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AJ couldn’t find his nail polish. Hell, he just arrived at this house in London hours ago and was just trying to get settled. He could’ve sworn that it was packed in his luggage, and that he had taken it out at some point after getting here. His bedroom had been flipped upside down at this point, but the bottle of black nail polish was nowhere to be found. AJ debated between yelling at Nick and accusing the man of stealing it as a prank, but as far as he knew, his bandmate had been laying low in that aspect, and more focused on writing songs for the new album.
Maybe it was time to backtrack and trace his steps.
“Okay, um…” he mumbled, looking at his luggage. “…maybe…”
The bag was already opened. AJ rifled through to see what had been taken out already. Clothes, electronics…toiletries. Oh. AJ shuffled to the bathroom that was joined to his room. He eyed the bag that was on the counter, and then zipped it open to find the evasive nail polish bottle sitting at the top of the pile in the bag. Thank god. He did pack it after all. AJ snatched it, and walked back towards the bed to sit down and paint a new coat of polish onto his nails.
As he was twisting open the bottle, something caught his attention. A little dark speck on the floor. He squinted, trying to bring it into focus, because it seemed a bit peculiar for something random like dust or a fluff of cotton from a piece of clothing. It moved ever so slightly, and then AJ recognized what it was.
~~~
“OH GOD! AHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Brian hurriedly put down his guitar on the bed and ran out of his room, making a b-line straight for AJ’s bedroom. He made a quick halt in the doorway.
“What’s wrong?!” Brian asked frantically, taking sight of his bandmate standing on the bed.
“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!” AJ yelled, stopping Brian just as he was about to step into the actual room.
“But why—”
“Just…look down in front of you,” AJ replied shakily.
“HOLY ARACHNID, WHAT IS THAT MONSTROSITY—” Brian jumped at the sight of a spider sitting on the floor in front of him.
“Get up here you idiot!”
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” he shook his head, quickly jumping onto the bed, not once diverting his view of the spider.
AJ clamped a grip onto Brian’s arm. “Look at the little fucker, staring at and mocking us with its beady little eyes,” he pointed.
“Little rascal.” Brian stared down at it, watching the spider not make a single movement.
“Where’s my slipper?” AJ looked around panickedly. He spotted it on the floor on the side of the bed and quickly reached for it.
“Why would you ruin a good slipper with spider guts?” Brian asked.
His bandmate narrowed his eyes and looked at the spider again, which still hadn’t moved at all. “Good point.”
~~~
Kevin was so jet-lagged that it wasn’t even a joke. He waddled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as he struggled to stay awake. It was the morning in London, but still in the middle of the night all the way back in Los Angeles. He started searching, for coffee, tea, something at least. After looking through the mostly barren cabinets and drawers, Kevin scored, finding an unopened package of teabags.
Eventually, a cup of steaming hot tea was being held in Kevin’s hands. He placed it on the kitchen island to let it cool down a little.
Then Kevin thought he heard a train.
He didn’t think there were any railways nearby, or at least none that were visible. Yet still, there was a faint sound of a train horn. Kevin stood there, baffled, but after a few moments or so, he finally registered what the noise actually was and where it was coming from. Just AJ, probably being silly and fooling around with one of the others.
And then…
“CUZZZZZZZZZZZ, KEVINNNNN!!!”
Brian.
“What the hell?” Kevin stared at the stairs and then at the upper part of the house. The sound of a trombone was put on blast a few moments later. Howie walked in at the exact moment too, and Kevin let out a groan, palming his face at the weirdness of this situation.
“Is that a…” Howie walked into the kitchen with his laptop, looked upwards, and weakly pointed at the direction of the sound.
“Yes.” Kevin nodded. Oh boy.
“May…may I ask why?”
“Erm…you know how the fans…ship us? With each other?”
Howie nodded.
“AJ,” Kevin pointed in the direction of…wherever AJ was, “and me.”
“Yes, and?” Howie raised a brow.
“AJ, Bone. Me, Train. Train and Bone, Trombone,” he explained with a sheepish chuckle.
His younger bandmate started laughing. Yep. Completely expected.
