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After Goose’s funeral, Maverick had never felt so exhausted. It was something that a full day of training, PT, or flying could ever make him feel. No, this exhaustion was something soul crushing in a way that Maverick had never expected.
“No, no! I want Daddy! I want my Daddy!”
Maverick stood straight as he heard little Bradley’s voice. He looked over his shoulder to see Bradley trying to pull away from his mother’s grasp as he frantically pointed toward the burial plot that Goose’s casket had already been lowered into. His little hand shook as he cried out, tears running down his cheeks.
‘I can’t leave him like this,’ Maverick thought as he turned and walked back over, hands in his suit pockets. Wind whipped at his cheeks and stung them. The slight discomfort was something that he craved, as it distracted him from what he was about to do.
“No! I want Daddy,” Bradley screamed even as Maverick came to kneel beside him.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Maverick rested his hands on Bradley’s shoulders while nodding to Carole, who looked a moment away from breaking down yet again. “I got him.”
Reluctantly, Carole pulled away and left the two alone. A hand was brought up to her face to muffle the sobs as she walked away, head bowed.
Maverick sighed as he fought his own rising emotions to regard the boy in front of him.
“I want my Daddy,” Bradley cried as he looked up to Maverick expectantly.
Maverick felt his heart drop into his stomach as he pulled him close and wrapped him in a hug, feeling him sob against his chest. Small fists struck his shoulders, strength surprisingly behind them for a boy so small.“I know, and I’m so, so sorry.”
Bradley continued to cry for a few minutes until he finally seemed to tire himself out and went limp in Maverick’s arms. Maverick continued to hold him close, fingers threading through his hair, knowing damn well that Goose would never again be able to hold his son like this, to offer him comfort. Maverick felt the pain overwhelm him as he whispered reassurances against the side of Bradley’s head, hoping that it would calm him.
Maverick was so lost in his grief that he didn’t realize Carole coming closer and kneeling down, a hand coming to rest on his back. He instinctively pulled back and tucked Bradley closer to his chest protectively, a wild look in his eyes when he regarded the person that had disturbed him.
“It’s just me,” Carole whispered as she rested a hand on the side of his face before reaching out to thread her fingers through Bradley’s hair. “I got him.”
Maverick appeared reluctant, still holding Bradley tightly.
“It’s getting late and he needs to get to bed. You’re more than welcome to come back with us,” Carole offered softly.
Maverick thought for a moment as his gaze scoured the cemetery to see a familiar face leaning against a car, looking in his direction with piercing blue eyes.
“Thank you, but there’s something I have to do tonight. Is it alright if I stop by tomorrow?”
“You never have to ask, Maverick. You’re always welcome.” Carole offered him a kind and tired smile as she scooped Bradley up easily and carried him back to their car, the young boy curled in her arms.
Maverick watched them go until he felt himself rise to his full height and walk across the cemetery to the familiar man that was looking at him with a mixture of grief and pity.
“Don’t you give me that look, Ice,” Maverick snapped with eyes narrowed.
Ice blinked his eyes slowly. “And what look would that be?”
“You know damn well!”
Ice remained surprisingly quiet as he watched Maverick nearly rip the passenger door off its hinges as he opened the door, sliding in and slamming the door just as quickly.
Sighing, Ice opened the driver’s side door and sat down, door closing after him. He held the keys close to the ignition but didn’t start it, attention instead on Maverick.
Maverick shot him a glare, top lip curling. “What the hell are you waiting for? Just drive!”
“I can’t do that yet,” Ice told him softly. “Not until you’re a hell of a lot calmer.”
“I am calm!” Maverick clutched both of his hands into fists and Ice saw the facade beginning to drop. Maverick’s eyes were glistening in unshed tears and his body was shaking. He was right at the tip of a breakdown, that much Ice was sure of.
Ice nodded slowly. “No, you’re not. You’re not calm, and you’re not okay....and that’s okay, Mav.”
“You have no idea how I feel. Just—get out of my head.”
“Mav—“
Suddenly, Maverick shot out a fist and slammed it down on the dash. A strangled cry left his lips as he brought both hands up to his mouth and screamed. It was a blood curdling sound that Ice had never heard anyone make before, let alone the carefree and reckless Maverick. A chill rushed down Ice’s spine as he regarded the smaller man thoughtfully, grief sparkling in his own gaze.
Maverick continued screaming until he ran out of breath. His body slumped against the door as he panted, chest rising and falling frantically. Horror was etched across Maverick’s face, the realization that Goose was dead and never coming back finally weighing down on him like never before.
“Why did it have to be you?! It should’ve been me! You had a wife and a son and now they’re alone. Why did it fucking have to be you?!”
Ice winced as he reached out and rested a hand on Maverick’s shoulder.
Maverick was quick to brush him off, but Ice was persistent and kept the steady pressure until Maverick leaned into it instead of away. “Pete,” Ice whispered.
Maverick looked up, eyes haunted. “He’s gone and it’s all my fault.”
Ice shook his head gravely and reached out to pull Maverick close. To his surprise, Maverick didn’t hesitate to lunge forward and press his head into Ice’s chest as he began to sob, entire body tensing while his arms wrapped around Ice’s middle and squeezed as tightly as possible. Ice wrapped his own arms around Maverick’s head and shoulders, murmuring soothingly against his left ear as his fingers danced through his hair and down his neck.
“I know it hurts,” Ice whispered, feeling his own throat constrict in grief. “But it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident....a horrible, tragic accident.”
Maverick only sobbed harder, pressing himself even deeper into Ice as though trying to become one with him. His cries only grew stronger as he screamed out in anguish once more.
Ice rested his chin atop Maverick’s head, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his own cheeks. He hadn’t expected to be this emotional, but seeing Maverick so vulnerable and hurting awoke something in Ice that he didn’t even know he possessed. They may not see eye to eye on next to anything, but the last thing that Ice wanted was for Maverick to hurt like this.
“Take me instead! Please, don’t take Goose.”
Ice swallowed thickly. “Goose is already gone, Mav. He’s gone.”
Maverick hiccuped as he resumed crying, tears soaking through Ice’s suit. Ice kept his grasp firm around Maverick, trying his best not to break down the same way that Maverick was. The younger man needed him to be calm and steadfast, not an emotional wreck like Maverick was.
Ice squeezed his eyes tightly while his heart ached in his chest. He could remember feeling this sort of pain before, and now that he felt it, he wanted to do anything to rid himself of it.
“Goose is gone and never coming back, and I am so so sorry.”