Chapter Text
Annabeth was very good at going AWOL on people right now, and that was apparently a new and different concept for most of the camp, who were very skilled at treating it like a nuisance. It made sense, though… she had to deal with the disappearance of her boyfriend, she was supposed to go on a quest to save him… she had a lot on her plate. She’d been running herself ragged looking for people who she couldn’t find. And despite being the child of wisdom, she kept coming up empty. Piper couldn’t imagine a world where that wasn’t the most stressful thing ever. She knocked tentatively on Annabeth’s cabin door, creaking it open to see her curled up on her bed. She sat up quickly and blinked at Piper, as though she thought she might not truly be there.
“Hey, Annabeth…Head counselors are needed in the-.” Her brows crinkled. Tears. And for some reason, it made her really fucking sad when Annabeth cried, apparently. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked, and Annabeth raised an eyebrow and shook her head, like Piper had imagined the tears.
“Hm? I’m fine.” She said, but her voice was hollow enough to show that she was lying. Piper could make a case on that alone.
“That’s bullshit. I can see the tears, I’m not an idiot.” Piper sighed, flicking her hair from her face as she leaned in the doorway of Annabeth’s cabin, choosing after a split second to step inside. She looked at the difference between their two living quarters - the maps, Annabeth’s admittedly messy bunk covered in different maps… it was nice. It felt more like a home and less like a cabin. Annabeth looked shocked at Piper pushing past her first attempt to brush off her feelings.
“Excuse me?” She asked, and Piper shrugged, sitting down on the edge of Annabeth’s bunk beside her, nudging her knee with her own. She could get through to her, she just knew it. It was the only way to make sure that Annabeth didn’t bottle up whatever she was feeling.
“Come on, I know lies when I hear them, I’m a ‘troubled kid’, remember?” Piper said, her smile crooked. She could feel it. It was always crooked when she was talking about something that felt bittersweet. “So. Tell me what's happening in that brilliant mind of yours? What are you thinking about?” She asked, and Annabeth sighed, staring vacantly into the empty area of the cabin in front of her. She’d never seen someone look so lost… Well, she had but that was a completely different story.
“Percy.” Yes. But she needed to know what about Percy she was crying about, or she could never help.
“That was obvious.” Annabeth took a moment to formulate her thoughts, something that Piper could respect.
“I’m thinking… What if he doesn’t want me anymore once we find him? What if he completely forgot about me, and now he’s dating someone else, and instead of wanting to continue our relationship, he wants to stay with them instead-.” She placed a hand on Annabeth’s shoulder, which made her stop speaking immediately. Good, because her brain was going to explode from her rate of speech and she had something to say.
“Woah. Okay. First of all, I don’t think Percy is going to find anyone else as great as you are… I mean, it’s hard to top dating the architect of Olympus . Plus, I don’t know why but I feel like it’s impossible for him to completely forget about you.” Piper siad, and this seemed to strike a good chord with Annabeth, at least it made her smile for a moment. Thats a win .
“Really?”
“Yeah. I cling to the fake memories I have of Jason at school with like they’re fucking water and I’m dying of thirst. He’s an anchor to me, even if nothing we had was real… even if our relationship has shifted into a different area than I thought it was going to at first. If some goddess came around and stole my memory? I would still remember him, I’m almost sure of it.” Piper explained, and Annabeth raised an eyebrow, the doubt back in her face. Shit, That was entirely on her.
“Only almost?” She asked, and Piper nodded. She wasn’t sure that Jason was the right… romantic fit for her. Sure,. She’d been big and stood up to Drew about staying away from him… and he was cute and nice and her heart fluttered… but she wasn’t sure if it was because of the fake memories or because of who he was as a person.
“Well, there’s the possibility that without the mist memories, his significance in my mind would become less and I wouldn't feel anchored by him anymore. I don’t know.” PIper said, and she thought that Annabeth would appreciate the wisdom in that, but instead it looked like her gears were turning. Either way.
