Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Melody shivered as she trudged through the snow. It didn’t usually get this cold on the Sapphire Islands - one of the blessings of being in a more temperate area - but this year was particularly bad. Maybe it was the aftershocks of what had happened with Verena and the Scramblers and all of that. Maybe it was the result of pollution messing with the climate over the course of decades. Maybe Bigby had a hand in it, either on purpose or accidentally. Or maybe it was just colder than usual.

But that was exactly why she was out here. She needed more firewood, and the only way she was getting that was by going out into the forest to get some. Not just firewood though, she had plenty of logs. What she really needed was kindling. Small sticks and twigs. She’d only be out here for an hour or so and then be right back inside to stay warm.

Still, she carried Allison’s old lumber axe. Just in case. Even if it was only supposed to be used on trees and bottle caps. If nothing else she could bludgeon a monster with the blunt side.

Not that she expected to see any monsters. There were still a few about, but nowhere near as many as there were during summer. And the ones that did still roam the islands were far less aggressive or dangerous. Still, she wasn’t a fan of getting attacked by three-eyed boars and having to fight them off with her bare hands wasn’t exactly her idea of fun.

Nor was hiking in frozen forest for sticks, but y’know.

Melody stopped for a moment to rest, peering under bushes to try and find fallen sticks that wouldn’t take too much digging to acquire. She had a decent bundle already, but a few more wouldn’t hurt.

Something rustled in the snow.

It was unmistakable. The snow rendered everything muted and quiet, but when something did make a noise it stood out all the more. Especially since Melody was already somewhat on edge.

Melody tucked the bundle of sticks under one arm and hefted the axe with the other. Hopefully it was just a small animal, but if it wasn’t…

She moved as quietly as she could, even if it was pretty much impossible in her heavy coat and with snow crunching underfoot. She crept around a tree and squinted at a bunch of bushes. The snow was being shaken off by something rustling about under the bushes. She couldn’t quite see what exactly it was. Not from here. But if she got a bit closer…

The thing under the bush rushed out, moving on its two front limbs as a pair of… tails? Tentacles? A pair of limp limbs dragged behind it, creating trails in the snow. All she really saw of its main body was colored in bright pinks, blues, and yellows. And then it was gone, dashing off through the snow.

Bright colors and an incomprehensible biology? Definitely not an animal, then.

Which meant it was a monster.

And she was a paladin.

Well, she hadn’t come out here intending to go monster hunting, but it would be neglectful of her duties if she let it go free.

Before she’d even finished the thought, Melody was running.

“This… is… crazy,” Melody panted to herself as she ran after the thing. This was something Allison would do. Or Claire. Maybe Jodie. Definitely not her thing. But Allison, Claire, and Jodie weren’t here, and there was a monster.

She hopped a root to see the creature careening into a snowbank. Its limbs flailed helplessly, its entire upper body stuck in heavy snow. After a moment its weaker hind limbs went fully limp, laying against the snow.

Melody approached cautiously. It was shockingly inept for a monster. Sure, even the humble hermits and enemy anemones were weak, but even those weak monsters didn’t wind up trapping themselves like this.

Now that she was closer, she could see that its hind limbs weren’t tails or tentacles, but some kind of thin tape. Like a film roll.

Wait a minute.

Melody hooked the axe handle through a loop on her belt and walked closer. She knew those legs. She’d seen them on enough tiny menaces to know whose they were. And now that she actually looked at it, she recognized the poncho, too. This wasn’t a monster.

Well, not a conventional monster. Not a ‘made of magic to cause havoc’ monster. Just your regular, ‘does awful things for awful reasons’ monster.

And he wasn’t moving.

Melody sighed to herself. Was she really doing this? Really? She could just… go. Surely he’d survive somehow. He’d made life so absolutely awful for a while, and had tried to destroy the world in the process. Plus, he was just the biggest jerk.

But…

“I am never going to hear the end of this…” Melody muttered to herself. But she was going to do this anyways. If only because she couldn’t just leave him here.

She grabbed his poncho and tugged, extracting the entirety of the VHS man from the snow. His eye spun wildly for a few moments, then looked directly at her.

“I am nnnnnnot getting m-mugged by more-more-more of you HAIRBALLS!”

And then Javis was unconscious.

The skipping and stuttering was new, but maybe that was just what happened when he got snow in his parts. If that was how he worked at all. Maybe he was just delirious from hypothermia, or something. Ice spells had worked better on him, after all. It could be that he was cold-sensitive, and that was messing with his head.

She really shouldn’t be spending so much time thinking about ‘could-be’ when there was an unconscious extradimensional wizard in her hand.

At least he was light. She hefted him over her shoulder and started the long trek back home.

The whole time she walked through the snow, Melody was wondering what possessed her to pull this miserable creature out of the snowbank. Was she losing it? Maybe she’d been in the cold too long. Maybe having Allison be gone for so long had made her loopy. Maybe she was just bored out of her mind from not having any adventurer work. Whichever it was, she’d have to worry about it later. She’d already committed to bringing this maniac into her home, and whatever consequences that would have were for future Melody to worry about.

She opened the front door and stepped inside. Once she knocked the snow off her shoes, the sticks went in a dwindling pile next to the fireplace and the VHS man went on her couch.

Thank goodness she’d gotten the fireplace cleaned before the snowstorms started, because otherwise it would suuuck to use it. She piled a couple of logs within and set up the kindling, grabbing her tinderbox from its place on the mantle to start a small fire to warm the place up. Sometimes she wished she’d tried to follow in Claire’s footsteps and learn at least a minor fireball or something, but given her ineptitude with evocation magic it wasn’t happening any time soon. Spending mana on a fire spell wasn’t exactly on today’s resume anyways, since she’d probably need what she had to try and fix up Javis.

She really was seriously thinking about doing this, huh?

No, she was actually doing it. Not just thinking. She’d already taken off her coat and looked down at the unconscious creature on her couch. At least Melody had taken Beverly up on her offer to take care of Shadow until the snowstorms ended. Even an indoor cat wanted to go outside every now and then, and Shadow refused to do so in the snow. That led to a lot of complaining. Greenridge was mercifully snow-free, so Shadow would be happier there for the winter.

Melody took a deep breath and channeled her mana. This had only gotten easier with time and practice, but it had been a while since she’d actually cast a healing spell on someone else. She started with the spell Zinnia had taught her, purging the ice from Javis’ limbs and making him less stiff. If she’d done it right, it would also treat any hypothermia he may have. But that part would have to wait. After that she cast a healing spell, to mend any wounds he might have.

“Thank goodness I don’t have to actually know how to treat a wound for that to work,” Melody said to herself, “I’m not even sure if I could learn how to treat an extradimensional glitch monster.”

Melody sighed. “And now I’m talking to myself again. I have to kick that habit or people will think I’m crazy.”

People already think you’re crazy, whispered the tiny voice in the back of her mind.

She ignored it.

Well, she had taken care of the urgent things. Might as well get started on dinner. She opened the fridge and sighed. It would only be a couple of days before she was out of food, and then she’d need to trudge through the snow to Greenridge to restock. It wasn’t the going to Greenridge part that she dreaded. More the trudging through the snow. Sure she could order food online, but that ran the risk of lost packages and also meant that she’d just shove the burden of going through the snow to someone else.

Still, she had chicken, and peas, and some cream of mushroom soup. That would be enough for dinner today.

Once the soup-in-progress was going, Melody headed upstairs to turn on her laptop. She was expecting a call at some point today, and she wasn’t going to miss it for anything.

Sure enough, a notification popped up. Melody clicked on it immediately, tapping her foot impatiently as the application loaded.

Eventually a video window opened. With a progress bar and a pause button. It wasn’t a video call, like Melody had been hoping. But Allison was there, front and center.

A bit too front and center, actually, but that changed when she set the phone down. Sand crunched under the phone and all around as Allison crouched down to address the phone properly.

“Hey Mel! We’re about to head into a dungeon soon, so this might be the last time I have enough signal to send you anything,” Allison said cheerfully. The crappy phone mic maxed out for a second as an explosion silhouetted Allison’s shape. When Allison spoke again, it was even lower quality than usual. “I just wanted to show you this cool combo me and Mom cooked up before we lose connection. Check this out!”

Allison turned around and picked up her sword and an axe. She ran towards a towering creature in the background - an enormous horned skeleton with three yellow eyes and a glowing purple heart floating in its ribcage. As Allison approached, her mother Amelia shot in from out of the camera’s focus to slam a long, thin blade into the skeleton’s heart. She catapulted backwards off of the skeleton, and Allison crossed her weapons to create a flat surface for Amelia to land on. Allison shoved upwards as Amelia jumped high into the air, casting a spray of magical stars with her free hand to batter the skeleton’s head. When the monster raised its arms to shield against the barrage, Allison seized the opportunity. She lunged forwards, whirling to strike the heart first with her axe and then with her sword. The double strike split the heart in two, and the skeleton collapsed into a pile of bones before beginning to dissolve into magic.

Amelia landed gracefully and flourished her sword before sheathing it. Allison did likewise, her weapons sheathed in a cross on her back as she made her way back to the camera. They shared a high five before Allison reached her phone, crouching down and grinning widely.

“So yeah, we’re doing good. We should be out in a couple of days, but if we’re done sooner I’ll call you.” Allison paused, looking over her shoulder. “A couple days, right?”

“It could be longer. The Mortendis Tombs have multiple entrances and a lot of magically conjured monsters,” Amelia said with a shrug, “Nobody’s seen the center, but some of the old records say that the tombs spread for miles. We’ll find out.”

“Oh! That reminds me! New topic for Claire to read a thousand books about: the Mortendis Tombs.” Allison returned her attention to the camera. “And when she’s done I’ll be able to actually keep up with her for once. Maybe. Probably not.

“Anyways, I’m sorry I couldn’t call you today. We won’t have any signal at our usual call time. Hopefully we’ll be out soon. I love you.”

The video ended with Allison’s grin fading as she reached towards the phone. The final frame was at an unflattering angle, with Allison’s hand taking up fully half the screen and her attention directed elsewhere.

“I love you,” Melody whispered.

She’d wanted to go. Sure, delving into an ancient tomb to try and extract cultural relics for the descendants of the tomb-builders wasn’t exactly Melody’s idea of fun. Nor was finding horrific monsters and fighting them until they were reduced to their component magic. But it wasn’t really not her thing either. Not after everything that had happened. And she would have loved spending more time with Allison. Plus, getting somewhere warm for the winter would have been nice.

But the whole point was for Allison to bond with her mother, and so Melody had happily stayed behind. Well, ‘happily’. Willingly, would be the more accurate word.

Still, she was still on the Sapphire Islands, and Allison and Amelia were on another continent. That’s what it was. No changing it now.

Well, no, she could ask Verena or Zinnia to send her to Allison. There was practically no such thing as ‘impossible’ with Verena around. But that would be… wrong. For multiple reasons. For one it would be exploitative to just go to Verena with every minor problem. And it would lead to a reliance on a higher authority to fix everything, which was exactly the opposite of what Melody wanted. It was the opposite of what Allison wanted. Just as importantly, getting teleported to Allison would violate Allison’s choice to go on a mother-daughter adventure.

So instead Melody was going to wait patiently for Allison to return. Even if she worried for her girlfriend the whole time.

She did at least open the messaging app and send a quick message to Allison. Just three words. That was all she needed to tell Allison everything she wanted to say.

Something clattered to the floor downstairs.

Melody drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Well. It was time to confront the stranger in her house.

Chapter Text

Melody descended the stairs to see what had happened to Javis.

As expected, the VHS man had fallen off the couch. He was awake, sitting up but not standing. He looked around with suspicion and paranoia in his eye. But he hadn’t noticed Melody yet.

“Um,” Melody began, unsure where to go with it. As it turned out, that was enough on its own.

Javis screamed, crawling backwards until his back hit the wall. “I’m not getting mauled again!”

“You’re not going to get mauled,” Melody soothed, “I’m not going to hurt you.” This time, at least. Not until he did something awful again.

“The last one said that too!” Javis pointed accusingly. Then he paused. “It might have said that, I didn’t speak the language.”

“...It was probably just an animal.”

“All you two-eyed, four-limbed hair creatures look the same!” Javis shouted.

“I’m pink,” Melody said bemusedly.

“So?!”

“And I have clothes. And a house.”

“Those horrible little furballs had hats ! HATS!”

“Oh, yeah. Some bushy-tailed bandits do have winter gear around this time of year.” Melody shrugged. “Those are monsters, though. And they only have one eye.”

“...I knew that.” Javis cleared his throat. “I simply did not think the difference was worth any merit.”

Melody crossed her arms and shook her head. “You don’t recognize me, do you?”

There was a beat of silence, and Javis blinked a few times.

“Should I?” He asked.

“Earlier this year? During summer?” Melody prompted. When Javis continued to stare blankly, she continued. “You invaded my home. We stopped you.” More blank staring. “You got so upset that you tried to erase me and my friends from existence?”

“...No I’m sure I’d have remembered the names of any important people I had a vendetta against,” Javis said.

“You put together a whole fake gameshow to try and prove to Verena that mortals were petty, hateful creatures?” Melody said, letting some frustration bleed into her voice. “And you called me ‘the weakest one’.”

Javis gasped, eye going wide. “Pinky.”

“That’s not my name,” Melody huffed, “But at least it’s consistently the wrong name.”

“Could be worse.” Javis relaxed.

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re the soft weak one. Nothing to worry about.” Javis waved one hand dismissively. “Now if it had been Ears or Higsby I might be in trouble.”

“Well. Allison and Claire wouldn’t have dragged you out of the snow.” Melody frowned.

“Exactly!” Javis laughed a bit and wiped his brow. Or whatever counted as the equivalent for his head. “Man, that could have been a lot worse! And here I thought I’d get ripped apart by a savage hairy thing or something awful.”

Melody opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it. Javis was, up to a point, correct. Allison or Claire probably would have either left Javis in the snow to die or made it a lot faster. Claire would have lit him on fire. She had expressed that desire multiple times in the months since June. Maybe not to death, but Claire thought Javis deserved a good scorching.

So instead, Melody walked over to Javis and extended one hand. “Let me put you back on the couch. The floor can’t be comfortable.”

“Yes, lift me off this cold floor and place me upon something much warmer.” Javis crossed his arms. He made no effort to reciprocate the gesture or make it easier for her.

Not that it mattered, since he was so light. She hefted him up by the back of his poncho and placed him on the couch. She glanced at his legs, dangling limply off the edge of the couch. After a moment she put his legs on the couch too. Then she stepped away to check on the stove.

“Do you eat?” Melody asked, stirring the soup simmering on the stove. It was done, thankfully. She grabbed a couple of bowls from a cabinet and started filling one.

“What kind of question is that?” She could hear him scoff.

“An honest one. Bigby doesn’t eat. Nor does Roy. Or Clintson. But Killer Ray does. Or at least pretends to. He does some pretty crazy things if he thinks it’ll make people like him more.” Melody shrugged. “So do you eat?”

“Not frequently. Physical sustenance is seldom necessary since I can siphon enough magic to survive without it,” Javis explained, “Much more convenient than doing something so meaningless as eating every few hours.”

“Can you siphon that mana without your staff?”

Javis didn’t say anything for a little while.

“I may require more physical sustenance than I was letting on…”

“I figured.” Melody filled the second bowl. She grabbed a couple of spoons and carried one bowl over to the couch.

Javis looked up and extended one hand. “Give me my sustenance, Pinky.”

Melody furrowed her brow and tilted her head. When Javis reached out to take the bowl, she lifted it out of his reach. He reached impotently for it, frustration showing in his eye. After a moment he let his hand fall to the couch cushions.

“I see. You ask me for my weaknesses and then deprive me of what I need. Just as cruel as your compatriots, in a completely new way.”

“While you are in my house,” Melody said, ignoring Javis’ accusation, “I have a few rules. They’re not hard to follow. It’s very simple. You will use my name. My actual name. You will attempt to be polite. And you will not insult my friends. Is that agreeable?”

“And what will you do when I say no?” Javis snarled.

“I’ll put you back out into the snow.” Melody kept her face even, trying for impassive. She knew she was bad at this. But Javis didn’t know that. Hopefully he wasn’t familiar enough with faces to call her out. “I can already tell your legs don’t work. You wouldn’t make it far in the snow.”

“How will you do that? You’re the weak one.” Javis poked her in the stomach, and Melody stiffened. “All soft and squishy.”

When he made to poke her again, Melody grabbed his wrist. Javis struggled for a bit, trying to pull his arm from her grasp. Either he was exceptionally weak or Melody was a lot stronger than she thought, because he couldn’t even get her to budge. Javis’ eye widened, and he was clearly panicking.

“New rule.” Melody took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “Do not touch me without my permission.”

“...That’s not fair, you grabbed me-,” Javis complained.

“And, if you break the rules, I’ll…” Melody barely had to think about it before she came up with a suitable punishment. “I’ll call Claire and let her know where you are.”

“You wouldn’t,” Javis said, horrified.

“I would.” Not that she thought Claire would do much of anything, but Javis clearly thought she would. Javis thought a lot of things about Claire that were just… wrong. “Will you follow my house rules, or not?”

“Fine,” Javis spat, “Torture me in your own twisted way. I am your prisoner.”

Melody sighed and handed him the bowl, shaking her head. She returned to the counter and started putting away the leftovers, transferring the soup to a resealable container. She really didn’t have much appetite after Javis’ bullshit, but she was still going to eat her own meal. And curious though she was about how a man with a VHS tape for a head was able to, she really didn’t want to watch Javis eat. She did have other questions, though.

“How did you wind up back on the Sapphire Islands?” Melody asked.

“The bubble bounced,” Javis answered in between slurping his soup, “I hit a mountain and ricocheted off. Then I wound up in the ocean, and drifted about for a bit before the bubble dissolved. Fortunately I don’t breathe, so I was perfectly fine.”

Melody doubted that. If he reacted so negatively to snow, he probably had a similarly violent reaction to water. He survived, of course, but failing to drown did not mean he could swim.

“The current carried me ashore on your dismal little island at some point. And I was fine except for your horrible guard beasts in the woods.” Javis huffed loudly.

“They’re not anyone’s guard beasts. They’re just wild animals.”

“Sure.” She heard the sneer in his voice from here. “And you ruined everything I had because love and kindness are the best things ever .”

