Chapter Text
Notice the stars.
It’s harder to see them here, mired under layers of cloud, the light of a full moon and the atmosphere in general, but she can pick out plenty. Twinkling brightly in the corner of her vision is a world she doesn’t know by name, but she can recall every detail of how it was conquered. Or at least, how Jasper said it was conquered– more and more, she’s starting to wonder how much truth has ever been in what she’s heard. A little closer is a world she was stationed on for a short time, overseeing the disastrous Kindergarten attempt there. Thankfully, she was pulled from it before she fell into any real danger.
Peridot sighs as a dim pinprick catches her eye. Barely visible, it’s only her visor’s aid that lets her know it’s there at all. But she knows the coordinates, could recite them in her sleep (if she slept, that is). That dot is home–
No, she corrects herself. Was home, but now it– any Gem-controlled planet– is nothing but death. Panic rises in her chest as she imagines herself there; her fingers clench into the sand and she remembers: pay attention to where she is now. Not where she has been before, not where she fears she might be.
Notice the sand slipping between her fingers, some grains pooling in the dents her teeth have left over the years. Notice the moonlight glittering over the ocean, calm with only small waves meeting the shore. Notice the faint rumble of a car in the distance, the call of seabirds still awake, the wind.
Notice a new sound– footsteps on the sand. Too light for Amethyst, too quick for Garnet, too soft for Pearl, too slow for Steven, too few for that… beast; leaves only one option.
“Lapis,” Peridot says, turning her head just enough to see Lapis Lazuli sit beside her. Or rather, just behind her.
The other Gem nods in reply, resting her chin on her knees and wrapping her arms around her legs.
Peridot doesn’t mind– indeed, she rather enjoys Lapis’ company most because she is so accepting of silence. It hadn’t always been this way, there had been significant… conflict, at first. Accusations of treason, weakness, disgrace and more than she wanted to remember, but things had been calmer for some time now. Almost friendly. If nothing else, they’d found they disliked each other least of their new… companions (save Steven of course).
Peridot glances back again, catching Lapis’ eye for just a moment before the other Gem looks at the sky again, her eyes trained on the same spot Peridot’s were just a few moments ago (notice the way her brows knit, her hands clutch, how she seems ready to rise up and fly away).
”It never goes away, does it?” Peridot says, before she can stop herself.
Lapis shakes her head, silent for a few more moments. When she does speak, Peridot strains to catch the words.
“I wish I’d never tried going back.”
“You’d have rather stayed here?”
Lapis nods, curling closer to herself. “It was hard enough in the mirror,” she says. “Having to replay what I remembered, but… I always thought it…” She pauses, looks up– notice how lost she is for just a moment, before the words come again.
“I knew it would be different, but I never thought it would be like that,” she says. “There wasn’t… anything. And the Authority w… they were always harsh but what they’ve been doing now…”
“Was it really that different?”
Their eyes meet again, Peridot’s question catching them both off guard.
“They were more lenient,” Lapis says, shrugging one shoulder. “Difference wasn’t so… wrong. It…” She frowns, rising to her feet and pacing, not even noticing as she steps onto the water. “It was more… a place could be found for every Gem, even if she didn’t quite fit her initial purpose,” she says. “They still had to serve, there were still consequences if you deliberately disobeyed, but…”
Peridot can’t hold back a derisive snort, shaking her head. “I would be a rule rather than the exception?” she asks, digging her fingers into the sand again.
Lapis nods, unwilling to meet Peridot’s gaze (notice how her hands never remain still, her fingers flexing, push and pull the water– is that how she calms herself?).
“Incredible,” is all Peridot can say, shaking her head again. “And you’re sure this is the Authority you’re talking about?”
She is surprised to see Lapis smile– small and sad, but still. “Positive,” she says, idly pulling the water up into the shape of a tower, small icy stairs running along its sides. Peridot squints, moving in for a closer look as Lapis speaks again.
“It was before we knew what I could do here, I was just her messenger,” the blue Gem says, casually conjuring tiny figures at the top of the tower– one unmistakable as herself, another taller, sharper, bearing the unmistakable profile of–
“Blue Diamond didn’t want to fight, really. She just wanted to leave this planet and keep the rebellion from growing out of control. And there were some… they were still loyal, but wondered if the rebels had a point, if we shouldn’t just let all Gems be. ‘Maybe’, she’d said, ‘but see how many have become corrupt? How they have no qualms keeping our fallen from regenerating, locking them into their gems for how long? They would bury shards to linger for eternity rather than let them be remade…”
She continues the speech, letting the small tower fall before pulling a larger version from the sea– the Lunar Sea Spire, Peridot recognizes it from what precious little information she had been given about this planet when first assigned to it–
”This was the one good thing about the Earth,” Lapis says, wistful… but not altogether sad. She continues, naming off the Gems she’d served, the places she’d gone and Peridot tries to pay attention, tells herself again and again to notice the names, events, times; but instead…
Notice how Lapis flows like the water she manipulates, not a hint of hesitation, nor rigidity to be found. How she’s not walking so much as dancing almost, casually ducking to avoid an icy sword that cleaves a soldier construct in two. Notice her skin, moonlight filtering through her wings as she takes to the air for but a moment, through her constructs and dappling the blue with pastel rainbow hues. Notice the passion in her form, in her voice and eyes (and memories flood in now that the connection is made, how many times had it been bubbling below the surface and she’d never caught it before?); how had she ever thought Lapis as weak, as insignificant? The answer of course being because that was all she had been introduced as; just a lucky prisoner who managed to escape some abandoned planet. Never mind that she's as old as the most respected soldiers, likely more powerful, too; Lapis was meant to just be a prisoner, an informant, not…
Notice herself now, Peridot thinks. The tension building in her chest, leaving her shaking, speechless as she realizes these feelings as respect, as admiration, affection even.
Notice that the other gem speaks, and she doesn’t hear a single word.
The constructs fall without so much as a ripple, gentle waves lap at the shore.
Notice how there is only a silence, terrible and heavy. How worried she seems, reaching out, saying her name, saying more but Peridot cannot bring herself to reply.
Notice how her reaction, as it always is, is to turn and run.