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A Note to Light Up Your Day

Summary:

When you are feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there’s a moron pushing a door that says pull.” Nishinoya read out loud, confusion evident on his face. “What’s that supposed to be? Are you writing down quotes you pick up?” Suga let out a good natured laugh and shook his head.

“It wasn't written by me, these kinds of notes just started to appear in my locker a few weeks ago.” Tanaka gaped at Suga, looking at him in disbelief.

“You’ve been receiving random notes from a stranger?” He exclaimed out loud, turning to Nishinoya who was looking at his best friend as well. “Could it be…”, Tanaka started and an excited glint appeared in Nishinoya’s eyes. “—a secret admirer?”

 

In which Daichi just wanted to be a good friend but soon had to realise that his feelings were a little bit more complicated.

Notes:

This is my contribution to the HQ Valentine's day Exchange for @LittleBear2601!!!
Thank you for the fun prompt, I hope you'll like it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Raucous laughter rang through the Karasuno clubroom as usual. Even a tiring day of practice was not enough to deplete all their energy and they loudly chatted about new techniques and formation they should try the next time.

Daichi rubbed his temple at the volume, being impressed again by the seemingly boundless energy some of his teammates had. He for one was more than ready to just go home, fall into his bed and call it a day.

“Suga-san, something fell out of your bag!” Kageyama’s voice interrupted his train of thought as he pointed towards something on the floor.

Nishinoya picked it up for a proper look, Hinata and Tanaka crowding behind him to take a peek as well, urging him to read it out loud to them. Even Kageyama leaned forward slightly, seemingly interested in the whole ordeal. 

The only one not enthusiastic about the mystery note was Daichi. Because he didn’t need Nishinoya to know what’s written on it. One glance at the mint green paper was enough to make his hand become clammy, heart pounding faster against his chest.

 

When you are feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there’s a moron pushing a door that says pull. ” Nishinoya read out loud, confusion evident on his face. “What’s that supposed to be? Are you writing down quotes you pick up?”

Suga let out a good natured laugh and shook his head. “It wasn't  written by me, these kinds of notes just started to appear in my locker a few weeks ago.”

Tanaka gaped at Suga, looking at him in disbelief.  “You’ve been receiving random notes from a stranger?” He repeated his thoughts out loud, turning to Nishinoya who simultaneously looked at his best friend as well.

“Could it be…”, Tanaka started.

An excited glint appeared in Nishinoya’s eyes. “—a secret admirer?”

They high-fived as they faced towards the vice captain again, eager to get more information out of the flustered vice captain.

 

“Who said it’s a secret admirer?” Daichi blurted out, louder than intended, drawing all eyes in the room to him. Heat rose to his cheek from the unwanted attention.

“I mean the note was just a cheer up note, right? Someone could just want to be nice,” he babbled, trying to reason his point. To his disappointment he didn’t get his point across and only earned a disapproving sigh from Nishinoya.

“It seems like you don’t understand, Daichi-san. It’s most definitely a secret admirer. Who would go through the length of writing a note every single day to someone they didn’t like?” 

“And she’s probably too shy to confess her real feelings, so she fell back on writing notes to cheer her loved one up. Gaaah I’m so jealous Suga-san!” Tanaka added, pretending to wipe away imaginary tears. 

“Stop being so dramatic about it,”

Suga said as he approached them to snatch the note away, much to the other’s chagrin. “It could be like what Daichi said — perhaps someone was just being nice.” 

“Exactly,” Daichi nodded fervently in agreement, gaining himself a curious look from Hinata.

“But isn’t a secret admirer the more logical explanation?” He wondered out loud, “if someone just wanted to be nice, why not tell those things to Suga-san directly?” 

Daichi tried to counter it with something, but his mind was running a mile a minute and couldn’t find the words to rebut the first year’s question.

“Are you feeling alright, captain? You seem really twitchy,” Kageyama asked concernedly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I just think you all should stop pestering Suga about it,” Daichi dodged the question, keeping his eyes trained to the ground. “I’ll be heading out first,” he hastily grabbed his jacket and stuffed his training clothes into his bag. 

“Can you please lock the door Suga?”

Suga stared at him, opening his mouth to say something, but hesitated in the end, only giving him an affirming hum.

“Excellent, uh, see you guys tomorrow!” Daichi shouted while scrambling towards the door, desperate to leave the room as fast as possible. 

“Isn’t Daichi-san acting a bit weird?” Hinata asked the others just as Daichi closed the door.

Daichi quietly cursed himself.

He just needed to get away, far away from the others and clear his thoughts. Once he left the school behind him, he let out a sigh of relief, allowing the tension to seep out of his body.

 

“I’ll be home early I guess,” he mumbled to himself while trudging along the bustling streets, lost in his thoughts due to the event in the clubroom.

