can recall something. He remembers the names of all his ninkens, all one thousand of the jutsus he's copied, what each and one of the twenty-five challenges Gai and set for him ever since he'd begun accepting them, which ones he'd won, which ones he'd lost, what he had for breakfast on this day, eight years ago-which was a slice of toast, before Minato pesters him into grabbing an additional apple, which he had eaten half of. 

And getting the Sharingan had just meant the list of things he could remember grew even larger. He could remember each contour of Rin's face as it bended into a grimace as she said his name for the last time, sometimes warped into sneer in all his nightmares, Obito's mangled, deformed body plunging towards him, gasping and spluttering for air- 

Even for things Kakashi wished to forget, he remembers. Which was what made it weird that for some inexplicable reason, all the events on the 28th of May had been completely and utterly wiped from his mind. Try as he might, Kakashi thought back on that date and tried to recall something-anything-then, nothing.

"Hokage-sama." He drawls, dropping down to one knee in front of the Third's desk, head bowed in his Hound mask. 

The Hokage merely grunts in acknowledgement and shifts, tilting his head in silent confirmation for his permission to speak. 

"May 28th, Hokage-sama." Kakashi's face twitches slightly behind his mask as he sees Hiruzen briefly freeze on the date. Bingo. 

"It appears that all my memories and recollection of events that happened on that day have been tampered or all wiped out." He says, before hastily adding, "-Hokage-sama." As an afterthought.  

"Is that so?" Hiruzen murmurs, knowing that Kakashi's ears could pick it up anyways. The Hokage still won't look at Kakashi, still standing poised by the window. 

"You don't remember? Nothing at all?" Kakashi makes a low frustrated noise from the back of his throat, too quiet for the Hokage to pick up on. "Nothing, Hokage-sama. I'm just concerned this may be the work of an enemy if I found some valuable intel on them-" 

"-I haven't assigned you to go on any missions at that time though, haven't I?"The Hokage interrupts him. This meeting had become more and more suspicious the longer it's been going on for. Kakashi shakes his head, still keeping his head low. 

"Then rest assured, Kakashi." The silver-haired ANBU jolted at the use of his name, which was only used when Hiruzen wanted to refer to him personally as opposed to the professional relationship of Hokage to their ANBU. For the first time, Hiruzen turned to look at him, eyes softening and crinkling. 

"You must've just been overworking yourself again. Everyone forgets sometimes. I don't even remember what I had for breakfast!" He chuckles disarmingly. 

And then Kakashi is dismissed. Kakashi turned that encounter inside out in his head, revolves it 360 degrees, and looks at it from every angle. Then turns it outside in and rinse and repeat. By all means, there was nothing wrong with it. But if for nothing else, like flashy Kekkei Genkais and clan techniques, the Hatake clan were known for two things.

One, their undying loyalty, and two, their enhanced senses, plus an additional sixth one. And all throughout that encounter, despite not ever really saying or doing anything that one would go so far as to say suspicious, Kakashi's sixth sense had screamed danger and blared red flags at the Hokage, every instinct in him begging for him to look into it. It was like he was at the cusp of knowing what it was he was missing already, only a major key of sorts to solving everything is currently being withheld from him. 

And Kakashi was willing to bet his mask that the Hokage had something to do with it. For the next few weeks, he kept quiet and hung out with Gai. He tried to forget about all of it, and follow Hiruzen's advice, attempting to unwind despite every part of him screaming not to. But it's fine. Kakashi is sure he can out-stubborn this. 

-

It happens about a month into this, just as he was letting himself relax-just a little, and had even begun to joke around a bit with Gai, much to the other's happiness and excitement. He was finally letting himself move on, the Hokage would proudly say, and Kakashi would just nod back mutely, trying to ignore the way his body violently shivered at the thought.

He'd even begun eyeing the Icha Icha series, displayed in the bookstore-

A flash of yellow catches his eye, but his first thought does not go to Minato-sensei. 

Instead, he hears the sound of a young child giggling, and his nose picks up on the smell of wet paint.

Would it be red, yellow or green?

Kakashi looks around wildly, interest gone. For some unexplainable reason-his heart had begun picking up pace, pulse thundering in his ear. 

There was someone important-someone that he had forgotten. He hears a small laugh this time, and he whips his head around, following. 

It's almost as though he's being taunted and played with. Just when he thinks he's drawing near to the source of the sound it- changes, and Kakashi finds himself awkwardly mumbling out an apology when he grabs the wrong child in his desperation to get that damn laugh out of his head.   He might just be losing it.

-

The Hokage invites him in for some tea. He politely refuses, but finds himself sitting inside the office, a steaming cup of tea in his hand in the span of a blink.

The water is too hot and the leaves are burnt and bitter, scalding his throat all the way down. 

He drinks it all in one sip.

-

God, his own haggard reflection stares back at him as he grips the sink so tight his knuckles turn white. It's not been this bad since Rin . Get a grip, he tells himself.

-

"Hey, Kakashi." Gai peers over at him, trying and struggling to see what his rival is looking at in a rare moment of seriousness between them. 

"Are you alright?" Kakashi blinks. Then, he eye-smiles at Gai and hums an affirmative, before burying his head in his arms. "Well, I'm perfectly fine, dear rival ." Kakashi could at least still find it in him to smirk when Gai howls in delight, even if the former can't see it.

-

"Eh?" Anko says, blinking at him. "Well err...." she hums, scratching her chin in thought. Kakashi tries not to let his eye twitch. "May 28th." He repeats, trying to not make voice sound so hard. He'd been in a foul mood lately. 

"Relax, relax man! Well, I don't really remember any mission reoorts from you that day-or any new enemy-nin appearing, or-anything of note, really-"

"Nothing?"

"Yes! Nothing!" She snapped, annoyance begining to color her tone. "Now stop harrassing me, Hatake. Go and and find somewhere else to brood. Not everyone appreciates your angst-aura." 

My what? Kakashi briefly wonders, walking away. 

-

He hasn't done this ever. There's a strange thrill to breaking the law if he thought about it. Kakashi snuck into the Hokage's office-and found that it was laughably easy. Which. Should be a point for concern. 

He's not sure what it is specifically he's looking for really, but he figures just the date is a good start. The 28th of May. It's not April. Almost a year, actually-why had he just waltz around the village unaware of this missing date-only realizing about a year after its occurence?

It's a daunting realization. 

nothing, nothing nothing. 

The only thing that greets Hatake Kakashi, are layers and layers of blank, white sheets of paper.

-

At night, his dreams are no longer of Rin and Minato-not even Obito, his crushed body taunting Kakashi with all his mistakes and failures. He dreams of a laughing child with a shock of blond hair, carrying a bucket of paint around with him, with goggles that fit loosely on his head in an oversized white shirt with a red swirl on it. Kakashi follows the kid wherever he goes. 

Then the screaming starts. He hates this part right here. Everything crumbles away to nothing, but the last thing he sees is a tiny body held down, even when it sobbed and screamed and wailed -

-Kakashi wakes up, pulls his mask down and retches into the toilet. 

-

"-It's all fine." The Hokage tells him, offering him some more tea. I don't want to. He thinks, swallowing thickly. His mouth is stuffed full of cotton. No more tea. "This'll make you feel better, Hound." 

Kakashi dry-heaves.

-

His eyebags have eyebags. Kakashi still can't figure out what's wrong, but he can't make the constant feeling of wrongness disappear either. The Hokage has been appointing them personal one-on-one meetings lately. An impromptu-counseling session, in his words. He wonders which blend of tea the Hokage will feed him this time. 

-

"You're losing it, Hatake." He tells himself in the mirror, pointing. His reflection stares back unflinchingly.

His mirror cracks under his fist. There's nothing wrong with a broken mirror he thinks, tracing the lines formed it could still be fixed. A piece falls off. 

Kakashi frowns, watching his lips tug downwards and his reflection follows, distorted by the cracks running along the mirror. Some parts overlap each other, others dupplicate. He looks like a monster, but there's nothing new with that. But if there's a piece of him missing, then he'll forever be really unfixable, then. 

-

They have a meeting in thirty minutes. Kakashi would be on time if he goes now. His foot stayed firmly planted on the ground. 

He doesn't get to move even half a step before he bumps into someone-well more accurately, someone bumping into him, stumbling. 

"Ah-I'm sorry!" The Chunin with a scar running through his nose bridge says, helping him up. "I was just heading for some ramen and I wasn't looking-" the man rambles on, but Kakashi freezes. 

"Ichiraku ramen is the best, 'ttebayo!" 

"-Senpai? Senpai?" -"Oh my god did I break him?" Kakashi blinks, and the Chunin's face hovers worriedly right in front of him. 

"-Ramen? You say?" Kakashi cuts him off, batting his hands away. Then the Chunin stops his ramblings and goes a bit red in the face, before smiling sheepishly, scratching his neck. 

