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Master, please do not abandon me. If you do, I will cry a river.
-Jang Uk-
That year, winter descended upon Daeho Fortress once again. It arrived a little after midnight with quiet grace and left traces of its visit the next morning; pure white blanket of snow covering the grounds, imprinted with the occasional footprints, horses’ hooves, and wooden wheels. Billowing smoke rose from the chimneys and the smell of warm hearty broth and scallion pancakes traveled on the crisp air, teasing one’s tastebuds. Winter didn’t discriminate either; its white powder coated everything from the gold-plated rooftops of the Royal Palace to the silver rooftops of Songrim, to the lush garden of Jinyowon, and all the way to the thatched roof huts of Gaema Village. Even Lake Gyeoncheondaeho was frozen in time; the ice dragon guarding the lake fell into a deep slumber as snow dusted its sable scales.
Children ran around squealing with glee as impromptu snowball fights broke out and people flocked to the many snack stalls lining up the main street of Daeho. The winter snack of the year seemed to be the carp bread, judging from its endless line of customers.
That year, winter also visited the Jang household, as the servants opened its heavy wooden doors to sweep the snow off the steps.
The moment the doors creaked open, a young girl appeared from the end of the street and made her way toward the house, hugging something close to her chest. She ran as fast as her short legs would allow her, her breaths turning into icy vapors.
“Hey you over there, where do you think you’re going?” A servant caught up to her as she crossed the threshold.
“Let me go!”
“You have no business being here.”
“The young master, I need to see him!”
As if summoned by her desperate cries, a tall shadow fell over her. She recognised his silhouette against the sun and the white hilt of the long sword he carried. The cursed Full Moon sword. They said he would wither and die if he ever leaves the sword behind, so he always carry it with him.
He dismissed the servant who caught her and soon they were left alone in the courtyard. He took a long look at her as if trying to decide what he should do, before kneeling down to meet her at eye level.
“What is your name, child?” He asked, and she noticed how his eyes turned hazel beneath the sunlight.
“Ara.” She replied, in one breath.
“Ara? That’s a beautiful name..and who is your friend there, Ara?” He motioned to the precious bundle she was holding between her palms.
“This is Fluffy.” She extended her hands, revealing a small crow tit wrapped in a handkerchief. It looked like a puffy cotton ball, its small wings tucked close to its sides, its eyes closed.
“Fluffy?” He laid a finger against the bird’s tiny black beak.
“Why? Is it not a good name?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s just that I had a friend named Fluffy too, once. A dog.”
“Oh.”
“And what do you want me to do with Fluffy here, Ara?”
“I found it in the Dark Forest. I think it fell from its nest. I tried to keep it warm on the way here, but…but it hasn’t been moving for quite a while now.”
“Hmm…”
He held a palm out and she handed the crow tit over to him.
“Do you think Fluffy is dead?”
“Let’s see…its tiny heart is barely beating, but it is still alive.”
“Please save him, young master.” She tugged at the end of his robe and sent him a hopeful look. Please don't let it die.
A while later, the little girl stepped out from the Jang household, her face beaming and hugging her feathered friend close to her chest.
“Ara-yah.” He called after her.
“Yes?”
“Stay away from the Dark Forest—it is too dangerous there.”
She nodded her head vigorously, but before she turned to leave, she plucked the courage to fulfill her curiosity.
“But…is it true? Have you seen it?”
“Seen what?”
“The lost spirit who lives there?”
“A lost spirit lives there?”
“I overheard people talking about it in town. They said the lost spirit helped release a dangerous assassin and many people died because of that, so he was sentenced to spend his remaining days in the Dark Forest.”
“I see…and what do you think about that, Ara?”
“I don't know, but...but maybe he liked her.”
“Hmm?”
“Maybe he liked the assassin—that’s why he helped her.”
A bemused smile spread across his face but he said nothing in return, so she continued.
“It must be so lonely living in the forest by himself—do you think he might have birds like Fluffy to keep him company?”
“…I—I’m not sure, Ara-yah. Maybe he had a pet bird before. Maybe it flew away.”
“Oh. Anyway, thank you for saving Fluffy—I’ll take good care of it.” She bowed and began walking away, wondering why the young master of the house always looked so sad, as if he has lost something he held dear. She knew he lost his parents many years ago, so maybe he lost a good friend this time?
Aaah, maybe he lost his own Fluffy?
"Young master, it is time to wake up."
The door to Jang Uk’s private quarters blasted open, as Maidservant Kim's voice rang in the morning air, shrill and loud like a battle cry. Jang Uk flinched and rolled over on the mattress to face the wall. Damn it, I should have placed a barrier spell blocking the door last night.
