Work Text:
Trigger warning: mentions of domestic abuse
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Junmyeon walks toward his desk, smiling at his friend.
“Good morning,” he says as he sits down next to the window.
“Hey,” his friend replies.
It’s morning just like any other day, but there’s this tingling in Junmyeon’s skin, as if something was going to happen, something bad. However, the day passes without any significant occurrence, and he begins to think it is just nothing.
As he walked home, the sun was already setting. He was in his third year of high school. Just two more years, and he would be going off far away for college. He will surely miss this town and all of the memories that he has made with his friends.
He passes by the convenience store on his way home, and he smiles as he remembers how he would play hide and seek with his friends here back when they were little kids. And now that they were all grown up, they would still stop by for the occasional ice cream or ramen.
He was already near his home when he heard the voices; they were fighting again.
Junmyeon decided to stay by the door for a bit, at least until they stopped arguing.
It has always been like this; his parents have been arguing, as far as he knows, from the moment he understood what that word means. This is why he didn’t want to go home and stayed out late for as long as he could.
His father walks out the door, not seeing Junmyeon standing there at all. He had a suitcase in his hands.
“That damn bitch, I am never going back again.”
Junmyeon wanted to call out to him, wanted to try and reach him again, but he couldn’t find the words to speak; nothing came out of his mouth.
After his dad left in his car, his mom soon followed. His mom’s hair was disheveled, and so was her shirt. She kept pulling the edge of her left sleeve, and that was when Junmyeon saw it. Another bruise added to many. Some of the bruises on her leg were just healing too.
“Mom…” Junmyeon said, finally finding the courage to utter a word.
“Junmyeon, you’re back.” His mom smiled, trying to conceal any emotion.
“Did he hit you again?” Junmyeon asks, his voice filled with anger.
“No, I just fell down the stairs earlier.”
“That bast-”
“Language, Junmyeon, he’s your father.”
“I don’t care. He keeps hurting you!”
“I’m fine. Did you see where he went?”
“I’m going to get your medicine for that wound on your cheeks, mom. You’re bleeding.”
His mom touched her cheek, looked at her hand, and saw blood.
“Oh, it’s just a scratch, don’t bother.”
“Do not bother? You’re bleeding, mom. What are you even thinking of right now? Come inside. Let’s go.” Junmyeon says as he tries to pull his mom by the hand.
“I said don’t bother. I’m going after your dad.”
“Then, at least wait for me here. I’ll let you go after I apply some medicine to your face, okay?”
Junmyeon hurriedly goes inside their house to grab some ointment. He knew he still had them from the last time. Where was it? He was sure he had placed it in the medicine cabinet. Maybe in his mom’s room? He was looking for the medicine when he suddenly heard a loud crash from outside. Junmyeon finally saw the medicine by the television, grabbed it quickly, and headed out.
However, when he finally got out, he saw his mom on the ground, bleeding profusely.
“Mom!!! Mom, what happened?”
A car sped up, and Junmyeon was not able to get the plate at all.
“Junmyeon…your dad….”
“Don’t speak, mom. I’ll call the ambulance. Just…hang in there.” Junmyeon was crying badly; he didn’t know what to do.
“Help! Someone help us!” he shouts, hoping his neighbors will hear him. He realizes he didn’t have his phone with him, and he couldn’t leave his mom to grab it. He was panicking, and everything was a blur.
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“Myeon….” A woman called out to Junmyeon, but he was still in a daze.
It was his mother’s funeral, the same mother who died in his arms. Junmyeon could still see her blood on his arms as he was holding her during her last moments.
“Myeon, at least eat something. Your mom would not want to see you this way. She always wanted the best for you.”
Junmyeon wanted to shout, to scream at the world for making things this way. Why did his mom deserve to die when she has been nothing but a victim all her life? Why didn’t that damned bastard die instead of her? And the driver who did this to his mom, may he rot in hell as well.
Everything was a mess. Junmyeon was really all alone now.
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Junmyeon wanted to disappear. He didn’t want to live this life anymore; everything felt wrong.
There was a knock on his door, but he couldn’t be bothered to get up from bed; his tears won’t stop.
“I’m coming in.”
His grandmother walks in the door and sits on the edge of his bed.
“Myeon.” His grandmother calls out as she caresses his head. “It’s going to be alright; grandma is here now.”
“Grandma, I---I don’t--- I don’t want to do this anymore,” Junmyeon says in between sobs.
“My grandchild, I know things haven’t been easy. I am so sorry I came a little too late.”
“It’s not your fault, grandma. It’s mine. I should have done something. I knew what was happening, but I didn’t do anything.”
“My Myeon, not a single thing was your fault. Your parents were adults, and they knew things better than you did. When you are older, I will explain things better to you, why they were fighting and all of that. They weren’t like that before. They truly loved each other, believe me.”
“If love is like that, then wouldn’t it be better not to love anyone at all?”
His grandmother’s heart broke at the question that Junmyeon asked.
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry things happened this way. Don’t worry, grandma will do her best so you can live a good life, okay?”
Junmyeon gets up and hugs his grandmother.
