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Chapter Text

MIZI

During shooting My Clematis, I actually was in the dark about Sua's character dying. I legitimately was told during the reading that—

EVERYONE laughs. MIZI puts her face in her hands.

MIZI

Everyone shut up. Yes, I was told that Sua would live because we had a duet and we would tie. But, you know what happens. And yes, I was shocked beyond belief. [looks at Camera A] I need emotional compensation. I need therapy.

TITLE CARD, BACKGROUND is white. Black TEXT layover reads ‘ALIEN STAGE FAN THEORIES’ with a subheading 'with the cast of Alien Stage'. Everyone begins to introduce themselves clockwise, beginning from MIZI at the far left, bottom row, and ending with Ivan at far right top row.

MIZI

Hello everyone, I'm Mizi.

SUA

I'm Sua.

HYUNA

I'm Hyuna. [finger-guns]

LUKA

[nods] I'm Luka.

TILL

Till here.

IVAN

And I'm Ivan. Welcome to Fan Theories with us. [smiles]

HYUNA

They're always interesting.

MIZI

[smiles] They are! First one is from ivantilltruther. Okay, I see you. [laughs]

TILL reaches for IVAN besides him, who squeezes his hand without looking at him.

MIZI

So they said, "I think in the Ivan v.s. Till stage, besides being possibly traumatic [giggles] Ivan is 100% going to sacrifice himself for Till. Of course he's his light and all, so he would want him to live longer. I'm scared."

MIZI

Oh boy, [purses lips] Ivan? Till? Thoughts?

TILL

[whistles] Who knows. I guess he might do that.

IVAN

Well, yes, I wouldn't want him to die. But if I let him live just for him to die for MIZI, I wouldn't be very happy either, would I? [smiles]

TILL

Are you a yandere? [laughs]

HYUNA

Yes.

MIZI

Yes.

LUKA nods, smiling. SUA hides a smile behind her hand.

IVAN

I will neither confirm nor deny.

TILL

Oh my god, you have to know what you're doing. [laughs]

IVAN smiles.

SUA

Completely valid, honestly.

SUA leans back and IVAN lean forward to high-five. MIZI shakes her head.

HYUNA

Is TILL as invested in MIZI as IVAN is in him? That's the real question.

LUKA

Just watch it.

HYUNA

Exactly.

MIZI

Next is from, parkaku underscore cuby. Hello! I actually know you! Your voice is amazing.

TILL

They need to post an acoustic cover asap.

MIZI

Right?

HYUNA

To be fair there are so many amazing people supporting us, we see you, we thank you.

LUKA

We perceive you.

SUA

Thank you.

MIZI

Okay, so the theory is: "In Sweet Dream, which is voiced by SUA, there is a lot of imagery involving her looking back at the Earth, and another frame has MIZI beside a segyein. Presumably, as the creators have said that some humans are born from humans, which implies that some are not? Maybe besides Anakt Garden, there is a nursery for humans, or there is a place where humans raise humans. SUA is probably raised on Earth and MIZI by a rich segyein. Plus, the creators have said MIZI is more sheltered is is more naive, which imo means that she was more doted on by her rich master. SUA has a serious face as she goes through her experiences. Does she have a plan?"

HYUNA

A multifaceted theory, we love to see it.

SUA

It's great! I think those are really valid theories. And the thing is, MIZI is more sheltered, you're right. She hasn't really experienced things the way, say, HYUNA, TILL, or LUKA have, certainly. It's interesting that you say that her being more naive is because of her being more doted on by a rich master because IVAN is the same, don't you think?

IVAN

[nodding] Right. Unlike you though, I was more aware of the reality of things, and before the rich segyein came along, I went through some things as well.

TILL

Just some stuff, you know, like being dangled off a building. No biggie. [snorts]

MIZI

So does it mean I have never seen anything outside of my sheltered upbringing? Was that why the true face of SUA's mortality shocked me? Was that why, in Round 2, I was shocked that the guard waegyein was hostile to TILL and I? [taps chin] Hmm.

LUKA

And I notice you haven't answered the Earth theory or the plan theory, SUA.

SUA smiles. Camera B zooms into her face briefly.

SUA

They're interesting, let's say that. I'm dead though.

LUKA

[smiles] Are you?

SUA

[laughs] Maybe.

MIZI

Next one is from, oh wow I do not know how to say this. Xeno underscore j-l-eight. Hold on, I know this username too. Why is everyone so talented?

LUKA

[nodding] Crazy.

MIZI

It says, "HYUNA is definitely going to attempt to do a Till and unalive [laughs] LUKA. LUKA might actually let her, because he looks so tired from all the fame and attention from his previous win in the last season of Alien Stage. Otherwise, he could suddenly be inspired by HYUNA and want to live again. Looking forward to their match-up."

HYUNA

I mean there is an official promotional poster of me in the midst of stabbing LUKA, so I will not disagree about the motivations.

LUKA

I do look kind of dead inside.

TILL

You and me both.

LUKA

You look more unhinged than dead inside. It's like, it's finals week and the soul has left my body, but you're on your tenth red bull espresso mix and on the verge of ascending to destroy humanity and possibly all forms of higher powers.

MIZI

Concerningly specific.

TILL

Very true though.

TILL and LUKA fist-bump.

LUKA

You do see that I have more experience in the stage than the other contenders, would it mean that I know how to handle the audience more? The audience might be rooting for me more as a previous contestant, you know.

HYUNA

Yeah, or they might root for the underdog.

LUKA

There is that.

