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These moments were the ones Ed liked the most: the serene feeling of driving down some unfamiliar country road with the top down, wind blowing through his hair, blasting Prince, only his own singing voice to keep him company.
He had fought tooth and nail to be allowed to do this; Izzy had argued that they should just pack the car up and have someone drive it along with them in a truck on the way to their next location until Ed - very logically - pointed out that was a fucking waste of money and there was no good reason he couldn’t just drive the car himself. It was his fucking car anyway, this is what he bought it for, not…showboating it around like some kind of plundered prize.
Ed claimed the only reason he wanted to drive the car between locations was to save money, but the reality was, he just wanted some god damned alone time without Izzy’s voice (among others) chirping in his ear. This had all started because he loved traveling around the country and discovering new places, but all of the rules and regulations had been taking the fun out of that for him. His time in the car was his to enjoy, though. No one on the team even dared to call him because they didn’t want to be responsible for him getting in a wreck.
The headlines would be dreadful: “Beloved Restaurateur and Host of Blackbeard’s Best Bites Edward Teach Dead At 47 Because Production Manager Can’t Leave Him Alone for Two Fucking Hours”. Unspeakable.
As he got closer to their location, he thought he could get used to a place like this. It was just on the outskirts of the city - close enough to have all of the perks of city life with the option to stay the fuck away and get some peace and quiet if you wanted. However, this was far from the first time he’d had a thought like this. If anything, the thoughts were becoming more frequent. The filming schedule was aggressive and he was getting tired of feeling like a ship sailing around with no anchor. At one point in his life, that kind of reckless abandon was a delight; it was freedom. Now, it felt like he was running - and from what, he didn’t fucking know. It wasn’t the towns that were appealing, it was the idea of having something drawing him back at the end of each shoot, calling him like a beacon, like…a lighthouse, signaling “come home; I’m here”.
He had always avoided these metaphorical lighthouses before for fear of cracking up on the rocks and losing his mojo so to speak, but lately he realized that they didn’t signal destruction, they signaled a chance for mooring…finally coming to shore after a long and tiring journey.
Okay, yeah, so maybe mental spirals like these were the exact reason Izzy didn’t want him driving alone between locations.
He pulled into the driveway of the hotel they would be staying at so the crew could drop their shit off, regroup, and get marching orders for who needed to be where and when. It was all such a fucking process and Ed didn’t have the patience or attention span for any of it. He’d heard that there were rumors among the crew (and therefore, the world) that he could be a bit distant and cold-hearted since he tried to avoid as much of the annoying bits as possible, but he tried his best to make it up to them and show people he wasn’t that.
He had a feeling it wasn’t fucking working.
Whatever, let them talk. It didn’t matter. None of this fucking mattered.
Which is why he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so on edge about this meeting with Izzy to talk about the restaurant they’d be visiting tomorrow.
No, he was absolutely sure why, and it was because Izzy had been vehemently opposed to coming here and Ed used his “I’m the star and if I say we’re going, we’re fucking going” power (which he could only use about 3 times a season) to get it on the list. It was everything Izzy hated and everything Ed loved.
“Place like this’ll get bad ratings and have complaints coming in left and right,” Izzy had said.
“How often do we see someone doing something original out here? We’ll get bad ratings if we keep showing them the same shit over and over again.” Ed had argued.
This place, The Revenge (or something else equally ominous, he couldn’t remember) was exactly the kind of place he’d wanted to highlight when he started this show: Funky little local joints making a difference in their community that deserved far more fucking support than they had. From what he’d read about the place in their meetings, it was fucking fascinating. They called it a ‘ gastro cafe’ for starters which was pretentious in a fun way and the owner had opened it with absolutely no restaurant background to provide a “Non-Drinking Centric Queer Safe Space for All Ages” because he was frustrated that so many Queer spaces in his city seemed to focus on alcohol rather than community and were therefore not truly safe spaces for everyone.
Ed was instantly sold. Some of his biggest supporters were fellow LGBTQIA+ folks so having this restaurant (no - gastro cafe ) on his show could really make a difference in getting the word out to people in the area who needed it. It was as brilliant as it was insane, the kind of place the world needed more of. Ed hoped that giving them some air time would help inspire other people to make places like it across the globe.
If it didn’t totally suck.
Ed had gotten really good at hyping up restaurants even when he didn’t like them - he was not in the business of roasting small business owners on national television - no, he was going to hype the hell out of The Revenge no matter what and pull out all of the tricks in his book to do so.
“I just don’t understand what you see in this place, Edward.”
Izzy’s voice snapped him out of his reverie.
“Let me get this right: he’s a queer man with a queer-focused gastro cafe that serves as an all ages gathering space for his community?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking fascinating.”
“Edward, I highly advise we back out of this. There’s still time, we can say that something came up and we have to cancel. The team has already scouted several other locations around the city-”
“I don’t want to go to several other locations around the city,” Ed replied calmly.
Izzy sighed.
“This is a fucking waste of everyone’s fucking time.”
Ed felt fire fill up inside him. Izzy had been becoming increasingly testy (to put it lightly) and insubordinate, questioning him at every move. They’d been working together for years and it was like he suddenly didn’t trust him.
“I think you’ve forgotten who's in charge here, mate. I’m the star and the fucking EP. If I say we’re going, we’re going. Okay?”
“...Fine.”
“Good man,” Ed complimented, slapping a hand on Izzy’s shoulder before heading out the door.
Ed couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so excited to get to their location for the day. His team was getting him ready for the shoot and he was practically vibrating out of the makeup chair in excitement. He had spent all night (and morning) reading over the information they’d prepared for him about the location so he had essential background and talking points in mind. He was giggling the whole way through it. The whole thing sounded so fucking delightful - the kind of space he wished he’d had as a kid, hell, even now.
