Chapter Text
"When you read this, i want you to know. I mean this in the most vile, offensive, rude, and mean way. I loathe you. Every part of you. Every breath you take makes me repulsed. There will never be a universe where we are even semi friends.
If i had 2 choices, to either be your friend, or to eat my own, alive pulsating heart, i would choose myself in a heartbeat. Because at least my heart doesn't trick and manipulate others into believing I'm a good person, then leaving them to drown in a melancholy pit of sadness.
You never seemed to be in the wrong. You're always the victim in every situation. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being reasonable about you. I loathe you. I want you gone from my life.
I. HATE. YOU.
The room erupted with laughter.
"A bit harsh don't you think" Doyoung giggled as he folded the note he had found in his locker, gently placing it into the pocket of his blazer. Haechan and Jaehyun lent their backs against the lockers as they tried to regain their composer from laughing, Haechan's arm resting on Jaehyun's shoulder for support.
It was hilarious to them. Someone writing a note about just how much they DON'T want to think about Doyoung.
The fourth boy with them had a different reaction from the others, rather displaying a mix of concern and confusion on his face. Jungwoo was new to the school and had only recently joined Doyoung's clique, so the concerned reaction from the boy after hearing what was written on the note didn't come as a surprise to the others.
Anyone would be if they didn't have the context.
"Wonder who it could be from," Doyoung hummed sarcastically, shutting his locker.
"Who could you have pissed off so badly that they'd rather - and i quote - eat their own alive pulsating heart, than talk to you?" Jae replied equally as sarcastically, nudging Haechan's resting hand off his shoulder.
Everyone in the school knew about Doyoung's little rivalry, and the bigger the reaction he got, the more he persevered.
That was something he had picked up from Haechan when they were younger.
The three boys had been childhood friends, connecting through their parent's when they were in pre-primary. Haechan loved getting on everyone's nerves, especially Doyoung's when they were younger, always asking for bigger reactions no matter how small the issue was.
As they grew up and his constant need for bigger and bigger reactions began to rub off on Doyoung, Jaehyun would always watch and laugh from the sidelines. He was more introverted compared to the other two, but that didn't stop him from having his fair share of fun.
Jaehyun was always a quiet trouble compared to Haechan's confronting and daring personality. While he would be off pestering any unfortunate kid that was unlucky enough to stumble into his path, Jaehyun would be slyly wondering around the class, nitpicking the occasional stationery piece from an unsuspecting student, or sneaking into their bags during bathroom breaks and taking some of their food. Not for himself, rather he'd place it into another student's bag. Then return to his seat and watch the scene unfold.
As the boys got bigger, so did their pranks, going from stealing people's stationary to throwing bags in the toilet.
And growing up around this mischief, Doyoung couldn't help but pick up on some nasty habits himself. Unfortunately, rather than being loud and confrontational like Haechan, or quiet and sly like Jaehyun, he had picked up a bit of both with his own flare. He goes for someone on a similar academic level as him, and mentally fuck with them and their work until they inevitably either snapped and gave him that reaction Haechan trained him to love, or dropped out like so many others had before.
Up until the start of this school year, Doyoung had gotten bored. There was no one near his academic level anymore as they were nearing the end of their schooling journey, and he had scared off anyone that could even be considered a threat.
It was well known that his family was rich, funding his tuition as well as contributing large donations to the school every year. This was part of the reason why Doyoung and his clique were able to get away with so much. Money spoke for them.
If anyone had anything to say against them, and Doyoung got pulled from school, they'd loose their biggest donors and the school would inevitably fall to shambles.
That was all until a new student had joined their year a few months back, already challenging Doyoung place as top student within the first week. The boy didn't seem to be rich like Doyoung, all of his stationary looking second hand and his textbooks already having slight tears on the cover. Even his uniform looked like a potato sack, hanging off his small frame.
Doyoung didn't buy it though, that someone who wasn't dripping with money could even stand a chance to compete against him. And for the first time in a what felt like forever, Doyoung felt like he could have some well deserved fun.
He felt like he had a purpose again.
Unfortunately, they didn't have any classes together. He had to make a conscious effort to find the boy every break time, Haechan often distracting the new kid as Jaehyun would take his food, leaving Doyoung to head to his next class and fuck his seat over.
To Doyoung, this was considered honorary - taking time out of his day to spend on someone else. He doesn't do this for just anyone.
At first, the other boy was confused.
Why was he having his lunch picked off him every day? Why would he walk into class and see his desk soaked in water and covered in insults written in red marker? What had he done to anyone so far to trigger such a reaction? When he'd ask his teachers and classmates if they ever saw who did it, he was always brushed off or given the same excuse, "It doesn't matter," "As long as it's not interfering with your studies, and looking at your grades, you seem to be fine," "Boys will be boys."
