Chapter Text
Wake up, make breakfast, pack up kids for school with lunches made the night before, send them to school, do needed chores or my job, avoid teammates unless necessary, make excuses to turn down longer missions, pick up kids, start/make/eat dinner, bedtime for kids, hour to relax before shuteye. Repetition kept me sane for a long time after I ended up in Konoha with three siblings. Two years and I regret not just taking up a normal civilian job, just because I felt I owed loyalty to a village that wanted powerful soldiers. Passing genin level was easy enough, despite the hours spent caring for children I wasn’t ready to. But now? I had a team that despised something about me I couldn’t hide from, them or me.
Wow, proper angsty intro huh? Anyways, names Frank. Frank Yennesy Or Fran. I’m 13 years old and I want that to Stop Now. I have 99 problems and my team is 90 of them. Sensei hates me, the other two think beating on me will earn them brownie points with him. Juggling kids and a career is sucking my ass from underneath me, but sheer will power and everything my mom taught me before… all this happened, hasn’t failed me yet, so I won’t let some WHINY, SNOT NOSED-
“YENNESY WE DON’T HAVE ALL DAY, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE CHUNIN EXAMS DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO LAG BEHIND LIKE THE ROTTING SLIME YOU ARE” My thoughts are interrupted by the sensei smacking the back of my head. I refocus on the two figures in front of me. My teammates are shaking with mirth.
“Yeah Frank, quit holding us back like you always do, punching bag.” Sohna jeers, with a very obvious search on our- THEIR sensei’s face for approval. She doesn’t get any. “If he’s just gonna drag his feet, can me and Sohna just go up ahead, sensei?” I blink back an eyeroll and sigh. I care about the Chunin exams, but spending so long with these two and away from my siblings is exhausting and hostile.
“Sorry Bithas Sensei, judging by those two, I thought it was fuck around hour.” He jabs my side, the one with the broken ribs. Just off bedrest and they treat me like this. Not surprised no one batted an eye when I showed up at the hospital with a broken nose, broken ribs, and bone jutting out from the elbow after a very public “sparring match”.
“Don’t sass me young man, I will lay you out to dry.” Flashing a thumbs up, getting another smack, I run off to rejoin Namoi and Sohna. I get a stink eye from Sohna, and Namoi punches my shoulder. “Keep up will you, we don’t got all day! Race you to the building, last one there eats sensei’s cooking!”
“You’re on Gnatboy!” He shoves me harshly and we take off. Like his attitude and behavior, Bithas’s cooking was angry and nasty. “Don’t just race off you two- oh nevermind.” I hear Sohna sigh.
Once we find the building, we are distracted by the scene in one of the corridors. Sasuke, resident heartthrob, Naruto, resident ass pain, and Sakura, resident cherry blossom, are being harassed by Rock Lee, the friendliest dude right next to his sensei, Maito Gai.
None of this concerns me or Namoi, so we head inside. Two floors up I see the room number. For floor number 3… with two ninja disguised as a couple Genin. It was such an obvious fake out. You just had to look inside the door, the “people” already inside looked off.
“Hey, where are you going? Floor three is right there- HEY LET GO. YOU HEAR ME?! LEMME GO!” I drag Namoi up the stairs to the actual third floor, where he immediately pouts in defeat. I stick my tongue at him and abandon him to sit with another team.
“Don’t you have your own team to hang with.” The dude standing a couple feet from me has cat ears on his hood , or at least the points look like ears.
“If I wanted to hang out with my team before a test, I’d sit down with the friendlier looking shinobi, instead of menacing, short and furious, and the dude who looks like a cat.” He snorts at me, but besides living representation of psychological damage staring his damned best into the side of my skull, no one has prodded me yet, so this was the most relaxation I’ve had yet. I think I’ll take a nap.
“You talk a lot of guff for someone looking two inches from another broken arm.” Thanks ponytails, I needed a reminder. Sitting back up I glance over at eyeliner pro and give my full attention back to his equally scary teammate.
“If I was weak enough to get a broken arm from a malnourished preteen I’d have folded when I was 11.” That gets … a reaction I wasn’t looking for. So I turn and stare directly into wow I need him to teach me his eyeliner routine. Wow he is scary. Wow I am turning away.
“Well, are you looking for a fight squirt? Think you can take us? You couldn’t even fight whoever gave you the black eye you’re sporting.” Rude and yeah I can take them. With one arm in a sling.
“Yeah, I can take you, I’ll take you on right now. Let’s go, no balls.” Luckily the posturing is interrupted by another fight starting where my other teammates are. Who were participating in it. Great. Hope this doesn’t count against our advancement. I look at the blonde girl and catdude with a look I hope pulls off ‘I am obviously not like them let me stay here’. Surprisingly they nod, catdude rolls his eyes, and we turn back at the fight, which was thankfully broken up by the most hardcore guy I have ever seen. I wish I could be him.
