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It starts with Namjoon’s complete ignorance, which is just ignorance enough for Jeongguk’s light bulb to go off.
“Hey, do you think this set-up is weird?” Jeongguk has to prod Namjoon with his toe. His socked toe. His toe socked toe, because they’re the superior sock and one day his best friend will know this.
“Gguk, I literally don’t know what I’m looking at.” Namjoon sighs heavily, but he isn’t even looking! Jeongguk leans forward to snatch the book right out of his friend’s hands and toss it over his shoulder.
“But look at it! Look at this house he built! And the beds!” Jeongguk gestures manically at the screen, but he can tell through Namjoon’s glasses that he isn’t really looking, just nodding.
“Wait - who’s he?”
“My friend! Seokjin.”
“...howlmaster1992?”
“Yeah!”
Seokjin isn’t even playing right now, his username is dim and his character nowhere to be found, but when Jeongguk logged into the game this morning (afternoon), he’d found a fully stocked kitchen and the two twin beds in the bedroom of their current game pushed together.
Details that Jeongguk wouldn’t bother with, but then Namjoon says: “So, is this like the Sims, or something?”
“Hyung, does this even look like the Sims?!” How dare he? The structure and integrity of the house and city they’ve built, and Namjoon thinks they’re playing the Sims? (Not that Jeongguk won’t occasionally dabble in Sims City… But that’s something he plays by himself!)
“I honestly wouldn’t know.” Namjoon blinks. “Did you eat my leftover pizza?”
“Hey! Focus!” If Jeongguk snapped his fingers in any other hyung’s face, his fingers would be swiftly and promptly taken off, but Namjoon loves him, so. “Look. At. The. Beds.”
“...there was one bed? And they were roommates?”
“Oh my god!” Jeongguk wants to hurl his controller at his roommate’s head. “He keeps, like, doing stuff for me. That’s not really the point of this game!”
“You mean beneficial cooperation isn’t part of a video game made for profit?” Namjoon’s found something else to eat from their kitchen. Something loud. Cereal? The world’s stalest cereal by the sound of it.
“I’m telling you, it’s like he plays the game just to do stuff for me!” Jeongguk waves his hands around and on screen, his axe waves around too.
Namjoon gives the most noncommittal shrug. “Maybe he does. Maybe the point for him is making new online friends. Maybe he just likes you.”
Jeongguk blushes; he’s quick to hide under his biggest, softest blanket. His friends constantly tease him - “I’ve never met a bunny who blushes so much!” Jimin always says, and nothing stops Hoseok in his tracks faster than to come pinch Jeongguk’s pink cheeks when they make an appearance. They were insufferable apart and now insufferable together; he rues the day he helped Jimin’s schemes to woo Hoseok. Jeongguk keeps hoping Jimin’s snake instincts win out and he unhinges his jaw to fit the entirety of Hoseok’s little laughing head inside it.
Kinky bastard would probably like it though.
It is however Hoseok who takes the bait. “So, what do you know about this Seokjin? I assume you’re decent friends with him if you know his real name. Or a real name that isn’t whatever online insignia - wolfboy#69 or whatever.”
Jeongguk scowls. “It’s howlmaster1992.”
“So we know he’s older than you.” Hoseok’s ears twitch. His bushy tail swooshes, knocking Jeongguk in the nose. He has the biggest tail out of their friend group and he loves to flaunt it. “Maybe - too much older.” He narrows his eyes.
“Hyung! We’re not dating!”
“Yet. I know how you kids do it. You start talking online, next thing we know there is a wedding announcement. Zero real courting. Not like me and my Jiminie.”
“Oh my god!” Jeongguk trips over his feet and onto the very hard dance studio floor. “HYUNG.” Hoseok jumps up in the air as if he’s the prey hybrid in the room.
“Shit, are you okay? Jeongguk-ah-”
“Oh my god - he’s courting me!” Jeongguk yells over him. His floppy ears don’t have as much expression in them - they don’t perk up or down like a bunny hybrid with standing ears, but there is such a jolt of electricity down his spine that even his heavy ears lift up slightly from the side of his head.
“ - What now?”
“In the game! He’s courting me! Isn’t that a thing wolves do? They like, leave you gifts and shit you didn’t ask for at your doorstep?”
“Well, I don’t know if that’s-”
“It is!”
Hoseok looks so genuinely confused. Jeongguk hasn’t told him all the details like he has with Namjoon by default of living together. “In the game, he keeps doing things that don’t benefit him, they only benefit me. He left me some super rare armor the other day! Do you have any idea how long it would take to collect some of the things he just hands over to me?”
“Er.” Hoseok looks around, as if hoping someone will save him from this conversation. “No?”
“Oh my god!” Jeongguk waves his arms around - it’s not part of the dance they’re working on. “Oh my god,” he drops his voice and tugs at his ears.
Hoseok grabs his hands to pull them down, then smooths over the hair on his ears. “Wow, okay, we are cycling through excitement to devastation very quickly. You okay?”
“What do I do?” Jeongguk asks. On one hand, he’s flattered. He’s been chatting with Seokjin off and on now for over a year, which doesn’t seem like a long time in comparison to his friendship with someone like Namjoon or Jimin, but it’s long enough that Jeongguk looks forward to logging on and any time there isn’t a new message waiting for him, his day feels a little lackluster. They moved quickly from chatting in game to exchanging Kakaotalk IDs, and now it feels weird not to at least receive some kind of meme from Seokjin once a day.
Of course, there is the occasional day or even a series of days in a row when Seokjin goes offline and Jeongguk can’t bait him out for nothing. Other days? Jeongguk’s phone battery might be half drained from the amount of messages coming in.
He hasn’t been exactly forthcoming about how much he talks to his online friend; in part, he knows Namjoon, Jimin, and Hoseok wouldn’t fully get it. None of them have any kind of online presence that lent itself to friendship, not like Jeongguk who’s been gaming online long enough that he’s met and retained several long lasting friendships from the interwebs. A couple of them he’s met up with from cons, some of them he knows he’ll never meet. Seokjin is the newest among them, but he’s certainly the one he talks to the most now.
They message more than he does with any of his IRL friends at this point.
So why is he nervous to open his phone suddenly?
The next thing he receives from Seokjin is a meme including a prawn, a jab at Jeongguk’s posture in his gaming chair, a thing Seokjin hasn’t even seen because they don’t video chat but they like to joke about since Jeongguk spends a lot of time complaining about back pain for a young twenty-something. Back pain haunts everyone, okay? And Seokjin can’t lecture because he clearly has pain in his hands if he plays for too long, something he hasn’t heard frequent complaints about from gamers his age, but it’s not unheard of. It’s just - oldmanly. And Jeongguk likes to tease, and Seokjin likes to tease back.
So when he sees the prawn meme, he decides to scribble his own version of one on a page of his notebook and send it back. I wish I could see more of your drawings is the reply. Jeongguk blushes. Again. Seokjin isn’t even being super flirtatious. This is nothing! It’s -
“Oh my god!” Jeongguk screeches less than an hour later. “Oh my god!”
“What? What is it?” Namjoon comes running into his room with a bang on the side of Jeongguk’s door.
“It’s a motherfucking dragon’s egg!” Jeongguk shouts, leaning forward so closely and so quickly that he thwacks his face on his computer screen.
“... Say what now?”
“It’s - a - dragon’s egg!” he hisses at his friend, manically pointing at the item on the screen. “It’s like - the rarest of all items you can find in the game!”
“Jeongguk.” Namjoon scratches at the back of his golden ear like he’s got fucking fleas. (It would not be the first time, okay? They all knew where they came from, and who was the very good friend who helped Namjoon make sure they got all combed out? Hm? Who was it?) “You know I don’t get all of the gaming stuff, but I try to be supportive, but uh. What are you giving yourself a nosebleed over?”
“This fucker left me a dragon’s egg!”
“...Your friend? Seokjin?”
“Yes!”
Namjoon blinks.
Jeongguk blinks back (hands held aloft).
“But you like Seokjin?”
“Of course I do! He’s the best!”
Namjoon narrows his eyes. “Right.”
“I think - I think he’s courting me!” Jeongguk gestures at the screen. “Look at all of this stuff!”
“That stuff doesn’t mean anything to me, as we’ve discussed before, but I would advise you to trust your instincts on this kind of thing… Do you think it’s serious?” Namjoon asks. “Like - he would prefer to be doing this in real life, or do you think it’s, I don’t know, for fun? Just video game bros being bros?”
“Ew, hyung - are you serious? Bros being bros?”
Namjoon shrugs. He’s still scratching his head. And ears. “What’s - what’s going on up there?” Jeongguk asks, because suddenly he has something else he needs to worry about. Something more pressing.
“Nothing.” Namjoon quickly drops his hand and shoves both into his pockets. “Nothing, just itchy. Just regular itchy!”
“I swear to god, hyung!” Jeongguk jumps out of his chair; he can’t believe he’s about to say it, but the dragon egg can wait. If there are fleas in their apartment again!
Namjoon takes off running, but Jeongguk’s always had speed on him (and all of their friends). He catches him in the kitchen - where was he gonna go? - and tackles him to the ground. “Kim Namjoon! Sit still!”