“You feel like if you lean too much on them, you’re pushing him to be something he’s never been, don’t you?” Annabeth asked, and Piper’s heart dropped. It was like Annabeth had reached into her mind and pulled out exactly what she was thinking. Did she like Jason or did she like the idea of Jason? That was something she was going to have to figure out.
“...Is that crazy?” Piper asked, and Annabeth was quick to shake her head. It might’ve been her own imagination, but Annabeth seemed to be more lively now, like getting out of her own head put her back on earth.
“No. Not at all, it’s a very logical way of thinking about memory loss and false memories. You may remember a completely different side of Jason tahn the one that he has because in your brain, he was exactly what you wanted… A fantasy of what could be in the man of your dreams.” Annabeth explained, and Piper nodded,but she still felt the need to correct one little detail in what she had said. Content was correct, but there was some clarification missing.
“Person of my dreams, but go on.” Piper said, and Annabeth looked at her, clearly surprised and maybe a little remorseful… There was no reason for being remorseful, Piper simply hadn’t mentioned it because up until right now, there was no organic way to bring it up and she truly didn’t care if people knew or not.
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t-.” She waved her off with a smile. Not something she had to worry about.
“I don't announce it, it’s no big deal.” Piper said, and Annabeth looked relieved at that, probably because it made her feel less like she was being self centered (Which she wasn’t.)
“Cool, okay. I’ve been so wrapped up that I didn’t even realize like… do you know the word sonder?” Annabeth asked and Piper shook her head. She had never heard that before in her life, but she was sure Annabeth had no qualms with filling her in on the term.
“No. I know what somber means, but something tells me they’re different.” Piper said, and this made Annabeth crack another smile 2 for 2, McLean. Keep it up .
“They are. Sonder means the realization that people have just as complex and vivid lives as you do. It's like a feeling. Sometimes it hits me all at once, I’ll look at someone I barely know and I’ll be like ‘Gods, they have a life that I’ve never even asked about. To them, I’m the background character, and they are the main character.” Annabeth said, and Piper nodded. That was a word she should fold into her vocabulary. It sounded like a feeling she would have to describe again sometime.
“I didn’t know there was a word for that.but it makes sense that it’s there. Sonder .” Piper turned the word over on her tongue, feeling the weight of it. Somehow, it felt like something she should mention to Jason… because it was probably how he felt about himself, leaving a whole life and not being able to remember how it was… it would bring about a feeling of sonder for himself.
“I just had a huge wave of it when you mentioned that… because I know so little about you, but I tried to act as though I know what goes on in your life.” Annabeth explained, and Piper shrugged. She didn’t mind the assumption, honestly,.. Annabeth was just assumptive by nature, she could work with that.
“Annabeth, it’s not a big deal. You made a very common assumption and I corrected it so that it better fit my life. You weren’t being, like, dismissive or anything. You were going off of context clues. But this isn’t about me. What makes you believe that Percy wants to be with anyone who isn’t you?” Annabeth snorted at this and wiped her eyes, like the mere idea of Percy being the problem was ridiculous. But wasn’t that what she was worried about? Losing him to someone else?
“ Please , it’s not Percy I’m worried about. I mean, sure he’s an idiot sometimes… but he’s loyal. That’s his fatal flaw. He would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, but if he’s forgotten about me… he’s also handsome enough to make anyone fall to their knees and beg him for a chance.” She said, and Piper raised an eyebrow. She’d seen pictures of him around the Big House, but maybe there was more to him in person… or maybe he just wasn’t her type, that was always a possibility. But he was clearly Annabeth’s .
“Jesus…” She murmured, and Annabeth sighed, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes as she spoke.
“And I don’t know… I don’t want to be the one who has to beg when I see him, you know? I just want him to be the same old Seaweed Brain that I lost.” She explained, and Piper understood. It wasn’t just the fact that she’d lost him, it was the fear that she had lost him forever .
“Maybe he will be. We don’t know until we get there, right?” She asked, and Annabeth’s lips turned downward. No. That was the opposite of what PIper had been trying to do, maybe she wasn’t built for this.
