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Merlin's used to chaotic mornings. And evenings. And nights. Because let's face it, chaos is a great word for generally summarizing the state of his life but this morning in particular is rather painful.
He wakes up at the crack of dawn - again - thanks to Arthur's insanely expensive, loud and complicated alarm that requires two different alphanumeric passwords AND a biometric scan to shut off. He fails to drag Arthur out of bed to switch it off, resorts to punching him and then makes his way to the shower, only to realize Arthur's finished all the hot water. The coffeemaker lets out a traitorous whine when he plugs it in. He burns the only piece of bread in the house. He puts the kettle on, reaches for his favourite tea and finds the box empty. Instead, there's a post-it note with a smiley face and blocky letters asking him to buy some more. He grits his teeth, crushes the note in his hand and briefly curses his roommate.
Determined to make it through the morning, he decides to make do with instant coffee and dumps copious amounts of sugar into it to make it bearable. Of course, one sip of said coffee instantly crushes any willpower he had for the day, for Arthur's replaced the sugar with baking soda, again. Oh for fucks sake. Merlin barely bites back a scream as he spits the coffee out.
Gosh, it would be so much easier to hate Arthur if he wasn't also drop-dead gorgeous.
Merlin's always had a bit of a weakness for blond, blue-eyed, emotionally constipated clotpoles but even he'll admit the acts of revenge are getting a bit much.
("Harmless pranks, Gwen? Bollocks. You're not the one who had to wake up covered in bloody feathers today wondering if you had accidentally killed a bird in your sleep".
Gwen had displayed an infuriating lack of sympathy and rolled her eyes, "Oh calm down Merlin, you're just being dramatic. There was just a bit of dye on them. And besides, you're the one who replaced his shampoo with green slime yesterday, what did you expect?"
Oh yes, that had been absolutely glorious; Merlin would cherish the look on Arthur's gorgeous furious face forever. He had marched stark naked from the bathroom to yell at Merlin, green slime dripping down his head as Merlin resolutely tried (read: failed) not to ogle at him.)
Merlin still remembers how this all started.
Six Months Ago
"Here's the key to your room and a list of things you're not allowed to do. Roommates cannot be swapped, mind the rules of the laundry room and remember no parties after 12. Grab this pamphlet here for a list of mixers for first-years this week. Next!"
Merlin hurried out of the way as the middle-aged orientation lady repeated the same line to the next wide-eyed first-year in the queue. He made his way to Pendragon Hall and lugged his bags to room 222. God, he hoped his roommate turned out to be a normal bloke, he had heard too many weird stories from Will when Will had started university in Manchester last year. Really, as long as Arthur P. did not have any weird fetishes or was a homophobe, they would get along just fine.
The first thing Merlin realized about Arthur P. was that he was possibly the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. Arthur P. had a face that belonged on swimsuit magazine spreads or on the red carpet.
The second thing Merlin realized about Arthur P. was that he was a gigantic ass. The realization comes in parts.
It all started when he finally reached room 222 and saw a bunch of burly seniors mocking a first-year. Used to ignoring the rational voice in his head, he immediately stepped in between the three seniors and the first-year, "I think you've had your fun, my friend."
The oldest (and the most gorgeous!) of the three boys stepped forward, "Do I know you?"
Unsure, Merlin stuck his hand forward and smiled slightly, "Uh, I am Merlin, from room 222."
"So I don't know you."
"No", he let his hand drop.
The older boy smirked, "And yet you called me "friend"."
"That was my mistake."
"Yes, I think so. Tell me Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?"
Merlin smirked, "Yes, I can teach you if you like. I think you would look good on your knees for me."
The older boy flushed a dull red and crossed his arms, "I could have you removed from this housing hall for that."
"Who do you think you are, besides just an ass? Uther Pendragon of Pendragon Hall?"
"No." He smirked, "I'm his son. Arthur."
"Arthur P as in Arthur Pendragon in room 222?" That's when the third realization sets in for Merlin. Not only had he managed to get an ass for a roommate, but he had also gotten a royal ass that might have him thrown out of the housing hall before lunchtime. Okay, it was time to make peace.
Arthur gestured to his friends, "Not very bright, is he?"
"Look, I told you you're an ass. I just didn't realize you were a royal one. Any chance we could put this whole thing behind us? I would rather hate to be homeless this early into the semester."
"Well lucky for you, I'm in a forgiving mood, Mervin. I'm sure we're going to have an excellent time being roommates." He placed his hands on Merlin's shoulders and squeezed hard, "Don't you think, friend?"
Merlin shrugged Arthur's hand off of his shoulders and picked up his luggage. This was going to be a long year.
