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There’s been a flood of messages and phone calls ever since the article about him being unwell was released to the public, and Donghyuck has been both thankful and cramped. It’s not that he dislikes attention, it’s always been the opposite. This is just not the attention he normaly craves for. Despite everything happening due to him not knowing he wasn’t as strong as he hoped he was, he still would like people to think of him as invincible.
But that’s just him with his ego problem. His therapist tells him to work on it, and he begrudgingly tries to. If not for anything, it’s to prove that he can do anything and everything he puts his mind to.
He really needs to work on his ego problem.
He thought it would be boring to just rest at home and not work, which is the other problem he has to work on, being a workaholic. But it’s definitely been fun hanging out with Renjun. It is easy to eat and talk about anything with Renjun for hours and hours on end. Jeno also comes to his house, getting more love from his mom than he will ever get —he’s being dramatic. Chenle and Jisung also came by for a bit, telling him they would definitely spend a little bit more time with him if not for their separate family vacations. He faked a dramatic sob and told them he didn’t love him, but he was thankful nonetheless.
And then there’s Jaemin.
It is an unspoken thing that Jaemin is the last puzzle Donghyuck has yet to solve, and it is not even clear to him that he wants to. Somehow, someone who refuses to be perceived and whom he completely doesn’t understand makes the most sense to him. He gets Jaemin and simultaneously, he doesn’t. Maybe having to work on Jaemin for years is also a sign of his workaholism.
His phone rings and Jaemin’s name is staring right at his face. His reflection on his phone over Jaemin’s name is kinda poetic if he thinks about it, but he quickly answers before Jaemin complains, or worse, hangs up and never attempts a second call.
“Haechan-ah,” something pinches at Donghyuck’s heart listening to Jaemin’s husky gentle voice. Donghyuck replies with a short “hmm?”, preventing Jaemin from hearing his shaky voice , since he’s still trying to process how Jaemin saying his name alone is powerful enough to move his bowels. “Have you had dinner yet?”
“Not yet.” Donghyuck blurts before he can think of the consequences. Obviously, Jaemin scolds him for not eating on time. It’s still 6pm but Donghyuck doesn’t have the guts to retaliate, not even when Jaemin is not in range to strike a punch at him. Donghyuck always unconsciously treats Jaemin as an authoritative figure, especially now that his arms get bigger every time he sees him. Donghyuck suddenly feels his throat drying.
“Well, I’m taking you out to dinner.” Jaemin states, commands.
“Kimchi jjigae?” Donghyuck prompts half-jokingly. He doesn’t mind if it’s another restaurant but he just wants to sneak a cheeky banter or two.
“Sure. I’m picking you up.” Jaemin answers swiftly, not even protesting as per usual. Donghyuck thinks he can get used to it, or he’s scared of his newfound power. It’s one of the two, definitely.
“I mean, we can meet there.” Donghyuck offers since it’s a long way to Donghyuck’s home from Jaemin’s, and it’s closer if they both just meet there. But Jaemin promptly disapproves. Donghyuck has dreams about getting taken out on a date by a guy who would knock his door and talk to his mom while he gets ready, anyway, so he doesn’t argue further and gets ready immediately after Jaemin hangs up.
*
His mom isn’t home, so it’s disappointing when he has to open his own door when Jaemin arrives. Right away, Jaemin scurries him to the taxi with his usual annoyed tone. He didn’t get a good look at Jaemin during the five seconds they walked from his doorway to the taxi, so when they're seated, he takes a gander at him under the dim street lights seeping through the car window.
Jaemin is wearing his CAT PERSON hoodie —so much for being lowkey during private schedules— so he can’t see much if his arms get even bigger this time. That’s Donghyuck’s number one priority lately. As usual, Jaemin brings nothing but himself. Everything he owns is in his pockets, just his phone and his card wallet. He’s looking out the window, avoiding Donghyuck's direct gaze, but their eyes meet at the reflection on the window. Jaemin notices how bold Donghyuck is studying his face right now, slightly smirks at the window, and Donghyuck finally turns away. He coughs awkwardly and straightens his posture, looking straight at the taxi driver. As if the back of the head of this middle aged man is more interesting than the future bodybuilder next to him.
