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Jennie Kim has a massive, devastating, irreversible dislike for Lalisa Manoban.
Now, when people find out about this, the first thing they usually do is ask, How can you not like Lisa? She’s so sweet!
And here is Jennie’s answer, every time: Because she’s a manipulative, egotistical, walking headache.
Most drop the topic after that, because who are they to dictate who Jennie can and can’t dislike? She’s very entitled to her own opinions, thank you very much.
Most, however, doesn’t include her annoying best friend and her annoying best friend’s equally annoying girlfriend, who both seem absolutely set on making Jennie Kim and Lisa Manoban like each other.
Which, by the way, “It’ll never happen. End of story.”
Jisoo, (the aforementioned annoying best friend) stomps her foot—honest to god stomps her foot, like a child—and says, “You haven’t even given her a chance, Jennie!”
“Yeah,” Rosie, (the aforementioned annoying best friend’s girlfriend) says, less whiny than Jisoo but just as unbearable. “I don’t understand how you can’t like someone you don’t even know.”
“Oh, I know her plenty well.” Jennie glares into her mug of coffee, swirling it probably far too aggressively for her to be surprised when some of it sloshes over the rim and onto her white socks.
“How can you?” Jisoo asks, ignoring Jennie, who’s cursing under her breath and peeling her ruined sock off her foot. “You hardly even speak to her.”
“You hardly even look at her,” Rosie adds, unhelpfully.
Jennie tosses her sock onto the counter. “That’s not true. You guys make me hang out with her all the time.”
Neither of them argue with that. Doing so would be fruitless, because Jennie’s right. (She’s always right in these situations.)
“At least once a week, she has dinner with us,” Jennie continues. Her coffee starts cooling in her hands, and she takes a sip of it, reminded that it is too early in the morning to be having this conversation. “You never let her sleep on the couch when she stays over so she always sleeps with me in my bed, and she always stays over when she has dinner with us because she’s a damn alcoholic. And don’t even get me started on how I have to drive her home when she gets wasted and refuses to stay or get an Uber, which I’m pretty sure she does on purpose just to make me get out of the house late at night.” Jennie doesn’t mention the amount of times they’ve dragged Lisa along for shopping or manicures or anything else, and the time they accidentally locked Jennie and Lisa in a closet together.
They all remember how that ended.
“Jisoo! What the hell, let me out!” Jennie bangs on the door, hardly believing that she’s in this situation right now. This is—this is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to her. It’s one of her top three nightmares, right up there with being possessed by a demon and losing her precious dogs. And—
And Jisoo Kim is a psychopath. It’s official.
“Guys, this isn’t funny!” Jennie bangs again, and then kicks, but the door only rattles. “Rosie?” she tries, but that doesn’t get a response either, and that’s when she knows that they’ve left.
“Give it up, Princess. They’re not going to let us out.”
Jennie doesn’t dignify her with a response, because it’s not the fact that she’s locked in a closet that makes this nightmarish.
It’s the fact that she’s locked in a closet with the person she hates most in the world, that makes her pinch herself just to make sure she’s actually awake.
“Jen, I’m serious. You’re going to bruise those pretty hands of yours.”
Even her voice gets on Jennie’s nerves. Just hearing her makes Jennie want to punch something—specifically a certain unfairly perfect face.
“Jennie.” A hand grabs her wrist, makes her stop abusing the closet door, and Jennie pulls back like she’s been burned, facing her with pure, unadulterated rage in her eyes.
“Don’t touch me,” she hisses, wanting to shove her away, but Lisa lets go before she can.
“Jesus, I’m sorry. You were just about to break your wrist. I was trying to look out for you.”
Jennie looks at her, the woman she’s known since she was an infant and the woman she’s hated since high school, and doesn’t believe her for a second. “I can take care of myself.” Admittedly, Jennie’s hand does hurt quite a bit, but, still. “We need to get out of here, Lisa.”
Lisa shrugs, seeming way too nonchalant for their situation, and slides down the wall, sitting against it. “They’ll let us out eventually.”
“You don’t know them.”
Lisa sighs the way she would if she were dealing with a frustrating child. “I’ve been friends with them for three years.”
Jennie hates it when Lisa decides to act mature, because it just makes her feel petty and childish without anyone to fight back with her, so she sits on the floor, too. Even ground.
“If we’re quiet, they might think we’ve set aside our differences and let us out.”
“They left the room.” Jennie feels a headache coming on, just like she always does when Lisa’s with her. “They’ll probably forget about us and leave us here to starve to death.”
“Don’t be dramatic, Princess.”
“I’m not, it’s the truth.”
“Yes, you are.” Jennie’s not looking, but she can feel Lisa’s eye roll. “You’re always so dramatic.”
“Oh, piss off, Lisa.”
She does, surprisingly, and they sit like that for what must be ten minutes. Lisa takes out her phone, but Jennie left her’s out in the living room. She has half the mind to fake a seizure or heart attack or some other life-threatening issue that would force Jisoo to let them out of this damn closet, but she’s not sure how well she’d be able to act that out.
It’s when she’s considering doing something crazy like ripping her own hair out that Lisa says, “Why do you hate me so much?”
Jennie looks straight at her. “What’s there to like?”
Usually, that gets Lisa to stop asking stupid questions like this, but apparently being trapped in a five-foot space is doing something to her head, because she strives on. “I’m serious. I try to be civil, I try to be nice, I smile at you and buy you coffee and even compliment you sometimes.” Lisa looks defeated, and Jennie wonders if she has finally gotten under her skin for good. “We used to be friends when we were kids. And I know I could have been nicer to you in the past, but what did I do to make you such a bitch?”
