Chapter Text
December 17th
Imagine this
You are in your favourite bookstore, scanning the shelf where your favourite books reside & and there nestled between the familiar spine sits a red notebook
Imagine you’re in New York and its Christmas, You’re surrounded by people, by possibilities and hope that somewhere in the city is that one person that’s meant for you.
You just have to find them. How do you do that? It all depends on the kind of person you are.
**
‘Ah the most detestable time of the year’ Tony thinks walking out the union square subway. He gives an annoyed sigh at the forced cheer, frenzied crowds and the carollers hollering after having too much eggnog and forgetting words.
The ones that irritate him the most are the couples, naïve to mistake holiday spirit for being in love. Tony ponders his past mistake relating to the last complaint, now looking at the happy couple across the street. He doesn’t know who they are but all he sees in a blink of eye is him and… Never again he says to himself, shutting down the memories playing in his head.
He was about to walk away when someone dashed into his side.
“Season’s Greeting” was all he heard, before looking down at his now tinsel covered Peacoat.
“Oh, come on, Tinsel?” he says brushing away a few of them. His phone vibrate in his jeans as picks it out to find new messages.
Mom:
At the airport, sure you’re ok at dad’s?
Read the message. He wished the emoji industry would create an icon to representing one’s feelings about being cast aside by their divorced mother so that she can spend Christmas in Hawaii. He just sent a thumbs up and pocketed his phone. The emoji would have been huge hit in New York, he thought to himself as he turned around looked at the carollers. The lean blond guy, who moments ago dashed into him was decked in Christmas clothes had joined the carollers.
At least someone knows the words. Tony wears a small smile before he drops it and turns away shaking his head. He’s walking towards his only refuge from the holiday hoards when he hears the carolling group now, singing and skipping along the sidewalk, right behind him. Tony walks faster away from them as they were quickly catching up to his speed.
He had lost the group as he nears his favourite place, Sheild Bookstore. Unlike other bookstore that think they need to host cookie making class to sell Proust, Shield doesn’t have anything other than meagre holiday decorations and ever grumpy clerk, Maria Hill, at the information desk.
“Hey” Tony catches Maria’s attention and continues before her answer.
“This was mis-shelved” he holds up the book Gabriel Garcia Marquez. “Gabriel Garcia Marquez should be under Garcia, not M for Marquez and also this is Biography. It’s not fiction. So…” he says handing the book to Maria.
“Thanks” Maria flips at the book with a slight smile in her ever-present frown and gives him a onceover.
“Hey kid, If you ever wanna work here” Maria starts to say. Tony beams at that not anticipating what’s coming next.
“I’ll remember this” her smile drops to more deeper frown than before. Tony’s smile falls and walks away, sighing and shaking his head. Brushing through the lines of books on the shelves, Tony notices a red moleskin, oddly misplaces again in the section.
He takes it out with a frustrated sigh and walks to the grumpy clerk again. “Hey this was also in the wrong section, so…”
Maria ignores him and turns around with telephone receiver, dial tone ringing clearly to Tony. He’s about to drop the book on the near by display table when the words on the cover catches his eyes.
Do you dare…?
Intrigued by the question, Tony opens the moleskin. A couple of empty pages later, A cursive handwriting captivates him,
I’ve left some clues for you
If you want them, turn the page.
If you don’t, Put the book back on the shelf.
It reads. Huh Tony thinks to himself and looks around for the Moleskin’s owner. Turning for the clue, Tony walks further between the stacks of books, focused on the moleskin in hand. The handwriting continues, grabbing his attention,
So, you’ve chosen to play
A revealing Choice.
Shall we begin?
It says. He flips the page to find 8 dashes and more message below.
_______ _________ _________
_______ _________ _________
_______ ________
A coded message. You can decipher it with the right books.
But only if you can find them.
Your first clue requires some heavy reading.
Look for French Pianism.
Charles Timbrell’s your man.
88/7/2
88/4/8
Do not turn the page
until you fill in the blanks
“What the hell is French Pianism?” Tony mutters to himself, taking out his phone to google it. The next line, however, stops his search even before he begins.
Oh, and if you need to use your phone, Don’t bother playing.
It reads, making him chuckle. Only one way to find out now he thinks and walks back.
“French Pianism” he asks Maria, whose engrossed on the store computer.
“I’m not telling you anything.” She says without looking up.
