Work Text:
Despite Sizhui not having many memories of him growing up, Lan Qiren is still Lan Wangji’s uncle, which still makes him Sizhui’s granduncle. He knows granduncle retired the same year that Lan Wangji adopted him, and that he wouldn’t visit much after that. Either the old man couldn’t stand the absolute chaos that was little Sizhui, or he couldn’t make the trip to his youngest nephew’s home too often.
Sizhui also knows that granduncle moved from his nephews’ childhood home to a big, comfortable house as soon as those two boys he raised as his own were grown and that he retired. A house that’s far away from this town and this school with a family member that Lan Wangji trusts to watch over his son for an extended period — Sizhui knew granduncle’s was his only safe option for summer break.
Jingyi > ya sure?
Jingyi > how abt your uncle?
Jingyi > the offer to stay over w me is still up btw!!
Zizhen > mine too, mine too!
Zizhen > my mom adores you, yknow?
Sizhui smiles at Zizhen’s funny sticker after that last message, and types one-handed as he shuts the door of his wardrobe.
You > we’re sure, sorry guys
You > and my uncle is still working, so he’d be too busy to take care of me
Jingyi > so granduncle?
You > granduncle
You > thx though <3 it’s just a few weeks, you won’t even know I was gone!
Zizhen > TT
Jingyi > we’re gonna miss you sizhui!!!
“Sizhui,” his dad’s voice calls from the living room. “Are you all set?”
“Yes!” he throws his backpack over his shoulder, smoothing over the covers on his bed one last time. “Coming in a minute.”
“Hm.”
You > I gotta go now
You > I’ll text when I get there
Jingyi > drive safe uncle Lan!!
Zizhen > have a nice break Sizhui!!
He doesn’t reply, pocketing his phone and looking over his shoulder at his room — one he’ll not see for the entirety of summer break. Sizhui was never one with emotional attachment to places such as a simple room, but he guesses he does now, since this one was his primary confidant in the last few months. It soaked in his sadness or something like that, so he thinks it deserves at least a little bit of thought.
Sizhui breathes out, shrugs, and leaves to where his dad waits for him.
Or maybe not. He’s thankful for his room bearing with his pitiful self for so long, but when did it ever notice how was his self? When did it ever try to really look at him to see how he changed? When did it ever comfort his sorrow? Sometimes a room is just a room. And sometimes a room is not even that good of a room.
His dad gives him a nervous once over as he stops before him. “Are you sure you didn’t forget anything?”
Sizhui just nods.
“Your granduncle said he’s making dinner for us.” his dad reaches to fix the collar of his shirt, scrunched under the strap of his backpack.
He’s looking in the distance to not meet his dad’s eyes. And unsure what to answer, Sizhui nods again.
“I learned how to cook with him, so you won’t notice much difference,” uncharacteristically, he keeps talking, keeps fumbling with Sizhui’s clothing. “Maybe just the fresh ingredients. Uncle has a garden.”
Sizhui nods once more, not even listening anymore.
His dad’s hands halt, melting away from him at once. “Sizhui,” he calls. “Are you alright?”
The question doesn’t take him by surprise in the slightest, but he has no answer to it regardless. Sizhui looks up at his dad and shrugs, says nothing.
Lan Wangji sighs broadly. “We should go.”
Sizhui figures he doesn’t have to nod one more time, and just adjusts the straps of his bag to follow his dad outside. He rocks back and forth on his feet as he waits for him to close and lock the door, he doesn’t look at any specific place as they wait for the elevator, and he rushes to the passenger seat of his dad’s car immediately after handing him his luggage.
It feels terribly awkward, and Sizhui can’t imagine what it’s going to be like for three uninterrupted hours in the car to granduncle’s house.
It’s going to be a long summer break.
24H INTO SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui is inhumanely tired. He didn’t know he could feel this wrung out from doing absolutely nothing at all. He was drowsy since his dad pulled into granduncle’s car park, and out cold as soon as he was told to sort his things into his new room while the adults made dinner.
He didn’t wake up for dinner.
He didn’t wake up for breakfast the next day.
He opened his eyes just past lunchtime the next day when his dad had his hands carding through his hair, and he thinks he responded to his goodbye and request to call every day. And then he fell asleep again.
He wakes up when it’s dark outside. Sizhui knows it’s not dark just because of the drawn curtains since there’s a bluish glow that seeps in and bathes the entire room. He blinks, eyes somehow drier than his throat and heavy like twin rocks are hanging from his lids.
The last time Sizhui remembers sleeping for so long was when he was sick with the flu and the fever kept him under for long, drowsy hours at a time. But he’s not sick this time — at least he doesn’t think so.
Sizhui frowns, bringing an arm up to his own forehead until the back of his hand drops against it. It doesn’t feel warm, but his arm does feel numb and cottony as if he is a sentient ragdoll. His body doesn’t ache like it did when he had the flu, and his head doesn’t hurt either. He was just… very tired, it seems.
The screen of his phone lights up suddenly, and Sizhui flinches away from its brightness, but he does catch on the time: just a little over the late hour that he and his dad arrived yesterday.
For the entire first day of his summer break, Sizhui slept.
And somehow, he still feels tired.
Sizhui turns away from his phone, closes his eyes, and goes back to sleep.
TWO DAYS INTO SUMMER BREAK
The curtains are pulled open noisily, and Sizhui opens his eyes. Granduncle stands beside the bed, staring at Sizhui’s probably very swollen face.
“Come eat, boy.” he says
“Hhgnnfff.” Sizhui says, pressing his face into the pillow.