“Yeah, but at the rate that the ship is being built, and with having to travel? Gods Piper… that could take months.” That would be hard. Not knowing when you could see him next… God, Piper went through that all the time with her dad and it fucking sucked .
“Okay. And in that time, what are you going to do to keep yourself from spiraling?” Piper asked, and Annabeth shrugged.
“I don’t know… I guess I haven’t given it too much thought. I’ve been so wrapped up in Percy going missing that I haven’t had the mental capacity to truly think about anything else… like, I haven’t showered in four days.” Annabeth said, and Piper frowned. Yeah, that was pretty bad… but that one was easily fixed.
“Okay. Step one. Go take a shower.” Piper said, and Annabeth shook her head. That was non-negotiable, she needed to shower.
“No, because then I’m alone with my thoughts.” Annabeth said. Hm. That made sense, that wasn’t something that Annabeth was probably too keen on right now, she probably wanted to avoid those over going towards them.
“I can sit with you. I’ll turn towards the wall and you can just ramble any and all thoughts you’ve got in your mind about what’s going on in your head right now.” She offered, and Annabeth’s eyes softened at that, like it was the nicest thing she’d heard anyone offer her in a while… Piper thought it simply made sense. Buddy system, then you can never truly be alone with your own thoughts, right?
“ Are you sure?” She asked, and Piper nodded, holding out her hand.
“Yeah, absolutely. Come on.”
“Okay… Let me just grab my stuff.” She grasped Piper’s hand “ready.” She pulled Annabeth into the showers, and stopped in her tracks at the herd of Ares girls standing around, talking loudly at each other. They were sweaty, probably just coming from training… one of them locked eyes with Piper and for a moment she truly thought she might be done for. One punch and she would be severely concussed.
“Hey! We’re using the showers right now-.” Piper smiled at them, making some of them falter immediately.
“No, I think you should go and train some more. I think it’d be a good idea.” She said, and the group blinked before one of them cleared their throats, glancing around to all the others, straightening up like she’d just had a very original idea.
“Oh. Ha, you know… you’re right. Back to training! We can shower later.” One of them said, and they filed out, with Annabeth on their tail. Piper reached out and grabbed her by the back of her shirt, reeling her back into the showers. That was not what she meant to do at all.
“Not you.” Piper said, and Annabeth shook her head, like she came out of a stupor.
“Huh?” She asked, and Piper gave her a small smile. She needed to learn if there was a way to hone this, to only direct it at people who needed to hear it so that they would stop doing something.
“You were following them. Not you.” She explained, and Annabeth sighed and nodded, shaking her head at herself.
“Right. You’re just very persuasive, I guess I fell under it.” Annabeth said, and PIper turned to the wall with a snort, letting Annabeth undress in peace.
“I’ll get you earplugs or something.” She said, and this made Annabeth let out a scoff, as though the mere idea was ridiculous to her. Piper thought it was ingenious, it could keep Annabeth from following the wrong commands.
“I’ve resisted a siren call, Piper. I think I’ll be fine.” She said, and Piper furrowed her brows.
“Huh?”
“Okay, so I didn’t really resist it, but I didn’t go fully toward it.” Annabeth explained, and Piper shook her head, snapping her fingers . Annabeth needed to be under the running water before she could continue her story, otherwise they would be in here all day.
“Shower and talk at the same time. Multitask.” Piper insisted, and the shower was on a moment later.
“Right. So, when I was thirteen, Percy and I followed Clarisse on her quest to find the golden fleece, and we had to sail through the Sea of Monsters and past sirens. I made Percy cork up his ears with wax, like in the myth… but I wanted to know what they sounded like. I wanted to see what they had in store for me. So I had him tie me to a pole and promise to not let me go no matter what I did.” She said, and Piper’s heart dropped at the thought of that. She would’ve probably let Annabeth go, because she knew how much it hurt to have to beg for something you wanted… quality time, your ideal future… you name it, Piper understood the feeling of deep want for something you may never have. The trick would work on her.