+++
Merlin decided to make the most of it. There was no way to change his roommate, Arthur seemed to have enough goodwill to not ask his dad to throw Merlin out and who knew, it might not turn out to be so bad.
His hope lasted until 6 AM the next morning when he was woken up by the most obnoxious sound he had ever heard. It sounded like a cross between a dying cat and a herd of elephants marching through. He had marched into Arthur's room where the prat slept, dead to the world, blissfully ignorant of his deafening alarm. Merlin picked up the unassuming white box making the obnoxious sound.
Smack!
Nothing
Smack!
Nothing
Where the fuck was the off switch? What kind of a weirdo had an alarm like this? All smooth lines, no visible buttons. Merlin had desperately pressed its edges in hopes of finding a button when it spoke - Good morning. Please enter Password 1 of 3. Good Morning. Please enter Password 1 of 3. Good Morning. Please enter Password 1 of 3.
God, shut up. He had given up and resorted to shaking Arthur awake instead but to no avail.
Time for desperate measures. He had grabbed the carafe of water on the nightstand and had emptied it on Arthur's head.
"What the actual fuck, Merlin?"
"Shut your goddamn alarm!" Merlin had screamed in Arthur's face before storming off.
And that was that. or at least Merlin had thought so. He had gotten on with his day, made a friend in his second class of the day (Gwen!) and come back to his room, only to find that someone had thrown water on all his clothes and hung them from the ceiling in his room.
"Do you think this is funny?", he had gritted at Arthur who had stood there, smirking at the doorway while wearing a white t-shirt that stretched deliciously across his chest - and Merlin was getting distracted.
"Well consider it payback for this morning, Merlin"
And then it had only escalated from there. They had gotten competitive with it. More obnoxious alarm tunes, tiny dragons drawn over all his pairs of boxers, baking soda in place of sugar, balloons in his bed, the list went on. Merlin gave back as good as he got and that brought them to the present day, where Merlin was struggling to get through his morning and was willing to admit that things had gotten slightly out of hand.
Present Day
Giving up on his morning as a lost cause, Merlin makes his way to the library instead to get some studying done with Gwen.
"God, you're a lifesaver, Gwen." Merlin moans as he gulps down the coffee Gwen has bought for him. "Seriously, I'll switch teams. Marry me."
"Aw, I wouldn't want to come in the way of you and Arthur."
"There is no me and Arthur. He is an absolute ass, did I tell you he finished my favourite tea this morning? And had the audacity to leave me a smiley face post-it?"
"I told you. The two of you are just like little kids on the playground pulling on each other's pigtails. The flirting's adorable. You should ask him out."
"And I told you he is an absolute prat. He probably spends his weekends pushing little old ladies onto the road and telling kids Santa isn't real. There's nothing going on behind that pretty face but evil."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "That's just with you. Arthur's in a lot of the same classes as Lance and I hear he's actually really smart and nice."
"That must be another Arthur then because this one's an idiot."
"Maybe it's your destiny to change that." Gwen teased.
"Or maybe it's my destiny to one day be convicted for his murder."
Gwen sighed but let the subject drop, for which Merlin was grateful. He and Arthur were enemies and enemies alone. They were barely civil on most days and every conversation was marred with creative insults. Gwen had no idea what she was talking about.
+++
He hurries home after class with revenge on his mind. Having drifted off mid-lecture during a discussion on 11th century UK, he had plotted the best revenge and was all ready to unleash it. Unfortunately, his plan to spray paint rude words on Arthur's door takes a slight detour upon reaching home as he hears an agitated voice.
"I am telling you, father, this Economics class is too difficult. I have one of the highest grades in class."
A pause. "No father, I understand a B isn't good enough. I'll try harder I promise."
A sigh. "No father, I'm not seeing anyone currently. No father, I've not been sleeping around with any twinks. Yes, father, I understand my sexual preferences and lack of serious relationships don't reflect well on the Pendragon name. But father, what about what I want-" Another sigh. "Yes, father. Of course, I care about the family name and reputation. I'll try to do better."
"Will you be coming home for Christmas?" Another pause. "No, of course, you have to focus on the contract. It is very important for Pendragon and Co. I'll stay here at university then, study ahead of class. Yes yes, it's a good opportunity for me to raise that B grade. Yes. Yes, father. Goodbye."
Merlin hears the sound of Arthur hurling his phone against the wall. Quiet sobbing sounds fill the air and Merlin feels a stab of sympathy. He knew Arthur and his father didn't share a very good relationship but this is the first time he has witnessed any kind of emotional outburst from Arthur. While his own father has been long dead, they shared a wonderful and loving relationship up until he was eight. To be berated thus from the most important figure in Arthur's life must hurt quite a bit.