“No excuses,” granduncle gruffs, even though Sizhui hasn’t said anything, really. “I will see you at the table as soon as you freshen up.”
Sizhui throws his legs off of the bed one at a time, and the cool floors make his shoulders jump a little both times. He drags the duvet with him as he walks to the bathroom at the end of the hall, and he regrets it the moment later when he spills a little toothpaste on it, but then doesn’t mind it when he can bury himself on it again after he showers.
He’s careful not to make the chair screech when he pulls it back, but the whine it gives when he sits down is inevitable. Sizhui then looks up. Granduncle is already looking back at him.
“Good morning, granduncle,” Sizhui bows curtly, holding onto the duvet around his shoulders. “Thank you for accepting to take care of me. I won’t be a bother.”
Granduncle huffs. “Bother,” he pushes a bowl full of rice across the table until it sits right in front of Sizhui. “You are family, Sizhui, not some bother I picked up as a hobby. There’s no refusing to care.”
Sizhui holds his bowl with both hands, staring right into it as the warmth of his skin talks to the cold porcelain. “Granduncle,” he mumbles, his stomach turning unto itself. “I’m not really hungry.”
“Nonsense,” granduncle shakes his head, piling more food onto Sizhui’s rice. “You may not skip meals. You need to stand on your feet to help in the garden.”
He blinks, tearing his eyes away from the now colorful rice. “Garden?”
“Of course,” granduncle doesn’t start eating yet. “Wangji brought you to help with the garden.”
“I…” Sizhui blanches. “Granduncle, that’s not— I didn’t… it’s just that— it’s more complicated—”
“Eat, Sizhui.” granduncle interrupts, picking up his chopsticks.
“But—”
“Do not talk while you eat.”
Sizhui eats like he’s chewing on mouthfuls of sand while the silence pokes the back of his head like it did back at the classroom.
He didn’t know granduncle was unaware of his… situation. Sure, Sizhui’s dad didn’t mention anything about telling granduncle what happened, but he thought there would be an uncomfortable talk — a term of acceptance of sorts. That granduncle would leave him alone for the entirety of break and give him rest from the turmoil of the last few months, that granduncle would put down the rulemaking for just a moment so Sizhui wouldn’t be scolded for the stupid things he did and the more stupid things he would do. His plan didn’t include any gardening. Not that his dad mentioned.
Sizhui just wishes he could just be excused from the table and go back to sleep, but as soon as he’s done and the dishes are washed, granduncle hands him a change of clothes.
“Change, and I will wait for you in the backyard.”
Sizhui fixes the duvet over his shoulders, and begrudgingly takes the clothes — a shirt and a pair of overalls that look well loved and definitely used for gardening, if the mud stains are anything to go by — from granduncle’s hands.
“I guess I’ll garden.” he grumbles to himself as he drags his feet to the bedroom to change.
In the backyard, granduncle plops a big straw hat right on top of his head, lathers his arms in sunscreen, packs his fingers into prickly gloves, and shoves a sharp dangerous-looking instrument into his hands.
Sizhui looks at it, looks at granduncle, the anger seeping off of him as he turns more confused than anything. “What… am I supposed to do?”
“For now, you will trim the grass around the walkway and the door.”
“I thought we were going to garden…” his shoulders slump minutely, seeing vines full of plump, slowly reddening tomatoes peeking over granduncle’s shoulders.
Granduncle gruffs. “How can one garden with such a forest around?” Sizhui looks down at the barely overgrown grass, and granduncle clicks his tongue before he could form any thoughts out loud. “Get to it already, boy! My old knees don’t let me do it as frequently anymore!”
“Alright, alright, granduncle.” he scurries to the door and squats beside it.
But then he stops, twisting and turning the tool between his hands this way and that. Nothing seems to make sense — the concave inside of the metal stuck to the bright green handle has sharpened edges, but so does the outside, flat edge, and wow, that is an extremely dangerous sharp thing.
“Dad would never hand me this.” Sizhui mumbles to himself, hitting the tool against the grass unhelpfully to both the target and the boy’s mood.
Sizhui’s dad hardly ever lets him do dangerous things, because of course he doesn’t. He’s his dad, of course he doesn’t want to see his child in harm’s way, and of course he does everything in his power to protect Sizhui. Even if that means raising him too naive and too trusting and too good for his own good.
Well, actually, Sizhui thinks as he turns the tool in another direction that still doesn’t look right. Maybe it’s not that obvious or that simple and maybe his dad should have let him have some scrapes on his knees so it wouldn’t hurt so damn bad when he inevitably tripped and fell a higher distance than he knew before. Maybe, maybe, his dad should have homeschooled him.
“Hell.” maybe Sizhui’s dad should have taught him how to trim grass on a backyard so he wouldn’t do such a bad job on it.
Granduncle tsks, spawning in front of Sizhui, squatting despite his old knees. The boy lifts the brim of his hat slightly, and shoves the sick green handle into his granduncle’s hand so he can teach the dumb youngster how to do it.
FIVE DAYS INTO SUMMER BREAK
“Sizhui,” granduncle says sternly somewhere behind him. “The gardenias did nothing to deserve this punishment.”
“Sorry, granduncle.” he eases the force he puts into pruning granduncle’s gardenias, but the scowl doesn’t leave his face, hidden behind the brim of the straw hat.
He hasn’t been allowed to sleep for more than nine hours, and he hasn’t been allowed to use his phone whenever he wants to, and he hasn’t been allowed to garden with anything but the grass and the bushes of flowers, even though Sizhui has been getting good at it, and even though those tomatoes now look so red and so plump and so ready to be plucked and washed and be made into the most wonderful sauce for an even more wonderful soup.