He was sick of it. He was sick of having to miss out on eating the lunch his mum would spend her time making because of some stupid kids. He was sick of going through the day on the brink of passing out.. He was sick of it all.
Unfortunately for him though, the more he expressed his anger, the worse it was going to get.
At some point within his first month at his new school, he had managed to connect with some boys in his year, who informed him about Doyoung and the mischief he was known for.
They introduced themselves as Yuta and Johnny, and they quickly grew close. They shared a few classes together, so naturally their relationship started to grow.
Unfortunately for him, Johnny and Yuta were always occupied during breaktime, and he didn't want to bother them by explaining what would happen when he went to the cafeteria everyday.
Johnny and Yuta both took music lessons which ran during lunch time, so in an effort to avoid running into Haechan and Jaehyun, the new boy would go to the toilet to try and eat his food.
However they always found him.
They always acted friendly with him as they approached him, before taking his food and either throwing it in the bin or flushing it down the toilet. If he was lucky, that'd be all, however more often than not, Haechan would steal his bag and rummage through it while Jaehyun would hold him back, laughing as they found his work and tore it up.
He figured if they were going to find him no matter where he sat, he'd might as well just sit in the cafeteria and wait for it just happen.
Haechan looked at his watch before shifting off the lockers and bending down to pick up his and Jaehyun's bags as he sighed.
"Hyung we gotta go," he faced Doyoung, "Mum doesn't want anymore late notices from the school, and i only have 2 more chances before i don't get anymore pocket money."
"Awe our little Haechanie," he replies, reaching to Haechan's face and pinching his cheeks, "our little mama's boy are we?" Haechan tisk'd before slapping Doyoung's hands away.
"Hyung, you should probably go to class as well," Jaehyun stated, taking his bag out of Haechan's hands and swinging it over his shoulder.
"Catch you back here after?"
"Yea, Jungwoo" Doyoung started, looking at the younger who was quietly standing next to him, bag securely on his back, "you walking back with us after?"
Jungwoo nodded his head. He rarely talked but he was good company, somewhat contrasting the other members in his politeness and genuineness. He never took part in their antics at break time, rather he'd go to the art room and work on his painting.
It fit his personality Doyoung thought.
Jungwoo waved to the other boys and heading to his class, Haechan and Jaehyun following shortly after saying their goodbyes.
Doyoung grabbed his bag off the floor and made his way to his last class of the day, humming a happy tune as he did so.
He couldn't stop thinking about that note. Despite the emphasis on just how much he hated Doyoung in the note, he couldn't help but treat it like a love confession.
He was over the moon.
He knew who wrote that note, even without recognizing the handwriting, since there was only one person who hated Doyoung more than Doyoung hated him. It was all a game to him, and this seemed like his queue to knock it up a notch.
He reached his class door, swinging it open and catching the attention of the whole class. The teacher looked over and sighed, "Kim Doyoung, late again are we?"
"Just on time sir," he replied snarkly, not sparing any eye contact with his teacher as he headed to his unofficial assigned seat at the back of the class.
"No friends with you this time?"
Doyoung pulled out his chair and sat down, already resting his head in his arms on the desk. He hummed a sarcastic reply. "I can bring them tomorrow if you miss them that much."
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"Kim Doyoung"
His head jolted up from the desk where he'd unknowingly fell asleep, looking around to see an empty classroom aside from the teacher, who was standing in front of his desk, arms crossed over his chest. Even the teacher had packed his desk up and was ready to head home.
Mr Sooman closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Just because you're top in the class doesn't mean you can sleep every lesson," he started, watching as Doyoung gather his things and pack his bag. He backed away from the desk slightly, giving his student some room.
"What am i going to do with you, Doyoung."
It took every fibre in Doyoung's body to not reply with a sarcastic comment about how he could just leave him alone, feeling a bit bad for the teacher.
Generally speaking, Doyoung disliked the teachers. It was clear they all gave him prince treatment just because of the money from his parents.
Don't get him wrong, he loved being able to get away with almost anything, pushing the limits of what the teachers would let slide just because he knew they'd never say a thing, but Mr Sooman seemed to feel indifferent about it. He would speak to all his students the same, of course just letting Doyoung get away with a bit more. He seemed to actually care about his job as a teacher, caring about his students and their education. He wasn't afraid to talk to Doyoung like a person, to show his concern for the boy and give him the same sarcastic and playful tone Doyoung gave to everyone.
It made Doyoung feel human.
Filling his own silence, he continued. "Please try to do some class work, even if it's just writing what's on the board. Just anything that i can show you're attentive." He stated exhaustedly.