“I thought it was Richbone.” Howie teased.
“Please, no, don’t get started on—”
“CUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!” Brian’s voice echoed slightly.
Kevin was so done with whatever the hell his cousin and AJ were even doing. “WHAT, BRIAN?”
His bandmates belted out a cry for help. “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP…”
“Fucking unbelievable,” Howie said quietly with his mouth slightly agape in awe. “They’re actually in tune with each other.”
“I’m impressed, if I’m being honest,” Kevin scoffed.
“Now Kevin, you might be getting trolled by these two knuckleheads.”
“I…learned my lesson from last time,” he grimaced. “I’ve learned that the right way to approach this is to pretend that I’m going to open the door, then I catch them off guard by yelling at the top of my lungs.”
“I dunno.” Howie shrugged. “I mean, who said AJ was going to be the naked one this time? For all we know, it might be Brian.”
“Oh god.” Kevin groaned. He really didn’t need to have that visual.
“I mean, you could just send Nick up there for you, and then he and Brian could have a nice Frick and Frack moment or something,” Howie suggested.
“Nick is in the gym.”
“Oh.”
Kevin sighed. “It’s fine, I’ll just take my loss today.”
“But you almost always end up being at the short end of the stick with their pranks,” Howie pointed out.
“Not like you’re any better off with Nick,” Kevin retorted.
“Shut up.” Howie smiled bashfully, nudging Kevin in the arm.
“KEVIN SCOTT RICHARDSON, GET YOUR ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE THIS SPIDER DEMOLISHES BRIAN AND I!!!”
“Huh. I was wondering who would be the first to see a house spider here,” Howie remarked. “There’s so many cobwebs but not a single spider in sight.”
“KEVIN!” Brian yelled.
“I’M COMING, GODDAMN!” Kevin yelled back, beyond the point of exasperation.
“WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!” His cousin scolded.
“NO, YOU!” Kevin snapped back.
“FUCK YOU!”
“FUCK THE SPIDER!” AJ cried.
“KEVIN IS COMING, STOP YELLING!” Howie demanded.
“WHY?!” AJ asked.
“BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO A SKYPE CALL WITH MY BROTHER FOR OUR BUSINESS, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
“OKAYYYYYYY!”
“Idiots,” Howie muttered.
Kevin walked around the kitchen island to open a drawer. He fished out a small Tupperware container and hummed in satisfaction. Howie tilted his head at him, pursing his lips in confusion.
“Uh, Kev.”
“Hmm?”
“Why…” Howie gestured at the container, “do you have that?”
“To scoop up the spider so that I can take it outside,” Kevin explained.
“It’s a bit small, isn’t it?”
“It’s not a tarantula.” He rolled his eyes. “This isn’t Australia. The little guy probably isn’t even bigger than the tip of my pinky finger.”
“Fair enough.”
“I’ll be back in a few.” Kevin eyed his cooling tea. “Don’t drink that.” He pointed.
Howie glared at the cup.
“Nevermind.” Kevin shook his head. “I’ll just make another cup for myself.”
The shorter man smirked as he stalked off, now on a mission to rescue the damsels in distress.
~~~
AJ couldn’t sit still, and he also hadn’t taken his gaze off of the spider that was somehow still in the same spot on the floor, having not moved at all once in a span of ten minutes. He feared that it would disappear the second he or Brian stopped watching it. Then again, he was just scared it would start crawling any moment now. Which reminded him…
“
“What the hell is taking Kevin so long?”
“He was probably making tea, I dunno.” Brian shrugged. “Can’t blame the man for wanting some nice ‘n’ hot tea after a long flight.”
“Boo hoo,” AJ snorted. “Tea, shmee.”
“Not everyone is a coffee addict, AJ.”
“I’m not Nick.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” Brian rolled his eyes, the tone of his voice anything but apologetic. AJ smacked his bandmate playfully.
Footsteps approached the room.
“Alright, whose room?” Kevin asked, sounding unsure of where to go.
“MINE,” AJ bounced on the bed eagerly as he answered loudly.
Kevin appeared in the doorway. “Stop yelling, Alexander.”