Jennie scowls, not because she’s been called a bitch—she knew that already—but because she’s so sick of this conversation. “Okay, don’t go acting dumb, now. I’m not going to play this weird mind game with you.”
At that, Lisa looks even more exasperated. “You always say that whenever I ask what I did wrong, but I have no idea what it means. Jennie, I honestly don’t know what I did, but—“
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“Jennie—“
“Lisa,” Jennie says lowly. The oxygen in the room must be running out because Jennie suddenly feels incredibly close to punching this girl in the face. “If you don’t stop talking, I swear I will—“
“You’ll what? Scare me?” Lisa says, boldly, idiotically. The fire is back in her eyes, and Jennie is pleased that she seems to be done acting as the mature one out of the two of them, but she also wishes that Lisa would just shut her mouth because she’s about to—
Lisa squints, grins her infuriating grin, and whispers, “Oh, I know what this is about.”
Breathe in, breathe out. “Shut. Up.”
“Aw.” Lisa gives a little pout, amusement dancing in her brown eyes and in the way her right eyebrow kinks up. “That’s not very nice. You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to bring it up.”
Jennie wants to scream, but forces another two deep breaths and refrains from telling Lisa that whatever she thinks this is about, she’s wrong. Lisa would never be bold enough to talk about the horrible thing she did to Jennie to ruin them for good.
“You don’t want me to bring up Mina.”
Oh, god.
“You do remember Mina, don’t you?”
Okay, maybe Lisa isn’t bold enough to talk about the worst thing she’s done to Jennie, but she’s apparently bold enough to talk about this. And this…this is just—
“Long black hair…”
Diabolical—
“Pretty legs…”
Evil—
“They were especially pretty wrapped around my waist, don’t you think?”
Unacceptable.
Before Lisa can get another word out, Jennie launches at her, all of her barely restrained anger coming out in the form of closed fists and hot tears that threaten to spill but don’t.
Lisa yelps when Jennie lands her first punch, as if it were unexpected, and Jennie knows she’s gotten her in the nose good. She throws a satisfying one at Lisa’s eye and then another one at her lip, before Lisa comes to her senses and brings her hands up to Jennie’s chest, shoving her off of her, so Jennie loses the upper hand.
Jennie’s about to retreat, breathing heavily, when Lisa tackles her to the ground and there’s a crack and a white-hot pain behind her eyes, and she feels wet warmth down her face. She’s not sure if it’s her blood or Lisa’s.
Lisa’s yelling something while she hits Jennie, and Jennie’s been screaming this whole time, so it’s no surprise when the closet door flies open and someone screeches while someone else grabs Lisa around the waist and carries her away.
Without a weight on her stomach, Jennie’s able to breathe and then sit up, wiping at her face. Her hand comes away bloody.
“What the hell, you guys.” It’s Jisoo, still holding Lisa, who looks like she wants to be on top of Jennie again. “What the hell.”
“I told you this was a bad idea.” Rosie rushes to Jennie’s side, tching when she studies her wounds. As soon as Jennie looks at Rosie, with her comforting eyes and soft hands stroking her hair, she begins to cry. She’s not sure exactly why she’s crying—because her face hurts or because her feelings hurt or something else—but she doesn’t bother to try to stop. Rosie gasps and says, “Oh, honey.”
“Lisa,” Jisoo says, “what did you do to her?”
“She swung first!” Lisa sounds incredulous. “Look! I’m bleeding too, you know.”
When Jisoo says, “I didn’t mean the fighting,” it’s under her breath, but Jennie still hears it.
Rosie presses a kiss to Jennie’s forehead. “Come on, sweetheart. I’ll help you get cleaned up, okay?”
Jennie doesn’t look at Lisa when she passes by on her way out, and the next day she’s not looking at Rosie or Jisoo either.
She doesn’t talk to them for the next two weeks.
Rosie and Jisoo look guiltily at each other, probably thinking the same thing as Jennie, but they obviously don’t feel too bad about it because a second later Jisoo’s saying, “She’s not that bad.”
Jennie huffs. They’re about to go around in circles again, and she abandons her coffee on the counter. “Yes, she is. I don’t care how much you two like who you think she is. I know the real Lisa.” Jennie shoves past them, making her way out of she and Jisoo’s tiny kitchen, and just as she’s about to turn the corner Jisoo says her name.
A tiny smile creeps on her face, satisfied. Storming out of the room nearly always earns her an apology, and she schools her expression into one of indifference before looking over her shoulder, ready for something along the lines of, We’re sorry, we’ll never bring it up again, you’re the best and we’re the worst and we’ll do your chores for a month.
Instead, she gets a wet sock to the face.
“Jisoo!” Jennie screeches, startled and disappointed. “What the hell!”
Jisoo shrugs. “You were about to leave your sock on the counter. It’s gross.”
Jennie looks to Rosie, who usually takes Jennie’s side when Jisoo’s being immature like this, but she’s suddenly very interested in the blank screen of her phone.
She is no help. Jennie doesn’t even bother with telling her that because Rosie probably already knows it. Instead, she glares at Jisoo and turns on her heel, slamming the door shut when she gets to her room.
---------------------
Roseanne Park often finds herself questioning Jisoo Kim’s sanity.