Typically, Jaemin doesn’t say much. Car rides with him are always filled with silence. When there are managers or Chenle to talk to, Donghyuck has an audience for his jokes and light conversations. This time, there’s only the taxi driver. And contrary to what people think, he doesn’t always enjoy talking to strangers. So he commits to the lull and white noise, hoping they always get a green light so they can arrive faster to the restaurant.
*
Thankfully, they get a secluded table at the restaurant, in order to avoid nosy fans wanting to know how Donghyuck is doing. There are not many people yet, either, so they quickly order and get their food not long after.
“You should eat. You should’ve eaten a lot, you know. I’ve always told you.” It seems like that’s the only thing Jaemin can say to him. Donghyuck doesn’t think Jaemin is phoning it in, Jaemin is without a doubt genuine. However, between the two of them there should be more to talk about than eating schedule, pooping schedule, and Penthouse. Jaemin always becomes awkward if Donghyuck tries to talk about something deeper, but it's not like attempting to have a more substantial chat with Jaemin comes naturally to Donghyuck either. It's a two way awkward street.
“O-kay, I’m so-rry. I’ll eat more.” He responds in a robotic voice, hands miming how a robot moves. That earns a “tch” from Jaemin, and he snickers. Filing another win to his "making Jaemin react" file. Making Jaemin mad is the only thing that he can instinctively do without any difficulty. So he will lean into it for the time being.
Jaemin considers for a few seconds before saying, “you look better with more meat on your bones, you know?” Jaemin’s expression is unreadable when he says that, that Donghyuck has no idea if it’s an innuendo or genuine health concern. He thinks of how Jaemin loves to hit him on his thick thighs.
“Ooh.. Sexy.” He answers, in case it was an innuendo. Unfortunately, Jaemin doesn’t help Donghyuck determine what it was and ignores Donghyuck’s —if he’s allowed to forget that he should work on his ego problem— witty retort to Jaemin’s statement. Donghyuck looks at Jaemin, waiting for a reaction, only to find none.
That results in more silence, and not a comfortable one.
There’s never been a comfortable silence between them. It’s always so tense, the air heavy between them. This is supposed to be a friendly outing, Jaemin wants to take Donghyuck out because maybe he’s worried about his bandmate of 7 years’ —and a long time friend-slash-acquaintance’s— health. Donghyuck is supposed to be comforted. But they seem to never achieve that friendly balance, especially not when it's just the two of them. It's always dirty jokes or silence, nothing in between.
Jaemin looks at Donghyuck seriously, then looks back at his food, stirring his bowl of soup listlessly. He curses under his breath. “This is why we can’t be friends.” He finally breaks the silence. Donghyuck looks up from his own bowl, his eyes widened in surprise. It’s a surprise to Donghyuck that Jaemin brings this up but it's obvious that they can’t be friends. Donghyuck doesn’t seem to know how to act around people who doesn't instantly like him. On the other hand, Jaemin can't stand loud people who tease him constantly. This is not a good recipe for a friendship.
“Because you keep flirting with me.” Jaemin states matter-of-factly, as if it hasn’t just shaken Donghyuck’s core. Jaemin finally goes straight to the point. Jaemin always says “teases”, “taunts”, or “tantalizes”, but he never says it for what it truly is. That Donghyuck always flirts with him, wanting him to flirt back. That flirting is their favorite communication tool. But they have never dissect the obvious nature of their relationship because they’re both just too stubborn, too similar, none of them will bend for the other. Their favorite tool has become a double edged sword and they end up always failing to communicate, not in a healthy way anyway.
Donghyuck turns his focus back on his soup and starts sipping on it in an attempt to do something, anything, just so he doesn’t have to acknowledge whatever it is Jaemin is trying to do with the conversation. “And whenever you do that, I keep thinking about fucking you.”
That was definitely something that Donghyuck has never expected to ever hear from Jaemin, not in his wildest dream. It’s a miracle he doesn’t choke on his soup. Instead, he lets the soup fall out of his mouth onto his chin and his shirt due to the utter shock he feels that he can’t close his mouth, which is way worse than choking. At least if he chokes there’s a possibility of him dying which will get him out of this situation. Jaemin winces in disgust while he quickly takes a napkin to wipe Donghyuck’s chin gently.
Jaemin. Keeps. Thinking. About. Fucking. Him.
Every single time he flirts with him.