“Fine.”
“Kev, watch your step.” Brian pointed at the ground, and his cousin looked down and stopped just before squishing the arachnid by accident.
“SON OF A BITCH!” Kevin exclaimed, almost flinging the Tupperware container that he was holding out of his hand.
“WHERE IS YOUR WEAPON SIR?!” AJ shouted.
“I wasn’t planning to kill it?!”
AJ pointed at the floor frantically and aggressively. “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE FUCKER!”
Kevin looked down, taking in the spider that was probably smaller than a penny. He flickered his gaze back at AJ and raised a brow. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Ugh, okay.”
“Hurry up!” Brian demanded.
“SHUSH, let me concentrate. I’m just gonna scoop up this fella and take it outside.” He knelt down and positioned the container behind the spider. It shifted.
“EEEKEKDEKDJWKS!!!” AJ and Brian garbled, a shriek and jumbled nonsense.
“Oh shit,” Kevin swore. “Stop moving little guy.”
AJ watched as his bandmate slowly slid the container towards the arachnid. As it got closer, the spider suddenly moved and quickly scuttled up to Kevin, touching the tall man’s foot ever so slightly.
“NO.” He declared, completely startled and shuffling backwards before he hastily got up. Kevin vacated that spot and quickly hopped onto the chair that was occupying a desk’s space in AJ’s room.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” AJ cried.
Kevin shrugged at him, patting the chair. “Getting to a safe spot.”
~~~
Howie sipped the tea, finishing his review of a document that was in his email so that he could give instructions to his brother for the next step of their business plans. He was slightly red in the face from the fact that his sibling had to hear the sounds of his bandmates screaming about the fucking spider. His sibling was smirking. It was fun being a grown man in a boyband, with family who led completely normal lives and never had to deal with four man-children.
“Okay,” Howie tapped his pen against the counter, “We can probably schedule a meeting with the contractors in about a month’s time.”
“Okay, cool. Sounds good,” his brother replied.
“I’ll call you tomorrow then?”
“Sure.”
“Alright then. I’ll talk to you later,” he nodded.
Howie exchanged goodbyes with his brother, then ending the call and closing his laptop with a loud sigh. He rubbed his temples, somewhat exhausted from both the call and having to put up with the weirdness of his bandmates. Howie had to admit that he was a bit impressed at the fact that there hadn’t been any screaming in the past minute, though he had a feeling it would change.
Silence, still.
He glanced at the stairs.
“Okay…maybe I should head out to find a store for some groceries…or take out,” he spoke softly to himself.
A shrill whistle broke his train of thought. The lovely sound of Brian hitting a…high note. Huh. Howie couldn’t remember the last time the man had been able to pull one off, considering his voice problems lately. He guessed Brian was scared enough to muster one on the spot, which in all regards, massive respect. But then he feared that the spider was bigger than he and Kevin had initially thought.
“SWEET D, WE ARE IN NEED OF YOU. WE NEED SUGAR, NOW!” Kevin shouted with heavy desperation in his voice.
Good lord.
“Oh, for fuck’s—” Howie groaned, rubbing his face.
~~~
Boy, Nick was glad that this house had its own gym. He was just itching for some exercise, having not worked out for a week due to the business of the band’s schedule, secretly planning some things and prepping for this trip to London. God, he was a total fitness fanatic now. Not that he was complaining though, it felt good. Nick found himself glowing more often than not.
He was running on the treadmill right now, finding that it was a nice way to destress and get some adrenaline going, hopefully enough to keep him mostly awake for the rest of the day. Music was blasting into his ears from his headphones, because who didn’t enjoy the sounds of epic rapping as motivation to keep pace with the speed of the treadmill?
A hand suddenly yanked at the back of his shirt, startling Nick and nearly causing him to slip and fall. He barely jumped in time to brace himself on the sides. Nick yanked off his headphones and whipped his head to see his disruptor.
“NICK!” Howie shouted.
“Fuck, Howie! What the hell man? You almost made me fall off!” He scolded, turning to switch off the treadmill.
“Upstairs. Spider. Three idiotic men.”