"Young master, I know you can hear me—get up now." Her footsteps sounded heavy with determination as she made her way toward him.
She tried to tug the blanket off him, but Jang Uk was quicker, fingers grabbing tight at the edge of the blanket; his final barrier against the cold reality brought by the winter morning. The tug-of-war with the blanket continued for a while before she landed the final blow—a kick at his waist and he yowled in pain, releasing the blanket to rub at his lower back.
“Because your young master has such an understanding heart, I shall forgive you for kicking me—”
That earned him another kick against his buttocks. And one more.
“Maidservant Kim!” He whined against the endless assault.
"It has been two weeks since winter began, young master. Let's go out and get some honey cookies. I just brewed a new pot of tea earlier."
"But I don't feel like going anywhere today. Do you know how much energy I lost fighting those soul shifters last night?"
"Hah, who are you trying to fool? I know the Ice Stone bestowed you with endless energy. Besides, I’m not asking whether you feel like going out or not—you are coming with me and that’s that!"
“Aaahh—won’t you let me be for today? Your young master was hurt in the fight last night, don’t you pity me at all?” He put on his best have-pity-on-me face.
“In case you forgot, that puppy-eyed look of yours stopped working its charm on me a long time ago. Come on, get up you lazybones!”
“But Maidservant Kim--!”
“Young master, would you prefer if I pour the hot tea that I had brewed into a cup or on your face?”
Aghast, he immediately rose into a sitting position. “What kind of lady dare to threaten her young master? I will report you to Lord Park the next time I see him.”
“Go ahead. And oh, excuse me while I run to the kitchen to grab that pot of tea.” She got up to leave and Jang Uk snapped his fingers, stopping her in her tracks.
“Young master Uk! Unfreeze me this instant! How dare you cast a spell on me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never do something like that—”
“I am only going to count until three, young master.”
“Why do you always assume it is my doing?”
“One.”
“It could be anyone else, you know. A binding spell is quite easy to master, any mage can do it with ease.”
“Two.’
“And oh, think about how I feel, will you? You’re always dragging me here and there when I don’t want to and—”
“Two and a half.”
“Arghh, fine, fine! Give me some privacy while I go and change.” He snapped his fingers again and released her from the binding spell.
He forgot how relentless she can be sometimes. Reminded him of someone who used to wake him up to train before dawn many years ago in Danhyanggok.
“Please…” Jang Uk pleaded once again, kneeling in the front yard of Park Jin’s residence.
“Get up and head home, Uk. Maidservant Kim must have been searching the entire Daeho for you by now.” The older man replied.
“I’ve asked for your help countless times—why won’t you do it?”
“And I have given you the same reply each time, Uk. Do not ask me again.”
“Why?”
“…”
“Do you know how I lie awake at night—asking myself the same question over and over again?”
“Uk…”
“Make me forget.”
“Jang Uk!”
“I won’t be able to see her again, I know that. I couldn’t witness her demise, but I believe what Sang-Ho nim and you said about her. She is truly gone. But..but she is here, in my head. It’s like…it’s like she never left.” He looked up at the older guy, his eyes glistening in the dark upon that admission.
“You must let her go—release her from your heart, Uk. For your own good. The reason why you keep thinking of her is that deep inside, you wish she is still alive.”
“Is it awful of me to wish so? It’s not like my wish would come true. You of all people should know that.”
“Uk..”
“You won’t let me take any action against Jin Mu even when we know he was involved in all this. You won’t let me claim my birthright either. You won’t even let me die! What else do you expect me to do?!” He asked, his voice brimming with anger.
“I just want you to be safe, Uk.”
“Make me forget her and I’ll gladly do everything you and the Unanimous Assembly asked of me.”
“I’ve only performed a similar spell a few times in the past, and only to wipe off a certain memory. What you are asking me to do is too risky—you could end up losing all your memories.”
“I’ve told you I don’t mind.” Jang Uk hung his head, like a condemned man waiting for the axe to land against his nape.
Park Jin kneeled beside the tormented young man and placed a hand atop his drooping shoulders that were once proud.
“If the spell goes wrong, you could even end up losing your mind, son.”
“Perhaps I would be better off that way.” Jang Uk rasped, a desperate whisper of plea against the older male’s steel resolve.
Park Jin looked away then and released another sigh; a long and weary one this time. It wasn’t the first time Jang Uk begged him for something so ridiculous as this, but still, it pained him as much to deny his request. Sometimes, he wished he had mastered the Dead Rosemary spell—the dark sorcery that could wipe out an entire person’s memory from its soul. But it is still sorcery, and Park Jin would never resort to dark magic, no matter how badly he wished to heal the broken young man kneeling in front of him.