“But this is the information desk.” Tony sputter “Are you not obligated to like give me some information?” Maria completely ignores his rant, still focused on the computer.
“Look” Tony sighs. “If this is about earlier, I…apologize. I know you’d never mis-shelve a book” Keyboard clack continues, ignoring him once again.
“I don’t understand. Did I wrong you some how? Did I buy you a James Patterson Book for Christmas or something? Or are you just taking pleasure from my suffering?” at that Maria looks up and gives him a judgemental look.
Unaware of the reaction, Tony continues, “Could you at least tell me the section-”
“I’m not allowed” Maria Interrupts him. “I promised him I wouldn’t discuss anything related to that.” She gives a pointed look at the Moleskin. “But since you asked, there’s a little pleasure.” She smirks a little, looking back the screen.
Something clicks in him, even with that frustrating answer. “You said ‘him’” he questions.
“No, I didn’t.” Maria denies immediately, not looking up.
“Yes, you did. You said “Him.” He’s a He, and he is testing my knowledge of the Shield.” Tony drawls at a Maria now pouting and avoiding his eye.
“Thank you for you help” Tony jumps and walks away from the desk, a renewed enthusiasm in finding the ‘He’.
“I didn’t help you” Maria says to no one, as Tony’s is halfway into the bookstore looking for the first clue.
Okay Clue Guy Tony muses If this is how he wants to play, Tony’s all game. Striding past the History and biography section, Tony’s eyes search for a lead. Though Tony had never heard of French Pianism, he was pretty familiar with Sheild Bookstore’s sections than his own family home. He decides the best place to start- Music section. Tony climbed the stairs 2 at a time to second floor of the store, scoffing at Clue Guy’s misconception of him. Did he think Tony was some numbskull? Give me some credit he thought as he skimmed through the music section.
He couldn’t find anything that was related to Piano until he looked up to a heavy book on top shelf, a faint Charles Timbrell showing. Heavy reading huh he smiled climbing up and dropping the heavy blue book, embossed in gold patterns down before climbing down.
French Pianism: An Historical Perspective, Charles Timbrell,
Foreword by Gaby Casadesus.
The book reads. Tony cheers as he reads the clue again.
88/7/2
88/4/8
A code? At first look the numbers looked like dates. But when he couldn’t find any references to year 1988, it connected. Page number! Mentalt face slapping himself, Tony got to the 88th page 7th line, 2nd word and then 4th line, 8th word.
ARE YOU
“Am I what?” asking out loud, Tony noted those words to dashes on the page. Turning the page Tony found the remaining or second part of the first clue.
Okay. No cheating.
What bugged you about the cover of this book
(besides the lack of art)?
Think about it, then turn the page.
Well, it should have been ‘A Historical’ instead of ‘An Historical’ as ‘H’ here was silent. That bugged him. He smiled when he saw his thought reflecting on the next page.
If you said it was the misbegotten phrase
“An Historical,”
please continue.
If not, please put this journal
back on its shelf
Tony shook his head in disbelief and turned the page for the next clue.
Let’s make this harder
- Fat Hoochie Prom Queen
64/4/9
119/3/8
I was harder to find without the author name this clue. I didn’t sound nonfiction, so he looked into literature moving to Young adult fiction. He hand an inkling that it was Pink, which was proven right when he spotted the book.
Fat Hoochie Prom Queen
Book by Nico Medina
It read as he turned to 64th and 119th page for lines 4, 3 and words 9,8.
GOING TO
The search was shaping to a very interesting game now, as Tony walked around Shield deciphering the Clue Guy’s puzzle. He turned to the next page and found the 2nd part of the 2nd clue,
Very resourceful.
Now that you’ve found this in the teen section,
I must ask you:
Are you a teenage boy?
If yes, please turn the page.
If no, please return this to where you found it.
Sixteen and provided with required package, Tony jumped to the 3rd clue.
- Your next Book isn’t a Christmas Story,
But Santa does Show up to hand Out Weapons.
58/10/12
Hah! He knew that one. Browsing through the Children’s section, Tony found the one book with the 4th clue.
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
C.S.Lewis
As he was laughing at the scene shown in book and marking down his next dash,
BE
Tony once again struck by familiarity in the next part of the clue,
Now, presuming you read this as a child,
What bothered you about this scene?