They tried to keep the briefings sparse so Ed could find out as much as possible in the heat of the moment so the conversation between himself and the restaurant owner could flow more freely, but even just the highlights were incredible. He needed to know everything about this man. About this restaurant.
“Most popular dish is 40 Orange Glaze Cake, recipe developed for the restaurant by Head Chef Roche.”
“Makes regular donations to other Queer organizations around the city”
“Owner inspired to open restaurant after teenage daughter came out and he wanted a place to take her to connect with her community and learn more about it.”
Izzy was an absolute idiot if he thought this episode was going to flop. Without even meeting this guy, he could tell that the audience was going to be head over heels in love with him.
Ed rushed his way through the stupid intro shot of him in his car driving up to the restaurant, just wanting to get it fucking over with and pissed when they made him do 5 more takes “for safety”.
Ed sulked in his trailer as he waited to be called to set while the crew filmed interior shots of the decor and happy patrons without him. This was normally his least favorite part of the day - he was content to sit it out and play stupid games on his phone. But today, he wanted to be there for all of it and he secretly felt a bit jealous of the crew that had already gotten to go inside. He practically leapt out of his seat when there was a knock at the door to tell him it was time.
He waited in his place in the dining area where they would be doing the “meet the owner” shot, bouncing his weight from toe to toe a bit to try to shake out some of his nervous energy so he didn’t look as unhinged as he felt on screen or freak out this restaurant owner guy. He was known for being friendly and funny on the show, not for being more excited than a kid in line to meet their favorite Disney character.
Then he turned around and saw the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen being ushered towards him by one of the PAs.
Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
Oh shitting fuck.
This could not be the owner.
He had prepared himself to like the guy and enthusiastically shove his food in his mouth, not to immediately go nuts for him and enthusiastically shove his-
“Ed! This is-” Izzy started.
“Stede Bonnet,” Ed finished, feeling dazed.
“You’ve heard of me?” He replied in utter disbelief, his face practically stricken.
Fucking adorable. Oh no. No, he was not swooning over the (possibly straight and taken) owner of this absolutely fuck off charming restaurant.
“Oh I’ve heard of you. I’ve heard all about you,” Ed answered with an unnecessarily heated tone to his voice. He cleared his throat, realizing how fucking stupid he sounded, “I uh - get paperwork before the shoot telling me about where we’re going.”
Stede couldn’t stop grinning, which meant that Ed couldn’t stop staring, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to be very disruptive of production the entire day. He needed to keep it together, professional…he could do this.
Stede was still staring at him expectantly when he realized he hadn’t introduced himself. Probably looked like a right dick, assuming people knew who he was.
“I’m Ed, by the way. Ed Teach,” he said, extending his hand to Stede to shake.
Stede’s (stupidly soft) hand grabbed his and supplied the most firm, grounding handshake he had ever had in his life - and that was saying something, he worked with Entertainment bigwigs who took entire seminars on how to communicate through handshakes . He slowly slipped his hand away from Stede, shivering at the brush of their fingertips against each other.
Stede panicked.
“Oh - are you cold? I can have them adjust the therm-”
“Nah, mate, not cold. Besides, we’ll be back in the kitchen soon enough where things are sure to heat up.”
It was out of his mouth before he had time to think about how it sounded. This couldn’t be happening. He was normally cool as shit, why was he acting like this? He had a fucking reputation to uphold! He was the elusive, edgy, tv food guy for christ’s sake, he could not be seen making heart eyes at the subject of one of their episodes.
“I have to admit, I’m a bit nervous,” Stede confessed, seeming to miss Ed’s Freudian slip entirely. The poor guy looked truly, deeply, anxious, wringing his hands in front of him, “When my assistant submitted us for the show, I thought there wasn’t a chance in hell we’d get picked. What we’re doing is so…niche. But here you are, in the flesh!”
Stede gestured broadly towards him and Ed fought back the urge to make a comment about where exactly he’d like his flesh to be.
“Here I am,” Ed replied lamely instead, “Let me guess - this your first time on tv?”
Stede nodded. “But I have a myriad of stage credits.”
“Course you do,” Ed answered as if that wasn’t the cutest possible response to that question, as if he was about to ask Stede for his fucking resume and a 1 minute dramatic monologue or something.
“So the main thing about today is showcasing you, which sounds scary as fuck, but that’s why I’m here: I’ll help guide you along to make sure we’re getting the good stuff that’s really gonna make you shine in the episode. The key is to think of it as a conversation. We’re just two guys having a chat about stuff that interests us, yeah? No biggie.”
“No biggie,” Stede repeated, sounding like he was mustering up the courage.
“This first shot here is one of the weirder ones, it feels more forced. We’re gonna have to act like we’re meeting for the first time. And they’re probably gonna have us do it a few times. And yes, you’ll have to talk about yourself, but it’s just like any elevator pitch you’d give to potential investors.”
“Oh, I don’t have investors,” Stede told him, “But I have made plenty of pitches before in my old job. Not often in an elevator, but pitches nonetheless.”
Ed laughed and a grin spread across Stede’s face.
“You’re a menace.”
“A little bit.”
Before they knew it, they were filming the intro.
“Alright everyone, I have the honor of introducing you to the one, the only, Stede Bonnet,” Ed started.
“I am he,” Stede replied with an affect to his voice and a little half bow. A fucking half bow .
Ed was so charmed that he started to laugh. The director yelled cut.
“What did I do?” Stede asked, eyes wide.
