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Zhuo Zhi has bitterly accepted that he’ll never have Siyang.
Siyang, on the other hand, has such faith in the immovable object in his life that is Zhuo Zhi, that he has never even for a second doubted him ever leaving.
But sometimes things get a little too much for Zhuo Zhi, so he starts to slowly detach in some things. He stays later than usual for practice, leaves earlier for lunch to “have it with his brother” without even a single word spoken about it to Siyang.
Weird. Zhuo Zhi would tell him if something happened, right?
Right.
But then things start getting more obvious. Zhuo Zhi rejects his request for accompanying him to fish, and rushes home after practice without so much as a goodbye.
It breaks Siyang’s routines, and it leaves him flabbergasted.
Zhuo Zhi, who would tease Siyang for always neatly packing his lunch like an old lady, who would always complain about how fishing was so boring he didn’t understand how his captain could genuinely enjoy it, but would still go even if he was dragging his feet all the way to the bridge. Zhuo Zhi, who would accompany Siyang to the corner where they would part ways, a few blocks separating each other’s houses.
No, something was going on with Zhuo Zhi, but Siyang couldn’t tell what.
At first, he thought it was something that had to do with Zhuo Yu, his brother who he was fiercely trying to rekindle with, but after awkwardly asking Lu Xia, he knew Zhuo Yu was not the cause of this. Ah Yu had no current frustrations that hadn’t been talked about with his gege.
And so, Siyang was first left with an uncomfortable realisation and a bitter taste in his mouth. Zhuo Zhi was avoiding him.
He doesn’t know why, and he would think that Zhuo Zhi would simply come up to him and tell him what was wrong, being as blunt as he was. Now, Siyang wasn’t a busybody, and he respected that Zhuo Zhi was clearly keeping something from him, but something about it made him nervous, anxious.
It made him pace in his bedroom and invaded his thoughts in class, he’d even sneak glances at the shorter man every now and then, but Zhuo Zhi seemed not to notice, or at least pretended not to. in reality, Zhuo Zhi did very much notice, and it made him nervous that Siyang knew about his feelings, so his solution was to simply spend as little time with him as he absolutely had to, lest he crack under the pressure and pour his heart out in the midst of their silent walks home.
The taller man knew he had to do something.
He set on a very embarrassing and awkward quest; ask people who would know. Now, when Qiao Chen was approached by his captain in the middle of lunch, he almost died from the fright. Well into his twelfth hamburger, the younger was terrified his captain would make him do more laps than usual for not sticking to Ahn’s specially-designed diet (which contained less hamburgers and more broths and vegetables).
What he did not expect was for his xuezhang to awkwardly shuffle from foot to foot and try to make some sort of small talk
“Those are uh… a lot of hamburgers, are they uhm... are they good?” Qiao Chen looked at Siyang like he had grown three heads
“Xuezhang did you come here just to ask me about my hamburgers?” he could not believe his eyes when Siyang suddenly grew red and looked away “uhm actually I wanted to ask if you knew if anything was going on in Zhuo Zhi’s life that might be… troubling him.”
At this Qiao Chen grins “Ah, my dearest captain, troubles in paradise, eh? Well, I can’t say that he has anything going on, he seems pretty normal to me. He hasn’t mentioned anything about having any troubles and Lu Xia says Zhuo Yu has no news on him either, xiao Yu thinks his gege is actually pretty boring outside of tennis” he laughs.
Siyang scowls at the first phrase but nods regardless “Thank you.”
“No prob, anything for our beloved captain and his right-hand man!”
Siyang shuffles awkwardly a bit “Right. Yes.”
They stare at each other a bit more before Qiao Chen hesitantly offers him a burger
(a sign of true respect and admiration if you ask him) before Siyang kindly refuses and makes his leave.
Okay, so Zhuo Zhi doesn’t have anything going on in his life that could disturb him that the team or his family seem to know about. He would ask Jiale, but he said something about a “bro code” and how “you shouldn’t tell other’s secrets for them” last time Zhuo Zhi kept something from him (a present for his birthday, a new set of lures Siyang holds dearly to his heart). Which meant that there was only one reason why Zhuo Zhi could be avoiding his very interaction— he, himself.
He had obviously done something to upset the other, and he had no idea what to do about it. It’s not like he could just go up to him and ask, either. Not only did he have no idea how to approach the shorter man, he also had his pride to think about. His stupid, well-deserved pride, which told him that he had nothing to apologise for, that he had done nothing wrong at all, that Zhuo Zhi was probably just in his reclusive moods where he would go to the park and photograph nature for some days and then he’d be back to normal.
Oh, how wrong he was.
Two more weeks passed.