Namjoon woofs under him, his stupidly long tail thumping under Jeongguk. Jeongguk doesn’t have a tail like his friends - his is little, doesn’t really do anything other than decorate, but his butt is truly one of a kind, so. Everyone loves his little fluff ball. It’s very cute, even if it’s not practical and doesn’t match the visual spectacle of muscle he’s put on in the past year. It’s an acquired taste. Whatever.
“Just hold still! I need to see with my own eyes!” Jeongguk yells, hands full of Namjoon’s hair, ready to start his search.
Namjoon woofs lowly, panting a little, moreso from the play aspect than anything else, the great brute. “I swear!” he pants. “I’m clean! I’m so clean!”
Jeongguk slaps his rump before getting off of him. “If I go looking through your hamper and I find a single shred of evidence…”
Namjoon yips, playfully tackling Jeongguk now that he can have the advantage of wrestling him on top. Grimacing, Jeongguk wiggles half out from under him before Namjoon gets slobbery. Canine hybrids. Ugh. At least Jeongguk can outmaneuver his mutt hyung now - when they first befriended each other, Namjoon was simply too big for Jeongguk to tussle with. Now that he’s been working out with him for a couple of years, Jeongguk can in fact hold his own.
It doesn’t stop Hoseok from lecturing them about roughhousing, and how maybe Namjoon should find a different gym partner. Jeongguk knows it comes from a place of genuine concern, but there was only ever one time Jeongguk hurt himself from pushing too hard to keep up with Namjoon, and that was a long time ago. Now he can lift just as much, can run further and faster. His muscle definition is almost as good!
Back in his room, Jeongguk is confronted with nothing but the game’s rarest find and the online friend it came from. ‘Friend.’ Are they friends? His coworker Hyungwon asked about his boyfriend the other day, and when Jeongguk just asked him, “What boyfriend?”
“Seokjin? That’s his name, right?”
“Uhhhhhhh -”
But thinking about it, he could understand why a coworker might think that. He’s mentioned Seokjin before, but not how they met, so. Maybe he does sound like a boyfriend. If Jeongguk had a boyfriend, and if said boyfriend played games with him, he might leave Jeongguk a rare gift like that… It’s kinda the only way it makes sense?
Seokjin’s online later when Jeongguk gets back. They play a little together, no huge in-game chatter any longer since they communicate during the day, but even for a weeknight this is just too quiet.
tokki_tokki: u ok?
tokki_tokki: quiet tonight
howlmaster92: fine
howlmaster92: tired
They scavenge the scene together for a while, neither of them into it clearly. It feels tangibly strange and off-putting. It feels like there is no way to avoid talking about it, so Jeongguk has to talk about it.
tokki_tokki: the egg?
There’s no response for a few minutes, Seokjin’s character busy working on the shoreline in the game.
howlmaster92: just wanted you to have it
tokki_tokki: but why?
Jeongguk already knows he won’t get an answer out of Seokjin; his friend often avoids any kind of emotional sentiment he’s noticed, doesn’t like to give a straight answer, even around the most basic of questions. At this point, Seokjin knows that Jeongguk works during the day in childcare and games at night with some success as an amateur streamer. He knows how old Jeongguk is, the music he’s always currently listening to, the name of his roommate. (Obviously) He knows that Jeongguk is a bunny hybrid.
But what does Jeongguk know about Seokjin? His age, given to him only by screenname, a name that he can only trust is real, and that he’s a wolf hybrid (given to him also by screenname, but later confirmed). He stays tight-lipped and steps around directly answering other questions, and Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s asked anything too personal.
There is just a kind of blank acceptance of minimal information at this point. Jeongguk looks forward to sending Seokjin pictures of his lunch or the protein shake that Namjoon made so that his friend can guess the ingredients based on the color of it, but they don’t talk to each other about anything more than surface level things.
If Seokjin liked him, if he wanted to be more than friends or even just a better friend, wouldn’t he be willing to drop something?
But, Jeongguk is fine with their friendship. He treasures it, in fact (not to be too sentimental). But he doesn’t actually think there’s more to it, even if he’s kinda flattered by the idea.
Seokjin logs out of the game before he answers. Later that night though, there’s a new message on his phone: Because I wanted to give you something nice.
Jeongguk jolts upright in bed with a screech that he knows will wake even Namjoon, but Namjoon is so used to his exuberant noises that there isn’t even a knock against their shared wall.
He - !
How dare he!
It’s almost three in the morning, Jeongguk should have responsibly gone to bed two hours ago, and now Seokjin sends him this? What’s he supposed to do with this? Even he thinks that’s crossing the lines of gamer bros just being bros!
Jeongguk drops with a huff onto his side, flinging his phone to the side of his bed and crossing his arms. He can feel how flushed his face is! He’s about to scorch a hole through his pillow at this rate. Something nice! Something nice? What’s Seokjin going to do next? Send him flowers at his place of work?
… Would he, if he could?
Jeongguk picks his phone back up. Biting his lip, he hesitates in responding. What does he say to that? Thanks? I love it? Why do you always do such nice things for me? Why did you -
Another message comes through.
I wish I could give you more.
With a sharp gasp, Jeongguk drops his phone and throws his comforter over his head. With a squeal, he kicks his feet against the bed manically. Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump -
“JEONGGUK! KNOCK IT OFF!” Namjoon yells from the other side of the wall.
Jeongguk huffs, sitting up quickly in bed. “Go get your fucking fleas dealt with then, you mangy mutt!”
“For the last time, I don’t have fleas!”
Their friends never believe Jeongguk when he tells them how loud the so-called bookish dog hybrid can yell. Namjoon may hide behind his reading glasses and his golden, fluffy ears that are perfectly bent at whatever fucking ninety degree angle that magazines used to hype as the preferred beauty standard, but people don’t know. They don’t know that Namjoon is exactly the kind of hybrid that pretty happily eats whatever off the floor, no three second rule in sight, or that he’s gotten fleas as an adult about once a year.
The least his roommate could do for him is use that big brain of his to help Jeongguk out; like, how is Jeongguk supposed to know what to do when someone may or may not be courting you virtually? The only guides (magazine articles) he’s ever read about it are for traditional courting. Like, scented items left on your doorstep kind of courting. That doesn’t apply here.
He mopes to Jimin; he doesn’t want to, because he knows exactly what Jimin will say. “Stop being an idiot and just ask him,” he says, squeezing around Jeongguk’s waist because he can’t help it. It’s the boa in him.
“I’ll do it if you scare Hoseok in the shower again.”
“Jeongguk, we’re dating now.”
Jeongguk grins. “Yeah, it’ll make it even funnier now.” He yelps as Jimin squeezes a little too hard, and curse him and his perfect skin because he’s a fucking cold blooded reptile, because when Jeongguk struggles back against him, actually using real strength because he has the muscle, Jimin doesn’t even blink.
He can even do this thing where he keeps the bunny hybrid pinned down with a scarily twisty torso and one arm, his free hand reaching for Jeongguk’s phone - “Hey! What are you doing?”
“This is him, right? Seokjin? ‘Seokjin wolf hyung’ in your phone, huh?”
“Give it back!” Jeongguk sweats, because Jimin has his chat with Seokjin open and Jimin can type with one hand like it’s his full time occupation. “What are - don’t! Hyung, don’t!”
What was the goddamn point of all of those hours in the gym if he can’t even wrestle his way out from his tiniest hyung?
“There we go,” Jimin says, suddenly letting go of Jeongguk completely. He wheezes; his insides feel like they’ve been remolded. “Let’s just see what he says.”
“What did you - ?” Jeongguk wants to know, but doesn’t want to know. With a shaking hand, he picks up and reads the message from him written by his traitorous friend. Have you ever courted someone before me?
“PARK JIMIN!”
“Hey, watch it!” Jimin hisses, flicking his forked tongue out at him.
“How could you do this to me?” Jeongguk wails, tears in his eyes. What if Seokjin hates him? What if he thinks Jeongguk is pranking him? Or worse, what if he thinks Jeongguk is serious, and he expects to be courted by him now? What if this was all a huge misunderstanding, and Seokjin really is just a generous gamer friend who wants nothing but an easy companionship online?
“Ggukie, relax.” Jimin notices the tears in his eyes and Jeongguk can actually see Jimin’s instant regret. “Or, don’t relax, but don’t worry, okay? We just need to get to the bottom of this, because I think you’re right! He must be putting out feelers, you know? Maybe this is the only way he feels like he can court you, you know.”
“Hyung,” Jeongguk whines miserably. “I don’t want to lose him as a friend if I’m wrong!”
Jimin chuckles. “My shy bunny.” He knocks his thick skull against Jeongguk’s, padded by one of Jeongguk’s fluffy ears. “Once a shy boy, always a shy boy.”
“Hyung. Stop. You’re barely older than me!”
“Let me keep your phone for the evening, huh?” Jimin’s already slipped it in his pocket.
“So you can soften the blow when he rejects me?”
“Who could reject such a cute bunny?” Jimin pinches one of his cheeks; Jeongguk bites at the air following his fingers, growling. Jimin mock gasps. “I didn’t know bunnies could growl!”