“Gonna have to be about 10 times more natural than that, mate.”
“Right. Natural. Got it!”
They started take 2.
“And who do we have here, folks? None other than the owner of The Revenge, Stede Bonnet!”
“Hi all!” Stede answered brightly, waving directly into the camera.
The director yelled cut again.
“Again?” Stede asked incredulously.
“Just…say what you would in real life if you were meeting someone.”
“He would say that in real life if he was meeting someone, I’ve been there, he’s done it,” a sarcastic voice shouted from across the room at the host stand.
“Seriously?” Ed asked.
“Yes,” Stede nodded, a bit embarrassed.
Ed suddenly felt supremely guilty for making this guy feel like his natural response to things was laughable. It wasn’t. It was…endearing. He was so odd, but in a charming way. If this was the real Stede Bonnet and not just camera shy Stede Bonnet, the audiences were going to eat him up…Ed was, too.
“Well then that’s perfect,” Ed said a bit louder so the crew could hear him, putting an arm around Stede’s back and patting him reassuringly. That might have been the wrong idea because he felt Stede tense up beneath him. Ed shot daggers at the crew but kept his tone friendly enough that Stede would be none the wiser to the fact that he was basically threatening them into behaving. “We want the takes where you feel the most you,”
Stede looked up at him, his eyes bright.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Don’t hold back, you hear me?”
“Clear as day,” Stede replied, looking like he was starting to get excited.
They went in for take 3.
“I’m here with the man of the hour, the brains behind this incredible operation - Stede Bonnet.”
“Hi all!” Stede repeated, looking over at Ed excitedly like he was asking for approval.
A smile slowly crept across Ed’s face, but he kept going.
“Stede, can you tell me a bit about what makes The Revenge so special?”
Something in Stede lit up at this knowing he could talk about something he was passionate about instead of just himself.
“Well, The Revenge is really a love letter to the local Queer community, but most importantly, to my incredible daughter Alma.”
“A love letter, you say? How so?”
“A few years ago, when she started high school, Alma came up to her mother and I and told us she was a lesbian and was thinking of asking a girl from her school to her next dance. I was so proud of her for telling us - so thrilled - and I wanted to be able to support her, show her how much I cared and was committed to being an ‘informed ally’,” Stede said with a wink and dramatic air quotes, “And I wanted to be a part of helping her find her community, but her school didn’t have any kind of GSA and the large majority of Queer spaces in this city were 21+ clubs. Not exactly the kind of place for a daddy-daughter brunch.”
Ed just let Stede keep going, half because he was genuinely intrigued by the story, half because the story was so much of what made The Revenge special.
“That didn’t sit right with me. So I quit my job and immediately looked into what it would take to open a restaurant, and made it happen. For her. For us. For all of us,” Stede said, gesturing around to the tables of people.
“Ah, but it’s not a restaurant, is it,” Ed teased, “It’s a-”
“ Gastro cafe, yes!” Stede exclaimed. “I wanted to make it clear that people could come here to eat a meal or to casually spend time, like you might at a cafe. I didn’t want people to feel like they had to pay for access to the community. So, in addition to the restaurant portion, we have a full service cafe complete with rooms for things like reading groups, open mics, and meetings.”
“That’s incredible, Stede. It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on here. How do you do it?”
“Well, I couldn’t do any of this if it weren’t for my incredible crew. I had the idea, I have some business sense, but everyone else…they’re the real stars. I just give orders,” Stede joked.
“What’s been one of the biggest things you’ve learned since opening The Revenge? It’s a pretty bold, unique concept after all.”
Stede blushed. He fucking blushed and Ed bit back a giggle.
“Well, I suppose the biggest thing I’ve learned is that I’m gay,” Stede answered simply.
If Ed had had a drink, this would have been a spit take.
“Yeah, that’s a pretty big thing to learn.”
“And that’s exactly why spaces like this are so important - to help people learn about themselves, to see other people like them living happily…to change their life.”
Stede was getting a bit teary eyed at that.
“Ain’t that the truth,” Ed agreed, trying to keep his tone far more casual than he felt,”And you’re clearly helping to change a lot of lives here other than your own.”
The director called cut. Probably thought that would be a good place to break and place some shots of the patrons talking about how much they love it here.
Ed looked over at Stede who seemed like he was about to spill over with emotion.
“Hey, hey hey - you good? I know that was a lot.”
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Stede assured him, “I just can’t believe...not even 3 years ago I didn’t even know I was gay, and here I am today, announcing it on camera!”
Stede’s laugh this time was a teary sort of thing.
“You know that’s incredible, right? You should be really fucking proud.”
“Oh, I think I’m plenty proud,” Stede quipped, indicating all of the various flags and rainbow decor across the room.
Ed laughed.
“Okay, yeah, about being gay, I get that, but I mean you should be proud of you . And what you’ve done. I mean…abandoning your old life to run off and open a restaurant so you can help your daughter? That’s...Stede, that’s next level.”
“Well no one wants to turn on their TV and see an old man crying about realizing he was gay too late.”
“Hold up - first, if you’re old, I’m old. Second - there’s no such thing as realizing you’re gay too late. Everyone figures it out in their own time.”
“But I feel like - I mean, I have an ex-wife and kids, I’m listing towards 50, it all feels very...out of reach.”
Ed stared at Stede for a moment before deciding honesty was the best policy.
“Can I be real with you, Stede? You’re a fucking catch. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“You’re just trying to get me to stop crying for the sake of filming,” Stede deflected.
“No, I am saying that as one gay man to another. I know what I’m talking about,” Ed insisted.
Stede’s eyes went wide.