Did he overreact? Were they suspicious of him now if even Kageyama could see that he was acting "twitchy"?

He tightened his hands into a fist, thinking about Suga finding out that the notes were actually from him. Once he does, the purpose of those notes would be void and he couldn’t let that happen.




 

Daichi locked up the clubroom, humming a soft tune as he made his way home. His peace and quiet got disturbed by a thud and cackling laughter.

 

“Dude, he’s a fag, ew!”he heard someone shout from around the corner.

He frowned. No one deserved to be called that and he absolutely was about to give whoever said that a piece of his mind. Daichi rounded the corner, his mind coming up with a lecture to whoever made that offensive comment.

But all his thoughts vanished in an instant, replaced by unadulterated fury.

Suga was shoved to the ground, judging from his scattered belongings, looking up defiantly against two guys in their grade. “What, are you turned on by a guy touching you? Gross.” One of them made a disgusted face while the other one laughed at it, continuing to throw more insults at him, Daichi honestly couldn't tell.

Every word the other said were nothing but a mute noise to him, his eyes only focused on his best friend.

His best friend whose shoulders were shaking slightly, presumably in anger -or worse - fear.

Oh, Sawamura!” One of them noticed him and turned to him with a sick gleam in his eyes. “Bet you didn’t know yet, but this -”

 

Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Daichi said through gritted teeth, his balled fists shaking in anger, but the other didn’t seem to notice and continued.

Man, I knew you would be disgusted as well, he likes-”

That was the last straw.

 

He walked up to him, grabbed him by the collar to pull him in and land a solid punch on his cheek, sending him tumbling on the ground.

WHAT THE HELL DUDE?” The friend shouted in disbelief while the other touched where he’s been hit, seemingly not understanding why he got punched.

 

"Don't you dare come near Suga again,” Daichi glowered at them menacingly.

The bully stood up again, glaring back

You’ll regret this, Sawamura, I’ll report you to the principal for that! Why would you want to protect a fucking fag anyway?” The one he punched spat out.

Daichi crack his knuckles. He was by no means someone who condoned violence but the urge to physically teach the other a lesson was far too tempting. “You-”

Daichi.”

Suga's voice pierced through the fog of rage clouding his mind. He felt his friend grabbing his arm, stopping him from going forward. 

Suga glared at the bullies. “If you report Daichi I will report you for harassing someone about their sexual orientation. That wouldn’t go so well for you since the school has been advocating for inclusion for anyone, wouldn’t it.” 

The bullies contemplated Suga’s word, seemingly understanding that it wasn’t going to turn out in their favour.

Fuck you, who wants to bother with you anyways,” one of them spat out before they left, not without throwing a slur of insults at Daichi.

Frankly, Daichi couldn’t care less about them.

 

As soon as the bullies left their sight, Suga let go of Daichi’s arm, giving him an apologetic smile. 

Sorry you had to witness this, I-.”

 

Don’t.” Daichi interrupted his friend.

 

Don’t ever apologise for something like that.” Suga didn’t reply, his gaze dropping to the ground, trying to avoid Daichi’s eyes, but it was too late.

 

Daichi already saw the hurt that was reflected through those grey eyes.

Am I…” Suga started hesitantly, balling his hands into fists. “Am I disgusting to you as well,” he asked in a small voice, his lip quivering with every word, seemingly afraid of his friend’s judgement.

 

Daichi has never seen his friend in this state. This was his best friend. His cheeky, intelligent vice captain that cared about everyone more than himself. How could anyone make him feel this small and insecure?

Daichi gently reached out to touch Suga’s shoulder. His friend didn’t look up, but also didn’t seem to reject his touch, so Daichi gently pulled him into an embrace, desperately trying to give some warmth and security to his friend who started shaking from holding back tears.

I could never be disgusted by you.” Daichi said firmly, squeezing his arms a bit tighter around the other to emphasise his point. “To me you’re the kindest and most beautiful person in the world and a friend that I couldn’t live without. Don’t let those bastards that don’t even know you talk you down like that.”

Suga gave a shaky laugh and gently pulled away from the hug. “I appreciate the sentiment Daichi, but you’re my friend,” he looked away again. “You’re kind of obligated to say all these things to cheer me up and while I want to believe your words, it doesn’t change the fact about how I’m perceived as disgusting by others just because of whom I am attracted to.”

 


 

After the incident, Suga stayed at home for a week, claiming to be ill. No matter how much Daichi tried to reach out, he only got texts back that were reassuring him that he was alright when he was clearly not. Daichi even copied his notes and brought that up as an excuse to come over, but his mother rejected him at the door, thanking him for letting Suga review his notes, telling him to give him some time. 

When Suga came back to school he tried his best to act normal again, but Daichi could tell that he was still feeling down. 

A smile a bit too wide. 