Hoseok finds the two of them on the floor, rolling back and forth, with Jeongguk’s teeth lodged in his boyfriend’s forearm. Jimin’s lucky that they aren’t in his fucking throat, the traitor! (Or maybe he’s lucky they aren’t in Jimin’s throat because Hoseok looks ready for murder, and only one of them will be the victim.)
It’s only after Jeongguk buys them both dinner (which, really? He’s the maknae, after all! And the single one!) that Jimin acquiesces to all of Jeongguk’s pestering to check his phone. He sees it on both of his friends’ faces as his screen lights up. Hoseok goes pale, and as Jeongguk’s heart sinks, Jimin’s megawatt smile comes out.
Jeongguk dives for the phone, ready to make a hasty retreat before they can make fun of him or worse - try and comfort him.
“Jeongguk, wait! Just, read it.” Jimin is gentler this time as he grabs for his hands, squeezing them more carefully. He’s still smiling, and this doesn’t feel cruel or placating. Jeongguk sits back and opens his phone.
You’re the first.
Jeongguk heaves out the breath he’s holding silently, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut, then - “EEEEEEEE!”
Both Jimin and Hoseok groan, covering their ears. Jeongguk hops up and down, ears perked up as high as they’ve ever perked up on their own. “He’s courting me! He’s courting me!”
“Yeah, we know, bun.” Hoseok looks apprehensive though; Hoseok had a nasty ex-boyfriend who was a wolf hybrid.
“Gimme!” Jimin swipes the phone once more, typing away before Jeongguk realizes. He’s torn between wanting to bite Jimin again or nuzzling him in happy gratitude.
“What - what did you send him now?” Jeongguk asks, wringing his hands over carryout containers full of fried chicken, then tugging at his ears. Hoseok tries to stop him before he can tug again.
“I asked him what he’s going to do about it then.” Jimin smiles wickedly. Next to him, Hoseok fidgets. Between the three of them, he has by far the best sense of smell.
“I can’t believe I have to sit here and watch you flirt with someone else,” Hoseok whines.
“It’s for Jeongguk!” Jimin protests, and even if he isn’t the canine in their group, Jeongguk knows how to turn on the puppy eyes.
“Aish! Stop, both of you!” Hoseok laughs once, then a second chuckle bubbles up.
“What did he say back?” Jeongguk eagerly presses into Jimin’s side, pulling Hoseok along with him. The three of them peer down at the phone. There’s nothing new yet.
“Well, let’s give him some time,” Hoseok says, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek first, then Jeongguk’s with a laugh (after more puppy eyes).
But more time passes, and Seokjin never replies. It only takes about five minutes for an all out meltdown on Jeongguk’s part; Seokjin surely must hate him now. With school closed the following day for a holiday, Jeongguk mopes around their apartment long enough that Jimin insists he just sleep on the couch. Jeongguk’s almost passed out by the time he sees it, tired out from the emotional upheaval of spiraling.
He wakes up to his phone buzzing against his cheek where he fell asleep with his eyes all but glued to it. Even with sleep fogging his vision, he sees that it’s from Seokjin. Squeaking, Jeongguk jerks upright and swipes it open.
Expect your first real gift then.
Real gift? What’s he mean, real gift?
Jeongguk looks around, remembers where he is, then volts himself over the back of Jimin’s couch towards the front door. With his jacket and bag in hand, he shoves his shoes on and runs out the door.
It is four in the morning.
That means nothing (or seemingly little) to Seokjin; the wolf keeps an odd schedule, but he knows Jeongguk would be asleep by now, no matter what. It does mean he needs to text Jimin why he left in the middle of the night, and it also means he has to wait longer for the next available train to take him home.
Inside his apartment building, it’s quiet. Which, duh. But whatever he expected (or really - just hoped) to find outside his doorstep, there’s nothing.
It’s just dark. It’s just the dirty mat that Namjoon’s had for three apartments now, barely hanging onto its last threads, and Jeongguk has never felt dumber in his entire life. What did he expect to find out there? A dozen roses? A scented clothing item? Luxury bath goods? Does he think he’s in a twentieth century romance novel?
Sighing, Jeongguk unlocks his front door and drops all of this stuff at the threshold. Inside, the hallway night light that Jeongguk purchased because he has a klutz of a roommate is on, but it’s less quiet here with Namjoon’s snoring filtering out his bedroom.
Feeling particularly vulnerable after leaving two perfectly willing cuddle buddies for an empty bed, Jeongguk decides to risk the potential danger of fleas to crawl into his puppy’s bed and curl up next to Namjoon. He doesn’t wake up when Jeongguk hops in, so he makes sure to put his foot in Namjoon’s face.
Namjoon swipes his tail across Jeongguk’s open mouth. He spits out fur and huffs, turning so his back is to Namjoon’s tail and feet.
He wakes up covered in so much dog hair that he regrets every decision made yesterday, but perhaps this one most of all. “Morning,” his roommate greets at the doorway. “Something came for you. I put it on your bed-”
“MOVE!” Jeongguk dashes out of Namjoon’s bed and successfully shoves him out of the way. “Oh my god!” he yells, standing on the precipice of his own bedroom, having barely budged Namjoon. He frowns lightly as he steps up behind Jeongguk. “Oh my god, it’s like - real life now!”
“Yeah, so, I’ve never seen flowers like these before. I’m not sure where they came from either, because there was no card, and-”
Jeongguk puts his hand on Namjoon’s face. “Hyung, you’re ruining the moment.” Namjoon licks his palm.
Jeongguk is used to it though. Wiping his hand as clean as he can (on Namjoon’s shirt), he approaches the bouquet. Like Namjoon mentioned, it certainly doesn’t look commercial - there aren’t a dozen red roses, in fact there are no roses at all. The spread of flowers on his bed is huge - bigger across than Namjoon’s stupid chest, and it’s full of dark colors and different textures. Smooth petals, but also spiky and bulbous pieces. Thorns left attached to stems, short thistles nestled between longer stems. It looks full of wildflowers, not something crafted from a store. It looks like something -
“From the game,” Jeongguk whispers. He approaches to delicately touch different parts of the bouquet, not entirely pleasant to feel, but what Jeongguk can pleasantly feel from this is intention. A lot of it.
“He’s never left me flowers in the game. Couldn’t, that’s not a thing you can collect. Not like this.” Jeongguk leans down to smell them - they smell more like earth than delicate flowers, but if he sniffs enough, scents hard enough, maybe he’ll catch a whiff of the person who delivered them. Did Seokjin bring them here himself? There’s no way, but also - there’s no card. Nothing with them. Just a thick black velvet ribbon woven into the flowers to keep them together.
They look like a fantasy brought to life from a romance novel (or fantasy based game) after all. “How were these delivered? Did you see?”
Namjoon shakes his head. “There was a knock at the door, but I didn’t see who.”
Jeongguk squeals.
“Are you squealing? Like a pig?” Namjoon looks concerned.
“No!” He absolutely is.
“Wow, JK. I, uh, didn’t realize how serious this was, or how much you liked him. Are you going to go on a date soon?”
“What? No!”
His friend frowns so much that it’s going to be permanently etched into his forehead. “No, you’re not going to date this guy you obviously like and already spend hours with most nights?”
“...I don’t know!” Shit. Jeongguk needs to text Seokjin to thank him for the flowers, but what else does he say? Should he ask Seokjin out, or does Seokjin ask him since he made all the first moves? Or would it be rude to make him do this too? “I don’t even know what he looks like!”
“Would that be important at this point?”
Well, no. “He doesn’t know what I look like either!” Which is sorta true. Jeongguk sent some artfully posed selfies that never exposed a straight-on look of his face, but Seokjin should have a general idea.
Namjoon chuckles. “No one has ever been able to say no to such a cute bunny, Jeongguk. I think you’ll be okay.”
“Hey! Who you callin’ cute?” Jeongguk puffs up his chest. He’d actually like Seokjin to call him cute. One day. When he sees his entire face.
“I meant buff. You’re a big, buff bunny.”
“Correct. Now get out of my room!”
“You gonna facetime your virtual boyfriend?”
“We don’t facetime. Obviously. Now get out!”
Namjoon does not. His ears perk up. “But - how did he know our address?”
So Jeongguk once gave it to him because Seokjin might have said he had a spare controller he didn’t need anymore after Jeongguk mentioned he didn’t have the spare funds to buy one at that moment. What about it?
“I said get out!” He closes the door in Namjoon’s yipping face. Now, he’s only confronted with everything he wished to have confirmed and no confidence to do anything with it.
Because he’s a coward, he says nothing. Later that next afternoon, Seokjin messages him to ask if he received the flowers. Jeongguk feels so warm in the cheeks, he’s a little faint. After confirming, he asks where Seokjin got such unique flowers.
My brother helped me.
Your brother is a florist?
Not exactly. He works in botanicals.
Well, these are the prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen. Thank you.
Yes, their conversation takes on an uncomfortably formal tone to it. Jeongguk winces looking at the phone, glancing over at his gaming station. It’s so much easier in the game. He sits down, logs in, and waits. When Seokjin joins later, it’s quiet at first, then he eases in by flaunting the dragon egg. Can’t believe you gave me this, he chats in. It’s like he can feel the chill thawing out as Seokjin’s character rather dramatically walks over on screen to a useless item and picks it up to offer to Jeongguk as well.
howlmaster1992: anything for my bunny
Jeongguk gulps.
tokki_tokki: and if bunny wants a date?
