Work Text:
Chandler hung the last of his laundry before taking one more visual sweep of his room. He’d come back in the morning to shower, change and head to work, but was good to head across the hall for the night.
Joey was out on a date, but Ross was watching TV in the living room. Ross was happy for Chandler and Monica, despite a few awkward moments lately. Goodbye kisses, hushed and giggly whispers, and shared looks made him squirm the past few days.
Chandler nodded at Ross as he exited his room.
“Hey, uh, I’m gonna stay over,” he nodded across the hall. “If you wanna take my room….” Chandler shrugged and looked uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his head.
“There are clean sheets on my bed,” he said simply.
Chandler had felt terribly guilty the past several weeks — Ross had been sleeping on their gaudy, pleather yellow couch while Chandler’s bedroom had been empty. Sneaking across the hall was significantly less risky than trying to sneak Monica in.
Ross made a disgusted face.
“Uh, no thanks,” he said gruffly.
Chandler shrugged again before heading out.
—
Ross turned over on the couch again. It squeaked. Again. He was still uncomfortable. He loves to turn over again, peeling his arm off the ugly couch. He sighed wearily, before throwing the blanket off in anger.
Ross stood awkwardly in the living room. Chandler was across the hall and Joey was out on a date - why was Ross sleeping on a couch when there were two empty beds?
He decided to check Joey’s room - he hadn’t offered like Chandler had, but Joey also hadn’t slept with his sister in that bed. Ross cautiously peered in. From the doorway, Joey’s room looked… OK. But when he pulled the comforter back, the bottom sheet was off one corner. There was no top sheet. The pillow had no case.
There was a stain.
Ross quickly threw the comforter back and left Joey’s room in disgust.
He slowly approached Chandler’s room. He pushed the door open and peered in from the doorway.
Things looked clean…ish. Ross could see from the doorway that the bed was made and the pillows had cases.
Ross walked in slowly and turned on one of the bedside lamps, illuminating the room in dim light. He looked around. He pulled back the comforter - and top sheet.
A bed is a bed, right? he thought.
Ross climbed into a bed, a real bed, for the first time in over a month. He sunk into the pillows, moving toward the middle of the bed.
He closed his eyes in exhausted bliss for a moment before looking around.
On one nightstand, there was a man’s watch. A handful of coins. A copy of last month’s New Yorker. A paperback John Grisham novel, open and placed upside down. An alarm clock.
On the other nightstand, Ross saw a copy of Cosmo. A pair of earrings. Lip balm. A travel-size Bath and Body Works lotion - Cotton Blossom. All neatly arranged.
He looked back at the other nightstand and picked up the book. An envelope was under the book. Ross debated, internally, before sliding it out. On one side was Chandler's messy handwriting.
Bank
Groceries - bread, milk, cereal, beer, bananas, chips
Dry cleaners
Pet store - duck/chicken feed
treats?
On the other side, Ross saw Monica's neater handwriting.
Good luck with your big presentation today - you'll be awesome!
Love you!
M
There was a movie ticket stub and a restaurant receipt under the book as well - apparently, Chandler had spent $50 on appetizers and drinks at the Irish Pub around the corner before taking Monica to see The Truman Show.
There was another crumpled receipt under the book -- a Diet Coke, toilet paper, M&Ms, Tylenol, condoms -- Ross quickly made a face before returning everything to the nightstand.
He looked around the room - a pair of women's flip-flops were by the dresser. There was a hair tie on the dresser, along with a women's deodorant. A lacy tank top was folded on top of the dresser.
There was a Polaroid of Monica and Chandler, dressed to the nines, propped up on one night stand. Ross didn't recognize the location.
Ross scowled. How did I miss this? Chandler and Monica had been together for months. They had gone on dates, fancy dates, met each other's coworkers, weekends away, all while their closest friends had no idea.
Monica's robe was hung over the door. The door was still cut in half, but Chandler had taped it back together.