"Yeah. It's pretty strange to be honest-that I keep finding myself there. I think-" he says slowly, like he's trying to piece the words together, "I think-a student of mine must've introduced the place to me."

They sit in silence for a bit. 

"Let's go to Ichiraku's then." Kakashi blurts, without thinking. "Um-" he winces at his lack of tact, already finding a way to backpedal, not even having time to think back about how arbitrary the offer was-

But the Chunin nods, a weirdly determined look crossing his face. "Let's go." They went.

Kakashi never arrived to that meeting, in the end.

-

It's pretty awkward, sitting with a stranger inside a ramen stall he's never been to before. The stranger seems to be a regular, though. 

"Umino-san!" The ramen stall owner greeted the stranger warmly, "I didn't think you'd come here today with a friend! I take it, you'll have the usual?" The stranger nods. "Just Iruka is fine Teuchi-and yes-I'd like the usual, please." He beams, smiling politely. 

"And you? Jonin-san?" Kakashi blinks, staring down at the menu. "Well…" He closes his eyes, feigning nonchalance even as his hands curl in and out of a fist from underneath the table, "I guess I'll take whatever Umino-san has." 

"Alright." Teuchi smiles at him kindly. "Ayame!" He calls. "That'd be two miso-pork ramen please!"

"I never took you for a miso-pork fan Umino-san." Kakashi drawls, feeling amusement as the Chunin squirmed in his seat, nervous at his presence. 

"I'm not." Umino shakes his head, laughing. "It's just…" he trails off, his scar crinkling up as he thinks. "It just reminds me of someone-that's all." 

Kakashi perks up at this. "Hey-" he starts, ignoring the way his heart beats so loud it's thundering in his ears, "Did you ever feel like-"

"-Something is missing?" Umino looks at him, finishing the sentence. 

Oh god.

-

They went to Umino's apartment-a warm, cozy and homey place. "Did you also have these-" Umino grimaced, " Sessions with the Hokage?"

"-Where he'd give you tea?" Umino-san nodded vigorously. Kakashi nods once, trying, and perhaps failing, to quell his anticipation. 

"God-" Umino-san runs a hand through his hair, exhaling shakily. "What happened on May 28th?" 

Kakashi looks back at him, equally horrified on his usually stoic face, as they reach mutual understanding on each other's current predicament. 

"That's the thing. I don't know. "

-

"I work at the Academy." Umino-san tells him, as he begins to look through his paperwork. "I'm sure there should be something that I-" a small candy wrapper slips from the stack of paper he was sorting through, fluttering onto the ground. 

It's sky-blue, of some dirt-cheap knock off brand that went out of business around a year ago. Kakashi strolls over and picks it up, examining the poorly drawn image of the mascot smiling. 

"Wait!" Umino-san says, before he could throw it in the trash can. He's sweating like he's been concentrating and looks like he'd just eaten something bad. Kakashi still has his hand outstretched, glancing between the candy wrapper and Umino-san, who is slightly shaking. "I think-" he stutters, closing his eyes as he recalled, "I think it has something written on it."

"You mean something besides-'Yuki's Fresh Mints'?" Kakashi drawls, holding the wrapper up. 

"Yes!" Umino-san snaps irritably, before calming himself. "It has-something written behind it. Turn it over." Kakashi turns it over.

Hey Iruka-sensei, the tell-tale inky scrawl of a child's handwritting wrote. Thanks for walking me home yesterday. 'Yesterday' was spelt with a bit of difficulty. " Sorry I always cause so much trouble-" Kakashi read, not quite paying attention to Umino-san's reaction. " But maybe you won't have to deal with me tommorow. " Kakashi glances up. "Do you know who wrote this?" 

To his utter confusion and growing horror, Umino-san is crying, even if the brunnette seemed as confused about this revelation as he is. 

"I'm… crying ?" He wondered outloud, gingerly reaching a hand to touch his cheeks only for it to come away wet. "Why would I be-" his voice breaks away, before Umino-san hastily excuses himself to leave the classroom, presumbaly to go grab tissues. 

Or comfort himself, but Kakashi doesn't know that much about how people healthily dealt with their issues. 

"Is it signed anywhere?" Umino-san says when he comes back, eyes still red and swollen, a tissue box in hand, still absentmindedly wiping one of his eyes. 

Kakashi hums, showing Umino-san the note. "Well-not really." He says, while Umino-san furrows his brows. 

"The only thing of note here is-" 

"Naruto."

Chapter Text

"Hey! Hey!"

Someone-a kid, if that high pitched voice is anything to go by-yells, banging on the door loudly, thus snapping Kakashi out of whatever trance he seemed to be in.

Umino-san looks borderline catatonic, and Kakashi's only hint that he is not that, is the way his hands are still locked tightly around the candy wrapper, trembling faintly.

But that means it rests on Kakashi to go get the door, even though he is awful with social interaction and worse with kids. Alas, he must move, before this stranger knocks down the door with their persistent knocking.

"Oi! Iruka-sensei! Have you gone to bed already? Is it too late now? I want to talk!" They screamed shrilly.

Kakashi opens the door and is suddenly hit with the scent of wet dog.

"You don't smell like Iruka-sensei." But there's no one there, only the inky dark sky and the railing meeting his eyes.

Oh, he found himself looking forwards, when he should be looking down. A little child with an even littler dog greets him, with the tell-tale markings of the Inuzuka-clan.

"Where is he?" The kid scowls, baring his canines as the tiny puppy mirrors his expression, growling slightly. It's sort of cute.

"Um-you see-"

"What did you do to him?" Oh fuck, Kakshi thinks, as the kid gets into -frankly, a rather sad looking- fighting stance. He tries moving his hands to placate the child, but he thinks he might have just further agitated him.

"Ah-Inuzuka-kun I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding-"

"Kiba-kun?"

-Comes Umino-san's faint voice, before things further derailed. Thank whatever higher being that exists up there. Instantly the kid perks up, relief flooding his face. Kakashi finds himself deflating like a balloon as the kid hurries to push past him, even if he wouldn't want to admit that.

"Iruka-sensei!" He practically screeches, nevermind the late hour, and practically flung himself towards the Chuunin. If Kakashi didn't think any better, he would have been convinced that the Inuzuka kid would have begun slobbering his teacher up with spit. Umino-san just laughs, tension almost instantly gone from his body, like it's a normal occurrence for students to be finding him this late at night and tells the kid to sit. Which he does-in a sort of scary obedience he imagined some people could only dream for hyper-active kids to have.

"This is nice and all Kiba-kun," Umino-san says, patting the kid down, "But why are you here? At this hour?"

"-Not that I don't want to see you, or anything." He says, as an afterthought.

Kakashi thinks he feels kind of jealous, as he watches the two of them interact, mentor and mentee. If only he was that casual and graceful when bringing up something in a conversation. Not for the first time, he silently curses how emotionally constipated he is.

"So my mom made me some onigiri today-" he starts, absentmindedly playing with his dog's paws, "-an' then suddenly I thought, hey, I haven't seen that loser Naruto in a while." The kid continues, oblivious to the way both Umino-san and he briefly frozed at the name.

"A really, long while." He adds after a while, a small frown tugging at his lips, as if he was surprised he could even miss such a person. It was strange how differently time works for humans as they grew older.

A year has passed already-and isn't that sad? That it took that long until someone thought to think, "Hey-I think someone's missing."

Kakashi's guilt for Naruto grows, then grows even more when thinks of how little he could remember of the kid at all. He remembers best with his nose, which couldn't even smell anything else in Naruto but the scent of wet paint and bright, squealing laughter-and wails, and cries, and shouts of 'why won't you see me why won't you listen?

He wishes he could feel bitter for the young boy sitting in front of him, casually calling his potential-future-comrade a failure, a loser, a good for nothing brat who'd be better off gone because he is gone, and no one cares because it's Naruto, he whom Kakashi couldn't even begin to remember what he looked like, the taste of scalded tea leaves only just now beginning to clear from his throat. No one knows, no one cares and that's just it.

"We used to share onigiri together after class cause' he always complained about being hungry an' I want him to have enough strength so it's more satisfying when I beat him, ya know?" The kid rambles on, "An' then I remember it was like-forever ago when you were sleeping an' he like scribbled something and placed it on your desk-"

"Naruto?" Umino-san asks, suddenly surging forwards, startling the kid. "Yeah-urm, Naruto." He repeats, sweating under the scrutiny.

"And then what?" Kakashi finds himself asking, which he hoped didn't come out as too interrogative.

"Uh-huh? An' what's in it for you?" But then Umino-san repeats the same thing and the kid answers. Kakashi scratches his head at their interaction.

"Well-" The kid says, "Well then he sort of-left I guess. I didn't see him tomorrow, or the day after that."

And after a moment, "Or the day after that." He says flatly, as if he had only just realized how long it's been.

Then he brightens up, as if all his concerns were instantly wiped from his mind, as the way it is for most kids."But Mom says I shouldn't be thinking too much about him, so I didn't."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Umino-san asked gently, despite looking a bit green in the face.