This time he isn’t kept waiting long.
howlmaster1992: like i said, anything for my bunny
tokki_tokki: irl date
tokki_tokki: like, in person
howlmaster1992: understood, bun
The game goes on. The night goes on. Jeongguk’s heart sinks, thinking that Seokjin must not have meant it, or he did mean it, but only when it could all be kept virtual.
The next day, Namjoon barges into his room without knocking. “What the fuck are you doing up?” Jeongguk screeches, already in the middle of wrestling on one of his more “respectable” looking sweatshirts that his admin lets him get away with wearing instead of a button down. He works with four-year-olds, for christ’s sake.
“Delivery.” Namjoon heaves a trash bag on his bed. Jeongguk shrieks.
“Why the fuck are you putting trash on my bed!” he yells. He thought they were way past this level of stupid prank war, but time to rethink all of his previously abandoned plans.
“It’s not trash, idiot.” Namjoon rolls his eyes. Fondly. “It’s a garment bag. Someone sent you clothing?”
Oh my god.
“Oh my god, it really is like a romance novel,” he whispers. He unzips the garment bag and inside is a rich brown leather jacket, worn in a way that only leather can be worn, and it smells, it smells like -
“Ugh! It smells like wet dog!”
“Kim Namjoon!” Jeongguk stomps his foot. “You of all people!” It actually smells good, okay? Really good. Like, woodsy. And earthy. Are those the same thing? Not to Jeongguk. Hm. There’s also something oddly metallic cutting through it, just a little. It doesn’t smell like it belongs, but he can’t quite place it.
“So. What’s this then?” Namjoon motions over Jeongguk, now desperately rubbing his face all over the jacket. “All of this? Is all of this dating a wolf now? For real?”
“It was real before!” Jeongguk hollers back, then freezes, covering his mouth. His roommate absolutely looks like a cat who caught a canary though, or whatever the canine equivalent is. The dog who chased a cat up a tree?
“I should be a goddamn therapist! Oh wait.” Namjoon pats himself on the chest. “I am. You’re welcome. For free.”
“Get the fuck out of my room! And don’t touch my stuff!” Jeongguk throws a bottle of lotion at Namjoon - just regular body lotion, no need for his best friend to scurry away from it like the plague!
“You mean, don’t touch your courting gifts?” Namjoon cackles down the hall and Jeongguk pouts. Just that fucker wait, just he wait.
Every hair on Jeongguk’s body stands up as he pulls on the jacket. It’s so soft, it’s so supple, it’s so crinkly? Crinkly, yes. There’s a letter folded inside a pocket. He’s pretty sure he knows what it will say, and if it doesn’t say it, Jeongguk will actually hole up somewhere and potentially die. Not to be dramatic or anything.
But there it is - written in handwriting far neater than his own, a time and place.
You’ll be there? Seokjin messages later.
I’ll be there, Jeongguk confirms. And you’ll recognize me because I’m already yours-
Okay, scratch that. Jeongguk can’t even type it with a straight face. Even if he’s living out a romance novel, it’s still a romance novel that has to take place in the twenty-first century.
I’ll be wearing your jacket, hyung :)
I would recognize you without it.
The problem is, Jeongguk doesn’t know what Seokjin looks like, and he feels like an idiot standing outside in a huge city park wearing the jacket of a wolf hybrid he’s never met before, observing traditions that he wasn’t brought up with. Wolves do the courting thing sure, as do lots of other hybrids, but he looks and feels ridiculous as a bunny with his little tail out on full display because that’s part of the deal. He has the velvet ribbon from the floral arrangement tied up in his hair and looping around his ears intricately. It’s meant to appeal to his suitor, but he doesn’t know his suitor. That’s all he can think. He doesn’t know Seokjin, not really, and yet he does in every way that matters. It does feel like they’re already dating. He just doesn’t want to admit it, certainly doesn’t want to say it aloud to someone in case he’s about to get his heart broken.
Honestly, this has to be the worst way to enter into a relationship - already so intimate in knowledge of another person? Halfway in love? It’s too much pressure! What if Seokjin already spotted Jeongguk and left? What if he was disappointed in what he saw? What if he’s too big, too muscular for his hyung’s tastes? Bunnies are meant to be small and cute! Not brawny, and what if he doesn’t like Jeongguk’s ears? What if -
“Bun.” The voice is warm, stable. Only then does Jeongguk realize that he may have spent time imagining what the wolf looked like, but never what he sounded like. Seokjin sounds friendly. A friendly wolf.
He turns around to greet him, face already so pink he knows. It’s okay though, because the hybrid standing in front of him is equally pink faced, ears twitchy and alert. It would be immediately clear to anyone that Seokjin is a wolf hybrid - his ears dominate his face and are pointier than a canine or even fox hybrid. They’re a rich brown to match the wavy hair and the big, bushy tail that hangs a little low, almost inbetween Seokjin’s legs.
It makes Jeongguk feel better; Seokjin avoided any kind of emotional trail in their messages, but he’s clearly a little on the shy side too. Even that, Jeongguk couldn’t tell for sure through virtual messaging. Now, he knows how handsome Seokjin is. He’s older than Jeongguk, and he looks it, but only in a few wrinkles around the eyes and smile. Jeongguk can tell Seokjin might also have a little more money, evident in his clothing but also the giant bouquet of flowers presented to him before, but it’s all undercut by a simple boyishness. Something - wolfish, perfectly pictured in the way that one of his fangs peeks out of his mouth just a tad on one side.
It’s both cute and hot somehow?
“Wow,” Jeongguk whispers to himself. He’s been playing games with this guy for a year now?
Seokjin laughs; it’s squeaky, not all deep and huffy like Namjoon’s. The wolf is tall, maybe as tall or even taller than Namjoon, but certainly tall enough that as he steps closer to him, Jeongguk’s prey instincts instruct him to step back.
He doesn’t.
Because he’s no dummy.
“Wait, are you sure you’re single? You’ve never courted anyone before? I find that hard to believe!” Jeongguk whines. Well, he didn’t mean to sound so whiny about it, but he definitely is. Seokjin looks back at him in surprise at first, then bursts out laughing.
“Says the bunny who looks like this.” Seokjin reaches for a strand of Jeongguk’s hair and holds it so tenderly. For a moment, Jeongguk thinks the wolf might also try to touch an ear, an extremely risky move on a first date, but he doesn’t. He seems to catch himself, looking down at Jeongguk and dropping said strand of hair before stepping back.
Despite the lack of in-person familiarity, their other familarities with each other are strong enough to override common demorum, it seems - but also Seokjin’s face is somehow getting even redder than before. It’s almost worrisome.
“Are you alright?”
“Ha, yes, ha. Hm. Ah.” Seokjin stutters through a lot of different sounds very quickly. He coughs, clearing his throat. He’s so tall. He’s so tall and dreamy! Jeongguk sways a little closer and looks up at him from under his lashes. He knows how to work this. “W-what? What did you say?”
“I asked, are you alright?”
“Fine, totally fine.” He looks like he’s about to combust. Wow. Suddenly, Jeongguk feels less nervous. He giggles. “You’re just, you know. Wearing my jacket. And, uh.”
“That means I accepted your offer to court?” Jeongguk suggests, raising an eyebrow. His eyebrows are perfect. He knows because Jimin helped shape them as part of a makeover last night.
Seokjin chokes, coughing. “Yeah. Yes.”
“You’ve sent me a lot of gifts already, haven’t you?” His tail is more mobile than his ears, something that surprises a lot of other hybrids, but his cottontail twitches. He sees Seokjin track the motion from the corner of his eye.
“Did I?”
“You gave me a dragon’s egg!”
“Oh.” Seokjin laughs again, this one a little less like a chew toy. “That doesn’t count, bun.”
“Yes it does! I want to count it.” He pouts. Seokjin’s twitching ears and tail go quiet watching him. He’s doing it. He’s pulling him into a trance. He’s got him right where he wants him. Who’s the prey hybrid here? Certainly not him!
“Oh, well - okay then.” Seokjin shallows. Jeongguk can hear it. Seokjin blinks once, twice, but like - hard? It’s cute, but also.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jeongguk asks. Seokjin may be a big wolf boy, but he’s curled in on himself and dressed in a far heavier coat than is strictly mandated by the clear sky and mild temperature, and he just kind of keeps blinking down at him.
“Yes, it’s just - you know. Overwhelming.” Seokjin’s quiet voice is softer than the cashmere sweater he pilfered off Hoseok last winter.
“Meeting finally in person, you mean?” Jeongguk guesses. It’s overwhelming for him too; to think, all this time, he’s been chatting with this absolute hottie! Why didn’t they meet sooner?
“Yeah.” He smiles at him, kind of sadly. “That too.”
Jeongguk gently takes his hand and tugs at it. “I brought the food like I said I would.” He even borrowed a plush blanket from Jimin and a wicker basket from Namjoon, of all people. “I went red meat heavy because, you know.”
He gestures at Seokjin.
“I’m a wolf?” Seokjin doesn’t look amused. Oh, shit.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” He hates it when people automatically guess he’s vegetarian! Seokjin waves him off.