“You’re.. you’re gay?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I thought everyone knew that, it’s kind of my thing.”
“Well my thing for the past 17 years has been changing diapers and driving soccer vans, so I’m a bit culturally illiterate.”
“And you couldn’t tell by looking at me?!”
“I didn’t even know I was gay, how am I supposed to know when someone else is?!”
They both collapsed into laughter before Stede had a realization.
“Wait, you think I’m a catch?”
“Fuck yeah, I do, I have eyes.”
“You - oh. Well, that’s-”
“Are you two going to quit chattering so we can move along and wrap sometime before tomorrow morning?” Izzy shouted.
Stede looked back at Ed, his expression now a disgusted grimace.
“Ed, do you know that guy? He’s a complete asshole.”
“‘Fraid I do, but don’t worry, he’s all bark, no bite. It’s not you, he’s just kind of…like that.”
The day was going better than Ed could have even imagined. At one point, Fang and Ivan had summoned him over during setup and huddled around to show him playback of a shot with him and Stede chatting and laughing with a level of genuine conversationality that felt like the banter of two daytime talk show hosts rather than two complete strangers.
“This is the most open and available I’ve ever seen you,” Ivan remarked.
“It’s nice,” Fang agreed. “Keep doing whatever you’re doing and this may be our best episode yet!”
The two were sipping free iced coffees that had been hand delivered to them by the restaurant’s host between shots because they were “working so hard”.
So apparently you could pick someone up at a queer gastro cafe.
Ed felt an odd twinge in his stomach watching the playback. It wasn’t just about making a good episode; he wasn’t sure the last time he’d seen himself this happy period . Fang and Ivan and a lot of other long-time crew members were incredible friends, but the sweeping wave of gray that had been intensifying over his life these past few years had been making that harder to appreciate.
He watched Stede flitting around the restaurant since he had insisted on mingling with the patrons while the crew set up and couldn’t help but smile warmly as he watched him shaking hands and laughing and thanking people for being there today and for participating in the shoot. He seemed to be doing something that he really loved and made him happy.
Ed missed that feeling.
The next shot for the day was in the kitchen with Chef Roche where they would be walking the audience through a few signature dishes: an assortment of their top 3 tapas and their signature 40 orange glaze cake.
“Rolling!” The voices of the crew echoed around him.
“Action!”
“We’re here with the culinary mastermind behind The Revenge, Chef Roche, who has put together an insanely inventive menu here. Mind telling us a little about your thought process? I mean featuring a robust selection of international small plates at a restaurant like this is not your average choice.
“And we’re not your average restaurant,” Roche added with a shrug.
“Gastro cafe,” Stede corrected supportively.
“ Gastro cafe ,” Roche repeated with an affectionate eye roll.
“This place is all about community, right, and what says community more than shared plates? Cultures around the world all have the same idea: let’s make a style of dining that brings people together. It made sense.”
“But these aren’t just any tapas, are they?” Ed asked.
“Some of them are, we want things people are familiar with, but we also want to challenge people to go out of their comfort zones. We thought making bolder choices in their dining might help them find the courage to make bolder choices in other areas of their life.”
Ed nodded approvingly.
“One way we do that is by having a couple of core options they know they can get any time, but we also feature a rotating monthly menu to encourage people to come back.”
“Now that’s smart,” Ed said, directing the compliment to the camera, “How do you decide on the rotating menus? Is it seasonal or…”
“It’s whatever crazy things I dream up,” Roche answered with a laugh.
“Chef Roche here is a real innovator. He’s mastered as many cuisines as you can name and as many styles as you can think of. I don’t think he’s made a bad thing yet,” Stede added encouragingly.
“And I won’t.” Roche warned, holding his butcher's knife towards Stede jokingly.
He was joking, right?
“So what have you got for us today, chef?” Ed asked.
“We’ve got the classic Gambas al Ajillo from Spain,” Roche told him, motioning to each item as he named them, “An Agedashi Tofu for an Izakaya inspired vegetarian moment, and Pulpo a la Gallega.”
“Pulpo a la Gallega?” Ed exclaimed.
“Yes,” Roche answered with a grin.
Ed turned his attention to the camera in excitement.
“Now for those of you at home, Pulpo a la Gallega is a pretty popular octopus tapa that you’ll see on the menus in a lot of bigger cities, but a lot of places favor an escabeche option instead because Pulpo a la Gallega requires two things: incredible quality octopus that is prepared perfectly every time.”
“Which I do,” Roche told the camera with a confident smirk.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Ed joked.
Ed was used to having to fake his way through pretending like very mediocre food was good. His go to method was just naming all of the ingredients that were in it to say something, but people were starting to notice.
He did not have to pretend for one god damned second with Chef Roche’s food.
It was fucking incredible. Some of the best shit he’d gotten to try on this show in a while. He wanted 5 more orders of everything. He couldn’t hold back the sounds of absolute fucking delight he was experiencing, and he was almost positive he saw Stede blush and Izzy leave the room in a (silent, because they were filming) huff.
It was time to try the octopus and Ed dramatically held up a bite of tentacle on his fork.
“The moment of truth, folks.”
Stede looked like he was about to lift off into space from excitement but Roche was far more subdued - a bit smug, honestly. Ed loved confidence in a chef, but only when it was justified.
Ed took a bite.
And froze.
He looked at the two men next to him.
And he slowly slid the entire plate of octopus over towards himself.
Chef Roche and Stede both burst into laughter.
“Hey Chef,” Ed asked innocently as he lifted up the plate, not giving a fuck that it was meant for all three of them to share.
“Yes?”
“Have you ever been told that your food can make people see God?”