Ross took a deep breath and moved to turn off the light. In the dark, his mind raced. How had I missed this? Yes, I'd been wrapped up in Emily - the wedding, saying the wrong name, trying to track her down, trying to make a long-distance relationship work. Then sabbatical from work and crashing on the guys' couch.
But Monica and Chandler had been weird. They'd shown up late at the hospital when Phoebe was giving birth. They'd both had work things the same weekend. There was a weird conversation about honesty after Phoebe's grandmother's funeral. You're reaching now, Ross told himself.
Had Chandler shared a look with Monica when Ross said they'd understand when they were married? Surely Ross was projecting now, seeing things when they weren't really there. Sure, he'd made jokes about being Chandler's brother-in-law and being the Godfather to a Bing-Geller baby, but is that where they were headed?
Ross shook his head to clear his thoughts. Had he made his share of jokes? Yes. Would he like Chandler to be his brother-in-law? Another resounding yes.
Ross loved Chandler, of course, like a brother already. But the thought of him settling down with Monica gave him pause. He tried to picture Chandler getting married, moving to the suburbs, and having a family like Monica wanted. He couldn't picture it - but he couldn't not picture it.
Would Chandler be a good dad? Probably.
Are you a good dad, Ross' subconscious shot back. Yikes, Ross thought. How is this conversation getting out of hand when it's solely in my head?
He turned over in frustration. The sheets smelled clean. Like fabric softener.
And Monica's homemade laundry detergent.
Had Monica been sneaking into Chandler's bedroom while Ross slept on the couch? Ross hoped Chandler had been sneaking over to the girls' apartment - but only just barely hoped. He didn't want to think too much about it at all.
Ross sighed heavily. With everything going on lately, he'd had trouble sleeping. He was exhausted, physically, but anytime he closed his eyes his mind raced. He tried staying up late reading. He tried going for long walks to wear himself out.
But in the dark, he was alone with his thoughts. Emily, work, Phoebe having her brother's babies. Chandler and Monica. Rachel.
In their little group of six, Ross thought he and Rachel were the love interests. There could be another one, he reasoned. It's not like there are rules for that. Maybe he was so blindsided by Chandler and Monica's relationship because it was so different from him and Rachel. Maybe he and Rachel were doomed from the beginning because the others were so involved. It was Ross and Rachel, plus their four friends.
Chandler and Monica were clearly more private. The six of them were a close group, but Chandler and Monica had apparently nursed this wonderful, healthy relationship on their own private island.
Under all of our noses, Ross thought. Maybe I am still a little mad. No, no. They're happy, I'm happy, he told himself. Ross ran through his to-do list in his head - packing, shopping, leasing paperwork. Buying a new couch. Now that I’m getting settled, thought, maybe I should write another paper for that paleontology journal? Eh, I should probably get situated at work and in my new place first.
He was getting sleepier and his mind began to wander further. Dinosaurs. Rachel. The museum. Ben. Emily. Rachel.
What should I get Ben for his birthday this year? I wonder how much Michael Crichton made from Jurassic Park? Once things calm down, I should do something nice for everyone. For being so supportive during all this.
Maybe saying Rachel’s name was a sign. Maybe it was my subconscious’s way of telling me something. Does your subconscious set out to embarrass people? I should talk to Rachel. Or is our relationship done, for real?
Maybe we could make it work this time around? He asked himself. Could I make anything work right now? Should I get a haircut? Or use a different gel? I need to call Mom to see if she's doing anything for Dad's birthday. Will Monica bring Chandler to Dad's party? I need to call Carol.
I need to touch base with HR and Donald to make sure everything is good before Monday. I wonder if Chandler and Monica have talked about kids? I bet Rachel knows. Things are so different now than they were a year or so ago. God, I hate the way the chicken and duck smell. I don't even know how Rachel feels anymore. Where's my birth certificate?
I'll talk to Rachel in the morning, was his last thought before drifting off.