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Max stared down at her tape, trying to figure out how to fix it again so she wouldn’t have to get a new one. She would ask her mom, but she and Neil were spending the night at a motel for their anniversary apparently. So, sadly, it was only her and Billy. Then again she wasn’t even sure if Billy had stayed considering she hadn’t even heard music playing from his room like it usually did. Still, it didn’t hurt to try she supposed. She stepped tentatively to his door, hesitating as she strained to hear any sound coming from behind the rickety wooden door. To her surprise, it sounded like..sniffles? Was Billy crying? Should she come back later? Or should she go in and see what was wrong? As much as a dick as Billy was, she had never heard him cry, at least not openly. To be honest, she didn’t think he was much more capable of being anything more than an asshole to everything and everyone around him.
Cautiously, she pushed the door open, the old hinges creaking in protest. She was met with the sight of Billy sitting in the middle of the floor, eyes wide and puffy, cheeks stained with tears. She wasn’t surprise in the slightest when he lashed out, a poor mask of rage falling over his features as he yelled, “Get the fuck out, you little bitch! Can’t you mind your own fucking business for once?” Max wasn’t fooled. Especially not when his voice cracked and he shook like a leaf in the fall breeze.
She set down the cassette on his dresser, coming closer to her step-brother despite every nerve ending in her body screaming at her that she shouldn’t. But Billy didn’t touch her when she sat down on the floor next to him. He actually flinched away from her, as if she was covered in thorns. Max wasn’t sure why she was being so nice, especially not after how Billy treats her, yet, she understood. If Neil hurt her as much as he did Billy she might be the same way. Something no one ever did, she realized, was be kind to Billy. So even as Billy spit and cussed at her, trying to back away from her as she grew closer, she hugged him. Not loosely either. She hugged him in that bone crushing way that was impossible to escape but felt safe.
And Billy froze. Then he began to shake. Then he began to sob. Sobs that crushed Max’s heart with each hiccup and gasp for breath as he clinged back onto her for dear life. Like she’d float into the stars if he didn’t, or he’d wake up only to find that he was dreaming it all. Billy wasn’t so scary once you peeled back the mask it seemed. It was like a snake. He was far more scared of you than you were of him.
Billy was scared of care, in any form. Even then, he wasn’t sure what love was. Love was like a window to a beautiful world that it felt like only he couldn’t see. Like someone taped a picture of a barren wasteland over the window so he couldn’t see. Love was a word corrupted by years of betrayal and pain. He sneered at couples as he thought about how they would never last because that’s all he’s ever been shown. Love is an empty word and people are always out to get something. They twist you around their thumb just long enough to get what they want until they cast you off for a new one, like a ring that's too small for any of your fingers.
Max dragged him up to his feet, which was harder than she thought it would be since he was trembling so badly. By sheer willpower and stubbornness, she wrestled him over to the couch so she could turn on some random late night soap for some background noise while she made them both a sandwich and grabbed two cokes. Coming back to Billy, seeing him crumpled in on himself, it made her wonder if Billy was ever the narcissistic asshole he made himself out to be. Looking at him now as she tried to coax him to eat, he just seemed like a little boy again. Lonely and scared, wondering why everyone was so mean.
It made her pull Billy back into another hug, even as he started to cry again. He ended up falling asleep like that. A half eaten sandwich in his lap, curls a tangled mess, eyes raw and puffy,and yet he seemed somewhat happier. Like he had some hope knowing Max didn’t hate him. She grinned as she slowly fell asleep there, too, assuring herself that she’d wake up earlier so she could clean up for him, even though Neil wouldn’t be home till late. It was better safe than sorry. She could keep Billy’s secret for him. She didn’t mind.
No matter how much that leaf shakes, she won’t give up on it. Not for anything in the entire damned world.