Now, don’t get her wrong. Rosie supports Jisoo in everything she does, no matter how…ambitious. But at this point, Jisoo’s obsession with a certain Jennie Kim and Lisa Manoban is getting out of hand.
Rosie knows this when she wakes up at some point in the night, when the sun hasn’t begun to rise yet, and finds her girlfriend not in bed next to her, but across the room at her desk, on her computer.
It’s cold, and Rosie groans, feeling around the bed for any of her clothes.
Jisoo looks over her shoulder. “Are you awake?”
“Mm.” Giving up on the idea of clothes, Rosie pulls the comforter more tightly around herself. “Barely.”
“Okay. Good.” To Rosie’s despair, Jisoo gets out of her chair and walks over to the bed, having the audacity to try to tug Rosie out of it. “Come on, I need your help.”
“No, it’s still sleepy time.” Rosie’s fully aware that she’s whining, but she’s tired and freezing and now annoyed at her girlfriend. “Jisoo, stop. Come back to bed. Have you even slept?”
“Sleep is for the weak.” Jisoo gives up on the tugging but doesn’t make any move to join Rosie in bed, which is disappointing considering some shared body heat could solve at least two of Rosie’s problems right now. “It’s not that early, anyways.”
It’s summer so the sun has been rising at around six in the morning, which means it’s at least earlier than that. And earlier than six a.m. on a summer weekend is way too early for Rosie. “I don’t care, go bother Jennie. I’m sure she’ll help you.”
“No, babe, I’m helping her.”
“What?” Rosie’s too tired for riddles.
“Just get up and I’ll explain.” And then Jisoo’s hands are on her again, tugging relentlessly.
When Rosie’s more awake, she’ll think of a proper punishment for the way Jisoo’s acting. For now, the best she can do is grumble as she sits up, Jisoo’s fluffy blanket held tightly around her shoulders.
Instead of taking a seat next to her, Jisoo goes back to her desk, clicking her computer back on and nearly blinding Rosie.
“Okay,” she starts, and she has that excited lilt in her voice that means she has an idea that she thinks is brilliant but is probably actually crazy. “So, you know how I was wanting Jennie and Lisa to do something with us, as a group? And how Jennie was against it?”
Does Rosie remember the pointless argument Jisoo and Jennie had yesterday morning? “Yes.”
“Well, I just bought four tickets for the basketball game you and Lisa have been wanting to see.”
Rosie’s first instinct is to yell, but at this point, all she can do is shake her head tiredly and say, “You know that’ll never work, Jisoo.”
“Have some faith in me, babe!” Jisoo wheels her chair around and points at her computer screen. Squinting, Rosie sees that it’s open to some sort of online store, and the words Thank you for your purchase, and enjoy the game! are branded in bold at the top. “This will work. I have a real plan this time, and—”
“They’ll never like each other, when will you see that?” Rosie says, voice high-pitched. Not only are Lisa and Jennie tired of Jisoo’s pointless attempts to get them to fall in love or whatever, but Rosie is, too. And yet, Jisoo still pulls shit like this. “Either refund the tickets or find someone else to go with us, because this isn’t going to work. None of these plans ever work, Jisoo. Just let them live.” She’s aware she’s being a little harsh, but, come on.
Jisoo pouts, and if that isn’t enough to make Rosie feel guilty, the quiet, “Don’t be mean,” from her girlfriend definitely is.
Rosie sighs and runs a hand through her hair, winces when she realizes she’ll definitely need a shower in the morning, and says, “Sorry, baby. I’m just—you woke me up at an ungodly hour of the morning and I’m tired and you won’t drop this whole Jennie-Lisa thing, and I’m a little grumpy.” She tries patting the space next to her. “Please, just come to bed. You need your sleep. I need my sleep.” Jisoo looks unconvinced, and she says, “We can talk about it tomorrow, okay?”
Jisoo stares at her for another second, still pouting, before turning her computer off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—I shouldn’t have woken you up, it’s stupid.” The room’s almost completely dark and Rosie can barely make out Jisoo’s silhouette coming towards her.
“It’s not stupid,” Rosie says quickly, feeling bad just like she always does when she crushes Jisoo’s spirit. “I understand why you want them to get along.” Jisoo tries to walk past her to get to her own side of the bed, but Rosie grabs her hand and tugs her closer until she’s standing between her legs. “They’re our friends. It would be nice if they didn’t hate each other.”
Jisoo just stands there when Rosie wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her close enough to press a kiss to her sternum. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, baby. It’s not a big deal. I’m just cranky.”
Finally, Jisoo gives in and wraps her arms around Rosie’s neck, leaning down to kiss her on the lips twice. “I know. I won’t keep you up any more.” Jisoo tugs herself out of Rosie’s grasp and climbs into bed, opening her arms for Rosie, who’s already climbing in after her.
When they’re pressed to each other, Rosie’s bare skin against Jisoo’s soft pajamas, it’s easy to fall asleep. The only thing that worries Rosie before her eyes drift shut for good is that, when morning comes, she won’t be able to dissuade her girlfriend from the crazy idea she’s gotten this time.
Which is evidently a valid worry, because when Rosie wakes up the next morning the first thing she hears is raised voices coming from the living room. Someone arguing. Jennie, angry, and Jisoo, eager.
Just perfect.
Rosie reluctantly climbs out of bed, finding her underwear beneath the bed and one of her sleep shirts from Jisoo’s closet. As soon as she’s decent and in the hallway, she gets a headache. Why do Jennie and Jisoo have to be so loud?