“That sounds incredibly dangerous.” Piper said, and she half expected a slap to the back of the head or something, but Annabeth simply muttered something in agreement before speaking.
“It was . And he didn’t let me go… I cut myself free.” Annabeth explained, and Piper’s eyes widened. It took everything in her power to not swing her head around and give Annabeth the most shocked look she could manage, but she knew that this was the wrong time and place.
“ What?! ” She asked, hoping her tone got through enough.
“Dagger. I kept it on me, and when he wasn’t looking, I cut myself free.. He got me back on the boat, but it was… very tempting.” Annabeth sighed, as if she was wistful for the time that she could have had… the only time she would’ve actually had, Piper knew, was certain fucking death . “I can resist your charmspeak, is what I’m trying to say.” That was not the most convincing story of that, but Piper could run with it.
“We’ll make sure you build up a tolerance, Chase. I don’t want you walking into any fights unarmed when I charmspeak monsters.” Piper said, and that was only half a joke. She’d only known Annabeth a week, but it felt like she was destined to be in her life, like the thought of her getting hurt filled her with dread. But it made Annabeth laugh, so Piper played off the feelings of doubt.
“Right, of course.”
“How are you feeling?” She asked, and Annabeth let out a heavy sigh. God, it was hot in here… how was Annabeth’s skin not burning off from the temperature of that shower?
“Right now? I don’t know, I guess I’m distracted enough to just… feel. I feel empty. Like there’s a hole in my heart. He fills that hole, Piper.” Piper couldn’t help the snort that came from her nose with the choice of wording. “ Don’t laugh .” Annabeth snapped, and Piper couldn’t stop herself from letting out a cackle. It wasn’t even that funny, but something about Annabeth’s reaction made it fucking hilarious .
“Sorry… Fills that hole . It’s funny.” She snorted, and Annabeth let out a sigh, like she was disappointed, though Piper doubted that was true.
“Gods Piper, are you twelve?” She could hear the smile in her voice. Can’t hide anything for too long .
“No. But I am admittedly childish, so this should not have been a shocking response.” She reminded her, and Annabeth took a moment to respond, like she was crafting the perfect one in her mind. She probably did that a lot, being the daughter of Athena and all… probably thought a lot before she spoke.
“Actually… That was nice.” She was silent for a moment, but Piper knew there was more to what she was going to say. “Reminded me of how Percy would’ve reacted.” For some reason, that made Piper’s heart squeeze.
“Really?” Obviously Percy had to be funny… no one was that well liked for simply being handsome and winning a war, humor had to factor in.
“Yeah. I think you two will get along quite well once you actually meet.” “Either that or it’ll be like introducing matches to a trail of gasoline.” Annabeth sighed, and Piper felt her heart drop as she turned the water off. She could be destructive… it was more likely than not that she and Percy would fight… making friends wasn’t exactly her forte.
“Deadly.” She murmured.
“Mhm.” Annabeth cleared her throat.“Hey, can you pass me my towel?” Annabeth asked, and Piper nodded, grabbing it off the hook in front of her.
“Sure.” She passed it back blindly, letting Annabeth take it from her hand. A few moments later, she felt a tap on her shoulder that she could turn around, and she saw Annabeth pulling up her pants, standing in a gray sports bra. “Feel better?” She asked, and Annabeth nodded, giving her an almost-genuine smile. Almost genuine was better than completely false, right?
“Yeah. I at least feel human again… Even if I am a hollow shell of one at the moment.” Annabeth said, and Piper gave her a warm smile, reaching out to take her hand. Part of her heart ached at how many scars she saw etched into Annabeth’s body. She was far too damaged for a sixteen year old .
“You’ll get back to yourself. I promise.” She said, and then Annabeth got a look on her face, like every puzzle piece she’d been juggling fell into place.
“I got it.” That could mean a million different things.
“Got what?”
“When I start to spiral… I can talk to someone. Someone like…” Annabeth faltered, clearly not keen on making an assumption. But Piper didn’t mind, because she knew what she was going to say.