Instinctive aversion to physical touch. 

His friend was still hurting and no matter what Daichi did, it didn’t seem to register completely with Suga.

 

You’re kind of obligated to say all these things.

 

Those words came back to him and Daichi, knowing that no matter what he did, his words won’t reach his friend the way they’re supposed to.

As he desperately thought of any way to help, a thought popped into his mind.

What if his words were relayed to Suga without him knowing that they were from him?

Words from someone not obligated to be supportive of him?

 

Thus he came up with the idea of slipping a note into Suga’s locker before the other arrived.

At first he thought that his efforts won’t make a difference, but when Suga read the first note from him and a genuine smile bloomed on his face, Daichi wanted to do nothing more than to keep that smile going. So he kept coming to school earlier than usual to slip those notes to his friend.

 

He never thought someone could see them as something else than cheer up notes. Now that he thought about it, Nishinoya’s comment made sense. If someone were to tell him that some mysterious stranger left him a note every day, he would probably think about an admirer as well. But that was never his intention. He didn’t harbour romantic feelings for Suga. Objectively speaking, his notes were strictly about cheering the other up and stupid jokes he may have looked up online when he ran out of ideas. They were never meant to be love notes.

Daichi shook his head to clear his mind. He was probably just overthinking again. Suga obviously didn’t think too much into it and that’s all that mattered. He’ll just stop sending notes to him for a while and everything will go back to normal.

 


 

“I got another note today.” Suga said during their lunch break as he pulled out a note, written on familiar mint green paper. “ Prince charming has nothing on you. ” Daichi choke on his own food, coughing violently. Asahi immediately scooted over to pat his back, helping him calm down. 

“Geez, you don’t have to be that appalled by a compliment to me,” Suga pouted, handing a water bottle to him which he gratefully accepted while muttering a thanks to Asahi. 

“Seems like they really are your secret admirer,” Asahi commented. 

 

Bullshit! Daichi wanted to scream. He didn’t write any note for two days already, so why was there a note written on the same coloured paper he always used in Suga’s hands? It didn’t make any sense. Who would conveniently start dropping notes into his best friend’s locker, shortly after he decided to stop doing it?

“You really seem against the idea of Suga having an admirer,” Asahi noted.

Daichi shook his head furiously in denial. “Of course I’m not,” he hurriedly answered. “It just seems kind of farfetched, don’t you think?” Daichi winced internally, not even convinced by his answer himself. 

 

But Suga persisted. “This note is obviously a compliment and they have been writing to me every day, almost nonstop. There’s no other plausible explanation, right?”

Suga’s eyes searched his questioningly, making him fidget in his seat.

“I don’t know, a secret admirer sounds more like something that would appear in a romcom movie, right?” Daichi attempted to play it off with a laugh, hoping it seemed natural enough.

Thankfully, Suga bought his little act, humming in agreement as he absentmindedly smoothed out the creases in the paper.

 

“You’re right, but wouldn’t it be sweet as well?” He looked directly into Daichi’s eyes. “Having someone to care so much about you that they make the effort to come up with something every day, diligently arriving at school before me, which is a lot earlier mind you, just to not get caught by me?”

Daichi prayed that the distance between Suga and him was far enough because he could swear that if Suga just leaned slightly forward, he could hear the loud thrumming of his heart as he got more nervous with each word Suga said.

 

“I think it’s incredibly sweet. You seem livelier as well ever since you’ve started receiving the notes.” Asahi said, oblivious about Daichi’s predicament. “Would you ever consider giving them a chance if they were to ask you out?”

Daichi whipped his head towards Asahi, giving his friend a glare. Suga absolutely shouldn’t go out with a person that is sneaky enough to pretend to be Daichi to woo his best friend. They’ll have to go over his dead body to even approach him.

 

“What, it’s romantic, isn’t it?” Asahi shivered under the captain’s glare, making Daichi feel a bit bad. The soft-hearted ace didn’t know how messed up this copycat was, it was unfair to show his frustration towards him.

“I don’t know, I would be a bit cautious about it,” Daichi sighed. “Who knows, it could be a creep as well,” he muttered under his breath, glaring daggers into the table instead of Asahi.

 

He couldn’t wait for class to start again. He has lost enough brain cells over this whole ordeal.

 


“What note did you get today Suga-san!”

Daichi sighed as Tanaka excitedly leapt towards them once he arrived. So much for not losing anymore brain cells.

“Suga-san got another note today?” Hinata, who just entered the clubroom, quipped curiously.

“We’re here to practice, not to gossip!” Daichi complained, making the futile attempt to deter them enough to not talk about this irritating matter anymore.

“Don’t worry Daichi-san, this won’t interfere with practice.” Tanaka gave him a reassuring grin, not knowing that it had exactly the opposite effect on his captain.