Why is Jolly St. Nick handing a knife to an eight-year-old? Tony giggled at his own joke and turned to next page. Well Clue guy already knew that too.
If you said Santa Claus arming an eight-year-old,
This can go on.
Now fully invested, chuckling, anticipating Tony was sure he could figure out the next clue.
- The Joy of Gay Sex
(third edition!)
The next clue, shocked Tony. Don’t get him wrong, the book is not the problem here. The problem wasn’t that he knew exactly where and how to find it. The problem was so far from that. Tony had seen the Red notebook game as a battle of wits and for the first time, he figured there might be a romantic notion to it.
Tony looked to the now familiar section Sex and sexuality. It only feels like days, but it’s been a while since he came out as Bi. He remembered scouring this section for the answers now he has. The question now he had was about the Clue Guy. Tony was marking the answer to the 3rd clue when a familiar voice called him.
“Tony?” he looked up to find Justin. Justin Hammer, Gossip Guy of school, saw him marking something on Joys of Gay sex. Great!
“Justin. Hey!” Tony said in flat voice, with all his enthusiasm.
“I didn’t know you were in town?” He queried. How would he know? There weren’t friends.
“No one’s in Town” he continued, unaffected by his awkward stance. “Everyone’s off in Bora Bora…
Yeah yeah, he was “part of the social circle” when he dated his best friend. He remembered all those half asleep, barley conscious parties and outings. Now Justin hammer was his ex-girlfriend’s Best friend. That’s all.
Tony noticed Justin had droned on while he was zoned out and was talking about getting presents for…
“- That’s why I’m here. I’m tryna find a present for my little sister and she’s like super into fantasy.” Justin said.
Oh sister! Maya! He knew Maya! “Yeah, I remember, at your party last year, she challenged me to a duel.” he smiled at that memory.
“About this year, um…I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t invite you. I just… I thought it would be weird, you know, but since you’re in town you should totally still come, It’s on Christmas eve.” he grinned.
Tony was perplexed. Why would it be weird now? He wouldn’t want to go to the party anyway. “Thanks, but my dad’s taking me to Sokovia tomorrow.” Tony threw a fake smile and aw shucks look.
“Sokovia?”
“Yeah, it’s supposed to be really beautiful in December. All those long nights.” Justin nodded, but his eyes were fixed on him like a hawk trying to find a sore spot to prey on. “Right” he smiled and continued, “Well that’s too bad.” He had a satisfied look. Sore spot, spotted! “Rumiko’s coming” he smiled more, trying to gauge a reaction from him.
It was working too. Just a name had Tony’s shoulder and smile dropping. “Rumiko’s back?” he asked, trying not to show is hurt in his voice.
“Yeah, just for the holidays” Justin said, now focused on the book in his hand. His gaze jumped from the book title to Tony.
“Anything she should, uh, know?” bastard Tony thought as Hammer raised an eyebrow with the question.
“Tell her I’m trying new things” Tony snapped and by the way Hammer agreed too soon, he could say he understood Tony’s foul mood. Ugh, damn it. Justin was not the one he is mad at.
“Hey, wait, Justin, um…here. For your sister.” He handed The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to him. “I have a feeling she’d like it. It’s fantasy for kids with weapons.” He sighed.
"Merry Christmas” Justin perked up and walked away, leaving Tony to continue with the red moleskin he discovered that evening.
The fact that you are willing to stand there
in the Strand with The Joy of Gay Sex
bodes well for our future.
Once again, a smile returned to Tony’s face. He was not going to deny that he at least a little nervous for this part.
However, a few rules,
If you have no use for the book in your hand,
I’m afraid we have to end this here
This boy can only go boy-boy,
so, if you’re into
boy-girl or anything else I don’t see
where I’d fit into the picture.
Tony’s breathe caught at that. This brilliant guy…
And finally… If you’ve made this far, you’re obviously clever,
But I wanna know…
A white paper fell from the page of the red notebook. Tony picked it up and read the rest,
Are you brave?
There was a final dare… It was weirdly charming. Tony walked up to the open mike in Shield and tapped to get everyone’s attention. He was… okay at public speaking. Tony’s strength lay in math, engineering, and books. He could gladly lock himself to work on his personal projects or a good fiction. He knew what to say to who and when but reading a poetry front of strangers. Tony’s about to find out how that’s gonna go.