An entire month, and not a single word from Zhuo Zhi, barely even a polite smile, not even his usual self-satisfied mischievous smirk.
That’s it. he couldn’t take it any longer.
That’s how he found himself after hours in the locker room, everyone having left but him and Zhuo Zhi, who was taking his sweet time in the shower.
And so, he sat on the bench, waiting for his best friend to emerge from the showers’ changing room so he could finally confront him on his immobilising absence.
When Zhuo Zhi finally emerged into the locker room he was surprised, to say the least. Siyang, who has always been proper and gentle, standing straight at all times, was curved in on himself, looking defeated, with hands running through the sides of his hair almost like he was holding his head in place.
Suddenly, a wave of guilt rushed through him, he didn’t expect him to look this bad, but it was something he had done for himself, and he did not regret guarding his emotions in the face of disappointment.
As Zhuo Zhi stops to assess his captain, he sighs, alerting Siyang that he’d finally be able to get his answers. He stood up straight.
“Zhuo Zhi.”
Zhuo Zhi stared right back.
“Siyang.”
Nonchalant as always.
“You’ve been avoiding me”
“Mmm” Zhuo Zhi simply limits himself to putting away his things and zipping closed his racket bag.
“Is it something I did?” He asks dejectedly, voice barely trembling.
Zhuo Zhi stops, sighs, and looks at Siyang; eyes flickering between each of his, scanning his face as if he’s looking for something.
He closes his locker.
“You could say it’s more like something you didn’t do”
He gives a polite smile and slings his racket bag over his shoulder, heading for the exit.
Siyang has never moved this fast.
Blocking the exit, he stands tall. Despite this, his uncharacteristic fidgeting gives him away.
“I don’t want to lose you” he suddenly blurts out, and he looks horrified of himself the second he registers what he just said. Still, he regains a little composure and adds meekly but firmly “being without you this past month has been acerbic and bleak, please come back to me.”
At this, Zhuo Zhi perks up, and a little devious smile makes his way onto his lips.
“My dearest captain,” he steps closer “why do you say such things?” he slips off his racket bag and steps closer and closer, chest against Siyang’s, trapping him against the door and craning his neck up to meet eye to eye.
“You can’t say things like this, you don’t understand the effects they have on me.”
They stare at each other, and with each passing second the tension rises.
“You don’t understand how my heart races whenever you smile, how it seems to be for my eyes only,” He looks at Siyang’s lips and smiles at their slight tremble, “how your presence lights up the room,” He stares back up into the other’s eyes “how your intelligence makes my stomach flutter, and how your stubbornness makes me want to do things that could ruin our relationship forever.”
Zhuo Zhi is whispering at this point.
Mu Siyang, on the other hand, can barely even breathe.
And in a spur of the moment, Siyang leans down and captures his lips in a kiss. It catches Zhuo Zhi by surprise, but he’s quick to follow through. It’s heated and a bit desperate, Siyang is urgently trying to get Zhuo Zhi to understand that he can’t live without him, Zhuo Zhi is trying to process that he is actually kissing the man he’s been in love with for three years. They part for a second, and Siyang is panting, holding Zhuo Zhi’s face with his palms, resting his forehead against the other’s.
At that moment it finally dawns on Zhuo Zhi, and he wants more.
He pulls Siyang down again and they kiss, more mellow this time, taking it slow and pouring all their feelings into it, “I love you” it says, “I can’t live without you” “please don’t ever leave me” “I’ll be with you until the end”. They part again, and Zhuo Zhi suddenly but softly starts chuckling, he mutters something about Jiale being right and owing him an omurice, to which Siyang stares a bit confusedly at. But it’s okay, because they both have each other. They both love each other, and they will never let the other go.
The next day at practice, Jiale cackles and starts collecting money on a bet. Apparently everyone was waiting for when they would realise they both love each other mutually and finally kiss, to which Qiao Chen whines about Jiale having the upper hand because he’s besties with Zhuo Zhi, but pays him nonetheless.
Baiyang just huffs and pays him, going off to stretch properly before beginning his Ahn-proof special program.
Lu Xia acts indifferent but pays him and grumbles a bit drinking his grape Fanta, talking about how he “still has a long way to go” in the matters of understanding his teammates and xuezhangs, smiling a bit at the newly formed couple.
Dayong says he doesn’t have cash but he will invite Jiale to a new cafe that opened, and Jiale jumps on him filled with glee, everyone looking at each other and silently starting a new bet.
Zhuo Zhi smirks while he looks at a scowling but blushing Siyang, who tells the team to run ten extra laps for being nosy and dismissing their training over gossip.
Yan is delighted he finally has something to put on Zhuo Zhi’s section of his tracking journal.