"Well we jus-all sort of assumed that since Naruto's always causing trouble an' all, someone probably had enough of it an' got rid of him!" The kid bursts out, a strange mix between defensive and hysteria coating his voice. Kakashi goes cold, but Umino-san literally looks like he's about to keel over from hypothermia.

Someone's probably had enough of it and got rid of him. It replays itself in his head, almost like a taunt.

"And I'm getting worried ya know'? Everyone says to leave it be but-" the kid growls in frustration, bringing a clawed finger up to pull at his hair, "It's been so long! There's no way that loser could have gotten himself-" he cuts himself off, paling at the thought. Kakashi had almost forgotten that children weren't supposed to think of such a thing so casually.

"Kiba-kun," Umino-san says, fighting to keep him voice steady, "Did you remember the date? Since you last saw Naruto?"

Kiba thought for a while, placing the dog on his head while he did so. It seemed to whimper as if smelling the foul air in the room.

"I think it was May." His back is ram-rob straight as he struggles to keep his composure.

He prays its a coincidence. He didn't want this to make sense anymore.

"May 28th." -The gods have never once answered him.

Lord Third sits in his office, as he does nowadays, sipping on some tea and flicking his eyes through reports. His eyes stop on one, temporarily halting his fingers, he picks a file up, and begins to read through it.

What shall we do about the Uchiha incident? The public still holds enmity in their hearts even after such a tragedy; Uchihas-the once trusted police force-now murdering each other, and they believe they'd be next, as ots said all over the news paper. Fugaku still resents you, Lord Third, he just lacks the man-power he's had before to stage a coup.

The public are losing their trust in you, Lord Third, forgive me for being so blunt-

-He stops and takes a drag out of his cigar. A year since the Kyuubi was successfully captured, but all that had seemed to bring on to his village were more troubles. He huffs out a breath of smoke. He mulls over the current problem: the fall-out of the almost complete annihilation of the Uchiha-clan, that he had hoped to have faded into the background by now-but the public rarely forgives, if not forget.

And they won't be anytime soon, given that Uchiha Itachi-the once beloved prodigy of the village, of the clan, after he had seemingly snapped and slaughtered nearly all of his clan overnight before willingly letting himself be captured-had just died less than a week ago, of some unknown lung disease, that had gotten brought on due to the damp and moldy conditions of his holding cell. That was what was said officially, anyway.

Hiruzen had not even told his most favored ANBU this-not even Hound; but Uchiha Itachi had merely been moved deeper into the prison, even if the bit about his lungs were, perhaps, true.

He remembers the boy sitting in front of him, just under a year ago, in a rare moment-perhaps it was the adrenaline-perhaps he had truly broken after all,smiling as if he thought he had triumphed and told Hiruzen all about Danzo's plan.

His smile fell when he saw Danzo step out from behind his chair like a shadow.

He picks up a letter after that, written in very impressive penmanship-for a seven year old.

Dear Hokage-sama, the letter reads, tone petulant and a tad spoiled, like a whining toddler.

I know my brother is a bad person. And he hurt a lot of people. Is it bad that I miss him? -Hastily crossed out and scribbled, like a child caught with their hand deep inside a cookie jar.

But he is-crossed out; was once a very well respected member of the village, and of the clan. Can I go see his body, at least? The crossed out question catches him off guard, causing his cigar to tumble out of his lips briefly.

But if you had cremated him, can we have the ashes? My father is off on a business trip, and he has yet to return, I wanted him to go and ask you instead, but he's not here, so I'm writing to you now instead-

Hiruzen looks away from the letter guilty, folding it away instantly. He pulls out a lighter to light himself a new cigarette with shaking hands, but switches direction at the last second.

He burns the letter.

There is a prisoner in the basement of ROOT. There wasn't much that went even deeper than the ROOTs, but everyone knows about it. They provided them with more chakra they needed for the trickier missions. Some say there wasn't even a prisoner, just a massive reservoir of chakra for them to tap in when simply-they felt like it. Strangely, it was one of the few things Danzo hadn't enforced strict rules on, and they were told "it was free to use whenever".

Very rarely, and only if you're close to Danzo's most trusted ROOT agents, they would omit details on when they have to feed the prisoners.

Just enough to keep them alive.

Anyone who had the vaguest twitch on their face that gave away anything remotely less than positive about the prisoner's treatment were disgraced. They weren't seen the next day.

But then there were three prisoners in the basement.

There's a clock in Umino-san's tiny apartment.

A rather tiny, silent one, the type to only be loud after an hour has passed. But if it's quiet enough, you would be able to hear the little tick tick tick sound it makes, like a jack-in-the box being winded tight until it springs, or a bomb, slowly counting down.

He could hear it right now, going tick tick tick tick, but he tries to not think about it, because it might drive him insane. He tries to not think about anything at all.

"Say," Kakashi drawls, dragging his vowels until Kiba snapped at him.

-

After Kiba-kun confirmed his worst fears and suspicions, Umino-san eventually got up at some point and decided to make them all tea. Kiba-kun insisted he stayed up, but he fell asleep the moment Kakashi excused himself to go wash his face. Umino-san dropped Kiba-kun off, which then led him facing a tirade from Kiba-kun's mom, which woke up several neighbors in the process and a noise complaint being filed in.

They are here again, this time on the weekend with explicit permission from Kiba-kun's mother, and the muttered excuse of Umino-san wishing to catch him up with school work.

Kakashi almost felt bad for disrupting such an, almost, peaceful atmosphere, but he had laid on bed all night glaring his ceiling into submission as the cogs had turned in his head.

"I think...Lord Third took Naruto." Kakashi says, then prepares for the shouts that are going to follow.

"Hokage-jiji?" Yells Kiba, incredulous. And then, "Wait, so you mean Naruto's like gone gone-?"

"Hatake-san-!" Umino-san hisses, "Not here-!"

"Aren't you an ANBU? Aren't you supposed to be-I dunno, loyal? Where is this coming from oji-san?"

Kakashi feels a flash of indignation, causing his eyebrow to twitch. He's like-twenty one this year. His lack of response seemed to only irritate the boy further, though.

"Sue me!" The kid yells, "You just accused the Hokage of something-something urm-" he hesitates, uncertain on how to describe it with his limited seven-year-old vocabulary, "-Bad! Fucking bad!" He adds, for emphasis, even after Umino-san whacks him over the head for it. "Isn't that illegal?" His dog barks as if in agreement.

Kakashi opens his mouth to retort-

"Everyone." Breathes a very stressed-sounding Umino-san, voice just tethering on the edge of being unhinged enough to cause Kiba's jaw to snap shut with a click. But Kakashi would give credit where credit was due; one glance at the veins bulging on Umino-san's face was enough to deter any shinobi, no matter how experienced.

"Hatake-san," he says, teeth clenching in effort to keep his voice from straining, "Please elaborate."

"What is there to elaborate?" Kakashi yells, before flinching back, surprised at the frustration in his voice. He was normally better at keeping his cool than this. "He drugged us with tea all year-"

"He WHAT?" -screamed Kiba-kun, who is slightly behind everything-

"-and tried to keep us in the dark about that date. You said it yourself. If there was something he was hiding this would be it."

"There has to be a different explanation for this-" Umino-san denies, shaking his head as if to get rid of water, "No." He mutters.

"No!" He says, louder, more insistent.

"What?" Kakashi whispers, confused if not a little hurt.

Umino-san's breathing is beginning to pick up- which was not a good sign. -To be kind to Naruto, Lord Third had told Umino-san, Kakashi knows, back when his heart was brimming with hate towards the one who had killed his parents and left him alone too soon. And Umino-san had followed that advice, he followed it so well until he could only see Naruto and not the fox-

"He can't have! I can't-" he chokes on, each word leaving him becoming more and more ineligible.

"What?" Yelled Kiba-kun, unhappy with being ignored and left in the dark. "What? What is it?"

"Think Umino-san. Think." Says Kakashi, gripping his shoulders.

"We don't have any-" Umino-san coughs, as if making one last desperate attempt to rationalize any of the Hokage's behavior, "-evidence for this-"

"WE ARE THE EVIDENCE!" Kakashi wails, making everyone in the room jump slightly.

"He drugged us, he took Naruto and it's like-he's not even important enough for you-us-anyone-" he stumbles over his words, lost in his whirlwind of thoughts, "-to care enough to condemn the Hokage!" What he says next shocks him for how easily it came to him to say, "Why are you still trying to defend him? He clearly doesn't know what he's doing and he's hurting everyone because of it!"

"I thought you'd understand." He almost pleads.

Kiba-kun still shrieks, unhappy with everything, but his cries get drowned out by Umino-san's heavy breathing as he tries-and struggles-to collect himself.

"What else is there on that date? He was last seen then, and no one's heard nor cared about him since!" Kakashi hisses, surprising himself with the harshness of his own voice.

"Umino-san!"

