Chapter Text
Not that he remembers doing it, but if Shoto ever wondered if he wanted children, after that extracurricular class, he stopped doubting it. He was definitely not good with children and even the experience made him feel tired and old. It did not help that the children themselves came to insult him, saying that he was boring. Todoroki didn't feel especially offended, not when he knew it himself, being aware of how difficult it was sometimes to understand people even his own age, like all of class 1-A; but the comment did not help with his self-esteem either.
At least the session ended better than it started, by the end of the hour, the children had fun and some even ended up feeling admiration and affection for them, which was surprising considering the antisocial larvae that Bakugou and he could be. When Gang Orca announced that they had passed the test, Yoarashi and Bakugou were the loudest, who shouted excitedly from two very different attitudes, as always the blonde being rude and violent. Shoto couldn't hide his smile of relief and pride.
"I am very grateful to all of you" expressed the teacher of that group of children that Shoto came to think were simple animals without a leash "You will become great heroes, right children?"
The children's affirmative shout echoed throughout the room and didn't bother Todoroki as much as it had at first. As they said their goodbyes, the children walked away with happy smiles as they chatted and shared the experience with each other. Once the innocent voices disappeared, the room fell silent and Shoto had permission to sigh.
"That was wonderful" Yoarashi expressed pleased "Good job everyone"
Shoto felt almost inspired until he noticed his father in the stands. He knew of his presence from the beginning but he didn't feel so uncomfortable until now that he saw him again, there was a strange anxiety that vanished almost instantly but left him restless and worried. Still, he managed to ignore it and continue celebrating with his teammates. Gang Orca finished the session and they soon returned to the locker room to change into their UA uniform. It was in the hallways, on the way to the exit, that they met the school teacher again, who now looked serious and confused as she walked. It was only when she visualized them and began to run towards them that they noticed that a child was coming behind her.
"For a moment I thought I wouldn't reach you" she exhaled. The boy stopped next to her and grabbed her hand. He looked more worried than her "I'm sorry, but there's something we have to tell you"
"Of course, miss, how can we help you?" Yoarashi asked, without losing his smile.
The teacher smiled weakly, before looking at her little student, who cringed when he noticed that the rest of the heroes turned their attention to him as well. How he did not respond despite the teacher's request, she had to express it.
"During the session, young Aren activated his quirk in one of you" basically everyone exchanged glances and the teacher, also confused, moved her arm to get the boy's attention "Aren, which of these young was affected?"
The boy named Aren, who in appearance seemed like an ordinary boy, even bland one could say, looked at the heroes and stopped at Todoroki, before looking down, surely embarrassed, and pointing at him with a trembling finger. Shoto raised an eyebrow as his companions almost invaded him to stare at his face, hoping to find whatever that boy's quirk did.
"I don't find anything unusual" Yoarashi said.
"He has just his usual idiot face" Bakugou speaked.
"But he looks a bit paler" Utsushimi exclaimed. Shoto decided not to show the slight concern he felt "What is the boy's quirk about?"
"Young Aren has the quirk to potentiate the dominant emotions" the teacher looked remorseful but since no one seemed to understand what she was referring to, she proceeded "It makes the emotion that dominates the most in the person intensify and be the only one they feel"
"How strange" Yoarashi said, still confused but smiling relieved that it wasn't so serious.
"What a stupid quirk" Bakugou sneered with his arms crossed "Besides this bastard doesn't feel emotions"
Shoto frowned, slightly annoyed by the comment, but let it go as being more interested in learning more about that child's ability. He was a little worried that it would become a problem.
"How long does it last?" since it was his first time speaking, the boy cringed and Shoto felt guilty for scaring him.
"We don't know" the teacher sighed.
"Can you remove it?" Utsushimi kindly inquired of the boy, but he shook his head.
"He still doesn't control it" the teacher answered for him, with shared guilt "At least we wanted to let you know"
Shoto nodded slowly, not knowing exactly what to say. When the silence extended a bit, the teacher gave the boy a gentle push, who was still grieving, with bright eyes on the verge of shedding tears; but he managed to take the step and look at Shoto for just a second.
"I'm so sorry" he said and the teacher patted his head proudly.
"There's nothing to apologize for" Shoto expressed sincerely. The boy finally made eye contact, surprised.
"It was an accident, don't feel so bad" Yoarashi seconded. Beside him, Bakugou snorted.
"I'll leave you my number" the teacher said as she searched her bag for a piece of paper and a pen which she extended towards Todoroki with a gentle nod "Please call me if you need help"
Todoroki thanked and the teacher and her student walked away, leaving the rest a bit confused and amused, in Kemii's case.