“It’s fine. I just, uh. Usually follow a strict diet, but for today? I’ll try anything you made me.” He smiles warmly enough that Jeongguk chooses to believe he really isn’t upset. They sit on the blanket; Jeongguk insists on being the one to plate something for his wolf hyung.
“Is your diet for work?” he asks. Wait - he didn’t mean to ask that aloud. “I mean - you just, you know, look like you could be a model, or something.” Wow, Jeongguk. So smooth.
Seokjin grins so Jeongguk can see both of his canine fangs pointed out. Jeongguk knows that wolves like to bite - they like to bite and claim. That’s their mating ritual. Will Seokjin try to bite him if all goes well?
“No, it’s not for work,” he replies, voice thinner than before.
“Are you ever going to tell me what you do?” Jeongguk asks. “Not that it’s important. I know career isn’t the summation of someone’s worth or life, or whatever.” Namjoon put that so much more eloquently. There might have been doggy slobber involved, but his words were always perfectly poised.
“It’s nothing exciting, not like modeling, I assure you.” Seokjin looks at Jeongguk. Jeongguk looks back. The heavy blinking seems to be a character trait, and it’s the cutest character trait he’s ever seen.
“I do some freelance stuff in IT, that’s it.”
Jeongguk frowns. “That’s it? The way you said it, it sounds secretive, like you’re a spy or something.”
“Still nothing that interesting, but I do get to work from home, which is. You know.” Seokjin shrugs.
“The dream?” Jeongguk adlibs for him.
“Ah, it gets boring, Jeongguk-ah. A little lonely, even with my brother around.”
Jeongguk stays hung up on the way Seokjin says his name. “Here, eat more.” Jeongguk quickly shoves a piece of kimbap in the wolf’s mouth from his own chopsticks, which maybe is a mistake. His understanding of wolves is that they often prefer a more submissive partner… Maybe Jeongguk should sit back on folded feet. Pretty feet. Hoseok always talks about sitting pretty, and now that makes sense.
Seokjin’s cheeks stay so red, and in between bites he pants a little. It sounds like Namjoon when they play wrestle in the apartment, sometimes the only way he can get his roommate to calm down and go to bed. Jeongguk slows down in his need to feed his new suitor.
But the shortness of breath never goes away, nor does the extreme flush on Seokjin’s cheeks.
In fact later, when they take a very leisurely stroll around the river, both get worse. Seokjin looks - physically uncomfortable, using any excuse to stop and hunching up on himself. He keeps the conversation up, poses for a selfie with Jeongguk when the bunny asks for one, and not once complains about anything, but something nags at the back of his thoughts.
“Hyung.” Seokjin insisted he call him familiarly, like he didn’t already before. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jeongguk asks. How many times has he asked now?
“Ah, hyung is fine.” Seokjin’s fingers tremble. When Jeongguk obviously spots them, the wolf quickly pockets them. In his heavy winter coat. That he shouldn’t need.
There’s a picture coming into focus, but Jeongguk can’t quite see it yet.
“Hyung is just tired.”
Jeongguk takes his elbow, then slides his hand down Seokjin’s arm. He shivers. “Can I have these?” he asks, gently pulling out both of the wolf’s hands. Seokjin doesn’t take them back, so Jeongguk looks at them.
Pale, but with big blue veins sticking out. There’s a smattering of tiny red bumps on the underside of one wrist, like he might be having an allergic reaction to something. Shit, he did say his diet wasn’t for work? What if Jeongguk fed him something he can’t eat?
“Seokjin hyung, maybe we should sit inside somewhere for a bit. You look like maybe you’ve had too much sun.” Should he ask about food allergies? Surely he would have warned Jeongguk before letting him feed him so much?
“It’s okay, Jeongguk-ah. It’s not the sun.”
Jeongguk pulls at one hand, picking up the picnic basket on loan to him from Jimin. “I know just the place! It’s really cute, and it’s not far from here!”
“Really, I’m fine.” Seokjin tugs a little at his hold, but he stumbles along after him. Whoops. Maybe Jeongguk is stronger than he realizes, even compared to a wolf.
“I insist! Let me treat us to some bingsu. Do you like fruit bingsu or red bean bingsu more?” Visions of sharing shaved ice dissipate from his head as soon as Seokjin roughly yanks his hand out from his.
“I said it’s fine, Jeongguk.” It’s a snip, and Jeongguk doesn’t have to know Seokjin well to know it’s a snip.
He freezes, ears drooping so they’re almost in front of his eyes.
“Shit, I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I just -” Seokjin breathes out heavily. His tail hangs between his legs again, after Jeongguk worked so hard to make him comfortable enough that it wagged just once because he was so used to Namjoon’s wagging while watching his stupid reality television shows that no one believes the mutt watches.
Jeongguk’s had a boyfriend with a temper before.
But.
Seokjin looks legitimately like he’s about to get on his knees. “It’s okay. Really.” Jeongguk fidgets with the basket.
“No, it’s not okay. I’m really sorry. Hyung just - hyung just.” Seokjin bites his lip with the one tooth that sticks out. Jeongguk shakes his head and takes one of his hands.
“C’mon then. I want to bingsu now.”
Inside the cafe, they’re quiet at their table. Jeongguk’s never been there before, but he’d scoped out businesses around their meeting spot for different options. The bingsu is as tasty as any he’s had, but Seokjin just kind of pokes around without eating any. His diet must be more serious than he previously let on.
And then the wolf buys him a second bingsu without asking. “Is this apology binsu?” Jeongguk teases.
Seokjin cracks a grin. “Absolutely. But also, uh. I like giving you things, don’t I?”
Jeongguk’s blush overtakes Seokjin’s for the reddest face on this side of the hemisphere. “Damn, am I getting a sugar daddy?” he asks quietly, which makes Seokjin knock over the first (only half empty) bowl of melted contents everywhere.
They fall back into conversation; Jeongguk’s finally getting answers from Seokjin. Straight forward ones, like about his younger brother who’s a little older than Jeongguk. They live together (in a nice neighborhood) and the only thing Seokjin claims he can dislike about his brother is his inability to do dishes even though he claims to enjoy cooking.
“But it’s alright. Taehyung is dating a grumpy feline who loves doing dishes.”
“I didn’t know that about grumpy cat.”
Seokjin laughs. “Well, now you do.”
Even in the cafe, Seokjin keeps his bulky coat on. In fact, he wraps himself up in it. Jeongguk asks twice if he’s cold, which the wolf denies, but how can he? His face really must be sunburnt - it never loses its color, and he sniffles occasionally.
“Are you sick?” he asks finally. His hyung squirms in the chair as if he can’t get comfortable, which, fair. The chairs aren’t designed to be particularly comfortable, and they’ve been sitting there for over an hour already despite their multiple purchases.
“Why would you ask me that?” Seokjin’s voice takes on a defensiveness, not quite like before, but Jeongguk regrets asking immediately.
Which is stupid. If he’s sick, he shouldn’t be out. He tells Seokjin so.
Seokjin goes quiet. Really quiet. Like, totally quiet - not just from lack of conversation, but he goes still finally and just stares back at Jeongguk so impassively. “You’re right,” he says. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
He stands, slowly, as if it pains him. He even sways a little once his long legs are fully extended. Jeongguk scrambles up. “Are you leaving?”
“Yes, I think it’s for the best.” His smile now is wan. “Thanks for the lovely afternoon, Jeongguk-ssi. It was wonderful to meet you.”
“W-wait.” Jeongguk-ssi? That’s not - that’s not what they are. “When can I see you again?” He trails after Seokjin as he lumbers his way toward the door, movements stiff. Maybe they were sitting too long?
“I don’t know. I’ll message you later.”
But Jeongguk’s got a sinking feeling if he lets Seokjin go now, he’ll disappear, and all he has is his name and number. He doesn’t know where the wolf lives like Seokjin knows where he lives. What if he walks out that door and tonight Jeongguk is gaming alone? What if he blocks his number? His usernames?
“But - I’m wearing your jacket!” That stops Seokjin. He turns his head to look down at him, but he doesn’t turn his body towards him, and Jeongguk may be slow on some things, but he can read basic body language.
“It looks good on you.” Seokjin’s smile looks sad. It looks sad! “Keep it.”
Keep it? Does that mean Seokjin doesn’t plan to see him again? Jeongguk trails after him into the sunshine but it certainly feels like it should be raining. “Hyung?”
“Hyung needs to go now, Jeongguk-ah.” Well, at least it isn’t Jeongguk-ssi.
“But I’ll see you tonight? Online, I mean?”
“Maybe. Hyung is tired, bun.”
Jeongguk only lets him go because of the last bun, but Seokjin isn’t online later that night. Or the next.
He is inconsolable about it. “I think he’s breaking up with me and we weren’t officially dating even!” Normally, he wouldn’t tolerate Namjoon touching his perfectly groomed ears, but desperate times.
“Jeongguk.” He sighs, but he doesn’t say anything more. Because he knows Jeongguk is right. When Jeongguk arrived home the previous evening, Namjoon’s ears went straight back when he saw the tears in his eyes. Jeongguk tried to avoid telling him at first. He only lasted ten minutes.