They all laughed again and Ed could see his crew stifling their own laughter in his peripherals.
“Let’s just say, the life of a chef isn’t a lonely one,” Roche replied with a wicked grin.
Ed nearly dropped his plate he was laughing so hard. When he composed himself, he turned to the camera.
“Everyone at home, I want you to listen very closely. If you come to The Revenge, I will personally pay for you to get this. I don’t care how many of you come here, in fact, the more the better -” Ed paused to grab another bite of the octopus with his fork and hold it out towards his camera. “Look at this. This is everything food ought to be. It’s perfect. If you don’t order it, you’re insane. Or you have a seafood allergy…or are vegan…but you get my point! It’s worth coming to this place for the food alone. Even if you aren’t queer - please come here to try this incredible food so they can use that money to do even more good. This is - holy crap, I’m getting emotional over a little octopus over here.”
“Wait until you try the cake,” Stede teased.
He was famous for being a sweets aficionado. He sometimes even highlighted restaurants that did desserts only because he said so - he would estimate that 80% of the restaurants he’d used his influence to get on the list were dessert focused or had some really insane dessert he wanted to try.
“You know I’m all about dessert,” Ed replied and Stede nodded adorably like he had been waiting for this moment. And maybe he had.
Absolutely mental, the man knows Ed loves sweets but doesn’t know he’s a raging homo.
“Now, I’m gonna ask you both a very serious question here,” he started, the other two leaning in with intense looks on their faces, eagerly joining in on the bit.
“This is an orange cake.”
“Yes,” Roche confirmed.
“Orange desserts are often very tart because people choose to highlight that instead of the sweetness.”
Roche weighed his options.
“A lot of the time.”
“Did you…,” Ed began, pausing for dramatic effect, “Remember to put sugar in this cake?”
They all laughed again.
“Every good chef knows a great dish requires balance. You have to find the harmony between the tart and the sweet.”
“Harmony,” Ed scoffed, “When I bake I just dump in as much sugar as possible.”
“I know,” Roche sassed.
“You come on my show, and you -” Ed fake yelled, pretending to be upset, wiping tears from his eyes he was laughing so hard, “No, for real, mate. I know my desserts can be a little much, but I have a sweet tooth. I admire chefs who are more…by the book.”
Roche pretended to clutch his pearls and they were all laughing again.
Ed felt like he was in a dream. He had never had a shoot go this smoothly. Before he knew it, they were working on the cake and Ed was talking to Stede while Roche did the brunt of the mixing, Ed teasing him by watching intently as he poured in the sugar.
Ed tried to not let the dread sweep over him knowing that each passing moment meant he was getting closer to the end - closer to having to pack up, leave, and drive to the next town, then pack up, leave, and drive to the next town. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Except this time, he genuinely didn’t want to leave. Every single person he was meeting here was fucking fantastic. Everyone seemed so…happy. That wasn’t common in the restaurant business and Stede attributed it to his people positive management style. Hell, half the staff seemed to be dating and not in the weird dramatic way that you’d see most places where you knew the whole restaurant was gonna implode if they broke up. It just felt like…the right people found the right people. The shift manager Oluwande and sous chef Jim (who was a whiz with a knife, apparently) were even interviewed by his team at one point to talk about how the restaurant had brought them together. Oluwande did most of the talking, but you could tell Jim was just the quiet type and perhaps hated the sappy sentimentality of it all…but they did it anyway…because they loved Oluwande. And Oluwande loved them.
Lucius the host and one of the waiters, Pete (who insisted he’d worked at one of Ed’s restaurants) had been spotted canoodling throughout all of their bustling around. The bartender John and barista Frenchie shared their fascinatingly improbable workspace with the finesse only two people who cared intensely about each other could have.
Ed could see himself here. Ed wanted to see himself here, but he was just a ship passing through and soon it would be done. He was determined to enjoy the rest of his time, though. At least he’d have nice memories.
“So Stede, you have a bit of a unique business model here don’t you,” Ed commented, driving the conversation points his team had requested.
“Yes, you could say that.”
“You donate a portion of your profits to local LGBTQIA+ charities, is that right?”
“Well, almost. I donate all of my profits - once I’ve paid my staff, rent, and all of the various bills and such,” Stede explained as if this was a very normal concept.
Ed stared at him agog for a moment.
How the fuck did this handsome, funny, kind, insane man keep this place afloat.
“You do what ?”
“All of it. I give it away.”
Ed laughed hysterically, not believing he was actually hearing this.
“How?”
Stede blushed again and seemed to fall back into himself a bit.
“I don’t - well, we don’t need the money. I’ve planned it all out and...let’s just say, it’s far more financially responsible for me to send the money somewhere it can do more.”
“You’re - that’s incredible, mate. Truly.”
Everything Ed learned about this place made him fall a little bit more in love.
With The Revenge, not with anyone or anything else.
They had a guy named Buttons whose role was frankly completely indiscernible but Ed would guess it was something akin to a maintenance manager. When Ed asked him what he did he just said “I was here long before you and I will be here long after you” which felt ominous as fuck and Ed didn’t want to press any further; he knew better than to mess with mystic shit. Maybe a demon. He didn’t fucking know and he didn’t intend to find out.
They had two libraries - two , in a restaurant - which Stede had insisted were absolutely necessary. One was tucked away inside in a private, quiet reading room that had been soundproofed for those needing a more peaceful environment. It was full of books about queer people, for queer people ranging from essential non-fiction resources to silly bits of science fiction. The second library was one of those tiny little free libraries that had been popping up and it was located outside of the restaurant, encouraging people to “Leave one, take one”. When Ed pointed out that wasn’t really how libraries worked, Stede just said that it helped him expand his own selection of books he may not otherwise know existed. Besides, he wanted to be sure that people who needed access to these books had it even if they couldn’t come into the restaurant for any reason.