Sighing, Merlin stashes away the can of spray paint as he contemplates what to do. On the one hand, he and Arthur are hardly friends or even civil most of the time. It would be socially acceptable if he were to mind his own business and pretend he hadn't heard a thing. On the other hand, he feels really sorry for Arthur and the sobbing sounds are a bit pitiful.
With his conscience winning the battle, he grabs the box of chocolate chip cookies that his mum had sent him last month from their hiding place and carefully places them outside Arthur's door with a note - Mum made them. She says they taste like her hugs and it looks like you could really use some hugs right now :)
He carefully knocks on the door and waits in the doorway of his own room to watch. A few moments later, Arthur opens the door and picks up the cookies. He reads the note and glances up at Merlin, a small smile on his face. Merlin returns a matching smile and retreats into his room, glad to have successfully cheered Arthur up.
And that was that. Or so Merlin thought. Only it appeared that the cookies had been interpreted as a gesture of peace, bringing their long, competitive revenge war (read: harmless, childish pranks) to an end.
The next day, Merlin wakes up to fresh coffee brewing in the pot. Suspicious at first, Merlin pokes and prods at the coffee before realizing it was as innocent as the post-it note stuck on the bottom of the carafe. He carefully plucks the post-it - a thank you with a tiny red dragon scribbled on it - and smiles at it. Glancing around to make sure he's alone, he pockets the little note for later.
His good mood lasts all morning and even improves when he realizes mid-way through lunch that there had been no obnoxious alarm tunes that morning.
Coffee turns into a new box of his favourite tea and then into a tiny red neckerchief on a cold morning, and then into expensive dark chocolate that he recalls maybe mentioning once to Gwen over the phone and so on. In turn, he gets Arthur more of his mom's homemade baked goods, a red hoodie that he found in the thrift store that reminded him of Arthur, a bottle of Arthur's expensive shampoo that he had destroyed with slime before, and so on. It helps that Arthur gives him more of those shy smiles in exchange for each present, which further spurs Merlin's drive to outdo Arthur in gift-giving. Before he knows it, the two of them have been leaving each other presents for over a month and Merlin's unsure how to deal with this strange bout of niceness. Their conversations on the other hand still remain marred with insults but the banter seems to have taken a more flirtatious turn which is driving Merlin insane. Take this morning for example -
"Thanks for the new bottle of shampoo, only fair you buy it since you destroyed the previous one."
"You're welcome. Your hair looks good today for a royal prat, at least. Your admirers will want to thank me", teased Merlin.
"It looks good every day."
"With comebacks like that, you make flirting very hard, you know. I pity the people who must have to converse with you."
"You make me very hard." Arthur winked.
"And that's how you flirt, Merlin. I'm sure even someone as slow as you will pick it up eventually with me as your teacher." And with that, Arthur had casually strolled out of the room, leaving Merlin to fight back a blush on his own.
It was one thing to ignore his physical attraction to Arthur when Arthur was being mean to him. But now that Arthur was deliberately going out of his way to be nice to him and flirting with him and doing that thing with his eyes where they would crinkle when he smiled like that- And Merlin was getting off track. This is exactly how he was being driven insane. How was he expected to deal with living with a hot, nice, dickish clotpole who flirted as he breathed, left him presents and drove him out of his mind?
Only one thing was left to do. Well, two things - grab a cold shower and send an SOS to Gwen. Surely, hot, emotionally constipated clotpoles qualified as an emergency.
+++
"This is it, Gwen, this is how it ends."
"Oh calm down, Merlin. Stop being so overdramatic." Merlin was beginning to think that was Gwen's favourite sentence when it came to him.
"So you've got a little crush and he's not as much of a dick as you thought. I told you, Arthur has been really nice every time Lance and I have met him. I really think you ought to just tell him. From the sound of it, it's definitely mutual."
"Tell him? What, are you crazy? We don't even know if he likes me."
"Likes you? Why else would Arthur Pendragon be spending his time buying little presents to woo you?"
"Oh that's just because I got him the cookies, he probably feels like he owes me."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "Now you're being deliberately obtuse. Come on, what's the worst that could happen if you tell him?"
"Well for starters, he could hear me! And second, I'm really not looking forward to being kicked out of the housing hall just because I got too carried away over a box of gourmet teas and planted one on a straight bloke."
"Well then lucky for you, he's definitely not straight. He was dating both Vivienne and Gwaine last semester, so he's at least bi."
"Okay fine, maybe he is bi, but that doesn't mean he would automatically be interested in me. He's rich, fit and top of his class. And I'm just me. Why on earth would he be interested in someone like me?" Merlin retorted.