Melody had a few things to say about that one, but she bit her tongue. Instead she asked a different question.

“So how did you break your legs?” She asked.

“They aren’t broken . They’re just… not working at the moment,” Javis said defensively, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. It’s very complicated.”

“Are you malnourished?” Melody asked with some concern.

Javis didn’t say anything.

Melody sighed and turned around. She reached over the back of the couch to take Javis’ nearly empty bowl, despite his protests, and returned to the counter to refill it with what was left of the soup in the pot. Then she deposited the bowl back into his lap.

“Give me a call when you’re done.” Melody put the soup into the fridge and the pot in the sink. She turned the faucet on for a few moments to let it soak, then turned it back off again. “I’m going upstairs.”

She didn’t wait to see if Javis had a snarky comment.

Melody sat at her desk and opened up social media. Hopefully something here could distract her from the maniac on her couch.

Politics, politics, some nutjob in another country got arrested for crimes against humanity, awful people being awful on the internet, and occasionally some nonsensical humor.

Yep. Sounded about right.

She’d really done it this time, huh? Taking an evil wizard into her house and taking care of him was probably not on the list of things she should have done this winter. It sounded like something Claire would get in trouble for. But she couldn’t just let him die in the snow. Even if he was a freaky VHS man. Even if he’d tried to destroy the world. The problem was that she didn’t think she could handle him. Sure, he was so weak he couldn’t even walk at the moment, but she knew Javis was clever. She knew he was manipulative. It would only be a matter of time before he cooked up a plan to take advantage of her or to get access to a casting implement. And Melody wasn’t confident she’d be able to catch it when he did.

“PINKY!”

Melody sighed and stood up to head downstairs.

“PINKY! PINK THING!”

Melody descended the stairs and turned the corner to see Javis holding his bowl up above him. He was, for better or worse, situated so that he was facing away from the staircase.

“HAIRY CREATURE, I HAVE FINISHED EATING!” Javis shouted loudly, “TAKE THIS EMPTY BOWL FROM ME!”

“What was the first rule we established?” Melody asked.

Javis twisted his upper torso to look at her, his eye narrowed. “Do you think I bothered to commit your little demands to memory?”

“Obviously not…” Melody muttered, sighing. She turned to the list on the wall. Her New Year’s resolutions from last year were still there, since she'd never found a good reason to take them down. Reading? Well, she’d at least skimmed several spellbooks. Be more outgoing? She had saved the world, did that count? Get ripped? Never happening. But the notepad itself had a use.

Melody pulled off the top sheet of paper and took the pencil from on top. She wrote quickly but legibly and when she was done she pulled that sheet off too. Then she grabbed a roll of tape from under the coffee table and taped the sheet to the wall opposite the couch.

“There. In case you forget again.”

Javis squinted at the paper on the wall, then rolled his eye. “What petty requests. Are these rules for children?”

Melody pursed her lips. “They’re the rules, and you agreed to follow them.”

“Fine. I’m done eating.”

Melody reached out and tapped the paper.

Javis looked between Melody and the paper a few times, then stared blankly at her.

“You broke the very first rule a minute ago.” Melody tapped the page again. “The first one. All you have to do is address me by name.”

“Does that even matter ?”

“It does to me.”

“So it doesn’t, then.”

“Alright.” Melody reached down and picked Javis up by the front of his poncho. The bowl tumbled to the ground, and it rolled until it hit the coffee table with a soft clink .

“Hey!” Javis protested, wriggling weakly. “Put me down!”

“You’ve broken the rules already .” Melody shook her head. “It’s been maybe an hour and you couldn’t follow the rules for that long. You haven’t used my name and you haven’t even tried to be polite. Maybe you’re being so rude out of spite, or because you think I won’t actually enforce the rules I put in place.”

Melody marched Javis to the door and opened it. It was dark now, and snow had begun falling once more. She held Javis over the ankle-high snow coating the yard.

“Wait! Wait wait wait wait!” Javis begged, the ends of his long, tape-like legs just touching the snow.  “I’ll be good! I’ll follow your rules.”

Melody raised one eyebrow. “Will you? For real this time?”

“Yes! I’ll do anything you want! Just don’t put me back into the snow!”

“Anything?”

“Anything!”

“...I want you,” Melody said, “To apologize. And I want you to use my name.”

“That’s -” Javis cut himself off, clearly second-guessing whatever he was about to say. “I… am sorry…” Melody waited for him to finish. “Pink-,”

Melody loosened her grip on his poncho, just a little bit, and Javis flailed to grab on to her arm with his eye wide in panic.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, uh…” Javis closed his eye for a few moments, then opened it again. “M… M… Melody?”

Well, he got there eventually. Melody pulled him back into the house and returned him gently to the couch. She picked up the bowl and spoon and took them over to the sink, then returned with a paper towel to wipe up the minor mess. When that was done, she got to work scrubbing to make sure there wasn’t enough time for the food residue to set and become impossible to remove. She even started humming to herself to try and distract herself from what had just happened.

She really shouldn’t be shaking this badly after that. She’d fought monsters far worse than Javis was in his current state. Heck, she’d fought Javis when he was far worse than his current state. Twice. And one of those times he had nearly disintegrated her and all of her friends. Why was this different? What was this making her heart pound in her chest?

Because you just threatened to kill a defenseless man.

She wasn’t going to hurt him. She’d never planned to hurt him. Just prove that she wasn’t bluffing.

And abandoning him in the snow wouldn’t hurt him?

Javis was resourceful. He would have survived.

You’re too weak to follow through.

Melody realized that she’d been scrubbing the same bowl for the past minute.

She shook her head and put the bowl aside to dry. Maybe she was just tired. It was already dark out, and she always felt more tired during the winter anyway. That was probably it.

Once Melody was finished doing the dishes she started towards the stairs. She paused a moment before ascending.

“Do you sleep?” She asked.

“Only if I absolutely must,” Javis answered curtly.

“Right, well. Um.” Melody blinked a few times, shaking her head. “I’m going to sleep. I’m going to leave the fireplace burning tonight. If the room catches fire, just… shout. It shouldn’t do that though.”

Melody didn’t wait for Javis to say anything else. She simply headed upstairs.

There would be time for showers in the morning. Melody simply fell on her bed and fell asleep.

Chapter Text

She drifted through the astral plane. Or someplace that looked a lot like it. She walked along the starry path with light footsteps, drifting through the nothingness. The TV screens in the void watched her with their purple eyes, blinking at irregular intervals and spitting out gibberish sentences, sounds mashed together at nonsensical intervals.

Melody blinked, and suddenly realized she was dreaming.

Of course she was dreaming. Why wouldn’t she be dreaming? The real world didn’t have giant television screens that sounded like the sound bites being remixed on a DJ table. Well, not usually, at least. It reminded her of the nonsense of Javis’ Scramblers, of the way they bent reality into computer glitches and parodies of itself. And no wonder Javis was on her mind, given he was right downstairs. The stress was probably part of why she was having such a weird dream.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Melody whirled to find herself face to face with… herself. Not herself, but her mirror image. Cast in grays and blacks instead of pink and white. Like Melody’s goth twin, if she had one.

“Oh. I haven’t seen you in a while.” Melody frowned and backed away. “Are you here to berate me again?”

“I’m here to warn you.” Harmony tilted her head. “You’re going to suffer if you let him stay.”

“I already knew that.” Melody sighed. “But I’m not going to let him die.”

“You don’t have the skillset for this. You’re too soft. Too forgiving. He’s going to take advantage of you. And everyone’s going to pay for it.”

“I… I won’t let him.” Melody balled her fists and frowned. “I’m not going to let him hurt anyone while he’s here.”

“And how do you plan to do that? You couldn’t even commit to dropping him into half a foot of snow.” Harmony snorted in derision. “You had one moment in the sun and then let it slip away, and now you’re harmless little Melody again. While Allison continues to get stronger you’ve stagnated. When was the last time you fought a monster on your own, without any of your friends there to do all the work?”

“That’s not what matters-,”

“It isn’t?” Melody flinched as Harmony suddenly leaned forward. “What do you expect to happen when he pulls a trick? When he summons a monster or gets his hands on some magic? By that point it will be too late. You won’t be able to stop him. It will be on your head. You should throw him back in the snow now and be done with it.”

“I can’t do that, he needs help.”

“Your ‘help’ is going to kill your friends.” Harmony’s stare was hateful, intense. “You need to toughen up right fucking now or the amount of pain you’ll cause is going to be a lot more than what the VHS man is going through.”

“I -”

“You can’t.” Harmony moved away, sneering. “You can’t handle him. You could barely stomach holding him above the snow while he’s helpless. And when he isn’t, when he’s recovered, you won’t be strong enough to keep him under control.”

Harmony started walking away.

“Where are you going?” Melody asked, barely more than a whisper. 

Harmony heard her anyway. Volume didn’t matter, when both were in the same mind. But she didn’t acknowledge Melody. She just kept walking.

“Wait!” Melody cried out, “Where are you going?!”

“You’re going to die.” Harmony waved one hand, not even turning to look. “I’m not sticking around to watch.”

O-O-O

Melody awoke in a cold sweat, shivering and drenched. She had neglected to pull her covers over herself before falling asleep, leaving her freezing on top of the sheets. Blinking groggily, Melody sat up.

Harmony showing up was an unpleasant surprise. She waited for the worst possible moment and then made it worse. Melody had half hoped that Harmony had stopped existing after what had happened in summer, but clearly that was a pipe dream. She was back, and she was dishing out just as much verbal abuse as ever. Harmony was right about one thing, though.

Melody needed help.

But who could possibly help her with this? Allison and Amelia were well beyond contact. Claire was the wrong kind of person for this sort of thing, just in general. She just had the wrong skillset. Jodie was a good choice, but she didn’t have the sort of experience needed for this sort of thing, and Faith was eternally busy. Zinnia would probably be super helpful, but Melody hated bothering her, and the last thing she needed was for Verena to find out and end Javis permanently. 

So that narrowed down her options significantly.

Beverly would be a great help, but she had her diner to run and it got really busy at this time of year. None of the paladin brigade members would be very helpful here - Holly and Rhett were a bit too punch-happy and Provence was not exactly a caregiver. The Leones…

Actually…

Melody opened her email and began typing.

To: Catherine Leone
From: Melody Amaranth
Subject: Need help
Hi Catherine!
I know this is a really weird question, and I can’t really provide context right now, but do you have any advice for taking care of someone who insists on being evil? As in - someone who requires help to recover but is unkind and manipulative.
Thanks in advance,
Melody

She hovered her mouse over the send button for a few moments, second-guessing her decision. Would Catherine be willing to help with something as out of the blue as this? Especially given the weirdness of her request. But this was her best option.

Something scraped on the floor downstairs.

Well, nothing for it but to go. Melody clicked send and headed downstairs.

The scratching and scraping sounds only continued as Melody got closer to the first floor. She immediately noticed that Javis wasn’t on the couch. But he was still in the living room.

The rug had been shoved to one side and the fireplace disturbed, and it was clear why. Javis, on his hands and… not quite knees, was drawing on the floor with a stick of charcoal.  He’d already drawn a five-pointed star and the eye in the middle, along with an outer ring. Now he was painstakingly scrawling runes along the outside of the ring, working his way around with complete focus on his task. Which was probably why he hadn’t noticed that he was scuffing the outer ring every time he moved. It was, at least, not finished. The runes around the outer ring didn’t complete the circle.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Melody asked, crossing her arms.

Javis looked up at her, wide-eyed. “You… awoke sooner than expected. You look significantly more bedraggled than usual.”

“I had a nightmare. What.” Melody drew in a deep breath. “Do you think you’re doing?”

Javis looked at the charcoal pattern on the floor then back up at Melody. “Redecorating.”

“Yeah, no. I’ve seen Claire make enough ritual circles to know that’s bullshit.” Melody walked over to the sink and opened the cabinets below, pulling out a sponge, some soap, and a bucket. She filled the bucket with warm water, mixed in some soap, and brought it over next to Javis. When he tried to scramble backwards, she snatched the stick of charcoal from his hand and tossed it back into the fireplace, then shoved the sponge at him. “I’m going to take a shower. Start scrubbing.”

Javis recoiled. “What?! You cannot possibly expect me to do manual labor! ”

“I do.” Melody nodded tiredly. “Because scraping charcoal all over my floor is, as you probably would have guessed, not very polite. Especially if you were trying to summon a demon, or something.”

“I wouldn’t have summoned a demon. What kind of rube do you take me for?!” Javis scoffed. “It’s a simple reshaping spell.”

“Oh. So you were trying to scramble my house instead. That’s worse.” Melody shook her head. “Clean it up.”

“And if I don’t ?” Javis challenged.

“Claire gets to take a look and tell me what it actually does.” Melody started for the stairs. She heard Javis scramble to begin scrubbing.

Melody got into the shower only a few moments later, letting the warm water run through her fur. Her water tank only had so much capacity, so she’d be on a time limit, but it was relaxing, at least. And it would give her some time to ponder.

She couldn’t keep using Claire as a threat. For one thing she was probably not going to call Claire unless Javis actually managed to do anything magical. For another… it was kind of weird to threaten someone with calling her friend. And Claire would probably not appreciate being equated with a torture device, except in an ironic sense. Melody needed a better, longer-term solution.

She also needed to find a way to keep Javis from drawing any ritual circles. He might not be able to cast spells of his own without his staff, but ritual circles were pre-programmed. All they needed was mana and intent. And the knowledge to draw them in the first place, of course.

Why couldn’t Javis cast without a staff, anyway? Sure, lots of people used staves and wands to channel their magic easier, but they weren’t strictly needed. Faith used her lance as a wand, but as far as Melody knew it was just a normal weapon - well crafted, certainly, but mundane. Jodie could cast some of the same spells Faith did without any sort of casting implement. Melody herself could cast all of her healing spells with no tools, even if she would generally prefer to have a wand. Even Allison’s magic, subtle as it was, used no tools to channel. Was it just part of how he’d learned to cast spells? Or was it part of what he was? The latter seemed more likely, given his attempt at using a ritual circle, but she couldn’t rule out either possibility.

Verena had the answers, of course, but Melody couldn’t go to her for this. It would put Javis’ life at risk, and as much as she hated him she didn’t want him to die. It would theoretically be possible to phrase the questions in such a way that Verena didn’t suspect anything, but Melody wasn’t sure if she had the tact to do that. Besides, it would be lying. Lying by omission, sure, but lying all the same. The thought of lying to anyone, and especially the progenitor of magic on Reverie, was mildly upsetting to Melody.

Verena didn’t need to know Javis was here. If all went well, she wouldn’t find out at all.

Your ‘help’ is going to get your friends killed.

Melody winced, swallowing the lump in her throat. She wasn’t going to let Harmony get to her again. Not after what happened during summer.

She’d promised herself that she’d deal with Harmony once all the mess was over. For real. Get some help to mitigate those anxieties and live stress-free. That hadn’t happened.

The water was starting to get cold. Melody turned off the faucet and stepped out, reaching out to grab the sun keychain from where she kept it next to the sink. It was much faster than using a towel and warmer too. There had been a bit of guilt the first time she’d used a supposedly ‘divine’ trinket for such a menial task, but it really was just a sun spell in a ball. Nothing more. Verena had taken a look at the thing and scoffed at the spell’s construction, calling it shoddy and rudimentary. Which, to be fair, was about what could be expected from a trinket that was sold at a stand in the middle of the park.

Besides, a rudimentary sun spell was about what Melody needed most of the time. A more advanced one would be way too powerful. She didn’t want sunburns when trying to dry herself off, or to light her clothes on fire after doing the laundry.

Speaking of cleaning…

Once Melody was dressed, she headed downstairs to check on Javis.

Javis was in a sorry state. He’d gotten the ritual circle cleaned up, but his condition was significantly worse. Sopping wet, covered in soot stains and laying in a soapy puddle, Javis let out a weak groan and stirred as Melody approached. ‘C-cold.”

Melody moved quickly, picking Javis up out of the puddle and to a dry spot on the floor. She raised the keychain and cast the spell within, drying him out quickly. Javis coughed and sputtered for a bit as wisps of steam escaped the back of his head. Melody knelt down and cast a healing spell, to hopefully fix up any internal damage.

“I see now. I know this one,” Javis muttered, “You torture me to within an inch of my life and then you mend my wounds. So you can do it again and again.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be so cold. I’m sorry,” Melody apologized.

“Stupid hair creatures.” Javis closed his eye and groaned again. “Damn you and your temperature tolerance.”

“Give me a minute and I’ll get the fireplace lit.” Melody picked him up and took him back to the couch, then strode over to the fireplace. It was soaked, presumably from the knocked over bucket next to it. Melody only had one solution for this sort of problem, but at least it was a reliable solution.

Once she was done drying the fireplace with the sunlight spell, she stacked up logs and lit them. Then, given Javis was still shivering, she went to the closet to grab a blanket and threw it over him.

“Your snare will not hold me long!” Javis snarled, thrashing as the blanket covered his body.

“It’s a blanket. It’ll help you stay warm,” Melody replied evenly.

“Oh.” Javis stopped thrashing for a moment, the expression in his eye making it clear he was thinking. “Right. I could have figured that out, if you hadn’t assaulted me with it.”

“Sure.”

Melody shook her head and went back upstairs. She’d need to get a few things in order for today, and she also didn’t want to spend too much time near Javis. She had a feeling he’d drive her insane if she did.

There was a notification on her computer. Catherine had replied to her email.

To: Melody Amaranth
From: Catherine Leone
Subject: RE: Need help
Hey Melody,
There’s a few important things to keep in mind when trying to look after someone who identifies as evil. First, make sure not to overstate your help. They’ll think you’re trying to manipulate them. Second, give them some agency. Obviously you don’t want to give them free reign, since they’re evil, but let them have something they feel they can control. Don’t infringe on this, don’t let them know you know. Pepper has a few necromantic projects with dead bugs in jars and she has no idea that I know about them. Last, be firm. Set boundaries and don’t let them violate them. This goes counter to the previous point, somewhat. Their personal projects are the exception, up to a point. You’ll be able to figure out where that point is.
Anyway, if all that fails, feel free to give me a call. This supervillain’s daughter can keep her mouth shut when it matters.
Catherine

Melody let out a sigh of relief and leaned back in her seat. At least she had one person on her side. Someone who could lend advice and help.