It was all so overhwhelming.
It wasn’t without its flaws, it was a small business after all. Ed had spotted at least 14 things that could bear with major adjusting, but it seemed like people loved it in spite of its flaws.
What a fucking concept.
Ed had stepped out of the restaurant for a much needed break and was smoking against his trailer when Stede walked up and leaned next to him wordlessly, not seeming to know how to broach whatever subject was on his mind.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi,” Ed replied, not looking at him. The more he looked at Stede, the harder all of this was.
A loaded pause.
“I just wanted to say…thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Ed replied plainly.
“No, I mean…thank you. I know what you did.”
Ed side-eyed Stede at this.
“Been reading my diary?”
A small smile briefly flashed across Stede’s face.
“No, I was talking to Fang just now and…he told me you specifically requested to come here.”
Ed’s mind began racing - why the fuck would Fang tell him that? They tried to make the selection process as secretive as possible to not show any kind of favoritism or cause problems.
“Yup,” Ed replied, taking a drag of his cigarette.
“Why?”
Ed leaned his head back against the trailer as he slowly exhaled, smoke billowing away from them.
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?
Why had he been so dead set on coming here? Why couldn’t he cut his losses with this one the way he did so many others?
“Guess I wanted to feel like I was doing something that mattered.”
“What you’re doing does matter, Ed.”
He laughed humorlessly.
“10 years ago, maybe. Now this is just the shit people turn on to shut everyone up at awkward family gatherings.”
“No,” Stede said emphatically, “No, this is doing a lot for people, I know it is..”
“Not me. The idea of me, maybe. The car and the film crew show up and everyone freaks out. ‘Blackbeard’ I don’t even need to go in the fucking restaurant. I’m a ghost. ‘Oh Ed Teach ate there’, “Ed Teach drank here, ‘Ed Teach shat in a bucket in a supply closet there.’ They say whatever they want to get people in the door, which is great - that’s the whole fucking point. But it’s not about them anymore - the businesses. They’ve made it about me. Hung posters of me up on their walls. Written articles about me. It should be about them . This was never supposed to be for my gain. I’m not some…some egocentric dickfuck who wants people to think they need to earn my seal of approval. I don’t even know why I do it anymore.”
Ed let the weight of saying that out loud sink in, not sure why he was treating this parking lot like a confessional couch.
“Well I’m glad you’re here,” Stede told him softly, lightly bumping their arms against each other.
Ed scoffed.
“And I do mean you . Not the show. Not your seal of approval. I’m grateful you’re here. Honestly, I don’t know if I could have made it through today without you.”
Ed let that wash over him. Stede had been a bit of a fucking wreck when he first got there and Izzy was not making things any easier for him with his general aura of Izziness. Maybe Stede really was different. Maybe he really was glad to meet him, and not just for the bragging rights.
Maybe he was worth finding a way to stay for.
“I wanna invest,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Stede let out a breath of a laugh in shock.
“What?”
“I wanna invest. In The Revenge. You said you don’t have any investors and I want to do it.”
“Well, that’s very lovely, Ed, I’m…I’m honored, really, but…I don’t have any investors because I don’t need any investors.”
“Mate, every business can use an eccentric millionaire with too much money on their hands.”
“Yes, and we’ve got one.”
“Who?” Ed asked, almost jealous for some reason.
Stede smiled mischievously.
“Me.”
“Fuck off,” Ed groaned.
“No better place to spend my inheritance money than a place I know for certain will put it to good use.”
“Can’t argue with that. But that has to be an awful lot for one guy-”
“You just said all I need is one guy-”
“Yeah, when I was trying to woo you into letting me invest!”
“Oh, you’re wooing me now?”
Ed paused.
“Little bit.”
“Well consider me wooed.”
Ed felt his heart tightening. Holy fucking shit - had he just? Did he just? Were they? What the fuck?
Then Stede stuck out his hand to shake.
“I’d love to have you on as an investor..if you think there’s room enough for two eccentric weirdos.”
“Hey, I never said weirdos,” Ed quipped.
“I know,” Stede replied, that devilish glint back in his eyes.
Ed was in the best kind of trouble. The kind of trouble that filled him with a sense of hope he hadn’t felt in years. The kind of trouble that made him feel like maybe he could have what he wanted after all. The kind of trouble that gave him the urge to fight like hell for what was important to him…and maybe what was important to him right now was keeping this silly little man and his silly little restaurant in his life.
He wasn’t in the business of falling for the owners of the restaurants he visited…but he could make an exception for the right one.
The rest of the shoot was nearly impossible for him after that revelation. He spent it interviewing patrons about their experiences at The Revenge, including a table of teens who came by weekly for a book club and a table of elder gays who were there celebrating the 40th anniversary of one of the couples. Ed very quickly dismissed the vision that popped into his mind of himself sitting at a table like that somewhere down the line with Stede next to him.
They all talked about how glad they were to have something like this and Ed tried not to get teary eyed listening to the table of elders speaking emotionally about “how far things have come”.
Ed may or may not have insisted on having an entire 40 orange glaze cake sent out to them courtesy of him..
The final shot of the day was of Ed and Stede chatting at the bar to showcase how the place switched from day to night and that, while they focused on being for all ages, they did want to have a more casual bar element “for those of us who can’t quite handle the clubs these days”.
Stede had winked at him. Stede winked, Ed giggled, and he was endlessly grateful for second takes.
“Let’s try this again without whatever the fuck that was,” Izzy demanded as if he was the director (he was not). Regardless, they reset.