“Sizhui,” granduncle repeats in that tone that now Sizhui recognizes as a deliberate blankness, so he braces himself for the storm. “Wangji says he hasn’t gotten a call from you.”
“He hasn’t, granduncle.” Sizhui has to willfully ease his grip on the gardening shears so that he doesn’t hurt the gardenias again.
“Hm,” he can almost see granduncle’s nod even though they aren’t facing each other. “Will you tell me why that is?”
“Granduncle doesn’t give me enough time to call.”
“Sizhui.”
The gardenias did nothing to deserve punishment, the gardenias did nothing to deserve punishment, the gardenias did nothing to deserve punishment.
“Sorry, granduncle,” Sizhui mumbles. “I just don’t feel like talking on the phone.”
“Hm,” now he can almost see granduncle’s eyebrow raising just ever so slightly. “Should I tell him to come see you?”
“No,” he responds immediately, flinching and almost snapping away an entire white button. “There’s no need, granduncle.”
“I see…” granduncle’s short steps hiss over the dew grass until he squats beside Sizhui. “Your father worries, is all.”
“I know,” he gives it his best, most careful snip on an overgrown vine, now that granduncle is watching. “I know.”
“And your father wants you well.”
No, he doesn’t, Sizhui bites his tongue. “I know, granduncle.”
Granduncle gruffs. “Do you, child?”
No, I don’t, Sizhui pockets his shears in his gardening apron, and starts collecting the vines that he let fall onto the grass. “Yes, granduncle.”
SIX DAYS INTO SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui looks up at the sky, cloudless and bright with the midday sun. “Granduncle.” he calls, holding the brim of his hat with one hand and the water hose with the other.
The water from the hose splashes on the grass, and the sound of granduncle’s shovel making small pits into the soil aren’t the only ones in the garden. There’s also the faint chirp of a bird, the neighbor’s dogs running around on their garden, and granduncle’s boots on the grass, also the leaves of the gardenia bushes catching the splashing water like an umbrella, and if the sun was any hotter, Sizhui is sure he’s hear his skin sizzling.
“What is it? Pay attention, you’re wasting water, boy.”
“Sorry, granduncle,” Sizhui looks back down at the gardenias, splashing the water more thoroughly. “Did my dad like gardening?”
Surprisingly, granduncle gives him a faint chuckle. “He did,” granduncle says despite Sizhui’s shock. “But he was terrible at it. Killed every single plant he adopted.”
Now that Sizhui thinks about it, they don’t have any plants at home, and his dad always looks nervous when he notices Sizhui lingering by the gardening aisle and looking at the baby succulents.
“Xichen was better at it. But he didn’t like it as much.”
“Hm…” Sizhui glances down at the embroidered name on the front pocket of his overalls — A-Zhan —, but then something else catches his eye.
He shuts the hose, dropping it to the ground and crouching as it falls, his eyes widening as they spot the tinniest colorful movement on a leaf by the white spiral of a blossoming gardenia flower. Sizhui blinks, shifting to put his hands between his folded legs and his chest as he watches the ladybug’s slow journey.
“What is the matter?” granduncle asks, and stabs his shovel on the dirt when he gets no answer. “Are you tired already, boy?” he complains, crouching beside Sizhui.
Sizhui shakes his head. “What else can I do, granduncle?”
Granduncle gruffs, putting his hands on his knees so he can get up. “You may get in and shower while I prepare lunch.”
“Okay.” he mumbles, looking at the ladybug for a moment more before he stands up as well.
Sizhui stares at the pair of gloves he wore thrown over the pair of gardening boots by the door as he hangs the straw hat on the hook behind it. He thinks he quite likes gardening.
“Grandcunle.” Sizhui calls quickly as granduncle sets the table. If they start eating, then Sizhui won’t be allowed to talk.
“Yes, Sizhui?”
“You were a teacher, right?” he says, taking the pair of chopsticks that granduncle hands him.
“I was,” granduncle nods, pulling the chair for him to sit down. “I was also a principal for some time.”
“Hm,” Sizhui nods. “Hm… So…”
Granduncle only looks at him, seemingly waiting for him to finish speaking so that they can start eating.
“Uh. I… I just thought of it, that, um,” Sizhui clears his throat. One of granduncle’s rules is to speak clearly. “Nothing. Forget it.” he chuckles awkwardly, gesturing towards their food.
Granduncle still looks at him for a moment more, and then he nods curtly before he begins eating.
Sizhui sighs, slurping on the cold noodles so there’s at least some sound in the radio silence of granduncle’s dinner table. It’s fine, it’s fine, he doesn’t really need to say it, he can figure it out by himself.
ONE WEEK AND A DAY INTO SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui’s leg jumps as he looks at the dark screen of his phone. It was lit up, with his dad’s contact onscreen, but he stared at it for so long that it dimmed and then locked.
What should he do? He really wasn’t trying to snoop at all, but he had just gone to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and granduncle really didn’t hear him at all! Granduncle didn’t hear him coming so he didn’t lower his voice or the volume on his phone, so Sizhui could hear their conversation.
“…anything yet?” a voice awfully like his dad’s said, either on speaker or video call.
“He hasn’t,” granduncle responded. “Patience, Wangji. Your boy is having troubles he never had before.”
Sizhui’s dad sighed. “I know.”
Sizhui fumed, biting the inside of his cheek. He’s not some incompetent child, he can take care of himself, thank you very much! This is just… just a little bump on the road that he’ll take care of! By himself! Because he is self-sufficient! He doesn’t need principal Wang and he doesn’t need granduncle and he doesn’t need his dad!
