Chapter Text
Sight has been the one constant, blurs of color and form and movement she is tasked to track, observe, replay on demand no matter how she'd rather not. Sight is overwhelming most of the time and she craves the calm dark of night where everything is muted, muffled, softer and easier to process. But sometimes sight is okay, isn't so bad because it's mostly dark where they're sitting (or Peridot sits and Lapis is half-sprawled over her lap), and Lapis kind of likes the way the glowsticks look. Likes how there's only a spark of color when she snaps them and then they brighten with each shake and it's bright but not bright.
She likes how it looks on Peridot, too. Because she loves green now and the green sticks are pretty (and go so nicely against blue), but her favorite color is still purple and purple is really pretty against green.
It's also fun to just watch Peridot because she's such a nerd, is she even aware of it? The way she doesn't think twice before just biting down with those weird fangs of hers (and Lapis thinks again to ask why she ever chose them, but that'll have to happen later) and shreds the top of the tube and Lapis' hand moves just so to avoid getting bit and the contents spill all over the both of them.
Purple looks lovely dripping over blue too, down her fingers and speckling her arm some, spots that glow and glitter like stars she doesn't quite fear any more. And it feels kind of nice too, the way water feels and Lapis can feel that pull against her form that water has too, but she doesn't really need that right now because she is so so aware of so much and it's wonderful and leaves her kind of out of it, but it's not bad. And Peridot seems to be in that daze too, her eyes half closed as she gnaws the plastic tube. Doesn't even notice when Lapis reaches up, tracing glowing patterns on the visor, tiny hearts and a drop like her gem because
... well she had a reason for a second there, but it's gone and she doesn't care enough to pull it back, because does she need a reason?
She snaps another stick and holds it up and watches, enjoying the calm. Even if it's a weird calm because here she is curled against a Gem she hated at first, who had to bear the brunt of her (somewhat but not totally unfounded) rage and blame and then... things had be
rough.
But Lapis pushes those thoughts away because they're overwhelming and now is also overwhelming but good overwhelming and she prefers to lose herself to this rather than that. Lose herself in the subtle glow dotting Peridot's face and the very not subtle glow dripping down her chin and lining her teeth and the bright violet spots over her own hands and it's amazing to see how comfortable they are, how nice this is. To just.
Be.
Wherever they are (where are they are they in Peridot's weird cave? She thinks so, maybe).
Lapis looks again at Peridot, green all smeared with purple looking so content and sweet and it's a wave pulling her down so deep and a swirl so bright it leaves her mind blank but for the thought of pulling the glowstick away even as Peridot still gnaws at it.
Peridot pauses, mouth still half open and she looks a little indignant at what Lapis just did.
Or is it because she's staring?
"What?" Peridot asks and yep it's the staring.
You look disgusting.
It's kind of pretty.
You're drooling I thought you had some dignity.
You're glowing.
It's so cute.
You're so gross.
I'm pretty gross too right now.
But you're so happy and you're covered in my favorite color.
I kinda like it.
Words are easy and then they're hard.
So it's better to just abandon words altogether and that's what Lapis does, winding her arms around Peridot's shoulders and pulling her down and kissing the other gem because words suck and she's feeling too too much and needs to do something and
wow.
Wow.
Wow because Lapis isn't used to touch and this is too much too much that makes her thoughts rush and freeze because touch is rare and only when necessary, not like.
This.
Is nice.
And a bit of an overload because it's everything at once.
She opens her eyes for a moment to meet Peridot's, huge and shining even aside from the glow that's smeared over the both of them now.
She hears Peridot's breath hitch and she does that cute surprised squeak she always does when she's surprised.
And she tastes like too many chemicals and too much candy, weird but sweet and it really fits.
The smell is still weird though but Lapis thinks she's getting used to it. At least, it's a smell that means contentment and calm and companionship and that's good enough.
And the feeling
Touch is something to fear because touch means cracked gems chipped gems and pain-suffering-fear
but now touch means everything and is everything. Because touch is contact and proof that she is here alive and whole and they're free to do things like this, things like feel and
"L... Lapis?"
"Yeah?" Peridot's voice is so close (and so shaking) but her own is so so very far away.
Peridot is blushing so hard.
And Lapis catches her reflection in the visor, half obscured by smeared still-glowing hearts and an outline like her gem
Her eyes are shining, her own face is flushed so blue, and her grin is glowing just as bright as Peridot's.
But she doesn't see it for long before she's pulled into a tight embrace, fingers against her gem and there's a slight shock of liquid there too and she can only imagine the prints that must be there now.
But for now she lets herself be and enjoy it, something she's been denied (and denied herself) for far, far too long.