At least Jeongguk is pretty sure there are in fact no fleas in their apartment, and Namjoon just needs to switch back to some dandruff shampoo. He’ll take his small condolences where he can get them. He alternates moping in his bed and his friend’s bed. Mostly Namjoon’s bed, because if he lies in his bed he has to look at his massive desktop computer used for gaming. It’s where he met Seokjin, and where Seokjin’s jacket lay on the back of his chair.
Now he’s crying again. “I didn’t make it up, right? He was courting me, and now he’s ghosting me.” Seokjin hasn’t replied to any of his messages.
Namjoon sighs heavily again, but he keeps petting him and that’s what matters. Him and his flea free self. There are definite perks to living with and being best friends with a therapist, and yet when Jeongguk feels most adrift are the times when Namjoon tends to be quietest, reluctant to offer reassurance he so desperately wants.
But if there’s one thing Jeongguk can count on as an adult, it’s that work won’t give him the time to rest (or lick his wounds). For the first time ever, his school requires parent-teacher conferences even for Jeongguk’s four-year-olds, which - is fine, but also it’s ridiculous. Jeongguk has to sit through round after round of parents expressing concern over their kid not liking to read enough even though Jeongguk assures them that four-year-olds don’t read. Not really. One mother actually suggests Moby Dick for reading material and he believes her earnestness in the matter so much that he contemplates quitting for a mere six minutes. Then she leaves, and he immediately feels better.
“I’m never having children,” Jeongguk laments to Namjoon and Hoseok at home. “I don’t want to become that.”
Without comment or glancing at the television, Namjoon switches the channel they’re watching to a kids show with some a hamster hybrid toddler chasing after an alligator hybrid in a cape. Jeongguk perks up at the sight of them; they’re so cute!
Both Namjoon and Hoseok stare with silent judgment. “What? Anyone would be lucky to have a baby that cute!”
When Jimin arrives they eat a random assortment of leftovers - Namjoon and Jeongguk eat the couple’s, and the couple eat theirs. It’s an arrangement they worked out last year, called upon in favor at desperate times when Jeongguk couldn’t stand to look at the leftovers from the picnic that he packed for Seokjin, so.
They avoid talking about it even if he was all Jeongguk talked about last week. Then at the eight day mark after their date, Seokjin texts him.
“‘Hey?’” Namjoon hisses, tail whipping back and forth so furiously that it hurts when it smacks Jeongguk’s arm. “That’s all he has to say to you? ‘Hey?!’”
“Hyung, give me back my phone.”
“You gave it to me, probably to keep yourself from doing something stupid, like texting him back.” Namjoon crosses his arms, one hand still fisted around the phone. Jeongguk tackles him until his entire body is entombed by their couch, but Namjoon does not give him the phone back that night, and the next day it’s dead before he has to go to work. When he gets home later that night after happy hour with Hyungwon, there is a parcel on the doorstep and immediately he knows who it must be from.
And that his roommate must not be home yet, lest that parcel be in the fucking trash.
Inside the soft padded envelope is a letter and a dragon’s egg.
Well, it’s a solid chocolate egg that’s clearly meant to look like a dragon’s egg, and it will sit on Jeongguk’s shelf left to rot from now until the end of time, because it’s too cute to eat.
Namjoon wouldn’t notice the entire fridge emptied out immediately after a grocery run, but he immediately sees the egg in Jeongguk’s room and the sheet of paper on his desk. “What’s this? An apology letter?”
Jeongguk hums, nodding. He’s already put in his leave-in conditioner for his ears and tail; Namjoon is just in time for him to take his furry matters directly into his own hands. He pats the bed in front of him and waves the bottle at him.
“Is that the rose one or the mint one?” Namjoon narrows his eyes.
Jeongguk rolls his. “When was the last time I bought the mint one?”
Namjoon takes a seat in front of him, grumbling. The fur on his ears and tail is coarser than Jeongguk’s and it is never free of tangles despite the professional image he needs for work. Namjoon gets away with it because he’s a dog hybrid and dog hybrids are just so sporty or rugged or whatever.
“Ow!” he yelps. Jeongguk grins; yanking out his tangles is actually his personal favorite form of therapy.
“Sit still, you big baby.” Jeongguk rips through another and Namjoon’s whole body jerks, but he stays silent if not still.
“So? The letter? Are you forgiving him?”
“Wow, for a certified mental health professional you sure sound judgemental.” Jeongguk pauses with a particularly nasty looking little burr of a knot wedged in between the bristles.
“I just-”
Jeongguk pulls; Namjoon howls.
Grinning, “He wants to see me again.”
Namjoon scampers away from his hands, turning around and rubbing at his one ear. Seriously - how is it possible for one ear to tangle like that? “Will you?”
“Yes. I missed him this past week. A lot. And.”
“And?”
“And he asked me to meet him at his place.” Jeongguk was shocked, to say the least. “You know how evasive he’s been with me about details of his life.”
Namjoon nods seriously. “A red flag.”
“Hyung.”
“Trust me, Jeongguk-ah.”
“Hard to trust an adult who’s gotten fleas more than once in the past year.” He tosses the bottle of conditioner to him. “Do your tail.”
“Okay fine, eomma.” Namjoon angrily swipes it through the tail in his lap so Jeongguk can see in real time how the tangles come to be. What is he even doing? “When will you see him?”
“Friday night. After work.”
“I’m coming with you.”
Jeongguk double takes at the person sitting right in front of him. “Excuse me?”
Namjoon huffs. Approximately forty percent of his tail got conditioned. “You’re giving him the gift of a second chance, and I am giving him the gift of not socking him one.”
“Hyung, you’re a pacifist.” Literally, Namjoon keeps pet spiders on his plants. They’re named with very vivid and detailed imaginary love lives. Jeongguk doesn’t mean to laugh, but he is.
“Up until the past twenty years, chaperoned visits were the norm, Jeongguk-ah.”
“Not from your friend who is two years older.”
Namjoon crosses his arms. When Jeongguk doesn’t react, he flexes. “We could wrestle this out. If I pin you, I accompany you.”
“If you pin me, I physically won’t be able to go on a date!” Which is a little dramatic, but Jeongguk isn’t agreeing to something so stupid. Stupid because he knows he probably won’t win, and stupid because it’s childish.
“You’re going to his home! This isn’t a public place, and you don’t know him that well!”
Jeongguk deflates; again, the people in his life don’t get it, wouldn’t get it. They’ve never had a close relationship that came from an online one, friend or otherwise, and normally Namjoon would be the first one to defend said friendships, but if a wolf leaves you in the emotional lurch one time…
Apparently golden retrievers hold more grudges than their otherwise good nature would dictate.
“Fine! Fine, you can ‘accompany’ me to his home to see where it is with your own eyes, but then you are leaving, okay!” Jeongguk puts on his own version of puppy eyes. “I deserve a proper apology, don’t I?”
Namjoon’s arms relax from the manic flexing. Probably gave himself a muscle spasm, the posturing idiot.
“A proper apology should be between just the people who it affects, wouldn’t you say?”
“Hey, leave the shrinking to me, okay!” When Namjoon jumps off the bed, his tail looks absolutely ridiculous - fluffed up in patches and slicked down in others. Jeongguk yanks at it to try and smooth it all down to one length, but his roommate suddenly has better things to do than make demands of him.
That Friday, they stand outside a shiny new apartment building. “Family money?” his friend asks.
“I got that impression.” Jeongguk shrugs. They know better than to hold it against someone, after all it wasn’t until they’d known Hoseok for a full year that they realized who his mother was, but Jeongguk doesn’t necessarily think freelance IT pays well enough in the probably ten years Seokjin’s been working to afford this.
There are several doormen who confirm who they’re there to see, so by the time they reach the correct doorstep, Seokjin surely knows they’re there. Jeongguk hesitates to knock; Namjoon does not.
The person who swings the door open violently isn’t Seokjin; this wolf hybrid has darker black hair and even pointier ears. Both of his canines stick out from his upper lip just a little but it’s played off by the curliest and longest eyelashes he’s ever seen.
Beside him, Namjoon makes a sound in between a whine and a yip. His tail begins to wag slowly, thumping Jeongguk’s side.
“Does everyone have a chaperone?” Jeongguk murmurs to himself.
“Who are you?” Namjoon asks, voice strained.
“Taehyung-ssi? Right?” Jeongguk guesses, because who else could it be? He’d forgotten until now that Seokjin lived with his younger brother. Taehyung isn’t as tall or wide as Seokjin, but looks about ten times more intimidating. “You’re the florist.”
Taehyung frowns. “Florist? I work in pharmaceuticals. I’m a chemist.” His voice is way deeper than Jeongguk expects. So different from his brother’s.
“With botanics, right?”
“What?” Namjoon barks out, tag wagging a little faster. “You look like that and you’re a chemist?!”
Namjoon woofs. Jeongguk puts a hand on his chest. “Down boy.” Taehyung does not look amused by either of them.
“Seokjin can’t meet you.” Taehyung crosses his arms and naturally poses, hip against doorframe, like a model. Jeongguk hears Namjoon begin to salivate.
“He isn’t here?” Jeongguk frowns.
“He’s here. He can’t meet you at the door.”