Jisoo’s in the middle of a long-winded rant about the basketball tickets she bought last night, and Jennie appears to be seething with steam coming out of her ears, until she catches sight of Rosie, and lights right up. “Finally, you’re awake!” she looks at Jisoo. “She’ll agree with me about this.” Then back at Rosie. “Right?”
Jisoo turns to look at her, and Rosie blubbers for a moment before deciding faux innocence is the best way to go. “I don’t know what you guys are even arguing about.” Even though she heard half the conversation.
“Yes, you do! You yelled at me about it last night, remember?”
Jisoo Kim is very smart. But it’s times like these that Rosie wonders how she’s passing university with her level of common sense. “No, I don’t.”
“What? Do you have amnesia or something? Of course you do!” Jisoo frowns. “It was barely five hours ago.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Does this count at gaslighting? Is Rosie gaslighting her own girlfriend?
Oh, well. As long as she can stay out of this fight. She hates getting caught in the crossfire of her girlfriend and Jennie’s arguments.
“We’re arguing about the fact that Jisoo has gone absolutely batshit crazy this time and went ahead and bought four expensive basketball tickets, and invited Lisa to come with us.” Jennie sends a withering glare Jisoo’s way. “You’re getting out of control.”
Rosie tries to sneak out of the living room, because all she wants is a cup of coffee and one of those Walmart doughnuts Jennie bought yesterday, but Jisoo catches her wrist. “I know you think it’s crazy, too, but can’t you tell Jennie that it won’t hurt to try to be civil with Lisa?”
Rosie looks between the two of them. Whose bad side does she want to be on today? On the one hand, Jennie is a very scary person, and she knows where Rosie sleeps at night. On the other hand, Jisoo, as Rosie’s girlfriend, can and will withhold a lot of very valuable things (like cuddles, for example) that Rosie’s not sure she can stand to go without this week.
“Jen…Jisoo’s right.” Jisoo is definitely not right, and now Rosie is the one sinking away from a look that can only be described as murderous.
The pleased smile on Jisoo’s face almost makes up for it, though.
“Fine. Take her side, as always.” It’s not like Rosie always takes Jisoo’s side. Sometimes Jisoo’s so wrong that Rosie morally can’t even pretend to agree with it. “I hate living in this fucking apartment. I’m the only one here with any common sense, but you both team up on me all the time.” Jennie’s huffing, though not irrationally, and Rosie is sort of relieved when she storms out with nothing more than a, “Whatever.”
As soon as she’s gone, Rosie sighs and turns to her smiling girlfriend. “You owe me. Big time.”
Jisoo leans in and kisses her and says, “You’re the best girlfriend ever,” and, admittedly, that’s enough for Rosie.
She has to act tough, though. “That doesn’t get you off the hook.”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s besides the point, anyway.” Jisoo’s eyes are lit up and she’s swinging their joint hands between them excitedly. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about last night. Don’t you know the cameraman that works at the basketball court this game’s at?”
There’s no way this can be going somewhere good. “Well, I need you to help me out.”
And Jisoo tells Rosie her plan.
And it’s a good, thought-out, maniacal plan. And there’s about a thirty-five percent chance it’ll work. And Jisoo’s goal is obviously not just for a friendship to come out of this.
And Roseanne Park considers putting Jisoo Kim in a psychiatric hospital.
Yet, she still finds herself calling that cameraman and asking that crazy favor.
If there was a definition for ‘whipped’, Rosie’s sure this would be it.
---------------------
Lalisa Manoban has a massive, devastating, irreversible, unrequited crush on Jennie Kim.
Note: unrequited.
Lisa’s well aware Jennie hates her guts. And for good reason, too.
For example: She pushed her off the swings when they were five and later lied about it to their parents. She didn’t invite Jennie to her tenth birthday party out of spite because she was mad at Jennie for whatever reason that week. She let Jennie walk around with period blood staining her jeans for a whole school day when they were twelve because she just couldn’t figure out how to tell her.
And when Jennie had a crush on Myoui Mina in Sophomore year, Lisa got jealous and she let Jennie catch them making out in the art room during lunch.
That was the day they stopped being friends for good.
Basically, Lisa has been a bitch to Jennie all their lives, plain and simple. And basically, Lisa has been in love with her for forever and doesn’t know how to express her feelings.
Basically, Lisa had thought that they could go their separate ways after high school and she could forget all about Jennie, and she could stop pretending to hate her, and she could stop being hated by her. But then, not even a year into uni, she befriended Roseanne Park and then befriended Roseanne Park’s girlfriend, who just so happened to be Jennie Kim’s roommate. Now they can’t seem to be rid of each other.
Not so plain and simple.
At first, Lisa saw this as fate. A sign that they’re meant to be together. A window of opportunity to spend as much time with Jennie as she can, and try to make nice.
Now, three years later, Jennie hates her probably more than she ever has.
This is confirmed by the look on Jennie’s face when Lisa climbs next to her into the backseat of Jisoo’s car.
She is beautiful, breathtaking even, but Lisa can’t bring herself to like it when Jennie looks at her as if she’s something nasty and brown stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
“Hey, Lisa!” Jisoo chirps. “Ready for the game?” she doesn’t let Lisa answer before saying, “It’ll be so fun!”
Lisa’s not sure whether Jisoo’s ever sounded this enthusiastic about anything before. She guesses it’s probably for she and Jennie’s sake.