He stomped his way back to his room, letting his presence known on his way, and he didn’t slam the door shut because granduncle said it is forbidden, but he does faceplant on his bed and kicks his legs like a prissy child. Sizhui also doesn’t open the door when he hears granduncle outside.
“Eavesdropping is forbidden,” he’d said. “Goodnight, Sizhui.”
Sizhui shoves his phone under his pillow, his resolve crumbling. His dad is really not helping out at all. If he wants to know about his son, he should call his son, not granduncle. Isn’t gossiping forbidden as well?
And granduncle…
Granduncle hasn’t given any indication that he knows why Sizhui is spending the break with him, or that he knows Sizhui wants to learn how to take care of the tomatoes on his garden instead of watering the gardenias. By the conversation that Sizhui just overheard, granduncle knows why his nephew’s son is there. The tomatoes and the gardenias, on the other hand…
Sizhui turns in bed, clinging the duvet tighter around himself and screwing his eyes shut until he actually feels like going to sleep.
That night, though, Sizhui has his first nightmare of the summer break — it had the big, gloomy gates of his school and a cold wind that wouldn’t go away no matter how many layers of clothing Sizhui put on and how many times he smiled at one of Jingyi’s jokes.
It’s fine, it’s whatever, Sizhui doesn’t care about it, he won’t care about it. He still wakes up at the time granduncle set, and he’ll have breakfast and then suit up for gardening, water the gardenias, stare at his phone until well after he’s had lunch, begrudgingly eat some dinner, go to sleep, and repeat the next day. It won’t be hard.
Granduncle seems to be vaguely aware of his distress and has asked Sizhui more than once if he feels sick, which he does not, he’s just a little queasy. And he’s been taking more breaks than he actually needs so Sizhui is by himself in the backyard.
With the red tomatoes staring at Sizhui from across the garden, he finds it’s impossible.
Sizhui stomps over, tearing the straw hat away from his head on the way and squinting through the bright sunlight. He stands before the vines heavy with plump tomatoes, arms crossed and gaze curious. What’s special about it, that granduncle hasn’t told him about? They’re just tomatoes, and they’re just like any other plant in granduncle’s garden, aren’t they?
They need water and sunlight like the gardenias, and a good soil like the strawberries, and attention like the green onions. So what is it about the tomatoes that—
“Ah!”
His absolute luck for granduncle to be just coming back when the neighbor’s dogs both suddenly poke their head over the tall fence and bark, loud and directly into Sizhui’s face, scaring the living daylights right out of him.
“AH!”
“Sizhui!” granduncle calls, hurrying to the side of the boy scrambling backwards on the grass.
Sizhui doesn’t stop screaming, not until he’s crying, and not even after granduncle shoos the dogs away and tries to comfort him with a hand between his shoulders does he stop wailing. Granduncle unties his own boots after Sizhui’s, and he carries him to the dining table, where Sizhui keeps wailing, “That was scary! That was so scary! I don’t wanna— the tomatoes anymore!”
He wipes the snot about to drip down from his chin to the dining table with his bare arm, and his cheeks feel tacky with tears and sunscreen, and granduncle doesn’t say a word other than, “It’s okay, it’s over, you’re alright, they’re gone.”
Sizhui still screams, even though they’re inside the house now and even though he knows it’s terribly against granduncle’s house rules. “Why did they do that?! Why did they do that to me?! I didn’t— didn’t— didn’t do anything wrong!”
Sizhui wails and he screams and he sobs until he gives himself a headache, by which point he has his face buried into his crossed arms over the dining table, shoulders jumping with each breath he takes. His throat feels raw and uncomfortable, his face warm and sticky — his chest still about to burst, though. Granduncle’s warm hand is gone for a second, and Sizhui hears the water filter, followed by the clinking of the spices cabinet.
“Sizhui,” granduncle calls with a hand on his shoulder again. “Here.”
“Hm.” he grumbles before he takes a shuddering breath, picking his head off of the table and looking at granduncle with red eyes.
They’re both still in their gardening clothes, sitting at the dining table, which Sizhui is sure granduncle abhors, but he has no energy to apologize now. Sizhui takes the glass of water granduncle holds up to him between both his hands, and only a sip of it brings a fresh wave of tears to stream down his white-streaked cheeks.
The water tastes faintly sweet, and Sizhui now knows where his dad learned to give his crying son a glass of water with a spoonful of sugar in it. Sizhui was quite the crybaby, growing up and until now. He cried after the first time he called Lan Wangji dad out of reflex, when he thought he was going to fall from the top of the slide at the playground. He cried when he fell from that slide on a different day and scraped his knees. He cried when he met Jingyi, because they were mean to each other at first. He cried when he realized Jingyi had become his friend.
He cried after the meeting with principal Wang where Sizhui overheard his dad defend him from his bullies’ parents. Objectively, it tasted terrible, and he hated it every time, but Sizhui’s drunk so much sugary water over the years, his belly always so warm with his dad’s care, that he feels there might be syrup in his stomach instead of acid.
“Sizhui.” granduncle rubs circles on his back and encourages him to drink the rest of the water.
He didn’t cry once, while his classmates bullied him. Not to their faces, not once he got home from school, he didn’t cry at all. And he finds, now, how much he missed the comfort in the horrible taste of sugary water.
“That’s it, you did good,” granduncle says as Sizhui finishes his water and puts the empty glass down on the table. “You’re okay now, Sizhui.”
Granduncle says Sizhui’s name almost the same way as his dad does, which is also almost the same as the way his uncle does. With something bubbling on the surface, an eagerness to have his attention not because he’s been dozing off in class, or because he didn’t pay attention to Zizhen rambling about his current topic of interest, but just because he’s… well, him.
