Work Text:
Jesus and Zeus had feuded before.
Many
Many
Many times.
The two fought over everything, but mostly who is the most supreme god.
It seemed to many that the two were put on this planet just to fight, since that's all they really did.
But they couldn't help but want to see the other cower before himself, begging on his knees for forgiveness and to spare him.
Zeus thought the idea of Jesus on his knees was kind of hot, but he would never admit that.
Ever.
Zeus paced on Olympus, plotting his next scheme as Hera appeared, holding her head. "Can you turn down the thunder clouds? I can't get any sleep."
Zeus paused. "I'm sorry my Queen, but I have to figure out my master plan! That Christian twink is beating my popularity by 5 percent this week!"
Hera rolled her eyes. "Really? Just...throw a lightning bolt at him. He can die, right?"
Zeus frowned. "I tried that. But his stupid "dad" pulled some divine intervention bullshit. Besides, if he dies he just comes back!"
Hera crossed her arms and grew serious. Zeus faltered and stepped back. "Alright, quit acting like a child and grow up. You are the king of the gods. You can make him respect you!."
Zeus nodded. "Yes. Exactly like how I respect you. Especially when you are scary. Like right now."
Hera huffed and turned. "That hasn't stopped you from fucking anything that walks."
Zeus stopped, a lightbulb illuminating in his mind. "That's it!"
"What's it?"
"I know how to beat the twink!"
Zeus rushed off in a flash of light. Hera rolled her eyes. "Oh Tartarus."
Jesus was known for getting a bit too bratty after a couple bottles of wine, and this time was no different. So when his worst enemy, and secret wet dream, Zeus walked into the bar he was in, Jesus only got worse.
Jesus was all over Zeus the moment he entered the bar. He was too wasted to care, all he knew is that Zeus was sexy and had a huge wiener weenie thing.
'Perfect.' Zeus thought as he saw Jesus at the bar. His plan was to defeat him while he was drunk, resulting in a perfect victory for Olympus. He cant say that he was expecting the little gay Christian to be all up in his buisness at this small bar in Athens.
Jesus walked over to the sky god. "HEEEEYTYY MAMASSSSS" Jesus said as he shamelessly sat on Zeus' lap.
Zeus was shocked to see Jesus like this. He was in the perfect position to pin him down and win their feud once and for all, but his mind was more intent on pinning him to the wall and screwing him senseless instead.
"J-jesus, what are you doing..." Zeus tried to act cool as Jesus got more comfortable on the god's lap.
"You have nice abs" Jesus said drunkenly.
Zeus couldn't handle himself anymore. He picked up Jesus bridal style and took him to an empty room.
This would end the feud once and for all.