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Pretending to be fine and not having a care in the world was harder than Junmyeon thought it would be. He went back to school a week after the funeral and acted as if nothing had happened. He joined his friends the karaoke, went to eat tteokbokki after class, and went with life as usual.
However, he studied hard at night, aiming for the top spot in the school, and he wanted to go to a good university. His mom had always told him that she wanted him to go to a great college, and he wanted to make that wish come true, even if it was a little too late since she won’t see him achieve it.
True to her word, Junmyeon’s grandma was always there for him. She would prepare dinner for Junmyeon whenever he came home. She would always wait for him, no matter how late it was. She would always give him a warm welcome and a hug.
“Grandma, you really don’t have to wait up for me every day.”
“I want to, Myeon. Don’t worry about me. I’m happy to see you are doing okay. Have you decided where you are going for college?”
“I’m going to Seoul, grandma.”
“That’s so far away. Are you sure?”
A part of Junmyeon was hesitating because he didn’t want to leave his grandmother alone.
“Will you come with me there?”
“I wish I could, Junmyeon. But it would take a lot of money to do that. Are you decided to go to Seoul for college?”
Junmyeon could only nod in answer.
“Alright, I will sell this house and move back to the countryside. This should be enough to cover your tuition and living expenses. I’ll send you some money later on. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
“You don’t have to do that, grandma. I got a scholarship, and they cover everything.” Junmyeon said, lying through his teeth.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. So don’t worry about me, grandma. I’ll visit you every break, okay?”
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After two years of living with his grandma, Junmyeon finally arrived in Seoul. He worked his ass off on part-time jobs during his senior year while making sure that he got the best grades in his school. Everything paid off; he was able to enter the college that his mom would have wanted and got a scholarship as well, so he didn’t really lie to his grandmother.
However, the scholarship only covered his tuition fees, so he still had to work while studying. At least he had some money that he could use for now. Hopefully, he finds a job before he empties out his savings account.
His first day of classes was not as bad as he thought it would be; he even made some friends along the way. He decided he could take it easy for the first semester since he had enough money to last him a year. Maybe he can just enjoy this one, maybe he is allowed to enjoy things even for a bit.
“Junmyeeeeeeeon” his friend called after him.
“Jongin, what is it this time?”
“Want to go to a café with me after class? There’s a new one that just opened near campus.”
“Don’t you have to study today?”
“Come on, don’t be a party pooper. It’s just one time.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Yay! Don’t worry, I’m paying.”
“You don’t have to, I’m good.”
“No, since I invited you, I shall pay for it, so just order whatever you want later.”
Junmyeon chuckles but nods and lets it go.
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It was now the middle of the second semester. While literature was not an easy course, he aced everything because this was something he loved; he even got the highest grades. He also got a new job at the café that he frequented last semester. There was also this new temporary teacher that was making him feel things.
Junmyeon thinks he will never find love, but when they kiss, Junmyeon feels like he is floating. It felt good, and he was so happy that he finally got someone who cared for him. He left him at the hotel last weekend, but Junmyeon was sure it was just a silly mistake. Maybe he just got called in for work and had to leave early.
As he gets ready for class, he goes to the “kitchen” of his studio apartment and grabs a cup to drink coffee. However, as soon as he did, it slipped from his fingers and broke into pieces.
He was almost late because of the incident, but when he got there, no one was talking to him. He thinks it was just because they were busy with their homework and proceeds to sit right next to Jongin.
“Hey, Jongin. Good morning, you know I broke--” Junmyeon was cut off mid-sentence because Jongin stood up and moved to a seat far away from him.
What is happening? Did I say something wrong?
Junmyeon checks his phone and gets a text to check the group chat. He opened it and saw photos of himself half-naked, next to the professor, that he was in a relationship. It looks like it was from the hotel he was just in last weekend.
Junmyeon grabbed his things and dashed out of the room. He heads straight for the faculty office to ask if the professor is there, but they tell him that he has already filed a leave since last week.
Junmyeon’s world felt like it was crashing down. Everything he worked so hard to build came crumbling in a moment. Junmyeon headed to an empty room and sat there, looking out the window. He just sat there for a while, lucky enough that no one used the room until he heard voices from outside.
“Do you think they really slept together? Maybe it was just photoshopped?” someone asks.
“I’m sure he did. He must have tried to siphon money from that professor.” A familiar voice replies.
Jongin? You knew I wouldn’t do that!
“That’s disgusting, sleeping for someone for money? I didn’t know Junmyeon was a person like that. Did he sleep his way for his grades too?”
“I wouldn’t put that past him.”
Junmyeon was so shocked. His lover leaving him was one thing but being betrayed by a friend was a completely different thing. He waited until he couldn’t hear voices, got out of the room, and went straight to his house.
How am I supposed to go to class tomorrow at this rate?
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“Junmyeon?” Sehun calls out.
“Yeah?”
“What are you thinking about?” Sehun wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s waist.
“Nothing, just something from the past.”
“Is it about the nightmare this morning?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m here if you want to talk about it, okay?” Sehun says and kisses the top of Junmyeon’s head.
“Thank you, Sehun.”
You mean the world to me.