"I think I can guess why the boy did that to you" she said with a smile, drawing the attention of the rest "I think he likes a girl from his class who ended up in love with you. I guess he did it as revenge for stealing her heart"
Bakugou smiled in amusement but Todoroki couldn't understand the joke.
"Did I steal her heart?" Shoto asked genuinely confused "When did I do that?"
Bakugou laughed, boisterous and annoyed, even doubling over. Yoarashi then joined in with his own laughter which rubbed off on Utsushimi and soon the three of them were laughing in his face. Todoroki ignored the pang of anxiety that arose.
"You're such an idiot, IceHot" Bakugou said before ignoring him and starting to walk towards the exit.
"I didn't know you were a comedian, Todoroki" Yoarashi punched him hard on the back, which caused a sharp pang in his heart, before walking off and following Bakugou. Utsushimi winked at him and started walking, leaving Todoroki more confused than usual.
On the way out, Todoroki's heart gave another nasty turn when he ran into his father.
"Shoto" said the older one as he nodded for them to get away from the group. Todoroki had no choice but to obey him, feeling Bakugou's gaze on his back that he preferred to ignore "It's been a while"
It had never been easy to talk to Endeavor, but it was more difficult when there were people around him. For a long time, Todoroki worried that his father would make a scene in front of other people, but sooner rather than later he understood that what Endeavor cared about most was his image. In public he could pretend to be an admirable hero and father of a family, even if in the privacy of his home, he was someone else.
“I'm proud of you, son,” Endeavor said meekly. The image didn't fit Shoto's mind but his words felt like a slap. Bravely and defiantly, he pushed his hand away, yet perfectly concealed the slight panic he felt as Endeavor was about to touch him. For a second, the alarms in Shoto's head began to go off, those alarms that told him to run and hide, but he only needed to tense the hand that was holded his backpack to anchor himself and continue in the present.
Endeavor was calm as he told him that he would become a hero Shoto would be proud of. At the beginning, Shoto did not want to be fooled by the supposed redemption that he was saying, because he witnessed his violence for many years, towards him, his brothers and his mother; but he decided to trust, even though it was an almost unrealistic promise and even though he still felt a grudge against him, because Shoto was curious and was willing to give him a second chance. Deserved, maybe not, but if it meant that things would get better, that his past would stop tormenting and beating him, if it would stop being dragged by the ghosts of fear and despair... Then Todoroki was willing to try to give that last one jump.
Endeavor said goodbye with his eyes shining with determination, after Yoarashi's words of encouragement, and Todoroki clung to that little light, to that desire, while the sunset in the sky was the indicator of something. But soon, his calm was disturbed as he and Bakugou got on the vehicle. All Might congratulated them once the car started, for their performance in the session with the children. Bakugou grunted in response though Todoroki could imagine that he was actually pleased. For his part, he thanked loud enough to be listened it from the passenger seat. The rest of the ride was quiet. All Might knew them well enough to know that they both preferred silence and this time Todoroki appreciated, because he honestly did not feel comfortable, since at any noise, even the most imperceptible sound from outside or from the members in the vehicle, his stomach turned nervously. Todoroki remembered the boy's quirk but still didn't fully understand what it meant and no, not because he didn't feel emotions.
Upon arriving at UA, Bakugou got off and entered the institute without waiting for him, as he always did, but this time Todoroki felt a hint of sadness.
"Are you alright young Todoroki?" All Might approached behind him when he noticed that he hadn't moved but the tension that provocated from his approach made him take a step back "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"
Shoto swallowed uncertainly.
"I'm sorry" he said calmer "I'm fine. I'm just a little tired"
All Might nodded.
"Kids can be exhausting" he empathized, "You deserve a good rest"
Todoroki nodded weakly and with a small smile said goodbye to the former number one hero. The inside of Height Alliance was as noisy as when Todoroki left it that morning. Some of his classmates were watching Sero and Kirishima play a game of mini football and Todoroki took advantage of the background noise to move quietly to his room. There he took a few minutes to try to relax. His head was pounding a bit from anxiety and the recent conversation with his father, which stirred some things inside him that Shoto wasn't so sure what they were.
His room wasn't helping either, not when thoughts associated with his past came up. That was always what Endeavor did when they saw each other, bring to the surface shadows that Todoroki had either forgotten or didn't want to remember.
With a heavy sigh, he sped up the process of changing into more comfortable clothes, until something in his pocket caught his attention. It was the piece of paper that the teacher gave him with her number. Todoroki looked at the piece of paper as if he could find all the answers in the universe but, logically it couldn't happen; he left it on the desk and kept taking off his uniform, hoping he wouldn't need it in the future.