"What's wrong with him?"

Came Kiba-kun's panicked voice, and that was when Kakshi had snapped out of his tunnel vision; seeing Umino-san's eyes brimming with tears, the shorter man breathing harshly as the tell-tale sign of some sort of panic attack.

For a moment, the only sound there was in Umino-san's little apartment was the broken sound of his breathing, like a dying animal being choked to death.

"Hey-" he winces at the way his voice trembles. "Hey!" He tries again, a little louder in his panic, wincing when all that does is make Umino-san flinch back instead.

"What's wrong?" He asks, hating how high his voice sounds, and how utterly out of control he feels. "How do I-" he makes a noise of frustration, looking around the room as if he could find something. "How do I help?"

"Umino-san!" This…isn't isn't working. He realizes, letting his gesticulating hand drop back to his side. Nothing is working. He doesn't want to deal with the kid who's still yelling in his ear. Seeing someone he barely knows yet is the only person he's aware of in this mess with him like this…

It doesn't-feel good.

Most shinobi are taught to just wait it out or pretend it's not there, or try to delay the fit when they have one. They would be highly compromising during a mission, and especially fatal if you're an ANBU. Kakashi is used to people just shrugging it off, or telling him to 'man up', or just waiting for it to be over and utterly hating himself afterwards for that moment of weakness. He doesn't know how to deal with this, and that scares him deeply.

"Hey, Kiba-kun," he says, not fully aware of how small his voice is suddenly, or how Kiba-kun immediately shuts up when he says, "Please be quiet for a bit."

He slowly backs away, thinking about how much he had needed the space whenever he had a fit of his own. But then he thinks about how he wished to have something to keep himself tethered to reality, so:

Painstakingly slowly, he offered his trembling hand out to Umino-san, who was still shaking, pupil dilated, with tears streaming down his face.

A beat, then two, then Umino-san reaches forwards blindly with his own hand, clasping it in his, as he tries to breathe through his nose and exhale through his mouth. And then slowly, as Kiba-kun watches from the sidelines, stunned into silence, Umino-san's breathing slows back into something resembling normal. Kakashi doesn't dare move until Umino-san lowers his hands.

"...I'm sorry." He grunts, looking away shamefully.

"Hatake-san." Umino-san's voice comes, wheezing through the cracks of fingers covering his face, "What are we going to do?"

"Hey!" And that's when Kakashi remembered this gremlin was still here. How annoying, he rolls his eyes. The little brat is now hitting his head, which barely hurts, so Kakashi considers just ignoring him. He supposes he'll let it slide, because anyone would be unsettled after witnessing a panic attack for the first time.

"You guys still haven't told me anything!" Kiba-kun jabs an accusing finger at him, voice wobbling slightly.

"What's happening? Why's the Hokage drugging people? Why'd he take Naruto?" The Inuzuka kid's face was turning frighteningly red as question after question came spewing out of his little mouth.

"Um-" Umino-san croaks intelligently, and that was when Kakashi realized it was now up to him to do the talking.

"Listen kid," he says, interrupting Kiba-kun from his rant, "Will you snitch?"

"I don't snitch!" He yells, almost offended Kakashi had asked such a thing. "So I won't! On Akamaru and I's honor!"

After seeing the unimpressed look on Kakashi's face, the kid turns beet red and says, "I'll-" he stutters, "I'll shave myself bald."

"And!" He yells, before Kakashi could voice his doubts, "And I'll eat my vegetables!" He continues, even as Akamaru barks and nips his fingers in protest.

And when Kakashi says nothing to that, Kiba-kun tries to seal his deal. "Vegan!" He says. "I'll become a vegan and-" Kakashi guesses he'll have to let go of that stutter for now, "I'll become vegan for life and give up meat if I snitch ever!" The boy declares even as tears well up his eyes at the thought.

For his bravery and devotion, Kakashi finally relents, sighing. "Honestly, for the majority of your questions, I wouldn't be a hundred percent sure of the answer."

Kiba-kun squawks, "A hundred percent? That's like-all of the percent!" Ignoring Umino-san's watery, "Aw you do pay attention!" in the background.

"The Hokage took Naruto because…" Kakashi trails off, now uncertain on how to tread. "Because he has a-a"

"A-a?" Mocks Kiba, urging him to spill the beans.

"The Nine-tails. Sealed in him." Kakashi closes his eyes, in preparation for whatever vitriol Kiba-kun might spew next.

"Haaah? That loser has the fucking Kyuubi in him?" 

"Kiba Inuzuka!" Comes Umino-san's indignant cry, "What did I say about-"

"I'm sorry Iruka-sensei! But I think this situation is a swear-able one!" Kakashi opens his eyes, pleasantly surprised at how quickly Kiba-kun seemed to move on from that. Its easy to forget that children would care less about it, as they were less personally affected by it.

And 'swearable?' That statement either perfectly encompasses their current situation or is not even close to covering the clusterfuck of a mess they've gotten themselves into.

"We'll talk to you more about this Kiba-kun." Umino-san says, ushering him off. "Just tell your mother you're due for weekly help sessions."

And it would be the perfect excuse too, as with no Naruto to compare himself too, Kiba-kun had unfortunately fallen into the position of dead-last in class.

"Oh and Kiba-kun?" Umino-san calls, as the boy heads out towards the door, grumbling, "Pretend you haven't heard any of this. Go live your life as normal. Just normal Kiba-kun, okay?" The boy nods, an odd seriousness passing his face as he mock salutes and closes the door with a click.

And now it's just them.

"Umino-san-" Kakashi starts, sighing, before Umino-san cuts him off.

"Just Iruka, please," he says, wincing. "At this stage, we might as well throw out the honorifics and be on a first name basis."

Kakashi nods, unsure on what to say. "Call me Kakashi then." He says, after swallowing.

"Kakashi then." Iruka echoes, nodding.

"We need to take Naruto back." Iruka says, a grim expression on his face, getting straight to the point.

"But the Hokage has ROOT." Points out Kakashi. "And ANBU, and Danzo." Iruka groans, putting his head on the table. "And the people love him!" Kakashi adds.

"And we're just…" Iruka trails off, annoyed,"Us."

Then he perks up, as he had thought of an idea. "What if we leave the village?" He says, sounding crazed and slightly even excited at the prospect of it. "Gather forces-" he rambles, "Then we can come back and we'll have enough man-power to-"

"We can't." Kakashi cuts him off. "Why?" He fires back, "Why not?"

"To declare ourselves missing-nin?" Kakashi says, voice gaining an odd high pitch to it, "Hunter-nin will be on our trail, all the time, and what if-" he cuts off, choking, "What if the Hokage does something to Naruto because he thinks we found out?"

That caused Iruka to fall silent. "No." He says to Iruka. "We're staying here and we're going to wait."

"What? Kakashi that's-"

"Cruel? Stupid? We wouldn't be able to do anything either way," Kakashi says bitterly, clenching his fists. "But Naruto is the village's Jinchuriki. The Hokage would have to use him, sooner or later. Peace is fragile and something-" His breath hitches, as he thinks about the Third Shinobi War, about the teammate who he had outlived, even though they had just begun to reach an understanding with each other-, "Something always happens."

"And I need to be there to see he's okay, he'll show up to us and when he does, and the opportunity comes, we leave." He sags, having let all of that out. Iruka nods meekly.

"I get that…but it's just the wait." He sighs, dragging a hand down his face. "I can't stand knowing, but not being able to help or do anything."

"You won't have to do 'nothing'." Kakashi says. Iruka's head swivels up, "What do you mean?"

"Train. We can train ourselves to be ready. So when the opportunity does present itself, we'd be ready to just-strike and move." Already, his mind races with the possibilities, rearranging his schedule.

"Hit and run." Breathes Iruka, breaking into a grin.

Chapter Text

It has been two weeks since Fugaku last seen his family. One, since he was locked up. 

Thrown into a deep, dark cellar, the last person he had expected to see was his first-born Itachi, sitting with a small, blond boy in his lap, staring at his father. Itachi looked almost embarassed. 

"Hello, father."

He had the same awful cough that never really went away, and-Fugaku thinks, eyeing the disgusting moss that had begun to creep into the prison cell, it wasn't going to get better either, at this rate. He suspected the conditions of the cell was what caused it to return. He had the same blank look in his dark eyes, a stark contrast to the burning passion many Uchihas often had, and he had the same stupid ponytail he insisted on growing, despite it being more traditional for Uchihas to keep it short nowadays. The blond one was new, though. The Hokage looked regretful, sometimes, whenever he thought about it, but he had locked Fugaku and Itachi up in a cell with the Nine-tails Jinchuuriki, and said, "Fix Naruto, please." 