Sizhui looks at granduncle with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and his fidgeting hands clasped between his knees. He has the urge to apologize, but granduncle beats him to it.
“That is why you shouldn’t tend to the tomatoes by yourself,” he says. “Lulu and Nina are very smart dogs. They are accustomed to my presence, but not yours.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me!” Sizhui wipes his face with the back of his hand and, despite himself, he chuckles. “Their names are Lulu and Nina?”
Granduncle looks like he wants to laugh. “Yes,” he nods. “Would you like to meet them? Despite that first encounter, they are very friendly.”
Sizhui sniffles, and he nods.
TEN DAYS INTO SUMMER BREAK
(TEN DAYS FOR THE END OF SUMMER BREAK)
“Lulu is the one with a white spot on her forehead,” granduncle tells him as they walk to the neighbor’s house. “Nina does not like to be touched on her ears.”
Sizhui nods diligently. While he believes it’s more useful information to know about granduncle’s neighbor than it is about their dogs, Sizhui hasn’t heard a word about them since granduncle started talking about the pair of dogs over the garden fence. He won’t pry, of course.
Maybe he won’t actually get to meet the person who lives in the house just by granduncle’s.
Granduncle steps up the front porch, and ushers Sizhui over with a gesture.
Or maybe he will.
There’s a doorbell just by the knob, but granduncle knocks instead. And, frankly, Sizhui could have predicted the reason before granduncle said it, “Lulu is skittish, she does not like the doorbell.”
It should be a little weird that Lan Qiren knows more about his neighbor’s dogs than he does about his grandnephew, but Sizhui can only find it extremely amusing. His granduncle is a strange man, in the best of ways.
A moment later, the doorknob shakes a little, and a scowling man appears behind the sheer screen before the open door. He frowns, somehow, and his eyes dart between granduncle and Sizhui. “Morning, uncle Lan.” he says, somewhat hesitant.
Sizhui is starting to think that Lulu is not the only skittish one.
“Good morning, Wanyin.”
Neighbor Wanyin leans against the doorframe, and his eyebrows raise a little. How does he keep scowling like that? Doesn’t it hurt? “You’re outta luck, A-Ling is in summer school.”
“Yikes.” Sizhui whispers to himself in sympathy. He went to summer school once and he hopes never again.
“We are not here for Jin Ling,” granduncle shakes his head, and puts a hand on Sizhui’s shoulder. “Sizhui would like to meet Lulu and Nina.”
Sizhui could swear he could see granduncle’s neighbor’s face actually light up like a cartoon. “Hm,” he says, at length, fumbling with the lock for the screen door. “Should’ve said earlier. Come on in, then!”
Granduncle suddenly pats Sizhui’s shoulder. “I will be in the garden if you need anything.”
“Wh…” he thought granduncle would come in with him. Does he trust his neighbor that much? Does he trust Sizhui that much? “Granduncle!” but he’s gone already, and Sizhui turns to face his scowling, quite scary neighbor.
Knowing he has two dogs named Lulu and Nina does make him less scary, but only a little.
Sizhui gulps, and he bows respectfully, if not hastily. “Nice to meet you.” he says robotically.
Granduncle’s neighbor blinks once. “And you. I’m Jiang Cheng,” he says, then clicks his tongue. “Just come in already.”
“S-Sorry!” Sizhui squeaks, skittering past Jiang Cheng.
The configuration of the house is almost the exact same as granduncle’s, and Sizhui tries not to linger because granduncle says staring is not polite, but there’s just… so many framed pictures. On the walls, on shelves, on the TV rack, what looks like a cleaner’s nightmare takes over every single flat surface made for showcase. It makes Jiang Cheng a little less scary, even though he still scowls in every single picture he’s in.
“This way,” Jiang Cheng says, with a different set of keys than the one he used on the front door. Sizhui follows him the same path granduncle takes to the door of the garden, and already he can hear the swishing of the grass under the dogs’ paws. “What’s your name again?”
“Hm?” Sizhui perks up. “It’s Sizhui. Lan Sizhui.”
Jiang Cheng seems to find that funny. He chuckles before opening the door, and immediately both dogs rush over to him, sniffling where they can reach — which is quite high — and jumping with their front paws to his chest. Sizhui thinks he’s about to get trampled, but can’t quite complain. Lulu and Nina are cute, even if they gave him a huge scare yesterday.
“So you’re old man Lan’s family,” he looks over his shoulder gesturing for Sizhui to come closer as he waddles into the backyard. “Are you Xichen’s kid?”
Sizhui shakes his head, not quite knowing what to say. He smiles when Nina stops right in front of him.
Jiang Cheng frowns, letting Lulu lick and nibble at his hand. “Lan Wangji has kids?” he says it like it’s impossible.
“Just me.” Sizhui is careful to avoid Nina’s ears when he pets her.
“Huh…” he sits down, and Nina scurries away from Sizhui to sprawl and nuzzle against Jiang Cheng’s thigh. “Didn’t think he’d ever marry. You kinda look like him.”
Sizhui sits down when Lulu trots over to him, afraid that she’ll actually trample him. “I’m adopted,” he says, leaning back when Lulu tries to lick his face. “It’s just my dad and I. He didn’t marry.”
“Oh,” Jiang Cheng says, a little awkwardly. “No biting.” he warns Nina, who whines, but obeys.
“How did you know my dad? And my uncle?” Sizhui asks before he can think better. He barely met granduncle’s neighbor. And he’s only there for the dogs, anyway!
But that makes Jiang Cheng smile. A little. Just barely. “We went to school together.”
“Ah.”