Rosie gives her a timid, apologetic smile over her shoulder. Lisa bets Rosie did her best to talk Jisoo out of this one, but it obviously didn’t work, and now, here they are, driving to have a last-minute outing that Jennie is obviously not happy about in the least.
Honestly? Lisa appreciates Jisoo’s efforts to set them up. Jisoo is the only person who knows Lisa’s true feelings for Jennie, and she does her best to change Jennie’s feelings. But, at this point, even she can see that all of this…it’s pointless.
Jennie will never stop hating her.
“Just for the record,” Jennie says lowly, “they dragged me in here. I did not want to do this.”
Lisa looks at Jennie, and it’s easy when she leans back, raises her eyebrow, and smiles that smile she knows Jennie hates so much. “Aw, Princess. You didn’t want to spend quality time with me?” she puts a hand over her heart and has to pretend to care less than she really does when she says, “I’m hurt.”
Jennie clenches her jaw, and all Lisa can think of is how she really shouldn’t be turned on by that, but she is.
“If you try anything while we’re there, Lisa, I swear to god…” Jennie says lowly, probably thinking about the time Lisa ‘accidentally’ spilled her drink on her while they were shopping (so that Lisa could have an excuse to be chivalrous while wiping the spill off), or the time she
‘accidentally’ bumped into Jennie and made her fall to the floor and drop all her stuff (so that Lisa could pick up her books for her and help her back up again).
Yeah, she really needs better flirting methods.
“When have I ever tried anything?” Lisa asks, grinning. Maybe, maybe, it is pretty fun to mess with Jennie now and then. She does wish that they weren’t rivals, but a riled Jennie is a cute Jennie and Lisa would be stupid to not take advantage of the situation.
“Guys.” Jennie addresses the front seats of the car, but keeps her eyes on Lisa, as if afraid she’ll jump-scare her as soon as she turns her back. “The tickets aren’t assigned seating, right?”
“Um…” Rosie takes the four tickets out of her pocket and inspects them. “Yeah, they are.”
“The place gets super packed this time of year, so they have really strict seating schedules,” Jisoo explains from the front seat.
Lisa thinks she knows where this is going.
“What are the seating arrangements?” Jennie asks, still not daring to look away from Lisa, and the eye contact is going to burn a hole right through her.
There’s silence from the front seats.
“Guys,” Jennie says a little more sternly, but also with an edge of fear. “Don’t tell me…”
“You and Lisa are seated beside each other, Jen,” Rosie says carefully, probably scared for her life. Jisoo is smiling devilishly in the driver’s seat. “And then I’m next to Lisa, and Jisoo’s next to me.” She clears her throat.
Finally, Jennie looks away, eyes wide. “What?”
Rosie puts her hands up. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.”
“You did this on purpose,” Jennie says to Jisoo, an accusing look in her eyes. “I’m not sitting by her. I refuse.”
“You don’t have another choice.” Even to Lisa’s eyes, Jisoo looks downright evil. “Like I said, they have very strict seating arrangements.”
This would be a great plan to get Lisa and Jennie to make amends, if only it didn’t make Jennie so damn mad. That always seems to be the problem with Jisoo’s ‘Jenlisa’ plans.
“I’m not going, then.” Jennie crosses her arms, cheeks tinged pink with anger, and it takes all of Lisa’s self-control to keep from reaching out and squishing them. “If I have to sit next to her, then I’m not going.”
“Okay. Sure. You can try to get away, but last I checked it’s the three of us against the one of you, and you weigh, what? Ten pounds?”
“What are you saying? You can’t manhandle me in there. That’s…that’s kidnapping!” Jennie glares over at Lisa, who feels like that’s undeserved because she’s been minding her own business this whole time. “I’m not going. That’s that. You can’t make me.”
Ten minutes later, the three of them wrestle a screaming Jennie into the arena.
Somehow, they got past security and ticket check relatively easily. They even managed to get her in the elevator that
took them to the basketball court.
The hard part is dragging her through the maze of what must be hundreds of seats in the loud, sweat-smelling basketball court. Jisoo has one of her arms, Rosie has the other, and Lisa is leading them down aisles and up bleacher steps while Jennie wriggles and lifts her feet up and makes a fuss.
Luckily, Lisa is able to find their seats quickly and they get seated, although Lisa is tasked with holding Jennie down and she’s not sure she can do that without getting bitten. (And not in the good way that she sometimes dreams about.)
Just as she’s about to put a hand on Jennie’s shoulder, though, Jennie sends her an icy glare and hisses, “Don’t even think about it.”
Who is Lisa to argue? She doesn’t feel like being dumped in a dark alleyway tonight.
“She has to make sure you don’t escape, Jen,” Jisoo calls from her seat.
“I won’t leave,” Jennie grumbles, just loud enough for Lisa to hear. Then, a bit louder so it reaches Rosie and Jisoo, “This is definitely illegal, by the way.”
“We gotta do what we gotta do.”
And then Jisoo and Rosie start chatting happily, but Jennie pulls out her phone to look at and Lisa not-so-discreetly stares at Jennie, wondering how someone could have such a perfect jawline.
Jennie looks up and catches Lisa staring. “What?”
Lisa tries to fix her face. She’s sure she did not look annoyed or hateful just now. “Nothing.”
“You were staring.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Creep.”
“Shh, the game’s starting, Princess.”
“You don’t have to be quiet for basketball games.”
Lisa ignores her, staring resolutely ahead, trying to ignore the heat crawling up her neck. Jennie’s never caught her staring before until now. That’s so embarrassing.