From somewhere, an owl hooted; forlorn and eerie. He released Jang Uk’s shoulders as the young man crumbled to the ground, a muted scream trapped in his chest along with the Ice Stone, fists digging against the cold earth that has been unkind to him all his life. The same earth that has taken away the person he held most dear.
Park Jin steeled his heart and walked away, knowing that no amount of magic or sorcery left in this world would be able to heal what ailed the young man whom he treasured like his very own.
Still, as Jang Uk began sobbing silently in his front yard, Park Jin muttered a spell and summoned the Ring of Raging Inferno.
This is all I can do for you, for now.
He watched in silence as the wraiths hovering around Jang Uk like birds of prey attempted to break through the protective ring of fire activated around the inconsolable young man. Conjured from the embers of the last Fire Bird, the ring will burn and reduce everything that dares to pass through it to ashes, wraiths and evil spirits included.
Maidservant Kim watched as her young master walked ahead of her, his height easily set him apart from others as he is a head taller than most men. More than two decades have passed, and yet he remained a boy in her eyes. Among her many fears is that one day he would find himself lost, swallowed by the crowd who never realised that while they slept surrounded by warmth, he walked alone in the shadows, patrolling the streets from evil forces that threaten to destroy the temporary peace.
To the rest of Daeho, he is an abomination. Since he returned from death, people avoided him like the plague, even his peers at Songrim who used to train alongside him. He didn’t talk as much now, and his playfulness that always annoyed her before disappeared overnight. How she wished he could return to being the carefree young master that he was, slightly full of himself and grinning cheekily so easily.
Instead, what emerged from the cold ashes three years ago is someone else—a young master who is solemn and distant, someone whom she is still learning to get used to. Despite those differences, he is still as precious as ever to her, and there was nothing she would not do to protect him.
“Maidservant Kim?” He turned around and called for her, realising how far she has fallen behind.
Rubbing her thoughts away, she quickly flashed a smile and ambled towards him. He offered her his left arm and she looped her hand around his arm.
“Young master, have I ever told you how after all these years, you haven’t changed at all?”
“Hmm..I think the entire Daeho would disagree with you on that. But go ahead—humor me. I know you have something to say anyway.”
“Since you were a child, you have always been loud and whiny when you want something. Like a baby bird who cannot wait to fly.”
“Aigoo..are you going to complain about raising a brat now? You indulged me too, you know.”
She pinched his arm and he just laughed it off.
“Alright, alright. I’ll let you finish.”
“But then, there were also times when you grew quiet.”
“Oh? So I wasn’t always such a brat then.” He winked at her, inviting another pinch.
“Oww, owww. At this rate, I’ll end up with bruises when we get home,Maidservant Kim..”
“You can fool everyone else, but you cannot fool me, young master. I know you’re not affected at all with my pinches. I can always tell when you’re in real pain.”
“Oh, can you?”
“…Whenever you’re hurting, you would just go quiet.”
“…”
“I was always worried because you were weaker than other kids since your energy was locked. You would fall sick easily and you often have indigestion if someone said something to upset you. But you never wanted to worry me and would say nothing even when your whole body was burning up with a fever.”
“Why talk about the past? Don’t you know I am probably the strongest man in the world now? You can stop worrying and—" He paused as she took his hand in hers.
“Young master..does it still hurt very much?”
“Maidservant Kim, I’ve told you—”
“I know you don’t like to talk about it, but it pains me as well to see you like this..”
“What are you talking about? I’m fine, see?”
“Yes, you are alive and well, and every day I send a prayer to the skies for keeping you safe…but—but in here, it’s like you are barely alive, young master.” She laid a hand atop his heart that she knew was frozen three years ago.
He didn’t say anything to that, but gently removed her hand from his chest and that was when she knew for sure that she was right.
"Young Master, three winters has visited upon us. Don't you think it is time to put that bird egg of yours back into its nest, where it belongs?"
“…”
“Don’t pretend you cannot hear me.”
“…Maidservant Kim, we have bought everything we need, haven’t we?”
“Oh? Ah, yes. They will deliver all the goods before the end of the day and—”
“Good—you can head home first.”
“Wait, young master, where are you off to now?” She grabbed at his elbow, restraining him from leaving.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back later.” He unlatched himself from her grip and released a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before walking away, letting the shield fall back into place.
Three winters have descended upon Daeho. Three winters that continue to suck the life out of his living shell, for those were three winters without her.
Tilting his head, Jang Uk noticed the branches of the persimmon trees that lined the street bowing under the weight of the snow. Annoyed, he flicked a finger and summoned the wind to sweep the snow from the tree, setting the branches free from their misery.
