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Tim had been complaining about his job for years at this point, which, entirely fair, but he hadn’t actually done anything about it for all that time.
That was, until on patrol, he’d just finished off another rant about what Jenkins on the board had said this time, and someone did something other than commiserate.
That was, while on their stakeout over a bank that eventually went nowhere, Jason offered Tim a slightly squashed donut from his pocket, and asked, “Why don’t you just quit then?”
---
Jason had thought nothing of that, until three days later, in front of everyone at the Saturday family brunch, Tim finished typing something on his ever present laptop, sent whatever it was to the printer that was on top of the fridge for some reason, and handed it over to Bruce with a smile on his face.
“What’s this, sunshine?” Bruce asked his middle son.
“I’m quitting.”
Bruce choked on his coffee.
“From the company, not from the vigilante business.” Tim clarified.
“Wha-What?”
“I figured it was time to pass it back to you.” Tim smiled, almost challenging Bruce to say no to him.
Bruce nodded, “I’ll… go… well. Good for you, Tim. What are you planning to do now?”
“Well, I’m not even old enough to drink, and I’ve already retired from being the CEO to a multi-billion dollar company, I have no idea. Where does life go from here?”
The rest of the family just stared at Tim in shock, until the silence was broken by peals of laughter from Jason.
---
Dick decided that Tim, newly freed from his duties, should go out and socialise and party.
Well, that’s what Dick decided, but by the time evening actually rolled around, it had devolved to just Dick, Jason, and Tim hanging out in Jason’s flat instead of some kind of bar.
Duke had ducked out, not just because he was even younger than Tim, but because someone would have to babysit Mar’i tonight if Dick was joining in, and well, Batman still had patrol tonight.
“You got the goods, Dick?” Jason said, opening the door to reveal Tim already sitting on the sofa midway through a game of Mario Cart that Jason had already somehow completed.
“Of course!” He held up a few bags of clinking tins and bottles.
“Good. You’re not too worried about ‘corrupting a minor’ or whatever, right?”
Dick sighed, setting the bag down beside a seething and swearing Tim who managed to somehow derail his cart on screen again.
“Lay off on that, Jason, you know I haven’t been a cop who cared about that in years.”
“It’s our job to remind you of such bad decisions, as younger brothers.” Tim announced, finally giving up on the game and just turning the television off.
Dick rolled his eyes but complained no further over that, deciding not to contest such a thing for fear of disputing the brothers part too.
Jason handed Tim a small glass of liquid, to which he looked up questionly.
“Haven’t you seen a shot before, replacement?”
“Of course I have!” Tim snapped back, before downing it, and choking on the slight burn.
“To Tim’s newfound freedom!” Jason raised a shot glass of his own, passing one to Dick.
“To Tim. Don’t you think you’re starting the night a little strong with straight vodka immediately Jason.”
“No, Besides, finally tell Bruce to screw himself and quitting requires celebration, right!”
It didn’t take long to get to the stage of drinking where they all said “fuck Bruce”, and surprisingly little time for Tim to start to get a little melancholy.
“You know, I have no clue where to go from here. Already peaked and retired at 20, isn’t that sad?” Tim said, looking up at the ceiling.
“Timbo, you’re living the dream, no responsibilities that young?”
Tim just flopped back on the sofa, finished his glass, sighed and stared at the ceiling. “Says you. I have no plans outside of being Red Robin, beyond knowing I should quit that- you’ve both got a handle on it, and-”
“Should’ve figured you’d be a mopey drunk.”
“It only took half an hour even.” Dick sounded somewhat amazed.
“It’s been three hours, Dick, don’t you have a watch?” Jason had a sudden brainwave. “You say no plans- but there’s got to be something.”
“Nope.”
“I don’t mean current plans, hey, why not follow some childhood dreams, you’ve got the whole rest of your life. Check off baby Timmy’s bucket list or whatever.”
“Oh that’s a great idea Jason!” Dick nodded approvingly, which would be the right reaction if Jason was giving a pep talk to him and not to their other brother who was right there.”
“What’s this about you two being enthusiastic about childhood dreams? You’re being such hypocrites I bet neither of you have thought about yours in years, and-“
Jason snorted, butting in, “Well, I am working on mine.”
“You are?” Tim and Dick asked at the same time.
“Do not tell Bruce, but, I’ll be starting university in the fall. I’m going to become an English teacher. So- can’t use us as an excuse. And, probably Dick too, all he dreams about is flips and shit, I assume as long as he gets to do somersaults he’s happy.”
“Hey!” Dick protested. “You’re right, but still!”
Tim gave Jason a look. “Ugh- All I wanted as a kid were daydreams, alright? I can’t do them now. That, and my parents to be proud of me. But that’s impossible too now, right?”
Tim leaned forward, about to grab something from the table, but Dick stopped him from it. “Okay- hey, maybe, we should cut you off for the night, alright?”