“Really?” Nick scoffed “Kevin couldn’t take care of it?”
Howie sighed. “You’d be surprised, but they were screaming more than the characters in 80’s and 90’s slasher movies.”
“Daaaaaamn,” Nick giggled. “Must be a large boy.”
“But it’s England…Kevin and I can’t imagine a spider being that big…”
“Hey, don’t underestimate my eight-legged homies,” Nick warned.
His bandmate’s mouth opened, then closed. Howie didn’t know how to respond, apparently. It took him a few moments to generate some words. “I— uh. Okay?”
Nick giggled again and raced out of the room to assist his brothers.
~~~
“He’s so slow!” AJ whined.
Brian groaned, “Be patient man!”
“Why the fuck would you want to call Howie to deal with this?”
“Because he’s the sensible one!” Brian argued.
“You dumbasses, he’s not coming right away because he’s on a call with his brother!” Kevin scolded.
“That too!” Brian seconded.
“Oh,” AJ said.
Brian and his cousin facepalmed themselves.
“WHERE ART MY DAMSELS IN DISTRESS?!” Nick shouted.
AJ kneeled up on the bed, wincing when his points ached in protest after sitting in a weird squat for too long. “HERE, BITCH.”
Nick rushed in, stopping abruptly as he stared at the little speck on the floor. Brian met his unimpressed gaze momentarily after, shrugging a sheepish smile at his Frack. He was given a silent eye roll as a response, and so was Kevin and AJ.
“You’re kidding me,” Nick said blankly. He pointed at the spider that had frozen in its place yet again. “This guy isn’t even bigger than half an inch.”
“HALF AN INCH TOO BIG FOR MY LIKING!” AJ declared.
“That’s just sad, what did it ever do to you?” Nick scoffed.
Right, enough of dawdling.
“HURRY UP AND BEAT ITS ASS!” Brian and Kevin demanded in unison.
He exchanged glances with Nick again, watching his buddy shrug once before he dropped to the floor and scooped the arachnid into his hand in one fell swoop. Brian’s felt his eyebrows raise so high that he thought they were almost at his hairline. This kid was fucking insane, though he already knew that from day one back in 1993.
“NICKOLAS GENE CARTER!” Kevin screamed.
“WHAT KIND OF BLASPHEMY IS THIS?!” Brian cried, joining in the shocked reaction.
AJ pointed at Nick in a massive state of distress and disgust. “YOU BETTER WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS AFTER THIS!”
Nick rolled his eyes again. “This is a spider, not the plague. Calm down, you three.”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Brian and AJ protested.
Kevin gestured at Nick to leave the room. “Carter, take it outside already, before these two idiots try to burn down the house.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick laughed, leaving AJ’s bedroom and thumping down the stairs. He was going to tell Howie, Brian just knew it.
Kevin tested the waters first, and got off the chair before looking at Brian and AJ. Brian shrugged, letting out a brokenly sheepish laugh as he cautiously got off the bed, as if he was thinking that there was another spider waiting somewhere in hiding to ambush the three of them when they were least expecting it. He dusted himself off, looking expectantly at his younger bandmate who was still sitting on the bed, squinting at the floor.
“AJ, the spider is gone,” he pointed out.
“Uh— well, erm…I’m just gonna…sit here and do my nails.”
“I guess we’ll leave you to it then,” Brian chuckled, rolling his eyes and realizing how stupidly immature the three of them were. He exited the room with his cousin, and they strolled down the hall and downstairs, catching the sight of Nick running from the direction of the kitchen in excitement, towards the front door to presumably let the spider go free to live and roam about. He was fucking giggling like a five year old.
“That kid is insane.” Brian remarked.
“Call him insane, but he just willingly touched a spider to save the rest of us.”
Brian looked up and stared at Kevin. Then they turned to see Howie coming out of the same area, a look of bewilderment on his face. Nick probably showed the spider to him, maybe even waved it around somehow to impress Howie with his lack of fear. Brian turned back to his cousin, who met his stare.
“Okay…yeah. He’s insane,” Kevin nodded with his hands on his waist in admittance.