 

“I actually got a compliment today,” Suga said with a smile.

Hinata jumped up and down like an overeager puppy upon hearing this.

“Really? Can you show us the note Suga-san, pretty please?”

“Sure, here you go!” The vice-captain fondly ruffled the small middle blocker’s hair before he pulled out the note to show it to him.

 

“Woah, this is so…GWAH!” Hinata said, gesticulating wildly. 

“Exactly! It’s like what you see in those movies,” Noya joined in and swooned, making Daichi’s mood turning more sour by the minute. 

 

“Why are you guys so excited about it, it’s just a note,” Daichi grumbled, earning him some aghast looks from the others.

“How can you NOT be invested? Suga-san might get a cute girlfriend out of this!” Tanaka exclaimed. “Judging from the notes, I bet she’s really cute and attentive.”

“And probably really shy too!” Hinata added giddily. 

“Just imagine Suga-san’s girlfriend coming to our games to cheer him on! Or making him lunchboxes!”

“I think that’s going a bit far,” Asahi interjected. “She seems to be too shy to talk to Suga.”

“But she complimented him today, right?” Noya countered, eyes shining with excitement. “Perhaps she’s finding her courage to confess.”

 

Daichi’s whole body tensed up at Noya’s innocent suggestion. Just the thought of someone confessing to Suga, claiming something they didn’t do for themselves just made a lump form in his chest. And Suga didn’t even like girls! Everything about a confession from this mystery person would be wrong.

 

“Suga-san, what do you hope your secret admirer is like?” Hinata turned towards the other with curious eyes. 

Suga rested his thumb and index finger on his chin, seriously thinking about the question.

“I think I would like them to be kind and dependable,” Suga eventually said. “Someone who will always be by my side and support me no matter what.” A smile bloomed onto the setter’s face. 

 

Thud. 

 

Daichi turned away from the others, clutching his hand over his heart. Why did it hurt? Is it the thought of Suga, his genuine and kind best friend, giving his everything to someone fake? Did the thought make him angry enough for his body to react like that?

“I think that’s enough gossip for today,” he croaked out. “I want you all on the court within the next five minutes, got it?”

He closed the door behind him, ignoring all the noises of protest from the others, readying himself for the training. They’re definitely doing extra drills today.

 


Daichi woke up extra early today, positioning himself near Suga’s locker, trying to seem as unassuming as possible. Ever since yesterday, the thought of Suga dating someone based on a lie has cemented itself into his mind and he was determined to make sure that will never happen.

 

The first step was to find out who put the notes into Suga’s locker. 

 

But to his frustration, no one seemed to even try to approach Suga’s locker. Did the person back off once they saw Daichi in the vicinity? They certainly know who’s work they’re building their lie on then, he thought bitterly.

“Morning, Daichi.”

Daichi turned around to see Asahi, waving at him.

“Hi,” Daichi greeted back. “You’re here pretty early,” he noted.

Asahi chuckle. “Not as early as you though,” the ace looked at him with imploring eyes. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Oh, you know,” Daichi fidgeted around a bit. “Just woke up earlier and thought that I might as well just go to school.”

 

“So you’re not trying to catch a glimpse of Suga’s secret admirer?”

Daichi involuntarily flinched, not expecting to be caught red-handed.

“I knew you would do that.” Asahi turned towards his own locker to change into the indoor shoes. 

“But tell me Daichi, why are you so vehemently against the idea of a secret admirer?”

“I’m just worried they might be a creep,” Daichi defended himself immediately. 

“And you think Suga wouldn’t be able to deal with them?” He turned towards his captain. “I know you care about all of us, but you sure seem more snappy than necessary about this whole ordeal.” Asahi observed.

 

Daichi felt agitated. Of course Asahi would say that, he doesn’t know the story.

 

“Because I’m the one who wrote the notes before,” he blurted out before he realised his slip of tongue, covering his mouth with his hand in shock. But it was too late.

Asahi already looked at him with widened eyes.

“What?” Asahi exclaimed, earning him several glares from the other’s around them, making him duck in apology. “So it’s you?” he said in a small voice.

 

Daichi sighed, cursing himself for being careless, but now that it happened, it wouldn’t hurt to confide the ace into that secret to have someone understand his side.

"Yeah, it's me.” He admitted. 

“So you finally gathered the courage to confess?” 

 

Wait.

 

Daichi’s mind went to a full stop at his friend’s question. Why would he confess? 

“You’re joking, right? Why would I confess?” Daichi huffed out, not believing that Asahi would assume something like that. Asahi’s shoulders dropped in disappointment. 

“I just thought since you complimented Suga with the last note that you finally admitted your feelings to yourself,” the ace muttered.

 

 “My feelings for Suga.” Daichi repeated, still not believing what his friend just said.