His eyes followed the snow as it hit the ground—how he wished it could be as easy as that to unload the heavy burden resting upon his shoulders.
He knew what his former masters in the Unanimous Assembly thought of him. After all, he has trained under each of them for a certain period of time when he was powerless. They loathed the fact that the Ice Stone has chosen him as its holder. He, who could not even control energy before and had no right to be in the Unanimous Assembly, now holds unimaginable power.
The kind of power desired by many. But also, the kind of power feared by many.
“Jang Uk...”
“Jang Uk!!”
“Foolish young master! There is no escaping from us for as long as you have the Ice Stone!”
“I thought you wanted to be free from the Ice Stone?"
"Give it to us!”
He ignored them at first. Those damn wraiths!
Most wraiths would not dare enter the Dark Forest, for the sinister energy of the forest is strong enough to deter evil spirits from following him to his hiding place. But those few ones lingering outside the barrier he made were determined enough to haunt him in the forest.
“Didn’t you say you want me? Come and get me then!” He lashed out against their constant badgering, lowering the Ring of Raging Inferno that kept them from reaching him.
“You think we wouldn’t?” They leered at him, as the ring of fire began to dissipate around him.
“Well, what is stopping you now?” He taunted back.
He released his bait and waited for the wraiths to make their move.
A truly skilled individual attacks when their enemy least expects it. Keep that in mind, my pupil.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
He calculated the distance and point of entry for each wraith to attack him. He suspected they would first surround him from all four directions, and the last one would spring up on him from the air the moment the last fire went out. His grip tightened at the hilt of his sword, ready for the incoming fight. Come on, I dare you...
The first wraith wasted no time in attacking him, but Jang Uk managed to duck and unsheathe his sword, throwing the scabbard in the air. He quickly cast the Dead Ringer spell, multiplying himself into four more, and attacked all five wraiths at the same time. It took them a moment to realise what he had just done. They tried to flee from the scene but it was all too late, as he thrust the Full Moon sword deep into their core, twisting the blade in a rotating motion to ensure full damage. Screaming in vain, the wraiths turned into ashes and fell to the ground; black grains of evil plastered upon the snow, like sesame seeds scattered in a bowl of rice.
Waving his doppelgangers away, he wiped a bead of sweat from his temple and laid down against the trunk of a tree. He took out a bamboo gourd and gulped down some liquor to keep the chill away.
Park Jin told him to mourn and to let go.
Maidservant Kim begged him to forget her.
Dang Gu never said a thing and there has been no news from Yul since three autumns ago.
But he heard them anyway.
And they all seemed to agree on one thing though—that he drinks too much.
How could he explain that even the strongest liquor from Chwiseonru did no damage since he is numb to everything? All the liquid did was burn his windpipe; a self-reminder that each time he took a soulshifter’s life, an innocent soul was the collateral damage. The soul locked up in the soul shifter's previous vessel, the one who died as somebody else. That was why he built those stone towers in the Dark Forest—his own atonement. Sure, they were monsters.
But even those monsters were once humans. Humans who lost all their humanity while chasing after power, wealth, and immortality.
Even she was human once.
Upon that thought, he took another long drag of liquor. With the Ice Stone lodged in him, no matter how much he drinks, he could never seem to get drunk anymore. It appeared that being sober all the time was his punishment for acquiring the power possessed by the Ice Stone. He has yet to fully fathom the full extent of possibilities that he now possesses, but he knew he has grown stronger and faster than before, and any wound sustained in a battle would quickly heal by itself.
But still, even with the Ice Stone, he could not return to three years ago and change the course of events. He could not save her, or himself from the tragedy that has befallen them all.
The sunlight chased after him everywhere, but here in the Dark Forest, monsters and men alike preferred to stay away. He liked it better that way, so he spent most of his time there. He felt more at home in the shade of the cypress trees, surrounded by the soul shifters’ graves. Here, nobody went out of their way to avoid crossing paths with him. No one threw him fearful glances as he looked through them, and no one whispered nervously behind his back as he walked away.
Sitting there and downing strong liquor among the dead monsters, he could become human again.
He felt closer to her there too, even if all the conversations he had with her were all in his head.
Put the egg back into its nest? He couldn’t help but chuckle at that question.
How do I do that?
When that bird hatched from the egg that he guarded with his life three winters ago?
When he is now the empty nest resting among the branches, desperately waiting for the storm clouds to arrive and for lightning to strike him off from that tree?
How does he explain to anyone that since three years ago, he wakes up every morning to the reminder that she is long gone? That his whole world is now an endless winter, and that the empty nest is now nothing but brittle straws about to disintegrate at the drop of a snowflake?
How?
to be followed with Every Rose Has Its Thorns