“Me.” Piper finished, and Annabeth nodded, but still had a conflicted look in her eyes. She hated accepting help, that was something that Piper was starting to realize about her. It made Annabeth feel vulnerable, and if what she was understanding was correct, Annabeth had been hurt by being vulnerable a lot more than she’d been helped.
“But only if you want to take that on. I don’t want to assume-.” She didn’t. That was the entire thing, Annabeth didn’t assume.
“I like talking to you. It wouldn’t be a problem, and if I ever need a break I can just let you know.” Piper said, and that seemed to put Annabeth at ease as she buttoned her jeans and reached for her t-shirt. Piper found it funny that she’d put on her necklace before her shirt… Come to think of it, she might have even showered with it on, Piper had no earthly idea either way.
“That would help a lot. Not keeping it inside of me and letting it fester will probably make me feel less… resentful? I feel guilty for feeling resentful because it’s obviously not like he chose this, but it still lingers.” Annabeth explained, and Piper nodded. That made sense, she could objectively see that Percy hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d never asked to be swapped with someone he didn’t know, but she was still allowed to feel abandoned. Piper got a feeling that Annabeth, for as strong as she was, had a lot of trauma around being left behind and being double crossed.
“Naturally.” She said, and Annabeth looked like she was going to say something else, but then a startled look was on her face as she finished pulling her shirt over her head and grabbed Piper’s hand.
“Fuck, we have to get to the meeting.” Annabeth said, as if she was coming back into herself enough to be able to feel the correct passage of time again. Piper had always had vicious time blindness, so she was used to being late… or early… mostly late.
“Mhm.” She let Annabeth pull her across the camp to the Big House and into the meeting room. All eyes were on them in a moment. She met Jason’s eye and he gave her a little wave. Two chairs sat empty next to him. Sweet .
“Nice of you two to finally join us…” Clarrisse glanced between them, looking mildly impressed. Her eyes settled on Piper, a glint in them… no anger, though. That was a good sign, she’d been warned about Clarisse’s temper. “Damn, you got Wise Girl to shower? Must be those magic words.” She said, her crooked smirk making Piper’s stomach lurch. Something about the idea that she’d charmspeaked Annabeth into showering with her there… it made her feel gross, even though that was not what she did.
“I didn’t charmspeak her, if that’s what you mean. I just… supported her.” Piper said, and that was true. She hadn’t used her charmspeak, to her knowledge, at all to get Annabeth to shower. She’d simply offered to hear what she had to say, to be there to catch her ramblings and comment on them.
“Well, either way… good to have you back in commission, Chase.” Clarisse grunted, and Annabeth looked almost nauseous taking her compliment. Right. The bad blood… which was mostly just neutral blood now, but she doubted it felt comfortable for her to accept a compliment from someone she’d fought with so much over the years.
“Thanks.”
“So, as we were discussing…” Piper tuned out most of the meeting, nodding along to what was being said… she was sure it was important, but right now she was more worried about Annabeth. Sure, the shower had helped her clear her mind and had gotten the grime of the hunt off her body… but her eyes were still hollow, and the bags under them were deep and dark, like she hadn’t slept in days. As if reading her mind, Annabeth slumped forward, resting her head on her forearms. Clarisse glanced over, and Piper thought for a moment that she saw worry in her face, but she wrote it off. Everyone looked worried about Annabeth, and rightfully so. Piper brought her hand up, rubbing softly across Annabeth’s upper back before she leaned forward.
“You can rest your head on me, you know.” She murmured, and Annabeth looked up at her from where she’d rested her head on her own forearms. Yeah, sleeping in that position could be comfortable for a bit, but Annabeth was going to wake up sore if she didn’t move.
“You sure?” She asked, and Piper nodded with a small smile. Of course she was sure, she wouldn’t have offered if she wasn’t sure.
“Pretty sure my shoulder is like, 1000% more comfortable than the table. Lean on me.” Piper whispered, and Annabeth gave her a smile, a grateful one as she leaned in, resting the side of her face against Piper’s shoulder.
“Thanks.”
“Mhm.”