“And with how Suga described you when Hinata asked about the secret admirer, I thought that you guys would finally get together after dancing around each other for over a year.”

 

“Hold it right there,” Daichi grabbed his friend’s shoulder, making Asahi tense under his touch, but Daichi needed to sort his thoughts, right here, right now. 

 

“You think I have feelings for Suga.” He stated, searching Asahi’s eyes for confirmation.

“Y-Yeah?” Asahi stuttered, averting his gaze. “You’re always by his side and sometimes just gaze at him as if he hung the moon, so I thought-,” Asahi started to ramble. “I didn’t want to assume, I’m sorry, it’s just that if Suga was sad, no matter how you started the day, your mood would turn sour as well and would only lighten once Suga felt better, so I just thought you liked him.”

Daichi thought about his friend’s words, his head spinning.

 

Asahi thought he liked Suga. Not as a friend, but romantically.

Sure, he worried and fussed a lot about the setter, but that was because he’s his best friend. It was normal to be attuned to your best friend’s every mood.

The look of disbelief Asahi gave him made him realise he said that last part aloud.

 

“Not to question your empathy for others, but I certainly don’t always stare at Suga when I zone out and know every small telltale about his moods and I know him as long as you do.” Asahi said. “And why for god’s sake would you write notes to your best friend? Who even does that?”

 

Daichi let go of his friend in favour of running his hand through his hair frustratingly.

“It’s a long story, but it was to cheer him up.” Daichi explained. “And I didn’t write the note that complimented him, I stopped when the others got nosy about it. That’s why I’m sure the one who wrote it has to be a creep.” He added, making the ace’s eyes widen in shock. 

“Wait, you didn’t write that note, but someone conveniently started complimenting Suga once you stopped?”

Daichi nodded, seeing understanding dawn onto his friend’s feature.

“That really sounds messed up!” Asahi hissed under his breath. “Who would do that? And they must have watched you very closely to get that timing down.”

 

“Which is exactly why I’m trying to catch them. I can’t let Suga be together with someone like that.” He said, glad that he finally got through to the ace.

Asahi seemed to seriously contemplate the situation before he spoke again.

“I don’t want to be nosy, but what if it’s actually someone nice? Or a real coincidence? Then it wouldn’t hurt for Suga to go out with them, right?” Asahi said carefully.

 

Daichi look at him in disbelief. “Do you really think that someone just coincidentally started writing notes, on the same paper I use when I write to him?”

Asahi remained stubborn.“I wouldn’t rule it out and even if that were the case, Suga can take care of this himself, I don’t think we should decide for him what’s the right thing to do.”

“Did you not hear what I said? That person is cunning-”

 

“Who is cunning?”

Suga’s voice made them both stiffen, abruptly bringing their conversation to a close.

“Ah, good morning Suga. We were just talking about the vice principal,” Daichi swiftly said whatever came to his mind. Suga raised an eyebrow questioningly, but didn’t comment on it further.

“You should be more careful then, we wouldn’t want him to hear any of this.” Suga said, giving Daichi the side-eyes. “I thought you were the one advocating for it the most, captain.”

The amusing glint in Suga’s eyes made Daichi blush in embarrassment , knowing that Suga didn’t buy his excuse one bit.

“Let’s just go to class, it’s going to start soon,” he hurriedly said and turned around to walk towards their classroom.

“No need to be so grumpy about it,” Suga laughed good naturedly as he caught up with Daichi’s steps. 

 


 

Much to Daichi’s dismay, he couldn’t pay any attention to class. He repeatedly thought about his conversation with Asahi, his eyes drifting towards the back of his best friend’s head.

What would he do if it was really a coincidence and someone nice asked Suga out? Would he be happy for his friend? 

 

He tried to imagine the setter in a relationship. He would be an incredibly attentive boyfriend without a doubt. Daichi imagined Suga fondly smiling at a faceless man, gently swinging their intertwined hands back and forth. The faceless man leaned down to whisper something into his friend’s ear, earning a beautiful laugh out of him. 

Daichi gripped his pencil tightly.

The man would be the luckiest person on earth. But he couldn’t trust Suga with them. They wouldn’t know how lucky they were, they wouldn’t know how fragile Suga really was, they wouldn’t know Suga as he did.

 

Thud. Thud. Thud.

 

Daichi sagged down into his seat as the realisation sunk in. Asahi was right after all. He couldn’t trust Suga with anyone because he didn’t want to trust him with anyone. Anyone who wasn’t him.

Daichi groaned internally. Not only did he just realise that he had feelings for his best friend, he still had to worry about the bastard who started sneaking notes to his crush without his knowledge. He desperately hoped that it was a girl, so that he would stand a chance against whoever this mysterious admirer was.

 


 

Every time you smile at me I feel like the luckiest man on earth.