The gnawing worry in her stomach faded, just a little bit.

Chapter Text

The fridge was all but empty.

Melody knew this was going to happen. She’d been almost out for a while now, and having to feed Javis as well meant that she was now actually out of food.

The idea of trudging through the snow to Greenridge was not exactly appealing. She could use the astral bell and skip straight to the Leones’ magic shop, but doing that meant she’d still have to come back through the snow, which was still not fun. At least it wasn’t actively snowing today.

At least Javis was being quiet for now. Melody had given him an old puzzle cube she had in her closet, one she’d jumbled up and then never had the patience to unscramble. He was absorbed in its multicolored faces, flicking the sides along at rapid speeds as he tried to figure out how to consolidate the colors. If nothing else, it meant he would mind his own business most of the time.

Did that mean she felt like it was a good idea to leave him alone here? Absolutely not. But she’d need to in order to go get food.

No use stalling, then. It was time to go.

“Javis, I’m going to go into town to get some more food,” Melody announced, putting on her coat. Then her scarf. Then her mittens.

You can’t leave him here. He’ll destroy everything.

“Mhm.” Javis barely acknowledged her. Not so much the grand schemer he always seemed to be.

“I’ll be back later today.” Melody put on her hat. “Don’t rewrite reality while I’m gone.”

“I will refrain from doing that.”

That was as good as she was going to get. Melody opened the front door and forged a path through the snow.

O-O-O

Javis waited patiently for the door to close, then watched through the window as Melody started off. He waited until she was well out of sight. And then he gave it another hour before…

Before…

Nothing.

What was he going to do? Start drawing another ritual circle? Fat chance at that. He’d started on the first one only hours after Melody went upstairs, and he still hadn’t been done by the time she’d returned. If his legs worked he’d be able to pull it off, but it turned out that he was susceptible to starvation. Big surprise, even for him. He could at least move his legs now, but standing was out of the picture.

Besides, if he managed to finish the ritual circle it still wouldn’t give him the upper hand. Transforming this house into a dungeon would be a good start, but what was he going to do with it? Stage a siege? Without a Scrambler? Not happening. Not with Melody’s friends so close at hand. If it was just Melody it would be possible, but even then she had a lot more power than he wanted to admit.

Javis still remembered the blinding flash, as Melody engulfed him in light to shred what was left of his godlike form…

She was the soft one. The weak one. The one whose heart was too big for her brain. And she was instrumental in his apotheosis failing. Oh sure she’d had help from the other one, with the ears, and Claire Higsby had been instrumental in getting them to that point, but it was Melody Amaranth who was his undoing.

She scared him. She disgusted him. She made him want to scream that the world was constructed wrong. The strong should have power over the weak, and all his efforts should not have gone to waste like this.

And yet here he was. Lying on her couch because his legs didn’t work. Relying on her seemingly endless mercy because he would never be able to fend for himself. He hated it. He hated her.

She’d even managed to burn her name into his thoughts. Melody. Melody Amaranth. As much as he wanted to reject it, to focus on things more important than some hairy, he could not. Because she had not only beat him to a pulp, but then pulled him from the snow. Claire Higsby was responsible for bringing Javis' attention to this world, but Melody was responsible for pissing him off.

He was so mad. So infuriated. And all he could do was sit here and seethe.

Javis adjusted on the couch to try and find a more comfortable position. Maybe he could enact his revenge by being petty and destroying her things. He’d just have to wait until he was on his way out to -

“Ow!”

Something had jabbed him. Something pointy and rigid and hidden between the cushions. For a moment he considered that maybe it was placed there intentionally, to torment him further, but on second thought that didn’t fit Amaranth’s M.O. No, she was more likely to try and wriggle her way in with false kindness than to torment him physically.

Javis dug around between the cushions until his fingers found something rigid. It was wooden, though the ends were somewhat prickly and sharp. He extracted it with care, squinting at the object in his hand.

It was a wand. Made out of cactus. There was a bit of green crystal in the handle, the focal point of the wand’s magic-focusing powers.

If Javis had a mouth, he’d be grinning like a lunatic.

Now this… this had potential.

And he could hear Melody returning now…

O-O-O

Melody was pleasantly surprised to see that the streets of Greenridge were clear of snow. It was also notably warmer, which was the reason why the streets were snow-free. As far as the reason for the warmer temperature went, he was approaching her at rapid speeds.

“Greetings, Melody!” He rode in on a gust of wind, flying down from higher altitudes and waving one of his empty sleeves. The whirlwind that composed his lower body touched down on the flagstones, kicking up dirt.

“Hello Bigby.” Melody smiled at him. “How are you doing?”

“I am greatly enjoying the opportunity to flex my meteorological muscles,” Bigby said happily, “Though Miss Vincent has warned me not to meddle too much with the weather patterns. I had wanted to try some fancier precipitation - or perhaps give everyone a nice mid-winter beach day - but instead I have restrained myself to snowflakes.”

“Snowflakes?” Melody asked.

“Indeed! Observe.” One empty sleeve was brought out in front of Bigby, and from within a puff of frozen vapor emerged. The vapor coalesced into a cloud, and after a few moments snowflakes began to fall. “Naturally, every frozen drop will freeze into a hexagonal pattern, growing roughly evenly in every direction. But it’s so much more fascinating if you can put a little bit of artistry into each snowflake.”

Melody squinted at the snowflakes falling from the cloud. It took a few moments before she realized what was different. “They’re… seven sided.”

“Indeed!” Bigby didn’t really have a face, but his eye scrunched in a way that indicated his joy. “Such a tiny change took multiple months to engineer, but it’s such a monumental breakthrough! So-called ‘natural laws’ and ‘physics’ are no match for my determination! With more time I shall create even more interesting combinations!”

“Like an eight sided snowflake?” Melody raised one eyebrow.

“Think bigger!”

“A…. nine-sided snowflake?”

“Yes!” Bigby shouted. “Nine-sided snowflakes, and then beyond! HAHAHA!”

With that, Bigby flew off. If she hadn’t just been part of that conversation, she was sure she’d be extremely concerned at that moment. But it was just snowflakes. What harm could snowflakes do?

Actually, bad question. Never ask that question. Or anything like it. Nope. Moving on.

Melody hurried towards the grocery store. She still had an omnicidal maniac in her house, and the longer he went unsupervised the more likely something bad was to happen. Chatting was nice, but she shouldn’t delay.

The grocery store was small - of course it was, it was one of like four in the whole of Greenridge, and a fourth of the town wasn’t exactly a ton of people. Greenridge was home to about a thousand people, after all, even if it only felt like she saw a couple dozen. Melody navigated the aisles with experience - she knew what she wanted and she knew where it was. It didn’t take her long to fill her basket and get to checkout.

It was only on the way out of the store that things got more complicated.

Not bad complicated, but complicated nonetheless. Running into a friend shouldn’t make things more complicated, but today it did.

She barely noticed Jodie approaching, not until the two of them nearly collided. Melody stumbled back, nearly knocked off balance by the heavy grocery bags in her hands. Jodie reached out and caught her, pulling her back to her feet with a gentle tug.

“Close one.” Jodie gave her a quick smile.

“Sorry, I should have been paying more attention,” Melody said bashfully.

“It’s okay.” Jodie shrugged. “How’re you doing Mel?”

“Fine, just…” No, she really wasn’t fine. Jodie could probably tell immediately that something wasn’t right, but if Melody was lucky she wouldn’t call attention to it. “Trying to restock. I’ve been cooped up in my home trying to stay warm and almost ran out of food. So… here I am.”

“Yeah I could guess.” Jodie let out a light huff in amusement. “I haven’t seen you in weeks!”

“It’s kind of a pain to get through all the snow,” Melody replied with a scowl. She looked Jodie up and down. “You’re wearing winter gear for once.”

“Well, it is colder than most winters get.” Jodie picked at her heavy jacket. “And Faith refused to let me outside without wearing something warmer than usual, so here we are.”

“Good. Allison told me how you nearly froze on Flurry Mountain.” Melody let her scowl turn into a slight smile. “At least you’re avoiding that.”

“Yeah, well.” Jodie shrugged and made a gesture that was probably not meant to convey much of anything. “She’s only making me wear a jacket because I’m going out to get food for her. I suppose me forcing her to eat means she’s forcing me to stay warm.”

“Can’t Faith… conjure food?” Melody asked, “I’m sure I heard her talking about that at some point.”

“Oh sure, but conjured food’s kind of bland compared to the real deal.” Jodie frowned, just a little bit. “If you can conjure food. It’s not the easiest spell.”

“I know,” Melody said, cringing just a little bit.

“Hey, it was a good attempt at porridge!” Jodie protested.

“It was supposed to be a hamburger…”

“That doesn’t make it not a good attempt,” Jodie encouraged, “Practice is how you get anywhere.”

“Thanks Jodie.” Melody’s smile grew. “I appreciate it.”

“It’s the truth.” Jodie shrugged.

Melody stood there awkwardly for a moment before she started to edge away. “I, uh, should probably get going. Some of these need to be in the fridge.”

“Right.” Jodie nodded, then paused. “Do you need a hand?”

“I’m good, but thank you.”

“Alright then.” Jodie smiled. “I’ll see you around, Mel.”

“See you Jodie.”

Parting ways was always awkward, but it felt a lot worse than usual this time. Probably because Melody had just lied to one of her closest friends.

But she didn’t have a choice.

It was only later, on the long walk back home, that Melody realized she’d made a colossal mistake. Jodie had just offered to help with whatever Melody needed, and Melody had turned her down. She knew Jodie would be willing to help with whatever. Even taking care of Javis, if needed. And Melody knew Jodie could keep a secret. She could have just said yes. She should have just said yes. She could have explained the situation to Jodie and it would have been fine. But now it was too late and she was on her way home.

You don’t even trust your friends anymore.

Melody heaved out a heavy sigh as she arrived home. That certainly put a damper on her mood for the rest of the day.

She got the front door unlocked after finagling with her groceries and her house key for a few minutes, and she opened the door to step inside.

“Javis, I’m back. I’ve got groceries.”

Melody made it to the counter and set down the grocery bags before she realized something was wrong. Javis usually had something snarky or rude to say. But he’d been quiet this time. She walked over to the couch to look down at Javis.

Javis looked back at her with the most smug look in his eye. He pointed a cactus wand at her. “Bye-bye.”

Energy rippled along the wand, charging a blast of corrupting power. The wand began changing colors in uneven patches, flipping between the carved cactus and various shades of pink, orange, and blue. Space around the wand shunted to the sides in unnatural ways, breaking and cracking like pixels on a dying screen. Seconds stretched into what felt like forever as Melody stared down the barrel of the metaphorical gun.

The beam hit her in the chest, burning away at her being. She stumbled back as it slipped past her clothes to gnaw at her fur and skin. She could feel the spell trying to rip her apart, attacking her magic directly to distort and corrupt her. She’d felt it before, though not often, when Javis had tried to kill everyone. To say that it burned wouldn’t be right, because it was cold, but to call it freezing would leave out the way it ignited every nerve in her body. Melody gritted her teeth and braced her stance, fighting desperately to stay herself. To not let the corruption into her thoughts.

And then the wand broke.

The end snapped clean off, turned from carved cactus to some kind of pearl as it fell to the floor. Javis stared dumbfounded at the broken wand for less than a second, and then the magic erupted back into him.

Javis was flung to the floor as energy crackled from the broken handle of the wand, arcing backwards to strike him. He screamed in agony from the backblast, subjected to his own power for once. His form shuddered and sparked, glitching from side to side as his death grip on the wand prevented him from ending the spell.

Melody stared at him for a moment. Just a moment. A moment to consider letting him burn out here. Letting him expend all his magic in this burst and learn his lesson.

And then she ran forward, climbing over the couch to rip the wand from his grip. It had become ash, held in shape only by the remnants of the weird magic only Javis knew how to properly channel. It crumbled in her grip, collecting in a pile on the floor.

Javis lay on the floor, taking shuddering breaths as he stared at the ceiling. He was alive, but clearly much worse for wear. Probably burned out on his mana and physically battered by the magical backlash.

She really could just leave him to lay here. A monument to his own hubris. It would be so easy to leave him broken and bruised. Or to toss him out into the snow and let him be taken by the elements. He would deserve it, too, for trying to kill her again. With one of her own wands, no less. But…

You’re too weak.

Melody knelt down and began casting. She purged the corruption from him with one spell, purifying his essence of his own favorite spell. She mended his body with the next, good old Second Aid coming in handy as usual. And then she gave him just a bit more, a gift only an amorous paladin could give: some of her own mana to start his recovery process.

Then she slumped back, letting out an exhausted sigh.

It was several minutes before anything else happened. Just Melody sitting there and Javis laying flat on the floor.

“Why…” Javis groaned.

“Because-,” Melody started, only for Javis to cut her off.

“Why are your wands so shit ?!” Javis complained, “It just broke! You hairies have awful craftsmanship.”

“...It’s a novice’s wand. Made of cactus.” Melody sighed and stood up. “No wonder it broke when you used your glitch magic. It wasn’t designed for that.”

“Your world is stupid and fragile.” Javis huffed.

“And you just tried to murder me.” Melody shook her head and reached down. “Again. Which means…”

She didn’t even bother lifting him all the way off the floor this time. She just dragged him to the door.

“Wait,” Javis protested, “Wait wait wait wait wait.”

Melody paused for a moment, then turned the doorknob.

“I won’t do it again,” Javis said, desperation in his voice.

“I don’t believe you,” Melody said.

“I promise.” Javis sounded panicked now. “I swear, in the name of the Queen I won’t do it again.”

“You already proved you don’t actually care what Verena wants or thinks.” She opened the door, just a little bit, and the cold began to bleed into the house.

“Then I swear on my life!” Javis shouted, “I swear I will not raise a weapon against you, not ever again! Just please! Please don’t put me back in the snow!”

Melody stopped.

You’re too soft. You’ll let him get away with anything.

She took a deep breath and swallowed. She fully intended to follow through on the punishment, but…

He’s going to try again.

Melody closed the door and let go of Javis’ collar, letting him drop to the floor. She returned to the counter, putting away the groceries with stiff, almost robotic movements. Everything hurt, but she wasn’t going to let it show while Javis was in the room.

This was a mistake. This whole thing with bringing Javis in to nurse him back to health. He couldn’t even walk and he’d nearly killed her. Sure he’d promised to never do it again, but she couldn’t trust him. Not even a little. She didn’t even know how he’d found the cactus wand.

Whatever. She’d made up her mind. He was staying, but one more strike and she’d throw him out.

Hopefully Allison was having a good vacation…

Chapter Text

Allison wasn’t sure if she was having a good time at this point.

On the one hand, there were plenty of moments of exhilaration and excitement. Funky monsters made of shadows, light, fire, and bones were plentiful down in the tombs. Puzzles of all kinds, from sliding blocks to riddles to tests of skill, filled the seemingly endless hallways. Even in places without monsters or challenges, there were things to look at. It was a tomb, after all, and every wall had some kind of memorial to a long dead hero or ancient king. Some of them even predated the age of magic entirely. Allison rarely felt bored with everything going on.

But on the other hand, those boring moments were boring. She was underground, in a dusty old tomb, with no cell reception. When she had nothing to do she felt like she was going crazy. And going back to the point that it was a dusty old tomb, the place smelled like mold and rot. Allison hadn’t seen the sun in what felt like forever. She didn’t have any reception. And worst of all, she hadn’t gotten to talk to Melody the whole time she was down here.

Right now was one of those immensely dull moments. Mom was hard at work translating an ancient text for the password to a door and Allison had basically nothing to do. Instead she had her phone out and was scrolling through old chat logs from the guild group chat to try and find something to keep her brain from turning to mush.

There were some classics in the ‘old’ logs. Like the entire page composed entirely of pictures of toilets, each one captioned ‘toilet’. That little in-joke had years of history behind it. Or the meme Claire had sent of Roy staring off into the sunset, simply captioned ‘man’. One picture that always got a chuckle out of Allison was a photo of Zinnia staring down at a plate of cinnamon rolls in utter horror, the pastries burnt so badly that they were pretty much just charcoal. The kicker, though, was Verena just barely visible in the background, laughing so hard she was nearly on the floor. Just the image of these two normally composed women in such opposing states of emotional extremity made Allison crack up.

The accompanying story Claire had included made it all the better. Apparently Zinnia had sneezed at the wrong time, and the rest was history.

Well, the cinnamon rolls were history, at least.

And then Allison reached the end of what she had saved on her phone. She sighed and put it away, then leaned back against the wall.

“I feel like we haven’t been outside in ages ,” Allison complained.

“It’s been a little over two days,” Amelia said absentmindedly, flipping through the pages of a crackly old tome. Each page was covered in runes that Allison couldn’t decipher, but apparently her mother was fluent enough to skim for what she was looking for. After a moment she looked up with a look of mild concern. “Is something bothering you?”

“I didn’t think dungeon delving could be this boring,” Allison admitted with a sigh.

“Well, what did you think it would be like?” Amelia set the book aside and leaned forward.

“I don’t know…” Allison huffed and crossed her arms. “Javis’ dungeons always had something interesting going on, and the whole time I was in the Crypt all I could think about was making you proud and… I guess it all gave me the wrong impression.”

“I guess the Mortendis catacombs weren’t the best idea, then.” Amelia frowned. “Most dungeons aren’t as sprawling. I’m sorry.”

“No, no!” Allison put her hands up. “It’s not really important, I’m just complaining. Sorry.”

“If it’s bothering you, then it is important.”

“No, it’s…” Allison shook her head. “My ADHD is acting up and I need something to occupy me.”

“Well…” Amelia grabbed the ancient tome again. “If you’d like, I could walk you through the basics of the Mortendisi language. It’s surprisingly simple.”

“Sure, why not.” Allison stood up straight. “Fair warning, my brain might fall out of my ears at any minute.”

“There are plenty of jars of embalming fluid around here, I’m sure I can make sure it survives the rest of the trip.” Amelia smiled lightly, then gestured Allison over. She put one fingertip to a series of runes. “See these? This is the most basic expression in Mortendisi. It roughly translates to ‘therefore’, or ‘it is known’. The Mortendisi relied a lot on certainties, at least in language.”