“Tell me, Stede, if this is a family friendly place, why have a full bar?”
“Well family friendly is really a broad term, isn’t it? Plenty of restaurants have a bar element - why shouldn’t ours? We wanted people to have the option not to drink without feeling pressure, but still wanted to have it available for those that do. Especially since clubs aren’t really everyone’s speed. Some people prefer a more relaxed environment…getting to talk to the person they’re with. Just…enjoying each other's company.
“Oh yeah? And how’s the company today?” Ed asked playfully as he took a sip of the specialty cocktail they’d made up for him.
“Absolutely lovely,” Stede replied with all of the earnestness in the world.
Ed’s heart melted on the spot. He was almost certain the footage would showcase him melting slowly to the floor into a puddle of feelings, but he tried to keep his cool guy aura in tact..
“Cheers,” he said, clinking his glass with Stede’s.
“Cheers,” Stede echoed.
“So long term, what’s your goal here? Where do you want to see The Revenge in 5 years?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Stede said shyly, “I’d like to see it grow.”
“Franchising?”
“No, definitely not that,” Stede said with a grimace. “Just the one will do I think.”
Ed chuckled.
“Thought a guy like you would be dead set on changing the world.”
“You don’t have to be across the world to change the world.”
Ed froze.
Wasn’t that fucking profound.
“The sense of community is what makes this special. It’s the people. You lose that when you focus on being everything to everyone. I care more about being something to someone. The work you do at home - in your community - that can change the world more than you know. Sometimes it’s the small things.”
“I think you may be right,” Ed said, hoping his voice didn’t sound as choked up as it felt.
“And more personally...I wouldn’t mind terribly if it helped me find someone of my own one of these days,” Stede added quietly before taking another sip of his drink.
“It’ll happen, mate. You never know who you’ll meet.”
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER
“You swear you’re not mad that your episode got pushed back?” Ed asked as he puttered around the kitchen preparing their snacks.
“Not in the slightest, darling,” Stede assured him with a gentle kiss on the cheek that reminded him of why they had done all of this.
It was the premiere day for his episode. Ed had his phone off for nearly a week now because he was tired of seeing the phrase “Blackbeard’s Best Bites final episode” emblazoned everywhere. If anyone needed him, they’d find him.
The rest of the crew was down at The Revenge hosting a premiere party, but he and Stede had opted to spend the night in together and make a special appearance at the after party when the episode had finished airing and they had gotten their tears out.
They were just getting comfy on the couch when there was a knock at the door and Stede nearly lept out of Ed’s arm’s and sprinted towards the door shouting, “Oh thank god, I thought they weren’t going to make it.”
Before Ed could even put words together to ask him what was going on, Stede was headed back to him holding a carefully wrapped plate.
“I didn’t think tonight would be complete without this…and I needed it to be fresh so I had them send someone over just for us.”
Stede unwrapped the plate and put it in Ed’s hands.
It was something he’d become extremely familiar with since they’d first met.
“You had them bring me fuckin’ Pulpo a la Gallega?”
“I had them bring us Pulpo a la Gallega,” Stede corrected.
“Oh shut up,” Ed teased, playfully swatting Stede’s arm as he sat back down next to him and cuddled in close.
“How are you feeling?” Stede asked with concern, rubbing his hand up and down Ed’s back.
“Honestly? I’m pleased as fuckin’ punch it’s done. Nervous for how people are gonna react, but…I’ve never been so sure of something in my life. The real question is - are you ready for what comes next?”
“Of course, I am. I’ve never been so sure of something in my life,” Stede echoed back.
“Cheesy bastard.”
“You love it.”
The episode was about to start. The network had added some tacky pre-show lead-in with overly dramatic music about it being the final episode as if this were a beloved sitcom ending and not some lame little food show.
It began like any other episode, Ed giving his stupid little intro from his fancy ass car. Everything after that, though, felt distinctly different from every other location they’d ever featured…but maybe that was just his sentimentality getting the best of him. Having the first moments of their relationship in a space that was so special to them on film like this was a surreal experience.
Stede’s intro played and Ed playfully nudged him.
“Look at you, you were so fucking smitten!”
“Well of course I was, you were staring at me with those gorgeous eyes of yours-”
“You think my eyes are gorgeous?” Ed asked, fluttering them facetiously. \
“Be quiet, I’m trying to enjoy this!”
“Pfft, okay then.”
Ed loved this shit. The playful banter. The teasing. The cuddling. They’d come so far these few months, it was hard to believe.
They made a few side comments throughout the rest of the show, most notably Stede admonishing Ed for the noises he made when trying the food.
“Did you do that on purpose?”
“Absolutely.”
“I nearly died, Edward!”
They got to the final shot of them at the bar, the picture fading out after Ed said “you never know who you’ll meet”.
It slowly faded back in to a shot of Ed adjusting his phone on one of the tables inside The Revenge where he was seated and speaking directly to the camera.
“So turns out, I was right; you really never know who you’ll meet. And I thought you lot might want an explanation for why I’m leaving you like this. You’re probably wondering why I’m back at The Revenge. A better question would be why I’m still at The Revenge, cause I never left. Not really. I finished filming the rest of the season and came straight back because I couldn’t picture my life without it. More importantly, I couldn’t picture my life without Stede. As I’m sure the episode made painfully obvious, I fell for Stede Bonnet the minute I met him and fell more and more with every insane thing he told me. I initially signed on as an investor because I loved this restaurant, but over time I realized that what I really loved was him. This episode was initially slated for earlier in the season, but I insisted it be last so you could see exactly what I was leaving this for…and hopefully you’d understand. I’ll be helping here at The Revenge with Stede for as long as he’ll have me. And before you all come rushing down to see me, no, I won’t be there that often and besides, I think we’d both much prefer you take that travel money and donate it to your favorite local LGBTQIA+ charity instead. Anyway, thank you for 15 wonderful years, I’ve loved getting to share all of these amazing places with you. Now on to the next.”
