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It's been over two weeks since you had last seen Connor or Hank. Ever since the android revolution was over, all the stress and boiling emotions crashed upon you at once, causing your sudden absence from the police force to which Neither Connor nor Hank had no understanding or even knowledge from your understanding. The first day gone, you'd gotten a few calls here and there, but you either declined, or simply just ignored them.
You wondered why nobody came to your apartment, why nobody came to possibly "save" you from yourself. But how could they? they had little clue of what was actually going on under the thick layers of your skin and the amazing face you put on each morning. You wore it like a face mask with needles attached, trying to act normal but every few days, something slipped and eventually, you couldn't take it anymore and just left the police department. You remembered that day, you remembered Connor following you with his eyes as you stormed out the building, seeming confused at the time.
That day you thought was awful-
but today was worse. Laying in your bed all day, you couldn't even muster up the strength to use the bathroom, make yourself a snack or even drink anything except for the bottle of Bourbon on your nightstand. You didn't feel drunk, though you probably built a strong alcohol tolerance over the last few weeks. You were about to turn around and try to drift off into slumber when your phone rang. Ignoring it, you covered your ears with a pillow on the ground, trying your hardest to fall asleep. The ringing stopped, just to pick up again. This continued for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was probably 5 minutes. Whoever was calling, really wanted to talk to you.
"fucking hell-"
You mumbled, mustering the strength to grab in from across the floor. The called ID was that of a former friend of yours, after all these years- they decide to reach out now? You wanted nothing to do with them- they had betrayed you in the worst way possible and now, years later they reach out? how fucking dare they!
"what"
You said coldly, just wanting to end the call and get back under the hot covers.
"hey hey, just thought i'd catch up on you, listen i'm really so-"
Before they could finish their apparent apology, you cut them off, taking a deep breath- ready to unleash your fury upon them.
"listen here you little shit, you know what you did! b-back them i wanted to fucking kill myself because of you! you ruined my life until i left that stupid town! you abused my trust, bitch"
"right, i was going to apologize, but now i wish your attempt had been successful, i wanted to mend out friendship/relationship, thank you again for nothing and d-"
You having enough, just threw your phone against the wall, breaking on impact. You were officially done, these last few months just were just awful- your emotions stacking and stacking and finally, it reached a breaking point... with that critically damaging something within you. You sat there on your bed, staring at the wall and thinking, thinking of- everything really. Everything tat had happened lately, and numerous times, your mind drifted off to Connor- how he was doing, his deviancy, his work, how much he cares for you-
You truly didn't believe he cared for you, or hank, or anyone- you felt alone, hopeless, as if the entire world was out to get you. They all pretended to care, but really they didn't. This was something you told yourself every day, and it was proven by them not coming to help you, to check on you.
{{TW!!! SH below!}}
After a moment of thought, your attention was towards the bathroom cabinet under the sink, specifically a little grey box with something you'd told yourself you would use ever again. Your hands were trembling tremendously as you grasped the small box containing your temporary yet toxic relief you were seeking.
first one, then two, three, four, five- you couldn't seem to stop.
after one final drag of the blade against your wrist, you dropped said blade to the ground, realizing what you had done and how bad- deep- painful it was. But this is what you wanted and craved. turning the faucet on to wash some of the blood from your injuries, you thought you heard something from the living room. Pulling down your sleeves to cover the wounds, you slowly made your way to your messy, small living room.
"there you are!"
the sudden noise scared you, ut you quickly realized that it was... Connor???
"I- was worried, so I came here to check up on you, not on behalf of anyone but- myself i suppose"
He said with a cheeky grin. God, something about this man was just- he just made your heart flutter. You acknowledged what he said by nodding, trying your hardest to form a smile.
"you- you seem out of it- are you alright? Do you need to talk? A massage? c-can i help you? do you need relief?"
"relief?"
You mumbled, trying to seem flattered which, you were. But it wasn't easy to express outward.
"well- maybe a good laugh or an orga-"
"no- no thanks"
You weren't going to let the android finish that. Yes you had been sexually active with him multiple times, and it wasn't his fault for being so direct... Even after deviancy, he's still full of programming.
"i- i have to go get something quickly, you can wait here"
Connor smiled, his adorable eyes lighting up as he nodded. You turned towards your bedroom across the hall, you weren't really going to grab anything, just find a way to cover up the wounds. However- as you turned to walk away, a drop of some liquid fell to the ground. It was dark, so connor couldn't simply see what it was. He swiped his finger across the little drop, before holding it against his tongue for analysis.
You removed your black sweater which did a great job at preventing visible stains from occuring. Rumaging through your closet for something else, you didn't hear the door behind you open, but you did hear the artificial gasp. yes, you heard it- and when you did, your heart sank.
"w-wh"
You turned to directly face Connor, his normally bright adorable eyes, wide- tears beginning to form as he cast his gaze upon your wounds. This broke you, you let our a loud cry in anguish, tears pouring down your cheeks. Quickly, Connor pulled you in, wrapping his arms around you so he could hold you as tight as he possibly could without harming you.
"w-why?"
He whispered, one of his large hands coming to gently pat your scalp trying is best to comfort you.
"i-i don't know..."
He the let you go, and guided you to sit on he bed. He lifted your arm covered in blood, he glanced at you for consent, and you nodded. He ran his thumbs across some of the superficial cuts, and around the deeper ones. His strength gave out, tears slowly prickling from his hazel eyes.
"from what i can tell, youre lucky- none need stitches, but you did come close-"
You nodded, feeling guilty for making the man you loved cry, feel worried- maybe even making him feel guilty- you werent sure. His eyes locked with yours again as he still held your wrist
"p-promise you won't do this again, please. I'm sorry i didn't come sooner- i.. i should've known better"
"no Connor, it's not your fault please, don't think that- i'm so sorry it was just- just too much for me- i was just overwhelmed with everything and- i'm sorry"
Connor ran his thumb over your knuckles, his facial expression showing that he was deep in thought
"if you need companion, a partner, someone to talk to- i'm here. always. because- i love you"
This actually made you smile, this time for real- no faking of facades. Just a pure smile of comfort. Shifting closer to him, you rested your head on his shoulder before glacing up to capture his lips with your own.