“Okay. So they don’t like leaving things up to interpretation,” Allison commented. She scanned the pages. “Which is probably why a lot of these runes look like things. I’m guessing that this one translates to either ‘death’, ‘skull’, or ‘skeleton’?”

“Exactly.” Amelia paused, blinking. Then she smiled, flipping through the pages until she reached one in particular. “Exactly! So the passage I’m stuck on translates either to ‘broken artistry’ or ‘gateway forward’. It’s associated with the door, as indicated by the symbol in the center of the page, but the rest of the page is filled with more standard Reverian runes, rather than Mortendisi. They’re not even arranged correctly, which is the part that has me stumped.”

Allison frowned, looking down at the book, then up at the door. Something about the way the runes were arrayed on the page was bugging her. While Mortendisi runes were generally flowing and symbolic, Reverian runes were angular and sharp-edged. In fact, Allison saw Reverian runes pretty often - they were all over some of the older ruins in the Sapphire Islands and used in some of Javis’ magic. Verena even used them sometimes, unconsciously reverting to the older language rather than the modern script.

The door, on the other hand, had Mortendisi runes up the center and in short diagonal lines pointing towards the corners. Allison looked at the book again. Then at the door.

“Wait a minute.” Allison frowned. “Doesn’t the door have a big rectangular blank spot in the center?”

“Yes.” Amelia tilted her head. “Wh- oh. I see.”

Amelia picked up the tome from its podium and brought it to the book, placing the cover of the book against the center of the door. From her position farther away, Allison could see now that the runes formed a big X across the center of the door, along with what looked like some kind of wide-headed tool with a long handle. Amelia backed away just a little bit to get a better look.

“Well that was clever,” Amelia said, “Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes to get the full picture, I suppose.” She let out a light chuckle. “Now we just need to find the key. It could very well be anywhere…”

“Wait, I got the key right here.” Allison reached into her bag and rooted around for a bit. The inside was much bigger than the outside would indicate, thanks to the hammerspace spell Claire had cast on it. Allison found what she was looking for and grinned. “You’re going to want to back up.”

“Allison, what are you doing?” Amelia narrowed her eyes.

“Opening the door.” Allison extracted from within her bag a massive hammer. It was almost as long as she was tall, topped with a head forged from pink-tinted metal. She hefted it, then braced the handle on her shoulder.

As Amelia scrambled away from the door with the tome in hand, Allison stepped forward. She lowered the hammer from her shoulder, tapping the head against the floor as she braced. Then she swung with all her might, slamming the head of the hammer into the center of the door. The impact sent tremors all through her body, but the stone buckled beneath the might of the blow. The door collapsed inwards, leaving behind a doorway that was, surprisingly, clear of debris.

Allison planted the head of the hammer on the floor and leaned against the handle with a grin. “I unlocked it.”

“You certainly did.” Amelia laughed. “That doesn’t always work, you know. A lot of dungeons have measures in place specifically to prevent that.”

“Yeah, but the book specifically said ‘broken artistry’ and ‘gateway forward’, and you don’t just put a big X and a hammer on something if it isn’t supposed to be broken.” Allison shrugged. “You said the Mortendisi don’t leave things up to interpretation. No maybes, right? No metaphors or workarounds.”

Amelia beamed “Absolutely. Well done!”

Pride bloomed in Allison’s chest, and her grin widened even further. Sometimes she felt useless or dumb, but right now she was on top of the world. For once, smashing things had been the correct course of action. Take that, Claire!

Okay, admittedly Claire was right about this sort of thing a lot more often than Allison was, but she was going to take this win, dammit!

“Door’s open now, let’s take a look at the vault.” Allison picked up the hammer and returned it to her adventuring bag. She shouldered the bag and stepped through the empty doorway, only to let out a yelp and stumble back.

There was a body sitting against the wall, ancient and mummified. The skin left on their desiccated corpse was drawn tight, many of the extremities missing entirely. Tattered rags of some kind of fabric draped over their form. They had been an elf, based on the skull shape and lack of features that would indicate another species. Or maybe a very tall dwarf. A chisel and a hammer lay in their hands, gripped tightly by dead fingers.

“Oh. Well, that would explain how the Mortendisi pulled it off without magic.” Amelia let out a heavy sigh, staring down at the corpse. “The most skilled craftsmen were frequently buried with their works. I suppose this poor soul was buried in it instead.”

“Why not just use magic?” Allison asked, unable to pull her eyes from the corpse. “Or use some other method that doesn’t require you to kill someone? Did they never even think of doors you can open and close?”

“Whatever’s down here they never expected to bring back out, I would guess.” Amelia slipped past Allison and knelt down to closer inspect the body. After a moment she stood back up and waved one hand in front of her face, her eyes lighting up for a moment before returning to normal. “And there’s no magic on this side of the door. I think this part of the tomb predates the age of magic entirely.”

“Woah…” Allison looked around at the walls. They were over a thousand years old, carved before mortals were gifted with magic. From the days when gods hid away from the world. “They didn’t have to lock a living person in here though.”

“Oh I fully agree. I try to avoid judging other cultures, but those that sacrifice people are fair game.” Amelia shook her head. “I just hope this poor soul knew what they were getting into.”

“So does the whole, ‘before the age of magic’ thing mean there will be no monsters?” Allison asked, trying to change the subject.

“No, unfortunately. It just means that the monsters we do find will be naturally occurring - or at least not specifically crafted.” Amelia rested her hand on the hilt of her sword. “So stay sharp. It’s still a catacomb, and anywhere there’s a lot of dead bodies there will be spirits.”

“Fun.” Allison reached up to make sure her sword was in its place on her back.

They set off, deeper into the catacombs.

Despite Amelia’s warning, there never was anything else to attack them. It was eerily still, somehow more than the miles of tunnels and tombs they’d traversed to get this far. Not an iota of dust marked these walls, not a single cobweb in any corner. There were no shambling undead, too far gone to even recognize other people. No monsters, made of magic and whatever else could coalesce from the environment. No spirits, bemoaning their loss of life and looking to take what they could from others.

It put Allison on edge.

There also were far fewer coffins. Mom had warned against opening any of the ones above for fear of disturbing spirits, but the ones down here felt wrong to even look at. Like she was intruding on a secret, sacred place. Rummaging through someone else’s stuff. The passages above had felt abandoned, but this place felt like it was still owned. Like someone still laid claim to this space.

“So, uh…” Allison trailed off for a moment, looking around before she continued. “What exactly are we here looking for again? I may have zoned out while you were talking to that elf.”

“I don’t know,” Amelia said, “Something divine, apparently. They said we’d know it when we saw it.”

“That’s unhelpful.” Allison pulled a face. “‘You’ll know it when you see it’ is some real bullshit. It also sounds like someone who’s hoping we’ll fish something good out of the catacombs and hand it to them.” She snorted. “‘Oh yeah, I lost, uh, a bunch of treasure in that dungeon. What kind? Oh, just bring me whatever you find.’ Yeah right.”

“While I would normally agree, Fenn was very insistent that we would find something here. In the oldest parts of the catacombs, specifically.” Amelia shrugged. “They seem to have done their research.”

“I mean, it’s not like I’d say no to an adventure, but it’s kinda weird.” Allison shrugged. “Usually someone can pretty accurately describe what they’re-,”

Allison stopped, a shiver running through her body. It was like being electrocuted and snap frozen all at once, but without any of the pain and she didn’t feel cold. Amelia stopped too, her fur standing on end for a moment before relaxing.

“What was that?” Allison asked.

“I have no idea.” Amelia casted her magic detection spell again, only to frown as it failed. She tried again, then looked at Allison. “Magic’s gone.”

“Horrifying.” Allison drew her sword, examining it. The electricity that usually hummed inside the blade had gone silent. “Have you ever seen that happen before?”

“No.” Amelia looked around cautiously. “Plenty of negative effects to punish magic use, plenty of places oversaturated with mana, or that were so barren they siphoned it out of you. But never a place with no magic whatsoever. Something is wrong.”

“Are we turning back?”

“No.” Amelia shook her head. “Just be careful. We don’t have any safety nets in here.”

With that worrying thought, they continued on.

There was a set of doors ahead, of the normal hinged kind (“So they do know how to make multiple-use doors! What assholes.”) inscribed with feathered patterns. Ancient paint, preserved by the motionless, dry air of the deepest section of the catacombs, depicted sunbursts and god rays beaming down from above. It was a scene that should be displayed in a cathedral.

It was also a huge hint that Fenn hadn’t been leading them astray.

The door wasn’t trapped, Amelia’s quick inspection revealed that much. And if it was magically warded or cursed they had no way to find out or defend against it anyway. They pushed the door open to reveal the room beyond.

The first thing that drew the eye was the glowing golden orb in the center of the room. It was made out of interlocking rings inscribed with Reverian runes. Each ring moved independently, slowly rotating around some hidden center point. An enormous single-edged sword impaled the orb from above, the blade slipping through a gap in the ring to end somewhere inside the sphere. The sword itself was forged of some kind of black metal, with an edge that seemed to eat the nearby light. While the weapon had no crossguard, the grip was dotted with tiny holes and the pommel was a wicked spike. The thing practically reeked of evil, which didn’t necessarily mean anything but it did mean that Allison wanted nothing to do with it.

Oh, and the rest of the room was ornately carved as well. Arched ceiling and solemn statues and all that. With a podium covered entirely in Mortendisi runes in the center, holding the golden sphere on a claw-like iron stand.

“There it is,” Amelia said, grimacing, “Our artifact.”

“The sword or the sphere?” Allison asked, slowly circling around the room.

“Both, most likely. Many of the relics from before the age of magic are divine in one form or another, regardless of appearance.” Amelia started circling the other direction. “Even in the modern day, the gods aren’t all positive.”

“Like, it’s a cool sword, but that’s pretty obviously cursed, right?”

“If not cursed then at least exceptionally destructive.”

They both reached the other side at the same time, still both staring up at the sword.

“So something is definitely wrong here, right?” Allison gestured at the sword and the orb. “Like, they put it here for a reason.”

“It’s definitely not something the Mortendisi wanted out in the world.” Amelia scratched her chin. “But is the sword sealing the orb, or is the orb sealing the sword?”

There was relative silence for a few moments, disturbed only by the faint sound of chimes coming from the golden orb.

“It is a cool sword,” Allison said.

“It really is.” Amelia nodded.

“Are we going to bring it back to Fenn anyway?”

“Yes, I think so.” Amelia reached out and placed her hands on the orb, lifting it from its stand. She tilted her head. “Lighter than expected, though the orb seems to be naturally buoyant. Interesting.”

“This feels like a terrible idea,” Allison groaned.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Amelia replied calmly. She smiled, just a little bit. “Don’t worry too much, sweetie. If it comes down to it, I know someone who can put this somewhere safe.”

And so they began the long trek back out of the catacombs.

“At least Melody’s safe and sound at home,” Allison muttered to herself, “away from all this weirdness.”

Chapter Text

“Is this the idol of one of your so-called gods? Some kind of primitive altar?”

Melody took a deep breath and closed her eyes before letting it out slowly. She set down the knife before turning to look at Javi.

“It’s a scratching post.”

“For your claws? Yes, I can see there are claw marks on it. You use this device to… what? Vent frustrations?”

“I have a nail file. The scratching post is for my cat.”

Javis stared at her blankly, clearly expecting some kind of further explanation. For a minute she was tempted to deny it to him, but she knew he’d just bug her about something else after a while anyways. At least it was better than the insults, and significantly better than the attempts on her life.

“A nail file-,” Melody began.

“I know what a nail file is. Queen Verena had one. It’s a little prop for pretending you’re not paying attention. What is a ‘cat’?”

“A small mammal, usually kept as a pet.”

“I see, some manner of slave you force to use this wooden pole instead of having access to more normal hygiene tools.” Javis nodded sagely.

“What?!” Melody sputtered. She was really glad now that she’d started by putting the knife down or she might have cut herself. “No, cats are animals.”

“You said that it’s a mammal, which you also are.” Javis crossed his arms. “Ergo-,”

“Animals aren’t the same as beastfolk!” Melody shook her head. “It’s really not that complicated. It’s like the difference between you and a regular VHS tape!”

“So it’s alright to enslave them because they are mentally inferior, I see now.” Javis rubbed his chin, or where it would be if he had one. “Truly dastardly.”

“You-!” Melody bit off the end of her sentence, scowling at Javis. “Stop that.”

“What?” Javis tilted his head. “I was just connecting the information you gave me.”

“Were tape troopers people?” Melody asked suddenly.

“Uh, no?” Javis almost recoiled. “They were simple creatures, driven by instinct. Some of them were smart enough to do a few tricks but they weren’t very bright as a whole.”

“Right. You’re messing with me.” Melody shook her head and turned back around, returning to her task of cutting vegetables. “Stop it.”

“Why, I would never! Your accusation wounds me, Melody Amaranth,” Javis announced melodramatically. She heard him flop onto the couch. “I may very well be emotionally devastated from this. I might never recover.”

Melody ignored him, shaking her head. He’d managed to stand up on his own this morning and the day since that point had been nothing but Javis pestering her. At least he wasn’t brave enough to try and head upstairs yet, though that didn’t exactly inspire confidence in her. He could access her downstairs closet now, and that’s where she kept most of her adventuring gear. She’d have to move that soon, for her own safety.

Melody scooped up the chopped veggies and dumped them in the pot. They were having soup again. It was easy, it was warm, and it was tasty. No reason not to have soup again. Also she wanted an excuse to stay downstairs for longer periods of time to keep an eye on Javis. Not that she really needed one, except in her own head.

With the soup simmering, Melody stepped over to glance at Javis over the back of the couch. “You finished the puzzle cube.”

“Yes. It was simple enough to return all of the sides to their rightful color once I figured the algorithm out. Despite the apparent complexity it really was just a math problem.” Javis waved one hand dismissively, the cube held in the other. He was idly rotating the sides as he spoke. “I am more than accustomed to thinking in four dimensions, which makes your little color-cube look like child’s play in comparison.”

“Well, I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. I’ll get you something more complicated next time.”

“I didn’t say it was bad ,” Javis protested, flicking through several combinations, “Just that it was easy.”

“...So do you want a new puzzle?”

“No. I have yet to truly unlock all the secrets of this cube.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I got it scrambled and couldn’t figure out how to get it back to the way it started.” Melody shrugged.

“Th-,” Javis cut himself off before he said whatever he was about to say. Instead he said, “It’s better than sitting and letting my mind melt.”

“Allison’s the same way,” Melody said, “Either she’s super focused on one thing for hours or she can’t focus on anything at all, and if there’s nothing to do at all she gets really upset.”

“The difference there is that my mind is supremely productive while your friend simply has a defective brain.”

“Excuse me?” Melody put her hands on her hips and scowled.

Javis froze in the middle of rotating the puzzle cube, blinking for a few moments. “I sense. That I have done something to agitate you.”

“You’d sense correctly. Apologize.”

“But I-,” Javis stopped, sighing. He clearly thought better of whatever he was going to say. “Sorry.”

“Good.” Melody shook her head and went back to the counter. She might as well start cleaning up now, to make it easier later.

While she was carefully cleaning the vegetable knife, she heard Javis stand up. The light slap of his tape legs against the floor moved away, and the curtains shifted a bit.

“One of those things is over by your mailbox,” He said.

Melody slowly put the knife down, frowning. “What kind of thing?”

“Hairy and four-limbed.”

“That’s not even slightly helpful, Javis.” Melody sighed and turned around, walking over to peer through the window next to him.

“It’s accurate, though. Look.” He pointed, tapping one of his flat-tipped fingers against the window.

Sure enough, there was a creature on Melody’s front lawn. It certainly was four-limbed, and hairy, but it was an incomplete description. It wasn’t an animal - that was made clear immediately by the way its fur was almost completely black, with purple dots across its form. Its colors shifted with every slight movement, providing a disconcerting effect that she recognized from creatures like hole hounds and paindeer. In shape the monster was a bear, though its face lacked eyes and its front paws were big and rounded instead of clawed. It moved slowly across Melody’s yard, knocking over the fence as it absentmindedly rooted around in the snow.

“Oh that’s not good,” Melody muttered.

“Your neighbors are very rude, gotta say,” Javis commented.

“That’s not a person, Javis,” Melody replied, “You know what a monster is.”

“Yes, but you have to admit that it strongly resembles someone.” Javis waved one hand in a circle, like he was trying to remember someone. “The brutish individual, whatshername. With the axe.”

“Paula?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t bother to commit it to memory.”

“...Wow. Ok. Even the people you work with aren’t…” Melody shook her head and sighed. “So Paula is a polar bear - or, well, a polar bear beast folk. That -,” She pointed out the window. “Is a bear. Just a bear. Or, um, a monster that looks like a bear. Give me a second.”

Melody pulled out her phone and started typing. After a few moments, and a picture taken, she had an answer.

“Right, so Claire says that it’s called an unbear. Apparently it’s strong enough to knock over full-grown trees, so we’re just going to sit here and wait for it to go away.” Melody put away her phone. “They don’t usually show up on this island, so one being here is… weird. Not impossible though.”

“Huh.” Javis narrowed his eye as he looked out the window, rubbing his chin. “I sure could have used something like that…”

“It’s also susceptible to fire, like most animal-shaped monsters.” Melody stepped away from the window and went back to washing the dishes. “So even if you had managed to get your hands on an un-bear or two, I’m pretty sure Claire would have lit them on fire.”

“Touche.”

For a little bit, Javis sat in silence, likely watching the unbear through the window. Then he spoke again.

“It’s messing with your mailbox.” There was a heavy thump outside. “It knocked the mailbox over, actually.”

Melody sighed. “We’ll have to wait until it leaves before I can do anything about that.”

“Wait, it’s leaving.”

Melody set out the knife and the cutting board to dry, then made her way over to the window. Sure enough, the unbear was starting to amble away, snuffling along the ground as it padded through the snow.

Only once it was out of sight for a solid minute did Melody make her way over to the front door. She undid the bolt and unlocked it, then paused.

“I’m going to go try to fix my mailbox. I’ll be right back.”

Don’t leave him unwatched.

Melody hesitated a moment, then shook her head and went outside.