Luckily, she doesn’t have to think about it much more, too distracted by the game. For half an hour, she and Rosie jump out of their seats, scream at the court, and explain to Jisoo what’s going on, while Jennie sits silently on her phone.
Lisa does glance at her once, and she thinks she catches the tiniest blush on her cheeks, but she’s sure it must be her imagination.
At halftime, Jisoo stands from her seat. “I’m hungry.”
Rosie stands, too. “Let’s go get some snacks.”
They sound oddly like they’re reading off a script, but Lisa ignores it and goes to follow them—
—then gets pushed right back into her seat. Rosie is staring at her somewhat apologetically, and Jisoo takes her girlfriend’s hand. “No, you stay here with Jennie.”
This makes Jennie look up from her phone, and she and Lisa both say, “What?”
“We need to make sure she doesn’t run off.” Jisoo tugs on Rosie’s hand. “We’ll get you both something. Sit tight!”
And then, they’re gone.
Jennie huffs and stands from her seat. Lisa isn’t even trying to annoy her when she asks, “Where are you going?”
“Where do you think? I’m leaving.”
Maybe it’s the gay gods, or maybe it’s Lisa being a dumbass, but something makes her take Jennie’s wrist.
And that’s not even the strangest thing. The strangest thing is the fact that Jennie doesn’t pull away.
So they stay like that for a very long moment, sort of just staring at each other, and Lisa feels frozen but she knows she has to let go so she does, averting her eyes once she lets her hand drop. “Sorry. Just—Jisoo wants you to stay. She paid a lot of money for the tickets.”
Lisa’s not sure whether Jisoo did, in fact, pay a lot of money for the tickets, but she does know that she wants Jennie to stay. Even after whatever weird almost-hand-holding just went on, she still wants Jennie to stay.
That’s all she’s ever wanted, really. And she could never make it work.
But this time, she does, apparently, because Jennie slowly retakes her seat beside Lisa, not saying anything. Not even snapping at her for touching her.
It’s risky, but Lisa chances a side-eye to Jennie. Jennie’s staring down at her lap, and Lisa sees it again—the faint blush on her cheeks.
Then, without any sort of warning, Jennie says, “Do you remember that time we had a picnic out by my parents’ lake?” she’s speaking so quietly, Lisa has to strain to hear her, but she does. “We made daisy crowns and drank chocolate milk. You remember that, don’t you?”
…Something very strange is going on here.
Lisa doesn’t know what to make of this, so she answers on autopilot. “Yeah, I remember.”
Her brain catches up to her just enough to think about the day Jennie’s talking about. They were very young, after they had become best friends but before they knew how to be petty.
Jennie’s mother packed a lunch for them, and took them down by the lake. It wasn’t a huge lake, but to Lisa, is was as expansive as the sea. She and Jennie played in the grass fields nearby, and Jennie’s mother taught them how to make daisy crowns.
Lisa hasn’t thought about that day in a very long time. Looking back now, it’s only a hazy memory, faint laughter and Jennie’s eyes and dancing, everything faded at the corners and tinted rose-gold.
Jennie’s looking at her now, with the softest smile playing on her face, which startles Lisa because Jennie hasn’t looked at her with anything but hatred in a very long time.
“That was a good day.” Even when Lisa makes eye-contact, Jennie doesn’t look away. “I think about it a lot.”
Now, that comes a surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Jennie’s smile fades away. “I do.”
Why on earth does she look so…sad? Has Lisa said something wrong?
She opens her mouth to make fun of Jennie for being a sap, maybe, or tell her that that was a long time ago and there’s no reason to hold on to it anymore. What comes out instead, is the question she often finds herself asking Jennie: “Why do you hate me so much?”
Just like that, the emotion is gone from Jennie’s expression, and her eyes sharpen. “Don’t ask me that. You know I hate it when you ask me that.”
“I know you do.” But, she has never gotten an answer and this is something she feels she needs to know. “I want you to tell me.”
“Don’t do that to me, Lisa. It’s cruel, even for you.”
She hates it when Jennie speaks in riddles like this. “I don’t know what you mean by that, Jennie. You always say shit like that, but I don’t know what you mean.”
Jennie looks away, out onto the court. Halftime is over, but Jisoo and Rosie are still gone and the game is the last thing Lisa’s paying attention to. “Is it actually because of Mina?”
Jennie winces, almost imperceptibly, but Lisa catches it. She knows she’s hit something there. “Jennie, I know that that was messed up of me to do, but I apologized to you afterwards, didn’t I? And, I mean, we were kids. Is some girl really something to ruin our entire friendship over?”
Jennie looks at her, then. “You really don’t know, do you?”
Lisa shakes her head in earnest. She has got not one clue, and that’s what she keeps telling Jennie, over and over.
“It’s not about Mina,” Jennie says. It’s so strange hearing her speak this quietly. “It’s about what happened after.”
What happened after…
Lisa ran after Jennie. She tried to apologize. They fought. It started raining, and Lisa…
Of course Lisa remembers what happened then. But she has spent the past five years trying to forget it.
“Why would that…why would that matter to you?”
“Why would it matter?” Jennie asks, and she doesn’t exactly look angry, but she’s bordering on it. “How could you even ask me that?”
Okay, that was a stupid question. Of course something like that would matter to Jennie.
It’s not exactly a casual thing when your best friend of fifteen years confesses their undying love for you.