"Oh wake up and smell the coffee, Merlin! Guys like Arthur Pendragon don't just spend 500 pounds on expensive dark chocolate just because they overheard their "roommate" mention it once over a call. He is clearly into you and as he should be as well. You're smart, funny and adorable too, don't sell yourself short. Ask him out now before you lose your chance forever."
+++
Merlin contemplates asking Arthur out but chickens out. He still can't fathom how someone like Arthur Pendragon could be into him. Gwen must have it wrong, there was nothing but politeness and friendship between them. The gifts continue on and Merlin continues to keep his feelings tucked away in the corner of his mind. He keeps practising in his head how he may go about asking Arthur out should the situation ever arise but never brings it into action. In the end, all his practising is moot as it all goes down in the most chaotic way possible, which Merlin thinks is fitting given the general state of his life thus far.
He's having a bad week. His professor is giving him a hard time over his progress with his thesis. There's been water leaking from the ceiling in his bedroom for two days now which the university plumber is too busy to fix. The anniversary of his dad's death has been slowly creeping up on him and while his dad's long passed away, it never seems to hurt any less.
And worst of all, he went into the university coffee shop yesterday and came across Arthur cosying up with a gorgeous, dark-haired girl. She seemed to be mocking Arthur for something while Arthur unsuccessfully tried to snatch a piece of paper from her hand. The two had seemed really close, all huddled up together in the coffee shop, laughing it up while Merlin had stared miserably.
Probably talking about what beautiful modelesque babies they would make with their combined gene pool, he thinks viciously as he stabs his salad. He has no one to blame but himself for not taking a chance with Arthur when he had his undivided attention. But it was simply unfair that Arthur had chosen someone so breathtaking to replace him. Further proof that not only was Merlin not in the same league of people as Arthur dated, he apparently wasn't even playing the same game.
The week absolutely sucks. Merlin wants nothing more than to go back to his room, crawl into bed with a tub of ice cream and let out the tears he has been holding in all day. However, his plans take a slight detour when he gets home, as is the norm.
Unmitigated chaos.
There are no other words Merlin can use to succinctly describe what he sees once he gets home. There's flour all over the kitchen counter. Eggshells litter the ground. He sees suspicious black slime all over the fridge and the smell of burnt chocolate permeates the air. In the middle of all the mess, stands Arthur, covered in flour, holding a tray of charred chocolate muffins.
"Uh surprise?" Arthur smiles weakly and holds up the tray for Merlin.
Plink.
A drop of egg yolk falls on Arthur's shoulder. Merlin bites his lip as he glances up at the ceiling.
Five egg yolks are smashed on the ceiling. Totally normal. Happens all the time. He glances back down at his flour-covered roommate again. He bites his lip harder.
And then he can hold it in no longer. It starts with a tiny snort and before he knows it, it turns into a full-bodied laugh.
Arthur pouts at him which only serves to make Arthur look more adorable. "Hey! I tried my best."
Eventually, once he can breathe again and has his laughter under control, he asks, "What's the occasion?"
"Well, you looked like you could use some cheering up. You've been moping around all week, so I bribed my sister for her double chocolate muffin recipe."
Merlin melts. How can he not? No one but his mum has ever baked him something before just because he seemed a little down. He takes a bite out of one of the muffins and moans. While slightly burnt, they're absolutely heavenly. Having his kitchen in disarray is totally worth it if this is the result.
Unbidden, his mouth says, "God, I love you, Arthur."
And then his brain catches up with his mouth.
Oh.
Arthur has turned a dull red and looks both striking and adorable as he fights off a blush. Encouraged by his reaction and steeling his nerves, Merlin steps forward and gently presses his lips against Arthur's. Arthur's lips are slack for a second before he breaks away. Shoving the tray of muffins on the counter, he steps forward fully and presses Merlin backwards onto the counter, caging him in with his arms. He hungrily trails kisses all along Merlin's collarbone to his neck, up to his jaw and then his cheek, inching closer and closer until he finally connects their lips again.
They make out for a good while. Merlin can't keep the grin off his face through most of it.
"Been waiting for a long time for you to do that", Arthur whispers in his neck.
"Me too. You've been driving me crazy. Is it really necessary to parade around in your briefs after every shower? It's rather distracting."
"Was hoping you were watching. Been thinking about you, about what I want to do to you-" Arthur trails off as he kisses down Merlin's body and reaches into his pants.
"Arthur, you know what I just realized?"
Arthur moves his mouth away to speak, "You're still able to think straight? I must not be doing this right" and then renews his ministrations with his tongue with more vigour.
Merlin bucks in Arthur's mouth and pants, "I knew it. I was right about you when we first met."
"What are you prattling about?"
"I knew it, you do look great on your knees for me-" Merlin chokes as Arthur swallows him whole once again.
fin.