Chapter Text
"I hope you have a nice Christmas, Wilhelm."
I keep repeating the sentence in my mind. It was the last thing he said to me, right after I told him I love him. It has been a depressing Christmas break to say the least. Staying with my parents, who forced me to stay closeted. The grief of Erik not being here making the air feel heavy. And Simme. It is all simply too much.
Christmas dinner with my parents was… depressing. I refused to talk to my mom- still do. My parents tried to keep up small talk but in the end it was silent during most of the dinner. I just sat there silently trying to finish my plate. I used to love Christmas food, but now it just reminded me of Erik. He used to make Christmas bearable. We used to joke at the dinner table and after dinner we would sit in front of a fireplace and talk for hours. Christmas was when we were truly together and I loved it. Now he's gone and my mom betrayed me and I am entirely alone.
After that miserable Christmas dinner I have been eating all of my meals alone in my room. I lock myself in there as much as possible, escaping my thoughts by watching Netflix. I've been watching mostly queer shows, because they give me hope. Especially this one show that I have been rewatching over and over called Heartstopper. It's comforting because it is a happy queer show, something I haven't found many of. The characters are just so unapologetically themselves and I wish that one day I can be like them. Happy. Happy being myself and happy with the people that surround me. In love with a boy and a family that supports me. I kind of relate to the character Nick Nelson. Everyone assumes he is straight but then he falls in love with Charlie, a boy in his form group. It makes me think of how I fell for Simon. But this show has a happy ending with loving friends and a loving family, and I doubt that my love story will end the same.
I have been avoiding social media for a while now. Everytime I opened it I was confronted with the video of me and Simon. I got tagged millions of times and it seemed to be the only thing on social media. It made me feel absolutely horrible. Today however, I decide to open Twitter to see if people have moved on from our video and spreading rumours about me. The first thing I see is a picture of Prince Henry of Wales kissing The First Son Of The United States. My mouth drops open. I quickly try to understand what is going on and I find out that they are dating. Officially. Prince Henry of Wales has come out. The PRINCE of Wales, has come out. Henry, the guy Erik's age that I sit with during royal dinners, of whom I had no idea that he is queer, is dating The First Son Of The United States. For real. I let out a surprised and delighted yelp and search the internet for every piece of information I can find.
It turns out they did not come out voluntarily. Their emails got leaked, similarly to that video of me and Simon. I resolutely decide not to read those emails, because I shouldn't be able to. They were their private emails. And through a horrible invasion of privacy the entire world can read them now. Amazingly, after their relationship got leaked they took matters in their own hands. Instead of covering it all up like I was forced to do, they officially announced their relationship. So it is possible. I grin at my phone. I am not the only queer royal. Maybe I can become happy like Nick and Charlie, like Henry and Alex, after all.