Doyoung only hummed in response, zipping his bag and standing from his desk. "I'll think about it sir," as he pushed his chair in and faced his teacher, giving a gentle but teasing smile.
"I'll head off now Mr Sooman," he headed towards the door. Once he reached it, he turned around in the doorway and gave an exaggerated salute and 90 degree bow, before turning back.
The teacher let out a gentle sigh, smiling and shaking his head, "Get home safe Mr Kim".
Doyoung headed down to the lockers where Hae, Jae and Jungwoo had all agreed to meet once class was over. They all lived in the same general area, so they made a habit of walking home after school almost every day, unless of course Haechan had extra vocal lessons at school or Jaehyun was held back to complete his overdue assignments.
He reached the lockers and wasn't surprised when he saw they had already left, but rather disappointed they hadn't held up.
He pulled his phone from his pocket, noticing the time read 3:36 and had received a few texts from Jungwoo 20 minutes ago saying they were gonna head off.
Fuck he really overslept. School finished at 3pm, so it was no wonder the school felt like a ghost town.
He let out a defeated sigh, really not looking forward to the long walk ahead. It was a good 20 minute walk to his property from the gates of the school, and during summer, the time really liked to drag out.
Briefly opening his bag, he searched for his headphones in hopes for something to give him stimulation. Having searched his whole bag now, and not seeing any sign of his headphones, Doyoung let out a loud, frustrated sigh. "Just my fucking luck hey."
He headed off through the locker room and out the school doors, briskly walking with his hands in his pants pockets through the courtyard. He hummed a familiar tune that his mum used to sing to him when we younger, but he could never remember the name of it.
He made a subconscious habit of whenever he was upset, he would hum it so it gave him something to take his mind off of what was troubling him.
As he exited the school gates, he noticed another student not too far ahead of him. The boy had a smaller frame than Doyoung, short, dark brown hair and a rundown bag that slouched off his back. Doyoung's mood lit up almost immediately, his face now plastered with a big grin as he took his hands out of his pockets and jogged over to the boy.
Maybe his walk home wouldn't be as boring.
"Taeyongiee" he sung teasingly, approaching the other, who'd now froze in his tracks. Doyoung's smile widened as he reached him, sensing he was locked and loaded with reactions to feed into Doyoung's boredom. Swinging an arm over Taeyong's shoulder and using his body weight, he nudged him to continue his walk.
It was rare that Doyoung would run into Taeyong past lunch time since his clique would leave as the bell rang and they didn't share the same class schedule.
Actually, it was rare for Doyoung to run into Taeyong at all, since he would always be messing with him behind the scenes while his friends did all the confronting. That didn't stop Taeyong from knowing all about the pretentious fuck who was currently dragging him down.
The first time they had crossed paths, Doyoung treated Taeyong well, showing interest in the boy and his work. When he told Doyoung about the bullying he was experiencing already, Doyoung pretended to care. He pretended to try and help him find who was behind the mess. He pretended to give two shits about Taeyong's issue. And to Taeyong? It was all so real.
His first real friend in a new environment, someone he could rely on and come to when he was experiencing hardships.
To him, Doyoung was everything.
Then Yuta and Johnny broke the news to him about who was actually behind it all, and ever since they've never seen eye-to-eye.
Generally, the one part of the day Taeyong could relax, wasn't at home, but rather the walk home. He didn't have to worry about his family, his responsibilities, his school work.
He didn't have to worry about Doyoung.
He loved the sound of nature, and whenever he was able to spend time outdoors, he'd jump at the opportunity. He never had too much spare time at home, so he'd savour his journey from school home as much as he could. Unfortunately that was now ruined by a privileged wanker.
He didn't turn around to face Doyoung. He didn't want to see him. he didn't want to hear his voice.
He didn't want to think about him.
"You stopped and waited for me? Awe who's a good boy" aggressively ruffling Taeyong's hair with his free hand, before sliding it into his blazer's pocket and taking out the folded paper.
"I got your little note," he waved it in the air.
Taeyong stifled.
There was no way. Taeyong had written a note, a note he would never even imagine giving to Doyoung, a note that he had hastily written the night before to express his anger without actually doing anything, because he knew he didn't stand a chance against Doyoung or any of his friends in the real world.
A note he knew he didn't take to school, let alone give it to Doyoung.
There must've been a misunderstanding.
Doyoung studied Taeyong's face. Despite the elder avoiding eye contact, he noticed how his eyes widened ever so slightly, the way his breathing had sped up and the way his hands had become restless by his side, picking at skin around his nail.
He smirked.
Leaning his head closer to Taeyong's from the side and bringing his mouth to his ear, he whispered in a teasing yet soft tone.
It was time for his little game to begin.
