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She watched as the young witch thumbed through the Malfoy collection. Hermione was known to be a lover of all things book-related. Narcissa was hoping that the new addition to the library would overshadow the act that they were back in Malfoy Manor. A place that didn’t hold very good memories for Hermione.
Nor Narcissa if she were honest with herself. They did their best to overlook the past; but some days it had a way of creeping into their budding relationship. The nightmares didn’t help in the slightest. It was why Hermione had avoided staying at the Manor once it had been awarded to Narcissa in her divorce proceedings. Narcissa watched as Hermione marveled at the books that lined the shelves, it caused a smile to cross the woman’s normally stoic face.
The way Hermione’s face lit up wasn’t lost on her. It was a rare sight. The young witch seemed to smile less and less these days. The war had done a number on both of them, but Hermione had taken the brunt of it. The library was the least of what Narcissa could do to help ease the pain that seemed to have settled in Hermione’s heart.
“I take it you’re pleased?” Her voice cut through the taut silence as Hermione turned, a smile etched upon her face. It was a smile that seemed to brighten the whole world, let alone the room. Narcissa watched as Hermione made her way to her before dropping to her knees before her and resting her head in the older woman’s lap.
“Of course I am, love, but you didn’t have to do this.” The smile that was etched on her face came through in her voice as Narcissa began to gently run her finger around one of the loose curls that had fallen free.
They’d gone through so much since they had first met.
All those years ago when Hermione had been captured and practically dragged to Malfoy Manor by the Snatchers. Their age difference was the least of their worries as they waded through years of trauma to be able to come out the other side.
“Do you regret choosing me?” Her voice was soft, but Hermione heard her all the same, and she picked her head up off Narcissa’s lap to look the woman in the eye. The tenderness that was shown there wasn’t lost on Narcissa.
“I think in the end, there wasn’t much of a choice. You chose me when no one else did. Helped piece me back together when no one else saw I was falling apart. How could I not choose you in the end?” As if Hermione had any other choice in the matter. Narcissa had been there even when her best friends hadn’t.
There hadn’t been much of a choice to make after that.
Narcissa smiled as Hermione rested her head back in her lap before she carefully started running her fingers around a curl again.
“I think it’s like you said. You chose me when no one else did; when Lucius wouldn’t grant me the divorce and everyone was telling me to stay married, you didn’t. You stepped in when no one else would and helped free me from him. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that.” Hermione hummed as she relaxed into Narcissa’s ministrations.
There was no need for Narcissa to thank Hermione. They both knew it.
“Can we just say we saved each other and leave it at that?” If they started down that road, Hermione knew it would never end. They’d saved each other in such small ways over and over again in the past few years.
Hermione knew without Narcissa she wouldn’t be the woman she was. She highly doubted she’d still be in the Wizarding World at all if it weren’t for the fact she’d fallen head over heels for one of the Black sisters. Beauty and grace, all wrapped into one.
Her damnation and salvation.
She was everything and nothing all at once. If anyone had asked Hermione ten years ago where she saw herself being, this wouldn’t have been it. This scenario wouldn’t have even crossed her mind. Happy and loved by a woman worth the world.
A woman who at one point had seen her tortured on her drawing room floor. A woman whose family had held her as a prisoner for weeks. Who willingly attempted to turn her over to the Dark Lord.
No, this wasn’t how Hermione expected her life to turn out; yet she found she couldn’t be happier than she currently was. This woman who had taken her bruised and broken and turned her into something whole again.
Who saw past the scars and anger and realized there was something worth loving underneath all that misplaced anger. Narcissa, the mother of her biggest adversary during her schooling years. The woman turned into a lover. Turned confidant and friend.
It was hard to believe this was her life now.
“Yes, we did save each other. Whether that’s a good thing or not has yet to be seen.” Narcissa laughed as Hermione leaned into her touch. Hermione couldn’t help but chuckle at the woman’s words. She wasn’t wrong.
This could blow up in their faces one day for all they knew. Hermione knew it was unlikely, but weirder things had happened. Hermione found she was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. It was a scary prospect. Happy. It was something Hermione hadn’t truly felt in years. It scared her more than she would ever admit.
Narcissa knew that somehow. She saw through the walls Hermione forced up and broke down every last one. In forcing the young girl to confront the horrors of her past, they had found each other somehow. It wasn’t how this was supposed to turn out. None of this was how it was supposed to turn out.
They didn’t get to be happy.
Narcissa found she couldn’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop. Something to come along and sweep away everything that she had been gifted with. It was only a matter of time after all. She could practically taste it.
Something would come along and steal her happiness.
Until then, she planned to live every day like it was her last. To enjoy the feel of her fingers running through Hermione’s hair. To live for the moment instead of worrying about what was just around the horizon. That fear clawed at her, growing stronger by the day, but Narcissa did her best to tamp it down.
Now was not the time to be ruled by fear. Now was the time to let love in. To bask in the glow of being surrounded by a woman who loved her unconditionally. Who saw past her poised and proper upbringing and knew that there was a woman waiting to be unleashed somewhere in there.
Hermione had brought out the best in her. The witch was still bringing out the best in her. She knew it would end eventually, all good things did, but until then. Until then, she was going to love her with all she had.
It was all she could do.