Chapter Text
“What are our plans for Christmas?” Bronwyn asks the group at large as if she isn’t the one who plans Christmas every year.
Kris sighs and slides lower in his chair, glancing around at the tiled walls of Café Contigo. Holidays have always been uncomfortable since his move from Germany, but this year is worse. He feels Addy’s hand on his knee, and he doesn’t need to look at her to know what she’s thinking about.
Or rather who.
Cooper Clay left to play for the Padres three years ago, and he hasn’t come back to Bayview since. Some of their friends (mainly Bronwyn) always curse Coop’s ability to leave and never come back, but Addy misses him nearly as much as Kris does.
“Play baseball, mostly,” Luis answers. He’s sitting across from Kris, looking relaxed for once now that he’s working at a high-end restaurant in downtown San Diego. Maeve’s back home from college in New York City, where she’s planning on getting a degree in secondary education, and she’s currently resting against Luis’s side, her eyes half closed as he runs his fingers through her freshly cut hair. Long distance seems to work better for the pair than it did for Bronwyn and Nate.
Maeve opens her eyes fully, a look of confusion on her face. “Who exactly do you plan on playing with? Because we’ve already talked about my No Baseball rule.”
Luis drops a kiss into Maeve’s hair with a grin. “With Coop, of course.”
Time seems to freeze for Kris, his head swimming and stomach aching like he’s just been punched. “Cooper?” he asks, the name tearing out of him.
Luis looks like a deer in headlights, looking guiltily at Kris. “Um… yeah. He texted me last week saying that he was coming back because his parents are abroad and he wants to hang with Lucas and Nonny.” Luis’s face flushes even more. “I guess he didn’t… um… reach out?”
Luis flinches as someone — presumably Addy — kicks him under the table.
“No, no he didn’t.”
Kris remembers the moment Cooper told him like it was yesterday. They were sitting under the twinkling lights strung up around the Rojas’ back yard. They had thrown a joint birthday/Christmas/congradulations party, with Bronwyn, Maeve, Luis, and Cooper at the center of attention. Bronwyn’s September birthday, along with Maeve and Luis’ November birthdays had passed by the time the group gathered for the holidays, and Addy just had to celebrate. And since Coop had finally signed with the Padres, Addy had gone into party overdrive to celebrate some of her favorite people.
The night had finally ended, and everyone was scattered around the backyard: the Rojas sisters and their boyfriends were taking up the lawn chairs. Phoebe and Knox were sitting with their heads bent together on the garden wall. And Addy and Keely were slow dancing to the soft music playing from Maeve’s phone.
“Congrats again, babe,” Kris had said, his chest bursting with pride and love for the goofy boy sitting across from him. Cooper had a smear of the cake that Addy had smashed onto his face under his eye, and his party hat was askew. Kris leaned in for a kiss, and straightened up bewildered when Cooper leaned away, his hand on Kris’s chest to push him away. “Is everything okay?” Kris tried to tangle their fingers together, but Cooper instantly retracted his hand.
“There’s going to be a lot of traveling now that I’m playing for a real team.”
Kris gave his boyfriend a bemused look. “I know. That’s kind of the point of a pro team right? Playing other teams?”
“Yeah, but I’ll be away a lot.”
“I know that,” Kris assured him instantly. There was a look on Cooper’s face that Kris had never seen before, and it was scaring him.
“Right. But you’re going to be studying a lot, and you have med school to apply to. I can’t ask you to miss me, worry about school, and deal with all the crap I’m gonna get for having a boyfriend at the same time.”
Kris stared at Cooper. He didn’t know what was worse: that Cooper really thought Kris couldn’t handle long distance, or that his accent hadn’t changed at all. There was no emotion behind what he was saying.
“Cooper, I get that. And I appreciate that you’re thinking of me, but I’m choosing that. I want to be in your life, even if we’re not physically together all the time.”
Cooper’s face was closed off, as if every logical argument Kris made was just going in one ear and out the other. “It just won’t work. I’m sorry Kris. I think we should just do our own things.”
It was the last thing Cooper had said to him. Kris didn’t have anything else to say except please, but his voice was gone as he watched Cooper walk away. He paused only once to thank Addy for the party, and then he was gone.
Now, as Kris sits in a town filled with the echoes of a boy who could break his heart with just a few words, he can’t help but think that Cooper’s line of reasoning was wrong. Cooper didn’t have to ask Kris to miss him while he was away.
Kris would miss him either way, and it kills him that it’s been three years and he can’t get Cooper out of his head.