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Bald Cap

Summary:

Iron Man plays a prank on Captain America.

Work Text:

It was a very hot day, and Tony Stark had just gotten a new pool. All of the Avengers were swimming in it.

 

"Ah! This is just the exercise I need to keep in shape!" Steve Rogers said. He propelled his huge, muscular body through the water.

 

"Don't swim for too long, Blondie!" Tony said. "Your hair might turn green from all the chlorine!"

 

"Ew, ew, ew! Not my long beautiful blonde hair! I'm getting out of here!" Captain Marvel quickly left the pool.

 

"Just a few more laps!" Steve said. "I'm sure nothing bad will happen to me!"

 

Steve ended up swimming for hours, long after everyone else had exited the pool.

He's been in there for way too long! I have to find some way to get him out of there! Tony thought.

 

"Oh, no!" Tony said. "Steve, it's happened!"

"What's happened?" 

"Your hair! It's turned green!" Tony lied.

 

"GAH! No, how did this happen?" Steve asked, getting out of the pool.

 

"I told you that it would if you stayed in for too long!"

 

"Give me a mirror!" Steve begged. "I want to see for myself!"

"I don't think that you should see," Tony said. "It might be too traumatic for you!"

"Oh, no!" Steve said. "What should I do now?" 

 

"Well, it's never going to go back to being blonde again," said Tony. "So, you'll have to shave you head and grow new hair!"

"Fine," Steve sighed. "Let's get it over with."

Ha! He's so gullible! Tony thought, shaving all of Steve's hair off.

 

"So, how do I look?" Steve asked, nervously touching his bald head.

"You look great!" Tony lied, trying not to laugh.

 

"Thanks, Tony!" 

"Go show everyone your haircut!"

 

"Okay!" Steve said, running off excitedly.


A few minutes later, Steve came back crying.

"Oh! What's wrong?" Tony asked.
"Everyone made fun of me!" Steve said. "You said that I looked great!"

"I was only trying to help!" Tony said.

Steve then looked down at the ground and saw his hair clippings, which were obviously not green.

"YOU LIED!" he yelled. "I WANT MY HAIR BACK!"

"Well… umm… I…" Tony said.

Steve picked up Tony and tossed him into the pool!

"AGH! NO! My expensive fancy suit is all wet now!" Tony cried.

"Well, that's what you get for embarrassing me!" said Steve.


The next day, Steve Rogers had Pepper's hair for some reason!

Tony Stark approached him from behind.

"Hey, Pepper. I…" he started.

Steve turned around.

"Gah! You're not Pepper!" Tony said.

"No," said Steve. "I'm not."

"Why did you steal her hair?" Tony asked.

"I didn't!" Steve said. "I just woke up like this!"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Tony said. He tried to walk away, but The Wasp blocked his path,

"Tony Stark!" she scolded.

"Uh… who are you?" Tony asked.

"I'm Hope," Hope said. "Pepper's best friend, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. That's right," Tony said. "What do you want?"

 

"Your wife is bald, and she's crying!" Hope said. "What did you do to her?"

 

"It wasn't me," Tony said. "It was Steve! He stole her hair!"

"Ugh!" Hope said. "How disgusting!"

"I know, right?!" Tony said. "I ought to do something about that."

"Maybe you should rip the hair off his head, and give it back to Pepper!" Hope said.

"Great idea!" said Tony. "Wanna help me?"

 

"Sure!" said Hope.

 

Tony and Hope ambushed Steve.

"Hey! What are you guys doing?" Steve asked.

"Returning that stolen hair to its rightful owner!" Tony said.

 

Tony and Hope each grabbed a side, and pulled.

 

"Oh, no! I'm bald again!" Steve said, after the hair was forcibly removed from his head.

"Good!" said Hope. "You deserve it!"
"Now, let's give this hair back to Pepper!" Tony said.

"Hmm…" Steve thought out loud. "Maybe my hair will grow back, if I pray really hard."

 

After a long night of praying, Steve woke up with long hair.

"Yay!" he said.

Moral of the story: Stealing is wrong!

The end

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