“Hello” a few eyes looked up at him in question. “um, sorry to interrupt your browsing, um, but I have been asked to share a dramatic reading.” Okay Clue Guy, I’m ready for this.
“And apologies to Joni Mitchell” Tony said and started reading the lyrics from the sheet.
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
Did the guy think this would scare him off? But here’s the thing. Behind all the rich friends and party boy, Tony was different. He loved this song. If clue guy chose this song, it means he like it too, right? Was he here? Tony could see Justin looking at him and texting something. Would the Clue Guy turn up to see if Tony was brave enough to do this?
Oh, I wish I had a river
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
It's coming on Christmas
Just as he was about to finish it, a static came through and the mic went off. Tony turned around to see Maria, unplugging the mic from it’s socket.
“Whoa! Hey, Hey.”
“-I’m putting you out of your misery” Maria threw away the plug with same bored expression.
“What are you doing? It’s not the end of the song.” Tony huffed.
“Got what you needed” she simply said at Tony’s dumb found expression. “The last two words of the message? You just said them.” She said walking away as Tony finished the Puzzle.
ARE YOU GOING TO BE LONELY ON CHRISTMAS?
So here we are. What happens next is up to you. Leave me a message telling me how this time of year makes you feel. If I like your answer, you just might hear from me. If you’re not scared.
God who was this guy? Tony pondered and knew there is one way to find out. Maria started at him as he walked up to her to the desk.
“Who is he?”
“Even if I could tell you, I wouldn’t. You have to put that back so someone else can play.” She said. Ha! Put it back.
Tony walked away without a word, ignoring Maria calling him. I am not scared Clue Guy. I’m Hooked.
Tony was do hooked that he read through the Moleskin thrice on the subway while being smashed by a Christmas tree. Tony had to stop by Lucky’s pizza before going to his dad’s place. Clint saw him from the counter rushed to the front.
“Dude! You’re going to Sweden, and you didn’t tell me?”
“How’d you…?” Tony sighed “Oh Justin”
“Yeah. She texted me and said you were acting weird. Like even for you.” Clint walked out of the counter.
“I’m not going to Sweden. I’m just trying to avoid seeing anyone over the break.”
“What even me?” Clint squawked
“No, man. Need you for the pizza”
“Oh Great” Clint walked back laughing. Knowing what Clint’s Sister, Natasha has bought for him, Tony asked.
“So, what’s the Barton Clan doing for Christmas?”
Clint told him all about his aunt working in food network and weird looking food on TV. After Clint’s minor freakout not knowing Kate's gift, he got back to work. Tony on the other hand took out the moleskin and started reading through it again.
When Clint noticed that Tony showed him the notebook and asked if he had recognized the handwriting. Clint thought the cursive handwriting was a girl. But Tony knew, he saw the way Maria talked about the Notebook and the guy. So, Maria knew who the guy was. It has to be.
Tony told him all about the clues and treasure hunt he had this evening and about the Guy. That’s when Clint started acting like a 3rd grader. “Oooh, You like her” Clint said, waving his pizza cutter.
“I don’t even know her” Tony exclaimed
“That’s Why it’s weirder. You’ve never talked about a girl like this since…” Clint waved his hand around in an awkward gesture.
“Clint, she’s not Voldemort. You could say her name”
“Actually, you’re suppose to say Voldemort’s name. It takes away his power”
“Okay, you know what” Tony walked to the CD cases on the side of the store. “I don’t even know her. I just want to figure out who she is” he sighed.
“Okay then we set a sting operation, You send her a message to order her a pizza from Lucky’s and when she calls and tells her name BOOM, we got it” Clint looks so proud of himself to come up with this plan.
“I’ll consider that” Tony says without pointing out the obvious. After getting one of the depressing French films and Pizza, Tony goes back to his dad’s apartment only to be assaulted by the alarms being engaged.
He had to call his dad and find out change passcode to stop the alarm. Howard is suspicious at first, asking if he didn’t go with his Maria. Tony lies he is with her just needed to make sure he knew it. His dad teases him about brining in ladies but leaves him be.
Tony pours in a glass of brandy he promised not to touch to his dad, with the pizza and movie. Howard and maria hadn’t been talking to each other, it’s been 8 years since they talked and divorced. Now Maria thinks Tony’s spending Holiday with Howard and Howard thinks Tony’s spending Holiday with Maria. Tony’s classmates thinks he’s in Sweden. This is his Christmas gift to himself. Solitude.