“Oi, uncle Lan,” Jiang Cheng calls, looking towards the fence separating their backyards. “I only have to entertain him until lunchtime, right?”
Sizhui can’t hear the hiss of the hose or granduncle’s shears, but he said he’d be in the garden, so he must be on his chair, reading and getting some sunlight. Sizhui doesn’t need to hope granduncle remembered to put on sunscreen or the straw hat, he always does.
“You will find out at lunchtime.” granduncle responds.
“Seriously!” Jiang Cheng huffs. “I don’t have much to work with here! I already said A-Ling’s not here! What do kids these days even do, uncle Lan?”
“I am older than you are, brat!” granduncle gruffs. “Ask him, not me.”
Jiang Cheng tsks, and he’s already looking at Sizhui when he turns his gaze to him.
Sizhui shrugs. “I’m fine here,” he looks at Nina, dozing off on Jiang Cheng’s thigh, and Lulu, looking blissful under his petting session. “Who’s A-Ling?”
“My nephew. He’s about your age, I think,” Jiang Cheng squints. “Like, how old are you, eleven?”
Sizhui holds back his laughter. “I’m fourteen.”
“Four— what?!” Jiang Cheng sputters. “Aren’t fourteen-year-olds supposed to spend summer break fooling around with their friends? What are you doing here with that boring old goat?”
Sizhui definitely doesn’t laugh this time. He grimaces, considering what he should respond. Maybe he should just say nothing. “How old is your nephew?” he mumbles.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t respond for a moment, but Sizhui can almost hear his confusion. “He’s eleven.”
“Hm,” Sizhui nods, putting his forehead against Lulu’s. “He chose good names.”
“What do you mean?” the grass hisses when Nina suddenly wakes up, zooming around the backyard. Lulu doesn’t follow her, though. “The girls? I chose their names, not A-Ling.”
Alright, this time Sizhui really can’t hold it in.
“What’re you laughing at, brat? They’re perfectly normal dog names!”
Sizhui laughs, laughs, laughs, leaning back on the grass and not stopping even when Lulu takes the opportunity to lick his face. If anything, it only makes him laugh harder.
ONE WEEK FOR THE END OF SUMMER BREAK
“Sizhui, your dad wants to call you!” granduncle calls from inside the house.
“Ah!” Sizhui startles, and Nina takes the opportunity to nibble his fingertip, but he scolds her gently as Jiang Cheng told him to do when she does that. He stays still for a moment too long, and Lulu and Nina hop away from the fence.
Jiang Cheng said he wasn’t going to be home today, and granduncle said he was too tired to garden today, so Sizhui walked around the tomato vine to pet the girls from over the fence. They seem to be already acquainted with him, and don’t scare him anymore.
A call from Sizhui’s dad still scares him a little. They haven’t talked at all since Sizhui got to granduncle’s house. But…
“Sizhui?”
But ignoring granduncle is not polite. Sizhui bites the inside of his cheek, his hands clasped unto the other as he pitters away from the backyard and into the living room, where granduncle sits, reading a newspaper and holding Sizhui’s phone out to him.
“Wangji insists,” he gruffs. “He says you do not need to talk to him.”
Sizhui wipes the sweat off of his hands on the hem of his shirt, and takes the phone from granduncle’s hand with a hasty bow. He scurries back to the backyard, and he knows it’s a little stupid, but he sits the furthest away from the door as possible. Granduncle is not going to snoop on him, and Jiang Cheng probably wouldn’t if he was home, but there’s at least a little comfort in curling up against a corner of the fence.
For the first time since the start of summer break, Sizhui calls his dad’s number. It rings once.
Then twice.
And a half time more.
“…Hey?” but the voice that picks up isn’t his dad’s.
Sizhui’s eyes widen, and his face jumps ahead of him, making him smile. “Xuanyu!”
“Hey!” Mo Xuanyu says again. “Hi, Sizhui. I wasn’t— I didn’t know if you wanted to talk to me or… or no, but, um…”
“Of course I did!” Sizhui nods even though Xuanyu can’t see it. “How are you?”
Xuanyu chuckles, a little awkward. “Better. I wanted to talk to you in person, but your dad said… uh…”
“Yeah…” he grimaces, leaning his cheek against his knee.
“How are you?”
Here’s the thing. Of course that, when people ask this question, it’s just small talk, it’s a way to talk about something mundane you’ve been wanting to. I’m good, my birthday is just coming up. I’m fine, I passed all my tests. I’m okay, I’m going on a family trip for summer break this year. Sizhui had asked in hopes that Xuanyu would answer honestly. And he did, kind of.
But Sizhui finds he has no idea how to answer it himself.
What does he have that he wants to talk about? What would Xuanyu want to hear about? Does Sizhui have any actual news to say? I’m good, I just feel like crap every time. I feel horrible, but I think I’ll feel better someday. Would Xuanyu care to hear about granduncle’s garden? Or about the meals he makes with the things that grow in there? Would he want to hear about Lulu and Nina?
“Um…” Sizhui bites the corner of the thumb of his free hand.
“Ah,” Xuanyu echoes. He seems to understand, and they’re both silent for a moment.
Sizhui knows Xuanyu wouldn’t be mean to him, but that’s not what he fears.
“Sizhui, hey, I called because I wanted to say I’m so—”
“Oh, no, no!” he snaps, immediately regretting it. “Sorry, sorry to interrupt, but you were gonna say sorry, weren’t you?”
Xuanyu doesn’t respond.
“You were! Sorry if I sound rude, but I don’t want to hear your apology, Xuanyu. You have nothing to say sorry for, none of anything that happened is your fault. At all! You can’t be sorry for something that you aren’t guilty of. And I don’t regret anything I did, not one bit!”