Daichi’s mood darkened rapidly. Not only did the note somehow make its way into Suga’s hands without his knowledge, the person just had to be a guy as well. So much for his hope for that someone to be a shy girl Suga would have no interest in.

“Was that note in your locker?” Asahi asked cautiously. They both knew that there was no way that the note made it into the locker his morning with both of them there.

“No, it was on my table this time,” Suga replied.

 

Daichi’s dismay against the mystery person grow even more.

“What a coward.” Daichi muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, Suga caught his words.

“Why are you so rude about it Daichi?” he tilted his head curiously. “Did you two actually try to catch my admirer this morning?”

Daichi froze, not knowing how to reply. Their silence was answer enough for Suga to start laughing loudly.

 

“He is most certainly a creep!” Daichi defended himself, blushing furiously as Suga hugged his stomach in laughter. “We can’t let a weirdo approach you!” 

Suga took a few breaths to calm his laughter before turning a blinding smile towards Daichi. “I think I’m more than capable of dealing with creeps.”

Daichi wanted to shake his friend repeatedly at his casual dismissal about this serious matter.

“And you guys are honestly too sweet, being that protective of me.” Suga continued, his voice turning fond.

“It was mainly Daichi.” Daichi sent his friend a betrayed glare. How could he sell him out like that.

 

“Aw, don’t worry captain!” Suga patted Daichi’s shoulder. “I promise I’ll be careful about all this. And after all, I know I have a dependable friend to rely on otherwise, right?”

“Yeah,” Daichi grumbled, too embarrassed to look at his friend properly. 

“I think we should just catch the idiot to make this whole mystery end. I hate worrying so much about the what ifs,” Daichi said. He wanted this potential rival to be out of the picture as soon as possible so that he can actually think of ways to deal with his crush.

Suga hummed in contemplation.

“Of course I’m curious, but there is a reason why the person is not directly talking to me, right? Wouldn’t it be rude for me to force an encounter when they obviously don’t feel ready to face me?”

“It’s not the time to be considerate if the person is being a creep.”

“And why do you insist on the person being a creep?” Suga’s grey eyes looked into Daichi’s imploringly.

“They haven’t overstepped any boundaries and have been nothing but sweet to me. Why should I confront them like that?”

 

Daichi couldn’t answer this. Answering would mean admitting that he was the one who wrote the notes which would put him in the spot to confess and he really wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Daichi, you’re really worrying too much” Suga put one hand on his shoulder with the intention to reassure him but all Daichi could hear was his rapid heartbeat.

He truly was in trouble.

 


 

The next few days were pure torture for Daichi.

He was convinced that being in love with your best friend was the worst thing ever. Especially when said friend was Sugawara Koushi who loves to show physical affection. 

An arm slung over his shoulder in a friendly manner that now makes him keenly aware of their proximity and how much better it would feel to have the boy in his arms.

A playful slap on his arm that makes him realise how much smaller Suga’s palm was compared to his, how easy it would be to envelope in his own.

A blinding smile thrown his way, making his heart pick up speed erratically and wishing to not look at something else ever again.

It’s basically a miracle that he hasn’t gotten too distracted by him at practice, the infectious passion and energy of their teammates spurring him on, making him able to forget his crush for a while.

 

Which is exactly what he was trying to do right now. Even though Asahi thought that he stood a chance with Suga, Daichi didn’t want to ruin whatever they had, just because of his recent feelings. He was scared since he couldn’t place his own feelings accurately yet. Since he only noticed his feelings with Asahi’s help, who was to say that this wasn’t just a phase? An infatuation of some kind? 

Should he really risk his best friend, one of the most important persons in his life, for some feeble feelings?

But it was really hard to conceal his feelings whenever Suga was in his vicinity. So he does the only thing that can properly distract him.

Training for nationals. 

Fortunately, his enthusiasm is met equally by the whole team, making their training sessions long, gruesome, but rewarding in the end.

 

But one headache remained and it were those damn notes that continued to magically appear from nowhere.

As he got aware of his own feelings, Daichi was even more determined to find out who the mysterious stranger was, afraid that they’ll spill the origins of the notes, intentionally or not.

But now that he tried to catch them for three days straight, he was beginning to lose hope.

 

At first he lingered around Suga’s locker again, but then the notes would make it to Suga’s hands in the classroom, but when Daichi changed his stakeout place he still wasn’t successful. At this point, Daichi would’ve thought that Suga was being haunted if not for the very real mint coloured paper that’s always in Suga’s hands.

The soft smile Suga always wore when he read those notes made his mind go crazy.

What if Suga really is falling for this stranger who’s basing his whole seduction game on a lie

Daichi’s heart hurt at the mere thought of Suga with someone as cunning and fake as this secret admirer, but he truly didn’t know what to do.