Even Hatake might have been a better choice, because Fugaku wasn't sure what two emotionally stunted Uchihas could do. Realistically, Fugaku knows why he's here. Konoha must've known for a while now, the silent anger stewing in the Uchihas due to the injustice they faced. Granted, perhaps some of the suspicion was deserved, considering the absurd powers of the Sharingan, but-

"Why did you do it?" Was one of the first things he had asked his son. "Why choose Konoha over your family, your clan?" Itachi just blinks, holding Naruto tighter to him. "I just want peace." He says, in all the simplicity of a fourteen year-old boy. And Naruto was like, eight? Nine? Seven? Fugaku does not want to think about the odd skip in beat his heart did after realizing their age. 

"No more war, no more fighting." Like an old lullaby, his son's voice sounded haunted. "I didn't want to see people die anymore." 

It had been ten years since the end of the Third Great Shinobi War.

And then the Jinchuuriki. Or well-his name was Naruto. Itachi told him when he was first given the boy, he was not responsive at all. Comatose, catatonic, almost. When he does come to, the boy more often than not acts more like a beast than a boy. Snarling, growling, keening, Fugaku would be lying if sometimes he hadn't felt afraid. 

But other days, Naruto comes to, and only cries, his wails echoing across the walls of the cell.

They were given two years, and after two years, Naruto was either to be returned to the Academy, or-Fugaku does not want to think about the 'or'.

It's hard. Fugaku tells himself over and over again that the little kid standing in front of him is just that: a boy. Itachi helps remind him too, but sometimes-sometimes, Naruto's eyes would open and they would be slitted and red, his whisker marks even deeper than before, and it was like it was something else viewing the world through his eyes, and Fugaku would feel fear all over again and seize up. And when he seized up, or perhaps it had been the look on his face-either way, Naruto would seemingly snap out of whatever fit of senseless rage he was in, and cry.

They weren't making much progress, and a week had gone by already, and Fugaku misses the meals his wife cooks dearly.

He's not sure if he should yell, or scream, or bull-doze his way through everything, as little does it help. It just leaves Itachi staring right through him and remind Fugaku of another time when he had been a lesser man and subjected Itachi to be on the receiving end of his ire and frustrations, and Naruto won't stop looking at him as though he was going to hit him.

Naruto responds better to Itachi anyways, so he's not sure why he's even here, on most days, when he briefly forgets about his quest for retribution for the Uchihas that landed him here. As an Uchiha, Fugaku does not possess the eloquence of words or the endurance of patience, only his feelings, hot and burning, which frequently left him stewing on his issues until they boil over and he blows up at the nearest person. 

Fugaku hurts people, as an Uchiha, in his attempt to prove that Uchihas don't hurt people. And now he is here. Ever since he thought Itachi had died, Fugaku had spent enough time wallowing in shame, dozens of what ifs and what could haves go by his head unanswered at night.

"If you hadn't been discovered," Fugaku had asked Itachi, while Naruto sleeps, snoring softly after his latest fit, tears still clumped on his lashes, tiny fingers curled around Itach's wrist, "Would you have killed Sasuke as well?" 

Itachi blinks at him.

"...Perhaps not." He says, voice taking on an odd tilt to its usual indifference. "I love Sasuke." Fugaku almost envies the way Itachi is able to declare such a thing so bluntly and so casually, while he himself feels his throat close up whenever he thought of such a thing. Itachi is the anomaly among Uchihas if not for the fierce way he loves his younger brother, he thinks.

"You know..." He says slowly, trying to not loathe the way his voice wavered so much-"I love you very much, too."

Something in Itachi's face shifts.

"Were you really just going to let me kill you and Mother like that?" Itachi blurts, in a rare moment of vulnerability, suddenly painfully reminding Fugaku of his age. "Are you really not angry? Do you really not hate me?" Itachi doesn't sound accusatory or defensive or suspicious, only-he coughs at the end of his sentence, and his voice is high all the way through and cracks a little towards the end. He is fourteen. Fugaku blinks at him, and his eyes are dark, because his Sharingan is not activated. 

His Sharingan is not activated, because he wants to look at his son without analyzing him down to every minute shift in his expression to find some sort of weakness in his words to exploit. he wants-he needs to be a better parent.

"Boy." He says, trying and failing to keep the tears out of his voice, despairing over how they had waited until things were this bad to finally attempt to salvage what was left of their relationship. "I could never ever, hate you, even if you had killed me."

"I would not pretend that I was a good father, nor blame you for any of the actions you took." Even in the dimness of the cell, Itachi's eyes were shiny with unshed tears, mouth hung open silently, as if he could not believe this was happening. "But if only you had talked to us more, if only I hadn't made you feel as though you were all alone-" he coughs, and tries to get his voice back under control. "We might have figured out something." He said.

"Do you...?" Itachi starts to ask, "Do you love the clan more than you love this family?" he recoils after he said those words, as if afraid of Fugaku's reprimand or ridicule. He does not ask about the village, because both itachi and Fugaku knows he would abandon the village at a drop of a hat for his clan. Fugaku mulls over the question, and he is scared of his answer to it. 

"Once," Fugaku says, and Itachi flinches as though struck. What hurt Fugaku the most though, was despite the flinch, the lack of surprise in his face told Fugaku that this was a response his son had expected of him. "But then I thought you died, and suddenly it was like-nothing mattered anymore."

"If I was actually dead," Itachi asked him cautiously, "What would you have done?" Fugaku blinks.

"I'm...not sure," he sighs, "I kept hoping that I would be a better husband to your mother and a better father to little Sasuke," his lips twitch at the thought of their youngest member. "But I suppose I had to put in the work to be better myself, rather than continuing for wait for something to happen that would let me prove myself." His wife might have been proud of the emotional vulnerability he's shown today. "I will be better. I promise."

That seemed to break something in Itachi, as his normally neutral expression crumpled. 

Itachi lurched forwards, pushing their heads together in an awkward embrace. "Father." He chokes, clutching at his clothes, voice straining in effort to not breakdown and cry.

"I'm sorry." Fugaku tells Itachi solemnly. He's not sure what exactly he's apologizing for. He's sorry that Itachi is fourteen, and yet has had to grown accustomed to a life of imprisonment and hate. He's sorry that Itachi is fourteen, and has to choose between his village or his clan. He's sorry that even after all that Itachi still could not find it in him to hate, and instead endured all the sufferings thrown at him.

"Sorry." Chirps a young voice, as though echoing what he had said. Naruto blinks at him, blue eyes slightly glazed over. "Sorry." He touches Fugaku's hand, then Itachi's. "My fault." He looks down shamefully. "My fault you guys are stuck here."

And if Naruto had suddenly began speaking, perhaps it had meant that the fox had been listening in, and Fugaku had finally passed some kind of test it had, because now it was letting Naruto talk to him.

"It's okay, Naruto." Hesitating slightly, Fugaku slowly moved his hand to rest on top of Naruto's head. Naruto blinks at him.

Itachi rolls his eyes. They're wet. When he chuckles, it also sounds damp. "Ruffle it, pet it or something, Father...you buffoon." Fugaku blinks. 

"Oh." He says, and slowly moves Naruto's locks with his hands. The kid leans into the touch. It's kind of...cute. "We're all trying our best here." He tells Naruto, because it's true. "Let's try our best to help you be a person again, okay?" Naruto nods.

His eyes briefly flash red, almost as if the fox is silently assessing him for any signs of hostility. Fugaku feels his smile falter from nervousness, but his hand stays resting on Naruto's head. But eventually, Naruto's eyes go blue again, and the boy smiles at him. It's as bright as the sun. 

One of the first things Naruto tells him after that, is, "Kurama isn't all that bad, I promise!" Fugaku raised his eyebrows. "Who?" 

It took a bit, but then Naruto opened his mouth to form a small 'oh'. "He's-he's the fox. Nine-tails. Whatever you guys call him." And now Fugaku hears himself letting out a small "Oh." 

"How so, child?" Naruto blinks at him as though he could not believe that someone would believe in him so casually, but soon regains his bearings and said, "Well-" He fidgets with his hands. "He's just grumpy. And lonely, 'cause he's locked up in here." He gestures to his stomach, where the seal was. "Now that I'm the Jinchuuriki for him though..." Naruto trails off, sounding hesitant, "He says it's fine now, but he's upset cause' we're stuck here. It's like double jail for him." Naruto huffs, smiling at the joke. 

Instinctively, Fugaku suppresses a smile as well. By now, Fugaku has lost track of how much time had passed, only that he understood that the fox was not necessarily evil. Distantly, part of him already knew that the fox was not at fault for the attack on the village all those years ago, and everyone else who wasn't a civilian also silently knew that it must be some kind of attack brought on by a Sharingan user, as they were the only one save for the First Hokage who were able to control tailed beasts. It was partly why suspicions around the Uchiha arose once again, subjecting them to a life of discrimination even worse than it had been since the Second Hokage's reign. 

"What would acting normal entail, do you think, Naruto?" Fugaku asks him, because he isn't sure himself. "I probably can't mention Kurama." Naruto says ruefully. "Gotta-gotta pretend he isn't even here at all." 