He soon left his room. Although he did not have much energy or desire to socialize with his companions, it was better to leave than stay and let his mind spiral, so he went down to the first floor and walked to the living room, where his closest friends were. Midoriya was the first to see him and greet him with joy.
"Welcome Todoroki"
Shoto returned the smile and took a seat after Uraraka invited him.
"How was class?" asked Iida kindly.
"It was good" he replied. He knew that his friends were accustomed to his short answers but still he felt small and guilty for his dryness, so he tried to share more information with them "They brought some children from a primary school"
"Elementary kids? How cute!" Uraraka exclaimed with a smile.
Todoroki didn't think they were tender or cute.
"What was the exercise about?" Asui asked curiously.
"We had to take care of them" and entertain them, he added in his mind "To promote the values of heroism"
"That's very important" Iida added energetically "Being a hero is also being kind and helpful to those who need our help, no matter how old they are"
"And how did it go?" Midoriya asked nervously. Shoto didn't get it until Izuku added "Did Kacchan really take care of the kids?"
Uraraka covered her mouth to muffle her laughter.
"We managed to win their hearts" he confirmed slowly, remembering that for his good work, he stole someone's and ended up with a quirk that he still didn't understand what it meant. Just as he saw Midoriya and Uraraka laughing, someone tackled him from behind, grabbing his shoulders with a strong grip and making Shoto freeze in fear and panic. He was able to stifle his scream but he didn't prevent himself from jumping in his seat.
"Oh man. I'm sorry I scared you" Sero said gently, letting go.
"I'm fine" he responded by reaction, thankful that none of his companions present had Jiro's ability, otherwise they would hear his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
Beside Sero was Kaminari who bared his teeth and leaned against the back of the sofa, on Todoroki's right side. Sero did the same but on the left side and they both couldn't stop smiling.
"We wanted to ask you how your class went since Bakugou doesn't want to tell us" Sero said.
"And we think something embarrassing happened and that's why he's acting suspicious" Kaminari continued with amusement. Todoroki didn't get to speak when Uraraka answered for him, making a poor attempt to speak over the guffaws. Soon Sero and Kaminari joined up.
"Babysitting Bakugou? I can't believe it!" Shoto cringed at Sero's shout.
"It's an image I can't create in my head" Asui expressed with a smile.
"I would give anything to see that" Kaminari said, hitting the seat of the sofa as his laughter started to grow louder. Todoroki tensed again with the blows but clenched his fists to show nothing. Suddenly the blonde came around the sofa and sat next to Todoroki "Tell us what else happened"
Todoroki tried to remember, but his mind was more focused on removing the nervousness that washed over him when Kaminari came so suddenly.
"Umm… he was about to explode one"
"Are you serious?" Iida asked disapprovingly, ignoring the laughter of them.
"No, well" Shoto tensed again, feeling that he did something wrong and looking for a way to redeem himself "He was quite patient"
"Bakugo patient?" Sero inquired with his characteristic smile "Yes, it's the end of the world"
"Maybe his heart is softening" the electricity user said, turning to look at his friend.
"Our Bakugou has grown" Sero sneered.
"Ashido would be very proud. We have to tell Kirishima too"
Shoto's heart stuttered with concern, he didn't want to get in trouble, but when he tried to speak, in a second, they were running away.
"I think they tempt a lot with fate" Asui stated.
"If Bakugou finds out he will kill them" Uraraka confirmed.
"Kacchan seems rude but deep down he's not that bad"
"Don't say it Deku, if he listens to you he'll kill you too" Uraraka said with amusement.
Todoroki began to lose himself in the conversation as his mind spiraled with anxiety and worry. He did not understand why he began to feel fear for his explosive partner. The only thing that came to mind was that child's quirk. Maybe that's what it was about? The teacher told them that his power potentiates the dominant emotion, but what does she mean by that? Are there dominant emotions? At first Shoto felt insulted by Bakugou's comment that he didn't feel emotions, and he still disagreed; but he did believe that he had a better control of his emotions than other people, even compared to Bakugou himself. But if that quirk affected the way Shoto felt, why was fear what he was feeling the most?
"Todoroki are you alright?" Midoriya grabbed his shoulder and this time Shoto not only jumped in his seat, he couldn't avoid yelling "I'm so sorry!"
Todoroki turned pale when he realized his reaction and the look his friends were giving him, especially Midoriya who looked worried and guilty.