HYUNA

Or you might be too tired to continue playing a fruitless game, seeing as even though you won in the previous season, you're still competing in the present one. You're just a trophy, a canary in a golden cage.

LUKA

[snaps fingers] So am I there because of something nefarious, or is it the system itself? Can the contestants never escape the cycle of death? Keep in mind that regardless of the result, they're all still under an overarching [makes air quotations] pet situation.

HYUNA

Stay tuned.

MIZI

This is all an elaborate plan to intrigue the audience to be honest.

IVAN

They are promotions for a reason.

TILL

Watch Alien Stage. Give us money.

HYUNA and TILL high-five. SUA hits TILL.

SUA

[laughs] TILL!

TILL

What! It's true.

For a few moments, EVERYONE talks, their voices mixing into each other's.

LUKA

[clapping hands] Order. Order in the court. [laughs] Silence, children.

TILL

Sorry, old man.

LUKA

[turns around to hit TILL] MIZI, next?

EVERYONE falls into silence. MIZI clears her throat.

MIZI

This one is from segyein underscore bussy underscore destroyer. [frowns]

Brief silence. EVERYONE bursts into laughter.

HYUNA

You really made MIZI read that, damn.

TILL

What was the username again? I didn't catch it.

MIZI turns around to hit TILL's arm. TILL continues laughing.

TILL

Is this hitting me day?!

MIZI laughs, patting TILL's knee before turning forward. IVAN pats TILL's hand.

IVAN

Why just today?

LUKA

MIZI is having a crisis, the two of you [laughs] the two of you stop this instant.

IVAN

So we can continue later?

HYUNA

No.

SUA

[patting MIZI's back] There, there.

MIZI

I am unionizing. This is abuse. [hands SUA the tablet] This is actually an attack.

SUA

[switches tablet to other hand before putting an arm around MIZI] I can read the theories if you want.

MIZI

[straightens up from leaning on SUA's shoulder] That's right! Why am I the only one reading them?!

TILL

I mean, you kind of, just never let go of it, girl.

HYUNA

Props for not being commitment-phobic.

LUKA

We do like it better when you read them, you're nicer than any one of us would probably be.

MIZI

You're all nice. [leans back on SUA's shoulder]

LUKA

[gestures] That is exactly what I mean.

SUA

Okay, this is actually the last one.

MIZI

[muffled into SUA's shoulder] Aw.

SUA

[pats MIZI's back] "The system of the competition is pretty simple, but the stage basically works like a debate. One person sings, then the other one does. This means that SUA and MIZI, as well as TILL and DOTORI, have actually violated the rules. IVAN is the only one, so far, to actually follow them. Is this why his score is so high compared to the two previous rounds? Discuss."

TILL

Oooh. Fair question. Ivan is just that good. Or maybe his rich alien paid off the system.

IVAN

I don't need to rely on external influences to win, unlike you.

EVERYONE except TILL and IVAN make mock-gasps.

HYUNA

Ivantill breakup on live camera!

MIZI

Hashtag real, crying emoji, pleading emoji, smiling with tear emoji.

SUA

We're just ignoring that really biased answer in the middle?

TILL

Yes.

IVAN laughs as he pulls TILL closer. TILL pushes his face away with his free hand.

LUKA

Simp.

HYUNA

Simp.

MIZI

Simp.

JUMPCUT.

SUA

It is pretty interesting that, if you think about it, the first two are rebelling against the system, in their own ways. Is this setting a precedent for the next rounds? Who knows.

LUKA

It's really cool to see some fan theories. These are only some of them, of course, and doubtless there are many more out there, especially when Round 4 hits, and we will also stay tuned the way you all will stay tuned for us.

HYUNA

We love you all! [waving]

MIZI

We are so, so grateful for your support.

SUA

It's honestly been crazy.

TILL

It's unfortunate that the rest of the cast can't be here, but you can see them in other promotional material, don't worry. You haven't seen the last of us yet.

IVAN

Thank you everyone, it has been the cast of Alien Stage on Vanity Fair Fan Theories. 'Till next time.

EVERYONE laughs.

TILL

'Till next time.

TITLE CARD , white BACKGROUND. LOGO of VANITY Fair.

EVERYONE cheers. A chair is heard crashing to the ground.

Chapter Text

Comments 8k

somekindofgae
Is anybody going to say anything about Ivan and Till holding hands at the start then never letting go? Just me? Okay

and the fucking black jacket that switched to till's shoulders after the jumpcut 😫 vanity fair directors cut!!
👍56k 👎 🗨390

ayeeee
crying over the fact that mizi didn't know about round 1 results rip me too queen
👍7k 👎 🗨47

hotbitchinurarea
kind of disappointed they didn't address the most popular theory: this is all a really elaborate dream/hallucination they are collectively having
👍10k 👎 🗨37

Eijun Sawamura
going feral over the fact that sua and mizi are basically cuddling. this is a personal attack
👍48k 👎 🗨400

meow_meow
the way Luka is Actually their dad LMAO i guess he is the oldest but he radiates such Tired Dad Energy

edit: stop fighting over daddy vs babygirl in the comments
👍7.7k 👎 🗨212

cheese
they actually gave away a bit of round 4 (lol) if you look closely, i mean look at their smirks

I think that hyuna actually ... Read more
👍3k 👎 🗨4

yeetus finitus
the chair crash was 100000% till jumping up too fast
👍253 👎 🗨1

procrastinating rn
hyuna is just actively egging everyone on, all the time, and i live for it
👍4.2k 👎 🗨10