"What about shinobi skills?" Fugaku asks, just to throw something out. "By the time-" And he has to talk about like it's something that will happen, because in the short time it had took Fugaku to get to know Naruto, Fugaku isn't quite sure what he'd do with himself if something happened to the tiny blond boy that sat in front of him. "By the time you return to the Academy, you'd be missing out on three years of the curriculum." Naruto only shrugs.

"It's alright." He says. "It's not like I pay attention to it in class." 

"Though," He adds, a small frown tugging at his lips, "Even if I did, it's not like I'd ever get a good grade for it anyway, and there's not point in getting good grades if you won't have anyone to show it to, you know?"

Fugaku finds himself scratching his head. "Is it really that awful?" Naruto just shrugs, instead of nodding. "Hn." He grunts. "I'm starting to think that maybe the current system in Konoha isn't as perfect as everyone makes it out to be." Naruto just laughs, so Fugaku finds it in him to quirk his lips up a little. No one has to know, and no one would believe Itachi if he told them he caught Fugaku smiling.

"Say," Naruto says, after a while, "What would happen to you guys after I..." He falters. "After I leave?"

Silence. He sees the kid flinch a bit, realizing he soured the mood, not that it ever got much close to being happy in here.

Itachi blinks from next to him. "I always thought that..."He starts slowly, "That father and I would get to see mom and Sasuke again. After all this," He barks out a laugh, which is a rather uncharacteristic sound to come from him, judging from the way Naruto flinches and Fugaku blanches as though realizing what he was going to say next. "Though," He sighs, "That was probably naiive and idealistic of me."

"They're not gonna let you tattle them." Naruto says.

"Who would believe us?" Itachi says, smiling wryly.

"Your younger brother might." Naruto pipes up, continuing on despite the way Itachi glanced up at him in surprise. "Sasuke loves you very much, even if the bastard won't admit it." It was in moments like this when Naruto suddenly seemed much wiser than a child his age should be. "He would have loved you over the village." He says quietly, as though reminiscing on something. 

"Are you really that close to Sasuke?" Itachi asks, unable to keep the doubt out of his voice. Naruto wrinkled his nose, sticking his tongue out. "Ew, I don't like that guy half the time. He's so arrogant and stand-offish, and yet everyone loves him at the Academy." Itachi chuckles, thinking about all the times Sasuke ran back home from school, red in the face and ranted to him about all the girls chasing him around.

"But," Naruto says, a look of awe washing over his face, "He's amazing," Naruto breathes. "Sometimes he looks so lonely it hurts. And I guess-I can't help but see myself in him, sometimes. He sort of gets it, even though he doesn't really care. I can't help but think," Naruto falters, eyes darting around as though unsure whether or not to say this next bit. "I can't help but wonder if in another life, if things were better, we would have been friends." He looks down, a furious blush dusting his face. 

"We're going to have a deflect." Fugaku says awkwardly, cutting in. "We'll have to become missing nin if we want to live, Itachi." Itachi just looks at him with a look of resignation, as if he had also arrived to that conclusion. "Is there a way-" He starts hesitantly, "Is there a way for me to let Sasuke know? So that-he knows that this isn't because-I'm bad or anything?" A part of Fugaku is glad that Itachi is finally opening himself up more, and yet a different part of him feels his heart ache because of the unfairness of the situation. What if Sasuke grows up hating Itachi? Hating him?

Surprisingly, it was Naruto who agreed with Fugaku. "Yes," he says, "You need to leave, before Danzo comes for your eyes." The boy shudders afterwards, gripping his right arm. Fugaku tries to not think about the reports he read of the corpses, in the following morning of the massacre, with all their eyes gouged out, leaving emptied sockets that unfurled themselves in his head, images of corpses missing their eyes coming up.

"Well, we do have two years, you know." Naruto says, grinning shakily at them in forced optimism, "Maybe we can think of something by then."  

Sometimes, it's absurdly cold in the cell. It's just another thing to add to their growing list of things making Itachi's cough worse. 

At night, (or, he thinks it's night) Fugaku tries to sleep through Itachi's rattling coughs, each one causing his heart to clench painfully in on itself. He's worried for the day when what comes out of Itachi's mouth when he coughs turns red. 

Sometimes, they take Naruto away, and each time he comes back, he always smiles at them and tell them it's alright, and nothing happened, but Fugaku would feel the way the small boy's hands felt colder and shakier and the way his eyes slightly glaze over when he comes back, and grit his teeth knowing what they did to him. Nothing ever happens to Fugaku. His son is suffering from some kind of ailment, and Naruto is constantly getting his chakra drained away, and yet Fugaku, the adult gets to sit around, and help Naruto remember how to be a person instead.

His speech has improved in leaps and bounds, his sentences getting longer, so it's a long way from the short, clipped and awkward monosyllabic words the boy used to say. In the beginning, there were times when Fugaku found himself clinging to old ways, and he would snap at Naruto once his temper got the best of him, and it was always awful trying to coax the boy back to talking past the rising guilt clawing at his insides. 

"I'm sorry, I lost my temper," He would say, and eventually, Naruto would come crawling back to him and rest his fluffy head against Fugaku's chest as though listening to his heartbeat. And then Fugaku would sigh, and start his lesson anew. And that would have to be enough. 

Sometimes, Itachi plays with Naruto, and Fugaku would wonder if his son saw Sasuke in place of Naruto instead. He calls it playing, but it isn't much. A quick game of rock-paper-scissors, or even just clapping their hands together to some strange rhythm, or Itachi going through hand signs with Naruto to see who could do it faster. It was Itachi of course, prodigy and all, but he guesses it was alright for Naruto, because the boy still smiles, even if his small hands try to clumsily follow along. 

Sometimes, the Hokage visits, and Fugaku resists the urge to activate his mangekyo and kill him, knowing he's the Hokage and eyeing the dozens of ANBU and ROOT agents waiting right outside. He makes small talk to Naruto as though nothing was wrong, and Naruto would answer them perfectly, hiding behind Itachi as though he was a shy child. "When will I get to go out again, Jiji?" Naruto would often ask, and every time, the Hokage would freeze, and before taking a long drag out of his dreaded cigarette and blowing it into the room, unaware of the way Itachi visibly grimaced as if he is trying his best to hold back a cough. 

"Not yet." The Hokage would tell the boy, and then that was it, before Itachi would inevitably double over, coughing loudly as the door of the cell clicked shut. 

Naruto would often murmur to him and Itachi reassurances like, "It's alright, it's okay," and "We're doing fine. We'll be fine. It'll be over soon," and Fugaku would feel like screaming all over again, because Naruto doesn't have to be the one doing that. 

"It's not fine," He would often wish to say. "This isn't fair. This is an injustice against us. We have done nothing to deserve this fate, and yet it is happening to us regardless!" He doesn't say anything instead, because Fugaku isn't sure if Naruto can handle anymore negativity in his life. Instead, Fugaku simply nods, or grunts, if he felt like it, and allow Naruto to feel at ease knowing he helped people feel better.

Naruto had told him once as well, on how he remembers things that have not happened, and how he seems to know things that he should not. He lets the boy ramble to him, and allows thoughts of a future, or alternate world where that shinobi never came and Itachi had killed him and his wife before leaving the village to join a mass terrorist group, where Uchiha Madara still existed, despite all the impossibilities, and-they weren't trapped here, but that world wasn't much better off either, because Sasuke ended up all alone and sought out revenge for first his clan, then his brother to wash over him, and thinks about what when Naruto said it was Orochimaru that had returned at the Chuunin exams and killed the Hokage, and Tsunade of all people had returned to take on the hat instead. 

And then eventually, Naruto's voice grows hoarse and raspy, or perhaps there was nothing left to say, so they both fall silent. "What a strange dream." Fugaku had told him, and the boy nods. "Yes." He says, staring at the wall opposing them, "What a strange dream."

He can tell that Naruto absolutely despises having the act the way that was considered normal rather than how he what he thought was normal, but if it meant, that now, after two years have passed, after Naruto now had grown just a smidge taller, and Itachi was now dangerously nearing Fugaku's height, the boy could return to the Academy, Naruto was willing to answer all the questions the Hokage and ANBU had thrown at him in a strange, uncanny sort of obedience. 

They had passed, and Fugaku could almost cry out from relief. Strangely enough, being isolated with only a wild boy and his eldest for company had helped Fugaku open up a bit more, so Fugaku allows himself to exhale a little harder than usual. 

Before Naruto left, though, Danzo spoke up. Fugaku has to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from cursing. 

"Danzo meant bad things.", Naruto had told him, once. 

"I tried to them what Danzo did and what he plans to do, but nobody believed me," Itachi had told him, a different time.

"Wait just a moment. We need to take one final step of precaution." He steps forwards. Fugaku found his eyes narrowing on the older man's bandaged right arm. 

The Hokage piped up, "Is this really necessary?" But even as the Hokage, it was though his voice was drowned out, and it sounded tiny and weak next to the old hawk Danzo. "It would put the people's hearts at ease." He says breezily. Fugaku's eyes widened at the collar. 