"Sorry" he whispered slowly. When the silence was too long and imagining that everyone wanted to ask him the same thing, Shoto preferred to get up "It was a long day"
"Taking care of children is tiring" Asui stated with empathy "When I take care of my brothers I end up exhausted"
"Sure you're okay?" Midoriya asked, also standing up.
"It's…" Shoto broke off, unsure to share about the boy's quirk, he didn't want to worry them about something he didn't know about either "I'm fine"
No one seemed to agree but, as they always did and which Shoto appreciated a lot, they didn't question him anymore and gave him the space he needed. Todoroki smiled softly at them in thanks, before rounding the sofa and walking away, however he couldn't make it across the entire area when he noticed Bakugou had entered, walking towards Kirishima and the rest of his group. Seeing him, he stopped to a halt, his heart pounding anxiously. He did not want to run into him, he was afraid that he would yell at him or hurt him.
Shoto blinked in confusion. Bakugou caused his anxiety and sometimes despair, but he had never felt a genuine terror of him. That kid's quirk was definitely becoming a problem, fast.
"Todoroki?" Midoriya walked over and spoke to him as softly as possible. But still, Todoroki couldn't help the shudder that arose when his friend accosted him, even in a slow and calm manner. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry" he expressed. Word he always used to avoid getting into trouble "I'm just tired"
Shoto knew that his friend didn't believe him and was biting his tongue anxiously to know what was happening and how he could help him. However, he reflected that even if he told him, it wouldn't help much, and honestly, even if he could do something, he didn't want to tell him. Before Midoriya dared to voice the whirlwind of thoughts he was having, Todoroki smiled at him again and awkwardly waved goodbye, but then again, he didn't manage to take two steps as Bakugou called out angrily. Shoto turned pale and if it wasn't because he froze, he would have run.
"Damned bastard!" he said as he stood in front of him and took him by his shirt. Todoroki stifled his cry but, as a reaction, he raised his arms, tempted to protect his face "What are you saying about me in front of the extras?!"
"Don't hurt me, please" he replied horrified.
Bakugou's eyes widened in surprise and when Shoto registered the words he said, he felt embarrassed. He could feel the looks that were directed at him by those present and he wanted to get into a hole.
"What the fuck?" Katsuki inquired, confused. He still wouldn't let go but his grip lost strength and his temper too.
No one dared to speak but the silence, instead of giving Todoroki calm and peace, made him more nervous and want to escape. Suddenly Katsuki smirked and that made his heart beat faster.
"Are you all weird already from that brat's quirk?"
"I…" Shoto trailed off uneasily "It's nothing"
"What quirk?" of course Midoriya came closer, his eyes shining with determination. Shoto already knew him well enough to know that once he finds something that gives him the information he's looking for, he hangs on and insists until he gets it.
"And here I thought you couldn't feel emotions" Bakugou continued, ignoring Izuku's question.
"I already told you it's nothing" Shoto said weakly.
"Bakubro, what are you talking about?" Kirishima interrupted, confused but worried, as he took his shoulder. Bakugou shook his body to remove the hand but at least he released Todoroki and gave him a breather.
"In class, some brat gave him a quirk that amplifies dominant emotions, or some shit like that"
Shoto lowered his gaze as he returned to be the center of attention.
"Really?" the redhead looked incredulous as he sized up the ice and fire user with a look "That sounds weird"
"How does that amplify emotions?" Midoriya asked mortified but didn't give the blond permission to answer as he launched the various questions that formed in his head "Any emotions? How long does it last? What are the symptoms?"
"Fucking shit, Deku!" Bakugou exploded in irritation "Shut the fuck up!"
Todoroki took two steps back at the shout. They all looked at him strangely.
"Good thing he didn't use his quirk un you, Bakugou, or else you'd be angrier" Kaminari commented, not very intelligently. Kirishima, next to him, hit his forehead.
"Shut up you little shit!" he directed his anger towards the blond who didn't hesitate to run "I'll kill you!"
Bakugou gave chase and Kirishima followed, yelling for them to stop. Todoroki took advantage of his lucky break to walk to the exit, but, for the third time, he was stopped, again by Midoriya, who called out in concern.
"I'll go to my room" he said slowly.
"Are you sure? Maybe we can help you" he said approaching but when Shoto backed away scared, Izuku stopped.
"I'm sorry" he sighed shakily "I… I'll be fine"
Midoriya made a face but accepted although not very convinced.