“Listen up smubs.” Or whatever he says here. I stopped listening fully until he announced seating arrangements. Waving goodbye to the other two, I get stuck next to Murderlord. Garlic was it? I don’t know but now I’m too embarrassed to ask because that is Defintely not his name.
“You got any idea why they think you should be stuck with me, Garlic?” I have fucked up exponentially. He gives me a look of confusion and exasperation, which isn’t an emotion I thought edgelords could have. He’s lucky he’s terrifying.
“Stop talking to me or I’ll kill you.” Oh he’s a little fucked up actually.
“How old are you, Garble?” Digging my own grave at Mach 5.
“...” I’ve hit rock bottom. He hasn't done anything to me but be the spookiest little guy I’ve ever had the misfortune and luck to be a jerk to.
“Gaara, I can only offer my most sincere apology.” He turns away looking simultaneously stoic and like a rabid chihuahua, so I tune back in exactly when the proctor announces the rules and what the exam is about. Written test, oh no, don’t get caught cheating, oh no , every time you are caught cheating you get a point removed, oh no , start off with ten points once you lose all of them you and your team fail the exam, test starts three two one WAIT HOLD ON.
Everyone laser focuses on their paper, so I pretend to know exactly what I need to do. I know these answers, oh, this will be a breeze. I lied. Not enough to sweat it though, this isn’t really most Genin’s material. I’m going to cheat, they are daring me to cheat. Sneaking a peek at Gaara gets a great view of sand in my eye. Where??? How?? It came out of nowhere, leaving only questions and a violent itch. Is this his jutsu? Well, I can play this game too, sandman.
I switch out our left eyes, his blue for my purple. Gaara flinches, so I quickly and gently write down ‘ow for the sand, help me out I’ll help you’. His hand hesitates, then writes down ‘I will need both my eyes for that then.’ I give him a thumbs up then release his vision. I feel a slight pull from the chakra link I formed, then a sand eye forms in his hand. Cool. He releases it and it finds another sand-in-the-eyes victim. I pick a random person and use their own vision to look at their paper. Gaara has his sand eye prod me, I reconnected our vision, and we compare answers. I give him another thumbs up. He flicks his pencil at me. I count this as an absolute win.
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I’m bored as MUCK. Three teams have been eliminated, my team hasn’t been stupid enough to be kicked out, though I got flipped off while relaying my answers, but nothing has happened to us so far, so I doodle plants and animals on the paper. Hope I don’t get points taken off for this too. I know someone had to have caught us. The room is filled with Jonin, and that sand eye was as discreet as a paper plane. Finally, we were told to put our pencils down. Then we get a bomb dropped on us.
“If you leave the room right now, you can retake the exam next time. But if you stay and fail, you never get to take it again.” I like these odds. I go to raise my hand, as two other people had done, but Naruto jumps up, shouting about determination and grit and never giving up, believe it. I feel… pretty confident. He sure knows how to inspire a room. Soon the whole room agrees, leveling all our steeled gazes at the proctor. He grins. We sweat. He tells us we all passed. That the exam was to test our ability to gather knowledge without alerting guards. I now really want to know how many points I had left. I smirk at Gaara. I get an impassive face for my troubles.
I have entirely lost my patience. “You ever considered not being a prick, cactus?”
“Don’t get cocky, this is only the first exam.”
“Fuck off to you too my friend.” That one gets a reaction. He widens his eyes at me by a quick fraction and just as suddenly smothers it with a scowl. I don’t think it was from the fuck off. Someone smashes in through the window. The lady in question, after she slows down enough for us to see her, tells us all we were gonna die and our current proctor tells her she’s early.
I decidedly don’t rejoin my team.
I walk off with team apathetic and two of them look at me with apprehension. Gaara treats me like I’m just another nuisance, which is to say he doesn’t look at me at all, nor show that he cares. My own team glares at me. I don’t look back.
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At the forest of death, we are given some time to regroup as our new proctor goes off and prepares a more on time grand entrance. I decided to wait till the last minute. I stay with the bad vibes brigade which has turned into the indifference squad for me. No poking, prodding, pinching, Suna ninja know how to respect personal space. I consider making small talk.
“So that guy is creepy right.” Nailed it.
“Who.” Most of them but…
“Tongue guy harassing the hyperactive orange one.” The older two, I found out recently, cringe and Kankuro frowns.
“Met the orange guy when we got here. Think his name is Nardo or something along those lines. Don’t know.” I entirely believe Kankuro doesn’t care either.
