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"Hey, Dr. Banner. Sorry, but I can't hang out with you tonight."
It was only 12 simple words, but Dr. Bruce Banner was heartbroken.
How could Captain America say such a thing?
"But we're best friends!” Bruce whined. “We hang out every night!"
"I have a new best friend now,” Cap said. “Sorry, Bruce.”
"Fine! Be like that! I'll just find myself a new best friend as well!" said Bruce.
"Okay!" said Cap. "Hey, Thor! Let's go play!"
Bruce swore angrily.
"Your new best friend is Thor?!"
"Yes, Bruce," said Cap. "He's just been through some trauma, and he really needs my friendship tonight."
"So what?!" Bruce snarled. "He should just deal with it! He's too dumb to have friends, anyways!"
Thor started crying. His long, blonde, handsome hair was now short, brown, and ugly.
"First my home gets deleted, then my hair gets cut, and now I get bullied? Worst day ever!"
"It's okay, Thor. Come on, let's go!" Cap escorted Thor out of the room.
"I'll just play with my new best friend while they're acting stupid together," said Bruce. "Hey, Tony! Come over here!"
Tony ran into the room.
"Yes, Banner Nanner?" he asked, excitedly.
Bruce smiled. "It's science time!"
"So, Asgard is gone," Cap said to Thor. "Does that mean you're done believing in your silly fantasy world?"
"NO! Asgard wasn't a fantasy! But now it's been deleted! Where am I supposed to live?" Thor asked, crying harder.
Cap handed Thor a tissue, for some reason. "You can live with us now! We already have a room for you!"
"But it won't be as good as my room in Asgard!" Thor whined.
"Well, it's the best we can offer!" Cap said. "Take it or leave it!"
"Leave it," Thor said, forcefully plopping his big, sweaty body onto Tony's expensive, fancy couch.
The next day, Bruce complimented Tony's mustache.
"You are my best friend, and I love your mustache so much!" Bruce said.
"Yeah, I'm awesome like that!" Tony said.
"I wish that I had a mustache like yours!" Bruce said.
"Well, then!" Tony said. "Start growing one!"
"Oh. Okay," said Bruce.
It took an entire month, but he managed to finally grow a mustache. It wasn't a very good mustache, though. In fact, it was quite scrawny and ugly.
"Yay! Now Tony and I are the only two superheroes in the world with mustaches!" Bruce said.
Star-Lord peeked into the window. "Well, actually, I…"
"GO AWAY STAR-LORD!" Bruce and Tony said in unison.
Cap ran into the room.
"Guys, I have some bad news on Thor. He is still delusional!"
Thor was running around screaming, "Asgard will be rebuilt! Mark my words!"
"I will be praying for him," said Cap.
Thor spotted Bruce and Tony.
"Ah! Will you two kindly help me rebuild Asgard?" he asked.
"Ew! No way, loser!" Bruce said.
"Aww… why not?" Thor asked.
"We only help people with mustaches, like we do!" said Tony.
Thor cried a single tear, and then went outside.
"Oh, you help people with mustaches?" Loki asked, magically appearing in the room.
"Yeah, so what?" Tony asked.
Loki instantly grew a mustache.
"I have a few favors to ask you guys," he said.
"NO! NO! NO! NO!" Bruce said.
"Whoa, whoa!" Tony said. "Calm down!"
"No, let him get angry. I'd love to see what Hulk looks like with a mustache," Loki said.
"He'll flatten you like a pancake!" Tony said.
"What can I say?” Loki said. “I've learned to love the pain.”
"Oh, yeah? LOVE THIS!" Tony yelled, throwing Loki out the window.
Loki landed on Thor, who was walking by for some reason.
"GAH! What was that?!" Thor asked.
"Hello, Bruva," Loki said, smiling.
Thor shouted some Asgardian swear words. Then, he punched Loki over and over again!
"Aw… was it the mustache?" Loki mumbled, before falling into a coma.
The End