Jason nodded in agreement, and passed Tim a glass of soda as he spoke, “Well then, what were those dumb daydreams. I’m sure they’re not that bad, we promise not to be too dickish about it, don’t we, Dick?”
“Ugh, well, I wanted to be a housewife, not gonna lie.”
Dick had a mildly confused look on his face, as he cautiously spoke, “Tim… you’re a boy- wouldn’t you be a house-husband? Not a house-wife?”
Tim, with the blunt confidence and talking down to you in a way at only someone who isn’t fully sober can have, said, “Don’t be sexist, Dick, I can be a boy and a housewife if I want to.”
“Do you want to?” Jason asked.
“Of course, but like, I need a husband first, and that’s not happening anytime soon.”
“Why not?” Jason asked, confusion in his voice.
“Okay, let’s be constructive here,” Dick cut in, “What do you want to get from that- I’m sure we can figure out a path from that- like, is it the-“
“Dick, he’s sloshed as hell, let’s maybe wait til he’s sober before we start the career planning, alright?”
Dick sighed, “You’re right.”
“I’m always right. Anyway, I didn’t realize Timbits here was such a lightweight.”
“It is unexpected.”
“Hey!”
“So, we should ask Tim who he had a crush on at that age, figure out who he wanted to be married to, we can hunt them down and set Timmy up on a date, gotta fulfil those childhood dreams, you know?”
Dick nodded, plans obviously already passing through his head.
“So, Timmy, who did you have a crush on then?”
Tim completing uncaring to the bombshell he was dropping, revealed immediately, in notable present tense, “I have a crush on Robin.”
At Dick’s horrified expression, he quickly tacked on a, “No, not that Robin.”
“Please, please say Steph.” Dick begged.
“No, not Steph, it’s Jason, of course,” Then beamed out a smile, his previous brief melancholy completely forgotten as Dick took visible instant psychic damage, and Jason choked on his drink.
“Oh really?” Jason asked, as soon as he’d recovered.
“Tim, please say you’re joking? Jason- you know better than to encourage him.”
“Why would I be joking?” Tim asked, confused as if he could actually see no answer to that.
“Because- because-“
Jason took this opportunity to intervene. “Okay, I think you’ve had enough, maybe, it’s beddy-bye time for Timmy.”
Timmy nodded, but as he stood up, wobbling slightly, he asked with wide eyes, “Will Robin be joining me?”
Dick made a strangled noise.
Jason paused for a second, reaching forward to stop Tim swaying, “Maybe Robin will when you’re not drunk.”
Tim nodded, and let himself get tucked into the spare bedroom without complaint.
---
Tim’s necessary-for-corporate 7am alarm went off, telling him he had to get up and get ready, and he first regretted forgetting to turn it off, and then got hit with a greater regret.
That was, a hangover.
He groaned, and flopped himself back onto the bed, shoving his head under the pillow.
Jason opened the door to the room, “Morning, Tim!”
Tim made a muffled noise that even he wasn’t quite sure of what it was, but rolled up to glare at Tim anyway.
“Coffee?” Jason asked.
“Why are you up so early?”
“Yes.” Jason said, as if that made any sense at all. “Coffee?”
“Sure.”
“Good, it’s on the kitchen table.”
Tim glared, but followed Jason out of the warmth and dim light to get the precious, precious caffeine.
“Hi,” Dick waved, plate and mug already empty in front of him somehow.
“Dick.” Tim greeted.
“Well, if you’re up, I’ll be heading off then. Jason, behave.”
Jason rolled his eyes, and set a plate of toast and another mug of coffee in front of Tim.
“Wait, you’re leaving?”
“I’ve got to go pick Mar’i up from Duke, get her ready for school.”
“But it’s early.”
“I am an actual responsible adult, you do know that, right?” Dick said, standing up, and heading towards the door. “Bye, Tim.”
Jason threw himself down onto the chair Dick had just left, and sighed at the door he’d left open. “I didn’t go to sleep last night, actually.” Jason announced.
“And people call me the family insomniac.”
Jason shrugged.
Tim stuffed his mouth full of toast.
Jason took that exact moment to speak. “So… about last night?”
Tim choked, and did his best to stop crumbs going into his lungs and also speak as soon as possible. “You can forget what I said last night.”
“Okay, I can. If you want.”
“Good.”
“Or, if you want, I could remember what you said, and take you out on a date?”
“What?” Tim immediately was fully awake.
“Or not-“
“Yes- absolutely-“
“Awww, does Timmy still want to become Robin’s housewife-“
“Yes. Well, Red Hood now, but-“
Jason leaned over the table, and kissed him, cutting Tim off midway.
He tasted like tea, with honey added, and Tim kissed him back, before suddenly pulling away.
“This is all very nice, and I do like you very much- but I also have a hangover right now, and might throw up.”
“Thanks for the warning. Need more coffee?”
“I’ll have what you’re having.”