“I have never seen so much creep in one place since my younger days.” Temari had overhead us, which shows in a huff of amusement
“If you two are done, we are being called over for the scrolls.” I sigh. I knew my vacation would be over too soon. Back to the ol’ chopping block. Ok no don’t want to think about that.
“Done cavorting with the enemy?” Not now Namoi.
“Done shoving that scroll up your ass?”
“Don’t mouth off to me, I’ll get sensei.”
“You always get sensei. Grow a pair and beat me half to death yourself.” Real mature,all of us.
“Now isn’t the time, we will deal with you later Frank.” Looking forward to it, Sohna. I await your ass beating.
“In the forest of death or our normal death arena?” Namoi bats at my head, misses, stumbles, recovers badly, I bust a gut laughing, Sohna hits us both, and we take off. Not long we hit a big fuck off snake. It didn’t notice us so we sped off in another direction.
After some distance had been covered, we slowed down for a breather.
“Should’ve gotten rid of worm farm back there. Perfect chance too. Though he’s probably too foul for even a giant snake, aren’t you, garbage?” Sohna you have the wit of a snail.
“Garbage here, snakes love me and you’re just jealous because animals think you smell.” That earns a snarl and she slashes at me with her kunai.
“Watch it. Wasting your poison kunai on garbage will ruin your perfectly fine weapon otherwise.” Another barely missed swipe and she switches hands to grab me.
“ Mouth off again and you’ll regret it. Now hurry up and scan the area for another team. If you weren’t listening, we need to get a earth scroll with our heaven one.” Who died and made you team leader? I’d rather listen to Gnatboy. Who is trembling with utter joy.
“Yeah, cringe, L, seeth. And you can laugh it up Gnatboy.” He’s still shaking, but he makes the most butt ugly face at me.
“That's not my name and you kno-” Loud laughs echo through the woods, coming from the left of us. Sohna and Namoi looked at each other, then me, and ran off towards the sound. I follow shortly behind, feeling a sense of dread seep into me.
“Yeah, just rush in there. You even told me to scan for threats and targets, Sohna. God I wish my own damn teacher wasn’t a braindead idiot. I miss the sand weirdos.” I closed the distance between me and my teammates quickly, so I could use their proximity and sight to stay safe and scan out the trouble. We landed in a tree next to a clearing, where the people I actually enjoyed being near were being mocked by some Big Hat men.
“You serious?! Runt doesn’t even come up to my chin! How’s he gonna kill me, kick me in the ankle? Bite me? Yeah right!” Kick sand in his eyes Gaara, I believe in you.
“In fact, we won’t waste any more of our time on some kids. Give us your scroll or die.” 0 to 100 really quick. I’m shaking in my leather sandals. Temari gives the ninja a vicious grin.
“Gaara possesses the ultimate defense, you don’t stand a chance.” The lead Hat Man laughs again. The two beside me snicker. I give them unamused looks and look back to see umbrellas. Which are just like their hats and egos. Big.
“We’ll prove that false quickly, since you won’t yield. Thousand needles rain storm!” Sure enough, lots of needles formed and went rushing at Gaara. Who, to his credit, didn’t move an inch. His sand reacts like a champ though, blocking the onslaught.
“H-how the hell did that miss you?!” Gaara held his hand up, which made the sand move too fast for the poor guy to dodge, trapping him in a clump of it. He looked rightfully terrified. I felt a little queasy too. Gaara picked up his forgotten umbrella and my stomach curdled.
“Let’s end this now. Sand Burial!” His hand clenched and the dude popped like a balloon. Failing to resist the urge to hurl, I slide down the tree to retch as silently as I could into the bushes. Sweet Kami, good to know Gaara doesn’t make false threats, oh fuck . I turn back towards the scene and see the other two trapped and crushed as well, then back down to the man of the massacre staring right through me. I’m no mouse but I sure felt like I was prey.
“You useless rat! You gave us away to a PSYCHOPATH ” Sohna launched her kunai at me and trapped me against the tree I was leaning against for support. I tried to dodge, but it had sunk into my arm. I gasped out a helpless wail as my team ran for their lives, using me as their human shield.
I heard the sand before I felt it. It crawled up my legs and I flung myself up, trying to yank the kunai out of the meat of my arm. It stung from the wound and the poison, but not as much as the sand that launched up and slashed away half my face. One half of my vision went black, the other went bloody, and heard a scream. The kunai finally came out and I held my face as the sand advanced on my weakening body. I rocketed up, which was my third mistake, right after meeting and thinking I was bonding with these people. My head slammed into a branch, and I lost consciousness on the way back down.