The line is silent for a few more moments, and Sizhui is sure that, even if granduncle or Jiang Cheng would try to not listen in, they’d definitely hear him talking if he keeps speaking that loud.
Sizhui curls into himself again, biting the inside of his cheek. “That’s… just what I think.”
Xuanyu, to his surprise, starts laughing. Sheepish at first, but then it seeps into his voice when he speaks again, “You’re so strange, Sizhui,” he says. “At least let me thank you, then!”
“You don’t have to…” he mumbles, face burning up.
“I want to!” Xuanyu clears his throat once he stops laughing. “Thank you for defending me even if you knew what could happen to you. I think I’ll never forget that.”
Sizhui squeaks, hiding his face between his knees. “That was more than just thank you!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Xuanyu says, not really meaning it. He’s laughing again — it’s good to hear it. “Thanks for calling, too.”
“Thanks for wanting to talk to me. It’s really too much, I-I couldn’t really do that much, in the end.”
“Are you kidding?” Xuanyu crows. “Don’t you dare say that! Sizhui, Sizhui, do you have any idea what you’ve done, actually?”
“Well…” Sizhui shrugs. He did say he doesn’t regret anything he did, so he should know exactly what that was anyway.
“Sizhui,” he huffs. “No one was going to do what you did, Sizhui, not even our teachers! No one would give me even a pat on the back, you know? And then you… You— you’re the bravest person I know, Sizhui. I’m not kidding.”
“…thanks.” Sizhui grimaces. He realizes he didn’t want to have to be brave.
If the teachers had listened to Xuanyu, he wouldn’t have to. Neither of them would have had to put up with their classmates’ bullying.
“I’m switching schools too.” Xuanyu says, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. My aunt thought it would be better.”
“I hope it is.”
“Me too! Um…” he pauses. “I hope it goes well for you too, Sizhui.”
“Hm,” Sizhui glances at the door, left ajar by him. “Xuanyu, I, um… I have to go. Sorry.”
“Oh, of course! I think I took up too much time.” he chuckles apologetically.
“No, you’re good, I just have to…” he pauses, thinking of what to say. “Help my granduncle, that’s all.”
“Ah, I heard,” Xuanyu laughs again. “Bye, Sizhui, see you around!”
“Hm. See you.”
FIVE DAYS FOR THE END OF SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui slept too much again. Yesterday, after the call with Mo Xuanyu, Sizhui sat at the dinner table with granduncle, who was suspiciously quiet.
Granduncle is always quiet at the dinner table, of course, it’s one of the rules. But he hadn’t started eating yet, and he was looking at Sizhui like he was waiting for something. “Sizhui,” he called. “Do you have something you want to say?”
“Um…” Sizhui bit the inside of his cheek, knowing it wouldn’t do much to keep the words in. “I just talked to Xuanyu on the phone. He came over to my house, that’s why my dad… you know.”
Granduncle raised an eyebrow, and nodded for him to continue.
“He’s… We’re in the same grade at school. I met him at the after school art club,” he fidgeted with his spoon, trying to look at only one place and to keep his voice louder than a whisper. He might have failed, but granduncle didn’t say anything about it. “And— and I didn’t know people were picking on him until I saw it. They… Xuanyu told me it was because he transferred from an all girls school and that I shouldn’t care, but…”
“But?” granduncle said when he trailed off for too long.
“I couldn’t stand it,” Sizhui bit, anger bubbling up in a way he had never known. “It was just… horrible. Horrible, terrible people! Xuanyu never did anything wrong, he was never— and even if he was, it’s unfair, so unfair.”
Granduncle hummed, a crease between his eyebrows. “Are you saying your friend was being bullied?”
Sizhui nodded furiously, wiping under his eyes with the back of his hand. “And no one was doing anything about it! I mean, I don’t know if Xuanyu ever took it up to principal Wang, but who would? I didn’t!”
He froze then, realizing what he had said the moment it left his lips. Sizhui blinked at granduncle, but he didn’t seem very surprised by that, only hurt.
“Will you tell me what happened after you found out?” granduncle asked, and it felt like throwing a hammer to a very fragile dam.
Sizhui took a very long breath in, and he told granduncle everything he could remember. “I didn’t—” he shuddered. “I didn’t know what to do, when— when— to me instead.”
“How did your father know?”
Sizhui felt an unfamiliar bitter taste on the back of his tongue. “I had to tell him,” he winced. “I was angry when he didn’t notice anything for so long. He wouldn’t look at me, he never asked me how I felt about anything, I—” Sizhui trailed off again, biting the inside of his cheek.
He knew he shouldn’t have said that, and that granduncle’s silence was probably him thinking about how to scold this pitiful child he has for a grandnephew. Granduncle cleared his throat, and Sizhui took the cue to look up at him through his lashes, embarrassed.
But there was no judgment on granduncle’s face. There was no anger. There wasn’t that face he always gave Sizhui when he treated his plants a little too roughly. “Well,” he said. “Did you tell him how you felt?”
And just like that, Sizhui felt like crying all over again as he shook his head.
Granduncle breathed the softest huff Sizhui has ever heard from him, and he reached across the table to pat the top of his head. “You can’t make your father guess how you’re feeling, Sizhui. It isn’t fair.” granduncle ruffled his hair a little. “Wangji worries a lot. He loves you a lot. I don’t think he would ignore you like that.”
Sizhui nodded, wiping his eyes with his shoulder. He’ll admit he’s been feeling lighter, letting out every last teardrop he has in him since the start of summer break.