She forged a path through the snow and down to her mailbox. What she saw there made her groan in frustration. The unbear had snapped the mailbox off its post, leaving the top two-thirds of the post laying in the snow and the bottom third still securely planted in the ground. It wasn’t unfixable, but it was supremely annoying. Melody did, fortunately, know a small spell to mend breaks and tears, so she could fix it. Eventually. Might as well get started now, then.

Melody lifted the broken top part of the pole and put it back in its place. Fortunately it seemed as though it had just been snapped off, no twisting to break the wood in an even harder to fix way. While it was in place, Melody started casting.

It was funny, she’d picked this spell up after the invasion had been averted. Allison’s favorite jacket had gotten torn (in a ‘this is going to fall apart’ way rather than in a cool way) and she’d sullenly put it aside for a few weeks. Melody had gone out of her way to find a way to fix it, and that was the whole reason she knew the spell at all. It was one of the few spells she’d learned for the sake of convenience - alongside a location spell for her keys and a cantrip to clean up loose fur. But out of those convenience spells, it was absolutely the most useful. Except when the shower drain got clogged. Then the hair cleaning spell was supreme.

Well, it wasn’t perfect and she’d have to come finish the job later, but the mailbox was reattached. Her fence would need the same treatment, but that could wait until the snow melted.

With that done, Melody started walking back towards the front door. She was about halfway there when she heard a low grunt from somewhere in the woods.

Melody turned slowly, eyes wide. The unbear hadn’t left, it had just circled back around. It was rooting around in the snow near the edge of the woods, unable to see her due to its lack of eyes. But it was worryingly close, and slowly ambling closer.

She quickly made her way back to the front door and turned the knob -

It was locked.

Melody felt like her heart was going to explode for a brief moment of terror. She tried again, only for the same result. The door was locked. She hadn’t locked it.

“Javis,” Melody said quietly. There was no response. Of course there wasn’t. “Javis open this door.”

There was a muffled ‘Hmm, don’t know if that was her.’

“JAVIS!” Melody shouted. Then she immediately cringed, and glanced at the unbear. Its ears had perked up, and its eyeless face turned in her general direction, but it didn’t seem to have located her.

“Oh,” Javis’ voice said on the other side of the door, “What was that?”

“Let me back in, Javis,” Melody hissed.

“Hmm… Nah.”

“I’m not kidding, Javis! Let me in!”

The unbear was getting closer, sniffing along the ground as it approached.

“What’s in it for me?” Javis asked.

“Javis, please,” Melody pleaded, “Please.”

 Javis didn’t have anything to say for a little while, and during that time the unbear only got closer. It balled up its front paws and started to rear up.

The door clicked and opened, and Melody scrambled inside.

“I don’t know… why I did that,” Javis muttered.

Melody ignored him for the moment, slamming the door and leaning against it as she breathed heavily. Yellow light poured under the door and through the window. And then there was the heavy thump of the unbear falling back to all fours. It snuffled about for a solid minute, then started moving away.

Melody waited a bit longer before she finally started breathing again. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before she opened them again.

Then she saw what Javis had been up to while she was fixing her mailbox. Her adventuring bag was pulled out of the closet, open and with a bunch of potions, ethers, and chocolate bars laying around it in disarray. A handful of wands and an old trident had been tossed aside, piled against the wall. He’d gone through her adventuring gear, and clearly whatever he’d been looking for he hadn’t found. Melody took a few shaky steps towards her bag, reaching down to pick up a wand.

Melody looked over at Javis in dumbfounded shock. He was trying to avoid her gaze, his hands clasped behind his back and his eye flicking around to anything but her.

“You went through my stuff,” Melody accused breathlessly, “You were looking for another weapon.”

“Well - I mean - Maybe-,”

“You tried to get me killed by the unbear,” Melody said, staring at him in disbelief.

“Yes, I do admit that was a thought, but as you can see I thought better of it for some reason,” Javis protested.

“Get out of my house.”

Javis stiffened. “Well, I, I didn’t follow through with anything.”

“You went into my stuff, looking for a weapon , and you locked me outside in the hopes I’d get killed by a monster!”

“That may be true-,”

“You promised on your life that you’d never use a weapon against me!”

“I didn’t, in fact, use-,”

“Get out!”  Melody shouted, pointing at the door. “Get out of my house!”

Javis stood there, frozen like a scared animal. Melody hurled the wand at him, and Javis scrambled out of the way, sprinting out of the house. She watched him go, breathing heavily.

Everything felt awful. Melody felt like she was about to vomit. She had tears dripping down her cheeks and shaking hands, and it felt like her whole body hurt.

You knew this was coming.

Why did she feel so betrayed? Of course Javis would keep trying to betray her. Of course he was going to try to kill her. She’d thought that maybe, just maybe it would work out and then…

You fucked up.

He had been making progress. Or at least faking it, which was close enough. He’d stopped being antagonistic after the incident with the cactus wand. At least towards her. And he’d started apologizing when he did something rude, even if it was halfhearted and usually prompted. There had been attempts at improvement, which was more than she had initially hoped for.

And yet it was so much less than she had thought.

She shouldn’t be this upset over this. She shouldn’t. He’d tried to end the planet earlier this year. His attempts to murder her shouldn’t make this much of an impact. This one especially - the third try in as many days.

“You deserve this, you know.”

Melody looked up to see Harmony standing over her. Her doppelganger was looking at her dispassionately.

“I don’t need this from you right now,” Melody groaned in frustration, “I don’t need this right now!”

“You got yourself into this situation. And now you’ve ruined it.” Harmony shook her head. “I told you this would end poorly. And you didn’t listen. You never listen.”

“Go away,” Melody said listlessly.

“What did you think would happen, inviting a supervillain into your home?” Harmony asked rhetorically, “Did you think he’d have a sudden change of heart once he realized you were genuinely trying to help him? Of course he took advantage of you. It’s what he does.”

“He was doing better,” Melody murmured.

“He was learning how to manipulate you. And he succeeded. All it took was the right distraction and he could have killed you. You should have killed him when you found him in the snow.”

“I couldn’t do that…”

“You could and should.”

‘Just go away.”

“It’s true. You know it’s true. You should never have let him live.”

“Go away.”

“You keep doing this. You keep making things harder for yourself for no reason. First with the whole paladin thing and now with Javis. You should just give up while you still can.”

“Go away!” Melody held her hands up to her ears to try in vain to block out Harmony’s voice. She clenched her eyes shut, feeling the tears roll down her cheeks and dampen her fur. “Just go away!”

“You’re pathetic. This is why Allison didn’t want you to ruin her vacation.”

Someone screamed.

It took a few moments for Melody to realize that it hadn’t been her. That the scream had not only come from outside the house but from much farther away.

Melody started to stand up.

“It’s Javis. You know that, right?” Harmony scoffed. “You should let him die.”

Melody stumbled over to her adventuring bag and reached in. She hadn’t used this wand before. Claire had called dibs immediately. But Claire had gotten an upgrade, so into the hammerspace it had gone.

“He won’t thank you. He’ll probably just try to kill you again.”

Melody started marching. Out into the snow, where the biting cold made her tears like ice on her cheeks.

“Are you even listening to me?”

The screams echoed through the woods again, and Melody adjusted her course. Javis left no tracks in the snow, light as he was, so she’d need to follow the sound.

“Stop ignoring me!”

She picked up the pace, increasing from a march to a light jog. Into the treeline Melody went, focused and determined.

“Fine. Die for all I care.”

And then Harmony was gone.

Melody barely noticed.

Yellow light flashed through the woods, and Melody accelerated towards it.

Javis was backed against a tree, eye wide and hands upraised in a vain attempt to protect his head. He was cowering for a good reason, at least. Towering over him was the unbear, front paws balled into rounded fists. Its underbelly was covered in glowing yellow eyes, periodically pulsing with more light that made Javis’ movement stutter for a moment.

Melody raised the flame rod and cast a spell.

Fire erupted from the unbear’s side, causing it to stagger a bit as it turned to look at her. Half a dozen glowing eyes glared into her soul, magic pulsing out of them in slow, lazy waves. Melody fired off another scorch, lighting the unbear’s fur on fire. Which was enough. Melody cast gust.

The buffeting winds stoked the flames, causing a conflagration to blaze across the unbear’s form. It screamed, arching its back as its body was rapidly converted from magic to smoke. It dissolved in moments, leaving only a patch of melted snow and lightly scorched dirt to remember it by.

She whipped the wand around at Javis as he took a little step towards her. He flinched backwards, back against the tree, and his legs scrabbled weakly for a few moments before giving out entirely. He stared up at her in some combination of disbelief and terror, not even able to muster enough fight to shield his face. Melody could kill him here. It wouldn’t be hard. But even just standing here like this made her feel sick to her stomach.

She lowered the wand and turned away, walking stiffly back to her house.

She moved in a fugue after that point, picking up the mess that Javis had made of her stuff. After a while a timer dinged, and she made sure to take the soup off the stove before it burned. She didn’t have enough energy left to worry about Javis at this point, or to do much more than just sit and stare into the middle distance.

There was a knock at the front door.

Melody stared at the door for a little white before she stood up and walked over. She opened the door.

Javis looked ashamed, at least. She didn’t think it was possible. He had his gaze downcast and he was wringing his hands.

Melody sighed. “This is the last chance. Come on.”

As Javis scrambled inside, she knew that there was not going to be any payoff for her kindness. But it was the right thing to do. She refused to do any less.

Chapter Text

The return trip through the catacombs was easy.

Not ‘easier than the trip out’ or ‘relatively easy’, just easy. As in there was nothing to even slow them down. There was one heart stopping moment where Allison kicked an egg, but it had turned out to be filled with rotting yolk rather than evil. It didn’t occur to her until later that there really shouldn’t be a perfectly normal egg sitting in an ancient tomb, but weirder things had happened. Heck, weirder things had happened in that tomb . In hindsight it might not have been a normal egg, actually. Its lack of supernatural effect probably came down to the cargo that they were dragging out of the depths.

Said cargo was surprisingly easy to transport. The sword weighed almost nothing, possibly due to the ever-shifting ball of golden rings it was anchored in. Or maybe the sword was what lifted the ball of rings. Either way, it had a natural buoyancy to it, like a helium balloon after a few days, if significantly sharper. The anti-magic aura that had surrounded its holding chamber was attached to the sword - or possibly the rings - and had nullified all the dangers that had made getting in such a trial. Aside from the traps, which Amelia had dismantled on the way in.

Monsters that would have risen to halt them were dispersed at their most fundamental level. Spirits fled or fell dormant rather than try to persist in the anti-magic field. It would have been disappointing, if it weren’t for the fact that Allison was super done with being underground.

They were reaching the newest - still centuries old, of course - part of the crypt when Allison’s phone buzzed for a solid minute straight. She pulled it out of her pocket to start catching up with the backlog, only to pause when she saw the first message. Three simple words, sent by Melody:

I love you.

Her heart fluttered in her chest for a moment before she smiled and texted back. The same three words, with a heart emoji.

Only then did Allison actually bother looking at the rest of the messages. There was the usual suite of update emails from sites she no longer used, about a dozen new video notifications from content creators she liked, and spam. Always spam. As far as the things she was actually interested in, the guild group chat hadn’t been idle. Not exactly active, but Mel had posted a picture of a cool looking monster. That it was in her own front lawn was mildly worrying, but Allison was sure Melody could take care of herself. Claire had also sent her a direct message at exactly noon every single day with pictures of different holes in the ground. Allison made sure to add an emoji reaction to each one.

“Well you look happy,” Her mother said with a light chuckle.

“Sorry, I just…” Allison tucked away her phone. “Just glad to make contact with my friends again. It wasn’t that I didn’t like exploring the crypt, but…”

“Oh I get it. One of the best parts of dungeon delving is unwinding afterwards.” Amelia waved her free hand dismissively. “Besides, catacombs are pretty far from the most pleasant places to spend your time. Especially if they’re deep and enormous like Mortendis.”

Allison’s phone beeped again, and she frowned at it for a moment before realizing why it had done that. The battery had, finally, died.

Back into her pocket it went, for now. She’d be able to charge it once they got back to civilization.

Speaking of which, they still had quite the trek before they got back to the local town of Hopewell. So named because of the literal miracle well that served as the town’s only water source. It was something of a tourist attraction, since consumption of the water was rumored to have divine healing properties. The validity of that claim was up for debate, with official churches on both sides of the argument. Churches to the same god, even. It was a weird situation.

Amelia sent Allison ahead as they got closer to the town. It could be dangerous to bring a magic-nullifying aura too close to a populated place. Fortunately their destination was a short distance away from the town: a chapel constructed on a dusty hill. It was a non-denominational chapel, intended to be used by any worshiper of any god. That was where Fenn was, or at least where they had said they would be.

Allison reached the chapel and opened the front door. The great wooden door creaked loudly to announce her arrival. Allison slipped inside to see the cozy interior of the small chapel. It wasn’t very large, though it did have multiple rooms. The main chamber, with all the pews and stuff, was well-maintained. Not a speck of dust in sight. The wooden pews were polished, though old scuff marks were still present and preserved lovingly. The carpet was aged but well-kept, and the altar at the other end of the room was similarly taken care of.

Kneeling before the altar was the person Allison was looking for. Fenn rose as Allison entered, turning around to greet her. If there was one word Allison would use to describe Fenn, it was regal. The elf was dark-skinned and golden-haired, with that hair tied back in a ponytail and held there with a figure-eight ornament. Fenn was tall and willowy, clad in a plain, crisp, white robe. Fenn’s eyes were an almost luminescent shade of gold, though they were still within a natural range of possibility. A small smile graced Fenn’s soft features as they approached.

“Allison Goleta, it is good to see you well.” Fenn bowed their head, speaking softly in their almost musical voice. “You have returned a great deal faster than expected - is all well?”

“Oh, yeah, we just wanted to check in to make sure we were bringing the thing to the right place, because it’s got a whole aura around it that could really mess some stuff up, and-,” Allison took a deep breath, then let it out through pursed lips, puffing out her cheeks. “Sorry, just, a lot.”

“One of the artifacts does possess the ability to project a nullifying effect, yes.” Fenn nodded. “I take it that you have retrieved the divine relics, then?”

“Yeah, uh, come take a look.” Allison gestured for Fenn to follow and headed outside.

Allison descended the hill, with Fenn following behind. Fenn moved with an almost ethereal gait, seeming to glide across the ground without even disturbing the dust. It wasn’t long before they reached the spot where Amelia was waiting. Allison shivered as she entered the anti-magic field, and Fenn had a strange look on their face for a brief moment.

“Amelia Goleta,” Fenn greeted, “It is good to see you well.”

“Fenn.” Amelia nodded. She was cradling the sphere of golden rings in her hands, the sword sticking straight up out of it. “I do hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I know quite well, Amelia Goleta.” Fenn nodded. “If you would hold for but a moment. I shall remedy this complication for you.”

Fenn reached out gently, wrapping their fingers around the ring that connected the spiked pommel to the grip. They twisted it slowly, then raised their eyebrows as it clicked . The spike retracted almost all the way into the handle of the sword, and the light-eating edge of the blade returned to normal, if black, metal. At the same time, the oppressive magic-dampening aura faded, making it feel like the air was more alive now.

“I see you really know what you’re doing,” Amelia said, “I was a little worried we might be transporting something nobody could use.”

“The gods guide.” Fenn bowed their head for a moment. “And the intensive research I have done on the relics the Mortendisi stowed away helps as well.”

“So what did your research tell you about these?” Amelia hefted the artifacts.

“A great many things.” Fenn gestured at the chapel on the hill. “I will share over a celebratory meal. Come.”

Fenn started walking, and Allison looked askance at Amelia. Amelia shrugged, then started following the elf. After a moment Allison followed suit.

They entered the chapel and moved to a back room, a small kitchen/dining area with a single table and four chairs. Fenn gestured for them to sit down and made their way to a pantry, extracting from within some fresh fruits, uncooked pasta, and a jar of pasta sauce. They placed the fruit on the table and brought the rest to a nearby stove, where they filled a pot of water to begin preparing an actual meal.

“Do you need a hand?” Amelia asked.

“It would be poor hospitality for me to ask a guest to assist in meal preparation.” Fenn shook their head. “No, this dinner is my thanks to you. I’ve not enough money to properly compensate your efforts, so I do hope this will suffice.”

“Oh, money’s not what we’re in the adventuring business for,” Allison said, taking a seat. Then she paused, reconsidering. “I mean, yeah, a payout is nice. Y’know, bills and all, but it’s not the main reason.”

“I truly appreciate your kindness.” Fenn bowed their head.

“It’s what we do.” Amelia set the artifacts on the center of the table where the ball of golden rings balanced perfectly, then took her own seat. “So, what exactly are these?”

“The blade is known as Goddrinker, and the bands have been named ‘Salvation’ by those who witnessed them in action,” Fenn explained, “Of course, names are given by mortals, and are imperfect. The blade is so named because it was given to a slayer of divine champions, in the days when the gods warred with one another. The bands are named for the fact that their initial wielder defeated the last wielder of Goddrinker. He was quite the blackguard, if the tales are to be believed. You see, he had acquired the weapon from its proper wielder at the time, and proceeded to use the weapon to slay any who dared challenge him. In a time where so few had access to magic, a blade such as this offers a great deal of power. Even, or perhaps especially in this age of magic, its nullifying aura would render one nigh unstoppable.”

“I see.” Amelia nodded. “Where did you find all of this information? The amount of primary sources from before the Age of Magic are few and far between.”

“Hopewell’s chapel is very, very old,” Fenn said with a light smile. They checked the stove, then nodded and added in the pasta. “I have been able to find a great many recountings that do not exist elsewhere. Some are quite flagrantly exaggerations, but others hold secrets that would otherwise be lost to the ages.”

“And that’s how you knew they would be in the catacombs?”

“To say that I knew would be inaccurate. I surmised it from the available tales. The Mortendisi were a people in great conflict over religion, with a sizable portion of their governance believing that the gods should not meddle in mortal affairs. To this end, they locked away a great many divine artifacts, most of which have since been retrieved. Goddrinker and Salvation were unaccounted for, so it stood to reason that they would be in the deepest, unexplored parts of the catacombs.”

“I see. That does make sense.” Amelia nodded. “I still have to ask how you knew about disabling the anti-magic field.”

“That? I was granted a vision in my quest to locate these divine artifacts,” Fenn said solemnly, “As I prayed to the gods to aid me in my quest, they gifted me with prophecy. It is how I disarmed the Goddrinker, and how I know to do this.”