"If you had 2 choices,"
Taeyong snapped his head to look at Doyoung who was barely an inch away from his face, their noses brushing against each other.
He could feel the other's breath against his skin, so warm yet so cold. His eyes widening even more as his face washed over with fear.
Doyoung smile grew. He had to admit that Taeyong looked funny, almost even cute. Taeyong had naturally bigger eyes, so seeing them widen even more was humoring for him. His reaction to those 5 words made his head run busy, wanting to extract even more of that addicting look from the boy.
And he knew exactly what to do.
He continued, voice still soft but even breathier, "To either be my friend," slowly creeping his free hand up to Taeyong's face, his finger gently brushing against his ear. "or eat your own, alive, pulsating bloody heart,"
Taeyong had gone pale. He didn't know what to do.
The over-stimulation he was experiencing from this situation drove his mind blank. Not to mention that there was no longer that misunderstanding he could blame for the note. That was definitely his.
But how? What could he say? What was there to say?
He couldn't walk away, and any response he gave would only feed Doyoung - not that he wasn't already enjoying Taeyong's expression.
Doyoung loved the look of horror on the other's face. He found it intoxicating.
Unlike everyone else he had bothered, Doyoung found himself drawn especially towards Taeyong, and he couldn't figure it out.
Was it his persistence? The way he hadn't given up or even slowed down with his academics despite the trouble they were causing him?
Or was it his face? The way his ears always told everyone the truth about his feelings, the way his cheeks would flush pink whenever confronted or put in an awkward situation. The way his eyes always seemed so big for his small frame. It made Doyoung want to push him to his limit, see what would make him snap. God, how he wanted to see what Taeyong looked like at his limit.
He brushed his thumb across Taeyong's cheek, using his index finger to push his bangs away from his face.
He stared into his eyes, feeling himself getting sucked in and loosing himself. It was the way his eyes were so dark, yet he swore he could see the whole universe in them.
Doyoung hated it.
He couldn't stand how perfect he was, not just academics anymore, but also physically.
He noticed a small dent in his skin above his cheek bone, formed in the shape of a rose.
At least that was one imperfection god gave him, although he did find it rather pretty.
Doyoung dropped his smile and lent even further towards his ear, his lips brushing ever so delicately against it.
"Which would you choose, hyung?" voice dropped to the lowest and raspiest he could naturally whisper, before pulling away and facing Taeyong. Both hands now cupping his cheek delicately, as though he were a glass vase that could shatter at any moment.
Taeyong was beyond flustered. He could feel his knees about to buckle from under the pressure right then and there. His ears flushing pinker by the second.
Where was he supposed to look?
He couldn't stand looking at Doyoung regularly, and now he was all he could see.
He felt like throwing up. He felt like gauging his eyes out. Taeyong's eyes raced all around Doyoung's face, trying to find something, anything to say in retaliation. The feeling of his hand on his cheek made his skin crawl.
His senses were in overdrive, being suffocated by rich perfume.
He couldn't breath. Couldn't think.
Doyoung broke the silence, letting out a massive laugh as he pulled his face away from Taeyong's, slapping his cheeks where it previously cupped, before sliding the note back into his blazer.
It was perfect. The sight he had in front of him, all for himself.
Taeyong finally took a breath of fresh air, not realising just how suffocated he was in that proximity, drawing another gentle smile from the other.
"You know, you got bold there, writing that note," they began walking again, this time Doyoung walking next to Taeyong as opposed to dragging on him. "I honestly didn't think you'd have the guts to say anything, let alone something that daring."
Neither looked at each other, rather facing the path ahead of them. Taeyong didn't reply. He still didn't know what to say.
He couldn't let Doyoung know that he had no intention of him ever actually reading it. There was no way he was going to believe that Taeyong didn't hand deliver that letter to his locker with Doyoung in mind.
He was just glad that he was free from his gaze, from his embrace.
They walked side-by-side in silence for a bit until they neared an intersection.
Doyoung spoke up again.
"Honestly though, I'm glad," he glanced down at Taeyong who was now facing him, expression filled with confusion and wary.
He smiled looking down at the older, only imagining what was going through his mind.
"I'm glad you're feeling confident enough to say all of that to me. Makes me happy, knowing you're thinking about me in your spare time." He shot a wink at Taeyong before ruffling his hair, still fondly smiling.
"I'll have more fun now, knowing how you feel."
They had reached the intersection, and Doyoung had to part ways, as much as he wanted to follow Taeyong like a lost rabbit who'd finally found shelter.
"See you tomorrow, hyung?" Doyoung stated in his signature teasing tone, gently tilting his head at an angle.
Taeyong, still not having said a word throughout that whole exchange, merely had an expressionless face, to which Doyoung shot one final smile at, before turning around and heading his own way.