Ed looked over at Stede who was nothing short of bawling. He’d deliberately kept this part a secret from him so he would be surprised. Ed was shocked when Stede spoke first.
“It’s forever, you know.”
“What’s that love?”
“‘As long as I’ll have you’...forever.”
Now Ed was crying with him and they were both a sloppy, sobbing mess when the shot faded out once again.
What the fuck?
In came a compilation of business owners he’d met over the years, some of which were fan favorites, others were folks that Ed had happened to keep in touch with whenever he could. Shot after shot of people thanking him for what he did to help them and their small business, talking about how the show helped them expand or how they finally paid off their mortgage, videos of their kids that were toddlers when they filmed who were now teenagers getting ready to graduate high school, one who said they were going to culinary school because of him.
Ed was unaware of when exactly he switched from casually crying to full on ugly weeping, but he eventually realized that Stede had him wrapped up in a firm embrace and kissed him softly on the head.
If Ed wasn’t ready for this segment in general, he was definitely not ready for the end of it.
It was a shot of Stede sitting at the bar being interviewed by a voice Ed recognized as Fang’s.
“How did this show impact your life?”
On-screen Stede burst into a dazzling smile.
“Well, it brought me love. It brought me Ed.”
“And what does that mean for you?”
On-Screen Stede chuckled.
“Everything. It sounds terribly cliche, but before I met Ed, I wasn’t sure I would ever find someone. Coming out later in life made it feel like perhaps I’d missed that opportunity, but then he showed up and...he was more than I could have ever dreamed.”
“So what happens now?”
“Well, I hope that everyone forgives me for stealing him from you,” On-Screen Stede joked, “But now we’re going to work together to keep The Revenge going strong and build a nice little life together while we’re at it.”
It seemed obvious when Stede said it like that. He had a way of taking the most absurd concepts and making them sound like they were clear as day solutions.
“Sometimes it should be about you,” Stede whispered in Ed’s ear.
“When the fuck did you do that?” Ed asked through his tears.
“I got there early before you filmed this,” he told Ed, gesturing to the television.
It was the reshoot of the closing for the episode. He always ended it with a few words before driving off into the distance, but this time was different since they knew it was the last episode.
“Well, there you have it, folks. A one-of-a-kind space with one-of-a-kind food for an incredible kind of people. And one last time, I’m Ed Teach, and this has been Triple B.”
Instead of driving away, however, Ed drove into the parking lot of The Revenge, parked his car, and walked inside.
It took longer for the both of them to stop crying than either cared to admit. It wasn’t until Lucius texted them, “If you’re fucking right now I swear to god I am making you personally apologize to every patron here” that they decided to put on a brave face and make the quick trip down to The Revenge.
They walked in hand in hand and Stede greeted everyone first.
“Hi, all!”
Everyone turned around, took in what they were seeing, and cheered raucously.
In order for Ed to quit the show this season, the network bargained with him: keep your business with Stede private until we air and you can leave the show. It had been really fucking difficult and included a tried (and failed) beard shaving experiment that he swore never to do again, but it did work pretty fucking well for the whole not-getting-caught thing. That meant this was news to everyone except the staff and perhaps a few eagle eyed regulars…and the two seagulls that were weirdly always around Buttons (seriously, what was that guy’s deal).
“Um, hi. Know you weren’t expecting to see me here tonight, but on account of,” Ed began, gesturing broadly around him, “I thought you might be upset if I wasn’t. But this here is the man of the hour, so go ahead and ask him whatever questions you have!”
Ed stepped back so Stede could have his moment in the metaphorical spotlight.
“We have plenty of questions, but they’re for both of you,” one of the teens from the book club shouted.
Everyone else murmured in agreement and cheered them on.
“Okay, okay, fine. Ask either of us whatever the fuck you want. Oh yeah, and by the way, I swear a whole fuckin’ lot in real life, not sorry.”
The crowd began firing off questions.
“When did you start dating?”
“About a week after filming,” Stede answered.
“Do you live here now?”
“Have for a month or two,” Ed answered.
“What exactly does an investor do?”
Ed and Stede spoke over each other-
“I’m basically a sugar daddy.”
“He gives me advice and helps fund new ventures.”
“Are you the reason all those weird fancy forks and things are gone?”
“Yes, you’re welcome. All of you were stealing them at a huge loss to the business, go sell them on eBay now or something.”
“Do you live together?”
“Yes, it made far more sense than him trying to buy a place in town.”
The crowd, undeniably started by Lucius, started chanting “Uhaul”.
“What’s your favorite restaurant in town?”
“Uhhh aside from this one? You’re not gonna believe me, but it’s that little pirate joint by the shore. Fuckin’ delightful.”
“What do you hope is gonna happen now that the episode aired?”
“I hope more queer people in the area will hear about what we’re doing and come visit us.”
“Are you getting married?”
“Not yet, but when we do, you’re all invited!”
Everyone cheered.
It honestly felt like the whole night from that point forward was nothing but cheering and laughter. Ed soaked it all in - this was exactly why he’d done it. This is what he’d been searching for. This was his lighthouse.
As the event wrapped up for the evening and the crowds began to disperse, Ed and Stede made their way out to Ed’s convertible, got inside, and drove off into the distance together to return home.