"If you say so, Danzo." 

Fugaku cannot do anything but watch, but he is glad that he was the one standing here instead of Itachi, because although out of the both of them, Itachi seemed to be relatively calmer, Fugaku had always been the one who was better at turning a blind eye. 

In all his dreams and nightmares, Fugaku would be able to picture the terrified expression that Naruto wore that day in vivid clarity as they held him down, once more, and the agonized keen he let out, like a wild animal, as they placed the collar on him with a click. 

"If he gets too emotional or-his hear rate picks up too quickly," And Fugaku would have to listen to it in a careful sense of indifference as the ROOT agent droned on and on, "The collar would shock him, as a reminder that he must not let the fox loose."

Naruto stared at the ground so no one would see the way his eyes rapidly flicked between red and blue.

When they let him go, Fugaku embraced his shaking form, inhaling, even as all his nose could smell were sweat and grime. "We'll find a way to get that off you somehow." He had whispered to Naruto, and the boy jerkily nodded, before pulling away, faint traces of tears pricking at his eyes. "You aren't alone in this, Naruto. Be brave, please, my boy." Naruto jerkily nodded again. 

They would have to leave tonight. Maybe they'll find some medicine to cure Itachi's cough, or help him, somehow. 

"We'll get you out of here." Fugaku mouths, and then that was the last time he saw Naruto Uzumaki. 

Chapter Text

The ANBU's grip on his arm was hard; hard enough to bruise. 

His collar itches, his finger twitches to scratch at it, but conditioned fear causes him to retract his hand last second.

In the weight of everything that's happened, in his seventeen, twenty, eight-nine or ten he wasn't sure--life span, Naruto finds himself incomparably exhausted, and the idea of pretending becomes dreadful and weighted. 

His mind was a mess, fragments of things here and there, and he desperately wishes he could go back to pretending. He misses when he thought the ANBU were his own personal body guards, silent, but there, looking out for him. 

Inside him, thrums a second heartbeat, weak, but steady. Kurama offers him comfort in a way seeing a weak baby still breathe offers a mother. 

Outside is filled with the sound of children's chatter. He is both their age and not. 

And, clutching his headband and turning it around, observing the intricate swirl of the leaf symbol and waiting for the excitement that never comes; today is the day Naruto becomes a Genin, and meets Team 7. 

Sakura could hardly believe it. She was paired with Sasuke, and she could squeal or die from excitement. Now, the prospect of intrigue for their third teammate isn't very appatizing to her, she doesn't care. Whoever it was going to be it wasn't going to change the fact that she was with Sasuke.

Smartest girl and strongest boy in he class--aren't they a match made in heaven? 

Plus, the more vindicative part of her whispers, this was a one up she had against Ino. 

On the other hand, Sasuke seemed a lot more interested on who their third teamate might be than he is with her. Sakura didn't really know what to say. What do boys like to talk about, anyway? Would he just find her annoying if she talked? And most harrowing and depressing of all, something that Sakura shamed herself to admit: Sakura had nothing to talk about.

There wasn't anything she knew that he didn't, and frankly, it would be insulting to be even think that there was something that Sasuke didn't know. 

Sure, her scores were higher in lessons and tests, but Sasuke always recieved more praise and he performed adequately enough, so that must mean he was going easy on her so she would feel good. So sweet of him!

She knew that underneath all that darkness and hatred, and occassional cruelty enough to make her eyes wet, Sasuke was a sweet boy. 

So Sakura was stuck, hopelessly trailing after Sasuke, and she could only be glad that the boy didn't mind her presence--maybe as long as she didn't talk. 

Conversationally, she said, "I wonder who our third teammate will be..." because that seemed like a safe enough topic. Conventional, and it's open enough that the answer would not be less simple than a mere 'yes' or 'no'. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes broodily. "I hope he's strong." He said simply.

"Or a she!" Sakura butt in. "Or a they!" She added, after a moment's thought. And then she really didn't have much else to say. 

"Maybe..." She started, hesitantly, "Maybe we need someone to fill the silence." 

Sasuke's normally impassive expression looked so close to being something aghast for a split second. "Don't you talk enough for everyone already?" 

And Sakura knows he didn't really say it to hurt, more of asking it as a genuine question, but part of Sakura still shrivelled up and she temporarily halted in her steps. "I didn't mean to talk so much." She said, meekly. 

Sasuke just regarded her for a moment, like he was about to apologize, but he just said nothing and continued walking. 

They reached the classroom door; this would be where they met their teammate, and their Jonin teacher. 

Sasuke slid open the door, and froze.

He was blocking her view of the classroom, so she couldn't see what he was looking at; trying to stand on her tip toes didn't really work either. It must really be somehing to break through Sasuke's indifference. 

"Hey!" She said, maybe a little louder than what was appropiate for a lady. "Could you move? I also want to see-" 

She pushed him maybe a little too hard, so both of them toppled over and fell into the classroom, landing in a pile with an Oomph!

So much for a good first impression, she lamented. 

There wasn't really a reaction from their third teammate though, so Sakura thought, a tad dejected, that he was not going to be very talkative. And then Sakura looked up. 

Staring from his position slumped over the desk as though sleeping, one blue eye peeked open to stare at them impassively, that undeniable shock of blond hair--that's Naruto, she thought, a previously disconnected wire snapping itself back in her head. 

Where had he gone? Why did he leave? 

Sakura scrambled herself into a position that can be resembled as sitting. "Naruto?" She asked, awe and disbelief evident in her voice.

But he didn't really particularly respond to that, blinking slowly at her for a bit, still slumped over his desk. 

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, a moment later, incredulousness breaking through his facade of calmness. 

Naruto unfurled his arms to raise his hand a little-and waved, maybe a tired, little grin pulling on his lips. Then he continued lying down. 

Sasuke moved past her shoulder to join Naruto, placing his chin on the steeple he formed with his fingers and glaring at nothing in particular as he took his seat on the desk next to him.

Sakura was left staring, a tad bit dumbfounded--maybe she was going into shock.

That was how Kakashi found them. 

If a man could sound both condescendingly disbelievingly incredulous and hopeful at the same time, that would be Kakashi. At least, that was how he sounded, when he uttered, "Naruto?" All other thoughts were banished from his mind.

Naruto stiffened, still attempting to feign an aloof exterior, but Kakashi's sharingan burns hot behind his eyelid; once he had begun sending shadow clones to drink that damn tea in his stead, every night, without fail, he dreams of Naruto's tiny body being held down and him screaming, screaming, borderline on being something animalistic and primal, and so, so afraid.

He's skinnier, and the jumpsuit couldn't quite hide that, bony wrists peeking from his almost billowing sleeves. He's longer, but that's because he's grown, well---grown in whatever place they had held him in.

And his chakra, god, and maybe that's why Kakashi hadn't realized it was Naruto and was half way through saying whatever cheesy opener he was going to say when he initially waltz into the room, expecting the A-grade girl and the broody, prodigal survivor of the Uchiha-clan, and maybe some extra but--this, Kakashi felt his eyes nose wrinkle into a grimace that gave away his distress. 

Naruto's chakra is a fraction of what it used to be, weak and blubbering instead of the bright flare he had always familiarized himself with. 

"Hello everyone." Naruto croaked, ducking his slightly. 

Kakashi struggles to re-center himself, blinking rapidly like that would dispel the image of Naruto like he was some kind of genjutsu, but nothing happens. 

For everyone else, the moment comes and passes by within the blink of an eye. 

Feeling around the rapidly deteriorating shards of his mind, Kakashi relocates the script he had deluded himself into following, and grasps it tightly like straws. 

"My first impression of you is," Kakashi says, though it sounds stilted and forced, "Is that you're all boring."

And then the black board eraser fell on his head. 

"I can't believe you!" Sakura's shrill voice could be heard slicing through the air, even as they made their way to the training grounds. "I actually thought you were different for a second there-but you're still so--!"

She huffs a breath, and growls out in repressed exasperation, "You!"

Kakashi tunes the majority of it out, rubbing his aching head. Initialy, the plan was to get them to the roof to introduce each other but...that didn't seem too neccessary anymore. 

They sunk into silence once Sakura's voice had grown too hoarse-or maybe she didn't know what else to say, because Naruto hadn't responded to any of her ire with his usual banter or excuses. They hadn't seen each other in years, after all-and where ever Naruto had been in those years, it'd beat the talk out of him, and the boy just seemed too tired to care. 

It was too unlike him, unlike the bright-eyed child they knew from before, and unnervingly so; Sakura could only stare. 

Thinking it was a good time to diffuse the strange, awkward, mounting tension that had been building since Sasuke walked inside that classroom and saw who their third teammate was, Kakashi fishes it from his pocket. 

Naruto perked up and the sound of the bells jingling, recognition flashing through his eyes. 