Daichi groaned in despair. Perhaps it really was time to ask for help.

 


 

“Suga is not joining us for lunch?” Asahi asked, surprised when Daichi appeared alone.

“No,” Daichi replied curtly as he plopped down next to his friend. “I asked him to do me a favour and talk with Takeda-sensei about the upcoming training camp.”

Asahi raised an eyebrow questionably, but waited for his friend to continue.

 

Daichi let out an exasperated sigh.

“Help me Asahi, I don’t know what to do anymore.” He felt a hesitant pat on his shoulder, seemingly to comfort him.

“Ehm…did something happen? Between you and Suga, I mean…” Asahi asked carefully.

“No, it’s that stupid admirer,” Daichi gritted his teeth. “I think Suga is falling in love with them and it’s driving me insane.”

“Oh…” his friend replied lamely. “Do you want to get between them because…?”

Daichi turned to his friend and gave him a look. 

 

Understanding dawned into the ace’s eyes, giving him a huge grin. “You’re admitting it now?”

Daichi nodded in defeat.

“I don’t want him to end up with someone else, Asahi,” he said in a small voice. “Especially not with someone like that secret admirer. I just can’t trust them.”

Asahi paused, seemingly thinking about his next words, making Daichi bury his face in his hands. He really didn’t know what to do.

 

“Uhm, I have an idea,” Asahi started cautiously, Daichi feeling his friend’s uncertain gaze on him.

Daichi nodded, encouraging Asahi to continue to speak.

“Why don’t you just tell Suga it was you?”

 

Daichi whipped his head around, giving his friend a look of disbelief. “And how do I explain writing him notes for weeks without presenting my feelings on a silver platter?” He hissed, making Asahi cower a bit.

But though his posture slumped a bit, his friend didn’t avoid his gaze. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with confessing. I still think you have a chance even though you don’t believe me.” 

Asahi took a deep breath before continuing. 

 

“Suga can only understand the whole situation once you tell him that it was you who wrote the notes. Because right now all he can see is you being grumpy about this situation without any real reason.” Asahi’s voice turned gentler. “And confessing is also good for you. You’ve been overworking yourself at practice. I guess it’s partly because volleyball gets your mind off of Suga, but I’m really afraid you’ll end up hurting yourself. It’s not just Suga you should look out for, it’s yourself and the team too.” 

Daichi let Asahi’s word sink in, nodding absentmindedly.

“I will think about it,” he said eventually. Daichi looked up to give Asahi a grateful smile. “Thank you. You’re a really good friend.”

 

Asahi laughed embarrassedly. “Don’t say that, anyone would do that.”

“No, you’re actually giving good advice and are really observant.” Daichi complimented him. “I just need some time to think,” he gestured towards his head. “Mentally prepare my brain for what’s to come.” 

“I know you can do it, you’re the most dependable and kind person there is, don’t underestimate your charm!” Asahi encouraged him, making Daichi smile. He really was lucky to have such a good friend.

 


 

“Hey Suga, can we talk?” Daichi asked nervously, fidgeting on the spot. Suga looked up and nodded mutely, waiting for him to continue. “In private? Do you have time to come with me for a second?”

“Sure…” Suga said cautiously as he stood up, waiting for Daichi to lead the way.

Feeling reliefed that Suga didn't question him further, Daichi tugged at his vice captain’s sleeve, pulling him with him as he walked up to the rooftop, his heart hammering in his chest with each step he took.

This was it for him. After this talk they will never be the same. If he was lucky it was a change to the better, but he was fully prepared for everything to go down the drain. He only hoped that his and Asahi’s assessment of their friendship was correct and that while it will be awkward for a while, it won’t affect them, especially their team too much.

 

They arrived at the rooftop that was fortunately empty at this time. Daichi let go of Suga’s sleeve and went towards the railing, trying to calm his frantic heart to prepare for what was about to come.

“What did you want to talk about?” He heard Suga’s small voice behind him, the uncertainty evident in his voice. Daichi wondered how the tone in his voice would change once this was over.

 

Taking a deep breath, he turned towards his best friend again, averting his eyes to the ground immediately. He reached into his back pocket to pull out another note in the familiar mint green colour, the paper he used to write encouraging words on when he was still oblivious about his own feelings. Now the words that were written on it carried the weight of his feelings, making him more anxious than ever.

 

“This is for you.” He stuffed the note into Suga’s hand, continuing to refuse to meet his friend’s gaze. He heard a small shuffle, signaling that Suga opened the note to read its content.

Daichi heard a small gasp from Suga, assuming that he finished reading the note. “Daichi,” Suga breathed out shakily and Daichi closed his eyes, ready to tell his friend what he has prepared the whole night.

