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Portal Potion: Apathy

Summary:

Another wish fulfillment story of mine, where I call forth my original character Akiko to comfort me.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

 

 

 

It's been gray weather for a week straight. Since it was wintertime, the long nights only added to the feeling of time standing still. Kelsey despised winter more then any other time of the year. She didn't get to go outside. They overheated the building and, of course, the offset of time. She was bored most of the time. She'd reread some of her favorite fanfics only found on FF.

However, the trolling she endured kept growing lately. She'd received several troll reviews calling her a racist since she didn't write Tiana for her Princess and the Frog stories black enough. In addition, Kelsey had no companions in the real world. Therefore, she had no means to socialize and didn't generally get out much. Also, she didn't know anyone black personally.

More to the point, her Grammarly was programmed for perfect English. It didn't tolerate slang at all. Also, she tried to write in a simple, straightforward style like Mark Twain's Rules of Good Writing stated to do. Still, she felt down and desired to talk to someone. So, employing the portal potion, she summoned her Avatar OC Akiko again to her world. Again, the gorgeous teenager stood attired in modern-day clothes.

She asked how she was doing, to which Kelsey voiced so-so. They sat in the living room as Kelsey told Akiko what she'd been going through since 2023 had started. While she hadn't had anything stressful transpire, the increasing troll reviews began taking a toll on her mental health. Why people didn't realize that trolling could lead someone to kill themselves, she didn't know. But evidently, no one considered the consequences of their actions anymore. Or there are real people on the other end of the computer screen.

Akiko, while not thoroughly understanding the situation, agreed with her. That far too many individuals had long stopped caring about their fellow man. They no longer remembered anything regarding basic respect and good manners. Kelsey informed Akiko just how screwed up her world was. Thanks to humanity's growing indifference toward each other. She felt if Doomsday was on its way, it was because humans would obliterate themselves.

She also resolved to inform Akiko how she'd been appalled by a YouTube video she had seen the day before. A channel she watched called out another channel for claiming Iroh was a villain. Akiko was beyond disgusted anyone would ever think Iroh could be malicious! No matter the reality, Iroh didn't have a malevolent bone in his body. Kelsey said in her comment that this was the same as another channel bashing Harry Potter.

She wished she could bring both of them out of their realities so they could sue the channels for character defamation. However, even with the portal potion, that wasn't conceivable because people never buy it. Akiko laughed a bit but assured her if that could've been done, Iroh would've made sure to win his case. Sometimes, dealing with all the negative energy in the multiverse was hard.

The two ladies continued to converse for another hour before Kelsey sent Akiko back to her world. She promised she'd visit her in her world after she finished her original story. She had no idea when that would be. Akiko merely smiled and hugged Kelsey, promising they'd be waiting for her. With a smile, Akiko vanished back into her world. Kelsey also smiled and headed to take her evening shower.

 

 

Notes:

Thank you for sharing your short story. Here are some thoughts and feedback:

Setting and Atmosphere: You've done a good job of setting the scene and establishing the story's atmosphere with the description of the gray weather and the sense of isolation Kelsey feels during winter. This sets a mood that carries through the narrative.

Characterization: Kelsey's character is well-developed, and her boredom, frustration, and isolation are clearly conveyed. Her interactions with Akiko provide insight into her personality and emotions.

Themes: The story touches on themes of loneliness, online trolling, and the impact of negative behavior on mental health. These are relevant and relatable themes that many readers may identify with.

Dialogue: Kelsey and Akiko's dialogue feels natural and flows well. It effectively conveys their emotions and thoughts, adding depth to their characters and the story.

Pacing: The story's pacing is steady, and the narrative moves smoothly from one scene to the next. However, consider adding more variation in pacing to create tension or build anticipation in certain moments.

Grammar and Style: Your writing style is clear and straightforward, which works well for the story's tone. Remember occasional punctuation errors and sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence.

Resolution: The story ends positively, with Kelsey feeling connected with Akiko and promising future visits. This provides closure to the narrative and leaves the reader hopeful.

You've created an engaging short story with relatable characters and themes. Keep honing your writing skills, paying attention to details like pacing and grammar, and continuing to explore complex emotions and experiences in your storytelling. Great work!