And Donghyuck flirts with Jaemin all the time.
Jaemin keeps thinking about fucking him all the time.
That simply doesn’t compute. That’s an insane statement just thrown out in the middle of a family restaurant. On a Wednesday. In front of these taxpayers.
Nothing has made Donghyuck feel more out of water than this. Jaemin, who refuses to call him by his birth name his mother gave him, keeps thinking about fucking him. All the time, by the way. This feels like an episode of SNL. This feels more surreal than watching Mark asking for spaghetti in aegyo.
“Do you want more rice or should we get dessert? Can you even eat ice cream?” Jaemin asks while rolling his sleeves up naturally, like he just hasn’t said… Donghyuck cannot even repeat the sentence in his head anymore, his brain hurts. “Or should we get dessert someplace else?” Jaemin offers, still not getting a reply from Donghyuck. “Haechannie?” It’s just quintessential Jaemin to tilt his head while saying his name cutely, out of nowhere, whenever he feels like it.
Donghyuck has his hands on his head, frustrated at how terrible he is reacting at this and still he doesn’t know how to deal with it. It is unfair that to Jaemin, saying that seems to have cleared the air and made him more comfortable with Donghyuck. To Donghyuck, the air on his side feels carbon monoxide poisoning-worthy. He feels lightheaded, even though he just finished his favorite meal.
When Donghyuck just shakes his head and hums, Jaemin concludes that he probably still doesn't feel well —he really doesn't, but in a completely different way— and that he should rest more. So Jaemin pays with his card —even hotter, worsening Donghyuck’s state of mind even more— and hails a taxi.
The taxi ride is quiet, but not in Donghyuck’s head this time. His brain is so loud that he can’t even hear Jaemin telling him they’ve arrived and that Jaemin has to nudge his shoulder to sober him up.
*
Jaemin insist to walk him up to his door and when they arrive, Donghyuck holds Jaemin’s wrist. Jaemin starts to get more worried, seemingly thinking that Donghyuck is about to collapse, so he holds Donghyuck’s waist firmly.
Well, there’s never a better time to overcome his ego than the present.
“Please fuck me.” Donghyuck blurts out loudly, thinking the volume will mask the fear in his voice.
Jaemin’s eyes widen in shock before he howls, his whole body shakes from laughing. He leans on Donghyuck’s shoulder, wiping his tears on Donghyuck’s precious cardigan. “Jaemin, please. I’m being dead serious.” Donghyuck purses his lips, pushing Jaemin’s shoulder slightly so he would look at him and see how there’s nothing funny about this situation.
After more laughing, Jaemin stands up straight and holds Donghyuck’s cheeks with his hands. He rarely ever treats Donghyuck that preciously that Donghyuck blushes a little to much for his liking. “I won’t, because you’re not healthy yet.” He boops Donghyuck's nose with his forefinger.
At that, Donghyuck purses his lips cutely, his ultimate weapon of destruction. And he's right, he sees how destroyed Jaemin was by that. But not for long, because Jaemin closes in and kisses the pout of his face completely. Their dry lips and garlicky breaths don’t stop them from absolutely ravishing each other’s mouths and releasing them of the years of built up tension, but not quite yet.
The taxi driver beeps his horn and Jaemin suddenly stops gripping Donghyuck’s ass firmly, realizing there’s someone waiting for him still. Jaemin quickly moves away from Donghyuck’s body and turns his back to walk to the taxi, but Donghyuck’s strong grip on his hoodie prevents him from doing so. “I’m not going home, Cutie. I’ll pay him and tell him to go.” Jaemin assures, his voice sounds way too sweet, way too unfamiliar, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind it. He definitely wants to get used to it. Donghyuck drags Jaemin by the front of his hoodie to give him another chaste kiss, Jaemin obliges, hands rubbing Donghyuck back in attempt to comfort the sulking Donghyuck.
“So you’ll fuck me?” Donghyuck tries again, only to get a light slap on his buttcheek and more mom-like berating from Jaemin. He definitely can get used to this.
*
When Jaemin tucks him in bed and lets Donghyuck drag his arms around him, settling his face on Donghyuck’s neck, lightly kissing, obnoxiously smelling his scent, Donghyuck thinks that Jaemin is a hundred person correct. They definitely can’t be friends, and Donghyuck is surely fine with it.