Fenn strode over to the table and placed both hands on the golden rings. They rotated one ring, then gently twisted another, and with a spell of golden stars and warm sunlight the rings all began to move and spin. The rings slowly peeled away from the blade, falling into a set of a dozen or so concentric golden rings, each just smaller than the one outside it. With the containment device opened, the sword fell straight down, its flat tip embedding in the wood and causing the entire sword to wobble back and forth for a few moments.

“Oof,” Allison said on instinct.

“Yes, well, I perhaps should have held the sword as I disengaged the holding field…” Fenn cleared their throat. “I shall have to mend the table later, but as you can see the information the gods have given me is accurate.”

Fenn paused, then stepped back over to the stove. They flicked their wrist and the water began to float out of the pot and towards the sink, and at the same time Fenn turned off the heat. They added the tomato sauce and stirred it up, then retrieved a trio of bowls from a cabinet and served them up. One bowl went in front of Allison, one in front of Amelia, and one in front of an empty chair. Before sitting down, Fenn retrieved a trio of wine glasses and a bottle, putting them on the table.

“I still feel as though I owe you a great deal for these, so…”  Fenn presented the bottle to Amelia. “I do hope this is a fitting gift. I do not believe that the vineyard responsible for this particular brand exists anymore.”

Amelia took the bottle and whistled appreciatively as she read the label. “Seventy years old, and I have heard of this brand. Premium vintage… I’ve seen someone selling one of these on the internet. The auction got into the hundreds of thousands before it was finally sold. If you’d offered this as the initial prize, I don’t think I’d have even asked where we were going!”

“Ah, well, when I acquired it, it was… not nearly so exclusive.” Fenn pulled a face. “Had I known, I would have let you know that it was a part of the reward.”

“Well, as my daughter so succinctly said.” Amelia smiled at Fenn. “A paycheck is nice, but it’s not why we’re adventurers.”

“I am truly thankful for your generosity, Amelia and Allison Goleta.” Fenn bowed their head. “Truly.”

“What good is a bottle of wine that nobody drinks?” Amelia asked rhetorically. She popped the cork and grinned. “Let’s share in this rare treasure, shall we?”

Amelia started to pour the wine, and when she was done she placed the bottle next to the divine artifacts in the center of the table.

Allison picked up the wine glass and took a sip. It was a surprisingly sweet flavor, with far more depth than Allison had been expecting. Most of the alcohol that Allison had been able to get ahold of was underwhelming in comparison. Beer was fine, and cheaper wines didn’t have anything wrong with them, but this was something special.

“So,” Amelia began, taking a sip of her own wine. Her eyes widened in pleasant astonishment at the taste, but she continued uninterrupted. “What do you plan to do with the relics?”

“I will depart shortly on a pilgrimage,” Fenn answered, “These artifacts are quite dangerous in the wrong hands, and I would not want them to find their way to the unworthy. Gods forfend, if the blade were to end up in the hands of a conqueror again…” Fenn shuddered. “No, they will find themselves where the gods will them to be.”

“Who will be taking care of the chapel while you’re gone?”

“I have some friends in town who will come to maintain the chapel until my return,” Fenn said, “Truthfully, I should be looking for a new caretaker. The chapel has been my home for many, many years, and it is time I passed it on to another. Perhaps that is what I shall do once I am returned from my pilgrimage.”

“A toast, then.” Amelia raised her glass. “To finding our successors as we retrieve the past.”

“Indeed! May we all remember our roots, learn from them, and find a path into the future!” Fenn raised their own glass with a smile.

“To awesome dungeons and helping people!” Allison added.

All three wine glasses clinked together, and they began their meal.

Chapter Text

To: Catherine Leone
From: Melody Amaranth
Subject: I need a favor
Hey Catherine,
When you sent me the last email, you said that I could give you a call if I needed help.
I need help.
I have to head out for a while and if I leave my current houseguest unsupervised I’m afraid something bad may happen. Do you think you could come to my house and watch him for a few hours? I would really appreciate it if you can, but I don’t want you to divert any of your plans for the day if you can’t.
Thank you,
Melody

To: Melody Amaranth
From: Catherine Leone
Subject: Re: I need a favor
Already on my way.

O-O-O

“I really can’t thank you enough, Miss Leone,” Melody said earnestly.

“Oh it’s nothing.” Catherine waved her off. Her heavy coat didn’t quite obscure her robes, and of course she had her hat on. “There’s no business in these snowstorms, and I’ve got a couple’ve neighborhood kids watchin’ the shop while I’m out. If they make a sale, I’ll be mighty impressed.”

“Would that be Sherry and Joy?” Melody asked.

“My glorious henchmen!” Pepper shouted, throwing both hands in the air. “Together we will overthrow the government!”

“Maybe when you’re older, dear.” Catherine reached down to pat Pepper on the head. “Did you bring your gameboy?”

“It’s called a Switch, Mom .”

“Right, sorry dear.” Catherine gave Melody a mischievous smile that implied she knew exactly what the game system was called. “Anyways Melody, let’s see the villain in question.”

“I really do need you to promise you won’t tell anyone,” Melody said, “Both of you.”

“I never ratted my old man out when the high church came asking. As far as I’m concerned, you've got nobody in your house right now but yourself, and maybe your cat.” Catherine nodded.

“I don’t snitch!” Pepper crossed her arms.

“Thank you, really.” Melody repeated, “He’s… well, to call him a handful is kind of an understatement. Come on in.”

Melody opened the door and gestured towards the couch. Catherine stepped in after her and then immediately stopped. She looked at Melody, then back at the couch, then back at Melody.

“Is this one of those little VHS fellas from that time the town got ‘reorganized’ dressed in a poncho?” Catherine asked.

“Melody, it would appear a stray wizard has wandered into your house,” Javis complained. He didn’t even look away from his puzzle cube as he said it.

“Ooh, he’s got a mouth on him.” Catherine barely reacted. “So, are you the one responsible for what happened in June?”

“And if I am?” Javis paused, looking Catherine in the eye.

“Not the most effective evil plan. I’d give it a three outta five.” Catherine smirked and walked past the couch, setting her bag down on the counter. She flicked her wrist and conjured a plush armchair, then sat in it. “You got thwarted by a bunch of young adults - which to be fair happened to Dad on about four out of every five evil plans. Half of those kids started that week, so I’m pretty sure y’all were doomed from the start, if history’s anything to go by.”

Javis stared at her dumbfounded as Catherine extracted a pack of cigarettes from her coat pocket. She pulled one out when Melody found the courage to speak up.

“Um, could you, um, not smoke in my house, please?” Melody requested.

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that honey. Habit.” Catherine banished the pack of cigarettes with a gesture. “Let’s just lay out the ground rules now then.”

“Right, well.” Melody had to take a moment to re-center herself. “No smoking, just… make sure Javis doesn’t try to destroy the world. And Javis.” Melody pointed at him. “Don’t cause Catherine any trouble. Same rules as always.”

“Great.” Javis rolled his eye.

“If it helps ya keep those rules in your mind, I ain’t nearly as nice as Melody is.” Catherine reached over and pulled a book out of her bag. As Pepper ambled up beside her chair, she cast another spell to conjure a beanbag chair. “And while she’s a paladin, I’m a witch. That means I know spells for all kinds of nasty things.”

“Yeah, sure, I get it.” Javis waved one hand dismissively.

“Right, well…” Melody took a deep breath, then made her way to the closet to pick up her bag and the astral bell. Once she had the bag on, she raised the bell. “I’m going to go deliver some early Solstice presents, I should be back in a few hours.”

“Take care, Melody,” Catherine said with a nod.

Melody nodded, then rang the bell.

O-O-O

Melody’s first stop was Mumford, for multiple reasons. Mostly because one of the gifts she’d picked out was alive and this should be delivered quickly. She really owed Claire for getting ahold of it and making sure it was still healthy by the time this all rolled around. In fact, most of that morning was spent making sure that it, along with the rest of the gifts, was in the shared hammerspace of their adventuring bags.

The Celestial Wasteland was, in stark contrast to the rest of the Sapphire Islands, warm. Something about the artificial atmosphere of the floating island led to its climate being completely stable no matter what. Warm, and dry, and dusty. It would have been a nice way to get away from the snow, if she didn’t have Javis to worry about. Speaking of Javis, or at least things related to him…

There was a shootout in the middle of town. This was a weekly affair, of course. The guns were loaded with blanks and the shooters were undead. Except for one, who was composed primarily of unearthly ichor and was shooting little globs of purple goo from his fingertip instead of using a gun. Melody waited patiently from the sidelines watching the cowboy-cosplayers engage in their make-believe shootout. It all looked very exciting, with ducking, diving, and carefully aimed shots all around. But it ended as it had every other time Melody had stopped by to watch. All the cowboys were laying about in various ‘dead’ poses, purple ooze spattered on their outfits. The last man standing raised his oversized hand and mimed blowing out a smoking barrel. It was actually impressive how well he conveyed the motion, given his only facial feature was an eyeball.

As soon as the event was called to a close, Melody waved at Clintson.

“Howdy there, Miss Amaranth!” Clintson waved as he floated closer. He had only one foot, after all. If it was indeed a foot inside that boot and not a horrific nerve-like tentacle. “What brings ya up here today?”

“Well, Solstice is coming up soon, and I figured that since it’s your first Solstice and I’ll be busy on the actual day, I should bring you your present ahead of time.” Melody set down her bag, then reached inside.

She had to be careful not to lose her grip. Dropping the tank now would be disastrous . But she did manage to carefully extract an aquarium that was almost as wide as her arm span. She hefted it up, then held it out for Clintson to see.

“We figured, with your interest in poisons, you might find a poisonous creature interesting. So…” Melody gently lifted the tank. “Claire did most of the finding, but we’ve got you a poison dart frog.”

Clintson lowered himself to stare through the glass at the tiny creature within. The frog, a bright blue little creature with black patterning, sat in a tiny pond in the tank.

“He was hatched in captivity, so he doesn’t actually have any poison. Apparently they get their poison from eating venomous insects. But Claire did put the chemical structure of the frog’s poison on a little slip of paper that I can get for you in a moment. We’ve also got a bag with his food.” She held the tank out to him. “You said you were thinking of making ‘non-hostile monsters’ just to have around, so we got you a pet.”

“...” Clintson stared at the frog for a few moments, to the point that Melody was starting to get worried that he would reject her gift. Then he looked at her with a smile in his eye and said, “I love him already. Thank you so much.”

He took the tank in his oversized hand, holding it up to his eye, then lowered his hand to let it hover in the air in front of him. When Melody held out the pet food and the slip of paper, he took them in the other hand.

“The feeding instructions are also on the paper, um. Just... make sure to follow them if you’re not sure what to do.” Melody said, “And the tank is enchanted to regulate the humidity within, so he should be okay even in the desert.”

“Thank ya kindly, Miss Amaranth.” Clintson nodded. “I’m gonna go find somewhere nice and shady to put this feller. I’ll see ya ‘round.”

Clintson hovered away, and Melody watched him go. She was worried for a bit that he might not be happy with the gift, so it was relieving to find out that he enjoyed it so much. Now all she needed to do was deliver this new wrench set to Ipsy, a set of punk hoodies - Allison’s words, and Melody trusted her on this one - for Nef, and a cute if oversized hat for Glyph.

No time to waste. Melody started moving.

O-O-O

She didn’t visit Noel’s sanctuary often enough, honestly. Trips to the Uncanny Valley weren’t really in her schedule. But it was quite a sight coated in white like this. The colors of the magic-saturated woods shone under the blanket of snow, creating patches of blue, pink, and purple.

She wasn’t going to be here long, unfortunately. She just needed to see one person and be on her way. Melody crossed the magical bridge into the sanctuary and looked around with a smile.

Mumford wasn’t exactly big on Solstice spirit - the few people there will all their memories didn’t exactly make a concerted effort to spread the seasonal cheer and it was basically perpetual summer there anyway. The sanctuary was nearly the exact opposite. The snow had been cleared away to make room for glowing decorations in the form of various wintry creatures, from deer to penguins. A towering fir, likely grown by magic, stood in the open, bedecked with lights. It was quite the sight, certainly more impressive than most of what Greenridge had.

But she wasn’t here to ooh and aah at the tree. Melody spotted the person she was here for quickly. He sort of stood out, with his cloak and the giant gear that composed his head. Melody approached at a brisk pace, waving.

“Killer Ray!” She greeted, “How are you doing?”

“I am doing amazingly,” Killer Ray responded, nodding, “Never before has this sanctuary had a guardian as effective as I, and never will it again!”

“That’s great!” Melody smiled. While he talked a big game and tended more towards aggressive dominance than to more passive things like listening or paying attention, he really did just crave validation. Anything to make him feel like he was worth something. So Melody did her best to make him feel like even small victories were worth celebrating, so that hopefully he’d stop feeling like he needed to strive for the big things. If he could channel that competitive energy towards something small, something helpful, then he’d be alright. “I see the sanctuary is all decorated for Solstice.”

“Yes! I have constructed an arcane power source to generate power for this vast array of lights.” Killer Ray crossed his arms triumphantly.

“Oh really?” Melody tilted her head. “That must have been very difficult.”

“It was! The generator didn’t come with an instruction manual and I had to figure it out from context clues,” Killer Ray said smugly, “No mere machine can best me.”

“I sure hope not.” Melody smiled. “Speaking of Solstice, I have something for you.”

Melody reached into her bag and extracted a small tub, no wider across than her hand. She held it out with a smile. “I know it’s a bit early, but there wouldn’t be time to deliver it any later than this. So… here you go!”

Killer Ray took the tub and opened it, his eye going wide as he saw what was within. Still holding the tub in one hand, he raised the other above the open tub and waggled his fingers. Black liquid rose from the tub, floating out to hover in a ball in front of Killer Ray. Rounded spikes jutted out at irregular intervals, shifting along the surface before sinking back into the mass as a whole. Killer Ray looked at Melody with something approaching disbelief in his eye.

“You got me ferrofluid?” He asked.

“It was a joint effort. Jodie had the original idea, but eventually we worked it into something we could actually get ahold of.”

“This is a potent weapon, Melody. Especially in my hands.” Killer Ray nodded slowly. “Yes, thank you for this. The world is not prepared for the force which is about to be unleashed.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy it. I’m sure you can do all sorts of crazy things with your magnet powers.” Melody nodded.

“Yes…” Killer Ray made some complex hand movements, causing the ferrofluid ball to morph into a multitude of shapes. “Yes, I shall do the craziest things with this.”

Killer Ray started drifting away, watching the ferrofluid as he changed its form repeatedly.

“Goodbye, Killer Ray,” Melody said, leaning a bit closer.

He stopped, turning towards her, then seemed to realize he’d forgotten something.

“Goodbye, Melody. Thank you.”

And then he was slowly meandering back across the sanctuary again.

Well, Melody had one stop left. Best get going.

O-O-O

Unlike the sanctuary, Melody did visit the mountains fairly regularly. At least once each month, more if she could find the time. Visits to Zinnia’s were always super nice, and a great way to destress. Even if it was just sitting around and talking, spending time with Zinnia was calming. The only real trouble with getting to Zinnia’s place was the return trip, since Melody had to pass through the Leone bookstore and then walk back home. But even that was usually not much of an inconvenience. It was just annoying in the snow.

Speaking of snow, the mountain was particularly treacherous this time of year. Using the Astral Plane to transport was much safer than hiking, but even then the ledge that Zinnia’s home opened out onto was coated in ice and snow. There was, however, a clear path from the Astral portal to the front door. And also a blank patch directly around Roy.

Roy seemingly hadn’t moved at all in the past six months. Melody knew he couldn’t have just stood there the whole time. He had to have moved at some point. But every time she was up here, he was in the same spot. Melody paused for a moment, then pulled out her phone to take a picture of him from behind, sending it to the group chat with the caption ‘man’. It was a long-standing (three or so months) tradition, and she wasn’t about to break it.

With that done, Melody walked over to Roy.

“Hello Roy,” Melody greeted. After waiting for a response she was sure wasn’t coming, she continued. “I’ve got a little - well, not little at all - Solstice gift for you. I know you like this spot, and it can get really stormy up here, so Jodie, Claire, Allison and I got together to brainstorm and we got you this.”

Melody put down her bag and reached in, grabbing hold of something heavy. She pulled, heaving out a pole much longer than she was tall. She slowly carried it over to Roy and planted it on the stone, where the bottom of the pole magically shaped the rock around it. With the flip of a switch, an enormous umbrella expanded outwards to enshroud Roy in shade.

“The umbrella’s supposed to be able to survive hundreds of pounds of snow or water, and be immune to the effects of wind. If you ever want to close or open it again, the switch is right here.” Melody gestured at the umbrella and picked up her bag again. “Um. Enjoy.”

“...Thank you,” Roy said eventually.

“You’re welcome.” Melody nodded, then made her way to the enormous doors set into the mountainside.

Zinnia had closed them up when the snowstorms started, as despite her general resistance to temperatures she didn’t want snow getting into her house. And even a dragon could get chilly, when it was cold enough. Still, the doors weren’t locked, so Melody could slip inside to escape the chill. It was significantly warmer inside, thankfully. Zinnia’s place was always cozy and warm.

“Zinnia?” Melody called out, “It’s Melody!”

“Melody!” Zinnia’s voice called back from the main living area of her cave. “Come on in. I’m a little preoccupied at the moment!”

Melody walked into the main area to see Zinnia kneeling on the floor with a bunch of gift wrapped boxes around her. She was in the middle of wrapping another, using a wrapping paper with snowflake patterns on it. Zinnia smiled at Melody as she entered.

“Could you hold this for me please? I’m just finishing up with this one and it keeps slipping.”

“Of course!” Melody made her way over and knelt down to hold the paper in place. With her hands freed, Zinnia quickly folded the rest of the wrapping paper in place and taped it up. Now that it was done, Melody put it to the side. “So whose was that?”

“You know I can’t tell you,” Zinnia chided playfully, “You’ll have to wait until the Solstice party!”

“Oh well…” Melody sighed overdramatically, then giggled a bit to herself. She reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of small objects. “I’ve got the lockets.”

“Perfect! Let’s see them!” Zinnia leaned forward excitedly.