“Yeah,” he said. “He wouldn’t.”
Granduncle unexpectedly pinched his cheek before sitting upright and picking up his cutlery. “Eat up now, boy.”
Sizhui did, going through the motions like watching himself from afar, only his own sniffling and the clink of metal and porcelain as a background noise. And once he was excused from the table, Sizhui wordlessly scurried to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas, dragged his feet to his room, threw himself on the bed, and fell asleep.
And so, he sleeps through the night, and for the entirety of the next day, which he only knows because granduncle tells him once he wakes up with another duvet thrown over his own and a cold towel on his forehead.
Granduncle puts a hand on his shoulders and helps him sit up so he can take a pill for his fever, and Sizhui is already half-asleep as granduncle lays him down again.
With his eyes heavy and a little sore, Sizhui thinks he can feel granduncle’s fingers carding through his hair. “Silly boy,” is what Sizhui thinks he says. “You are going to be alright. Don’t ever be ashamed of being brave.”
Sizhui falls asleep again before he has the opportunity to answer.
TWO DAYS FOR THE END OF SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui knows Jiang Cheng is watching from the doorstep as he crouches before an eager Lulu and gives her headpats for way longer than he needs to. Nina currently has the zoomies and is running around the two of them, so Sizhui is waiting for her to calm down so she can get belly rubs.
Sizhui is wearing two layers less since he’s out in the summer heat, but still wears a face mask and a scarf that granduncle wrapped comfortably around his neck before he left the house. Even bundled up like that, Lulu recognizes him, and he smiles even though she can’t see it.
“When’s your dad coming to get you?” Jiang Cheng speaks a little louder over the hiss of the grass under Nina’s feet.
“Tomorrow,” for sanitary reasons, Sizhui doesn’t let Lulu lick his mask-covered face. But he would, in a different situation. “Do you want to see him, uncle Jiang?”
He hadn’t meant to say it in a teasing way, but Jiang Cheng sputters, and his voice cracks when he says, “Hell no, you brat!”
Sizhui frowns, looking over his shoulder when he finds his footing again after Nina nearly topples him over. “I thought you were friends. I think my dad would want to talk to you if you were.”
Jiang Cheng clicks his tongue, pulling away from the doorframe and making to get back inside the house. “I’ll serve your old man Lan some tea, stay if you want.”
“Hm.” Sizhui shrugs, sitting down on the grass with his legs crossed.
Nina finally tires herself out, and she trots over to him, sniffing his hair and whining when Sizhui scratches under her chin.
Sizhui misses home.
Yesterday, he finally talked to his dad over the phone, and blamed his crying on his currently frail health, but he also realized how much he misses his dad. He misses watching TV with him, he misses talking about school and doing homework with him, he misses cooking with him. Sizhui might even miss cleaning up the house with him!
He’s thankful for granduncle taking such good care of him and teaching him how to garden and warming his feverish skin with a scarf and soup. He’s happy he got to meet one of his dad’s friends from school that he sometimes talks about and that friend’s furry friends. He’s glad his dad gave him the time to cry his heart out before he has to go back to school.
Because he has to. Sizhui misses home and he misses his friends. He doesn’t miss school — he’d exchange the rest of the school year for homesickness.
“Sizhui!” he looks over his shoulder when granduncle calls, and sees him pointing at the watch on his wrist.
Sizhui sags, knowing that means it’s time for the fever medicine again, which makes him sleepy, so they’ll have to go back home. He turns to Nina again, pressing his forehead against hers for a moment.
“Bye bye.” he whispers, smiling a little. He gives one last, generous pat to Lulu, who dislikes the proximity of Sizhui’s face with hers, and he gets up, scurrying to meet granduncle at the doorstep.
LAST DAY OF SUMMER BREAK
Sizhui hasn’t let go of his dad’s hand since he used his own key to open granduncle’s front door. He heard the sound of the lock all the way from the backyard, where granduncle had temporarily banished him to watering the gardenias again claiming that he’s still a little too pale, and Sizhui dashed inside after barely managing to shut the hose and take off his boots, crashing against his dad the moment the door was open.
He still has his dad’s hand in his, and he leans his head against his shoulder as he talks to granduncle on the living room couch. But at least Sizhui didn’t cry again. And he can type one-handed anyway.
214 unread messages
You > heyy
Jingyi > SIZHUI HOLY SHIT
Zizhen > language!
Zizhen > AGUYEIJSSWS SIZHUI!!!!!! HI!!!
Jingyi > SIZHUIIIII WE MISSED U SMMM
Jingyi > HOW ARE YOU?!!
You > good
You > I’m going back tday
Zizhen > oooh
Zizhen > can we see you today??
Jingyi > pretty please!!
You > I think so
You > ice cream place?
Jingyi > it’s a date!!!
Zizhen > totally!
Zizhen > I might be late because I’m helping mom with chores
Zizhen > she has visits coming over today heh
You > hey
You > I was going to say this later
You > but I’m going to move out
Jingyi > oh word
Jingyi > where to?
You > idk yet
You > maybe we’ll stay at granduncle’s until then
Jingyi > wait wait wait
Jingyi > move out Out?
Jingyi > like to another city???
You > yea
Jingyi > oh
Zizhen > oh sizhui.. :(
You > it’s okay, we can still hang out until the end of the year
You > do you want to help me pack?
Jingyi > i cant think of a more boring thing to do
Jingyi > ofc we do
Zizhen > yeah! :D
You > cool
You > I’ll text when I get home
Zizhen > please do!!
Zizhen > see you soon, sizhui!
Jingyi > soon, sizhui!!!
You > see you soon, guys
You > <3