"For your test," Kakashi announces, holding them up. "Steal these bells from me."

After a pause, Sakura meekly pipes up, "But Sir," She said. "There's only two." 

Kakashi smiles. "Yes." He said, tight-lipped and eyes closed. "One of you will have to stay behind the Academy if you fail." 

Sakura stepped back, fear evident on her face. Sasuke's bored gaze turns a little more sharp, gears turning in his head. 

"Nuh-uh." That's the first thing Naruto had outwardly said since they saw him. "You're lying." He states. His voice is hoarse, a shadow of what it once was. 

Sakura stayed silent while Kakashi expected her to argue back against him. "Naruto," Sakura said, finally. Team 7 stared at their captain. 

"There wasn't ever a two genin-one captain team--ever." Naruto continues. "You're just trying to pit us against each other." Naruto accuses, scrunching up his eyebrows.

"That's true." Sakura said, after a moment.  

"Maybe so," Kakashi said, a slight tick in his voice giving away what otherwise should be read as indifference, "But well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

Naruto looked a little less sure of himself at that. 

Internally, Kakashi sweats. And freaks out a bit. That was his best card, and he honestly wouldn't know what he would do if Naruto called that out as well. 

"Let's test out your theory then?" Kakashi says lightly, "Would you really want to risk it?" He dangles the bells again, rattling them in front of Naruto's face, taunting him with it. To make it more convincing, he even laughs a bit, tauntingly. 

Naruto swallowed, staying silent. Internally, Kakashi breathes out a sigh of relief. "Alright then." He pauses, peeking one eye open. "I think that settles it." He straightens, putting the bells in his pocket and giving it a satisfied pat. 

Naruto makes a half aborted move to dash forwards, but stopped himself in time, as if just realizing Kakashi never said to begin. Kakashi smiles to himself at the thought. He pauses a little, maybe for dramatic effect, maybe to let Naruto re-center himself. 

"Begin."

Sasuke and Sakura instantly dashed away and hid in nearby bushes. He complements them on their reaction time. Kakashi already knows where they're hiding, lingering his gaze on their respective hiding spots, but when his eyes drift down to Naruto, the boy is still standing there, watching him. 

Kakashi doesn't quite know what to make of this new version of Naruto, foreign, and strange. "Aren't you going to run along?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head. 

Additional silence.

Frankly, he's sort of sick of that strange beat whenever the air shifts that Naruto uses to think about his answer. Naruto doesn't think. Well at least-not like this. A gust of wind blows by, ruffling their hairs and disturbing the leaves of the trees surrounding them. Part of Kakashi thinks he should leave. It was sheer, morbid curiousity that keeps his feet firmly planted on the ground, instead. He doubted anything Naruto tried would work. 

"Hey now," He chides, attempting aloofness. "Your captain is speaking to you. You should answer." 

Naruto grins at him, almost shyly. "Check your pockets," He whispered. 

Kakashi chuckles a bit, attempting to use his aloofness as shield and as a means to disarm the growing unease he feels. Something in his instincts scream that there is something really wrong.

But Kakashi decides to humour him. "Why would I do that?" He chuckles, a bit of nervousness trickling into his voice. "If you really wanna know I have a copy of Icha-Icha Paradise on my back left pocket and the bells are on my right," He jokes, reaching his hands down to feel the lumps of them through the fabric of his pants. "Can't have children accidentlly pulling porn from my pockets now, can I? I think I'd get sacked!" 

Alarm blares through Kakashi right as a small poofing sound can be heard and white smoke can be seen in his peripheral when he looks down on his pockets. Trying to control the shaking of his hands and the disbelief crawling up his throat, Kakashi tries to disguise the franticness in which his fingers feel around his pockets, trying to look for that familiar-shaped lump--except, except, his last attempts at feigning calm slips away when he hears ringing and his hands meets air. 

Triumphantly, held between Naruto's fingers, were the silver bells, jingling when they hit against each other. 

"How did you do that?" Kakashi fought to not let his voice waver, a tinge of fear making its way into his voice. All semblence of control had fallen away.

He hadn't sensed anything. No one's been able to sneak up on him yet--except for S rank missing-nins, no one. Naruto just smiles again, albeit this time bashfully. 

Kakashi was still gawking when the bushes rustled when Sasuke and Sakura jump from them. If it weren't for his mask, they might have laughed at the way his mouth was hung open right now. 

"Yeah Naruto," Sakura goaded. "How did you do that?" Sasuke remained silent, but the intensity of his eyes tells Kakashi his interest was undeniable. 

"I just," Naruto said, and he produced the hand gesture for the Shadow Clone Jutsu, you know, the forbidden one, like nothing was wrong. With a flourish, a carbon copy of Naruto materialized, waving a them. "I summoned it when Kakashi was looking at you guys hide." 

Sasuke turned his attention to a nearby pebble and kicked it sourly, as if to say, I thought I hid quite well. 

"But I would have heard it," Kakashi cuts in, surprised by the intensity of his voice. "I would have sensed it." He said, earnestly. Naruto only ducked his head, shrugging. 

"I dunno," He tried, "Maybe I'm just that silent. Shinobis are meant to be quiet, y'know?" 

"What happened to you, Naruto?" Naruto stiffened, breathing a bit sharper.

"I...can't really answer that, y'know..." Was whispered so small it may as well been lost in the wind. But Kakashi heard it. 

Naruto walked towards Sasuke and Sakura, the bells clacking against each other as he walked, and they both took a step back, wary with what he was going to do. 

But Naruto just smiled again, sweetly, and places a bell in their hands each. "For you." He whispered. They both stared at the bells equally dumbfounded. Well, Sasuke mostly stared at it like it offended him. 

Kakashi doesn't tie Naruto up, but he tells him to sit still as he opens up lunch for Sasuke and Sakura, testing to see if he would obey. He does. 

"Alright now," He tries. "You two will officially pass if you don't feed Naruto, alright?" And he feels a bit guilty saying it, wincing. He said 'feed Naruto' like he was some sort of dog. They nodded, and Kakashi went to hide in a nearby bush to further wallow in his shame, a brief reprieve from the front he constructed in front of his students. 

Occasionally, Naruto's eyes flick right to where he was hiding and Kakashi would jump, spooked and panicked, before he convinces himself it was merely a fluke, fighting to calm his racing heart. 

The sound of Naruto's growling stomach penetrates the silence, not allowing it to ever drag out for too long. The boy sighed. "I hadn't eaten." He said, forlornly. 

"Since when?" Sakura snorted, attempting for a joke through her mouthful of rice, but then Naruto actually answers.

"Since..." He trailed off, and it was silent again, and he never answered the question. The answer became clear then: He didn't remember. The ensuing pause was awkward.

"Eat then." Sasuke shoved food at Naruto's mouth. The boy blinked up at him in surprise. Sasuke fumed, looking like he was about to chuck the entire lunchbox at Naruto's face at the prospect of having to explain himself. Admitting he cared for Naruto clashed too much with his 'bad boy' persona he'd built himself up to have. 

"But Sasuke-" Sakura half-heartedly starts, but quiets when Sasuke turns to glare at her, as if daring her to comment. 

"It's okay." The raven haired boy gritted, scooping up the next spoonful for Naruto. "This is probably another ruse. Are you seriously going starve your future teammate?" 

Sakura nodded, a determined look entering her face, and gives Naruto food as well.

"Thank you guys..." Naruto says through a mouthful of food. His voice was thick, but neither of them knew if it was due to tears or due to the rice. Either way, no one commented on that.

Kakashi worries on the implications of that, already filing it away for his mind to obsess over it later.

For the first time in a while, his mind wanders back to the conversation he had years ago with Iruka, about leaving...it was much too dangerous, survivng out there with a trail of angry shinobi hot on their heels for being traitors to the village...they would have to wait until some sort of opportunity presented itself. Even harder still would be the comrades they've still grown to care about, despite the corrupt village system they were trapped in. What of them?

Kakashi quickly shook himself out of those thoughts, shaking his head. There was no use in lingering on those thoughts for too long: They only brought him additional baggage and misery.

Kakashi figured this was a time as good as any, anyway. He materialized in front of them, scaring Sasuke and Sakura. They squeaked and jumped back. "You....!" He plays up the growl and fury in his voice, relishing in the way they trembled close together like new-born chicks. Pause. For dramatic effect. 

Sakura actually hid her face like he was going to start attacking them. Sasuke's gaze was challenging. Naruto just chewed on his food, albeit slower.

"Pass!" 

Collectively, they sighed, sagging onto one another, boneless from relief. It was adorable enough that Kakashi would have liked to snap a photo. 

"You figured it out." Kakashi asked, breathless, a bit surprised, and even a little proud, even though they hadn't begun training yet. "How did you do it?"

Naruto tilted his head, and despite how his words ring true, Kakashi was chilled by them, because he'd never taught him that. And only one other person has ever had that saying.

"Those who don't follow the rules are trash, but those who betray their comrades are worse than trash."