Melody opened her hand and held out the lockets. They were heart-shaped, made of shaped gold and strung on silver chains. She opened one, revealing a blank space for a picture on one side and a mirror on the other.

“They’re perfect!” Zinnia smiled widely. “I’ll just have to get the reflection-entanglement enchantment going and we’ll have the perfect present. Thank you, Melody!”

“Well, I’m just the delivery,” Melody demurred, “Beverly was the one who actually got the lockets.”

“But you’re here right now, so thank you!” Zinnia scooted over and gave Melody a side-hug. “Thank you for getting here before Verena got back. This will make her first Solstice back so special.”

“I’m just happy to help,” Melody said.

“And you’re an angel for it.” Zinnia gave her one more squeeze then let go. “Do you want something to eat? I’ve got half of a cheesecake left in the fridge if you’d like some.”

Melody did want some. She really did. But she couldn’t. She had to get home as quickly as she could, and she couldn’t afford to dawdle. Not with Javis in her house. If she said yes, she’d be here for another hour. She couldn’t risk it.

“I’d love to, but I’m on a tight schedule today and I really can’t. I’m sorry,” Melody apologized. She wasn’t lying, but that was definitely not the whole story.

“Well, in that case…” Zinnia stood up and walked over to the fridge, opening it and pulling out the cheesecake in question. She cut a slice, then pulled out a plastic container from one of her cabinets. She transferred the slice to a container and then brought it over to Melody. “For the road.”

“Thank you, Zinnia.” Melody tucked the container in her bag.

“Oh it’s nothing!” Zinnia smiled warmly. “Don’t let me keep you. I’m sure you have to get to your friends to finish your gift-giving rounds.”

“...something like that.” Melody nodded. “I’ll see you at the Solstice party, Zinnia.”

“I’ll see you there! Stay warm!”

“I’ll certainly try.” Melody smiled at Zinnia one last time before making her way back out of the cave.

Once she was outside, Melody pulled out her phone and opened the group chat.

There were a few new messages after her picture of Roy. The obligatory echoing messages of ‘man’ from both Jodie and Claire. Then Claire sent a question-mark filled message asking how to reliably locate Bigby, followed by Jodie sending a picture of the balloon-headed son of Javis flying over a schoolyard.

Melody smiled softly at the messages, and quickly added her own to the chat.

Melody: finished delivering. you guys have Greenridge done?

There were a few moments before Jodie responded.

Jodie: I’m done on my end. I think Claire’s still having trouble tracking down Bigby.

Claire: Fcuc
Claire: Fucin
Claire: Fcuking ashole keeps runnning away i stg im gonna pop his stupid head
Claire: Hes laughing at me
Claire: Dose he think this is a game???? See how he likes fireball

Jodie: Don’t fireball him near the school

Claire: missed
Claire: ok hes coming down

There was no activity on the group chat for a little while, then Claire sent another message.

Claire: Ok. So. Gave him the flying spinner thingy. Dude loves it. Heading back to Piggledy’s.

Jodie: Me and Faith are heading to Piggledy’s

Melody stared at the messages with a strange sense of anguish in her chest. She wanted to join her friends, to chat and laugh and tell them how the delivery went. Or just to shoot the breeze and talk about nothing important. But she couldn’t. She had to get back home so that Catherine didn’t have to deal with Javis any longer than necessary.

Melody: sorry guys, i can’t be there. i left the fireplace burning and need to be home quickly so it doesn’t burn down. :(

Claire: Aw that sucks

Jodie: Go make sure your house doesn’t burn down. We’ll send you some coffee.

Claire: Yeah don’t let your house burn down.

Melody: thanks for understanding, i’m really sorry :(

Well, that put a damper on her mood. She hated having to do this, having to miss things with her friends. She wasn’t quite sure yet if that translated fully to hating Javis for keeping her from doing things with her friends, but she already didn’t like him. At least he was able to walk now, hopefully he’d be healthy enough to leave soon.

Whatever. It wasn’t important right now. She’d have time to process how she felt once she got home.

First she’d have to get through the Leone bookstore, though. She’d probably have to bribe Joy and Sherry not to say anything. That wouldn’t be too hard though. She was pretty sure there were some of those animal-shaped wristbands in the adventuring bag that nobody would miss.

Chapter Text

Javis hated.

Not at anything in particular, just hate. In general. It would take effort to focus that hate into a form he could use, and he was just… exhausted. Still. He shouldn’t have tried dumping all of his mana into a crappy wand. Shouldn’t have tipped his hand so early. It was obvious, in hindsight, that he wouldn’t be able to kill Melody. Or even corrupt her, for that matter. She’d always been more durable than most of her little friends, and shockingly resistant to the corrupting powers of his magic. Moreso than the striped one, on the latter. He’d struck too early, with the wrong weapon. And as a cost now he was still drained of magic.

He swapped some sides on his puzzle cube. The clicking helped him think. Click, click.

And then the attempt at getting her killed by the unbear. That one had been worse . Worse than corrupting himself and blasting his entire internal mana reservoir into his body, somehow. Not the first time he’d accidentally electrocuted himself with enough power to keep a city lit for months, but it was probably the most embarrassing. If only because someone had seen him do it this time. But he’d never expected Melody to follow through on her threats. Yes she’d let him back in, but that was because she had the memory of a… small fish of some kind, he couldn’t remember the right one.

Why had he unlocked the door? He couldn’t figure it out. Was he mentally ill? That was the only possible explanation. He’d had her in a vulnerable position and had decided to let her go instead of following through. Perhaps he’d contracted the brain disease these hairies seemed to have, despite his lack of a biological brain or any of the other things needed to get sick.

He fiddled with the cube. Click, click.

No, no, he’d figured it out. Obviously it wasn’t him having a mental breakdown. He’d clearly thought it through. He was too smart to let himself make a critical error like that. He’d let her back in because he’d realized that she could best the unbear and then come back inside to punish him. Yes. That was it.

Wait no, that would mean he’d initially miscalculated. He didn’t do that. Certainly not multiple times with the same person. No. He wouldn’t do that. He was too smart for that. He especially wouldn’t underestimate the same person four times . He couldn’t be that dumb. There was no way. He’d spent too many years preparing, too many years practicing, for that to happen. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. He deserved better. He was owed better. He was owed the world. And he would have had it if it weren’t for these miserable hairies.

If it weren’t for Melody Amaranth.

His absentminded fiddling with the puzzle cube accelerated.

He needed to get some kind of vengeance. It was only fair. She’d ruined his plans. She’d ruined his life . And for what? Some self-righteous crusade in the name of such fleeting things as love and peace . Anyone could see how foolish such pursuits were. Especially in the face of eternity. No, the important things were revenge. Self-gratification. Proving a point. Nothing would last anyways. Might as well have fun with it.

Hmm… magical means were clearly out of the question, now. The wands of this world were pitiful things. Nothing like his staff, clearly. He’d need something much higher quality to cast anything meaningful. It was a shame he couldn’t do magic without it. A problem these hairies clearly didn’t have. Their bodies were just saturated with mana, meaning they didn’t need a tool to draw it out. Javis wasn’t so fortunate. His body was constructed differently, concentrating all his mana in one point. Perhaps if he could stealthily alter his internal mana supply… but that would require a casting implement.

“Whatever you’re plotting, I’d advise against it.”

Javis scowled and looked over the back of the couch at the hairy Melody had called to babysit him. Like he was a child. Of course he was definitely going to plot while she wasn’t around, but he’d rather do so in silence , without someone watching him or a game system beeping.

“I’m not plotting anything,” Javis lied.

“I know that face, ain’t hard to identify it.” The hairy turned a page in her book. “Even if you’ve only got one eye. You’re plotting revenge.”

“And what if I am?” Javis rolled his eye. “Are you going to police my thoughts?”

“Nah, but I’ll warn you that if you keep hurting the kids, the adults will be coming out to enforce the rules.” She flipped another page, not even seeming to pay attention to him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Javis asked incredulously.

“It means.” The hairy looked up from her book. “That there’re repercussions for your actions. I don’t know what you’re planning, but Melody’s a kind soul. She might be willing to forgive whatever you’re planning, but even the kindest souls snap. And if she don’t recover, then you’ve gotta contend with me . I ain’t a kind soul. I was grown in a cauldron, from blood and guts and hate and spite. And while I’d rather live a normal life, raising my daughter right and being nice, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to be mean .”

She glared at him, dark flames licking about the insides of her eyes. For a few brief moments, Javis felt as though he were contending with something just as unearthly as he was.

And then she licked a finger and turned a page in her book, returning to reading.

“My old man’s worse. He never pretended to be nice in the first place,” She continued as if nothing happened, “And he’s significantly better at the nastier magics. The ones that’ll burn your soul and leave your body in agony.”

“I’m gonna learn to do that one day,” The smaller hairy declared from its position almost on the floor.

“That you are sweetie, just remember what I told you about dark magic.”

“Don’t use them on people who don’t deserve it?”

“Very good.”

Javis stared at the two hairies, then slowly sank down into the couch.

They were all insane. Not just the four who had foiled him. Or Paula, who had been mad enough to give up her own planet for petty revenge - he did have to give her points for that one, he’d’ve done the same - and wanted to wipe out magic, for some reason? No, all the hairies were insane. All of them. Every single one. If this wasn’t proof he didn’t know what was.

Well, at least he could mess with them. Hopefully. He wasn’t totally ignorant of what these hairies were. They were… felines. Maybe. Cattes? Cat? Was that what they were called? Might as well give it a shot.

“Did you know Melody keeps one of your lesser cousins as a slave?” He asked suddenly.

“Shadow’s a cat, not a beast folk. Different species, even if there’s a superficial resemblance.” He heard a page turn. “Did you know I once pulled all the tape out of a VHS? I was four.”

Javis blinked, recoiling. “What the fuck.”

“Watch your language around my daughter.” She clicked her tongue. “No swearing.”

“Mom, I already know all the swear words,” The smaller one complained.

“And if I hear you using them, I’m confiscating your comic books.”

“Moooom!”

“Love you honey.”

Yeah. So. They were absolutely out of their minds. His estimates were completely off the mark. They were way crazier than expected.

“You hungry Jarvis? It’s about lunch time,” the larger hairy said

“Javis,” Javis corrected immediately, “It’s Javis. No R.”

“Javis.” She nodded. “Are you hungry?

“I don’t want your charity,” Javis sneered.

“Suit yourself.” She shrugged, then reached into her bag and pulled out a couple of bags, presumably with some kind of food in them. She handed one to the smaller hairy, then set the other on the counter. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

“I don’t need anything from you, hairy creature.” Javis crossed his arms.

“It’s Catherine, not ‘hairy creature’.” Catherine gestured at the smaller one. “And this is Pepper.”

“Fine, whatever.” Javis slumped down on the couch to try and make a barrier between him and them. He really didn’t want to engage anymore. These hairies weren’t fun. Not anymore. Now they were just… concerning.

Except…

Except he was bored . The puzzle cube wasn’t doing it anymore. He’d already unlocked its secrets and now he had nothing left to do with it. Except absent-minded tinkering, which was admittedly quite satisfying. But it wasn’t enough for his brain. The puzzle cube’s clicking was a background thing, it helped keep his hands busy while he was preoccupied with something else. He needed mental stimulus, or he was quite sure he’d devolve into the same insanity as the hairies.

“What are you reading?” Javis asked, sighing.

“A treatise on the usage and application of metamagic, by Infinity,” The hairy - Catherine, he’d have to try and hold on to that name for at least a little while - said, “Just some light reading.”

“A treatise on - metamagic is far from light reading,” Javis replied in confusion. Metamagic was quite possibly the furthest thing from light reading. Using magic in general took a great deal of effort and understanding, so using magic on magic was incredibly difficult.

“It’s light reading if you grew up on spellbooks.” Catherine turned a page.

“Are all of you crazy?” Javis asked before he could stop himself. Well, he’d already stepped in it, might as well go all-in. “Are all of you creatures absolutely deranged? ”

“Only the ones in Greenridge, and most of the folks in Greenridge are more normal than my family.” Catherine shrugged nonchalantly. “My father used to be an evil mastermind, but he’s retired now.”

There were a few weird things in that sentence. From ‘used to be evil’ to just the inclusion of ‘evil’ in the first place. What kind of person willingly described themselves as evil? An absolute lunatic, obviously. And then they just… retire from being evil? Was that a thing on this backwater planet? What was wrong with these creatures?

“Retired?” Javis asked, unable to formulate any more words.

“Oh yes. He made a nice salary doing professional villainy and was able to retire at the ripe old age of seventy. ‘Course, he’d have kept going if he didn’t have a family to worry about, and if he hadn’t been taken down that last time,” Catherine explained, “He was quite good at it, even if he never succeeded in taking over the world.”

Seventy? Was seventy years supposed to be old? Surely that was supposed to be a joke, right? Whatever. Not his problem. He was more curious about the last part.

“Surely he wasn’t that good if he kept failing,” Javis scoffed.

“Villainy ain’t about winning . It’s about getting back up and going again when you fail.” Catherine shook her head. “No good villain’s ever made a living by succeeding. You won’t find work if you keep thrashing heroes. Either that, or you’ll make yourself such a challenge that you’ll take work from other villains, and that’s more dangerous than just about anything else.”

“I feel as though you’re referring to something entirely different than what I was expecting,” Javis muttered, “I was under the distinct impression that evil villains were destructive.”

“I’m sure every villain under the sun would like to buck off the laws and just do what they want, but ya gotta make a living somehow.” Catherine gestured with one hand. “So, villains for hire get big bucks from adventuring groups. Adventurers have inconsistent work, but even when they’ve got nothing to do they have to keep training. So they hire a villain to make them a dungeon, pose a challenge, and maybe enchant an item or two.”

“There are people who get rewarded for building dungeons full of monsters,” Javis said incredulously.

“Get good enough and you can start making permanent dungeons. Then people’ll line up to get into your dungeon and loot it. Sure, you make a loss when someone wins, but do it well enough and the cash flows in,” Catherine said.

“I’m going to start a revolutionary series of mini-dungeons !” The smaller hairy - Pepper? They were called Pepper, right? - declared, “All the excitement of a dungeon, all the puzzles and loot, all in a single room!”

“It’s going to be a great idea, dear.”

Pepper sat back with a smug smile.

“None of this sounds particularly ‘evil’ or villainous.” Javis rolled his eye. “It sounds like a weird niche hobby that happens to be profitable.”

“Every villain’s got side projects. World domination plans, giant superweapons, horrific monsters - all pretty standard amongst villains. But smart villains keep their personal projects and their jobs separate. Otherwise…” Catherine’s attention went… elsewhere. Unfocused. Then she looked at Javis with a stern glare. “When people get hurt stopping a villainous plot, it’s expected. Understandable.  But if you hurt someone when you’re doing a job, when you’re not in the middle of a plot… well. That’s when you get professionals on your case. Worse, if you lie about how you’re using your funds, you get the taxmen after you.”

“I’m horrified. The tax men,” Javis deadpanned, “This isn’t convincing me of anything. What’s the point of ‘villainy’ if it’s just a job?”

“The job’s only a common way of making a living.” Catherine shrugged. “Not every villain does dungeon-building for profit. My old man did, and he made a name for himself for fair dungeoncraft. But he didn’t get into villainy for that reason.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“Well, the way he tells it…” Catherine looked lost in thought for a bit before continuing. “When Dad was a teenager, he wanted to join an adventuring group, but his magical ability was… lacking. So after doing a little research, he found out about an old treasure vault with artifacts of power inside. That was a lie - there was one artifact in there, a book with spells of dark magic inside. The adventuring group he’d wanted to join rejected him again, and in a fit of misguided rage he started summoning demons to try and prove himself. Naturally that wasn’t well-received. After getting his butt kicked, some villains reached out and introduced him to their circle. He was good at demonology, y’see, and while most sorts are naturally opposed to that sort of thing, villains never pass up a tool if it’s useful.

“Anyway, my Dad said yes. Because while he had always wanted to engage in the excitement of being an adventurer, it turned out he didn’t really care which side he wound up on. Getting trounced by a group of adventurers had been the highlight of his life at that point. And after getting blacklisted for summoning demons, villainy was the way to do it.” Catherine shrugged. “The rest is history.”

“That’s utterly dull. As in completely boring. Not a single thing you just said was interesting.” Javis scoffed, shaking his head. “What absolute nonsense. ‘Oh, he liked losing ’, save me your nonsense.”

“Alright then, what do you get out of being evil?” Catherine asked, raising one eyebrow.

“I’m not evil . I’m just better than you. Learn the difference.”

“Let’s count your crimes, then.” Catherine put aside her book on metamagic and pulled a notepad and pencil from her bag. “Starting with more recent things and working backwards, you’ve bullied poor Melody. She looked more tired this morning than I think I’ve ever seen her, and I’ve known her since she was a young’un.”

“That was just-,”

“You tried to destroy the world, based on context clues. Pretty classic villainy there.”

“Now you listen here-,”

“And, what I can only assume was your first act of villainy, at least here on the Sapphire Isles, terrorizing a small town that did nothing to you.” Catherine finished her list by tapping the notepad with her pencil. “Did I miss anything?”

“You understand NOTHING !” Javis snarled, hopping up to stand on the couch. He glared down at Catherine. “You stupid creatures do things and then act like nothing’s happened, like you haven’t wronged others! You and yours destroyed Verena’s school, her pride and joy, and you have the gall to tell me that I’m the one who’s terrorizing you?! No, I’m just enacting proper vengeance, righting a thousand years of wrong . And I will right this wrong, and I don’t care who tells me not to!”

Catherine was silent for a moment, a bemused expression on her face. After a little bit she said, “A thousand years, huh?”

“A thousand years,” Javis spat.

“Do you know how long the mortals of Reverie live, Mister Javis?” Catherine asked calmly.

“I fail to see how that’s relevant.”

“Most of the mortal races live, on average, eighty years,” Catherine explained softly, “Beast folk have a lifespan around eighty years. Orcs and goblins a bit less. Elves a fair bit more. I’d wager not a single person on the Sapphire Isles was alive a thousand years ago. That part of history exists exclusively in mythology and long-forgotten ruins.”