"If you need something, please tell me"
Todoroki nodded and turned around without saying goodbye. He could feel Izuku's gaze on his back and afraid that he was following him, he hurriedly walked to the elevator. It was only when the doors to it closed that Shoto sighed and felt just a little more secure. The elevator went up to the fifth floor, which gave him enough time for him to analyze what was happening. He wasn't sure how that kid's quirk worked, but it didn't feel like manipulation, since the fear felt genuine, it felt part of him but at the same time it didn't, because it was spontaneous and uncontrollable.
When the doors opened, his heart pounded but he clenched his fists to try to control himself. He hoped the quirk would wear off soon, or it would be a nightmare at night. But when he practically ran through the halls until he reached his room, he realized, with horror, that the boy's power was not disappearing, on the contrary, it seemed to be increasing and at an unpredictable speed. His room, instead of bringing him calm, filled him with stress and fear and Todoroki remembered why he had left in the first place. He couldn't even get inside, because his legs trembled and he fell to the ground. He felt that at any moment, someone would come out of the walls, the closet or even the door.
Shoto practically jumped up when he heard a noise behind him.
"Calm down" he said to himself as he hugged himself and knelt on the futon "You're in UA, the safest place in the world… You're with your friends, they wouldn't hurt you… You're far away from that man. He can't touch you here"
He tensed his muscles before exhaling hard and releasing them. He placed his hands on his knees and closed his eyes. It definitely wasn't very smart to close them, but he wanted to meditate, thinking that he might feel better that way.
Inhale
He heard a voice in the hallway, his heart pounding and his eyes opened with alarm.
Calm calm
He closed them again when he realized that no one was there and exhaled the breath he was holding.
Inhale
He was able to keep his eyes closed when he heard a sound in the distance, but he couldn't stop the tremor that shook his entire body.
Inhale
Something vibrated and Todoroki cried, his eyes widened and he jumped up in a panic. Only when he recognized that it was his cell phone and not something else, did he relax his shoulders a bit. His hands trembled as he took the cell phone out of his pocket, and checked the notification. All because of a message from Hagakure in the group chat, which said that Yaoyorozu had returned from visiting his parents and had brought many desserts and snacks. The rest of the message Shoto ignored by closing his eyes and massaging them.
What he needed was to forget about everything, maybe he could sleep and the problem was having would be magically solved in the morning. Yes, that was a good plan. His body shaking with anxiety, he got up to turn off the light, but when it became apparent that the darkness was intensifying the fear he was developing, he turned it back on. Then, without changing into his bedding, he lay down on the futon and closed his eyes. He hadn't really noticed how tired he felt until his head hit the pillow and that was a good sign that he might fall asleep sooner. Or so he thought.
He heard no sound, no voice, he just felt that there was something or someone watching him from the corner of the room. Getting up so abruptly made his head really start to ache, but it all faded to the background when he discovered, of course, that no one was there. With a shaky breath, he went back to massaging his temple before trying to go back to sleep. Of course, after several attempts where he almost felt that his heart was beating so fast, he gave up. Although Todoroki was more than used to sleepless nights, but this time he didn't want to live it, not with fear beating and showing itself in unexpected ways. Because, the cold truth was that Shoto didn't know the abilities of that child, nor the consequences that could bring about, much less the durability. It was foolish to deal with this alone. Although his mind told him to call the number written on that sheet of paper, which was still resting on his desk, almost mocking him, Todoroki paid no attention. It was worse dealing with a person he didn't even know well, so he didn't hesitate for long when he instead wrote Midoriya a message, asking for his help. Of course, his friend responded instantly, saying that he would go to his room. Shoto dropped the phone on the futon and sighed in frustration. He honestly hated asking for help, it made him feel weak and worthless, but he would rather be safe than sorry. Besides, Midoriya was his friend, he wouldn't hurt him...
"He's my friend" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with dismay. "I trust him"
But his mind contradicted him, saying that he couldn't be sure and Todoroki had to put triple effort into quieting his mind and that unconscious fear. It was almost like living a nightmare. He had to bend down to pull his hair, screaming in his head to stop creating ideas and images that only made the fear grow and hit him with more force and speed.
"It's okay" he promised himself, feeling that tears were about to fall "I'm sure"
Would you be safe if you were alone
"No one is going to hurt me"
Anyone can come
Shoto's breath hitched.
It's coming for you!
Shoto felt the exact moment he was lost. The fear that came in waves, crept up into a single wave that hit him hard and destroyed all his barriers of consciousness. His mind was flooded with despair and agony and the only thing he could do to save him was scream at him to run. Todoroki didn't think twice as he ran to the exit, but when he managed to open the door, the first thing he saw was a person.
The scream echoed in the small room.
***