“Okay.” Lisa puts her hands up. “Maybe that wasn’t the best time for me to…tell you all that.” She searches Jennie’s eyes, but they’re unreadable. “But why would it make you hate me so much? I get why it would make things weird between us for awhile, or maybe it would make you mad because I just kissed the girl you liked and then told you I had a crush on you. But, come on, Jennie, that doesn’t warrant…all this.”
Jennie chews on her lip. That’s an old habit, one Lisa had thought she’d broken way back in middle school. She almost reaches up to make her stop, like she used to, but she doesn’t.
After a heavy silence, Jennie says, “It wasn’t your fault.”
That is definitely news.
“I mean, it was. You kissing Mina made me realize…and then you said all that…and I just.” Jennie looks at her a bit hopelessly. “I couldn’t deal with it.”
Lisa got absolutely none of that, so, more gently than she’s spoken to Jennie in awhile, she says, “Sorry?”
Jennie puts her head in her hands. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”
“This is a good thing, Jennie.” Lisa truly believes that. Whatever Jennie is trying to tell her, it can’t be bad. Who knows? Maybe after this, they’ll be able to move forward. They can become friends again.
Lisa prays she’s not getting her hopes up.
“It probably is. Healthy for us, and all that, I don’t know.” Jennie peeks at her from between her fingers, and it’s the cutest thing Lisa’s ever seen. “But it’s…hard. And, god, it’s super embarrassing.”
“Jennie, I literally kissed the girl you liked and then confessed my love to you directly afterwards. Nothing can be more embarrassing than that.”
“This is. Trust me.”
“Try me.”
Jennie’s body heaves with a deep breath, and then she straightens up, doing her best to look Lisa in the eyes. “Okay. Here it goes.” She gnaws at her lip again, and this time, Lisa doesn’t stop herself from thumbing Jennie’s chin, the action so familiar and foreign at the same time. It seems to startle Jennie into talking.
“When I saw you kissing Mina…” Lisa drops her hand from Jennie’s chin, giving her space to speak. “I was really, really mad at you.”
Well, that’s a bit obvious. Lisa thinks she’d be mad if she caught her friend knowingly kissing someone she had her eyes on, too.
“But I was also jealous.”
Lisa nods in understanding. “That was sort of my goal, to make you jealous. I was…” she was a bitch. That’s what she was. “I wanted to hurt you. I guess I wanted you to feel the way you always made me feel whenever you liked someone else.”
“No,” Jennie says, looking like she’s having an extremely hard time saying what she wants to. “I wasn’t jealous because you were kissing the girl I liked. I was jealous because…”
She doesn’t finish her sentence, but Lisa thinks she might get it. She’s just too scared to say it out loud, much like Jennie seems to be.
But, they’re having this conversation. They’ve already decided to throw caution to the wind. So, she swallows thickly and says, “You we’re jealous because someone else was kissing me.”
The only indication that Lisa’s hit the mark is the way Jennie stares down at her lap, face red, hands wringing together.
Lisa tries to process the new information, but her brain rejects it, so she tries again, and then her brain just stops working altogether. She doesn’t know what to make of this. What it means.
Luckily, Jennie seems willing to talk again. “You kissing Mina made me realize that I had feelings for you.” As soon as she says it, the plain and simple truth, her shoulders sag. “I never thought I’d tell you that, but it feels really good to say. I’ve never told anyone that before.”
I had feelings for you.
How is Lisa supposed to respond to this?
“Then, as I was having my whole crisis about you, you came out and told me how you felt and I got…God, I got so scared.” Jennie’s speaking openly now, her words flowing as if they’ve been on the tip of her tongue for a long time. “I got so scared of what that meant for us. I got scared because I didn’t even know exactly how I felt yet and I didn’t know what to tell you. And if I had figured out my feelings then and there, and been brave enough to tell you, what would have happened then? Would we have dated, or something?”
It’s a good question, but one that Lisa definitely won’t be able to answer. Not while she’s imagining all of her own what-ifs.
“Lisa, we were best friends, but at that point, our relationship was really weird already. I think all the pent-up feelings on both sides caused all that animosity and…were we just supposed to forget it all? All the shit we’d done to each other?”
“I don’t know,” Lisa mutters. She doesn’t. She hasn’t got a clue what would have happened.
But she does know, “I would have rather we figured our shit out then, than what happened to us in the long run.” She almost takes hold of Jennie’s clasped hands, but now isn’t the time. “I understand why you would get scared, Jennie, but if you had just told me how you felt—“
“Lisa.”
“No, let me talk. You could have gone home, ghosted me for however long you needed to sort through your feel—“
“Lisa.”
“Jennie, I’m serious. Listen to me. You could have—“
“Lisa!” Jennie’s eyes are wide and panicked, and completely focused on something over Lisa’s shoulder.
Confused, Lisa turns to see what Jennie’s looking at. And when she does, her mouth drops open.
They’re on the Kiss Cam, and everyone is looking at them, giggling and oohing.
Lisa laughs nervously and shakes her head, which Jennie follows. The announcer says something in a disappointed tone over the speakers, but the Cam moves away from them.
“God,” Lisa breathes. “That was bad timing.”
“No, yeah,” Jennie says, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Um, what were you saying?”
The bubble they’d created before has been officially popped, but Lisa is still determined. “Right. I was saying—I wish you had taken some time from me to sort through your feelings, and then come back to me when you were ready.”
