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Kazuki looked over at his daughter, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Chatting animatedly with her new roommate, brown hair now long down her back, Miri looked every inch the young adult that she was, preparing to take on university.
So why did he get the feeling she wasn’t ready?
“Miri,” he said, interrupting the conversation. Beside him, he heard Rei exhale a breath that he recognised as his disapproval breath , the others’ glare burning a hole in the side of his head. Whatever, he thought, dismissively. This is payback for giving her an undercut when I said no. “Are we going to dinner? I made reservations at that diner you like.”
That wasn’t strictly true - but Kazuki knew he had to get her away from this other girl - he needed to talk to her alone! He could tell her he knew she was nervous and that she didn’t have to go to university this year - she could come back home and stay with them and -
“No you didn’t,” said Rei in his usual deadpan, voice devoid of emotion. Kazuki leveled the other with a glare that would intimidate a lesser man - but Rei remained unaffected.
“Rei - “
Out of the corner of his eye, Kazuki saw Miri sigh. Did she just roll her eyes at them?
He hated the eye-rolling. The year she turned thirteen had been nothing but eye rolling, door slamming, and foot stomping. He’d hated that year - but at least she’d asked for noise-cancelling headphones for her birthday.
That had been an unexpected bonus.
“Aoi-chan,” said Miri in her usual chipper tone. “Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll catch up!”
The girl, who Kazuki had barely paid attention to up until now (she looked shady - and Kazuki knew shady when he saw it) gave them a curious look out of the corner of her eye. Kazuki did his best to look intimidating but, judging by the stiffness of his partner beside him, he thought Rei rather had that covered.
Miri gave Aoi an encouraging smile and waved her out of the door, though she left looking quite reluctant. When finally the girl had left, and the door had clicked shut behind her, Miri turned around and placed her hands on her hips.
Ah, thought Kazuki dumbly, recalling several occasions since Miri had come to live with them that she had done this. It had never ended well for him. She didn’t like that.
“Papa,” said Miri, firmly, her brown hair swinging about her shoulders. Kazuki’s gaze caught on the shaved patch just above her left ear and felt annoyed all over again. “What are you doing?”
“Me?” Kazuki spluttered, a hand coming to his chest as he did his best to look aggrieved. “What are you talking about, Miri?”
There was the eye roll - again. Would she ever grow out of it? That was certainly one habit he could live without.
“Papa,” she repeated, lips pursing, a scowl appearing between her eyebrows. “I can tell something’s wrong. You didn’t say anything about dinner reservations in the car!” she pointed an accusatory finger at him, and Kazuki felt his eyes widen. “What’s going on?”
Beside him, Rei looked away, an odd noise that Kazuki recognised as a laugh escaping his lips.
No help from him, then.
“Miri,” Kazuki started, stepping towards his daughter - because she was . His daughter. His … and Rei’s. She was the best thing that had ever happened to them, and maybe he had been wrong all along and she was ready to leave them - but he wasn’t ready to let her go. “You don’t need to go to university right away, you know.” He realised his words were coming out desperate even as he said them, but he found he couldn’t stop. “You could wait a year - or two!”
Miri’s eyes softened right in front of him - how did she manage to look so much like Rei when she did that? - and she let out a sigh.
“Papa,” she said, gently, reaching out to take his hands. Her own hands were so big now, he realised, so much bigger than the pudgy, sticky, chocolate-smeared hands they had once been. “I’m only a half hour away by bus. I’ll be home so often you won’t know what to do with me.”
“But - “
She squeezed his hands between her own, and he looked up. She had become a young adult right before his eyes. When had that happened?
He felt a warmth at his side, and realised Rei had stepped closer. Not the kind to make reassuring touches, or comforting words - this was how he showed he cared.
“I want to be here, Papa,” Miri’s voice was earnest, now, and his heart softened. He never could say no to her. “But I’m not leaving you. Not really.”
Swallowing, Kazuki reached out and pulled his daughter into a hug as his heart clenched in his chest. He wasn’t one for crying, he didn’t even like talking about his feelings - but today he was close.
Miri squeezed him back, her slender arm snaking out to wrap around Rei’s waist and bring him in too. There they stood for a few, long moments, their little family all tangled up together, aware that as soon as they let go, things would change.