It's all 1 minute before Tony dumps the Christmas decoration on the table and starts the movie. What did he expect? It was a depressing French movie. Of course, he’s gonna be depressed watching it.
4 months ago
“What are you thinking about?” Rumiko asks nuzzling into him.
“The word… ‘Bedding’” he says and laughs along with her.
“You American boys are stupid at pillow talk”
“No here me out” he says and explains how Bedding as a noun is not sexy at all but as a verb it is sexy.
Tony never anticipated the next word out of Rumiko. “I going to miss you” she says as leans into kiss her.
“I’m not going anywhere” he says before connecting the dots. “Wait. Are you?”
“My dad got a new business” she says. He doesn’t hear much after that. She says Brazil and ‘this was never going to work forever’ she says. Before he could say something, Justin busts into the room ruining everything.
Now here’s Tony, pathetically crying watching a depressing murder French movie, with pizza and brandy during Christmas. When he couldn’t control it, Tony switch offs the movie and swallows everything. He will not cry! The red moleskin draws him, so he picks it up and starts to write.
You asked me how this time of the year makes me feel. I suspect you’re a kindred spirit, so I know you’ll understand when I say,
It’s the most detestable time of the year.
**
December 18th
At Shield’s, Maria sees the red moleskin in its place while stocking the books and smirks. At Lucky’s, Clint is jumping for the sting operation planned, even though Tony says it’s not a sting operation. The plan was simple, the clues left by Tony will lead the Clue Guy to the CD case in front of the store. All Clint had to do was to keep an eye on it.
Clint almost misses the Clue Guy in lunch hour rush as all he sees is someone leaving the CD case without ordering. Turns out he actually missed Clue Guy. Tony was not happy. All Clint’s excuses are about lunch hour rush and no security cameras in the shop. By the end of it though Clint says the guy left a message for him in the Red Notebook. Tony picks it up eagerly, only to his stomach sink at the message.
Nice try. You sent me into a Trap. I’m flattered Mystery boy,
But I’m not so easy to catch.
If you wanna know more about me, you’ll have to do with the book
And if you want my name, you’ll have to earn it,
With a dare…
**
Tony and Clint stand outside the Macy’s that evening. The dare was to take the hat from Macy’s Santa Claus actor. Before Christmas. Into Macy’s. Both the Boys sigh just at the sight of the rush from outside.
“Maybe this is bad idea. I mean, you don’t even know this guy” Clint says. “He could be totally different than what you think”
“No, that’s the thing Boomer. I do know him. When I read his words, it’s like I could hear his voice. He’s sarcastic, sophisticated, sadistic.” Tony lists.
“Sadistic?” Clint looks at him.
“She’s sending me int a departmental store right before Christmas. Clearly her sadism knows no bounds.” Tony grumbles walking to the entrance.
There inside a huge cute awaits to meet the man of the hour, while Tony and Clint stands back and watches him. “All I’m saying is” Clint sighs finally “Just be nice to Santa. Please”
“Yep” Tony says and walks forward. Minutes later there’s a commotion and screaming, followed by Tony breaking a fake snowman and Christmas tree. Both security guard and an elf actor forcibly escort them out telling them to stay away from Santa land.
After cursing North pole to be destroyed by Global warming, Tony slips the Santa Hat he stole from the actor and tries to find a note inside it.
He did the Clue guy’s dare costing his dignity, only to come up with nothing. “What No, What? Come on. What did I do wrong? I did everything you asked, and I still don’t know your…”
That’s when Tony sees it, etched in Gold in the outer folds of the hat there’s a name.
STEVE
His name is Steve
**
December 17th
“Steve, Steve thank god you here” says Mrs Barnes from her Stall.
“Is it bad?” Steve asks, arranging the tinsels in in hand.
“Without you they are terrible” says one of the other shop keepers.
In hurry, Steve crashes into someone, “Season greetings” he says and joins the carolling group.
“Oh, Steve were saved” says Roberta
“Sorry I’m late I was looking for these” says Steve handing out the Tinsels.
“We drank all the eggnogs” says the other member. Steve passes on the tinsels and takes his position with the carolling group now all following his lead.
As he looks around, he catches the eye of the Boy he crashed into. Huh
At least someone knows the words.