Javis went to reply, only to stop. Less than a century? That’s… that’s how long they lived? He’d encountered short-lived species before, in his conquest of the universe. But Verena was from Reverie, and she was immortal. And when he’d checked, that lizard Verena had asked after was alive too. Surely he hadn’t miscalculated. Surely this was… no. No that… made sense. That was why they sought after things that couldn’t last. Things like love and happiness and family. No wonder they didn’t know how things really worked. They didn’t live long enough to learn it. And their stupid, naive optimism had persuaded Verena to that cause as well.

“I’ll ask you again, Mister Javis,” Catherine said softly, “What do you get out of life?”

Did he still care about Verena’s vengeance? Did he ever? He wasn’t sure anymore. He knew that he found satisfaction in proving his superiority, in claiming what fate owed him. He found pride in making things nobody else could, in forging spaces that followed laws incomprehensible to anyone but himself. But really he did what he did to survive. To find the right person to protect him. Because he wasn’t going to let them lock him away again. He couldn’t let that happen. He deserved better. He was owed better. So he did it because he was smart, and…

And if he was being honest, he didn’t latch on to Verena because he was smart. He did it because he was scared.

And Javis hated it.

He hated feeling scared. Hated feeling like the universe had cheated him so. So he postured, and made himself feel strong, and it never lasted for more than a few fleeting moments before he was always reminded just how weak he really was…

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t dare speak. Because if he did he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep himself from telling the truth.

“Just think about it.” Catherine picked up her book again. “And when you’re done, maybe you’ll understand my old man’s perspective a bit better.”

Javis stared at her, then turned around and sat down on the couch under him. He had a lot to think about. A lot to consider. The hairies - beast folk, they only lived for less than a century. Such a short period of time… how did they get anything done? How did anything they make last? Surely it didn’t, given how they’d forgotten Verena in a thousand years. This changed almost everything he knew about these creatures. Reframed it into a more understandable lens.

He needed to apologize to Melody.

Well, he wasn’t going to be hasty. He needed to think about apologizing to Melody. No need to jump the gun. He might still find a reason not to.

Chapter Text

The flying car hovered over the lawn, its propulsion systems heating the snow enough to melt it into slush, then to vanish entirely. The vehicle touched down, the engines powering down for a moment as the melted snow sizzled away to nothing.

Only once they were safely off did Melody approach, smiling widely. She waved to Amelia and Allison, and before she could open her mouth to say anything Allison was already unbuckled and climbing over the car, jumping from the hood to land in front of Melody. Allison took a deep breath to steady herself and said, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Melody replied.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Then Allison’s arms were around her, and Melody happily returned the gesture. The warmth of her girlfriend made her so immeasurably happy, like all the stress of the past week had never existed. She practically melted into Allison’s arms, resting her head on Allison’s shoulder. It was almost upsetting to have to separate.

Allison held her at arm’s length, smiling like a lunatic. Then she frowned.

“Are you okay, Mel? You look tired,” Allison said, concern clear on her face.

“I’ll… explain in a bit.” Melody’s smiled turned sad for a moment, then she looked past Allison. “Hi Miss Goleta!”

“Hi Melody!” Amelia greeted in return. She was standing just outside the flying car, the driver’s side door still open.

“So how’d your trip go?” Melody asked, looking between them.

“I must admit, the presence of two divine artifacts in the catacombs was a surprise,” Amelia said, “I’m sure Allison can give you the full explanation.”

“It was crazy . There was this sword and these golden rings, and I broke a wall down, and there were those mostly an egg things in there, and there were so many things I wish I took pictures of,” Allison rambled, “I’ll tell you all about it once we get inside.”

“I’ll get going, see you girls around.” Amelia waved, stepping back into the car. “Take care!”

Melody and Allison waved as Amelia’s car started, then lifted off. They waited until she was well out of sight before Melody sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Allison asked.

“I, uh, made a bad decision for a good reason,” Melody said tentatively.

“Are you okay?” Allison’s brow knitted.

“I’m fine, physically, I just…” Melody shook her head. “It’s… complicated. I found Javis.”

Allison drew in a sharp breath, and her whole body tensed. “Where? Do you need backup?”

“He was… hurt. And I…” Melody grimaced. “I couldn’t just leave him there…”

“...You didn’t.” Allison’s jaw dropped.

“I… might have.” Melody cringed, shrinking in on herself.

“Where is he now?” Allison asked.

Melody tilted her head towards the front door of her house.

Allison got a strange expression on her face, straightening. With her hands balled into fists, she started walking purposefully towards the door. She didn’t have her sword out, but the way she was moving it was clear she didn’t really need it to lay down some pain. Melody jogged to catch up, worried that Allison was about to do something drastic. The front door opened, and both Melody and Allison looked inside.

Javis was stood in the back corner, Melody’s adventuring bag at his feet. He had a golden bell in one hand, and he was looking at it with something approaching regret. With his other hand he held the multi-colored puzzle cube. He looked over at the two of them as they entered, his expression not changing.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Allison asked, brow furrowing just a little bit.

Javis almost seemed to ignore her, looking back at the bell for a moment before he looked directly at Melody.

“For what it’s worth, I…” He started, only to trail off. When he spoke again, it was with an inflection she’d never heard from him. “I’ll leave the bell somewhere you’ll find it.”

The bell dinged, and Javis was gone.

O-O-O

As it turned out, Javis left the bell in the upstairs room of the Leone bookstore. Catherine hadn’t seen him pass through, so he must have ducked in to leave the bell and then entered the Astral Plane again.

Allison had suggested going after him, but by that point it was already too late. Wherever Javis was, they weren’t going to find him.

Melody wasn’t sure if that was worrying, or relieving.

Chapter Text

The party was going amazingly.

It was a fairly small-scale affair, just the guild, Faith, Beverly, Zinnia and Verena. They had snacks, desserts, a gift exchange, festive music, and decorations. It was one of the best times Melody had had in years.

And she couldn’t enjoy it because she was unable to get rid of the thought that Javis was still out there. Unaccounted for.

“Hey.”

Melody looked up to see Allison standing over her, holding a plate of sweets and a glass of eggnog.

“Hi,” Melody replied.

“Is this seat taken?” Allison gestured at the spot next to Melody.

“Actually, I think it’s reserved for my girlfriend.” Melody felt a small smile play at the edges of her mouth.

Allison looked around the mostly empty restaurant, then paused, putting on a shocked expression. “Would that happen to be me?!”

“You know, it just might be.”

Allison sat down, grinning, and put the plate of sweets in front of Melody. It was piled high with cookies, fudge, chocolates, and candy. All things Melody would normally be more than happy to partake in. But right now, the uneasiness in her stomach made her feel too nauseous to even try.

“Are you okay?” Allison asked softly.

Melody shook her head.

“Thinking about Javis?”

Melody nodded.

“Yeah, I’m worried about him too.” Allison sighed, leaning over to rest on Melody’s shoulder. “Though I get the feeling you’re worried about more than just the chance he’ll come back.”

“I don’t know,” Melody admitted, “I just… don’t know.”

They sat there for a bit, sharing each other’s warmth in silence. Verena laughed on the other side of the room, piercing the conversation for a moment before the background chatter returned. Eventually, two more figures approached.

“Hey,” Jodie said.

“‘Sup?” Claire greeted, sliding into the seat and resting her elbows on the tabletop and her chin in her hands.

“Hi guys,” Melody said back.

“You two look stressed,” Jodie commented, sitting next to Claire, “Is something wrong?”

“Just… worried about Javis.”

The mood in the immediate area went down a few notches.

“I still think you should have let us know you found him,” Claire muttered. Then she sighed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to criticize.”

“You’re right.” Melody shook her head. “I should have let you two know immediately. I just… didn’t think I should bother you.”

“Telling us that the guy who tried to destroy the planet is still on the Sapphire Isles is the exact opposite of bothering us,” Claire protested.

Jodie gave Claire a brief look, wearing her ‘maybe back off a bit’ face, then looked at Melody. “You know you can ask for anything and we won’t mind.”

“I know! I just… didn’t think of that until afterwards.” Melody looked away, her ears drooping. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. We all do weird things under stress,” Claire said, “I just wish you didn’t have to deal with it on your own. He can’t have been pleasant to have in your house.”

“He wasn’t…” Melody stopped, then sighed. “Yeah. It was pretty bad.”

“And now he’s out there again.” Allison groaned in frustration. “I’m not saying you should have left him in the snow - because you shouldn’t have - but it would have been nice to not have that looming over us.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t… I don’t know if he’s going to cause trouble,” Melody said with another sigh.

“Why wouldn’t he? It’s like his favorite thing to do,” Claire asked.

“Because the last thing he did before leaving was… well, he sure looked like he was about to apologize. And he didn’t steal the bell. He could have just taken it with him to make sure he’d always have an escape route and he just… didn’t.” Melody took a deep breath. “So… I don’t know… maybe he’s rethinking his attitude.”

“...We can only hope,” Jodie said.

O-O-O

Javis could not understand why he hadn’t left the Sapphire Islands.

It would have been the smart thing to do. Use the Astral Plane to get as far away from this accursed place as possible. Never see any of these hairies again, find somewhere to start anew? Brilliant idea. He could even make sure he wound up somewhere warmer, with less wet . Ice and water were his greatest foes, and he could have just gone somewhere there was neither.

But he’d stayed. He’d found an exit a suitable distance from Greenridge and stayed in the archipelago. Was he stupid? Had he finally caught some kind of memetic disease from the hairies? Nonsensical, yes, but he couldn’t fully rule it out.

Was he getting sentimental? The possibility always existed, but he doubted it. He’d had no problem leaving behind the worlds he’d worked on before. No issue destroying places he’d lived for centuries. No, he wasn’t sentimental.

Perhaps… perhaps it was because of that sense of tightness in his core? It couldn’t be explained by any physical malady - he was healthy, he was stocked up on mana, and he wasn’t hurt in any way. What in the world was that sensation? And why did it feel so awful?

He stared out over the islands from his little hideaway. It wasn’t much, just a rocky outcropping with a small cave under it, but it kept the snow off of him and it had enough space for him to keep anything he felt like holding onto. There was even an old treasure chest in the back corner - empty, but he knew well the usefulness of a good treasure chest. Admittedly, picking a spot on the side of a mountain was probably not the wisest thing he’d done, but he’d made worse decisions.

Wait, no, he’d figured it out. He was still here because his staff was here. Somewhere. He didn’t know exactly where his staff was, but it had to be somewhere on these islands. Verena would probably have stashed it with one of the mortals she trusted. Yes, that was why he was here. That had to be the cause for this weird feeling.

Well, Javis was going to get his staff back. And he wasn’t going to let anyone stop him. He just needed to find the right way to do it. Ideally he’d get back into Verena’s good graces as well, but that didn’t seem like a possibility.

Maybe he could ingratiate himself to the hairies? That seemed possible , if Melody and - whatshername? - Catherine were any indication. Evil could be forgiven, apparently. Yes. That seemed like a good plan. He could pretend he was having regrets and get them to trust him. Then, when the moment was right, he could take his staff and get out of there.

He fiddled with the puzzle cube, listening to the satisfying click-click as the sides rotated.

Yes, that was a good plan. He just needed to time it right...

O-O-O

It was raining in Brightport.

Cold, bitter, biting rain that was just barely still water and not sleet. The kind of rain that soaked through clothing in moments, rendering flesh frigid and shivering. It was appropriate for the mood, though a vast inconvenience nonetheless. One needed a good cloak in weather like this, the kind that shed water with ease and prevented both penetration and pooling.

They were quite glad that they had such a cloak.

The hooded figure was looking for something in particular. Following rumors and hearsay to find it. Rumors and hearsay that often proved very, very wrong. But they were quite good at finding things once long hidden, and this was simplicity in comparison.

They stopped at a doorway in the warehouse district. The abandoned part of the warehouse district. There was a mark on the door that indicated this was exactly what they were looking for: a fanged skull, biting down upon a pentacle. The symbol of the Mage Eaters, a group of malcontents who’d terrorized the magic-focused communities in Brightport for the past four months.

They opened the door.

On the other side was a wide open space, littered with people of various species. They were talking amongst themselves, tinkering with bits of machinery, or sparring with a wide variety of melee weapons. There was a spider beast folk in one corner, tinkering with firearms. A lion with full knight’s armor, sharpening a longsword. A trio of lean goblins, collaborating on what looked to be some kind of oversized mechanical person. But the cloaked stranger was not looking for them. They were looking at the one on the other side of the room, reclining sideways on a throne made of scrap metal and car parts.

That person sat up straight as the cloaked stranger entered, a scowl forming on her face. The polar bear woman picked up the ax sitting next to her throne and pointed it at the stranger.

“Stop right there,” The polar bear shouted, causing all action in the room to come to a sudden halt. “State your purpose here!”

“I’ve come seeking warriors,” The stranger replied. They let their voice carry without raising it. “And I am aware that you served under Verena for a brief time.”

The polar bear stiffened, her scowl deepening. “And where did you hear that?”

“The gods have said many things to me. They have told me that you are discontent with the way life has treated you. That you harbor a grudge against Verena for failing you. They have told me that you despise mages, that you view them as cheaters who have worked their way to success through circuitous means,” The stranger said. Perhaps there was some deception in their telling - the gods had not said all those things in so many words. But they had provided the means to find such things out. “Tell me, Paula Cassidy. What do you hope to achieve with your group here?”

“We’re going to make things right,” Paula snarled, “We’re going to make it so true talent makes its way to the top, taking down those who cheat their way there with magic. The strong deserve to have their way.”

“The strong?” The stranger tilted their head under their hood. “And how would you define strength, Paula Cassidy?”

“Strength is strength. It’s not complicated.”

“Is it?” The stranger looked around the room for a moment, then began striding forwards. “Is strength merely physical might? Or perhaps is it the ability to exert one’s will upon the world? Is strength derived from influence, or the source of it? Does strength give one the right to command others?”

“Of course it does!” Paula growled, stepping forwards. “Everyone is here because I was strong enough to bring them together, to lead them!”

“I see.” The stranger stopped walking. “And what would you do if someone stronger than you were to step forwards, so that they might command your followers?”

“No such thing.” Paula snorted, taking her ax in both hands. She was big and broad and confident, but the stranger could see that she was beginning to get worried. “I dare anyone who thinks they’re stronger than me to step forward now! Try me!”

“How convenient.” The stranger let out a musical laugh. “Because that happens to be why I am here.”

Paula’s expression froze. As if she had just realized she had been played. Truly the stranger had no intention of hiding their intentions, but if one could not see the obvious, then that was on their own head.

“You’ll regret that choice,” Paula spat, dropping into a battle stance.

“I will not.” The stranger snapped their arms out to the sides, disc-shaped golden blades appearing in their hands from within their cloak. “But out of respect for your principles, I shall refrain from the use of sorcery.”

Paula didn’t respond with words, but with a furious roar. She rushed forwards, swinging her ax overhead with immense might. The stranger simply slid out of the way, allowing the blade of the ax to collide with concrete. Paula recovered admirably quickly, sweeping the ax at floor level to strike at the stranger’s legs. The stranger stepped over it, moving swiftly to strike Paula in the face with a kick.

As the polar bear recoiled, the stranger stood at a distance. They waited until Paula was back on her feet before blitzing forward, striking with knees and elbows to keep her off-balance. When Paula swung her ax again, the stranger lashed out with one of their chakrams to hook it under the blade. Then they slammed their other chakram into the back of the handle, snapping the ax just under the blade. The heavy metal ax head clattered across the concrete, skidding into some corner.

With her weapon destroyed, Paula flew into a rage. She punched, kicked, and clawed at the stranger, failing to make contact with any attack. The stranger simply slipped past every strike. They were too close for Paula to properly line up a blow.

With a well-placed kick and a subsequent stomp, Paula was forced to her knees.

The stranger stood over Paula, head cocked to one side. “You have talent, that much is clear. But you lack discipline. You lack finesse. You are not as strong as you would have others think.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Paula panted, breathing heavily.

“I am not saying that you have not accomplished anything,” The stranger continued as if Paula had said nothing, “but you lack guidance. It is obvious to those who know how to look.”

The stranger looked around at the warehouse, taking note of the way the other members of the gang were beginning to ready weapons. The stranger was confident they could win such a fight, even against overwhelming odds, but they had not come here to fight everyone. No, they were here to recruit.

“Stand tall, Paula Cassidy. You can learn discipline and finesse with time.” The stranger stepped back, flicking their wrists to hide the chakrams yet again. “I am not here to take your accomplishments from you.”

“Then what’s the big idea?” Paula climbed to her feet, scowling down at the hooded stranger. “You come in here, challenge me for my leadership, and then say that you didn’t even intend to depose me?”

“Correct.” The stranger laughed lightly. “As I said, I came here for warriors, to serve a cause that I’m sure you will all take great delight in. I can hardly do that if I have made enemies of you all. No, I am not here to change the hierarchy of the Mage Eaters. Merely to add another layer on top.”

“...Why would I want to work for someone who’s broken my favorite weapon?” The question was less hostile than before. It seemed the polar bear was receptive to the idea, at least in theory. Good.

“My apologies, I merely wished to prove that my might was no bluff.” The stranger bowed. They reached out with one hand, tugging at space to call to hand the item they had prepared for this exact purpose. It appeared in their hand as if from nowhere, and they presented the weapon to Paula without rising from their deferential position. “I do hope this is a suitable replacement.”

The sword was enormous, far larger than most weapons of its ilk. The end was flat, but sharp nonetheless, and the entire single-edged blade was forged of black metal. There was no crossguard, or indeed any kind of guard for the wielder’s hands. The grip was lined with tiny holes, and the pommel of the immense weapon was a spike, retracted almost all the way into the long handle.

Paula took the sword by the hilt, her hand fitting around it better than the stranger had expected. She held it in one hand at first, testing the heft, then tried a few experimental swings with both hands. For once, Paula’s displeased expression lightened, replaced by an appreciative look. She looked down at the stranger.

“Alright then,” Paula said eventually, “I think we could work together on this.”

The tenseness in the warehouse lightened immediately, and the spectators returned to whatever they were doing before. The stranger smiled to themself, hidden in the shadows of their cloak

“I am pleased that we can come to an accord.” The stranger straightened. “We can begin preparations for the plan on the morrow.”

“About that. What is your plan, exactly?” Paula asked, “And who are you?”

And she was hooked. Perfect. All going according to plan. The cloaked stranger bowed again.

“My name is Infinity, and I want to kill the witch Verena.”