“Besides,” came a muffled voice from somewhere within the hug. “Now that I’ve moved out, you and Papa Rei won’t need to worry about hiding your relationship from me anymore.”
That ended the hug pretty quickly.
“What?!” Kazuki let go of Miri as quickly has he had hugged her, taking a few steps back - away from her, and from Rei. His cheeks were heating up quickly under the scrutiny of their gaze - Miri nonchalant, Rei questioning - nearly panicked. “Miri we don’t - we aren’t - “
“Oh please,” sighed Miri, arms folding over her chest. “I’ve known for years . Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Kazuki rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding their eyes. The truth was, whatever was going on between him and Rei was … undefined. It always had been.
They were partners, speaking in terms of their work, and they were friends. And for the last decade they had been sneaking around, in and out of Rei’s bedroom while Kazuki’s bed remained cold and unslept in, waiting for Miri to be asleep, to be with a friend, to be invited to a sleepover.
They had never talked about what it was that they had - it had barely made it into the light of day, the touches Rei left on his skin fading away with the morning mist.
“How - “ Kazuki couldn’t look at Miri or Rei, kept his eyes focused on the floor to his right, inspecting the corner of the bogey-green carpet oh-so closely.“Please,” Miri said, dismissively, and Kazuki heard Rei let out a strangled noise. “I’m not blind.” She paused for a moment. “Or deaf.”
Kazuki was going to die. Kazuki was going to melt into a puddle of goo and the earth was going to swallow him up and maybe if it did he was never going to have to tell his daughter how her dads had just been fucking for a decade and they weren’t in love because how could they be and -
A cold hand slid silently into his. Kazuki looked up to see Rei beside him, long hair falling into his eyes, which were trained determinedly on Miri - their daughter.
“You know,” said Rei in a matter-of-fact sort of way, his voice cool as ever, any trace of panic gone. “That’s good.”
Miri nodded, hands back on her hips, as if to say “ there, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“It’ll be good for you,” she said. “Without me around … it’ll be good.”
Before Kazuki could protest, Miri was throwing her arms around the two of them, their hands still entwined. Her arm around his neck pulled his head close to Rei’s, and he could smell the mingled scents of Rei’s shampoo and Miri’s perfume. The smell of family.
“I’ll miss you,” Miri said, and Kazuki knew it was true. He also knew … she was ready. And maybe he wasn’t but maybe it would be okay anyway. “I love you.”
Miri pulled away from them, and gave a smile, albeit a watery one.
“I love you too,” said Kazuki, and, to his surprise, Rei said it too. His face was pink, and he was looking somewhere over Miri’s left shoulder, but he still said it. It wouldn’t have mattered, they all knew it was true, but Kazuki felt his heart warm to hear it spoken out loud anyway.
Miri sniffed once, then clapped her hands together, as if trying to dispel the emotions that had taken over the three of them.
“Okay!” she said, brightly, even as she brushed the unshed tears from her eyes. “I’m going to go meet Aoi-chan in the cafeteria, but I’ll be home next weekend.”
Kazuki nodded as she backed away, his grip tightening on Rei’s hand, which was still in his. Their fingers had tangled together, and he found his thumb rubbing absently across Rei’s calloused skin.
“Okay,” he choked out, and Rei made a gruff noise. “Have fun. Be safe.”
Miri nodded once, gave them another quick smile, and was gone.
The silence hung in the air for a few long moments after she left, and Kazuki found he was becoming nervous. He swallowed and went to pull his hand away, making for the door - but Rei’s grip tightened.
“She knows,” said Rei, slowly. He still wasn’t looking at Kazuki, giving an excellent view of the blush creeping its way up the side of his neck. “What harm can it do.”
It didn’t sound like a question - and that was okay by Kazuki.
“O-okay.” Kazuki nodded. He felt lightheaded, like he had been thrown from a plane without a parachute - terrifying, but also exhilarating.
As they walked towards the dorm door, hands still linked together, Rei spoke up again.
“Maybe when we get home … you could cook for me.”
Kazuki’s lips twitched his heart warming in his chest.
“Mm. Okay,” he turned to smile over at Rei, who, for the first time since they had walked into Miri’s dorm room, was looking him in the eye. “I’d like that.”