Jeongguk and Namjoon share a look. “He can’t greet someone he invited at the door, even though he is in fact home?” Namjoon asks.
Taehyung sighs, and it’s not the friendly kind of sigh that Namjoon or Hoseok have adopted to signal the end of a conversation they don’t want to have. It’s an angry sigh.
“Just come in and see for yourself. He insists that he wants to see you still.” Taehyung steps out of the doorway long enough for Jeongguk to remove his shoes and glimpse the immediate interior of the nicest apartment he’s ever seen. “Him, not you. Who are you?”
“Kim Namjoon. Pleasure!”
“Hardly,” replies Taehyung, voice full of disdain. “You’re slobbering on my shoes.”
“Sorry.” Namjoon does not, in fact, sound all too sorry. He sounds excited. His tail now thumps the doorframe, indicating that he’s made it this far into the apartment, but Jeongguk isn’t looking at them. He’s looking at - all of this stuff.
For as opulent and clean as the apartment is, it’s cluttered in spots with all kinds of - medical equipment? There’s some sort of machine on wheels at the end of a long kitchen bar, and across the top of the bar are pill bottles. A lot of them. Half empty bottles of water and sports drinks lineup behind them. Boxes of tissues and stray (used?) tissues alike litter surfaces, and there are several blankets and big hoodies thrown over chairs or the back of the couch.
The inside doesn’t quite match the outside. Something’s going on, and despite the telltale signs of illness, Jeongguk is reluctant to piece it together.
“His room is down the hall - it’s the only door on your left,” Taehyung says from behind him. “I guess I’ll dogsit.”
“Thanks,” Jeongguk mumbles, tiptoeing down the hall because that’s what his instincts tell him to do. The said door remains cracked open, but he can’t see anything. It’s too dark, little artificial light on inside and the night sky at play outside.
“Jin hyung?” He raps quietly on the door, then pushes it open slowly. Inside, it’s dark enough his eyes need to adjust, but he makes out a shifting figure in a bed.
“Jeongguk-ah. Come here.”
Oh. Jeongguk’s heart sinks when he sees him. Later, he’ll think about how it isn’t fair for that to be the immediate reaction, but he had no idea. No idea of the signs or the little ways Seokjin held back in the bigger picture, and even right then, when he sees the bigger picture, it feels so obvious.
“What is it?” he asks, quietly approaching the bed. Seokjin’s nestled in it, thick blankets over his lap and one pulled around his shoulders. His face is just as flushed as the first time they met, but there is no sun to blame for it. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick?”
Because this isn’t a cold or the flu - this is chronic illness. It’s evident in their surroundings. It’s evident in the way that Seokjin felt aloof for so long, so hesitant to tell Jeongguk about himself.
“Lupus.” Seokjin winces as he says it.
Jeongguk stops in his tracks, looking down at him.
“It’s alright, you can laugh.” Seokjin smiles like it’s easy for him. “Yes, I’m a wolf hybrid with lupus.”
“The lupine lupus?” Jeongguk says, stifling a chuckle because it really isn’t humorous.
“I know, I know.” Seokjin’s grin doesn’t wear down. It looks more genuine now than any of the smiles he shared with Jeongguk upon their first meeting, even if he overall looks tired and pale in bed. “It’s an unfortunate condition unfortunately bestowed with cosmic and comedic effects.”
“Hyung, what even?” Now Jeongguk does grin, because if Seokjin needs this to be nonchalant, then he can be too. For Seokjin.
“I know this is a bit forward, but you’re welcome in my bed.” Seokjin lifts one corner of the top blanket. There are more under it. There are also two heating pads in sight if not in use, so Jeongguk makes a mental note that he needs to make sure his hyung is always warm. “This bed is where I live twenty-four seven most weeks, so.”
Hence why he couldn’t greet them at the door. “Are you - are you in pain? Right now?” Jeongguk may not know much about lupus, but he knows it causes severe joint pain. He thinks back to their first date, how stiff Seokjin seemed, how it got worse over time after walking around.
“It’s a regular day for me, which unfortunately means that the pain is manageable, but I still don’t feel up to much.”
“Was it a good day when we first met?” Or did you push yourself to go on a date with me, Jeongguk wonders.
“It was a great day, bun.” The grin he gives him is dizzying.
“Oh.” Jeongguk is struck with that inexplicable feeling of being young, too young to navigate a situation like this. He crawls into bed with him like the little kid he feels, but he’s immobilized by the way Seokjin curls around him, tail and all wrapping around his waist.
“Look how perfectly this bed fits the two of us,” he jokes, but Jeongguk feels how thin Seokjin’s wrist feels under his hand when he cradles one of the wolf’s hands.
“I’m glad it’s comfy, if it’s where you spend most of your time…” Jeongguk bites his lip, hiding his face because he also inexplicably feels ready to cry.
“It’s technically where we met! For me.” Seokjin nods towards a massive desk shoved into the corner of the room. There’s an even bigger gaming setup than his own, but there are also a couple of laptops and tablets.
He touches Jeongguk’s face so softly, tilting his eyes up towards his. They way they’re lying together, not just in bed, but so thoroughly entwined, speaks of intimacy that Jeongguk’s felt for so long but never had with him.
“Thank you for meeting me IRL,” Jeongguk says.
“I needed to meet you ‘IRL,’ bun.” Seokjin laughs. It’s the same high pitched and squeaky one. It’s so different from how Jeongguk imagined he would sound, but it’s so much better. “There’s only so much courting I can do in a video game.”
Jeongguk pouts. “But you still have to gift me things in the game too.”
“Sure thing, bun. Make your chronically ill boyfriend do all the courting.”
Jeongguk crosses his arms and lifts his chin up. “Bunnies don’t do the courting, they are courted.” He cracks one eye open to make sure he isn’t taking this too far, but he knows Seokjin. He knows him.
Seokjin laughs silently this time, but when he stops, he grimaces. Jeongguk lifts a hand to squeeze the back of his neck. “What hurts? What can I do to make it better?”
Seokjin shakes his head. “You’re here. That’s enough.” But it’s more than his cheeks that are red now. It’s his ears and neck.
“Is this - is this a blush?” Jeongguk asks, fingertips hovering over his neck because he doesn’t want to touch in case it will hurt. “Is hyung thinking of a different way I could make him feel better in bed?”
“Brat!” Seokjin sits up straighter. They giggle together. It makes Seokjin winded.
“You could have told me. You could have told me day one even. It wouldn’t have made a difference to me - I still would have happily played with you,” Jeongguk says later, after a lot of loud crashing noises outside of the room. Taehyung brought them dinner at one point, leaving a tray on a side table in a way that looked far too practiced.
He did not ask if they wanted to join him and Namjoon out in the living room.
(“I have a boyfriend!” they hear Taehyung very loudly shout at one point.
An excited bark and another crash. Jeongguk winces; he knows exactly how Taehyung is probably pinned down.
“I can share!”
“He’s a cat!”
“Oh no,” Jeongguk whispers in Seokjin’s bedroom. “Joon hyung loves cats.”
“...Erm?” Seokjin raises his eyebrows and they both peer out the open door, even though they can see nothing but hallway wall.)
“Traditionally, a wolf courting someone would feed the other person, you know,” Seokjin remarks as Jeongguk taps at his lips with chopsticks.
“You clearly need help,” Jeongguk says as dryly as possible. “You’re too skinny!”
He claps his hand over his mouth as soon as he says it; shit, he sounds just like his mother! “I didn’t mean anything by that, sorry!”
Seokjin laughs good naturedly; Jeongguk wonders if it’s hard for him to put on weight. He didn’t need to comment on that! “I like to bake, you know.”
“And I have a big kitchen, you know.” Seokjin pinches his side, clearly done eating for now.
“Is that a standing invitation?”
Seokjin shrugs, eyes in his lap. “It might be fun to play something together in person.”
“But hyung, we’ll never get out of bed together!”
“Jeongguk!” Seokjin playfully shoves him, but it’s weak. Jeongguk staves off a look of concern, but he’s already plotting out different ways he can casually determine how strong Seokjin might be feeling at any given moment.
He fusses over how much Seokjin eats, then he fusses over making sure he’s comfortable enough in bed. Seokjin’s smile vanishes, and he catches one of Jeongguk’s hands in his. “Hey, Jeongguk-ah, I want a boyfriend, not a caretaker, you know?”
“Sorry, sorry, I just - ” Jeongguk bites his lip before he says anything embarrassing, like I care too much not to fuss, or what’s wrong with being both? But he knows what Seokjin means. If he were in the same position, Jeongguk does not think he would be so kind or patient.
“It’s okay because I just told you, but it’s important if we’re going to try this out that you understand. I don’t want or need someone to fluff my pillows or make me tea. I already have a brother who I can’t kick out who does all that anyway.”
“Speaking of whom, should we be worried about how quiet it is now?” Jeongguk strains his ears, but they don’t move like Seokjin’s when he tilts one back towards the door. Up until dinner, Taehyung and Namjoon were audible. Audibly disagreeing, audibly agreeing, and audibly playing?
When Taehyung had poked his head in, his shaggy hair was a mess and Namjoon’s face peeking in behind him was pink with panting. There was a circular damp spot on one of Taehyung’s shoulders.