 

“I was the one who sent you all the encouraging notes,” Daichi started. “I didn’t even realise my own feelings at first, it was just that after that incident you were so down and I didn’t know what to do and you said that I was obligated to comfort you, so I thought if you didn’t know those were my words they would cheer you up.”

After he started it felt like he opened a dam and he just let his thoughts run free.

“But I panicked along the way and stopped doing it and then this stranger just started continuing to write you notes that even complimented you, but you have to know that it’s just not right.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Iam the one who started notes and wrote them for weeks, I don’t know who observed me doing it and picked up on it but you have to know, whoever did that can’t be a very good person or they wouldn’t resort to pretend that they were the one who wrote all the notes to you.” He could feel his palms sweating and he tried to wipe it off on his pants.“And I guess I want to tell you before that creep that I like you and if you don’t like me it’s totally cool as well.”

 

“Daichi,” Suga’s voice interjected him.

But Daichi wasn’t finished yet.

“But you should know that this secret admirer of yours probably is someone sneaky and please think twice before you give someone a chance that doesn’t even want to face you and hopefully we can just stay friends, I won’t burden you with my feelings, I-”

“Daichi.” His rambling got interrupted by the soft, but firm voice of Suga, making him open his eyes for the first time since he started rambling. He expected a lot of emotions in Suga’s face.

Surprise.

Pity.

Rejection.

Even disgust.

What he didn’t expect was to see a smile gracing the setter’s features, fondness evident in his eyes. Suga carefully extended his hand to touch the back of Daichi’s, silently asking for permission to hold it which he gave without hesitation. He grabbed onto Suga’s hand tightly, staring at the beautiful expression on his face, edging it into his memory. Even if he gets rejected here, he’ll have seen an angel’s face and that was enough for him.

 

“I knew right from the start that the notes were from you.” 

 

What.

 

Daichi’s mind blanked, gaping at his friend who rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“You…” Daichi tried to form a proper sentence, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. “How?” He ended up asking dumbly, making Suga chuckle.

 

“Daichi, how long have we known each other?”

“Over two years.” Daichi answered automatically, not getting Suga’s point.

“And how often did we copy each other’s notes?”

“Every time someone was ill…,” the cogs in Daichi’s head finally started turning again.

 

“There’s no way I wouldn’t recognise the handwriting of my best friend,” Suga said, his eyes crinkling as his smile widened and a beautiful blush bloomed on his face. “Especially since said best friend is also my crush.”  

Daichi’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing his ears. “I’m your crush?”, he whispered in awe.

 

Suga nodded shyly. “Your first note made me so happy, but seeing how you didn’t bring it up I thought you just did it to cheer me up since I’ve been down those few days.” Suga started explaining. “But when the notes continued to appear, I started to hope you just might feel the same.” Suga let out a small laugh. “By the way, if your handwriting wasn’t a dead giveaway. Your reaction in the clubroom was, when the others found out about the note.” 

Daichi wanted the ground to open up to swallow him whole if not for Suga holding his hand and the knowledge that his feelings are actually reciprocated. But something still didn’t add up.

“What about your secret admirer?” Daichi asked.

 

To his surprise it was Suga’s turn to fidget a bit,

“You see,” Suga took a deep breath before looking at him sheepishly. “There never was a secret admirer. I wrote the notes to get a reaction out of you.”

Daichi’s jaw fell to the floor, not believing the words that came out of his crush’s mouth.

“It’s just, your reaction made me insecure again,” Suga said bashfully. “And you stopped writing the notes immediately and the only way I could think of to get a reaction out of you was to pretend to continue receiving them.” Suga’s cheeks started to be coloured in the most beautiful shade of red Daichi has ever seen and he couldn’t resist to lean in to kiss the apple of those red cheeks. 

“What am I supposed to do with you gremlin,” Daichi said fondly as Suga absentmindedly touched the spot Daichi kissed with his hand, looking at him in wonder.

“If you’ll have me, I would say you’re supposed to kiss me,” Suga answered softly, voice laced with love and affection and Daichi felt his heart reply to the voice with its own irregular beating. Basking in the knowledge that this voice was only for him, he replied with his own sincere smile, hoping it relayed as much love as he was feeling right now.

 

“I will have you for the rest of my life if I had any say in this, Koushi.” A relieved smile bloomed on Suga’s face which was as blinding as the sun. He took a step forward to fall into his arms which Daichi gladly accepted by pulling him into his tight embrace.

 

“I love you, Daichi Sawamura, will you be my boyfriend?” Suga asked earnestly. Daichi tightened his hold onto his friend - no, boyfriend - and nuzzled his face into his neck. “I’ll be more than happy to call you my love, Sugawara Koushi.”

 


 

I want you today, tomorrow, next week and for the rest of my life.

 

Notes:

Huge shoutout to my lovely beta reader and the mod team who have been nothing but supportive, I had a lot of fun writing this.
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