“Yeah, but,” Jennie’s focused back on her again, “that’s a lot easier said than done. The thought of telling you how I felt was terrifying.”
“You think I don’t know that feeling? I told you how I felt, too. Of course it was scary, but you already knew how I felt. Were you scared of rejection?”
“I don’t kn…Oh, my god.”
Lisa furrows her eyebrows. “What?”
Jennie hides her face in her hands. Lisa unwillingly looks at the huge screen across the stadium, and there they are again. On the fucking Kiss Cam.
She wants to flip them off, tell them that they’re obviously having a very serious conversation here, that they’re finally making progress in their messed-up relationship, but all she does is channel her inner customer service worker and smile politely, shaking her head and waving her hand back and forth.
The crowd boo’s and groans, but the Cam pans away from them once again.
“That’s so weird,” Lisa says once their off-camera. “And annoying. Jeez, we’re finally having a civil conversation without biting each other’s heads off and they’re trying to get us to kiss?”
Jennie blushes a bit. That’s the third time she’s blushed in the past hour. That’s weird, right?
“Okay, um.” Jennie clears her throat. “Right. Well, I don’t think I was scared of rejection. Like I said, I was scared of where we would go from there if I told you how I felt.”
“I get that, but we could have figured that out together. Some awkwardness and new territory wouldn’t have been that bad.”
“Well, no, I guess not…”
“It wouldn’t have been as bad as growing apart and then coming to hate each other.” Lisa tries her best to keep any venom out of her voice. “Right?”
It looks hard for her to do, but Jennie gives a little nod. “Yeah. I mean, some of the dislike came from the shit you’ve done to me in the past, when we were still friends.” Lisa scratches the back of her neck sheepishly at that. “But most of it was just…I hated myself for letting us grow apart. You were there, you were annoying enough, so you were an easy target to project my self-loathing onto.” It’s Jennie’s turn to look sheepish now, and it’s really damn cute on her. “I need healthier ways of coping, I think.”
Lisa chuckles, which feels strange to be doing around Jennie again, but she doesn’t fight it. “We both do.”
“And, Lisa…” Jennie sounds nervous again. “I think…how I felt back then, it got buried by a lot of other bad feelings towards you, but I don’t know if my feelings ever…” she clears her throat, avoids Lisa’s eyes, and whispers, “left.”
Lisa doesn’t get a chance to react or process or even really think about what that means, though, because someone nudges her on the shoulder and when she goes to glare at them, she catches her own eye in the giant screen across from her.
The goddamn Kiss Cam.
People are cheering, yelling things like ‘Come on!’ and ‘Just do it!’ and Lisa is actually so annoyed, so sick of this little game that whoever’s in charge of this is playing, that she stands up, causing the stadium to go quieter than it’s been the entire game, and yells, “Jesus Christ! You all want to see us kiss? You goddamn perverts? Then, fine!” and then she pulls a shocked-looking Jennie to stand in front of her.
She doesn’t think it through until she’s looking into Jennie’s eyes, holding onto her upper arms, and realizing this might not be a good idea.
Quickly, she whispers, “Is this okay?”
Jennie nods, maybe a little too quickly. “Gotta give the people what they want.”
That’s all Lisa needs. With every ounce of courage she has, she surges forward, bridging the gap between them, and presses her lips softly against Jennie’s.
Her heart sings.
The raging crowd around them, the game going on below them, the announcer yelling something above them—all of it fades away and zeroes in on Jennie, pressed so close to her. So much closer than she ever allowed herself to hope for.
Their noses brush against one another, and Jennie’s hands hold onto her waist, tightly, like she doesn’t want to be letting go anytime soon.
In Lisa’s mind, she sees her four-year-old self, dancing in a field of flowers beside a blue lake, and she sees her ten-year-old self, hugging a small body close to hers and saying I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry over and over again, and she sees her fifteen-year-old self, looking into sad feline eyes and confessing her love as rain soaks through her skin, chilling her bones.
And she sees every version of herself that has ever loved Jennie, and they have been through a lot but they still grin at her now, as if to say Look at how far we’ve come.
Jennie pulls away from the kiss first, breathing heavily, pulling Lisa closer and nudging her nose against her cheek, sending sparks through Lisa’s entire body, right down to the tips of her toes.
Lisa opens her eyes, and for once she isn’t scared about what she’s going to see. Because when she looks at those brown eyes already staring back at her, she knows, everything will be okay as long as she can have this.
“You know, Princess,” Lisa whispers, paying no mind to the raucous cheering and shouting around them, “my feelings never left, either.”
---------------------
Jisoo Kim often finds herself questioning Roseanne Park’s judgement.
Because, as much as Jisoo loves her, she knows that Rosie didn’t have much faith in her. She thought this plan would never work.
But as Jisoo slips her twenty to the cameraman Rosie called earlier, she knows that this worked out perfectly.
Rosie can see the smugness on Jisoo’s face before she even opens her mouth. “Don’t tell me you told me so.”
“Well, I did, didn’t I?” Jisoo slings an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders.
“I honestly have no idea how that worked.”
“You need to have a little more faith in me, babe.”
“I don’t know…one out of your, like, hundred other plans worked. That doesn’t seem like a great success rate.”
But Jisoo isn’t listening, instead pondering something as they head up to their seats. “Hey, maybe I should open a matchmaking company!”
“Jisoo, no.”
“I’ll call it…”
Rosie groans. “Jisoo.”
“Ah, Kim’s Kisses!”
“Jisoo, no!”