Now, Jeongguk wasn’t all that concerned because he knew how much Namjoon loved to wrestle, but he is surprised Seokjin doesn’t react to his brother’s appearance at all.
“Oh, I fully expect they’re trying to be quiet in their noisier activities now.” Seokjin snickers.
“Hyung! That is my best friend and your little brother! Didn’t you say he had a boyfriend?”
“Oh yes.” Seokjin looks truly delighted. “Grumpy cat. That would be my best friend, Yoongi. He’s here, by the way. Guess you didn’t meet him when you came in - he’s a little skittish, but if I had to guess, he’s curled up asleep in your Namjoon’s lap by now.”
“Uh, you don’t know Namjoon.” Jeongguk doesn’t know how to tell him that Namjoon isn’t exactly the cuddly type. He’s the hold-em-down-and-pin-them type.
“Oh, but you don’t know Yoongi, or Tae-ah.” Seokjin looks delighted by the idea of a burgeoning throuple in their midst.
He could point out that dog and cat hybrids aren’t known for their high compatibility despite Namjoon’s best attempts, but here he is, a bunny in bed with a wolf, so he’ll skip saying something so embarrassing aloud.
Seokjin holds up a finger to his lips, then unwraps from his pile of blankets. Watching him try and maneuver out of bed reminds him of the cafe, how it took just a little too long for him to get up out of those hard chairs. Jeongguk asks if he can help, and this time Seokjin gives him a little smile as he leans up against his back.
They walk quietly (and slowly) down the hall. There, in the living room for anyone (Seokjin and Jeongguk) to see is a dog pile of hybrids. Yoongi, the cat hybrid, really does look like grumpy cat, and he’s the one sitting on top of Namjoon while the canine is sprawled over a reclining Taehyung’s lap.
Taehyung has the same unamused look on his face from when he opened the door, Namjoon looks like he might be asleep with his face smooshed onto the wolf’s shoulder, and Yoongi is so content he grooms from atop Namjoon’s butt where he clearly made himself comfortable after Namjoon pinned Taehyung to the floor.
“What am I looking at?” Jeongguk hisses.
“The power of the feline,” Seokjin whispers back. “Watching him court my brother, potentially the only person in the world crankier than him, was like watching a magic show, you have no idea.”
“Namjoon likes everyone, but he never wants to date anyone.” People tended to think they were a couple, which used to make Jeongguk blush, but every time Namjoon laughed it off goodnaturedly like it was an absurd idea. Over time, it made Jeongguk defensive, which led to a lot of their play wrestling.
(“You would be so lucky to date me!” Jeongguk would yell, wiggling out from under the dog and if the times were dire enough, all he had to do was give his tail a yank.
“Ow!” Namjoon would protest. He’d look scandalized for a moment, then he’d break into another affable smile and dive for Jeongguk.)
“Oh my god,” Jeongguk whispers to himself. “I won’t have to wrestle with him every day now.”
“What?” Seokjin asks, eyebrow raised.
“I think two boyfriends are exactly what he always needed.” Jeongguk nods to himself. By now Taehyung has been glaring at the two of them hovering in the hall for a solid minute and the cat hybrid’s tail flips up, ears alert in their direction.
“Yoongichi, this is Jeongguk.”
Namjoon’s tail wags, harder and harder, under Yoongi. His butt starts to wiggle with Yoongi perched on top of it, and the feline grins. Or smirks?
Beneath the both of them, Taehyung frowns harder.
It doesn’t take much time at all before they spend most of their free nights at the Kim brothers’ - once introduced on one of Seokjin’s good days, even Hoseok and Jimin start hanging around. It’s partly to do with the fact they have the most space, but also in part because of Yoongi’s natural charms.
“Feline wiles,” Seokjin always corrects.
“Wiles?”
“Like my wascally rabbit.” Seokjin wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders and kisses the top of his head.
It’s really because Yoongi is an amazing cook. Like, between his cooking and Jeongguk’s baking?
“We’ll all be ready for hibernation soon,” Namjoon laments, patting his tummy from where he’s spread out across both Yoongi and Taehyung’s laps, despite being twice their size.
“That’s brumation to you, sweets,” Hoseok comments while poking Jimin in the cheek. It is actually nowhere near cold for anyone but Seokjin, whose temperature delicacies seem to have nothing to do with his illness and everything to do with just his hyung himself.
Courting continues. For all couples, most of all between Taehyung and Namjoon and Yoongi. Mostly, it’s Namjoon following Taehyung around constantly in a way that would make anyone melt in adorableness. For Taehyung, it takes a couple months. Yoongi takes to Namjoon immediately, seemingly happy to share his affections with more than one person like it was always a given.
“Taehyungie’s just a little guarded,” Jeongguk’s boyfriend tells him. His boyfriend - !! “Our parents pressured him to take on responsibilities that were never really his because of my lupus. He had to grow up faster than he should.”
For every one of Seokjin’s easy smiles despite his illness, Jeongguk sees nothing but frowns from Taehyung.
Until the morning that Jeongguk tiptoes out of Seokjin’s bed to make himself breakfast while his boyfriend rests longer. In the kitchen Taehyung is not only smiling, he’s laughing, head thrown back and tears on his face.
In front of him, Yoongi and Namjoon stand shoulder-to-shoulder sopping wet with what Jeongguk sincerely hopes isn’t drool.
Jeongguk turns around. That moment isn’t for him, and breakfast can wait.
When the weather turns cold, really cold, he sees more and more of Seokjin’s bad days. The colder it is, the more everything hurts. He works less, he sleeps more. While he joked about living out of his bed before, now it feels really true. Jeongguk goes to Seokjin’s apartment, lets himself in and out, but sometimes doesn’t even get to talk to his boyfriend, too lethargic for even conversation.
Jeongguk always comes armed with his favorite leave-in conditioners, face masks, and nail polish. Seokjin leans against a pillow on his chest while Jeongguk fusses over his ears, and unlike Namjoon, actually lets him smooth out every tangle, real and imaginary. Seokjin will doze off and on, but Jeongguk knows he’s about to wake up when the trembles start.
“Bun. Bunny.” Seokjin licks his chapped lips, always dry and cracking. Jeongguk reaches for his lip balm first, then water. “Are you sure you want to be here?”
“Yes, hyung. I’m sure.” Jeongguk kisses his nose, longer and sharper than his own round bunny nose. A true snout. Handsome.
“There are other wolves, you know. Less sickly ones. Or you could find another nice bunny to settle down with. Someone who can sit through a recital for your class. Someone who can court you the way you should be-”
“Hyung.” Jeongguk covers his mouth. “You aren’t scaring me. I’m here now. I see you. All of you. I’m not leaving.”
And he doesn’t.
There are many, many nights spent curled up in Seokjin’s bed. There are a few spent in Jeongguk’s, up until he moves in with Seokjin and Taehyung moves out. There are the occasional very rare but very scary nights spent in a hospital bed.
He doesn’t leave, and he learns the balance of boyfriend and caretaker, no matter Seokjin’s protests. Happy to carry his big bad wolf on his back, they wait for warmer weather to do much outside the apartment. He learns all of the foods that may or may not trigger a flare-up and just how often they can change. He and Taehyung personally test all the different brands of UV protective clothing first before Jeongguk buys them in Seokjin’s size. When they plan their first trip together, Jeongguk plans it around indoor activities available within a walkable distance from hotels in the warmest place possible, and he just knows he’s going to sweat through every piece of clothing he packs on the first day.
He thinks about everything differently now, and it makes him not only a better partner, but a better friend and teacher too.
“Hey howlmaster.” Jeongguk gently kicks at Seokjin’s foot. “It’s your move.”
“Hyung is tired, tokki. You play for both of us, okay?” Seokjin leans back against his chest, Jeongguk lifting his arm on autopilot to make room for him.
They actually are playing Sims now, because now that Jeongguk has a boyfriend he finds it more fun to meddle in the fictional love lives of characters. He walks into the house of fictional Seokjin and Jeongguk and realizes it’s not at all how he left it.
“Hyung, what is this?” Jeongguk asks, sitting up straighter, dislodging Seokjin from his comfy spot. His heart begins to race.
On screen, the furniture in their living room has been removed and fictional Seokjin kneels in front of fictional Jeongguk (who has amazing long purple hair - something IRL Jeongguk didn’t pull off quite the same).
“How did you get them to do that?!” Jeongguk yells, eyes tearing away from the screen to his boyfriend next to him. He isn’t kneeling, probably because they’re both sitting already, but in his outstretched hand there is a velvet box.
“No!” he yells, but the excitement is evident in his voice.
Seokjin grins. “Yes.”
“No!” Jeongguk jumps up to his feet, then hops up and down so his big ears flop, flop, flop.
“Tokki, my love.” Seokjin pauses, smiling with a head tilt. “I’ve got one last treasure to offer.”
He opens the box; it’s been almost two years since they met in person. Eight months since they moved in together. Jeongguk chiseled down the last walls and doubts between them. Seokjin met him on the other side.
“Yes, yes, yes!” Jeongguk chants as he jumps. He knows he has to stop to receive said ring, but he can’t, and Seokjin isn’t able to get to his feet right now, so he stays on the ground laughing, so happy looking.
He stays.
In sickness and in health.